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My Kid’s Being Rude and Office Furniture Fu*kery · You're Not Too Much

0:00
There was picking the carpet, which to me, it was like,
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here's a swatch of carpet. Do you like it? Yes. Get that one. That is
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not how my husband's brain works. You cannot
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judge your success by anybody else's. And anybody
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who wants to judge yours by theirs
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can get bent and get
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bent hard. I said to my husband, I'm gonna buy a new desk. And he
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was like, I'm not letting you put a new desk in that office until that
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carpet's out of there. And I was like, I'm not letting you put a new
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desk in this office until that carpet's out of. Don't tell me what to do.
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He was kind of right. It did smell like funky ass dog in here.
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Boop. Hi, everybody. I'm Lauren Howard.
0:41
Welcome to Different Not Broken, which is our
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podcast on exactly that. That there are a lot of people in this world walking
0:48
around feeling broken, and the reality is you're just different, and that's fine.
0:55
You should know that I am officially the mother of a
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10 year old, which is rude
1:03
and kind of bullshit because nobody told her that she was
1:06
allowed to do that. I certainly did not. She did not ask my
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permission. People keep telling me that I need to stop feeding her if I
1:14
want her to stop growing, but they whine a lot when you don't feed them.
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They, like, constantly ask for food, and so
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that's not an option. She's also in the middle of a growth spurt, and she's
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eating 10 times what I do. It's
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a little scary to watch in that it's also fascinating and
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amazing to watch. So 10 years ago, yesterday
1:37
night, I was finally getting around
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and by finally, three days after the fact, getting around to unpacking
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all of the swag from our baby shower, which my mom
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had booked or scheduled for when I was 34 weeks
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pregnant. And me being pregnant for the first time
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and not understanding how things work
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said, I don't know, that seems really early. She was like, no, I don't think
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it's early. And I was like, I don't know, it feels pretty early. And she
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was like, I don't think it's early. I was like, okay. And so
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we had a lovely baby shower on a Saturday.
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And the following Thursday, I was
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organizing things and doing the very,
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very beginnings of what I believe now was nesting that I
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didn't get to do much of, and touching all the
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things and looking at all the tiny clothes and going to pee every
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45 seconds because she was, like, elbowing my bladder
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Constantly. And feeling like
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you're at the point where you're like, this is enough. I don't need to do
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this any longer. She's probably fine, right? And no, don't do
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that. You should not have a baby at 34 weeks. But that was how I
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felt at the time. I can't say this too much because I was only ever
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pregnant for seven months. But you do get to seven months and you're like, this
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is enough time. Isn't she cooked? And so
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I had been feeling weird all day. And again,
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never been pregnant before. Don't know what versions of weird I should be looking out
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for. And me feeling weird just makes it a Thursday.
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Had been with my dad all day. My dad was pretty sick at the time
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and just had these weird feelings, this weird feeling of
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pressure. Constantly unloaded all the stuff. Looked at him, went, wow, we have
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such lovely friends and family. I can't wait for six weeks from now when we
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get to use all this stuff.
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And said to my husband, you know what? I'm gonna go lay down because I'm
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white. I feel weird. Everything's weird. I'm wiped.
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I'm going to go lay down. And went and laid down. Fell asleep pretty quickly.
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Woke up at like 2 o' clock in the morning because I had to go
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to the bathroom really bad. Went to the bathroom
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and felt this discernible pop
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and went, oh, shit. Called for. My
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husband said, I think my water just broke.
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To which he said, what? No, it didn't. And I was like, I don't know
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that it didn't, but I also don't know that it did. I don't know.
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I just. I think my water just broke. And I think I need to go
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to the hospital. To which he said, okay, give me five minutes to shower.
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And got in the shower while I was standing there with my water
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broken, I think. I didn't know. I didn't know. We didn't know
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what was happening. I had never been pregnant before. This was all brand new. He
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did take a shower. And I tried to drive myself to the hospital because I
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was so fucking mad at him. I was so mad at him that he
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decided that was the time to take a shower. He was like, what was I
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supposed to do? I can't go there dirty. You can't go What? What?
