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57: In B2B sales, how to tell someone you agree with them without using words · Cyber Go-To-Market Talk: The Cybersecurity Podcast About Cyber Sales, Marketing & Revenue Growth

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your torso is a powerful tool in nonverbal communications.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Find out why and how to use it from Joe Navarro in his book, What Everybody Is Saying.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Bite-Size Sales Podcast, where we believe that sales is the most important team in a B2B company, that the sales team deserves great sales training delivered online because it sucks spending days out of the field or off the phones.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we believe that taking bite-sized steps each day to get better at your craft is the best way to improve your results.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Andrew Monahan, and I'm using my 20 plus years in B2B sales to bring you simple, actionable ideas that you can use every day to help you get better.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is sponsored by Sales Bluebird.
• 1:24
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• 1:33
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• 1:46
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• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to episode 57 of the podcast.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's another beautiful day in Colorado, and I'm facing the window in my office here to show the day how much I appreciate it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, not really, that'd be kind of weird, right?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: But if I was actually talking to someone, us with our bodies facing each other would show alignment with what we're talking about.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what uh Joe Navarro talks about in one section of his book, What Everybody Has Saying.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And Joe Navarro is a reminder as the ex-FBI agent who's written this great book about nonverbal communications.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just read directly from the book to put this in context.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Torso displays that reflect the limbic brain's need to distance and avoid are very good indicators of true sentiments.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: When one person in a relationship feels that something is wrong with the way things are going, he or she is most likely sensing a subtle degree of physical distancing in his or her partner.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: The distancing can also take the form of what I call ventral denial.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Our ventral, which is our front side, where our eyes, mouth, chest, breast, genitals, etc.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: are located, is very sensitive to things we like and dislike.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: When things are good, we expose our ventral sides toward what we favor, including those people who make us feel good.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: When things go wrong, relationships change, or even when topics are discussed that we disfavor, we will engage in ventral denial by shifting or turning away.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: The opposite of ventral denial is ventral exposure, or as I like to call it, ventral fronting.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: We display our ventral sides to those we favor.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: When our children come running to us for a hug, we move objects, even our arms, out of the way so that we can give them access to our ventral sides.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We ventrally front because this is where we feel the most warmth and comfort.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we use the phrase turning our back to express negativity towards someone or something because we offer our ventral sides to those we care for and our backs to those that we don't.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Colleagues who share a similar point of view will sit closer together, turn more toward each other eventually, and will lean harmoniously nearer each other.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: When people disagree, they will hold their bodies firm, avoid ventral fronting unless they're challenged, and will most likely lean away from each other.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: This behavior subconsciously tells others, I am not in agreement with your idea.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: As with all nonverbals, these actions need to be analyzed in context.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: For example, people new to a job may seem stiff and inflexible at a meeting.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Rather than reflecting dislike or disagreement, this rigid posture and limited arm activity may simply indicate that they are nervous in a new environment.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not only can we use this information to read the body language of others, but we must also always remember that we are projecting our own nonverbals.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: During conversations or meetings, as information and opinions flow, our feelings about the news and viewpoints will flow and be reflected in our ever-changing nonverbal behaviors.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: If we hear something distasteful one minute and something favorable the next, our bodies will reflect this in our feelings.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: A very powerful way to let others know that you agree with them or are consciously contemplating what they are saying is to lean towards them or to eventually front them.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: This tactic is especially effective when you're in a meeting and you don't have the opportunity to speak up.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's read straight from Joe Navarro's book, What Everybody Is Saying.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, there was probably three main things to pull out of this.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: One is be very careful with our own body language.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we're talking with someone or talking to a few people, does our body language align with what we are saying?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are we saying one thing and perhaps our body language is is giving off a different signal?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is something we've got to be careful of to make sure someone that we're talking to or working with doesn't misunderstand what we're saying, read us wrong either consciously or subconsciously.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing it did for me was remind me that even when not speaking, especially in in sales meetings, right?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you got yourself and maybe one or two others from your side and a number, anything what from two, three up to up to ten people from their side, you know, when you it's not your turn to speak, which is probably gonna happen a lot, are you displaying the right body language, right?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is your tarso aligned to someone you want it to be aligned with, or are you, without realizing it, kind of facing away from someone and then might read in read too much into your in into how you're sitting and where you're facing.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So be very careful when when you're not speaking to make sure your body language is is is giving off the right uh vibe with your tarso.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then thirdly, what it did for me was you know, in these meetings as well, look for those who are fronting or or backing, right?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Look for those, especially when you've got teams where that from their side, there's multiple teams in the room, and you you don't miss a light, you can sense there's some tension there, but you know, look for the ones that are facing away from each other, look for the ones that naturally are warmer leading in and facing towards each other, and look for those alliances, look for the ones where there's comfort or discomfort in what's being said by different groups and see what you can learn from that.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that was it for me.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they they say that uh body language makes up 55% of our communication.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make sure that we use it effectively.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you like this episode, the single most useful thing you could do to support this podcast is share it with your sales network.
• 8:03
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• 8:05
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• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It will mean the world to me and it could make a difference to those you share it with.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I need your suggestions, please.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a topic you want me to cover or just want to get in touch, simply email me at upside at unstoppable.bo.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's upside at unstoppable.do.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And now to wrap up, training without implementation is just entertainment.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And pretty poor entertainment when I deliver it.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure you take action on what you learned today and keep getting it better and better each and every day.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Also, this world does not need more sales BS.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't create any more.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Be great at the fundamentals, be honest, be real, be yourself, just do not BS.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, I'm signing off as the great Joe Sexton Wood by saying gone to sell.