Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Be gone insecurities! Cut the dead weight! (E)

Transcript

Be gone insecurities! Cut the dead weight! (E) · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:15
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, Welcome to the podcast episode of today.
0:19
Speaker 1: This is the last Encore episode because next week we
0:23
Speaker 1: dive straight into some brand new content and you will
0:25
Speaker 1: be thrilled to know that as of next week, for
0:29
Speaker 1: the next two weeks, we're doing a mini episode a
0:32
Speaker 1: day for ten days in a row. It is the
0:35
Speaker 1: kickstart that you never knew you needed to dive deep
0:39
Speaker 1: into twenty twenty five. It's going to be iconic. It's
0:42
Speaker 1: going to be insurmount No, that's not the word. It's
0:45
Speaker 1: going to be monumental. I was going to say insurmountal,
0:48
Speaker 1: but I really hope that's not the case. It's going
0:50
Speaker 1: to be a monumental and it's going to be a
0:52
Speaker 1: fucking game changer. By the end of these ten days,
0:54
Speaker 1: you are going to feel like you have got your
0:56
Speaker 1: fucking shit together packaged quite nice, so you can enter
1:02
Speaker 1: the year with a fucking bang and exit the year
1:04
Speaker 1: with the bang at the end of the year. Okay,
1:06
Speaker 1: so before that, we've got one final Encore episode this January,
1:12
Speaker 1: and this episode is from the original episode. I don't
1:15
Speaker 1: have the episode number here with me, but it's begone Insecurities,
1:18
Speaker 1: cut the dead Weight. We love cutting the dead Weight,
1:22
Speaker 1: and this is the perfect episode I think to listen
1:25
Speaker 1: to so you can go in feeling really pumped and
1:28
Speaker 1: refreshed on Monday when we start the ten days to
1:33
Speaker 1: being a better Bean, a better Bean, and a better being. Anyway,
1:37
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shout the fuck up and let you listen
1:39
Speaker 1: to this episode. Love you guys so much, and I'll
1:41
Speaker 1: be back in your ears on Monday. Hello, my beautiful beans,
1:46
Speaker 1: and welcome to today's episode. This episode is all about insecurities.
1:50
Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking about big insecurities, small insecurities,
1:54
Speaker 1: acute insecurities, and chronic as well, all different kinds of insecurities.
1:58
Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking about why they happen, when
2:01
Speaker 1: they most commonly happen, and what you can do about
2:04
Speaker 1: it as well, and how it manifests as well. I'm
2:08
Speaker 1: going to be talking about when you have an insecurity,
2:09
Speaker 1: what are the ways in which it can manifest because
2:12
Speaker 1: different people can behave in different ways when they become
2:16
Speaker 1: insecure and where they're feeling insecure. So there's a lot
2:20
Speaker 1: to think about today. You're going to realize that, if
2:24
Speaker 1: you haven't already, most of us have insecurities. It's not
2:29
Speaker 1: rare at all for people to have insecurities, but there's
2:32
Speaker 1: a difference. There are some people that have, you know,
2:34
Speaker 1: these little quick bursts of insecurities that happen, and that's
2:37
Speaker 1: kind of the brain protecting. It's putting on the brakes,
2:40
Speaker 1: being like, oh, should you be doing that? Last time?
2:42
Speaker 1: It wasn't that great. But then you're easily able to
2:44
Speaker 1: overcome it and then you move on and that insecurity
2:46
Speaker 1: is a thing of the past, whereas for some people,
2:48
Speaker 1: they have insecurities that are quite paralyzing and it stops
2:51
Speaker 1: them from, you know, doing certain things at work. It
2:53
Speaker 1: stops them from putting themselves out there, whether it's on
2:57
Speaker 1: a dating app or in person when it comes to romance,
3:00
Speaker 1: because they feel like they've been shut down. It also
3:02
Speaker 1: stops them from doing certain things in a social setting
3:05
Speaker 1: because they don't feel confident with how they are socially,
3:07
Speaker 1: or that they don't feel confident with how they look
3:09
Speaker 1: or what their body looks like, or their own ability
3:13
Speaker 1: to start a conversation, or how interesting or smart they
3:15
Speaker 1: think they are. So ranges in how heavily insecurities can
3:19
Speaker 1: affect your life. So that's what this episode is going
3:22
Speaker 1: to be about. Now I am going to talk about
3:25
Speaker 1: a little brain facts. This is a fun fact. It's
3:27
Speaker 1: going to be short and sweet, and then we're going
3:29
Speaker 1: to get straight into the topic of today, which is
3:33
Speaker 1: of course insecurities. Now, the brain fact that I want
3:35
Speaker 1: to talk about is brain freezes and a little bit
3:38
Speaker 1: about headaches, but mainly brain freezes. So what is a
3:40
Speaker 1: brain freeze and why does it happen? What is the
3:42
Speaker 1: deal so a brain freeze? Most of us have experienced it.
3:45
Speaker 1: I think some people have different names for it, but
3:47
Speaker 1: I only know it is brain freeze I'm pretty sure.
3:50
Speaker 1: Is the rapid onset headache when you eat something cold. Okay,
3:54
Speaker 1: you have a slowpee, you have ice cream, whatever. If
3:56
Speaker 1: you're eating it too quickly, you're cooling down your mouth
3:58
Speaker 1: and your throat way too fast. Your brain doesn't like,
4:01
Speaker 1: you know, rapid change, so it kind of rebels by
4:04
Speaker 1: giving you this very quick onset headache, this kind of
4:08
Speaker 1: tension pain that you feel often. It's kind of in
4:11
Speaker 1: the frontal lober area, that like your forehead kind of area.
4:16
Speaker 1: So what's actually happening When you swallow something cold, the
4:19
Speaker 1: temperature is changing really quickly, and it's actually changing the
4:22
Speaker 1: temperature in the area of your throat or kind of
4:26
Speaker 1: up above and behind your throat, in particulates the juncture
4:29
Speaker 1: of the internal carotid artery, which is the artery that
4:32
Speaker 1: sends blood to the brain, and also the anterior cerebral artery.
