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The Fifth Hour: Not So Lucky Charms · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kubbooms.
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  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
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  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: In the air everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
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  Speaker 1: Radio America America. I know it's Independence Day today. We
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: are recording this early in the am hours. Here you
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  Speaker 1: listen when you want to listen this fourth of July
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  Speaker 1: weekend as we celebrate the birthday of America by doing
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  Speaker 1: a very American thing, a podcast. And here we are
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  Speaker 1: and a super special edition of the podcast, which we're
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: calling I think this is appropriate because it's Independence Day.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Irish eyes are evil. Irish eyes are evil. So if
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  Speaker 1: you've read the podcast description, you probably know already what
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: this is about.
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  Speaker 3: It's a bit of a cheat code.
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  Speaker 1: This podcast for the one percent of the one percent
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  Speaker 1: who listened to the overnight show and are fans of
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: audio and that would be you. It's like members only here.
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  Speaker 1: It's a special cult that listens to this fifth hour podcast,
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  Speaker 1: especially on a holiday weekend like this. So if you
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  Speaker 1: did not, for some reason scan the description of the pod,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: maybe you missed it. The Malar Militia. Let's go back
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: in the hot tub time machine to earlier this week.
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  Speaker 1: It is the story that everyone is to talking about
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: that is a fan of the show. How does one
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: handle some unexpected lucky charms? If you will, so my
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: thoughts on the incident that happened. I've got soap mascot
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Clint Eastwood, and employee handbook, and we are going to
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  Speaker 1: combine all of these things together and make soda bread
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  Speaker 1: and shepherd's pie something you should not eat on Independence
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  Speaker 1: Day weekend. And if you're in Ireland, it's just another day.
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  Speaker 1: So first of all, picture if you will. It's high noon, daytime,
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  Speaker 1: classic sunny day in LA It's always sunny, not in Philadelphia.
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  Speaker 1: In Los Angeles, normal human beings are roaming earth, not
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  Speaker 1: us night shift vampires. These are daytime people. And now
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  Speaker 1: entering the scene is our radio power, the one and
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  Speaker 1: only Mike the Leprechaun.
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  Speaker 3: You know the guy, right, He's from Boston.
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  Speaker 1: He sounds like he's gargling Lucky charms, yeah, that guy
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  Speaker 1: while yelling about the Celtics, and so he decides to
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  Speaker 1: show up to the Fox Sports radio studios in Los Angeles.
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  Speaker 1: Now keep in mind that this is roughly ten hours
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  Speaker 1: early for the big in studio experience and appearance. Ten hours.
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  Speaker 1: He's got more enthusiasm than a bright eyed, bushy tailed
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  Speaker 1: rookie at the NFL Combine, And of course he also
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: has less sense than a Boston Red Sox fan betting
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  Speaker 1: on this team to win the World Series in twenty
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: twenty five. But for those of you in the back
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: of the room who think somehow that we live in
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: the magic radio box, I promise you, I promise you
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  Speaker 1: that is not true.
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  Speaker 3: Spoiler alert, we don't. I am not here during the day.
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  Speaker 1: Now. I did do some fill in radio. We'll talk
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: about that as we get through the weekend. And so
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  Speaker 1: that was rare and appropriate, rare and appropriate. I got
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: the call out of the bullpen to do some daytime radio.
