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Transcript

Santa's Sinister Six · Movie Meltdown

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: We now return to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Ho, ho, ho.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Merry Christmas.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, George.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Merry Christmas, movie house. It's the gift that keeps on
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: giving the whole year.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: I love people around.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Baby, please. What's up, and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm George.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And we're coming to you live via digital recording from
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the back of the theater where, you know, all the
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: bums are sleeping because it's cold outside and we gotta
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: watch some of these Christmas movies.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: If you're cold, they're cold, folks.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Gotta cuddle up with the bum and, you know, body heat.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: It saves us all. So, we are back to focus
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: on some of the Christmas classics? I'm using that very loosely.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: that we watched this uh this this season um before
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: we get into it just to ease our way in
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: with another dumb activity that i do quite often i
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: know you've probably seen on the uh the old facebook
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: page not that i claim facebook but i yeah there's
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: nothing better at this point so somebody else make a
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: better uh social media platform thank you i would like
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: that yeah In the meantime, we've got our little group
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: on Facebook and you've probably seen me recreate the actions.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I try to translate everything I do in life into
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Lego figures.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I dig it.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: So at times I recreate us doing stupid stuff on
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the show as Lego figures. So my question is, are
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: you willing to become a Lego person in the recreations
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: of this show?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Well, damn right.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Are you comfortable with being a Lego person?
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: And if so, I will now let you approve or
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: disapprove of your interpretation.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, nice.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So I was trying to put together the best version
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I could. And here you are.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I figured if anybody was going to be wearing a
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Flash shirt....
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: You've got good hair, too.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I went with a few. I was like, no,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that's not right. That's not right. It takes a while
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: to kind of like find the right persona.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: And you got the right level of jaundice on the
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: skin color, too.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's the Lego world. I'm weirded out by
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: the like fleshy versions. I can't get into that. Everybody
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I do is the traditional old school minifig yellow. Yeah.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I highly approve of that. That's a great figure.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: All right. Well, if you're comfortable with it, then you
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and I will trim the tree here.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Lovely.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I'm just getting started. I couldn't find a lot of
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: the Christmas stuff this year so far. So I'm hoping
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: further into the month, I'll see if I can come
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: up with a bigger Lego set and come up with
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: more action shots. But for now, we'll just string these
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: lights around the tree and There we are, trimming the tree.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Look at us.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So if you guys haven't, you know, if you can't
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: see this through your audio player, you best just get
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: on the old Facebook page and I'll post some pictures
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: of it. So if you want to see us recreated
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: in Lego form, trimming the tree and talking about Christmas movies.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: That's great.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: So I can now add you to the mix and
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you can be fighting vampires like, you know, the rest
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: of us.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Lovely. I enjoy a good vampire fight.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And, you know, Christmas. Although, yeah, what did I do? Halloween,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I brought out the Headless Horseman. That was fun. He
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: was going to decapitate Philip, but that was bound to
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: happen eventually. Whether it was the Headless Horseman or not,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: sooner or later, he's probably going to be decapitated.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Sorry, Phil.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: So, I thought that would ease us into the holiday
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: fun of little Lego people trimming the tree.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, transitioning from fun into the pain I subjected myself
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: to yesterday.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: See, now you listed off the ones that you watched,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: and I was like, well, actually, this is good, because
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: you went down the more... strange road the off christmas
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: movies i mean these are still these are definitely christmas
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: movies but.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I definitely picked ones that are in the what the
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: fuck category.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: And see i went the other not planning i just
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: picked a few and watched them and and some of
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: which too because i hadn't seen a ton of the
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: what is now considered traditional go-to christmas movies for a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: lot of mainstream america So I watched a couple of
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: those and I'm like, I land on what the fuck
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: a lot over there too. So this is a nice
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: balance because I've got at least two of my three
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: are super... mainstream versions of what you know people are
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: looking for in their modern era of christmas movies i'm
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: using quotes again um so and then yours are going
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: to be the fringe of what the fuck so oh
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: yeah there's this is quite and i've got one towards
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: the end that's very unconventional too but not that level
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: not like that level of weird just like not traditional
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: in any way shape or form so do you want
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: to kick it off uh.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: I do um The one I would actually speak about
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: the least, because I've seen this one before, but it's
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: been about 15 years. But this one always pops up
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: on worst movies of all time, worst Christmas movies, worst everything.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: I am speaking of the 1964 classic, Santa Claus Conquers
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: the Martians.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I figured at some point we would end up on
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: this for a Christmas episode.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: You have to!
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: So I don't know if this is... If this will
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: fulfill it, maybe it'll get it off of my list
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: and I won't have to. Although, I mean, I've seen
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: bits and pieces of it. I don't remember sitting down
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and watching it in its entirety.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: It's a chore in its entirety.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. I think it works better as
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: the joke bits and pieces that make it funny and weird,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: but like... What you realize watching a lot of those
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: old bad movies is they're really slow. So the moments
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: that are weird are fun, and then there's another 60
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: minutes along the way of just filling time and drug
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: out and dialogue that goes nowhere.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: And see, in the order of the films I watched,
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: this was number two on the list. And I watched
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: the worst film of the three films I watched first.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: He had it out of the way.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: So I basically, I went to Auschwitz first, experienced that horror,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: and then like, you know, went to like 9-11. So
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: it's like, yes, a horror, but not maybe as horrific
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: as that one.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: None of these sound like fun at all.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: You know what? They really weren't. I had actually more
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: fun doing some research than I did actually watching these films.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what I find with this show in general.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It's like sometimes the bad movie by itself isn't good.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: But what we come to along the way or after
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the fact is way more entertaining than watching the movie.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: But then I end up being glad I watched the
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: movie because I had the ridiculous conversations that we have.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I will say, though, my saving grace for watching Santa
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Claus Conquers the Martians and the other film I'll get
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: to in a moment is thank God for riff tracks
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: because I started watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: normal version of it, and I'm like, yeah i can't
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: do it so i went back and found the riff
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: tracks version and thank god so there you go so
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: it made a little more you.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Know i am a sucker for those guys yeah smart
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: ass comments uh yeah love them.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: To death um but yeah so that's you know it's
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: it's a horrible film it's very kitschy uh i mean
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: it's it's it's a cute little movie it's the whole
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: concept that basically martian children are jealous of earth children
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: because of christmas and they want their own christmas so
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: The Martian leader's like, hey, we'll just invite Santa Claus
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: over here and he'll make Christmas over here. And he does,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: but there are some naughty Martians and one guy that
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: basically looks like he stole Geraldo Rivera's mustache. And he,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: you know, they don't want anything to do with Christmas
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: and they're trying to be the turds in the punch bowl. So,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: but yeah, it's, it is, it's still an issue.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: In its entirety, the hour and 45 or hour and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: 30 minutes this movie is. That's a long time for
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that kind of thing.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: It's, yeah.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Seems like an hour and 10 would be good.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: But yeah, but the one movie I really want to
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: spend some time discussing as to why this exists. I'd
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: always heard of this movie, but I'd never actually seen
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: it before. It's almost like, This is so bad, you
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: don't want to, you shouldn't subject yourself to this.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: If it's the one I think you're going to, yeah,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I only knew of it because, you know, I worked
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: at the last days of our last Bastion video store
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: that had the cool alternative movies and, you know, every
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: section was super sub-genre and, like, it was the it
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: hung on as long as it did because it catered
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: to the movie geeks and it catered towards people that
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: like stuff that was either weird or super sub genres
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: and very specific genres. So that's why he hung on
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: as long as he did. And yeah, I was there
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: the last year and a half or so. And like,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I remember this being in the section, uh, I don't
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: remember if it was a holiday section or a what
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: the hell is going on here. Because we did have
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: one that was just kind of like a question mark.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: It was just, what are these? I don't know. Random.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like it might have been... Or maybe both.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe one in each. I think it got mixed into
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the Christmas stuff one year when people were talking up
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: different weird stuff. This one was... I guess give it
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: the full introduction here.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: To give you.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Just a little bit of, like I said, I spent
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: more time doing research than actually paying attention to the
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: movie because it is that awful. This is, on a
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: technical level, a nightmare of a film in editing, in photography,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: in sound design.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Like in the so amateur-ish it's painful category.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Yes, like we hang on shots for far too long.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Like someone said cut 30 seconds ago. But we're still
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: on this shot.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I forgot I was still rolling. Hey, what are we doing?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Or we get, like, horrendous jump cuts. I mean, so
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: disturbing are these jump cuts. I mean, I just felt bad.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: But a little bit of research. In the late 60s,
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: early 70s, there was a theme park in Florida called
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Pirate's World.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: Now.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: There were a lot of old weird theme parks.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: There were, yeah. This one got a lot of notoriety
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: because it was kind of the go-to place for rock concerts.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And like the 69th through.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: 71, everybody.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: What city was this in?
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: It was like Tampa or somewhere. It was a major
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: city in Florida. Big enough to bring in real names.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Big enough. Big enough for Florida City. But yeah, I mean,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: everybody played this venue. There's even a few live albums
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: that were recorded at Pirates World. Interesting. They decided that
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: they were going to make children's films as well, and so... Sure,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: why not? Because, well, they had this mixture of, like,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: mascot characters around Pirate's World, only one of them actually
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: being a pirate, like Petey the Pirate or something like that,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: but yeah, like.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Stinky the skunk. It's weird that it's pirate-themed, and yet
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: then they don't commit to the pirate theme.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah. You had all these different sections, but they
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: had a fascination with a lot of the Hans Christian
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: Andersen stories. So a lot of those characters were represented
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: in there.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: Interesting.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So they decided that we're going to shoot some children's films,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: and so we did an adaptation of Thumbelina, and then
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: we did an adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Or as they call it, Jack in the Beanstalk.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Is there like a door?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: No.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: It's a pneumatic tube that shoots him up to the giant?