4:35
Speaker 1: So when the cold hits, these vessels contract and dilate
4:39
Speaker 1: really quickly. They're kind of like in a panic, like, well,
4:42
Speaker 1: what the fuck's going on kind of thing, And when
4:45
Speaker 1: that happens, all the ma ninja's around the brain. These
4:47
Speaker 1: receptors that are surrounding the brain interpret this as pain
4:52
Speaker 1: and send pain signals. Pretty much. The reason it's sending
4:54
Speaker 1: you pain signals is to tell you to stop doing
4:57
Speaker 1: what you're doing. It doesn't like, you know, quick changes,
5:01
Speaker 1: and it wants you to cease eating something so cold
5:03
Speaker 1: so quickly. It's not causing you damage per se, but
5:06
Speaker 1: it's your brain kind of protecting itself by saying this
5:09
Speaker 1: is painful, stop doing what you're doing, because it doesn't
5:11
Speaker 1: understand it pretty much. So now this is what I
5:14
Speaker 1: found really interesting about brain freezes, which scientists actually use
5:18
Speaker 1: brain freezes to study headaches a lot because you can't
5:21
Speaker 1: actually in a lot of cases ethically induce a headache,
5:25
Speaker 1: and in pretty much all cases you can't really induce
5:27
Speaker 1: a migraine. So it's a really good way of studying
5:30
Speaker 1: headaches because what I found really interesting is that your
5:33
Speaker 1: brain itself does not perceive pain, no headache, no matter
5:39
Speaker 1: if it's a tention, headache, a migraine, a brain freeze,
5:42
Speaker 1: whatever headache it is. No headache is the pain coming
5:47
Speaker 1: from within the brain. While it feels like your brain
5:50
Speaker 1: is pulsating and throbbing and hurting, it's not actually coming
5:54
Speaker 1: from the brain. Because the brain is great at communicating
5:56
Speaker 1: to you what pain is happening around your body, very
5:58
Speaker 1: specific where it is very specific on what type of pain.
6:02
Speaker 1: Itself cannot sense pain, okay, not even migraines. So when
6:06
Speaker 1: it feels like your brain is inexcruciating pain, it's not
6:09
Speaker 1: actually your brain hurting. The pain is coming from the nerves,
6:13
Speaker 1: the muscles, and the blood vessels that are surrounding your brain,
6:16
Speaker 1: your head, and your neck. So if they swell, if
6:19
Speaker 1: things are too tight, if your sinuses are swollen, then
6:22
Speaker 1: this can cause different kinds of headaches for different purposes.
6:25
Speaker 1: So I thought that that was really interesting because you know,
6:29
Speaker 1: obviously I always thought that it was coming from inside
6:31
Speaker 1: the brain. Before I understood that the brain itself cannot
6:34
Speaker 1: doesn't have pain receptors, it can't feel pain. But what
6:37
Speaker 1: this does mean because obviously there are times where people
6:40
Speaker 1: get these horrible migraines, horrible headaches and it turns out
6:43
Speaker 1: that they've got a brain tumor, and people are thinking, Okay, well,
6:46
Speaker 1: what does that mean. Then that's because there's pressure in
6:49
Speaker 1: some area of the brain and this excessive pressure can
6:52
Speaker 1: cause the onset of headaches. So the pressure can be
6:54
Speaker 1: internally or externally, and the pressure is what is giving
7:00
Speaker 1: that pain signal. So that is the fun brain fact
7:03
Speaker 1: for today. Now let's get straight into today's episode all
7:06
Speaker 1: about insecurities. There's a whole bunch of shit that I
7:08
Speaker 1: want to get through, so let's dive straight in. So firstly,
7:12
Speaker 1: let's talk about what is insecurity? What is feelings of insecurity?
7:16
Speaker 1: I kind of looked up all these different meanings and
7:18
Speaker 1: I found the most common ones that would crop up,
7:20
Speaker 1: and the main ones were. Insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety
7:24
Speaker 1: about oneself, the feeling of inadequacy and uncertainty, a lack
7:29
Speaker 1: of confidence, or the state of being open to danger
7:32
Speaker 1: or threat the feeling of a lack of protection. Okay,
7:35
Speaker 1: so we can pretty much all kind of relate to
7:38
Speaker 1: that on some level. One of those, if not all
7:40
Speaker 1: of those descriptions. Now, like I mentioned at the start
7:43
Speaker 1: of the episode, there's kind of two types. There's the acute.
7:45
Speaker 1: It's specific to one thing that is happening. Like, for example,
7:50
Speaker 1: if you just got rejected by somebody. In general, your
7:55
Speaker 1: confidence levels to turn around and quickly put yourself out
7:58
Speaker 1: there again are going to be lower than normal. Not
8:00
Speaker 1: for everyone. Some people just aren't insecure when it comes
8:02
Speaker 1: to the dating scene, but that might be the case.
8:04
Speaker 1: But it's acute. You're feeling insecure about a specific thing
8:07
Speaker 1: that happened in that moment, and then you can kind
8:09
Speaker 1: of bounce back. You might have just been fired, so
8:13
Speaker 1: your confidence levels based on your performance, so your confidence
8:17
Speaker 1: levels about getting another job are going to be like, fuck,
8:20
Speaker 1: can I even go for that role because I just
8:22
Speaker 1: got fired for the exact same role because my performance
8:25
Speaker 1: wasn't good. So you're feeling insecure about your abilities. Okay,
8:28
Speaker 1: But then there's chronic insecurity and this can either happen
8:32
Speaker 1: in one area in your life, but it's all the
8:34
Speaker 1: time and it's kind of tied. It can be tied
8:37
Speaker 1: to in conjunction with social anxiety or different kinds of anxiety. So,
8:41
Speaker 1: for example, you might feel insecure every time you have
8:44
Speaker 1: to talk to people, or every time you have to
8:47
Speaker 1: put yourself out there. You just don't feel comfortable with
8:49
Speaker 1: who you are, with what you have to offer. You
8:51
Speaker 1: feel embarrassed, you feel that you're being judged, You feel
8:54
Speaker 1: that people are looking at you or laughing at you.
8:58
Speaker 1: So that's an insecurity or it could be just insecure
9:01
Speaker 1: when in the dating scene, at work, you're not confident
9:03
Speaker 1: with your abilities. It could be an underlying thing in
9:06
Speaker 1: one or many areas of your life. Okay, so you
9:10
Speaker 1: might have one of that or one or both of
9:14
Speaker 1: those things. So often I would say most people do
9:17
Speaker 1: have acute insecurities. Okay, it's pretty common. Now both can
9:23
Speaker 1: be addressed and you can release your ties and feeling
9:27
Speaker 1: like a hostage to both of these things. Now, it's
9:30
Speaker 1: not to say that after listening to this podcast and
9:32
Speaker 1: after doing the work, that you're never going to feel
9:33
Speaker 1: insecure again, not at all. What I'm aiming to do
9:36
Speaker 1: with this is when feelings of insecurity crop up, you're
9:40
Speaker 1: able to intercept them, and get rid of them as
9:43
Speaker 1: quickly as possible. That's what the aim of this episode is,
9:46
Speaker 1: because you're going to understand that your brain, when your
9:49
Speaker 1: brain sends you these ideas and concepts that make you
9:53
Speaker 1: feel insecure, it's actually doing it to protect you. As
9:56
Speaker 1: warped as that is, it is a protective mechanism. So
10:01
Speaker 1: for someone who's insecure, you're probably going to be let's say,
10:04
Speaker 1: right now, you're listening to this and you're an insecure
10:06
Speaker 1: person about whatever topic it is, okay, you're constantly reminding
10:10
Speaker 1: your brain of how bad it could be. I can't
10:13
Speaker 1: go to this event because people just I just I
10:16
Speaker 1: can never have a conversation with someone. I feel like
10:19
Speaker 1: people always misunderstand me. I never get the joke, and
10:24
Speaker 1: I can never be funny. People always walk away from me.