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  Speaker 1: But typically I am sleeping in my coffin, if you will.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I don't sleep long, but I try to get a
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: snooze in during the day and I'm dreaming of Dodger
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  Speaker 1: World Series wins and Rams, Super Bowls and Clipper Championships,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: all the things that happen on a regular basis. So
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I start making some calls. I sent some texts out,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: and here's what I've gotten from my boots on the ground. Apparently,
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  Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun attempted to waltz in to the station midday, wearing,
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  Speaker 1: from what I'm told, a green outfit that screams I
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: lost a bet with a Saint Patrick's Day parade. I
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: somehow lost the bet, and here I am so in
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: my head that cartoon bubble over my head. I'm sure
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Mallard prop guy will probably make some AI thing out
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  Speaker 1: of this, But in my head, Mike the Leprechaun's got
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  Speaker 1: a shamrock shirt on, possibly one of those fake beards,
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  Speaker 1: and he's likely carrying a pot of gold replica, not
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  Speaker 1: a real pot of gold, but a pot of gold
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  Speaker 1: replica he bought at Party City before they went out
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  Speaker 1: of business, and he's jingling louder than a slot machine
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  Speaker 1: in Vegas paying out. Of course, they don't actually give
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  Speaker 1: the coins anymore, but if they did, you know that
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  Speaker 1: sound they make where you want a jackpot for Some
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  Speaker 1: of this is just in my head.
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  Speaker 3: So what happens next? So I'll tell you what happens next.
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  Speaker 1: The daytime crew, those poor coffee addicted souls who were
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  Speaker 1: stuck in stiff daytime radio, they thought they were being invaded.
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  Speaker 1: I'm convinced the people that worked during the day at
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  Speaker 1: the company thought they were being invaded by a deranged
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  Speaker 1: soap mascot who was going to throw Irish spring, bars
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  Speaker 1: of Irish spring like hand grenades at them, and it
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: would explode and they'd be covered in Irish spring. Now
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: turning the page two. So this of course triggered a
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  Speaker 1: wild chain reaction. Of course it did. Now keep in mind,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sleeping while this is going on. Well, some of management,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I want to be clear, not all of management. Some
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  Speaker 1: of management went deaf con one. They didn't reach out
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  Speaker 1: to me and asked me what happened or what I
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: knew about the situation. They made some assumptions. They made
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  Speaker 1: some assumptions without talking to me. So I'm told there
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: was an email Shane that was bouncing around and might
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  Speaker 1: as well have had the subject line urgent unidentified leprechaun
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  Speaker 1: in the lobby.
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  Speaker 3: Of course limited joking.
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  Speaker 1: Now, from what I've heard, and a lot of this
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: is second hand, and much of what you hear secondhand
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  Speaker 1: is embellished, some of the daytime shifters likely need a
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  Speaker 1: miniature horse, some kind of therapy animal from the Leprechaun
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  Speaker 1: paying a visit. Think of a remake of the Clint
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  Speaker 1: Eastwood movie Escape from Alcatraz Island, except this is a
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  Speaker 1: horror movie script written by a Celtic fan who just
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: watched Jason Tatum go snap, crackle pop his achilles anyway
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: in the playoffs. So Hr is probably freaking out because
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Mike's asking everyone, you know, if they've seen his magic
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  Speaker 1: Shealey for all I know, because he said, you know,
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  Speaker 1: he's a fun guy, he's a goofball, He's a character.
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  Speaker 1: We love characters, and Mike the Leprechaun as a character.
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  Speaker 1: Now I didn't know this until I met him. You know,
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  Speaker 1: Mike was probably offering the Midday Crew Leprechaun blessings and
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  Speaker 1: all that for a better ratings book.
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  Speaker 3: So we assume we don't know for sure.
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  Speaker 1: We assume Michael Leprecaun was trying to pitch a segment
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  Speaker 1: called Shamrock Shake Sports Talk right there, in the Smurf kitchen,
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  Speaker 1: the bright blue smurf kitchen at the hallowed Fox Sports
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  Speaker 1: Radio building.
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  Speaker 3: Now, the cherry on top.
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  Speaker 1: Of this Irish stew of insanity is the text message
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  Speaker 1: I got from someone who will remain.
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  Speaker 3: Nameless in management.
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  Speaker 1: You know, the suits, the guys who think overnight radio
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  Speaker 1: it's all just fun and you know, just some frivolity
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  Speaker 1: and all that, and they don't take it that seriously.
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  Speaker 1: So the message is essentially dripping with the corporate speak,
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  Speaker 1: you know, typical rage and the vibe.