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: No, I think it just might be a misprint.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: But anyway, so we do those two films. We're like, okay,
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: this is great. Kids are going to love this stuff.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Kids love fairy tales. No, no one loved this shit.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: So fast forward, we're going to make another movie. We're
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: going to do a Christmas movie. Sure, let's do this.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: We're going to do this fun movie about Santa Claus
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: and the elves are looking for him. It's before Christmas.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Where's Santa Claus? Where's, you know? Oh, he's stuck in
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Florida because his sleigh is stuck on the beach. The
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: reindeer are nowhere to be found. He's just a dude
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: sitting on the beach.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Truth be told, after you threw this out there when
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: we started talking about this episode, I was like, okay,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: maybe we'll both try to watch the same movie. And
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I started this one. This happens a lot. So it
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: wasn't any reflection of the movie, but sometimes the follow-up
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: is a reflection of the movie. So within about 10 minutes,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I fell asleep. But that happens all the damn time.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just old and I'm narcoleptic and I fall asleep
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: all the time. So I've fallen asleep on many a
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: terrific film before. No reflection in the movie. What happens
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: later is then sometimes I wake up and be like,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I gotta go finish this movie. And then
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: there's this version where I was like, I really don't
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: feel like going back to that. So it's still on pause.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: At some point, I'm gonna finish this movie. but I
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: just went a different direction when I woke up.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: You have to.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: So I saw him on the beach is what I
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: was leading to. And I saw Santa's sleigh there. And
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I felt like even what little I watched, I was like,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like there's more to this story that I missed. Like,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: we don't know why he's just on the beach.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: He's just on the beach, yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: There's no reindeer. There is no story.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: He's just like, he's there.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And that's why I was like, it feels like I
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: already missed the scene and I'm only in the first
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: few minutes of this movie. So I can't imagine it
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: gets better.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: And the thing I love too is that obviously like,
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: All the other people who are actors, you see them
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: speaking and whatnot. I think Santa Claus was overdubbed the
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: entire time because his beard's so big. It's a fake beard, obviously.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: But you never actually see his mouth move. You just
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: see him just gesturing. He's moving around like an inflatable
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: whaling tube man or something.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: He's out in front of a car lot somewhere.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: So it's kind of that.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But what happens is that Santa Claus.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Essentially telepathically summons a group of children. Random kids from
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: around the area. And, of course, it's a wonderful swath
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: of like, okay, this is 1972 when this movie came out.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: So the kids look like they literally walked out of 1972.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Again, that's the only other thing I remember is, man,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: they did not recruit.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Actors for this movie.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Those kids are just kids.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: They are just kids.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Delivering some lines as, best they can.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: I will argue that most of those children delivered lines
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: better than a quote-unquote professional actor.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: That's just not saying much about the rest of the cast.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: It really isn't. This is basically, it's like a community
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: theater production that was committed to film.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I'll give you. That's about what it looked like.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: But so once the children are telepathically summoned, they're trying
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: to get Santa Claus out of the sand. And they
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: use a variety of animal gimmicks to do so. They
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: bring in a donkey. They bring in a horse. They
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: bring in a sheep. They bring in a pig. They
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: bring in some dude in a gorilla suit.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Do we need all of these? Wouldn't you try it
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: once and be like, well, that's not going to work.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Let's come up with something else. I would have thought
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: the fucking dude in a gorilla suit would have been
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: good enough. But it was not.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: You would hope.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: So Santa Claus still being stuck. So was it supposed
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: to be a gorilla? And they just got... I mean,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: either way, they can't be a real gorilla. Or was
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: it supposed to be a guy in a gorilla suit?
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: I think technically in the whole Maison scene of the
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: whole thing, I think it's supposed to be the child
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: literally went and plucked a gorilla from the forests of Florida.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: That's like its own weird subgenre of film.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: There's another story there.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: People in gorilla suits in movies. For decades. Like, it's
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: the entire history of film. There have been people in
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: gorilla suits in movies. Yeah. And it always doesn't look real.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: No, it never does.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: So it's how much you want to commit to what
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: we're doing with this guy in a gorilla suit. Because
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: it is its own level of cinema. I'm sure this
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: one is top of the line. Yeah.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: So after this menagerie of animals to pull Santa's sleigh
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: out of the sand does not work, Santa basically gives
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: up and decides it's story time. So we're going to
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: start telling the story to the kids to get them
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: inspired or whatever else.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Isn't Santa magic?
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: He is.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Shouldn't he be able to make his sleigh fly or
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: give this pig random flight powers to get this out
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: of there?
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: We don't talk about that.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think a real version of this story,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: which obviously they won't know part of this logic.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: You are clearly making sense. None of that. This is
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: not the film for that. Now here's where we get
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: a bit of a divergence here. Because this film merits
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: such audacity in its existence. But it has more than
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: one cut of the film to exist.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Because we wanted to maximize the previous crappy children's films
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: we shot a few years earlier.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So suddenly he wants to tell stories about Thumbelina and
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Jack in the Beanstalk?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Yes, he does.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Of course he does.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Now here's a funny thing. Depending on which cut of
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: the film you see depends on which of the stories
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: you get to hear.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: So it's like Clue? Yes!
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: You might get a different version? You might get a
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: different version. But the interesting thing is that Santa's preamble
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: and lead up, which also has nothing to do with
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: either of those children's stories, or Christmas... But the preamble
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: is the same and leads up, and then, Beau, we
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: go headlong into a full-on short film that's at least
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: 20 minutes in length, taking up a good third, if
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: not more, of the film.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Again, real-world question.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: What the hell were they going to do with these
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: two cuts? Were they playing... Like you were supposed to
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: see it more than once to see a different cut?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Or different cities got different cuts?
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know. That's the one thing I could not
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: find out. Because the Riff Trax guys, thankfully, have done both.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: They did a Riff Trax on each cut.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Sorry bastards that they are.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: Strangely enough, of the two productions, the Thumbelina one is
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: a little better. Because the Jack and the Beanstalk one,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: the Jack is A... super-duper annoying, and B, it's somewhat
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: of a musical, and he can't sing. He's horrible.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Sure, that's who you want to hire for your musical.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: How they got a guy with that thick of a
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Jersey accent in Florida, I don't know, but they did.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's just god-awful. But yeah, there's the Thumbelina one. Now,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: the interesting other thing, too, is that you know, like
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: I said, both films, the little shorts are like 20
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: minutes plus or something like that. The Thumbelina cut, you
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: get closing credits for the Thumbelina movie. Full-on closing credits.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: So Santa Claus is telling you the credits. Santa Claus
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: is telling you the credits. Picture those in your mind, kids.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep. Santa Claus is telling you the credits.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: He's also singing you all these songs that are in
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: said films.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Of course he is.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: And then when we get to the end of the
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: closing credits, boom, we're back on the beach with the kids.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: It's a better transition than the Jack and the Beanstalk one.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: This is what I was discussing earlier because... We get
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: to the end of the Jack and the Beanstalk, and
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: the whole cast, even people who shouldn't have been in
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: the whole cast, sing along at the end, are. But
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: everybody's singing this big song at the end, and they
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: literally cut the song off at one point. You can
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: tell they're winding up to the big wrap-up. They're getting there.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: They haven't quite got there yet, but they're real close.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: And then literally stepping on your dick... It just cuts
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: to this weird shot of Santa Claus where it's like
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: the camera is a little cockeyed. He's like full on
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: like extreme close up and you kind of like focus
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: on his eyes. His eyes look a little like crazed.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Thousand yard stare. Santa's losing it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: And we are on this shot for a good 10
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: seconds before anything is said. And then we go to
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: a second jump cut going back to him talking to
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: the kids. Hey, what did you all think of the story?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I think I'm seeing the problem here. How high were
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: you as you were watching?
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Not.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: And there you go. I feel like there are certain
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: movies that only make sense if you are stoned out
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: of your mind. And I don't really do that, so
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I don't process them the right way. I feel like
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: there's things I've watched that I just didn't get it
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: because I wasn't on massive amounts of drugs.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Now here's the best part. Because we haven't even got
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: to the end of the movie. Oh, of course not.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: And notice I said that this is titled Santa Claus
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: and the Ice Cream Bunny? I can only hope he
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: shows up. Yeah! He doesn't fucking show up until the end.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Of the movie!
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Even he didn't want to be in this movie. He's like, look,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I'll be there at the inn, and I better get
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: a sandwich from Craft Table.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: And it's this really strange, like, Mad Max homage, even
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: though Mad Max doesn't come out for another seven years.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: But we get... The Ice Cream Bunny arrives to help
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Santa Claus in an old-fashioned fire truck.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: All right. Like, normally, the Ice Cream Bunny drives around,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: and I see him all the time.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: He also... does not mention nor possess any ice cream.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: There's no ice cream to discuss. And so I thought, well,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: maybe he was a character at Pirate's World.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: That would at least make sense in that little word.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: No!
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: No! Because it is weird. I remember at the time
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: when I saw the video box that we had in
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: there and I was just like, okay, that's a weird
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: mixture because bunny makes me think Easter. So it'd be
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: different if it were like Santa meets the Easter bunny
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: and it's a nightmare before Christmas thing of like we
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: have both holidays battling it out. But I was like,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: ice cream bunny doesn't seem Easter. That's... I don't know
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: what that is. That sounds made up.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I don't... I mean, like... he's as white as ice cream?
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't get it.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Is he made of ice cream? No! At any point
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: does someone try to take a bite of him?
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: It's a dude in a rabbit suit, and there's one
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: point where the rabbit actually winks, like only one eye winks,
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: and it's kind of like when someone with Bell's palsy
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: tries to wink.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: It's just, it's not good.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so, but yeah, the Mad Max tribute is basically,
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: we hear the old-fashioned... like, fire trucks sounded like an
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: air raid horn.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: You know, when they were coming down the street, so
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: you could really hear them coming from a mile away.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: And so you're hearing this kind of in the distance
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: start to grow, and then you'll see, like, suddenly, like,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: a out-of-the-nowhere sound Glimpse shot of a piece of the vehicle. Like,
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: you see, like, a wheel rolling. Or you see, like,
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: the front end. Or something like that. So, like, they're
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: really trying to build up the suspense. Like, what's coming? Well,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: it's a fucking firetruck, kids. Because you know what it is.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: But who's driving said firetruck? A dude in a rabbit suit.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: A rabbit suit with a big mohawk? Because I assume... No, no, no.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, damn it.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I'm making my own movie now.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: And here's the best part. The... Firetruck is loaded up
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: with the kids that Santa was telling a story to.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: So when did they leave? He psychically told them to
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: leave and go to the firetruck. And then the ice
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: cream bunny, which is a made-up thing that nobody knows
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: what it is, will drive it back to me.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: As you can tell, folks, this movie just infuriated me.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: It just... There's so many levels to pick this apart at.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: And it just... It's overwhelming at times. And the riff
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: tracks kind of help, but it's still the same time.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: It's like, shit. That sounds great.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I highly recommend it, actually.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I will. Like I said, I'm on pause. I'll come
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: back and finish. I've only got another, what did we say,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: an hour and 30 minutes left to watch. I'm almost done.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: And it'll be interesting to see which cut you get.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I just picked whatever one was
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: free on the internet because I don't want to give
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: them any money for this bullshit.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so if it's the Jack and the Beanstalk one,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: you will see that horrible... I mean, I know a
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: little bit of editing. I've done some in television and
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: some social media, stuff like that. So I've done a
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: little bit of editing. I am not a great editor
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: per se, but.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, basic, yeah. I mean, just the nonsense I've
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: done over the years. Like, I picked up some basic
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: stuff that I thought, oh, that looks better than even
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: what I did two weeks ago when I started playing
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: with the software. So, like, you would think anybody who's
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: doing it, even on a low-end professional level, would get
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: past the point of what you're describing.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: I will say, though, I'm curious of who the director
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: of photography was because it may have been an adolescent J.J. Abrams.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: because there is an obvious, out-of-nowhere lens flare. Oh, God. Yeah.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: They're literally pointing at the sun. But, yeah, there's a
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: good old-fashioned JJ lens flare that for no reason whatsoever.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: So I'm thinking he got to start early.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Well, and I only assume inside the bunny suit is
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Mel Gibson, once again returning for another holiday classic, because
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: that's who you want in all of your holiday classics.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Young Mel Gibson in a bunny suit. Yes.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: I will say, though, that of the three films I watched,
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: the final one, Christmas Evil, was actually the best of
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: the bunch. I thought it was going to be horrible.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: It's actually not. The biggest issue it deals with is pacing.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: It's an hour and a half film that probably could
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: have had at least 20 or 30 minutes of the cut.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: And this era would have been old school slasher, or
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: is it different than that?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: It is 1980, so this is definitely, basically the poster
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: literally is like, first there was Halloween, then there was
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: Friday the 13th, now, you know.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Now we're hitching our train to this cash cow. That's
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: how that saying works, right?