10:27
Speaker 1: I feel insecure. I'm not good enough. I don't have
10:29
Speaker 1: anything to offer. So if you feel that way and
10:31
Speaker 1: you keep telling yourself that about any social event that
10:34
Speaker 1: you're going to walk into, you're constantly reminding your brain
10:38
Speaker 1: of how bad it could be, or what you should
10:41
Speaker 1: be fearing, or how bad the rejection was or how
10:44
Speaker 1: bad it's going to be. So your brain naturally hears
10:46
Speaker 1: something that triggers this insecurity. For example, do you want
10:50
Speaker 1: to come to this party with me? And your brain's
10:53
Speaker 1: like shit, fuck, shit, fuck, I'm gonna protect you. I
10:55
Speaker 1: don't want you to suffer. I know how much you've
10:57
Speaker 1: thought about this, I know how much you hate the
10:59
Speaker 1: feeling and how much you fear it. So I'm now
11:01
Speaker 1: going to protect you and remind you of why you
11:03
Speaker 1: shouldn't go to that party. I'm going to say to you, like, oh,
11:06
Speaker 1: remember the last time you went to that party. That
11:08
Speaker 1: was really painful. Remember when that person ignored you. That
11:11
Speaker 1: was painful. Remember when you cracked a joke and nobody laughed.
11:13
Speaker 1: Fuck that shit, don't go, don't go, don't go. Your
11:16
Speaker 1: brain is doing that to protect you, okay, And by
11:18
Speaker 1: protecting you, it makes you retreat. Your brain is trying
11:21
Speaker 1: to limit the chances of you feeling bad again. It's
11:25
Speaker 1: trying to limit the chances of you feeling vulnerable and
11:29
Speaker 1: open to being hurt again. But at the same time,
11:33
Speaker 1: it's fucking you over unintentionally, Okay, by doing that, by
11:37
Speaker 1: trying to protect you, it's actually damaging your chances of
11:41
Speaker 1: overcoming these insecurities and feeling better again about them. Now,
11:45
Speaker 1: I think it's super important to address your insecurities because
11:48
Speaker 1: insecurities are the killer of joy. Insecurities kill the present moment,
11:53
Speaker 1: they kill your ability to enjoy your life, and their
11:57
Speaker 1: killer of freedom. Okay, now, one thing that you've got
12:00
Speaker 1: to come to terms with and I'll explain and it's
12:02
Speaker 1: going to make a lot more sense later on in
12:05
Speaker 1: this episode. But insecurities are delusions to a certain extent. Okay,
12:11
Speaker 1: because think about it. What is the opposite of insecurity? Security? Right?
12:17
Speaker 1: Security is the opposite of insecurity. Can a stranger provide
12:20
Speaker 1: security for you? No? Can someone on a dating app
12:24
Speaker 1: provide security for you? Can your employer? Can your best
12:27
Speaker 1: friend or your child? Can your performance at work? No? Why?
12:31
Speaker 1: Because none of these things are reliable as far as
12:35
Speaker 1: long term reliability, none of them, which means that they're
12:39
Speaker 1: not secure. The only thing that is secure and for
12:43
Speaker 1: certain is that you were born and that you're going
12:46
Speaker 1: to die. That's it, unfortunately, and that you're going to
12:49
Speaker 1: live in between. That's about it. Okay, That's not much
12:51
Speaker 1: else that is secure. So a need for constant security
12:56
Speaker 1: in the external will cause you to feel insecure, and
13:00
Speaker 1: it is the level at which you need security from
13:03
Speaker 1: external factors. That is going to determine the level of
13:05
Speaker 1: your insecurity because it will never anything that's external to
13:10
Speaker 1: you can never achieve the feelings that you're searching for.
13:14
Speaker 1: You're looking in the wrong place and you're coming up
13:16
Speaker 1: with all the wrong answers and all the wrong feelings
13:19
Speaker 1: when you look in the wrong place. So let's find
13:22
Speaker 1: another way of looking at the things that generally make
13:26
Speaker 1: us feel insecure. Let's find ways to turn that around.
13:29
Speaker 1: If you live your life avoiding things that are going
13:32
Speaker 1: to cause insecurities and cause that feeling in you, then
13:37
Speaker 1: you are going to live life avoiding life. So you're
13:42
Speaker 1: just existing and avoiding the inevitable. Okay, that's not fun,
13:47
Speaker 1: it's not fucking worth it, and you're going to reach
13:49
Speaker 1: the end of your life and be like, WHOA, here
13:51
Speaker 1: I was trying to control things I couldn't control and
13:54
Speaker 1: suffering and having a shit time in the process, when
13:57
Speaker 1: I could have changed how I viewed these things. Now,
14:02
Speaker 1: for the purpose of this episode, I want you to
14:06
Speaker 1: just think of one, maybe two, maximum three. Don't get
14:10
Speaker 1: too fucking hard on yourself, but think about one to
14:13
Speaker 1: three things that are your main insecurities. It could be physical.
14:17
Speaker 1: Is it your teeth? Is it the way your knees look?
14:21
Speaker 1: You know how people have the weirdest concepts about what
14:23
Speaker 1: they're insecure about and everyone else is like, what I
14:26
Speaker 1: never noticed? What is your insecurity? Is it something about
14:29
Speaker 1: your performance? Are you? Do you think that you're really
14:32
Speaker 1: shit at X y Z Take a moment, pause this
14:34
Speaker 1: if you need to, and pick the top one to
14:37
Speaker 1: three things that you are insecure about and get clear
14:40
Speaker 1: on it, because I want you to revert back to
14:42
Speaker 1: this theme, this particular one as we work through the
14:45
Speaker 1: different points in this episode. So you've kind of got
14:47
Speaker 1: like a goalpost that you're kind of working around. If
14:51
Speaker 1: that is that even a fucking saying? And an easy
14:53
Speaker 1: way to think of one is think what do you
14:55
Speaker 1: fear the most of when you think you're being judged
14:58
Speaker 1: by someone? What is your initial thought? If you like
15:01
Speaker 1: someone and you're about to meet up with them, what's
15:04
Speaker 1: your Oh, I hope they don't see this, or I
15:05
Speaker 1: hope they don't notice this, or I hope that this
15:08
Speaker 1: doesn't crop up in conversation, or I hope what are
15:10
Speaker 1: your main fears and what do you avoid the most
15:12
Speaker 1: when you're meeting someone new, when you're dating someone, or
15:15
Speaker 1: when you have to perform, or when you have to
15:17
Speaker 1: do something for work. Okay, what are those main things?