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You can't what? So I tried to drive myself. I could not. I called
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him from my car and said, you need to get out here right now because
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I can't drive. It hurts too much. And he was like, I was coming the
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whole time. And I was like, none of you were in the fucking shower
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anyway. Get to the hospital. They were like,
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oh, well, July 1st is a fun day to have a baby. And I was
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like, nope, this is six. We're supposed to be six weeks from now. We're not
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doing this. And they were like, no, this baby's coming. And I was like, no,
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it's not. You're so silly. No, it's not. And they were like, yes, this baby's
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coming. And I was like, no. I said no. 12 hours later,
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after 12 hours of labor but 23 minutes of active
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pushing, they handed me a baby. And like her mother, she didn't like to
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wait. And she was born six weeks early, but exactly on time.
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And she has become the funniest, silliest, smartest,
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tallest. This child came up to me and put her head on my shoulder last
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week. No. Hard no. Not allowed.
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She's so quick witted. She's got a better pun game than any adult
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I have ever met by a margin of a lot. She blows me away with
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the things that her brain is able to keep up with. She really likes Settlers
5:44
of Catan. She's a big fan of Catan. She
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loves Lord of the Rings. Loves Lord of the Rings. Just
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raising a proper nerd and it feels good. She
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is the light of my life, except for her sister, who is also another light
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of my life. But it's a different light. It's a different light. She is
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like a happy, sunshiny, bright light. And
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my second child is like a black light who exposes all of your deep
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flaws and everything gross on the carpet. That
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is their completely opposite vibes. Neither is a complaint. They're both
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perfect. Being a mom is the best thing I've ever done. It's also the hardest
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thing I've ever done. It took us four years to get pregnant. It has taken
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me a really long time to figure out how to be the mom I want
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to be and how to care about the right things
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and how to get out of the what should be
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happening and what's supposed to happen and look at what
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actually is happening and what is right for our family and our kids. And that
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has been a long time struggle. But man, these
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kids make me laugh every day. They make me
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better every day. They make me more compassionate every day.
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They test my limits every day. They both have
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identified limits I didn't know I had and also showed me the
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unending lengths I will go to. And
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I can actually say that I have been
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responsible for the health and welfare of another human for 10
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years and I have not irreparably fucked it up yet.
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That's something to be proud of. So happy birthday to my
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oldest baby who has somehow been around for a decade,
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which cannot be possible because she is just an
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itty bitty tiny widow baby who fits in my
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pocket and came into this world
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six weeks early at 5 pounds 11 ounces and
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19 inches long, which is almost a normal birth weight
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and as long as most full term babies.
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And she has stayed that tall ever since.
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And I want to reinforce that is rude.
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I did get a fancy new desk. It's all shiny and
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lacquer y and looks all professional and
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stuff. And I rearranged my office with my new desk.
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We've had builder grade carpet in this room since we bought the
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house. We just took their cheap carpet and we planned to replace it at some
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point. And at some point apparently was 10 years later. In
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the process of those 10 years we have had a number of
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puppies including more than one househorse.
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And the fact that the carpet had any structural
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integrity left that it hadn't become just dust that we were all
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breathing in is actually pretty impressive. And a lot to say about builder grade
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carpet because this stuff was here for a long time and had been through a
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thing or two. The number of times that it got steam
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cleaned in a short period of time due to
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a puppy. Because I don't care what kind of flooring is in my office. My
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dogs are coming in my office. I don't want to have an office
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if my dogs aren't allowed it. I have this office so I
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can give my dogs a better life. I've thought about getting a new desk for
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a while and then my setup in my office has been
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imperfect for quite a while for a lot of reasons. But I will just like
9:06
make do with things for so fricking long. For so long. I
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will use a broken ass desk for years. And I did one of the
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desks that I used up until I got basically a makeshift standing
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desk that I used for a couple years. Literally had a hole in the side
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cause two of our dogs got in a flight fight and knocked
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my kids art easel into it and it
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knocked a hole into the side because very clearly it was
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super expensive hardwood, also known as
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reinforced cardboard from Ikea. But it had a hole in
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the side and at one point I was like I should just get some contact
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paper and put it down the side of it so it looks like it's Like
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a fancy design. My husband's like, you're not putting contact
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paper on the desk to cover the fact that it has a hole in it.