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: And this is an interesting movie because it fell victim
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: to the multiple name issues.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: It is most popularly billed as Christmas Evil. When you
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: look for it in streaming services, I think I found
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: it on Tubi. It was a free place. But it's
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Christmas Evil. But when you watch the movie and you
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: get to the title card, what's the movie called? You
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: better watch out.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: See, I have heard that before, so I knew there
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: was one called that. I've lost track of how many
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: horror Christmas movies there are, because there are more than
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: you would assume, really.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: And I've seen some articles where it said it actually
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: had a third name, like.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: He sees you. It's something along those lines. It's kind
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: of going along the same thing, but yeah, but Christmas
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: evil is mostly what it's billed as. But like I said,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: they never bothered to change the fucking title card.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: That's yeah. I just watched something else that I watched.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I think they'd done a redone Blu-ray of it recently.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: And like, this was a new deluxe version that they did,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: but like the title I'd always seen it as was
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: on the box. And then an entirely different title comes
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: up in the school and like the credits that pop
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: up at the beginning. So yeah, It is such a
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: weird game that they played. I don't know that they
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: do that quite as much these days. Not anymore, but.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: That kind of stopped right in the 90s.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It was still done in the 80s a little bit.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: They just pick a title and go with it now.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I think because now there's so much licensing and merchandising
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: costs that they just gotta pick one and go with it.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Because otherwise you get a fiasco of something like a live-die-repeat.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: They picked one and then they went, oh shit, we're
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: gonna do this. And then like, we'll do both like
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: we don't know what we're doing like that's one of
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: those that just i think it helped ruin their.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: Box office yeah i did yeah.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Because i think it's a really good movie but i'm
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: like they went with a forgettable title and then they
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: halfway changed their mind and then i'm like just.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: Go with it Yeah, Live, Die, Repeat was a much
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: better title.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: That's a great title.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: What did they end up going with?
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Edge of Tomorrow? The soap opera title. That sounds like
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: something I would change the channel in the middle of
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the afternoon, in the middle of the week. Like, we'll
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: be back with Edge of Tomorrow in a minute. It
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: really sounds like a bad soap opera.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: This is Dion Caron, and you're watching Edge of Tomorrow.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: So, I'd much rather watch Live, Die, Repeat. So I
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: feel like that's one of the few times in recent
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: years that there was sort of a name switch midway in.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: But even that, you see how badly it went.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: A movie, an 80s film that was beloved by me,
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: not by many of course, but falls under that name
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: switch thing. Originally titled Dark Angel amongst international box offices.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: In the United States though, I come in peace. I
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: have seen that one. The Dolph Lundgren classic.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: It's been a long time, but I have seen that one, yep.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: That's right. That's the one where the space aliens are
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: killing humans because our brain stem fluid is a drug.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: And Dolph Lundgren's a Los Angeles police officer who wants
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: to take this alien out.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: That was the... I mean, that became like a... Again,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it was sheerly by accident that
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: all of these movies with kind of that same plot,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: because The Hidden is the same damn plot. But The
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Hidden is a much better film! But they do it
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: totally different. Like, they do a different thing with it. But,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, basically you guys had the exact same idea.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And then I feel like there's a third one around
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: that same time. that's sort of that same thing.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Well, Alienation is kind of like.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Kind of, yeah.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Alienation came a little bit... That's like the big budget version. Yeah,
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: it came a little bit later, but yeah, Alienation.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: But I feel like, yeah, two or three different ones
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: with that same basic idea. I feel like there's a
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: super low budget one that was right at that same time.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: There probably was.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: There was like a third one that was almost the
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: exact same premise, but.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of cop and alien, or cop paired
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: with alien sort of things like that, but how did
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: we get Going from that.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: That's how we do things here.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: We do. But Christmas Evil, basic plot of this, it's
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: very similar in nature to Silent Night, Deadly Night, where
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: we get someone that had a child that was all
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: in Christmas wonder, and then something takes him out of
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: said Christmas wonder and scars him mentally for life.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Of course. Fast forward to him being an adult. He
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: works at a toy factory. He has kind of like
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: a shitty job, but he loves his job at the
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: toy factory because he makes toys for children. In his
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: personal life, he dresses like Santa Claus's own home, has
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Christmas music that plays 24-7, and Christmas decorations all over
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: the place. So the dude really likes his Christmas. He also,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: in a very creepy way, keeps track of the neighborhood children.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Who's good, who's naughty. And the naughty reasons are really interesting. Like,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: you know, there's this one particular kid who's the naughty child.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: He's not that naughty of a kid. He picks his nose.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: He's occasionally vulgar. He picks on the kids a little bit.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: And he has a fascination with Penthouse Magazine.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: All right. Some of those are semi-acceptable.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, come on.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: So those are grounds for murdering these children?
• 32:38
  Speaker 6: No.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Or does it just... That's the thing.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: The children are not going to be harmed whatsoever. This
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: naughty child, when we get to kind of the crescendo
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: of the film, where basically he has stolen toys from
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: said workplace, and he's completely, fully, he is Santa Claus now.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: He's in his fugue state. He thinks he's Santa Claus.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: He's glued the beard to his face.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: And, you know, sort of thing like that. He made
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: his own Santa suit. But he's going around delivering toys
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: to the good kids, and the kid that's the bad kid,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: he gets a sack of dirt. So it's like, you know,
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: but to the adults, on the other hand, that are naughty,
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: he does murder them.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Are these his parents? Because that would be more interesting
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: is he wouldn't be a terrible kid if you were
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a better parent. So I'm going to take you out
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: for being a terrible parent. But instead, he just picks
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: random people.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: No, it's for a slasher film. This is probably the
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: lowest body counts in Psycho. Nice. Because I think it
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: has like four people get killed. And that's it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: It's old school Halloween.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: He doesn't kill a ton of people. Yeah. And really
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: the murder doesn't happen until like the last 30.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Minutes of the movie.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: He's saving up.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: So there's a lot of preamble to get to the
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: full on breakdown. So they do it well where it's
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: like we're making some discussions about mental health and the
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: treatment of people with this. Yeah. He's got a brother,
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: and his brother's got a family, and the family's supportive
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: of the crazy brother, but his brother's like, I know
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: he's crazy.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: He needs to get some help, and how I'm going
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: to help him is just.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: To yell at him.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that'll do it. Right.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: But, you know, so we get the nasty co-workers essentially
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: are the ones who get killed. There's some interesting death scenes. Basically,
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: there's a public execution... There's a scene where he sneaks
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: into someone's home and kills someone with a Christmas star.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, sure, that seems fitting.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: The ending is definitely up for some interpretation. Because it's,
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: does he die at the end? Or does he transcend
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: to Santa Claus heaven?
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, we need a sequel. So whichever one brings
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: him back.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: This ain't a sequel. Either way, he's gone.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, we can turn it into a sequel.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: I'm sure we could, yeah. But yeah, it's a well-acted film.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: It's actually, like I said, the biggest issue is the pacing.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: But going into research, I found out that John Waters
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: celebrates this movie.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I can see that.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: To the point where he has holiday parties to show
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: this movie.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I can see that.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: It's like a regular thing he does.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Sounds right up his alley.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: But yeah, the movie's trying to make some statements on
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: the real meaning of Christmas and overt consumerism. And let's
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: put quality and mankind before the almighty dollar.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Bad treatment of mental health issues.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: There's a lot to say in this movie. So frankly,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: if you want to compare it directly to Silent Night,
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: Deadly Night, it's got a lot more to say.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: See, I was trying to decide if maybe the name change,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: because I was thinking a few years back on the
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: end of the year, I remember trying to sit down
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: and watch, and again, I think something happened I didn't finish,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: but New Year's Evil, which is that same year. So
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: I wonder if maybe that was the reason for the
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: name change.
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: Maybe.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Because they both came out at the same time, and
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: they didn't want to cancel each other out or confuse
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: people or.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: I think the other initial reason, because when it was
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: initially released, it was under You Better Watch Out.
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: But when it came out, it popped up in the
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: UK's Video Nasties list. And so while that... In other countries,
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: we'll give you a certain level of notoriety, including the UK,
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: because everybody wants to get your hands on this movie.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: But then you can't find it, yeah. But then you
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: can't find it. So that may have been a way
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: to circumvent that to say.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: That wasn't us. That was a different movie. It was
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: our movie. We're only R-rated or whatever their version of
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: it was. Yeah.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: And that's the thing, too. Even the death scenes were real.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, the makeup's good, but they're not necessarily gory.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Somebody gets stabbed in the eye, somebody gets their throat slit,
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: but it's like.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: It's a horror movie.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's like you see much more gore in
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: films that are contemporary of that era. Yeah.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so Christmas Evil was the best of the three, certainly.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: But it was still... There were some pacing issues with that.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: But God, nowhere near as bad as The Ice Cream Mummy.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Christmas is almost here, and on the Hallmark Channel, we
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: won't let you forget it with our Countdown to Christmas.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: From the people who bring you one-sentence greeting cards comes
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: 21 full-length original Christmas movies coming this December. Lydia leaves
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: her big city job to run her grandmother's Christmas tree
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: farm and sparks fly when she crosses paths with her
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: high school sweetheart. The only catch, he's young Santa.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: Is that your fiance who lives in the city?
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Come on, come on, pick up. It's either me or Christmas, Lydia.
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: He works too much, so it's okay if I cheat
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: on him.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Jessica Normal and Canadian handsome Chris Bairstick star in Yes Santa.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: It's quantity over quality, people, and we are just blasting
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: your ass with these. Michelle is a single mother and
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: struggling baker whose Christmas wish goes horribly wrong. Now she's
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: trapped in a snow globe and the only person who
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: can get her out before Christmas is her black coworker
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: with no backstory.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: Marcus, Marcus, I'm in here.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Now what in the world?
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: He says that same line four separate times. It's Kitchen
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Christmas Wish. Whether she's that girl from Party of Five
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: or he's that guy from Desperate Housewives, you'll be asking, wait,
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: how do I know that actor? all filmed during one
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: month in Ottawa. Can you spot the sets we used
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: multiple times?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Hint, hint, the gazebo.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: Sarah qualified for the Kingdom's Christmas Ice Skating Prize, but
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: when she hits her head and gets amnesia, she forgets
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: her ice skating routine and accidentally becomes a princess, starring
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: a once-famous, now very Christian actress, Meredith DeVoe Ellis, and
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Chris Bearstick. We got him to be in two of
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: these for no pay. You look familiar.
• 39:03
  Speaker 6: Did I know you before I hit my head?
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: I'm the prince and you will be my.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Princess another proposal.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: Rudolph will you bring my sleigh around.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: What it's prince santa hallmark this is our super bowl
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: christmas santa christmas.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: So what did you subject.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Yourself to i went the other route for at least
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: the first two of my three. So I, the first
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: one was kind of random. The second one was specifically
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: to get to one of these more or less classics
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: of this new sort of a genre. And then the
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: third one was just random. This looks totally different. Let's
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: go with that.
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: So the first one I saw, I think when we
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: just started talking about, hey, let's just talk about some
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Christmas movies. So I was like, okay, I should watch something.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: So we'll have some more, you know, recent views of stuff.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: So I saw this just listed as title and I
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: saw like the one sentence synopsis and I went, all right, whatever.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: That's kind of interesting. Let's go with that. I watched
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Love Hard, which is... And this is the part that
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: kind of gets me as we get into the story.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Isn't that on Pornhub?