15:21
Speaker 1: Just remember them, be mindful of them, and we're going
15:23
Speaker 1: to revert back to them throughout the episode. Now, the
15:25
Speaker 1: first thing I want to talk about as far as
15:27
Speaker 1: points around your insecurities is where are these insecurities stemming from?
15:31
Speaker 1: Because there's a few different areas where they're stemming from.
15:34
Speaker 1: But the number one place where they stem from, because
15:37
Speaker 1: I know that a lot of people think it's got
15:40
Speaker 1: to be from your childhood, and that's one of them
15:42
Speaker 1: for sure, but the main one where insecurities stem from.
15:44
Speaker 1: It's around forty percent of your insecurities stem from recent events,
15:51
Speaker 1: and this then causes us to project our fears into
15:55
Speaker 1: the future about what's going to happen next. So a
15:57
Speaker 1: recent event main one, and literally the main one is heartbreak.
16:01
Speaker 1: You've been dumped, someone dumps your ass and you're like, ah,
16:05
Speaker 1: fuck putting myself out there again because what if this
16:08
Speaker 1: happens again. I now feel like there's something I just
16:11
Speaker 1: got rejected. I feel abandoned, how I felt, my confidence
16:16
Speaker 1: levels about how I am in a relationship have now
16:19
Speaker 1: been shot down, okay. And one of the things that
16:22
Speaker 1: affects people's emotional wellbeing in general and the most is
16:26
Speaker 1: the end of a romantic relationship or a heartbreak. That
16:30
Speaker 1: affects people's general wellbeing more than any other pain as
16:34
Speaker 1: far as statistically so, even over grief and loss and
16:37
Speaker 1: all of that, the main one is heartbreak. So I
16:41
Speaker 1: think this is a good one to revert back to
16:44
Speaker 1: because probably all of us have been there, and any
16:46
Speaker 1: form of rejection is going to make you think worse
16:48
Speaker 1: of yourself. For most people, you're going to tend when
16:51
Speaker 1: something goes bad. You tend to agree with what people
16:55
Speaker 1: tell you. And this is just so often the case
16:59
Speaker 1: for negative and not so much for positive things. We're
17:03
Speaker 1: skewed towards negative because it does trigger more from an
17:06
Speaker 1: emotional response. When someone says something really mean to you,
17:10
Speaker 1: if there's a tiny bit of you that agrees with it,
17:13
Speaker 1: you then amplified and magnified and you tend to be like, oh,
17:16
Speaker 1: could this be true? Whereas if someone says something positive
17:19
Speaker 1: to you, depending on the kind of person you are,
17:22
Speaker 1: but in general you think, oh thanks, oh no, no, no, no,
17:26
Speaker 1: that's not true. Loel and then you bring up something
17:29
Speaker 1: bad about yourself because that's just you know, you think
17:31
Speaker 1: it might be the polite way of doing things or whatever.
17:34
Speaker 1: But things that occur around us really influence our levels
17:38
Speaker 1: of security or insecurity. If you're in a dating app
17:40
Speaker 1: and you're in a fucking roll and everyone's replying to you,
17:42
Speaker 1: everyone's replying back to the people that you've messaged, your
17:45
Speaker 1: confidence goes up. Right. If the opposite happens, your confidence
17:51
Speaker 1: goes down and you feel insecure. We see it all
17:54
Speaker 1: the time, whether it's happened to us or whether we
17:57
Speaker 1: are the culprit, or whether it's our best friends doing it.
18:00
Speaker 1: We see this whole thing of, oh, I don't really
18:03
Speaker 1: like that person, but fuck, they're doing wonders for my ego.
18:06
Speaker 1: They might not admit it, but fuck they're doing wonders
18:09
Speaker 1: for my ego. So I'm going to keep seeing this
18:11
Speaker 1: person until something else crops up. People that don't feel
18:16
Speaker 1: one hundred percent comfortable being alone and comfortable in their
18:19
Speaker 1: own skin and comfortable with who they are are very
18:22
Speaker 1: likely to engage in those kinds of behaviors. You're good
18:26
Speaker 1: for now, but not good long term. I will entertain
18:30
Speaker 1: this because you are my confidence blanket, and while I'm
18:33
Speaker 1: seeing you on the side and nothing's kind of exclusive
18:37
Speaker 1: or official here, I can then feel confident enough to
18:41
Speaker 1: put myself out there on dating apps and reach out
18:43
Speaker 1: because if I get rejected, I've got my ego booster
18:46
Speaker 1: person over here that's making me feel good about myself.
18:49
Speaker 1: How often have you been that person, the ego booster
18:52
Speaker 1: for somebody else? So many of us I have, Fuck
18:55
Speaker 1: knows how many times we all have. We've been that
18:58
Speaker 1: little fucking we've been the charity case for someone else,
19:01
Speaker 1: doing their fucking self love work for them because they
19:05
Speaker 1: can't do it for themselves. People do that all the time.
19:08
Speaker 1: It's because they're terrified of feeling insecure. Now, another place
19:12
Speaker 1: you can stem from, of course, like I said earlier,
19:14
Speaker 1: is how you've been raised. If you've always been raised
19:17
Speaker 1: being criticized, criticized, criticized. It could be if you've been
19:20
Speaker 1: bullied in the past growing up, and that's kind of
19:23
Speaker 1: your innate way of thinking, always criticizing yourself, or if
19:25
Speaker 1: you're currently being bullied now. And then another big one,
19:29
Speaker 1: which is kind of falls into the first category, which
19:32
Speaker 1: is the recent events. But another big one is being
19:35
Speaker 1: in a very toxic relationship, toxic or abusive relationship. That's
19:40
Speaker 1: a huge one sense. Now, what I want to do
19:50
Speaker 1: is I want to talk about my three main points
19:52
Speaker 1: for how does insecurity manifest in your behavior? And you're
19:56
Speaker 1: going to pinpoint which one you are or which one
19:58
Speaker 1: you know people being most commonly in your life, and
20:02
Speaker 1: then I'm going to go into a whole bunch of
20:04
Speaker 1: points that you can you know, take on board, activities,
20:07
Speaker 1: you can do, thoughts that you can start to engage
20:10
Speaker 1: in to turn it around for yourself. So how does
20:14
Speaker 1: it manifest the three main ones? Number one retreating? This
20:18
Speaker 1: is the most common way that insecurities are going to
20:21
Speaker 1: manifest in your behavior. You feel insecure, so you start
20:24
Speaker 1: putting yourself out there less, you start engaging less. You
20:27
Speaker 1: don't want to risk being hurt again. You don't want
20:29
Speaker 1: to experience the pain of rejection, abandonment, being judged, feeling
20:34
Speaker 1: like a failure, etc. Etc. Etc. So what do you do?
