Latest / Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison / Some Men Can Handle It. Some Can't.

Transcript

Some Men Can Handle It. Some Can't. · Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison

• 0:13
  Hello, this is a pre big call from and make it the Virginia Department
• 0:18
  of Corrections. Read Onion State Prison to accept this call. Crashed zero.
• 0:26
  This is Randa vomb I'm currently serving one two hundred and fourteen years in Walling
• 0:32
  Hurt State Prison in Big Stone Gap, Virginia for capitol murder. This is
• 0:36
  my podcast, Read on Your Randy. I hope you enjoy listening to me.
• 0:41
  For long term listeners to my podcast, you've heard me talk about,
• 0:45
  you know, how I've been in a couple of relationships since I've been inside
• 0:52
  prison, and that they didn't work out. One of them completely crashed and
• 0:59
  burned. That one was. That one was a pretty bad one. So
• 1:04
  I swore off relationships and just it's not going to happen. And a couple
• 1:10
  of years later, lo and behold, Nicole comes trotting along and I'm back
• 1:15
  in a damn relationship again and kind of loving it. So me, I'm
• 1:23
  a buddy. Cartoon was talking about relationships about a week ago while we was
• 1:29
  on lockdown, how different men deal with it, you know, but he's
• 1:33
  married, I'm well on my way to getting married. So we were just
• 1:38
  talking about normal relationship things. How guys in prison deal with it. And
• 1:44
  we got on the subject of talking about sex. You know, not a
• 1:48
  not a conversation I normally talk about with dudes in prison, but we just
• 1:52
  we started talking about it and it's a very interesting subject. So I decided
• 1:57
  to do a podcast on it. Because you've got a lot of different guys.
• 2:01
  Then most guys in prison actually have relationships with girls on the street,
• 2:06
  and you've got the few guys that you know, they've got five or six
• 2:09
  relationships that they're juggling. How do we deal with it? How do we
• 2:14
  deal with the fact that, I mean, let's face it, if a
• 2:17
  man is in prison and their woman is on the street, nine times out
• 2:23
  of ten, that woman is going to continue to have sex with somebody.
• 2:29
  How does the man deal with it? And it's as a tricky subject for
• 2:35
  me because I'm one of them dudes that I'm completely loyal, Like I'm absolutely
• 2:39
  loyal. Yes, I know I'm a virgin and all that stuff, but
• 2:45
  it doesn't matter to me, like I would never cheat, like I don't.
• 2:49
  I don't believe in it. To me, I believe that it's it
• 2:52
  makes a man weak, like it it's it's you have a weak mind if
• 2:55
  you cheat. And even one day, I remember me and my editor of
• 3:02
  producer excuse me, my field producer, Paulie. We was discussing this subject
• 3:07
  and I sit there and told him like, dude, if I ever found
• 3:10
  out that you cheated on your girlfriend, like I would end her friendship.
• 3:16
  And he was like, wow, why would you do that? It's like,
• 3:19
  I'm not cheating on you. I said, yeah, true. However,
• 3:22
  look at it from this perspective. This perspective, if you cheat on
• 3:28
  the woman you claim to love, you say you love her, you're in
• 3:31
  a relationship with her, and you betray her, what would you do to
• 3:38
  me. I'm not giving you a blowjob, I ain't having sex with you.
• 3:42
  I'm just your friend. If you're going to stab her in the bag,
• 3:45
  what the hell would you do to me. I'm just some dude in
• 3:47
  your life. And that's the way I look at it. You know,
• 3:51
  so I don't believe in cheating, Like I won't even be friends with someone
• 3:54
  that I know is cheating. Now. I'm not going to be that kind
• 3:58
  of dude just going to go run into his girlfriend and say, hey,
• 4:00
  yo, dude, it's cheating on you. I'm not a snitch. She's
• 4:03
  just gonna have to find out that information on her own. And I don't
• 4:09
  believe in getting cheated on obviously, hell nobody does. So it raises up
• 4:15
  an interesting question what happens if my girl Nicole is out there having sex with
• 4:24
  someone while I'm still in prison and I'm in a relationship with her. Do
• 4:30
  I leave her? Do I cut all ties with her? Or do I
• 4:34
  accept it and just ignore this fact until I get out of prison and then
• 4:41
  hey, this's going to stop. And that's a tough one for me.
• 4:46
  But the crazy thing is I've actually fallen in such love with Nicole that I
• 4:53
  don't believe she is. But if she did, I've fallen in such love
• 4:59
  with this one. Honestly, I would just ignore it, you know.
• 5:02
  And I was talking the cartoon about this and he was telling me, like,
• 5:05
  look, he says, I actually come from it from a different perspective.