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. I've watched, I mean, those you can't keep
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: track of how many versions of those you've watched. Too
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: many to name. But, no, there's a reason it's called that.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: And it becomes one of my main issues as we
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: get into this. So, but the part that's weird is
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: it was, the reason it popped up was not because
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: it was holiday, but it was because it was new.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: It came out in 2021. Okay. So the fact that
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: these key elements don't make any sense to me making
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: a movie in 2021. So I don't know if it's
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: that on the shelf, but if so, it's for a
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: long time for any of this to make sense. But
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: it is one of those, I didn't, I just kind
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: of blind picked it based on it being new. I
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: didn't know, but once you get into it, it's a
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: Nina Dobrev movie.
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah. The Vampire Diaries.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I watched it. I got
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: into it as soon as it gets on. I was like,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I know I know her from something. I just, over Halloween,
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: watched the Final Girls. So she's in that. So I
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: was like, I had just seen her in Final Girls.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: But she's also in the Flatliners remake. She's in the
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Vampire Diaries. She's in Perks of Being a Wallflower. She's in...
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Most people of a certain era will know her because
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: she started off in Degrassi, The Next Generation. So that's
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: really where... most people of that age range will know
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: her from.
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: So she's like a legit actress. Like, so that I'm like, okay,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: that's good. I recognize this girl. She's fine. And then, um,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: the other character, this is our other lead is, uh,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Jimmy O. Yang, which he, I didn't recognize right off,
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: but he's in crazy rich Asians. He's in Silicon Valley.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: He's in fresh off the boat. So like, he's also
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: kind of an up and coming guy.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I think he's got a new comedy special.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: Both of these. Yeah.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Both of these are pretty good, but, let's get into my,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: my main issues, which are like so many beats of
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: the story, because as it goes on, like everything's fine.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Like everything's structured fine.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: It's just weird that.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: They're coming at these things that to me are so dated,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: like they're new, like of the moment kind of a thing.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: First of all, the fact that it, it, takes place
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: around a dating app kind of thing okay but they
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: still sort of treat it like this is like a
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: new thing not i don't know like that part's kind
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: of iffy like i can't decide if like they didn't
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: really know much about these dating apps and like again
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: everything everything in this movie seems like it's something that
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: like your parents are coming out there you know those
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: new apps like everything is like new to this person
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: that's writing this movie so it seems in my mind
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: So everything seems like it's brand new, like they don't
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: know what the hell any of this is about. So
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: these apps, and you know, they can't, you can't tell
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: who these people are. And I knew that's kind of
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: what the story, the one sentence synopsis was basically she
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: travels across country to go meet this guy that she
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: met up with on this app. And then of course
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: things don't go well. So I'm like, whatever, that at
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: least sounds like it could be fun. So the things
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: that are weird. So first of all, She's like a
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: writer for, again, I guess everything. They can't seem to
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: decide on a lot of these movies, so it would
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: seem like what, again, what year is this taking place?
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: I think hers was at least like internet-based, maybe. I
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: don't know. She's like a writer, but she's still in
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: an office that looks like she could be working at
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: a newspaper or a magazine or something. It's the most generic,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: you know, journalism thing. Anyway, we're going to send you
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: on this terrible job. So she's like, she's right. She
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: basically goes on dates with these guys from an app
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: and then they're always terrible. So she writes about them
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: under some pseudonym and that's her job. Her job is
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: to go on terrible dates and then write this series
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: of articles.
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: So what is like Christmas Carrie Bradshaw?
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: I guess she just writes a terrible thing about these
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: guys that she goes on dates on and her like,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: Her boss thinks this is terrific that she keeps going
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: on these terrible dates. And she's obviously getting... Is her
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: boss played by a former SNL cast member?
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: No.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, that seems like what.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Is made for these movies.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of. But he's not quite that charming. He
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: seems like kind of a jerk. And then later, I'm like, no,
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: he's still kind of a jerk. So his plan is
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: that she needs to get her next piece to him.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: And she's like, I'm sick of going on these dates.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: And then she meets this guy... And he's like super hunky.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: He's the kind of guy who wears like a winter
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: toboggan all the time. Ah, one of those guys, you
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? He looks like, he looks
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: like he's off of like an Abercrombie ad and he's
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: got his scruffy beard and he's wearing one of those
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: hats all the time.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: So that's, yeah, that, that's that guy. And of course
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: this is the, I mean, you've seen that girl. That's
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the kind of guy she's going to go for. So,
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: and like, so that's the thing. It's like, she totally
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: falls in love with this like image of him that
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: she sees on the app. but then of course she
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: spends like two weeks like talking to him and this
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: is one of the times i immediately start to call
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: bullshit because like they never video chat do you know
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: anybody in the again this came out in 2021 do
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: you know anybody who does like i'm the weirdo that
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to do video chat it still weirds me
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: out i still i'm pretty sure it steals your soul
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: So I don't like it just creeps me out. I
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: don't like it. But everybody I know, like if you're
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: not on Zoom, like Facebook has its own video chat.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Like every app in everybody with a Mac has a
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: built in face, whatever the hell it's called. Like everything
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: is done like that. So she in the span of
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: two weeks of constantly talking to this guy, never video
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: chats with him. That's weird. Yeah.
• 46:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: They start with texting, but then they go to talking
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: on the phone. And I'm like, who the hell talks
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: on the phone? Like, I'm the weirdo that wants to
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: have a phone conversation and everybody else wants to video chat.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's different.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: That seems weird to me. Again, everything feels like it's
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: just out of touch in some strange way. So she
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: goes across the country. She decides, like, he makes some
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: random comment of, oh, I wish you were here for Christmas.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: So she drops everything and flies from Los Angeles to
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Lake Placid.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: To go see this guy. Shows up at his door.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: His parents answer the door. And she's like, oh, this is... Hey,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I know your son. And, like, so the parents are
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: thrilled that, you know, they... Oh, Josh has a girlfriend. Oh,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: this is great. This is so wonderful. So suddenly you're
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: just like, well, why are they surprised that guy, Mr. Toboggan,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: has a girlfriend? So then suddenly Josh comes in and
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: he is... The dorky guy that would never get a
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: girl like that. And not at all the guy in
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: that photo that was on the app.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: So we've been catfished.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: And that's the other thing. So they even use the
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: term catfish. And I'm like, okay. Now, I know it
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: is still a thing that's going on out there. If
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: you watch Dr.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Phil, it is.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: That is one of the more interesting things about what
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: this plot could be. But again... The movie Catfish came
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: out in 2010. This is not a new concept. So
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: once again, they're building this like it's a real hook.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: I can't believe that came out 11 years ago.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: I know. That's the thing. But I started thinking. I
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: was like, well, I know the TV show came out
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: after the movie. And the TV show has been out
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: for a long time. So I went back to check. 2010. Jesus.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: That term has been around. So I'm like, this isn't
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: a new thing. So that's weird that like, it's like,
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: that's the real hook to this. Ha ha. You got catfished.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: And that sucks for me because I love like the
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: food of catfish.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: And so it, it's actually not.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: I mean that the original movie was really interesting that
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I saw several episodes of the show that were really interesting.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Like it is a cool concept. I mean, horrible, but
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: an interesting story is told along the way.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: I appreciate the producers' need to want to bust this out.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: It needs to be done.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Again, it works for what they end up doing with
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: this story, but again, it just feels oddly dated. So
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: the other things that come about, like... I might get
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: back to the plot later. I mostly just want to
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: hit the other problems I have. So one of the
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: main issues from the very beginning when they start texting
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: each other is they're talking about, we got to work
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: in the Christmas theme, so we're talking about Christmas movies. Okay.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Could be this episode right now. They get into the
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: debate whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Hmm. That
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: happened on the internet, like, again, 10 years ago? Like,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: that is, like, that has been thrown out there and
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: settled and we've moved on and we're having other other
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: arguments now. Like we're on to so many other things.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: The T-shirt's been printed.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: It's not even. Yeah, it's not even a thing anymore, really. Yeah.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: So that feels so tired at this point. But in
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: addition to that, I almost the thing that again, being
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: the movie geek, I don't feel like she's a diehard
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: girl and she's the pro diehard girl. So I'm like,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: and that's, it's not that it's a girl thing. I
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: know girls that would totally like Die Hard would be
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: their movie. There are plenty of girls out there that
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: would be that, but I don't get that from her.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: She just seems like such a normal girly girl that
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: like doesn't. fit the I'm into Die Hard mode. She
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: knows who Bruce Willis is because she cried at the
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: end of Armageddon. You can create that as a plot point,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: but you also have to write a character that supports
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: that as being a key plot point in this movie
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: because his go-to is Love Actually. So, of course, we've
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: got the either-or of modern Die Hard versus Love Actually
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Christmas movies.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: Was his debate that that's his favorite Christmas movie or
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: debating the merits of is this his Christmas movie?
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: No, no. His is my go-to Christmas movie is Love Actually.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, okay.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: And hers is Die Hard. And he's like, Die Hard's
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: not a Christmas movie. So that becomes their debate.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: I got you, I got you.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: And now you've seen why it is that title. Love Hard.
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: Love Hard.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Great.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: I need a minute.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: I need to listen to a Joni Mitchell CD is
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: what I need to do. I need to get into
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: my emotional education over that one. So, not only that.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: That, I mean, it's one of those, all right, they
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: get that out of the way at the very beginning. Now, granted,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: they keep kind of coming back to it a little bit.
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, good.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Not enough to really, again, like they actually treat it
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: like it's a big plot point. And eventually it kind
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: of is. Except then they drop it and don't bring
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: it up for a lot of the movie. So I'm like,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: kind of pick one. I'm like, is an important plot
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: point or does it not really matter? And why did
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: you name the movie after this thing, this little contradiction,
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: if it's not really that important? So that's all weird.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: They also get into this debate. Not even a debate.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: They bring it up like it's a hot topic that
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: the lyrics to Baby It's Cold Outside are problematic. Ah, yes. Really? Really?
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Again, I feel like we were on the cutting edge
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: of that there. Because before I ever heard people talking
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: about that, if you go back, we did an entire...
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: It occurred to me all on my own one time.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: I'm listening to the song on the radio and went, wait, what?
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: And it occurred to me. So again, I've been doing
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: this for a thousand years, so we were already doing
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: the show. So that was an episode where... I, uh,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: we had people sitting there and I, I think Lucy
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: was on that episode and I was like, I beforehand,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't tell her it was coming. I've just printed
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: out the lyrics and I went, okay, we're going to
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: play this game. We're going to do the back and forth.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: I'll read mine.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: You read yours, just as.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: Spoken word and see how this feels. We got like
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: one verse in and I was like, okay, I'm done. Like,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: this is creepy. So, That was easily nine or ten
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: years ago.
• 52:35
  Speaker 6: Easily.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: And since then, everybody has gotten on board. So much, though,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: that I've actually read, like, last year or the year before,
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: there was a woman that wrote this piece on how
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: that's not at all what this song is about. And, like,
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: gave this other interpretation that's, like, actually really smart and
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: kind of made me even change some... I mean, to
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: a modern audience, it still feels very creepy.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: But... If you put it in the time period, it
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: has a very different meaning that if people want me
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: to go into, I don't know. I won't ramble on
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: about that. But it's actually kind of a very feminist
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: song if you put it in the time period. So
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: I won't even go into that reference. But the fact
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: that they're having this now. Again, it's 2021 when this
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: movie is released. And they're getting into this hot topic
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: from 10 to 11 years ago. I was just like, really? Now?
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: Would this writer be an AOL subscriber or something like that?