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  Speaker 3: I God, I was somewhat annoyed by this.
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  Speaker 1: Because it made it seem like I personally told Mike
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  Speaker 1: the Leprechaun to storm the castle, storm the tressel u
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  Speaker 1: Irish Leprechaun.
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  Speaker 3: The vibe was, hey, mallor control your callers.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Now.
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  Speaker 1: No one asked me anything about They just like sent
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  Speaker 1: me back like essentially, control your callers. This is a
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  Speaker 1: professional operation, not some kind of odd renaissance fair. So yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, right, you know, like tell that
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  Speaker 1: to the guy who's been calling the show for a
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: couple of years now, Mike the leprechan claiming essentially he's
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: probably got a direct line to the sweet spirit, the
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  Speaker 1: ghost of Red Arbach. I don't doubt that he's probably
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  Speaker 1: got that. So story continues, and clearly, before I get
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: going any further, Mike the Leprechaun clearly thinks time zones
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  Speaker 1: work like a mythical pot of gold.
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  Speaker 3: The fact that he would show up that early, so.
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  Speaker 1: Again he's got the daytime staff running for cup like
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: in my head, like they're dodging, like TJ. Watt is
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  Speaker 1: decided he wanted to blitz the studio, and so now
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  Speaker 1: I'm the one. I'm the one getting the stinky from
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  Speaker 1: the you know, the management people like you know, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, what are you doing? I did not
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  Speaker 1: I did not lead anyone down this path. This is
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  Speaker 1: like blaming. If I'll use this, I used TJ. Watt
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  Speaker 1: as an example. This is like blaming Mike Tomlin for
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  Speaker 1: Aaron Rodgers getting a one year deal with the Seilers.
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  Speaker 1: Like listen, I've done a lot of crazy things. It's
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  Speaker 1: part of being a radio guy. I did not create
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  Speaker 1: the chaos. I was just being polite. Mike had been
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  Speaker 1: begging to come.
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  Speaker 3: To the studio.
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  Speaker 1: He had reached out to me, and I gave him
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  Speaker 1: the date. We went back and forth on dates. I said,
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  Speaker 1: that's the date I'll be there. This is the time
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  Speaker 1: roughly we'll be there. And you know, I didn't create
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the cast. I'm just commenting on it. I'm doing the
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: commentary on the chaos. So and again, a lot of
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  Speaker 1: this happened. I wasn't there. I was miles and miles away,
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  Speaker 1: bunkered at the Malor Mansion. And according to the building
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  Speaker 1: security guard, who I have no idea, like, I'm there
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: at night, the security guards at night are barely there.
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  Speaker 1: They're usually on food runs or they're sleeping or playing
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  Speaker 1: on their phone. So, according to the security at the building,
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  Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun was about as charming as getting a
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: flat tire on the four to zero five freeway here
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  Speaker 1: in LA and rush hour like he apparently scared the
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  Speaker 1: daylights out of the security And I really don't know
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: why when I met him, because we've had crazier, zanier,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: wacky people that have walked in and visited us on
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: the show. And you know, listen, I love the people
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: that are part of the show and the characters that
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: make the show what it is, and some of you
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: are out there. I've met some people on the spectrum.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: But you've all been very polite for the most part.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: You're just over the top and you're extroverts, and I'm
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: an introvert, so I don't really understand that world. But
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you for supporting what we do here, the
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: product that we put out on a daily basis. And
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: without you, we don't get to go into the factory.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So the people during the day were all freaked out.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Way bottom line here, bottom line. So HR is probably
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: writing a new iHeartRadio employee handbook, chapter titled leprechan Protocol.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: And I want to.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Circle back to what I had said earlier.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Listen, I do love the enthusiasm, and I have said
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: it for many, many years, and I will continue to
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: say it. Radio just means a little more to people
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: that listen at night. That is special. It's something again
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: that we don't just toss to the side, and it's
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: something that the daytime crew will never understand unless they've
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: done overnights and done the nighttime shift. And now listen,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: if you work the daytime shift, you get paid a
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: lot more money, They treat you pretty good, You get
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: to go on trips and they you know, they'll send
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: you to the Super Bowl and all that, so that
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: those are all cool things and it's just a little
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  Speaker 1: bit different now. That said that said, for every man,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: woman and child, you should know that you cannot just
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: storm the FSR studios like it's the Battle of Bunker Hill,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: like Mike the Leprechaun.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: It is a place of business. There are rules.
