Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Understanding Enneagram Wings | Moving Forward with Purpose

Transcript

Understanding Enneagram Wings | Moving Forward with Purpose · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: What are Enneagram wings and what do they have to do with you?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean the kind that you might find on a butterfly or ladybug, but I am talking about personality wings that do influence how you interact with others.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, by listening to this episode today, you're not going to suddenly sprout a modified forelimb that has feathers and is used for flying, but I am offering another insight that will help you get unstuck in those patterns of behavior that you don't love.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: You may even stop flying in emotional circles and move forward in your relationships, especially as it relates to your mothering style.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now this week I'm going to clarify what Enneagram personality wings are not, what they actually are, and how understanding yours will benefit your role in relationships.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: As a bonus, I'm sharing a brief description of how each Enneagram wing looks different and is compared to one another.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm wrapping up the season of this podcast, so I can do some live and in-person events this next month.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought this episode would be an awesome way to remind you how the Enneagram can be used as a tool of transformation when we take time to engage with the information.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so delighted to be getting emails every day about how you were impacted by the wholehearted Enneagram Summit.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You all walked away with different insights and favorite sessions, which makes me so happy.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I've decided it's time to start offering live Zoom calls to take the topics that provide transformation and offer in a format that allows community and an opportunity to give personalized, specific advice and prayer, just like I offer my other coaching clients.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So while you listen to this episode, check out September's live event and get your spot before it fills up.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I help you navigate the overwhelm and frustration of motherhood through faith, Enneagram, and simple plans.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: As a faith-based Enneagram coach, I champion you to love your mothering style because you are the mom your kids need, even when you don't feel like it.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest, overwhelmed and frustrated by motherhood.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: He helped me turn the challenges of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my self-awareness, and my family.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Each episode of this podcast provides perspective through story, wholehearted purpose, and simple plan so you can discover how to love your mothering style and be confident that you are the mom your kids need.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Get ready to be encouraged and empowered while you listen.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when someone is fairly new to the Enneagram, I've often heard them say, I think I'm a four-wing one.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I just smile and nod because I know this Enneagram must be fairly new to them.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: So first, just to clarify when I talk about wings in the Enneagram, and to help you know what it's not, picture it like wings as you would any insect.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have the main body and then you have the wings on either side.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully you know now what your dominant type is.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, if you don't know yet, all you need to do is schedule a free 15-minute Zoom call and I'll help you out.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: But when you do know your dominant wing and you look at the Enneagram symbol, then look at the types directly next to your dominant type on the right and the left.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Your personality wings are the types on either side.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: So if you lead as a one, you will have a wing nine and a wing two.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: When you see the wings written out in the Enneagram content, you'll often see it written out with a dominant number, such as in my case, seven W eight.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I would write a seven with a small W and then the dominant wing number eight.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Again, this doesn't mean as a seven wing eight that I never use my six wing.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, in just a minute, I will make the case for why it's healthy to explore both wings and learn to access them in order to stop flying in circles.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: One of the wings is usually, but not always, used more than the other, and it brings a new dimension and depth to the main type, usually how it shows up.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like salt and pepper in that they add flavor to the main type, but we each have a unique palette and we use salt and pepper or our wings accordingly.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: The main type dominates a person's perception and experience, but the wings do influence.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also inclined to say the wings like our levels of living adopted are informed through nurture and nature.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Often your more dominant wing is heavily influenced by your environment and even your parents' personalities, your birth order, sibling personalities, and cultural influences.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone uses their wings to varying degrees.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Some might use one more often in their work environment and the other in their home environment.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it's common for a person to rely more heavily on one wing over the other.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you think about the wings as salt and pepper, like I mentioned, becoming more aware of how you use them will impact your connection with others.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: As you allow the work of Christ to develop your wholehearted life, you'll begin to see how you can season your life more powerfully.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Not too much salt, not too much pepper, but flavorful enough to leave a good taste.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's also important to note that how you are aligned with the gospel and living as beloved impacts how your wings are accessed and used.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: This will have a major impact on your type and how you perceive the world and are motivated to engage into it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're living healthily and you're growing in your identity as God's adopted, you begin to access and use your personality wings in a more balanced and wholehearted way.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: In just a few minutes, I'll be sharing the inspiring quality of your type's unique wing combination.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: But as with every aspect of the Enneagram, there's a negative and a positive, right?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: As you grow closer to the Lord and believe your belovedness, the transformation causes you to utilize all the personality traits available to you.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: I actually liken the strengthening of our personality wings to being on a paddleboard or in a kayak.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you didn't know this about me, I really love small watercraft.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Not just love it, but being on it.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now, motorized boats, skiing and tubing are fun, but the art and the beauty involved in paddling on bodies of water, well, it's just my favorite.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's soothing, it's rewarding, and requires focus.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Focus because you just can't hop on or off, you have to find your balance and you have to use a double-sided paddle.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the paddle board looks similar to a surfboard, and you most often use it on a lake or a smaller body of water without waves.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can sit on your knees or you can stand, and you can just paddle yourself by dipping one side and then flipping it to the other and stroke your way around to your destination.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Same with a kayak.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: But this is also usually a one-person craft, except for you slide your legs into the hole and you strap yourself in as you sit in row.