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: See, that's the thing. It almost would make more sense
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: if the writer, because that's one of the next things
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get to is how out of date
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: everything seems. So this, because I brought this up on
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: another episode that I'll get back to in a minute.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: But when she's later jumping ahead a little bit, she
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: finds the real guy that was in those photos. This
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: guy knows. So he's in the town with him. So
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: that's who she's interested in as we get into this.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: So she's going to... She goes to this bar. The
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: guy happens to be there. And she's like, oh, I
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: know how I'll win him over. They're doing karaoke. So
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do my sexy girl karaoke song move.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: The song she chooses is I'd do anything for love,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: but I won't do that.
• 54:16
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Okay. I love me some meatloaf. Don't get me wrong.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: No knock on the song. But again, I'm in storytelling mode.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, it's not a current song now.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: No.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: It would be a go-to song for some people. But
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: then I'm like, okay, if the character in this movie
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: is the same age essentially as the actress. Yeah. I
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: did the math. The actress would have been four when
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: this song came out.
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was in high school when that song came out.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I looked at her age. She would have been
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: four years old when this was on the radio. This
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be her go-to song that she grew up with. Now,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying you can't like a song that's not
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: from your era. I mean, we see Lady Gaga doing
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: old-timey songs all the time now. Sure. She hangs out
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: with Tony Bennett. That's what she does. Yeah. So, like,
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: you can have taste for things that are older. This
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: just seems like a weird move. Like, again, it feels
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: like a writing mishap that it feels like a writer
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: would have been like, oh, yeah, that would be my song.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to write that in this. But I looked up,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: the writer's not that old either. The writer's only, like,
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: six or eight years older than she is. So, I'm like...
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: This just doesn't make any sense. Like, it doesn't... Why?
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: Why would you pick that song? So this leads to
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: a bigger question that I kind of want to get to.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: It's like, are we... Are we losing that? That, like, nothing...
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: Because we kind of grew up at that era where
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: everything was still set into this is what you're into
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: because this was the time period. And everything was sort
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: of delivered to you at that time. Like, this is,
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: you know, the 70s and you like these kind of songs.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: Or even earlier than that, the 50s. You know, you're
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: a teenager and you bought these records. Sure. This is
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: what you listen to and this is what they played
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: on the radio. So these are the songs that you
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: remember from that era and you grew up with and whatever.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: And same thing. It's about the 70s. 80s you at
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: least start to get kids that are branching out and
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: there's maybe some underground kids that are like into punk
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: or metal and they have tapes that they pass around
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: and like maybe there's stuff off the beaten path off
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: the top 40 that they're getting into but still i
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: feel like it's the same handful of stuff yeah that
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: like if you pulled those 10 you know those kids
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: of their top 10 songs five of them would be
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: the same across the board like there's just random ones
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: that get mixed in here and there but still those
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: kids were kind of all pulling from the same pool
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: more or less So now that we've gotten into these
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: last couple of generations of kids that don't have anything anymore.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Who pays attention to pop radio? There's no MTV. Once
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: the 80s kids came along, that fueled everything for you.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: That's not a real thing anymore. Certainly not the way
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: it used to be. So have we gotten out of that?
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: Is there no attachment to any specific... thing anymore because
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: every kid just sort of makes their rules up as
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: they go. Like, I'm into this, I'm into that. Have
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: we lost that era of, like, you're into this because
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: you grew up then? I don't know.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: I think you've still got artists, contemporary artists, like, you know,
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: your Post Malones or your Billie Eilishes or whatnot that
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: are of the now. They are young people. You know,
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: it's like Adele almost has gotten to the point now
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: where Adele is seen as an older artist.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, she's like the new Celine Dion.
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: Like, she is.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: the top of the diva game now.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: And it's messed up because her new album is 30.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: She's pretty old. I mean, she's getting up there. 30.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: That is over the hill.
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: But it's like, it's like we, we forgotten our pop
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: divas of the two thousands eras. Like Britney Spears isn't
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: an artist anymore. She's a victim.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: You know, she's a movement.
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: So it's, We don't think of her as a musician anymore.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: We don't think of Christina Aguilera as a singer. We
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: think of her as a judge. So it's stuff like that.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: But yeah, there's a definite impermanence when it comes to
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: musical trends because what's hot tomorrow will not be hot
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: on Friday.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. I mean that I think has changed so
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: much too. I think number one, we don't have these
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: things being We don't have the gatekeepers we used to,
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: so we don't have only a handful of things being
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: offered to us.
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, everything changes. Like, the way
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: it was, you know, as we were talking about, you know,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: episodes back, 1982, like, when E.T. 's riding high, it
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: rode on the top of the movie charts for a year. Like,
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: it was in theaters for a year. Yep. Whereas now,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: movies come and two weeks later, they're out of the theater.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: And two weeks after that, you're renting it on a
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: Blu-ray somewhere. Or you're just streaming it at your house
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: from the get-go sometimes. Yeah, you don't even have a
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: physical copy. Yeah, it's like you don't have that time
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: period like you used to have. But also, you don't
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: have people specifically... feel like they're still giving things out
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: but before you only had these set options like like
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: we were talking about like 82 like these are the
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: movies we're offering you this is it these are the
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: new films coming out versus now like kids Growing up,
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: have every streaming app imaginable. Everything is on YouTube at
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: this point. And that's if they want anything mainstream. There's
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: also a million under-the-radar things that they're paying attention to
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: that they're watching on some god-awful app that I don't
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: have because I'm an old man. So, yeah, I mean,
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: they're watching other things that aren't even pre-programmed media now.
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: Basically, you can process in some way, shape, or form
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: pop culture from at least the last hundred years. I
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: talked to a young kid who was like, I was
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: looking into silent films because he found a bunch of
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: silent films on YouTube. Or there's some Buster Keaton stuff
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: that's on HBO Max because they've got a lot of
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: the AMC, the Turner Classic stuff on there. So it's like.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: It was blowing my mind. I'm like, dude, I haven't
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: even watched some of that stuff. And it was old
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: for me when I was a little kid.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: And that's what I'm thinking is happening now. So I
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: don't know that that's what's going on in this movie.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's just sloppy writing.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Totally, yeah.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: But it did make me come to that. Because I
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: said that with whatever the... Oh, the babysitter movies that
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: we watched. The second one in particular. We were talking
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: about all of the songs, not just in the soundtrack,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: but that the kids are listening to are late 80s
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: and into the 90s.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: And I'm like.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: That's the director's time period. So, like, he's picking stuff
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: that he thinks is cool and then giving it to
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: these kids like they would be listening to that now.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, they wouldn't want anything to do with
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: your old man stuff, like, unless it fascinated them and
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: they got into it all on their own. But here's
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: the thing is that the kids are fascinated.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: Like, there is this– I mean, it's been going for
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: quite some time, but it has no signs of stopping–
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: There is an 80s and now a 90s wave of
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: nostalgia that is just deafening. You're seeing it everywhere. You're
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: seeing it in music. You're seeing it in movies. You're
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: seeing it in comics. In every way, shape, and form,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: there is some level of nostalgia because today there's nothing
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: really to hold on to. And we want to go
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: to easier times.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: And I think that is the difference, though, is because
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: of the freedom of the technology now. Because... I think of.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: The shit we've been in the last five years, too.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: Kids have been like that. You know, I listened to
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: older bands when I got to that era. I was
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: just like, I was listening to stuff from the late 60s,
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: trying to decide, do I like this? Do I like this? Like,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: every kid kind of hits that point. Same thing with movies.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: I was watching old black and white movies when other
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: kids were only watching what was new out there. I
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: was the weird kid watching other stuff. So that happens.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: But again, it's like it was such a controlled thing
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: of like, especially back then, there was only so much
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: I could find. There was only so much I had
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: access to of any of that stuff. Versus now, kids
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: can do whatever. Like you can find anything at any
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: point in time. And you don't, you also used to
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: worry about like, oh, I'm into this thing. I'm into
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: this scene or whatever. Kids got into a little specific
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: group and they worried about what their friends thought. I
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: don't think anybody gives a shit now. Like kids just
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: seem to pick what they like. And, like, that's it. Like,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: they just don't seem to be worried. I mean, there's
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: still plenty of kids out there being treated like shit
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: by other kids.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, sure.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: That never goes away. But I don't think it's the
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: organized version of it that it was even, you know, 20,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: 30 years ago.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's kids definitely finding old material with zero frame
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: of reference. They're finding it on their own. If they
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: want to research it further, if they just want to
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: just view it as is, there you go. But, yeah,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: of course, I mean– As we all know, there's always
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: waves of nostalgia when there are times of trouble in
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: the world. I mean, just look at the last five years.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: We're nothing but trouble at this point. No matter what
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: side of.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: The realm you fall under on the political side, the
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: last five years has been a time of great turmoil.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: There's been a lot going on.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: Just in political divide, you see it on social media. Then,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 3: of course, you've got racial injustice going on in the country.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: Then there's a fucking worldwide pandemic with thousands of people dying.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: This world is great.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: So, you know what? It's zero surprise to me that
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: we're diving into anything we can find that makes us happy.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: So, but yeah, going back to Love Hard, that's just
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: fucking sloppy. Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, that was my, it made me, and I knew,
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, and I'm going to have to put
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: a pin in my discussion and go off on this
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: weird tangent about what the hell's going on with like
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: society and our involvement in movies and music and all
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: of this and how kids relate to it. And then
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: I'll come back and be like, but I don't think
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: this is what's going on here. It just seems like
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: it makes no sense.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: This is Aunt Sandy directed a film and she is
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: way out of touch.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: Well, again, one of the writers I couldn't even find
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: anything on. This was their only credit. And then the
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: other one, the other guy had written other stuff, but
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: he was like slightly older than her. So he's maybe
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: like late 30s.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, so that's where the meatloaf song came from.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: But he still, he would have been like eight. He
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: might have barely remembered it. So, like, I don't know.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: That was just a weird choice.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: From all angles.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: Keep in mind, not to spoil anything, but her face
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: has ballooned up into a mutant form at this point.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: She has an allergic reaction. See, here's the other thing.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: It's always... Oh, so we're now copying Hitch.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: It's now really funny if you have some sort of
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: goofy thing happen to you or you're clumsy or you're
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: accident prone. This is what makes you adorable in a
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: romantic comedy. So this one, she has a horrible allergic
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: reaction and when she's trying to be sexy, she also
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: looks like a mutant. So... Yeah.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So we have Completely mismatched nostalgia, out-of-date references, and
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: we're making references to far better films.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: So much so, that's where I was going to be going.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: By the end of this movie, they do essentially a
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: redone scene from another Christmas movie.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: Uh-oh.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: So, again, putting a pin in this, at what point...
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: Is it no longer a homage to another movie that
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: you like and you're making reference to in your movie,
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: and you're just ripping off another movie? Because the finale
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: of this movie steals a scene directly from another Christmas movie.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: Would that be Love Actually?