20:38
Speaker 1: You live small? You retreat, you pull back, that's really common.
20:42
Speaker 1: Number Two, you pretend to be someone that you're not
20:45
Speaker 1: and then you end up coming across is really inauthentic
20:47
Speaker 1: or forced. This often happens for people that have insecurities
20:51
Speaker 1: around social scenarios, whether it's dating or as you know,
20:55
Speaker 1: just socializing with friends and stuff like that. The issue
20:59
Speaker 1: with this is that you're telling yourself, I with what
21:05
Speaker 1: I have to offer isn't good enough, so I now
21:07
Speaker 1: need to put on an act, I need to put
21:08
Speaker 1: on a show, I need to just But it comes
21:10
Speaker 1: across really forced because you're not loose, you're not relaxed.
21:14
Speaker 1: There's no authenticity in the conversations. You're like really intense.
21:18
Speaker 1: That's what often happens. Now. There's a difference between what
21:21
Speaker 1: I just mentioned here pretending to be someone you're not,
21:24
Speaker 1: versus this idea of having an alter ego. I did
21:27
Speaker 1: an episode a while back and I referenced a book
21:30
Speaker 1: called Alter Ego, and it's I think the episode called
21:32
Speaker 1: self Love The Different Versions of You or something like that,
21:36
Speaker 1: But basically it talks about the benefits of exploring the
21:40
Speaker 1: different sides of your personality and tapping into them when
21:43
Speaker 1: you need to, and potentially even having that alter ego
21:46
Speaker 1: like Beyonce has Sasha Fierce when she's on stage so
21:48
Speaker 1: she can really get into it. That is different to
21:50
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about here is
21:53
Speaker 1: when you're saying to yourself, I who I am authentically
21:57
Speaker 1: is not good enough, so I need to pretend to
21:59
Speaker 1: be somebody else. When you do that, you reinforce yourself
22:02
Speaker 1: that you're not good enough. Every time you say, oh,
22:05
Speaker 1: hide to who I really am, hide how I normally react,
22:07
Speaker 1: or the kind of humor that I have put on
22:10
Speaker 1: an act. You're saying I'm not good enough, okay, And
22:13
Speaker 1: then the last one, the third one. It can manifest
22:16
Speaker 1: in you becoming very manipulative, bullying or aggressive, the kinds
22:22
Speaker 1: of people that are very that they will attack the
22:26
Speaker 1: other person before they get attacked. You see this very
22:30
Speaker 1: very very often in narcissistic people. Narcissistic relationships are really
22:36
Speaker 1: toxic relationships. It's this idea where someone's so insecure that
22:41
Speaker 1: they try and drag you down so they can feel
22:45
Speaker 1: better about themselves. So they're kind of the three categories
22:47
Speaker 1: that it's going to manifest in a turn into an
22:49
Speaker 1: absolute asshole and are horrible to other people because they
22:52
Speaker 1: hate themselves, They are pretending to be someone that they're
22:55
Speaker 1: not because they're not confident with who they are, or
22:57
Speaker 1: they just retreat altogether. Okay, I reckon that the one
23:01
Speaker 1: that is most common or most relatable is the retreat one. Now,
23:05
Speaker 1: let's talk about what you can actually do. I've got
23:06
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of points. I think I've got like
23:08
Speaker 1: eight or more points that you can do. Points on
23:13
Speaker 1: what you can do to change how you feel around
23:17
Speaker 1: your insecurities. Number one, learn get to know the voice
23:21
Speaker 1: inside your head. You know, ask yourself, am I the
23:24
Speaker 1: kind of person that catastrophizes? Am I catastrophizing? Or is
23:28
Speaker 1: there confirmation bias going on? Are you taking one piece
23:33
Speaker 1: of information and converting that one piece of information into
23:37
Speaker 1: evidence to back your claims that you are not good enough? Okay?
23:41
Speaker 1: For example, if you hear someone laugh, are you then
23:44
Speaker 1: instantly going to conclude that they are laughing at you,
23:48
Speaker 1: they are laughing at how your outfit looks, they are
23:51
Speaker 1: laughing at how you are doing your workout. They're laughing
23:54
Speaker 1: at you. Or are you going to be like, oh,
23:56
Speaker 1: that's nice. Someone must have cracked a joke, like it's
23:59
Speaker 1: all how you and things? Right? Are you thinking that
24:04
Speaker 1: if someone is looking at you, it's because it's something
24:07
Speaker 1: negative instead of A they think it's something positive, or
24:11
Speaker 1: B they're glancing over and you happen to lock eyes
24:13
Speaker 1: and they're not even looking at you at all, you know,
24:16
Speaker 1: So you've got to learn to see where what am
24:20
Speaker 1: I skewed to believe? What am I skewed to conclude?
24:24
Speaker 1: Because often people with deep insecurities have this confirmation bias
24:30
Speaker 1: that they will take one piece of evidence and turn
24:34
Speaker 1: it into a fact about something negative about themselves. So
24:37
Speaker 1: get to learn that voice inside your head and get
24:40
Speaker 1: really good at questioning it and say, is this a fact?
24:44
Speaker 1: Do I have evidence? Or am I coming to a
24:46
Speaker 1: conclusion with no evidence whatsoever? Number two, I want you
24:51
Speaker 1: to now focus on taking action on the process, and
24:55
Speaker 1: not focus on the result. If you focus on the
24:59
Speaker 1: result and what's going to happen, you're often focusing on
25:03
Speaker 1: something you cannot control. Because most of the things we
25:06
Speaker 1: do in life have to do with interacting with somebody
25:10
Speaker 1: else or something else. So you only ever have control
25:14
Speaker 1: over a percentage of what's going on in your life.
25:17
Speaker 1: You can never control everything because the moment it factors
25:21
Speaker 1: somebody in you no longer have control of the outcome.
25:24
Speaker 1: You have control over your actions to a certain degree,
25:26
Speaker 1: but not of the outcome. So let's take dating apps
25:29
Speaker 1: for it. As an example, instead of thinking, oh, I
25:33
Speaker 1: wish that you know, if I'm messaging these people and
25:36
Speaker 1: they don't reply, I'm go to feel shit about myself,
25:38
Speaker 1: you're now focusing on the result. The result is they reply.