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You can get a new desk. And I was like, I don't think I need
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to. It's probably fine. It's fine. I've been making do with
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stuff for a very long time. But for a number of reasons, we got to
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a point where it was like, maybe I should actually, like, make my office look
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pretty because I have my stupid face on camera
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a lot and we should have a cool background behind us or something. I
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said to my husband, I'm going to buy a new desk. And he was like,
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I'm not letting you put a new desk in that office until that carpet is
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out of there. And I was like, I'm not letting you put a new desk
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in this office until that carpet's out. Don't tell me what to do. But
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he was kind of right. It did smell like funky ass dog in here.
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And like many iterations of Funky ass Dog. Getting the carpet
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situated was a long process. There was, like, agreeing that we
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were going to do the carpet, then there was figuring out where we were going
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to get the carpet from, and then there was
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picking the carpet when. Which to me it was like, here's a swatch of carpet.
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Do you like it? Yes. Get that one. That is not how my husband's brain
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works. My husband has a look at every single sample of
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carpet and snuggle with it and test it with the pad
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underneath it and see what colors it comes in and test
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the colors in different lighting. And what do you think of wood
11:02
floors? And we could do wood floors, but it would take us
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a long time to find somebody who can install the wood floors. Oh, and it
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would go up against the tile floor that looks like wood. And then. And so
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we'd have to probably match it somehow. And I was finally just like, just put
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carpet in. I don't care. Just put carpet in. I don't care. It's not that
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expensive. If dogs pee on it, I will replace it. Just put carpet in.
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So we finally picked the carpet. It was like literally a two month process
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of going to Home Depot and then Lowe's and then Home Depot and then
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Lowe's and then a carpet store and then a different carpet store and then a
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wholesale carpet store and then back to Home Depot and then back to Lowe's. So
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we finally picked the carpet, and in the process, my husband decided, well, if we're
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going to do carpet in your office, we might as well, do all the areas
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that need carpet, because all of the builder carpet in our house needs to go.
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So he decides he's going to do the carpet in the kids rooms and then
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the carpet on the stairs, which, if given my dressers, I would get rid of
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the carpet altogether. But the cost difference and the skill difference
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in installing carpet versus tile
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or wood is like, night and day. And I also just didn't want to spend
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that much money. So we're trying to figure it out, and he's going
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back and forth trying to figure out what carpet to put upstairs, what carpet to
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put on the stairs, and he's getting quotes, and he's like,
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I think it's going to be this much to do your office. And I was
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like, well, it's more than I wanted to spend, but okay. He's like, and it's
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going to be this much to do the girls rooms, and it's going to be
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this much to do the stairs. And I was like, yeah, okay, all right.
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It's like, I don't think I realized that we were turning it into a project
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of that level, but if that's what we need to do, okay, that's what we
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need to do. And then he was like, well, if you don't want to spend
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that much money, we can try to figure out how to do it a different
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way. And I'm like, well, yeah, let me know what other ways there are. And
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he comes back and he's like, all right, so if we just do the girls
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room and the stairs. And I was like, what? No,
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that is not. You just removed the whole point
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of why we were doing the carpet. And he's like, but the girls room and
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stairs need to be done. And I'm like, but they did need to be done
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last week. So he's like, I'll put your office back on. I'm like,
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yes. I just think he, like, got so, like, mentally
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invested in the cost and the getting the project done that he,
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like, forgot the big goal, which is, I'm still going to harass you about the
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desk. We don't wake up one morning and go, like, no, new desk. That's not
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how my hyper fixations work, bro. That's not? No. So
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anyway, so we finally get the carpet in, and I'm
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looking everywhere for a desk. And again, I'm the person that he would, like, bring
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50 swatches to. I'd be like, which carpet do you want? And I'd be like,
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they're all great. I don't care. They're lovely. Get all of them. They're
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perfect. But then when it came to buying a desk, the way
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that I looked at every desk on the planet, the way
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that I hated something about every single desk, I saw the way that I went
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back and forth between standing desk, regular desk,
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giant desk, smaller desk, bigger l desk. Does
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it need drawers? Should it not? There are lots of places in this
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world that sell desks, and you would think
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that there are none, the way I was acting about picking this desk.