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: It is. At least that makes sense. There's only one
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: scene that anybody remembers in Love Actually, and it's that one.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: And they just exactly steal the... gimmick of it, more
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: or less. They do it in a better way because that's,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: to me, the most troublesome part of Love Actually. I
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: don't love that movie overall, but that one, that storyline
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: is really bad. It is really unnerving as you watch
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: these things unfold.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's break that particular storyline down for a minute.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: An extra pin, hold on.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: Extra pinner. So we've got a guy who has a
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: very close friend, and this close friend meets a lovely woman.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: Decides they're going to get married. So friend here is like,
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: I'm fully supportive of this. I'm going to be your
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: best man. I'm going to shoot your wedding for you.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: Except I'm kind of going to be a jerk to
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: your girlfriend most of the time.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: Because I'm actually in love with her.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Because I'm secretly in love with her.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: Because I'm also 12. And that's what you do. Exactly.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: When you like a girl, you punch her in the face.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: But then on top of that, you don't. I don't know,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: be a grown-up and get over it and realize, dude,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: get your friend's girlfriend. You can't date her.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: Now wife. Yeah, now wife.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: You can't be with her, grow up, deal with it,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: move on, and go date somebody else.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: So you're an adolescent. You're rest in development, basically. You're
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: a toxic friend, and now you're a fucking homewrecker.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just a horrible friend by the end of this,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like... I don't know what you're doing.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: Andrew Lincoln deserved to go be thrown into a zombie
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: apocalypse after this shit.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: This is why you have to kill zombies for the
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: rest of your existence. Because you're a terrible friend.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: Jesus.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: So, that scene. that's the one they choose to do
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: now at least again they're not doing it for those
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: wrong reasons so it's actually better used in this movie
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: okay but to me i still feel like you're stealing
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: a scene from somebody else's movie.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: Probably because they couldn't work in a proper diehard reference
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: i guess like maybe he could have given her a
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: rolex as a gift or something you know And then
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: the Rolex would have been ripped off her wrist or something.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: They do work in a yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: And it's the only use of any bad words in
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: this movie. It is odd that they chose to throw
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: that in there.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Did that give a PG-13 rating?
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Well, again, I think it's streaming, and I don't even
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: know if it gets a real rating.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: But in its things, it's just... One of the ones
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: I watched, the main thing it listed as its bad
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: thing was smoking.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, smoking is in a different realm
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: than it used to be. It used to be nothing
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: but cool people smoke. Now it's problematic when characters smoke.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: It's always disappointing to me now. Sometimes if you're still
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: watching a movie on cable and they give a rating
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: to the movie and they tell you why it's in there.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: So you get the adult situations or language or violence.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: And then the S would pop up. Oh, it used
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: to stand for sex. Now that S can stand for smoking. Smoking.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: That's what you do after the sex. In the old movies,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: that's how it went.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: But we don't even get to see.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: The sex anymore.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: We just go straight to the smoking.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. We get nothing out of this
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: movie at all.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: Like, it is.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Which, I mean, I don't need that. I like that
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: it's very, like, PG, you know? It's like they become friends,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: you know? Like, that is... Like, I don't hate this movie,
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: but it's like there's so many problems along the way.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: So it is interesting that, like, it does have two reasonably...
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: likable characters but she continues to make terrible like he
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: starts off making a terrible decision but after that you
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: realize he was being genuine he was being who he
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: was he just didn't offer up a real photo but
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: other than that he genuinely liked her and was being
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: himself he was being genuine on us aside from the
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: fact he was lying about his identity and his appearance
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: sure but in all our conversations he was being himself
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: now again we switch to her and She gets there,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: and he's like, okay, his parents are so excited that
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: he has a girlfriend. So he's like, look, I'm sorry.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done that, but I'll make you a deal.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: He's like, that guy lives here in town. I used
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: to be friends with him. I know him pretty well.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: I'll set you up with him if you go along
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: with this little charade while we're in town. This is
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: the most rom-com setup ever.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: Go along with the charade, convince my family that we're
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: together for a couple of weeks just to make them happy.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: We'll stage a breakup down the line. In the meantime,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: I'll set you up with this guy and you'll have
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: your dream boat, man. So that's the whole plan. So
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: we get into this, back to the sort of storyline
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: of this, but every step of the way, she finds
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: out this guy isn't really the same kind... Like, she's
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: not really compatible with him at all, but keeps making
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: up more and more stuff to seem like... that she's
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: the kind of girl he would like. So he's into
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: rock climbing. So she pretends to be into rock climbing.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: And that is maybe one of the most genuine laughs
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: of the movie. You cut to her and she is
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: screaming on the side of a wall. And then you
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: pull back to a further away shot and she is
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: like a foot off the ground. And I was like, okay,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: that's actually funny.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: Because, yeah.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: So again, she's a very girly girl in many parts,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: which also doesn't balance with the diehard thing.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 6: But.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: Then you get into she, like, he, she's a vegetarian.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: He's a big meat eater. His parents own a steak place.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: So that's where they go. So she pretends to not
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: have a problem with all the dead animals around her.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: She then, what else? She pretends to be into something else. Like,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: as it goes on, she continually lies to this guy
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: about who she is, essentially. Yeah. doing the exact same
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: thing that the guy did at the beginning. So by
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: the end, they're both terrible. But at least you kind
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: of like the guy, where she continues to make these
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: horrible decisions throughout the movie, and you're just like, what
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: are you doing? So... Rom-coms. God. So that was my
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: first entry. My second, um, I went with the, what, again,
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: what I felt was a classic of this new genre
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: only because I've heard so much about it. And here's
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: another thing that gets me. It's the only times I've
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: really gotten into anything rom-com. I don't really seek them
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: out normally, but anytime I get suckered in for the lead,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: if there's many, uh, uh, actress that I'll have a
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: soft spot for. And, um, Yep, that's how I got
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: suckered into this one. Because I watched A Christmas Prince.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: Not the Christmas Prince. Not any old Christmas Prince. He's
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: A Christmas Prince. I put it in. I couldn't find
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: it the other way. You have to get the uh
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: in there. So, A Christmas Prince came out in 2017.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: And it does have Rose MacGyver as our lead. And
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: I am a sucker for some Rose MacGyver. But the reason,
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. I didn't pay attention to rom-coms or
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: dumb Christmas movies when these things first started. So I
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: didn't know anything about this movie until I went to
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: several years ago when I did the Dragon Con thing
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: and got to get involved in the press conference thing
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: for Rose MacGyver. So I'm there with a bunch of
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: zombie questions, like a normal person would be, or me.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: And in the middle of it, this other guy's like,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: can you tell us about A Christmas Friends? He's like,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: all my friends are obsessed with this movie. And she's like, yeah.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: I know. Like she's like, I didn't, I just took this.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: It was a job. And like the next thing I knew,
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: like people are watching it like around the clock for
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: the entirety of the Christmas season. Like she's like, there's,
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: they were somebody that watched them like 30 times in
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: a row or something and was posting online. Like it
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: was stuff like that. Like people were obsessed with this movie.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: And I was like, that was the first I heard
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: of it. Like I'm sitting there like, can we brains?
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: I had dumb zombie questions. So other people were more
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: interested in this movie. So I was like, all right,
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: I need to at least experience. And that's the other thing.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: By the time I was there, they had already done
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: the second one. And by now it's a trilogy. So
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they're going to come back for
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: a quadrology. But there's at least three of these movies
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: out there in this series. Hmm. So.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know this existed.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing. It's definitely the best movie. Well, again,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: of these two, these two were at least similar style.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: The third one's its own weird thing. But of these two,
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: this one is like perfectly watchable. Like it is exactly what,
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: and this is why I'm like, this is what people want.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: And I think that's sort of why this thing took off.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: It's like, as long as you check all the boxes,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: normal people are happy. Like they just, I want the
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: couple to get together in the end. I want a warm,
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: fuzzy Christmas feeling. If you give them what they want,
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: they'll like your movie. And that's the thing. They don't
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: really go outside of the box anywhere in this story.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: It's like it tells a very standard kind of like
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: between some sort of like political story about a weird
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: prince situation. Like I've seen like your Princess Diaries kind
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: of thing does the same things. So it's that sort
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: of thing mixed with a very old school fairy tale story.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: So much so, in the middle of it, she's out
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: in the woods. She doesn't know how to ride a horse,
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: so she gets knocked off the horse and loses the horse,
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: is lost in the woods, and wolves are coming. There's
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: like a wolf that comes up on her. And then
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: the beast, I mean, our lead, comes and saves her.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, this is Beauty
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: and the Beast. This is exactly... Once again, I'm like,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: what is the dividing line from homage of, like, look,
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: we're really into fairy tales. I'm going to make this
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: scene kind of like a fairy tale versus how close
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: do we get here?
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 3: Straight up stole the scene.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: But it's minimal. It's just a few seconds there. So, like,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: I'll let it slide. Otherwise, like, everything about this is
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: just likable. And I think it helps because it's Rose McGyver. Like,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: she is... just genuinely a likable character i'm also like
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: on freaking ghost every week now yeah i was telling
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: the other guys about i was like have you guys
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: seen ghosts because it's for a network show like it's
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: pretty damn funny and pretty well written and again is
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: carried by how likable rose mcgyver.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 3: Is so it's interesting that she kind of goes i
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: mean you know she's You know, spent, what, five seasons
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: on iZombie.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: One horror subgenre to another. Yeah.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen the show, but I've seen the trailers
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 3: for it. I was like, this looks really, you know.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: It's fun.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: It looks clever.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 3: And the thing that always strikes me, though, is, of course, like,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 3: I'm used to seeing Rose MacGyver with flat hair and
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 3: pale skin. And so seeing her in her natural hair
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 3: color and flesh tone is always jarring to me.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 3: Always kind of like. You have to do a double take. Oh, no, no,
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: that's Rose MacGyver. Okay.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: I had to come back around because I got so
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: used to her that way. And I'm like, is it
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: weird that I think she's more attractive when she's a zombie?
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: And then I've come back and I see her in
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: other stuff. And I'm like, okay, no, I like her
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: either way. But for the longest time, that's the only
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: way I saw her. So I was just like, this
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: is how I know Rose MacGyver. And I think she's
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: very attractive as a dead girl. So now she's alive
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: and she can see ghosts and or hangs out with
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: this prince guy. So... Again, this is where it's funny
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: that I'm watching these two back to back more or
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: less because guess what she does for a living?
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 3: What's that?
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: She's a journalist.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 3: Oh my God.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: So my takeaway is that girls, they really love journalism
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: and they just want to get a good story in
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: this print media that's taken over the world or not.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Once again, it seemed like this was
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: maybe some sort of online thing, but But they have
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: this huge office that I'm like, what online company runs
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: like a magazine? I don't like again. And by the end,
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: she's writing a blog. And I was like, what year
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: is this? Even in 2017, blogs were sold. Yeah.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 3: I mean, basically people's Facebook is their blog.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah. Like a blog.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. That stuff is kind of strange.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: But other than that, like it's. As it goes on,
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: it's actually an interesting little family dynamic story about this
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: family in what is not at all England. I don't know.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: It's a fictional country, but it sure seems like they're
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: all British to me. And the mom is, as soon
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: as I saw the name pop up, it's the only
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: thing I ever know her from. I'm like, ooh, the
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: Borg Queen? Whatever that lady's name is.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 3: Alice Krieg?