25:41
Speaker 1: So instead, your end game has to be the action
25:45
Speaker 1: that you're going to take. I want to every time
25:47
Speaker 1: I think someone's really cute, I want to just send
25:49
Speaker 1: them a message. That's it. I've succeeded. If I've sent
25:52
Speaker 1: them a message, I've succeeded. And you end it there,
25:55
Speaker 1: to the extent that if you ever wanted to play
25:57
Speaker 1: a game with yourself, you could send the messages and
25:59
Speaker 1: then make sure that you do not check that up
26:01
Speaker 1: until the following day, so you're not checking, checking, checking,
26:03
Speaker 1: with this checking behavior, which causes these irrational thoughts and
26:07
Speaker 1: it causes spiraling thoughts. You message people, will put your
26:10
Speaker 1: phone down, and it's not until the following day that
26:12
Speaker 1: you check. But your aim is to only focus on
26:16
Speaker 1: the action and not the outcome. Number three set mini milestones.
26:23
Speaker 1: This is kind of like exposure therapy. If it's a
26:26
Speaker 1: social thing and you feel really insecure, you just don't
26:30
Speaker 1: really have many friends. You can say to yourself. I'm
26:33
Speaker 1: going to go to this event for twenty minutes. I
26:36
Speaker 1: know it's a long party. I know it's supposed to
26:38
Speaker 1: go for hours. I'm going for twenty minutes. Or I'm
26:41
Speaker 1: going to speak to two strangers at this event, and
26:43
Speaker 1: the moment I've spoken to two strangers, I leave, or
26:46
Speaker 1: one stranger I leave. Or if you're not invited to
26:49
Speaker 1: an event and you don't have an event to go to,
26:51
Speaker 1: I am going to speak to somebody who is paid
26:55
Speaker 1: to be nice, as in customer service. That's a great
26:58
Speaker 1: way to build up your confident. If you go to
27:00
Speaker 1: a cafe and the person who's serving you, you can
27:02
Speaker 1: easily talk to them. They cannot reject you. They have
27:05
Speaker 1: to be nice to you. That's a great way of
27:08
Speaker 1: exposure therapy. Start a conversation with someone who is going
27:12
Speaker 1: to talk to you. Then you start to realize, okay,
27:14
Speaker 1: this is fine. I feel comfortable. I feel comfortable. I'm
27:17
Speaker 1: buying jeans. I'm going to start asking that person how
27:19
Speaker 1: their days going. It's got nothing to do with the jeans.
27:21
Speaker 1: You start building it up like that. These are like
27:24
Speaker 1: the mini milestones, and once you get comfortable doing that,
27:27
Speaker 1: then you can compliment a random. Say you're waiting at
27:30
Speaker 1: the lights to cross the street. You say, excuse me, sorry,
27:32
Speaker 1: what perfume are you wearing? That's the best and easiest way.
27:36
Speaker 1: They're going to turn around and be like, Oh, they're
27:37
Speaker 1: flattered that you compliment to them, and they'll tell you
27:39
Speaker 1: what perfume they're wearing. And then you'll realize, Wow, not
27:42
Speaker 1: only did I make that person feel good, but I
27:44
Speaker 1: was able to start a conversation with a total random
27:46
Speaker 1: that lasted all of ten seconds. You know, those are
27:49
Speaker 1: really good ways to start to come your insecurities about
27:53
Speaker 1: yourself and what people perceive you as. Okay, really, tiny,
27:56
Speaker 1: tiny milestones are the best way to go. Number four,
28:00
Speaker 1: remind yourself that less is more, less is more, or
28:04
Speaker 1: less is more or less is more. We are so
28:05
Speaker 1: wrapped up in having in getting others to like us
28:09
Speaker 1: or having others think that we're great or that we're enough,
28:12
Speaker 1: and we're so wrapped up in having to do enough
28:15
Speaker 1: or to be funnier or hotter or the hottest person here.
28:19
Speaker 1: You need to slow the fuck down and bring it
28:22
Speaker 1: back to basics. Okay, if you don't have something to say,
28:25
Speaker 1: or if you don't have something funny, to say, you
28:27
Speaker 1: don't have to say anything. You can just sit back
28:30
Speaker 1: and listen. Become a great listener. If you don't have
28:32
Speaker 1: something to contribute to the conversation, you don't have to contribute.
28:36
Speaker 1: And if you're thinking, but this person's not gonna like
28:38
Speaker 1: me unless I contribute, then definitely don't contribute because you
28:42
Speaker 1: shouldn't be taking actions to get a result from someone.
28:46
Speaker 1: You shouldn't be doing something purely for someone to like you.
28:49
Speaker 1: So if you're in a situation right now being like,
28:51
Speaker 1: if I don't say something funny right now, they're not
28:52
Speaker 1: gonna notice me and they're not gonna like me, then
28:54
Speaker 1: just relax and think, well, my time will come later.
28:57
Speaker 1: This is not the time because I'm right now and
29:00
Speaker 1: anything that's going to come out of my mouth is
29:02
Speaker 1: going to be fucking scrambled eggs. Okay, don't think that
29:06
Speaker 1: you have to say something when the time is right.
29:08
Speaker 1: This is forcing this inauthenticity in ourselves. You need to
29:14
Speaker 1: just relax. The more relaxed you are, the more you
29:17
Speaker 1: can have a conversation. And one of the best ways
29:19
Speaker 1: to learn how to have a conversation is just observe.
29:22
Speaker 1: Just sit in a conversation and listen. If there's two
29:24
Speaker 1: people talking, you can just sit there and only intervene
29:28
Speaker 1: when you're comfortable to intervene. Just take away the pressure
29:31
Speaker 1: of having to say something or having to have an opinion.