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  Speaker 1: I've told many of you that have come by, like
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: normally you can come by and you.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Can only stay for it the most an hour, that's it.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: And we've had everyone from Sean the hood Guy, Robbie
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: the Mariner fan, We've had Sir for Todd the comedian
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: that has come by, and of course Jays Scoop has
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: been in many times the Great inca terror and for
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: the most part, everyone followed the rules. This is the
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: first time I can recall that something like this has happened.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: No one's ever shown up that early, all right, that's
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: never happened. There was one incident, whether there were a
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: couple of things that happen. We had robbed the ambassador
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: of Bakersfield, God bless him, and he brought a buddy
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: of his who, unfortunately we had to to send away
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: shortly after they arrived. He was a little intoxicated and
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: making some people in the building uncomfortable. So obviously you
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: don't want to have someone in there that's making other
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: people uncomfortable because that's become his issue. And so I'll
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: kick you out right away. I'll kick you out right away.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: And there was also God, I forget it. I think
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: it was like, I'm not gonna even give her name
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: because I don't want trouble. I don't want to get sued.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: But there was a listener years ago, a female listener,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: who brought some red velvet cake and it was delicious,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: and she was really nervous, and I get it, you know,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: it's weird, you're in a new environment. And she was
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: very nice, young lady, and as I remember she, she
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: was really shy. And then she went into the bathroom,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: the powder room, and she came out of the powder
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: room and was bouncing off the walls, just like the
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: most interesting person in the world. And I don't know
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: for sure that she did what I think she did
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: in the bathroom, but I wouldn't be shocked if something
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: was snorted, if you know what I mean. Because it
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: was a total metamorphosis, like next level metamorphosis, and so
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: something happened. I don't know what she was doing, but
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I'll never really probably know. But man, so the point
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: we mentioned the bottom line here, So now management's likely
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: got me on a very short leash and I wasn't
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: exactly their favorite night owl to begin with. Right, So
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: now I can add having having an email chain sent
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: to the company employees and a angry text message. I
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: can add that to years ago having my male band
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: for not one, not two, not three, not four, no five?
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: How about six months? Again, nothing I did.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: So Doc Mike, who doesn't really call a show much anymore,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: he still texts me or calls me every once in
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: a while off the air.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: So Doc Mike from Chicago, you got the Doc.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: He's the guy famously during the pandemic who was booking
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: urine therapists and other guests on the air for urine therapy.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: So my man, Doc's been a semi regular contributor for
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: when he's not in jail or traveling around for twenty years.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Over twenty years, Doc's been a fan of the show,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: and so he goes way back, we go by him.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Doc was a young guy. He's an old guy now.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I was middle aged when he started listening. I was
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: really an old guy. I've been doing this a long time.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: So Doc famously sent a goat head in the mail
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and so one of the management people got very upset
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: with me, and this was rightfully. So this, you know,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: the thing that happened with Mike the Leprek, and I
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: feel that in many ways that was an overreaction. But
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: with Doc, Mike like the male thing. And again this
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: is another situation where I did not tell him to
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: do it, but Doc sent a goatthead, which would have
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: been fine if the package had not started dripping blood
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: in the mail room. And so that's like a hasmat situation.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Ove So the iHeart and mail people as you would
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: imagine if there's a package with someone's name on it
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: and there's like some kind of fluid which may or
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: may not be blood tripping out of it. Like did
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: somebody send body parts to Ben? Well, it was body parts,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: but it was from a goat farm somewhere in Iowa.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: And this is again a situation where I didn't tell Doc.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: To sent it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: I told him I don't need a goathhead. He said,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you need a godhead. I'm going to send you a GoAhead.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: This was back before the Cubs had won the World Series.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So Doc and when Doc assumed that by us getting