• 5:09
  He says, I don't care if she's cheating. If Crystal cheats on
• 5:14
  me, it is what it is. Like, I don't give it them
• 5:15
  because I'm in prison. And if she was in prison and I was on
• 5:20
  the street, hey, I'd be getting some myself. That's just facts of
• 5:24
  life. It says, the only thing I think about and the only thing
• 5:29
  I want and require from Crystal is this. Don't do it in my house,
• 5:34
  don't do it in my bed, don't do it where you work at,
• 5:39
  and don't do it with people that are your friends that are going to
• 5:43
  like when I if I get out of prison and I give my time back
• 5:46
  and I go home, I'm going to be around these people. Because that's
• 5:49
  the ultimate disrespect as for a woman to sleep with someone else, to cheat
• 5:57
  on you with someone else that's going to be around you all the time that
• 6:00
  you're going to invite into y'all's home. And now, look, women,
• 6:03
  let me give you some advice there is I'm not sure what to call it.
• 6:09
  I'm just I'm just going to label it a man thing. When you're
• 6:14
  in a relationship with a guy and you cheat on him and you have sex
• 6:17
  with one of their friends, or you have sex with someone that's just going
• 6:20
  to be in y'all's life somewhat, maybe someone at their work or or family
• 6:27
  member. However, when guys pull up on other guys and you're snuggled up
• 6:33
  in your guy's arms, you're standing there holding hands or something like that the
• 6:38
  god that you're cheating on, the guy that you're excuse me, the guy
• 6:42
  that you're cheating with, the guy that you're sleeping with, is going to
• 6:45
  look your man in the eyes and he's going to give him that silent message
• 6:48
  like yeah, I'm hitting your girl, bro, what the you're gonna do
• 6:53
  about it? And we recognize that look, We see that look. Come
• 6:56
  on, man, we ain't dumb. We know what time is. Yeah,
• 6:59
  you got some a little bit clue is but most of us we pick
• 7:01
  up on that. It's a man thing. It's a it's a domination type
• 7:06
  of thing, like yeah, and that's what guys are thinking in their head.
• 7:12
  So like he doesn't want to deal with that. Cartoon don't want to
• 7:14
  deal with that because cartoon get that look. Some she's gonna jump off,
• 7:18
  like dude trying to go for real. I mean, yeah, he's doing
• 7:23
  everything he can now to kind of lay low and you know, stay out
• 7:27
  the way and so on and so forth. But he goes home and some
• 7:31
  dude that she's been sleeping with gives him that look, and yeah, that's
• 7:36
  it's gonna be a little bit different. Like he's probably gonna do thirty days
• 7:42
  in jail for you know, for a soul battery. And then you got
• 7:46
  some guys in here that from the you know, like me, I don't
• 7:49
  want to know about it. Don't tell me, Like Nicole, if you're
• 7:54
  listening to this, if for whatever reason you have those needs, hey,
• 7:59
  just yead, don't don't do it in our house, don't do it in
• 8:01
  our bed, and I don't want to know who the mother is, and
• 8:05
  don't tell me about it. Cartoon. He's the opposite. He actually wants
• 8:09
  to know. He look, just let me know, but follow these certain
• 8:13
  guidelines and rules. But then you've got other guys like I'm not going to
• 8:18
  say his name just simply because I haven't ran this by him. But he
• 8:22
  was a part of the conversation, and he was like, look, man,
• 8:24
  if I call home and my girl is actually having sex while I'm on
• 8:28
  a phone, they said, man, I'm put me on speakerphone, so
• 8:33
  why can encourage the god they set it down in there so I can hear
• 8:37
  that getting popped. I'm like, bro, for real, he said,
• 8:39
  yeah, he said why not? He says, shoot, dude, I'm
• 8:43
  gonna throw the damn blanket over my lap, and I'm gonna start masturbating to
• 8:46
  it. I'm like, bro, you're taking it too far now, man,
• 8:48
  he said. Look, man, I'm gonna be in prison for the
• 8:50
  rest of my life, he said, Man, chances are I ain't never
• 8:54
  getting no asked again? So why why why not enjoy hearing that making it
• 9:00
  a little bit more real for me when I do? Masterbak. Yeah,
• 9:03
  that's that's a totally different outlook than I've got, man, you know.
• 9:07
  And that's that's the way guys are in prison. And some obviously they get
• 9:13
  broken on it. They get destroyed like it's the worst thing in the world
• 9:18
  that has ever happened to them. They find out their wife is cheating on
• 9:22
  them. They start screaming and cussing on the phone and disrespecting them and all
• 9:28
  that. And they they several relationships. They'll delete the phone number off their
• 9:31
  call list. They'll go delete them off the kiosk so they can no longer
• 9:35
  get emails from them. There they go, they'll start doing drugs, they'll
• 9:39
  start drinking, they'll start fighting it. They don't know how to handle that.