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Both require you to use two sides of the board that you're on.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Left and right, right, right, left, left.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now each time I get on a paddle board or kayak, I'm struck about what the sport teaches me about balance and how it strengthens me differently.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because almost any time I get the chance to be out on body of water, the weather is always different.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, sometimes it's been cold, other times hot and windy, maybe really breezy, and on the rare occasion I do get ideal conditions.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: But each time, because of the elements and the weather, I have to find a different rhythm of paddling.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's perfect.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's right, then left, and right, then left.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: But most of the time, unless I want to paddle in circles, I have to dip that paddle in to see how far I can get it before I need to go correct and head the other direction and paddle in the other direction and go back and forth and just till I figure out that I could, you know, go how I need to go and go the way I need to go and how the weather is going to impact the direction that I glide on the water.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Rarely have I found that paddling is a perfect rhythm.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I really constantly have to keep vigilant about where I'm headed and be aware of which side I'm paddling on and where my craft is taking me.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is the paddle keeping me pointed in the right direction and the destination that I want to go?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I overcorrecting and about to spin in a circle and head into rougher waters?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: I've come to love the process and the challenge.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: I could see it as a setback, or I could see it as an opportunity to not grow complacent and be mindful whenever I get on the water and whenever I engage in my favorite sport.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: I also see how the sport strengthens me.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it'll strengthen me more on the right side than my left side, but if I walk away, it means I've gotten to my destination.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't paddle around in circles and I gained more balance in my body.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So the same idea can be applied with taking time to better understand how your personality more naturally leans.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: If you lean to one side, you might need to be aware of how you can access the other wing's character traits for a time as you strengthen your personality.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: If you hit rough waters in life, you might have to use one wing more than the other.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: The idea is to be vigilant about where you are headed and keep yourself pointed in the direction by accessing both wings of your personality and to stop spinning in circles.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And like all things with the Enneagram, discovering your dominant wing is fun.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And trust me, I recently did a series on Enneagram wings on Instagram, and that clearly was one of your favorite series so far.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's fun, it's exciting, but don't just like the meme or get the t-shirt in the mug.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Use the information now to help you stop flying or spinning in circles.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you'd appreciate hearing the variances of each type's distinct wing.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's fascinating to see how the dominant wing of each type gives insight about how one appears and the differences it presents in each personality.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much more to explain about the Enneagram wing combination, but today, in this episode, I'm sharing the descriptions that provide the most contrast between each wing combination.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, as I share these high points with you, you can check out the written post that I mentioned at Wholehearted Enneagram on Instagram.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'll link the two different series there as I've shared details on wings and other highlights of Enneagram types.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now this insight is key as you desire to stop flying in circles and move forward in life and love.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm going to start with the Enneagram Eights.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Experts recommend that when you're sharing about the Enneagram, that you should start with the Eights.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And because I have a wing eight, I tend to do the complete opposite.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: I know that sounds a little crazy, but I like to mix it up because I'm a seven and I haven't started with the eights for a long time.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: So today we're jumping right at we're jumping right in at the Enneagram 8.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: So the Enneagram 8 is going to have a wing seven or a wing nine.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: When you contrast those, there's lots of different qualities or there's different ways that they will show up.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: But the eight wing seven is going to be more energetic, while the eight-wing nine is going to be strong.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 9 is going to have an 8-wing and it's going to have a 1-wing.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: The 9-wing eight is going to be more assertive, and the 9-wing 1 is going to be more compliant.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now, as we go around in the circle in a clockwise fashion, we are at the Enneagram 1s.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 1 is going to have a wing 9 and a wing 2.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: The 1-wing 9 is going to be a little bit more relaxed, whereas the 1-wing 2 is going to be more controlled.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 2 will have a wing 1 and a wing 3.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: The 2-wing 1 is going to be slightly more idealistic, and the 2-wing three is going to be more ambitious.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 3 is going to have a wing 2 or a wing 4.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: The 3-wing 2 is going to be more sociable.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: The 3-wing 4 is going to be a little bit more introspective.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 4 is going to have a wing 3 or a wing five.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: The 4-wing three is going to be more ambitious, whereas the 4-wing five is going to appear more reserved.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 5 is going to have a wing 4 or a wing 6.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: The 5-wing 4 is going to be more sensitive, whereas the 5-wing six is going to be more skeptical.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 6 is going to have a wing five or a wing seven.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: The six-wing five is going to be more cautious, but the six-wing seven, they're going to appear more playful.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: And last but not least, the Enneagram 7.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 7 is going to have a wing 6 or a wing 8.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: The 7 wing 6 is going to be more consistent, whereas the 7 wing 8 is going to appear more competitive.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now remember, it's insights like these when you take time to consider how they apply to your life, well, they can bring some transformation, more balance, more ease, and more joy to your relationships.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you joining me not only today, but here on this listening platform.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: I really value what you contribute to the community.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, while you decide which episode you're going to listen to next, would you do me a favor and make sure that you are following the Simply Wholehearted Podcast and then leave a five-star review?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: When you share your top takeaways or your favorite episodes, it really does let others know what to expect when they discover the podcast.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, dear friend, you are the mom your kids need.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for the wholehearted life you desire.