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: a GoAhead, the Cubs would win the World Series, which, oh,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: by the way, it took about god. I think this
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: was like three when they were on that playoff run.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: So it took another thirteen years for it to work.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: But eventually it did work. Eventually it did work.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: So I have a public service announcement. This is a.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Fifth hour ben malor public service announcement for all future
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: pe ones who are fortunate enough to get the invite
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: or force themselves and invite themselves and get the chance
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: to walk in the hollowed hallways of Fox Sports Radio Studios.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: This is not Disneyland, it's not Universal Studios, it's not SeaWorld.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Although some of.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: The people that work there look like they could work
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: at all of those places, or be attractions at all
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: of those places.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: We have a lot of goofy people. There's a few
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: of us that look like shambou So that's a dated reference.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: But anyway, so just in the future, if you're coming
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: to visit the nighttime show, don't go during the day.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Leave the daytime people alone. Those sweet spirits. During the
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: day they cannot handle you. They don't get me, and
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: they certainly can't handle you. And I'm convinced it's going
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: to take a long time for them to recover from
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: what we are calling the Sheleley Shenanigans that took place.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: So Mike was very kind, Michael Leprechaun. He brought a
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: lot of gifts. That Lorena was away. You know, Coop's
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: been gone forever, so they were all gone. But I
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: was there, and it's my name's on the show, it's
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: my product. And Mike was apologetic. He had a different
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: version of events than I got from management. I wish
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I'd known that I would have let management know his
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: side of the story. They only got one side of
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: the story, and that's the side they chose to go with.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: He apologized.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: He said he was just excited. He wanted to see
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: where the studio was.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: He booked a hotel room down the street because he
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to be right there. And I still remember when
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I went. We had a meeting place and I told Mike,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I said, listen, it was forty five minutes in the show.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I said, Mike, I'm going to go out. I'm going
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: to open the door, come in. And so I opened
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: the door looking for Mike to Leprecaun. Now I've never
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: met him at this point. This was at night after
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: the whole daytime fireworks show, which is appropriate this Fourth
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: of July weekend. So Mike the Leprechaun is standing on
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: the other side at the corner of Sepalveta and Ventura,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: so he's on He's across the street from the studios
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: on Sepulveda. He then I'm like, I'm waving at him
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: because i only have a couple of minutes I gotta
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: get back in the studio, And so I'm waving at
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun frantically trying to get him to cross
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: the street, very busy street in Los Angeles in the
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: San Fernando Valley, and Sherman Oak's there to get him
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: to cross a crossover and Mike is talking to like
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: some homeless guy at the bus stop across the street
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: and decides, well, I'm not going to walk down to
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: the crosswalk, and I'm certainly not going to run down
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: to the crosswalk. I'm just gonna slowly walk across Sepulvita Boulevard.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: And he took us time. La La la la, la
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: la la. Because leprechauns can't walk fast are leprechauns. He's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: the world's tallest leprechaun, And so he slowly walked across
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: the street and I escorted him in. He was carrying
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: bags of gifts because that's what lepercuns do, and there
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: you go. So I did inform Mike the leprekhn because
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: he was apologetic, and he's a big fan of the
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: show and he's probably gonna hear this at some point.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Maybe he's listening right now.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: We told Mike, we said, listen, we're not banning you.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: You're getting us in trouble. We're not going to banish you.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: We're not going to send you to the end of
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: the rainbow, although we'd like if you could go to
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: the end of the rainbow and send us some gold coins.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: But he did bring some chocolate gold coins, so that
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: was very kind of him. All Right, we have a
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: little time left, a little time left on the on
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: the pod, so some food he fun. I thought this