29:35
Speaker 1: If it feels authentic, it will come and you will
29:38
Speaker 1: feel comfortable to speak. But take the pressure away. And ironically,
29:43
Speaker 1: when you feel less pressure is when things flow so
29:46
Speaker 1: much better. Number five, Always ask yourself before you're about
29:49
Speaker 1: to take action when you're feeling stressed, when you're feeling
29:52
Speaker 1: insecure or social anxiety or any kind of anxiety, ask yourself,
29:56
Speaker 1: is the action I'm about to do loaded with the
30:00
Speaker 1: intention that I have to impress somebody. If the answer
30:03
Speaker 1: is yes, then change what you're about to do. If
30:08
Speaker 1: that is the overall outcome that you're looking for to
30:11
Speaker 1: impress someone, change the action. Start teaching yourself that if
30:15
Speaker 1: your goal is to impress others, then you're always going
30:18
Speaker 1: to feel insecure if it doesn't go your way. If
30:20
Speaker 1: you're about to take an action thinking fuck, I hope
30:23
Speaker 1: it lands because I'm only doing this to impress this person,
30:26
Speaker 1: then if it doesn't land, you're going to confirm to
30:29
Speaker 1: yourself that you shouldn't have done it, and then you're
30:32
Speaker 1: going to feel insecure. You should only ever do an
30:35
Speaker 1: action when you're like, I want to do this action
30:37
Speaker 1: because I feel like it's me. It's authentic. Whether that
30:40
Speaker 1: person responds or not, it's who I am, so it's
30:43
Speaker 1: the right thing to do. And if that person doesn't
30:45
Speaker 1: like it, well, then maybe maybe they're just not the
30:49
Speaker 1: person for me. Maybe I don't have to get this
30:52
Speaker 1: person to like me. Maybe the only version of me
30:56
Speaker 1: that they're going to like is the false version of me,
30:58
Speaker 1: and then when are they going to find out the
30:59
Speaker 1: real version of me? Is it worth it? Is it
31:02
Speaker 1: worth it? We put so much pressure on ourselves to
31:05
Speaker 1: get individuals like us that we end up losing our
31:08
Speaker 1: sense of self, and then we become more and more
31:10
Speaker 1: anxious every time we're around them because we have to
31:13
Speaker 1: live up to the person that we were last time
31:15
Speaker 1: we saw them. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit. When
31:19
Speaker 1: you're trying to impress someone, you're saying I want you
31:22
Speaker 1: to say I'm great. I want you to tell me
31:24
Speaker 1: that I'm good enough. I want to I want to
31:26
Speaker 1: feel fulfilled when you think that I'm good enough. That's
31:30
Speaker 1: not the way to do it, because you can't control
31:33
Speaker 1: how people respond or how they're going to behave, or
31:36
Speaker 1: what they're going to do or what they're going to
31:38
Speaker 1: say to you. You can't control it, so then you
31:40
Speaker 1: feel like a victim to the scenario. Number six. Stop
31:45
Speaker 1: apologizing for shit that you don't have to apologize for,
31:49
Speaker 1: like sorry about my hair, or oh, I'm so sorry
31:51
Speaker 1: about my outfit, sorry that I don't have makeup on?
31:53
Speaker 1: What the fuck is with people apologizing for not having
31:56
Speaker 1: makeup on? That has to end immediately. If you do that,
32:00
Speaker 1: apologize to yourself and say I'm a bad bitch and
32:03
Speaker 1: I'm never doing that again, never again. Okay, I'm a
32:07
Speaker 1: lord with no makeup, so fucking relish it, cunts. Number seven.
32:13
Speaker 1: Always remember to put things into perspective. What you notice
32:17
Speaker 1: will often, if not always, be larger in your head
32:21
Speaker 1: than in the heads of other people around you. Like
32:24
Speaker 1: some of the shit that people say, oh, my biggest
32:26
Speaker 1: insecurity is dot dot dog, especially when they're talking about
32:29
Speaker 1: something physical about themselves, and you'll be like, what I
32:33
Speaker 1: never never would have noticed. Okay, you always think about
32:36
Speaker 1: yourself and how you look and what you're doing so
32:39
Speaker 1: much more than what other people do, to the extent
32:42
Speaker 1: that you're probably so busy worrying about what people are
32:44
Speaker 1: thinking about you that the other person in front of
32:48
Speaker 1: you is also thinking the same way, and you're both
32:50
Speaker 1: having this little war in your heads while you're interacting
32:53
Speaker 1: with each other. It's actually, if it wasn't so sad,
32:55
Speaker 1: it'd be funny. So put things into perspective. Sometimes, if
32:59
Speaker 1: you you imagine someone else having or doing what makes
33:04
Speaker 1: you insecure about yourself, you think, oh, well, it's not
33:07
Speaker 1: so bad on them. I actually think their hair looks fine,
33:10
Speaker 1: or I actually think they look great without makeup, or
33:13
Speaker 1: their performance actually was fine. They whatever they stuffed up in,
33:16
Speaker 1: I'm like barely noticed, or they did stuff up. But hey,
33:21
Speaker 1: don't we all. You know, like when you look at
33:23
Speaker 1: someone else do what you torment yourself about, you're so
33:28
Speaker 1: much kinder in general, unless you're a wanker, you're so
33:31
Speaker 1: much kinder to them. Even in your head silently you're like, yeah, fuck,
33:35
Speaker 1: you know it's great. I don't even notice it. So
33:38
Speaker 1: that's what I mean about putting things into perspective. You're
33:40
Speaker 1: always going to magnify something in your head. Number eight.
33:44
Speaker 1: This is my favorite one. This is the last one,
33:46
Speaker 1: and my favorite one remember the beauty of impermanence. Nothing
33:52
Speaker 1: is permanent, And this helps me so much when I'm
33:57
Speaker 1: feeling insecure. For example, if I'm going through struggles with
34:02
Speaker 1: my work or what I you know, whatever it is
34:04
Speaker 1: that I do, or if something didn't go as well
34:06
Speaker 1: as I thought it would go, or if certain things
34:08
Speaker 1: have slowed down, I remind myself of the last time
34:13
Speaker 1: that I felt that way, and I remind myself how
34:16
Speaker 1: back then, when things went slow, how I thought that
34:19
Speaker 1: this is it. It's slowed down, this is it, it's done,
34:23
Speaker 1: it's finished, and then things picked up again. If you
34:26
Speaker 1: were and then, so I remind myself that nothing is permanent.
34:29
Speaker 1: When things were slow, Yeah they were slow at the time,
34:32
Speaker 1: but it's not permanent. When something didn't go the way
34:35
Speaker 1: I thought it would go professionally or emotionally, it sucked
34:38
Speaker 1: at the time, but it wasn't permanent. And they always
34:41
Speaker 1: turn around. Things always turn around. If you remind yourself
34:46
Speaker 1: that nothing is permanent, or that everything comes in waves,
34:50
Speaker 1: then you're so much better at handling life in general,
34:53
Speaker 1: because you are not denying reality. Okay, people are going
34:58
Speaker 1: to reject you, You're going to have failures professionally, you're
35:02
Speaker 1: going to have things about your body that you don't
35:05
Speaker 1: adore as much as on somebody else. Shit is gonna happen, okay,
35:10
Speaker 1: but things come in waves. Nothing is permanent, and if
35:14
Speaker 1: you try and fight it, you suffer. The pain you
35:18
Speaker 1: experience now won't last, and the euphoria you're experiencing now
35:23
Speaker 1: won't last either, And when it ends, don't resist. When
35:27
Speaker 1: the euphoria ends, don't resist. Keep growing, and it's going
35:31
Speaker 1: to manifest again in another way in your life. The
35:33
Speaker 1: same goes for pain. Whatever pain you're feeling right now
35:37
Speaker 1: won't last forever, so don't resist it. If you're going
35:39
Speaker 1: through something that makes you feel like a failure or
35:42
Speaker 1: an idiot, or makes you feel rejected, and you feel
35:44
Speaker 1: like you can't go on, be the reasoning. Tell yourself,
35:48
Speaker 1: this is not gonna last. Nothing is permanent, This will pass.