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And he would say, did you buy a desk yet? And I would say, no.
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And he'd say, why not? I'd say, because I can't find one that I like.
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He'd be like, there are literally websites that have tens of thousands of desks
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on them. And I was like, yeah, but no good ones. The things that I
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am particular about, desks and bedsheets, other than that, I could not give
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shit desks, bed sheets, and fountain Coke. Other than
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that, like, I have zero preferences about anything. You want to buy
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a new house? Sure, go do it. You want to buy cheap sheets from
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Walmart? Gross. Don't do that. That's awful. Bad idea. So finally I stumbled
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back on to this desk that I had literally looked at 10 years
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ago. There's this Italian designer who
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makes executive desks that are
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very fancy looking but not like insanely
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expensive. And I kept looking at this one at a furniture store
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online, not that far from us going, I feel like I've seen this
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before. Why do I feel like I've seen this before? And finally I got back
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to the website of the actual manufacturer and I was like, this is the
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set that I looked at when we bought this house. And I
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chickened out and didn't buy it then because it was just too expensive. We bought
15:09
this house 10 years ago. One, my tastes haven't changed much.
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Two, apparently they don't update their inventory very often. Which
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worked out fine for me. Not a complaint. So we went and we saw it
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at a furniture store that's near us. And I still didn't buy it. It was
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like a little bit more expensive than I wanted to spend.
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And they had two of the versions, but not the third version. And
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so my husband keeps going, you need a desk, just buy a desk. And I'm
15:33
like, it's not right. It's not the right desk. It's not right. And he's, those
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are the desks that you wanted the whole time. They're the right desk. I'm like,
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no, something's not right. Nope. Because crazy person, really.
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That's really what it is. And so I'm still looking,
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and finally, I'm like, I think I'm just gonna get one of them.
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But there's, like, a third model. There's two models that
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they've had forever, and then there's a third one, and the third one I had
15:57
never seen in person. And for some reason, it. It occurred
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to me that this furniture store that is really big in South Florida
16:05
had opened up a new showroom up here
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closer to us. It's, like, 45 minutes away from us, and I had never been
16:12
there. And so I went on the website, and they had the desks, and so
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I was like, okay. And so, thankfully, I
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have a ride or die husband who is literally down to ride
16:22
wherever, because I randomly that
16:26
Saturday was like, do you want to drive me over to Altamont and
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I can look at this desk? And he was like, all right, whatever. Let's
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go. He'll go anywhere. He doesn't care. And so we
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drive over there. We took his mom with us because she was also looking for
16:40
a table. And we walk into this showroom
16:44
that, I swear to God, was filled with the
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furniture from the model home that
16:52
we bought of our home. Like, it was the exact same stuff. And Again, this
16:55
was 10 years ago. The reason our house is so well
16:59
decorated now is because we took pictures of
17:02
every corner of the model and bought every scrap of
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furniture we could find. I, to this day, have that
17:10
model home imprinted in my memory. This very nice man walks up to me, and
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he says, I'm Manny. I can help you with anything you need today. And I
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am like, I hate being approached by salespeople when I walk into places. So I
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was like, thanks, Manny. I'm good. I'm just gonna go wander. And of course, like,
17:24
every time you turn around a little bit, he's like, behind you, like a
17:29
ghost you can't get rid of. And so I would go to look at a
17:32
bedroom set and then look in the mirror on the dresser, and in the back
17:35
corner of the mirror, you would see, like, Manny hanging out in the corner. I
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was like, okay, I've got a tail. It's fine. He was unobtrusive.
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He didn't ask anything. He stayed out of my way. But he was definitely following
17:44
me around the store. Like, do you have a question? Can I answer your own
17:47
question? So. So finally, I find the section with the desks, which is, of course,
17:51
the last section. Like, the whole. I've been through the whole store. The
17:55
last corner that I get to, of course, I'm gonna stop in the last place
17:57
that had the stuff I'm looking for. But this was the last possible place in
18:00
the store it could be in. It's the exact opposite of where it started.
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And I see the desk, and I was like, oh, my God, I love it.