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: would be appropriate as I did a bonus Mallard monologue
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: there on Mike the Leprechaun. Foody fun very popular. I know,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: nico A big fan of this in Vancouver loves it,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: and many of the people we met at the Vancouver
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Meet and Greet a while back, big fans, big fans.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: So this is a day in America where it's all
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: about barbecue, burgers, hot dogs and all those are traditional
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: foods eaten this Independence Day weekend. The taste of America.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: It is interesting to note that is you might imagine
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty years ago, things were a little
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: bit different. In fact, not just a little bit different,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: they were a hell of a lot different back back
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: in the day. And twenty years is a generation. So
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: if you go back.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Two hundred and fifty years, let's do some malor math
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: on that.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Two hundred and fifty divided by twenty, so that is
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: twelve and a half generations ago, twelve and a half
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: generations on American soil, since the beginning of modern America.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: The Founding Fathers twelve and a half generations ago, their
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: taste buds were not quite like our taste buds, and
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: they loved booze. Now we still love booze, and we're
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: told those that have studied the Founding Fathers. They celebrated
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: the July fourth Light, which I guess it wasn't really
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: ratified till a couple days after that, but four whatever.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: So they celebrated with amounts of large amounts of booze,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: so large that beer drinking Brian thought it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: Was a little too much back in his day.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And yeah, so very expensive oysters as well, and if
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you compare it to today's palette.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Many of the Founding fathers I saw this this week.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: I thought this was interesting.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Now. A lot of them resided right near the Delaware
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: and the Potomac Rivers, a couple of famous bodies of
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: water in America, and they were ahead of their time.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: They loved the term farmed a table.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Now. Back then they just called it eating, but that
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: was the norm, farmed a table. There weren't grocery stores everywhere,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: and in fact there were nowhere, and mostly ate seafood.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: That was the main food back in the day. And
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: they were not eating Maryland crab cakes like sports with
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Coleman or Maine lobster rolls like or lobster lobster like
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: our friends in Maine led by you know who, that's right,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: whoopee Pie Blair never heard of this cracker. So the
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Founding Fathers consumed crab oyster and something called shad sh
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: a d which apparently from what I have read, is
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: that was like that was George Washington his go to
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Like George Washington loved that, love that, and I think
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: that's a fishing bait company. Now, I believe that's a
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I think that's a fishing bait company. Now. The other
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: thing they love to eat is or eight. The founding
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: fathers was turtle soup, Holy teenage mutant, ninja turtles, batman.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: They ate that with great abundance, great abundance stuff. By
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: the way, shad fish, they say it's the term shad
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: refers to the several species within the Alosenia subfamily, primarily
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: found along the Atlantic coast of North America and all
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: the way from Newfoundland in Canada to Florida, and it's
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: also been introduced in the Pacific coast. These days typically
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: have green blue and green back, silvery sides, white underbelly.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: They grow to be as much as twelve pounds.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: That was the fish that George Washington like, I've seen
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: these here in SoCal Catalina Island. I swear I've seen those,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: unless I was imagining it, I have seen that fish
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: it looks very, very familiar. So that's what George Washington ate.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: That's what a lot of these guys ate. And we
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: are told the turtles were harvested from bodies of fresh water.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: John Adams who would become known as a beer meister,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: John Adams, who who was not very successful at beer
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: back in his day. He dined on salmon and turtle
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: soup with his wife, the lovely Abigail in seventeen seventy six,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: topped the meal off with her famous apple pie dowdy,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: which we are told of some kind of cobbler. Of
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: all the food so far, the only thing I would
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: eat would be the cobbler. Not a fan of the
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: crab oyster, the shad fish, not into that. The turtle soup, No,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I'm good. So the only thing I eat so far
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: is the apple pan dowdy from Abigail, the Great Abigail Adams.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: They ate peas, don't really like peas. That was they