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: Yep, there you go. She's the queen. I remember her
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: from Sleepwalkers. Yeah, that's right. I forget. Every time I
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: see the name, that's the only thing I associate it with.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh. oh yeah, the Borg Queen. Because
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: she is pretty badass as the Borg Queen. She is, yes. So... Yeah,
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: she's the queen. The son eventually is rather likable, and
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: you get why he's the handsome lead. He does all
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: the normal stuff. Again, it doesn't have extra levels of
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: conflict that I feel like you would have in a
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: normal rom-com, like in a theatrical rom-com. Because I think
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: this was Netflix made, if I remember. It seems just
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: more simplified. Because there's a little sister that she... Goes
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: there and she's supposed to be covering the event. And,
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: of course, they, like, send away all the reporters. But
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: she's the cool reporter because she hangs around and sneaks
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: back into the castle. Which they do have a nice castle,
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: I will say. They get some nice shots of the exterior.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: But then mistaken identity comes about. That never happens in
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: a rom-com. Of course. And they think she's the tutor
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: to teach the younger sister of the brother. who is
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: a bratty kid but within one scene she likes her
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: and then becomes her best friend so like and which
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: kind of saves it because i feel like we would
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: have hated that kid if she was a jerk so
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: like she very quickly becomes like a likable character again
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: and from that point on all of our main leads
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: are likable and like everything about this is just a
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: watchable likable good time for the most part so again
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: i think this is why people come to these like
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: they don't want all this other extra baggage. Like, I
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: want a nice story about this girl that I like,
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: and I want her to get the guy, and the
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: little sister's her friend, and, like, everything. There's a cousin
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: that wants to steal the throne. That's our only, like... Antagonist.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: There's an ex-girlfriend who's also trying to move her way
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: in and become a queen. So those are our, like,
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: villain-type characters. But again, they're pretty lame as villains go,
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: and pretty minimal, and can be dealt with.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: They're mostly just catty. Yeah, definitely.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: So... That's pretty much how it comes together. What's funny
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: is even the gimmick that they have with this one,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: because in the introduction, when she gets there, is things
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: are going to get destroyed. It seems like that's the
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: running gag, because immediately she smashes a Ming Vaz. Of
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: course it's a Ming Vaz, because that's the only one
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: anybody knows the name of, so it's got to be
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: a Ming Vaz. Then she's like playing with a bow
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: and arrow and shoots a fine work of art. And like,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: so I thought at least we're going to have this
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: running theme, but then once the romance starts, all that
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: goes away. I'm like, Why introduce that if you're not
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: going to follow through with it? Either just make her
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: a competent person or make that who she is and
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: make her continue to be a bumbling weirdo.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 3: I want to see the bumbling weirdo where it's like
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: we're having our wedding day and she sets her own
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: wedding dress on fire at the altar. I want to
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 3: see that.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: That's the thing. I think if this were a big
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: studio movie, I think, again, if you go back 10 years,
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: this would have been Sandra Bullock. And Sandra Bullock would
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: have consistently continued to be bumbling throughout the movie. And
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: I would have loved her as well because it's Sandra Bullock.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: But they kind of forget that. That was the part
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: I thought was odd. And I feel like maybe just
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: because they're trying to like, whatever, let's focus on this
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: romance and wrap this thing up. We got two more
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: movies to make. So it's my favorite of these type,
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: I guess. Again, it's not pushing the boundaries, but. it's
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: got likable characters and Rose is pretty awesome in it.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: So there you go. There you go. That's, that's Christmas. Oh,
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: did I mention it happens at Christmas? That's the other
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: thing you realize in watching these is sometimes they just
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: have to set it at Christmas to make it a
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: Christmas movie. Cause that story could have happened at any time,
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: but throughout the thing, like they set it up at
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: it's Christmas time in New York. When she starts this story,
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: And then he has to be sworn in, more or less,
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: as king by Christmas Day. So that's our timeline of
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: making this a Christmas story.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 3: And see, that's where my argument comes in for arguing
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 3: your diehards, your lethal weapons, your gremlins.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: Are these Christmas movies? Because what does constitute one? And
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 1: this is where, in putting together these episodes, I did
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: start going online to see, like, I know there's a million...
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: Anything on the Internet is nothing but a million lists.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: So this is going to be something I'm sure I'm
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: not going to have any problem finding. And there are
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: 10 billion people of like the 20 best Christmas movies,
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: the weird Christmas movie, all of these other things. So
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: I saw one that was like a video presentation of
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: like their top 20 Christmas movies. But they specifically state
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: at the beginning of this that they threw out ones
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: that are just. taking place around christmas it has to
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 1: be christmas themed and christmas plays you know part of
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: the story for it to be you know one that
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: they're going to include in this list so they immediately
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: threw out die hard yeah their top movie number one
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: and i'm not gonna argue the film but their number
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: one movie was it's a wonderful life okay i put
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: that in the same boat as die hard It doesn't
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: have to be about Christmas. It wraps up at Christmas. Hey,
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: guess what? So does Die Hard. We spend a good
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: amount of that movie not at Christmas. We start as
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: him as a kid. We see them coming together as
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: a couple. We watch them grow up. We see a
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: freaking angel. All of this other stuff that has nothing
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: to do with Christmas, it's a brilliant movie i love
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: that movie but if you're gonna throw out die hard
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: i don't think you get to claim it's a wonderful
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: life that's my stance and that's true.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 3: It always kind of confused me too because okay it's
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: obviously it's a movie is set around christmas time but
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 3: at the end they sing old angela's eye which is
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 3: it's definitely a new year's song so it's what yeah
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: so yeah but uh I mean.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: I'm fine with like whatever you like. I don't care.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: If you don't want to watch Die Hard December, then don't.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: I don't care. If you want to watch It's a
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: Wonderful Life in July, go for it too. But if
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: you're going to make all these dumb rules, don't make
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: them and then not even follow your own rules. So
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: I called bullshit on that. They put that as their
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: number one on that list that they immediately threw out
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: Die Hard. I was like, it can be number one
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: because it's a great movie, but if you're making these
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: dumb rules, you have to disqualify it.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's the thing. If a movie is set
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 3: at Christmas, and it's obviously set at Christmas, we see decorations,
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 3: we see some sort of celebration, we hear Christmas music,
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 3: maybe even we see excerpts of a Christmas movie on
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 3: TV or something. Something familiar, like Charlie Brown.
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: Giving presents. Yeah, it's like any of this. Something along
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: those lines. So Die Hard hits every single one of
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: those criteria. As does Lethal Weapon. Yes! They drive through
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: somebody's house and the Christmas tree gets plowed through. And
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: then Mel Gibson gets into a knockdown drag out with
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: Gary Busey. So it's like, what says the holidays more
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: than that?
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 6: Yep.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 1: Again I don't nitpick about it I'm like I watch
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: whatever the hell I want to watch I don't care
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: But it's funny that it's become such an ordeal And
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like well you guys are making up rules But
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: like you have to follow through Then if you start
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: coming up with these And I think the.
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 3: Ultimate dividing line Is cutesy If your mom and your
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 3: grandma Thinks this movie is cute It's a Christmas movie It's.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 1: A Christmas movie If it's got two white people Standing
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: in front of a Christmas tree It's at Christmas.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 3: But if one person gets shot in the movie, suddenly.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: It's not Christmas. It's a horrible drama.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 3: Because no one ever gets murdered at Christmas time.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: Which leads me to my final movie. So, this one was,
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out what else to round
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: it out with. And, um... Again, this was the other
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: random one. Because I was going to pick another. I
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: might have done the Princess Switch or whatever that other
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: one was. But I was like, eh, I feel like
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: that's going to be pretty similar to this last one
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: I just watched. So let me see if I can
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: find something else. So I randomly picked El Camino Christmas.
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: Are you familiar with this? Because I was not. But then,
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. This is also 2017, oddly enough.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 6: But....
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: This Christmas movie that I've never heard of. Let me
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: go down the cast list here.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't, again, I blindly picked it. So I
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 1: didn't even know until they start showing characters who's in it.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: And like the first person, I'm like, is that Kurtwood Smith?
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: Kurtwood Smith.
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: Followed by Dax Shepard. Luke Grimes. We get Vincent D'Onofrio. Okay.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: We get Jessica Alba. We get Tim Allen. And then
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: the odd thing is a minor role is like a
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: cameraman that's following the news crew around, Jimmy O. Yang,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: from my first movie. The lead of my first movie
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: is a bit character in my third movie, both picked
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: completely at random. So figure that out.
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 3: All right. I can't say I've ever heard of this one.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: I had not heard of it either, but it's definitely interesting.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: It's one that I... It's... It's very unconventional Christmas because
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: it's also like it it almost changes what it is
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: midway in. It seems like it's sometimes you just have
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: a movie that like we've got some dumb characters and
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: we're going to show off how dumb they are for
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: an hour and a half. It feels like it's that
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: when it starts like and don't get me wrong. I
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: like Doc Shepard, but he can play dumb real good.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, sure.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So like he's playing dumb guy pretty good in
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: the beginning of this. Kerwin Smith is like gloriously annoyed.
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: Like he delivers a line midway into this movie that
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: I swear would sound so at home coming out of
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: Jackie Gleason's mouth. As he's talking to his dumb son. Like,
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: he says it, and I'm just like, oh, I heard it. Like,
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: he just said it in the middle of the bandit. He's, like,
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: delivering these horrible lines to his son. He gives us
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: one of those. Like, it's that level of... Because he
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: is a cop. So it's like he is the annoyed
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: cop surrounded by an idiot and some other random idiots.
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: Or Vincent D'Onofrio, who is just a big, sloppy mess. Like,
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: he is just... He's another, like, it's mostly these, like,
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: guys that are working around the sheriff's department, and the
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: town is El Camino. So it's not the vehicle, it's
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: the town is El Camino in Nevada, I believe. And
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: they're just, it's a couple of days before Christmas, and
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: this story takes place then. And you've got this guy
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: that kind of rolls into town, nobody knows who he is,
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: and he ends up looking for his father, who... Had, like,
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: taken off on him pretty much when he was born.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: And this is the only letter he'd gotten, his mom
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: had gotten. He'd just found it once his mom passed away.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: So he's trying to go track down his dad. So
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: he's hanging out in this town and, like, immediately... Vincent
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: D'Onofrio just has a problem with him. Like, he's just annoyed.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: He's also drunk and a sloppy, corrupt cop. So, like,
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 1: he's just... But he's singing a weird We Got Married
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: in Walmart song that I thought he was making up
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: the lyrics to, but later they play the song and
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: it's legitimately a song.
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 3: It's a real song. Oh, my God.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: So, that's weird. Yeah, it's just... It starts off like
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: it wants to be a goofy, like, a bunch of
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: idiots comedy, and then... Oddly enough, like, we catch up with,
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 1: and I guess we didn't get to in our previous episode,
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: you know, Tim Allen as the Santa Claus is maybe
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: one of his more useful roles. Like, I'm not a
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: huge Tim Allen fan.
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 3: No, but anyway.
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: So, like, he's questionable in a lot of his really
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: bad comedies. In this, he is a washed up, massively alcoholic...
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: doing drugs, and we later find out is a pretty
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: messed up Vietnam vet. So when we hit that point, like,
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: first of all, it's a performance that's not normal from
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: Tim Allen. He's still selling it kind of silly in
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: the beginning, but it's just sad more than anything. And
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: then once you get into it, by the end, like,
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: it's a legitimately dramatic turn. Like, he has a couple
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: of scenes that I'm like, oh... I forget Tim Allen
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: can kind of act when need be. Usually I think
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: he's just good as Buzz, but that's his most functional
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: thing he's ever given.
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 3: Galaxy Quest.
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: See, I'm not as big on that as most people.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. See, I will further.