18:07
And it was the one I had never seen before. It was. I just. I
18:11
looked at it. It was huge. I like a big desk. It had
18:15
the grommets. It just had all the things I wanted in it. And
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I was like, I also want the credenza. I feel like I am a
18:22
fancy lady who deserves the two
18:26
stack drawers. I should have file cabinet. I'm just. I'm a fancy lady
18:30
of business, and I should have drawers. So
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I said to my husband, I love the desk. I love the credenza. He was
18:36
like, all right, you want to get it? And I was like, I'm not sure.
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Seriously looks me in the face. And he's like, what the fuck?
18:43
And I was like, we just. We have. I could make what I have work.
18:46
I don't need to spend a bunch of money. And he looks at me, and
18:48
he's like, by the fucking desk.
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We drove all the way out here by
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the fucking desk. I was like.
19:01
And meanwhile, there were some things he saw that he liked. A thing that his
19:04
mother. His mom saw that she liked. And
19:08
we're looking at all of it like, oh, okay, we're good at this. Meanwhile, the
19:12
whole time, my children are terrorizing the store. They're sitting on all the
19:16
couches. They're spinning on all the chairs. They're touching all the recliner buttons. And Manny
19:19
is here for all of it. Manny's like, did you try this one? This one
19:23
spins really well. You should try this one. And you could tell he was trying
19:26
to not, like, spin them too hard because he didn't want them to puke in
19:29
the showroom, which is good thinking. Manny, you are a man with children. I can
19:33
tell. But he was just, like, totally tolerant of the fact that my children were
19:37
being my children and were very excited about all of the furniture or sitting
19:40
on all of the furniture. I look at my husband. My husband is
19:44
like, you want the desk? Buy the desk. So I was
19:48
like, fine. So I look at Manny and I say, I'll take
19:52
it. And he goes, you want to buy it? And I
19:55
said, yeah. And I said, I also. And he goes, okay, okay. And he
19:59
gets kind of very fleeting look on his face. But then it went
20:03
away. And then I said, but I also want the credenza to
20:06
you. And he goes, oh, Bo. And I said, yeah. And
20:10
again, very fleeting look. And then it's gone. And he said, okay, let's go back
20:14
to where we put in the order. I can walk you through all that. And
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so I walk behind him, and I just want to point out that I am
20:20
an extremely perceptive person. I have excellent
20:24
perception of the people around me. And I
20:27
definitely noticed, and definitely didn't only realize
20:31
later that as he was walking back with me
20:34
to the place where you put in the order, that
20:38
everybody was patting him on the back and high fiving. I totally noticed
20:42
that. I totally did not just ignore the fact that was happening
20:45
around, except I did. I did. And then I got there and I sat
20:49
down because they have, like, the little desk, and it's got the screen where you
20:52
can see what they're doing. He's standing there, and I'm sitting. And so I kind
20:55
of looked at him like, what are we doing? You gonna do it? And he,
20:58
very sheepishly and adorably, in a way that I will
21:02
never forget, looks at me and says, it's my first day, and I don't know
21:05
how to process a sale yet, so my manager's gonna come do it. And I
21:09
was like, it's your first day? And he goes,
21:12
yeah. I was like, is this your first sale? And he
21:16
goes, yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna buy the whole damn
21:19
store. I went from being unwilling to spend any
21:23
number of dollars to being like, wrap it all up. Bring it to me.
21:27
I got credit cards. Let's go. Swipe, swipe.
21:31
Because I was gonna buy this desk online. They had it online.
21:35
I could have it delivered the same way. But if you buy it online, nobody
21:38
gets a commission on. Just goes to benefit the store. It doesn't go to
21:41
benefit anybody else. And so I would have gotten the same desk.
21:45
It would have been delivered to my house. I. I probably would have bought the
21:48
same thing. But for some reason, that day, after 10 years.
21:52
10 years of looking at this desk, that day we decided to
21:56
go get it. That day, my husband decided to put his foot down and say,
21:59
stop wasting my fucking time and buy a desk. Which is fair.
22:03
And that day happened to be Manny's very first day,
22:08
where he got his very first sale and got
22:12
to take home some money. Maybe not exactly that day. I would imagine that comes
22:15
on a paycheck later, but still for a job that, like, maybe he
22:19
wasn't sure he was any good at and he was good at it, and he
22:23
didn't bother me. He was a little
22:26
unobtrusive lurker rather than being
22:30
all up in my business. And for that reason, we buy furniture.