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: boiled the potatoes. I'd eat the potatoes. Eat the potatoes.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I wonder if they did mashed potatoes. Probably not. It's
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: calling potatoes back then. And so those were the common
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: side dishes. And they had the hoe cakes whatever that
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: is cornmeal hoe cakes, Okay, So I'd eat the corn
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: cake or the cornmeal cakes, the apple pandowdy, I'd eat
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: the boiled potatoes.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: So I could eat some of this stuff.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: If I was invited, if we went on that TV
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: show Quantum Leap, and we went back to the beginning
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: with the Founding fathers, I would be able to eat
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: at the tab. I wouldn't eat the main dish, but
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: I eat the side dish. Now, the gentlemen who were
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: from further south when America was from James Madison, for example,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: from what we read, they enjoyed pork.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: It's the other white meat that like rice. I could
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: eat rice. They had peas called hopin John. I do
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: have no idea what that is.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Now. My man Benjamin Franklin, good old Ben Franklin, he loved,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: of course turkey. Yeah, I eat turkey. My mom loved
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: turkey too. That's probably why she named me Benjamin Franklin.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: She loved Actually I was named after a relative. But anyway,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: so there you go. They say that all of these gentlemen,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: the founding father they downed their amazing amounts of crab
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: and oysters.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: And pork and Turkey and.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: All this stuff with massive amounts of alcohol. They also
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: had some desserts as well. John Adams, as you might imagine,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: was a big booze guy. He loved morning booze, loved hardsider, hardsider,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: George Washington, loved all kinds of beer, loved it. Thomas Jefferson,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you know, he had that French palate, and so he
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: liked all that annoying French food like champagne. Now, the
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: interesting thing that I saw here about Thomas Jefferson, and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: this is where we should really thank Thomas Jefferson. He
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: brought a lot of foods to America because they had
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: you know, the Native Americans were here with the American
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: foods from England and from Europe and all that. So
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: from France he brought. And this is said to be
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: of all the foods that Thomas Jefferson brought, this is
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: said to be the one that was his biggest accomplishment,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: ice cream. He is said to have made ice cream
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: a desirable, beloved institution in America. And now it was
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: considered an upper class delicacy around that time, and a
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: lot of the founding fathers of James Madison Hamilton, they
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: loved ice cream, right, they loved it. And there was
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: you know, there's other stuff. There was Martha, George Washington's wife.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Martha made a amazing cake. It was like a spiced
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: cake supposedly had all kinds of nuts and fruits and
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: booze and all that. So there you go. All right,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful Fourth of
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: July weekend. Danny should be joining me tomorrow. Hopefully the
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: timing on that works out. Danny is away for the
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: holiday weekend, so hopefully we'll catch up with Danny. And
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: where are the white women at.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Have a wonderful, glorious, glorious.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Fourth of July. One other food he note before I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: forget some of you sent me this story, and I
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: don't know what you want me to do with it.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Wienersnitzel the hot dog fast food place. They're selling a
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: trucker hat which has gone viral. It's a trucker hat
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: designed by a fan through a social media vote. It
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: features the slogan just here for the Wieners. It's a
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: for those of you that mind. Is a black and
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: white hat, red lettering. One size fits fits all. Typical
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: trucker hat comes with a snapback because it's a trucker hat.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: It's a limited edition. It's only ten dollars, which is
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: an amazing deal. Of course, you're going to be like
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: a NASCAR driver selling Wiener Stincil. And what a brilliant
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: marketing move. Because they have right above just here for
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: the Wieners, they have the Wiener Stincil logo. So supplies
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: are limited, first come, first serve at each venue. We
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: are told that in some venues this has already sold out,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: so if you're interested in.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: That, you might want to make a run to the sausage.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Anyway, have a wonderful rest of your day and check
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: us out this weekend. We'll have new podcasts and all
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: the amazing fun and we'll catch you then, got a murder,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: I gotta go.