35:51
Speaker 1: Don't let that pain who you are as an individual
35:55
Speaker 1: because you are temporarily going through something that's causing you
35:58
Speaker 1: pain or discomfort. Things come and go all the time.
36:03
Speaker 1: We come and go on this earth. We are not permanent.
36:06
Speaker 1: Our own lives are not permanent. So are you gonna
36:09
Speaker 1: allow something that has no permanence in your life, which
36:13
Speaker 1: your life itself is not permanent, take over your ability
36:16
Speaker 1: to be happy. Yes or no? Only you can make
36:19
Speaker 1: that call. Am I gonna allow this impermanent fucking fleck
36:23
Speaker 1: of dust affect my happiness? Yes or no? And remind
36:28
Speaker 1: yourself of that all the time. Nothing is permanent. Nothing
36:31
Speaker 1: is permanent. The bad will pass and the good will
36:34
Speaker 1: pass too. So while it's happening, I'm gonna milk it.
36:37
Speaker 1: If you can remember this and remember this often, then
36:40
Speaker 1: you're more likely to make the most of your life.
36:42
Speaker 1: You're more likely to take those risks to be in
36:45
Speaker 1: the moment to when something happens you think, oh, fucking okay,
36:48
Speaker 1: it is what it is. I put myself out there
36:50
Speaker 1: and it didn't work. Next next, Because if I dwell
36:53
Speaker 1: on this, then then what am I doing with my life?
36:56
Speaker 1: What am I doing? Do this with the high but
37:00
Speaker 1: also with the low points in your life, and if
37:02
Speaker 1: you don't, you're going to risk wasting your life away
37:06
Speaker 1: avoiding things that fuel insecurities, which are technically all in
37:10
Speaker 1: your head. Just remind yourself you've got nothing to lose.
37:14
Speaker 1: I always remind myself I've got nothing to lose if
37:16
Speaker 1: I've got my mind and my sanity. If I've got
37:19
Speaker 1: my health and my inner circle of people that I'm
37:22
Speaker 1: closest to, I have nothing to lose. If you think
37:26
Speaker 1: you have everything to lose, you will live with insecurities
37:30
Speaker 1: of being judged, rejected, abandoned, fear of failure. If you're
37:34
Speaker 1: always worried about losing your status, losing your beauty, losing
37:38
Speaker 1: your popularity, losing your job. If you're always worried about
37:44
Speaker 1: losing these things, that's where insecurity is going to crop up.
37:48
Speaker 1: Always be this level headed mind. Nothing is permanent. I
37:52
Speaker 1: have nothing to lose. Everything that's important is not going anywhere.
37:57
Speaker 1: Everything else comes and goes. Okay, So even romance, even romance,
38:04
Speaker 1: and I've said it a million times and I'll say
38:05
Speaker 1: it again, even if you stay with the person you're
38:08
Speaker 1: with with the love of your life till the day
38:10
Speaker 1: you die, if that's what you want, Even if you
38:13
Speaker 1: stay with them till that point, nothing will be permanent
38:16
Speaker 1: within your relationship. That relationship itself will go through so
38:20
Speaker 1: many evolutions. Who you are dating at twenty is different
38:23
Speaker 1: to thirty, different to fifty, is different to when you
38:25
Speaker 1: have children versus when you retire. There's many different lives
38:29
Speaker 1: within that one relationship. The same goes for your career,
38:34
Speaker 1: the same goes for who you are as a person.
38:38
Speaker 1: Impermanence is beautiful, okay, because it reminds you that you
38:42
Speaker 1: have nothing to lose. Ultimately, you have nothing to lose. Okay,
38:46
Speaker 1: So go over those eight points again. Go over them
38:49
Speaker 1: as many times as you need to reiterate those things,
38:52
Speaker 1: So let's quickly go over them. Learn to talk to
38:54
Speaker 1: the voice inside your head and know when it's catastrophizing.
38:57
Speaker 1: Number two. Focus on taking action and not focusing on
39:01
Speaker 1: and don't focus on the result. Number three, set mini milestones.
39:04
Speaker 1: Number four less is more. Stop having to take action
39:08
Speaker 1: when you don't know what to do. Number five is
39:11
Speaker 1: your current action being done to impress someone? And if
39:14
Speaker 1: it is, don't do it. Number six stop apologizing for
39:18
Speaker 1: shit about yourself that you're insecure about. Number seven, loan
39:21
Speaker 1: to put things into perspective. And number eight remember the
39:24
Speaker 1: beauty of impermanence. Guys, that is the podcast for today.
39:29
Speaker 1: I'm going to like I haven't done the last few episodes.
39:31
Speaker 1: I want to do a little shout out to my
39:32
Speaker 1: beans around the world. We've got a few different cities
39:36
Speaker 1: and locations around the world that I want to hit up.
39:39
Speaker 1: So here we go. We've got Wexford and Ireland, Croyden
39:42
Speaker 1: in the UK, Averoi in Norway, Milan, Italy, and Armada Portugal.
39:48
Speaker 1: A mother, I don't know how to pronounce it. I'm guessing.
39:51
Speaker 1: I'm guessing that's right. Let's just hope that is all
39:54
Speaker 1: my beans. Thank you so much for listening, for sharing
39:58
Speaker 1: the podcast, for sharing it to your f brands, for
40:00
Speaker 1: sharing it on Instagram. I love it when you guys
40:04
Speaker 1: tag me and everything and share it to the world
40:07
Speaker 1: on your stories. It literally makes my day seeing all
40:09
Speaker 1: these people around the world listening to the podcast, So
40:12
Speaker 1: thank you so much. If you don't already follow me
40:14
Speaker 1: on Instagram, it's at Alexis pred sp r e d
40:18
Speaker 1: e z is the handle. Also fun fact, the do
40:24
Speaker 1: You Fucking Mind? Card Game is alive again. I've got
40:28
Speaker 1: new stock. It's up, it's ready, it's it's we're live.
40:31
Speaker 1: So if you go to www dot dyfmpod dot com
40:37
Speaker 1: then you can access the card game. I do ship worldwide,
40:40
Speaker 1: love that for all of our global bands. And so
40:44
Speaker 1: the presale has opened and I will start shipping on Tuesday.
40:49
Speaker 1: The seventeenth, so in literally like four days so you
40:51
Speaker 1: can order the card game. Now, secure your card game,
40:55
Speaker 1: and I will ship it off to you around the world. Guys,
40:57
Speaker 1: thank you so much. As always, I adore you, and
41:00
Speaker 1: remember becond to yourselves, beconn't to your brains, don't text
41:03
Speaker 1: shit from anyone, and especially don't text shit from yourself.
41:06
Speaker 1: Dunker