22:34
So anyway, we have since gone back, and they had really good floor
22:37
models on sale. And we almost sold this house.
22:41
Gosh, I think it was three years ago now. It was when the market was
22:44
super crazy and when you could sell a house in a day.
22:48
And we just decided again. It took me 10 years
22:52
to buy a desk. 10 years. It took me 5 years to buy the nightstands
22:55
that are in my bedroom right now. We had a mattress on a floor
22:59
for the first four years we lived here, because picking
23:03
those things was too hard. But on Easter
23:07
Sunday three years ago, my husband looked at me and was like, do you
23:10
want to sell this house? And I was like, sure. And that was the extent
23:14
of the conversation that we had. And we were under contract. Two weeks later,
23:18
there was no further conversation about it. So the things that we get stuck on
23:22
and the things that we are just, like, all in for,
23:25
very disparate experiences. But the sale
23:29
fell through on. I think it was, like, four days before
23:32
closing. We didn't end up closing, but in the process, we had packed up all
23:36
of our stuff. We had sold a bunch of our furniture. We had given away
23:38
stuff that needed to be given away. And we still, three years later,
23:42
shockingly, are trying to replace some of it. And so while we were there,
23:46
they had a bunch of floor models. And I looked at Manny, and I was
23:49
like, do you get commission on floor models? And he goes,
23:53
yeah. And I was like, bet. And we just walked around, and we're like, we'll
23:56
take that table. We'll take that table. We'll take that table. So we have a
23:59
dining room table again, which we have not had a dining room table for three
24:02
years. And it was super cheap. Not super cheap, but it was inexpensive,
24:05
and it looks fancy. It's not like cheap furniture. And
24:10
there were these end tables that they had at the
24:14
model home that we literally bought and then
24:18
built a replica of when we were building our house. And we
24:21
were never able to find them, which wasn't a huge catastrophe for me,
24:25
because they're glass, and I don't like glass because it's hard to keep clean. But
24:29
my husband really liked them. He really wanted them. And no matter where we looked,
24:32
we couldn't find them. They had them on sale there, and they were $95.
24:36
And when we looked 10 years ago, the closest I think we could find
24:40
were like $1,000 a piece. And I was like, I'm not spending $1,000 a piece
24:44
for a table that we're not going to use. That's not going to happen. But
24:47
$95, I can swing. So we now have the end tables that he
24:50
wasn't able to find for 10 years. And I have the desk
24:54
that I've been looking at for 10 years. And we have a dining room
24:58
table that we got very inexpensively because it was
25:02
the floor model that we didn't know we needed.
25:05
We did know we needed. Cause we didn't have a dining room table, but we
25:08
didn't know we were shopping for. And Manny got a cut of all of it
25:11
on his first day. Look at that.
25:15
Very fancy. So anyway, sometimes you wake up in the
25:18
morning and decide that today's the day. Or your husband decides for you
25:22
that today's the day, that you're gonna buy this thing that you've been
25:26
looking at for a decade. And as a result, you get to make somebody else's
25:29
day. And then you don't feel guilty about it, because I might have spent
25:33
money on myself, which I don't like doing. But in the process,
25:37
that guy got to prove that he's good at his new job. And I'm down
25:40
with that. And now we'll go to Alison,
25:44
who has this week's small talk. We have a small talk
25:48
question from Kevin in Rhode Island. My high school reunion
25:52
is coming up, and I'm already in a spiral about it. Not because
25:56
anything is wrong with my life. By most accounts, it's genuinely fine.
26:00
Good job, Nice apartment, people. I love. When I scroll through what everyone else
26:04
is posting. It all looks so assembled,
26:07
purposeful, like everyone else received a manual. I know
26:11
social media is a highlight reel. I know the manual doesn't exist,
26:15
but the reunion is in person, which means I'll have to answer. So what are
26:19
you up to? About 40 times. And somehow not feel
26:23
like the only one still figuring it out. How did you hold
26:26
your own without either performing contentment or
26:30
catastrophizing? Catastrophizing. That one. So
26:34
there are a couple of questions, and there's a question that you didn't
26:37
actually ask. That is the question I want to address first.