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's, it's fine, but I just don't love
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: it the way a lot of people do. I'd rather
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 1: just watch Toy Story basically. But, but yeah, watching him here,
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: like he gets to a point where I'm like, and
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: he's almost playing with that persona of like, we're used
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: to him being funny and like, He's just so sad
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: and so far gone at this point in his life that, like,
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: you see him just kind of like, what the hell
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: else do I have to offer anybody? And, like, it's
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: a pretty dramatic turn by the end of this. And
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: the whole end of it becomes, like, a hostage situation
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 1: and a shootout. And this is all going on on, like,
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. So, like... It's an interesting mixture of things
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: and not what I would expect from a Christmas movie,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: but it's definitely a Christmas movie. Wow. I mean, we
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: even get, like, again, these are sort of minor things
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: that they sneak in there from, like, the screenwriting angle,
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: but there's definitely, like, a nativity scene little moment that
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: comes up by the end of the night. There's definitely
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: a Tiny Tim moment that totally happens by the end
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: of this movie. Yeah. It's an interesting mixture of things
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: in the desert with pissed off Kirtwood Smith, which is
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: maybe the most entertaining part.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love Kirtwood. I'm a big 70s show fan. Robocop,
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 3: of course.
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 5: I mean, come on.
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: That's one of the funnier moments. It's Tim Allen in
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: there and there's people firing out there, one of which
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 1: is Kerwood Smith. And he's like, you better get back
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: over here. Robocop's going to shoot you. So he makes
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: a Robocop reference in the middle of this. So I
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: was like, all right, that's cute. So I like that.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 6: But.
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely wraps up a little different than you
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: might expect going into this movie. It doesn't feel quite
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: as wacky comedy-wise, but it's solid. Even the acting is
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: pretty good all the way through from the whole cast.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: Not what I expected going in. Definitely not my rom-coms
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: that the other two were, so I didn't have to
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: worry about that. But yeah, an unconventional Christmas movie, but
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: not a bad one.
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and before we wrap things up, one movie I
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 3: forgot I was going to mention is a forgotten, unconventional
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 3: Christmas movie that is actually a fine film and has
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 3: some historical significance.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 6: Uh-oh.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 3: A Midnight Clear.
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: That's one I remember hearing about way back when it first, like,
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: got released on video. Mm-hmm. And I heard decent things
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: and just haven't gotten around to. But that's a, like,
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: isn't it World War I?
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 3: World War II.
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: Is it World War II?
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 3: Okay. Basically, it's... it's got a, it came out in
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 3: the early nineties. It's got a very young cat. It basically,
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 3: it has about half of the cast of, um, uh,
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 3: dead poet society. Cause like Ethan Hawke's the lead. Frank
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 3: Whaley's in it. Yeah. You know, um, I think it
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 3: was like, like Kevin Dillon, I believe is in when
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 3: people actually still cared about Kevin Dillon as an actor.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: Uh, sorry. Before Entourage.
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 3: Before Entourage. Sorry, Kevin.
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: Back when he was cool and in the blob.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 3: That's right, buddy. Um, But yeah, it's an actual event
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 3: that happened during World War II. I think it was
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 3: in the Ardennes area where basically you had Nazi soldiers,
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 3: you had Allied soldiers, and they were kind of both
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 3: cut off from their areas. Short on rations, the weather
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 3: was getting bad, and so they both kind of end
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 3: up just holing up in a cabin. Both these small
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 3: platoons are... On opposing sides of a war that have
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 3: killed thousands of people are now stuck in this small
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 3: cabin getting snowed in, and it's Christmas Eve.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 3: And it's literally kind of like they actually don't kill
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 3: each other. They're like, the war literally... So it's technically
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 3: a war film. There are war scenes in the movie,
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 3: but there's a lot of it that takes place in
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 3: this cabin that deals with these guys... Or on opposing sides.
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: Trying to celebrate Christmas. Trying to celebrate Christmas, trying to
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: stay alive, but also on two opposite sides of a
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: war they really don't have anything to deal with.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, that's what you always kind of realize
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: with any war, but definitely those, like, the dumb kids
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: that are out there fighting aren't really any different from
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 1: each other. It's like, we make up the reasons we're
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: pissed at each other as countries, but, like, from one
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: kid to another, they're the same scared kid sitting in
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: a foxhole somewhere.
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 3: Totally.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: So that's, yeah, you can definitely, there's a lot to
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: do and a lot to mine out of that territory.
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 3: But it's definitely a film that's, you know, it's worth
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 3: its merit, but it gets forgotten. Most of the time
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 3: it gets kind of lopped in with the war films
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 3: and stuff like that.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's, I don't think I knew that much about
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: the Christmas angle. I definitely knew it was a war movie.
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is definitely, I mean, it's, that's kind
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 3: of the main focus is that basically what kind of
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 3: stops everything is that they realize, oh, it's Christmas Eve
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 3: and we're all kind of snowed in this little cabin. Hey,
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 3: let's have a cozy little fire and sing some Christmas carols,
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 3: you know? but it is an event that actually did
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 3: happen in world war two.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 5: So there you go.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 1: Well, is there anything else we've forgotten to mention or
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: gathered from all of this Christmas overload of movies, this
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: onslaught of film?
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 3: Well, I think what I've learned, um, is that, uh,
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 3: In some Christmas movies, Jon Favreau is an MMA fighter.
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 1: Jon Favreau's a lot of things in his life. Who
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: would have known he would end up being as influential
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: in film as he is?
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 3: And from the same logic of this film, the pairing
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 3: of Sissy Spacek and Robert Duvall biologically gives us Vince Vaughn.
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 3: A man who is three times the height of both
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 3: his parents.
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: You just stack them together, and you get Vince Vaughn.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 3: And you add one more family member, yeah. So, yeah.
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 3: So there you go.
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: Four Christmases there, folks.
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 3: Not a great movie, slightly entertaining, but there's a lot
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 3: of questions.
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: In that movie. Well, what I've learned is that, well,
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: the ladies love journalism.
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, they do. It is the.
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 1: The career of the future. And that's where you really
• 1:37:39
  Speaker 1: want to, you know, put your best foot forward when
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: moving forward with your career. And that if you're going
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: to get in a relationship, it's best to start out
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: by lying about who you are.
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: Like to really just try to make one huge aspect
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: of your identity a secret. And then just sort of
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: go along with it, and maybe you, you know, start
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: to have some chemistry, and then eventually, you know, the
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: truth will come out. But it'll all end fine. So
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: it's best to just start off lying about who you are,
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: and then your relationship will come together.
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 3: And most importantly, kids, if you happen to get stuck
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 3: on the beach, just lure a bunch of random strangers,
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 3: tell them a story, and wait for the ice cream
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 3: bunny to show up to save your ass.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: This is only the kids that are stoned. Man, I
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 1: could really use some ice cream right now. Yeah. So...
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: In previous episodes, we've neglected this part, but while we're
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: talking to people... you have your own thing. Tell people
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: how they can like, listen to you talk about other
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: things other than when I sucker you to come talk
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: about movies on here.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 3: I do. Yes. Uh, well, I've got a little thing
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 3: called the fanatic forum. Uh, currently I'm just on Facebook,
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 3: so you can just look up fanatic forum on Facebook. And, uh,
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 3: every week on Fridays at seven, I do a live
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 3: show where I just chat about whatever I feel like
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 3: that week. Sometimes it's a movie, sometimes it's TV, sometimes
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 3: it's wrestling all the time. I'm talking about comics though. Usually, uh,
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 3: I'm moving to YouTube in the very near future, but
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 3: I'm working on some graphics and some music, a proper presentation,
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 3: as opposed to the cold open I do on Facebook.
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so look for me eventually on YouTube in
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 3: the very near future, probably the next month or two.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 3: But yeah, right now on Facebook.
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 1: If you can't find him, hey, let me know. I'm
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: probably putting links out half the time when I'm trying
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: to pass it along as you're doing episodes. But if not...
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: And tie in with these episodes, I can definitely put
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: stuff out there. And when you get YouTube running, I
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 1: can pass that along, too. There you go. Thanks, yeah.
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: Assuming you're on the evils that are Facebook, yeah, follow
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: me and you'll follow.
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 3: George as well. That's right. Synergy.
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: There we go. That's your holiday gift. Go hang out
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 1: with George.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 3: Happy holidays, folks.
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: We've been through quite a journey here. We have. So
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: if you want us to plan for next year and
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: give us a specific movie to watch or... If you
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 1: want us to pick six more movies to throw ourselves into,
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: we can do that too. So yeah, let us know
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: if you've got any more specifics you want to point
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: us towards for next Christmas.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 3: We like our wide-ranging topics.
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: In the meantime, we'll be back with other wide range
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: of topics. So if you have one of those, throw
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: that at us too. So let us know what you
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 1: want us to ramble on about, and I'm sure we will.
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: But other than that, thank you for joining us on
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 1: this holiday journey. Otherwise, we will return next time, same
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: geek feed. Thanks for listening.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 3: TGFN.
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, or whatever you're into.
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 3: Fröhliche Weihnachten.
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 6: I really can't stay.
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: No problem, there's the door.
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 6: I've got to go away.
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 3: I hear you.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: Say no more.
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 6: This evening has been.
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: Totally consensual. So? Hope you get home safe tonight.
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 6: My mother will start to worry.
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 1: Here's my phone, give her a call.
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 6: My father will be pacing the floor.
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: Adios, say no more.
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 6: So really, I'd better scurry.
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: I've been saying that for a while.
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 6: Well, maybe just a half a drink more.
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: Slow down, that's quite a pour.
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 6: The neighbor's my thing.
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: Just my old friend Troy.
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 6: Say, what's in this drink?
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: It's just lemon LaCroix.
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 6: I wish I knew how.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 3: To take a hint?
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 6: To break the spell.
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: Do you know how to spell farewell?
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 6: I'll have to say.
• 1:41:53
  Speaker 1: No, no, no I'll call you when over there close.
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 6: At least I'm gonna say.
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: That I tried I feel like you're not trying at all.
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 6: I really can't stay.
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe just go out Maybe just.
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 4: Go outside I mean, we really didn't address any Hanukkah movies,
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 4: but they're a very short list.
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I know like Eight Crazy Nights. They
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 3: actually turned that into a movie.
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: That's pretty much it. I mean, the majority of what
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 1: I know about Hanukkah I learned from South Park, so
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: it's about the most functional the show's ever been. I
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: learned a lot. I learned something in that episode.
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 3: You know, the funny thing is that there's... You know,
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 3: it's funny, like Sirius XM, like their satellite radio, like
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 3: they have a Hanukkah channel, right?
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 3: You know, they have all these Christmas channels, but like
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 3: the Hanukkah channel is mostly like people like reading passages
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 3: out of the Torah or, you know, so there's like,
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 3: you know, Hanukkah is just as valid and fine of
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 3: a holiday as anybody else's, but... there doesn't seem to
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 3: be a lot of fun to be had outside of
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 3: the fact that you get presents for eight nights. So
• 1:43:04
  Speaker 3: the kids dig that part.
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's some gambling involved.
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 1: Sure. You got your dreidel action. That's like casino night, basically.
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: I was like, let's get some more Hanukkah carols. Let's
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: get some Hanukkah movies. You know, where's your, you know,
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 1: you know, you know, boobie got run over by a reindeer.
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Where's that?
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 1: You know, there was some sort of Hanukkah Harry project
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 1: for a while, but I think that fell apart.
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 1: Future episodes.
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 3: Indeed.
• 1:43:31
  Speaker 1: Hanukkah movies. We'll work on it.
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 5: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown,
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 5: produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 5: performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 5: or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 3: Talk hard!
• 1:43:55
  Speaker 1: This program is a proud member of the Battleship Pretension Fleet.