26:41
The response that you didn't ask for is that it is
26:45
possible that everybody in your graduating
26:48
class appears to have their shit together. I can
26:52
guarantee you without hesitation
26:56
that not a single one of them does. I know so
27:00
many highly successful people, incredibly
27:04
successful people, people with great jobs who are Kind,
27:07
compassionate, great families doing their best every
27:11
day, doing really good work every day, who are hot
27:15
messes behind the scenes. And it's
27:18
everybody. There is nobody who has it figured out.
27:22
Nobody has it figured out. There's nothing to figure out.
27:25
There's no roadmap, there's no guidebook, there's no way
27:29
you're supposed to be doing this stuff. Nobody gives you a manual.
27:33
You remember like years and years and years ago when we used to buy big
27:36
screen TVs, they would come with the 500 page manual
27:41
how to operate the television. And then if you go have a kid, they're like,
27:45
here. They give you nothing. You're lucky if you get a pat
27:49
on the back and a pack of diapers. Nobody
27:52
gives you a manual on how to do
27:56
adult life, right? There's no one
28:00
set of anything that means you're successful. Are you
28:03
happy? Are you making progress in
28:06
anything? It could be a freaking video game. Are you making
28:10
progress in a video game? Are you learning things that you
28:14
enjoy learning? Are you living a life that
28:17
you like to live? And if not, are you working toward the better
28:21
version of that life in any way whatsoever?
28:25
Cool. You're doing life and you're doing life
28:28
right. Social media is lies. And I say
28:32
this as a person who posts my whole life on social media
28:36
and everything I say is true. And it's
28:40
still maybe 20% of the story. On a day that I
28:43
am very open and public about things, maybe 20% of the story.
28:48
You cannot judge your success by
28:51
anybody else's. And anybody who
28:56
wants to judge yours by theirs
29:00
can get bent and get
29:03
bent hard. I've never had a high school reunion. I don't think we actually have
29:07
high school reunions. But if you asked me if I wanted to go to my
29:10
high school reunion, I would be like, nah, bro, I'm good. I don't have any
29:13
desire to see people that I haven't seen for 20 years. And I say that
29:17
as the person who's gonna be a more success, not a more successful, but a
29:21
successful person in that room. I am not concerned about walking into that room to
29:24
talk about my job, to talk about my family. There's nothing
29:28
in my life that I'm not happy to share with all those people, except for
29:31
the fact that I don't wanna share shit with all those people. That was 20
29:34
years ago. If I wanted to talk to them, I would talk to
29:37
them. I don't want to. So
29:42
if you want to go to your high school reunion, great, you can go get
29:46
Some probably bad cater waiter
29:49
food and maybe see your old high
29:53
school gym or a ballroom at some
29:56
random Ramada near where your high school was. I don't know. I. I
30:00
don't know how those things work. I've never been to one. The only high school
30:04
reunion I've been to was Romy and Michelle's. That's it. There is nothing you
30:08
have to perform at that place to be accepted by
30:12
people whose opinion has never mattered but certainly hasn't mattered
30:15
in a number of years so large that you would
30:19
celebrate it. They don't have reunions for your
30:22
third year out of high school. You have to get to like 10
30:26
and 20. And guess what? Things that happened 20 years ago aren't
30:30
relevant to your life anymore. You're doing a new thing
30:33
now. My. My suggestion is don't go. Which might not be the right
30:37
suggestion. That might absolutely 100% be the wrong suggestion as
30:41
100% me projecting on you. So don't necessarily take that as
30:45
the solution or the answer. But beyond
30:48
that, there is nothing that you have to prove to
30:52
anybody in that room. There is no finish line. You are
30:56
not in a race that you're losing and nobody is in a race that they're
30:59
winning. If you're worried about showing off to a bunch of people you don't
31:03
care about anymore, you don't even need to go. But if
31:07
you do, or if you want to, just remember
31:11
that you created the glue on post. Its thanks for being here
31:15
guys. Have a good day. Love you. Mean it.
31:20
I got to make two Romy and Michelle's jokes there. Very impressed with myself.