• 9:43
  They don't know how to deal with that, they don't know how to
• 9:46
  process that. You see this stuff a lot. I mean, it's it's
• 9:50
  standing near regular currents, especially if you're like in a big pot and there's
• 9:54
  eighty to one hundred guys in the pod. Like you'll see it like once
• 10:00
  or twice a month. You'll see a guy just smap out like that because
• 10:03
  he found out that his wife had sexu with some dude on the street.
• 10:07
  I think personally, if you get locked up, whether you're female or male,
• 10:13
  it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship with someone, if you're married
• 10:18
  to someone, and for whatever reason you get incarcerated, you cannot hold your
• 10:24
  spouse or your significant other to chastity. Now I know there's gonna be a
• 10:31
  lot of Christians if here it is to start screaming at me, especially with
• 10:35
  the fact that I am a Christian. But people have needs. People need
• 10:41
  that. Once you start, like, there's no stopping. Once you start
• 10:45
  having sex, there's no there's no going back. Or you might not do
• 10:48
  it for you know, a year or two, but you ain't doing it
• 10:52
  with other people, but you're still going to be doing it with yourself,
• 10:54
  so you still having sex. Masturbation is still sex. That's what a lot
• 10:58
  of people in the world don't understand the COMPREHENDI it's still a sexual act.
• 11:03
  So even if you're not necessarily doing it with someone else, you're still having
• 11:05
  sex. It's just with yourself this time. So if you're in a relationship
• 11:09
  and you're in concentrated, you've got to accept that. And that's where most
• 11:13
  guys in prison are. We've come to the point where like, okay,
• 11:18
  look, just either don't tell us about it, or you know, follow
• 11:22
  these this set of guidelines. And I think that's the smart, mature way
• 11:28
  of handling it and dealing with it. Look, as long as you're there
• 11:31
  for me, as long as you're not doing it in my house or my
• 11:33
  bed, as long as it ain't nobody in my family, or it ain't
• 11:37
  none of our friends that I'm going to see when I'm you know, matter
• 11:39
  of fact, I don't even want it in our town. Go go to
• 11:43
  another town, Go go visit someplace else, and you know, have your
• 11:46
  little one nice stand or whatever, and then come on back to the house.
• 11:48
  And when you've got those certain needs again, you know, you go
• 11:52
  to a different town or whatever. But like, just don't crap where ye
• 11:56
  eat, basically is what I'm saying. And that's how I chose to look
• 12:01
  at it. It's gonna hurt. Like nobody wants there's fouls or their significant
• 12:07
  other to be in arms of someone else. But at what point do you
• 12:13
  have to set someone free? At what point do you say, Look,
• 12:16
  do you know what I was if I was on the street and they was
• 12:22
  in here? Could I be faithful to this person? And if your answer
• 12:26
  is no, and look, this is the thing. A lot of men
• 12:31
  have a double standard. A lot of men think it's okay for them to
• 12:35
  run around and have sex with a whole bunch of girls and it means nothing.
• 12:39
  But yet you let their girl do the exact same thing, even if
• 12:43
  it's just one time. All of a sudden, they paint them with a
• 12:48
  horror brush. They paint them as a slut or one of those nasty derogatory
• 12:56
  words. For the simple fact that it's them doing it to them. That's
• 13:01
  not fair. You can't do that. What's good for the goose is good
• 13:05
  for the gander. So when you come to prison and you deal with this,
• 13:11
  and you're gonna deal with this if you come to prison, don't burn
• 13:15
  your relationship, don't lose someone in your life. That means something to you,
• 13:20
  someone who's willing to help you, someone who's willing to talk to you
• 13:24
  and stand by your side. Because there's a lot of guys who come to
• 13:26
  prison and their wives are their girls will leave them immediately, like the relationship
• 13:33
  is over with and they just move on to someone else. So if you're
• 13:37
  in a relationship with a girl on the street and you get locked up for
• 13:41
  whatever, let her do her bro Just set some ground rules at the beginning
• 13:46
  of the relationship, you know, at the beginning of your sentence, I
• 13:48
  mean, the beginning of your time. Set those ground rules and then stick
• 13:52
  by them and don't think about it. Don't let yourself be in here.
• 13:56
  Wonder, man, I wonder what she doing, Wonder who she doing?
• 14:00
  How many is she doing? Like, come on, bruh, she wasn't
• 14:03
  doing that with you while you was on the street. She ain't gonna be
• 14:05
  doing it with other guys. Stop that and like and you hear guys in
• 14:09
  the cell at night sometimes crying, and you can hear guys talking to themselves
• 14:15
  having conversations with their girl like bitchy'all kill you out there, you cheat on
• 14:18
  me, like they're doing, like they're holding this conversation in their head and
• 14:22
  speaking it out loud, and you can actually hear what they're going through,
• 14:26
  especially when the pod is quiet, especially like you don't got your TV turned
• 14:30
  on or whatnot. You hear these types of conversations Like there's times I want
• 14:35
  to climb up on event, like yo, Bra, what are you doing?
• 14:39
  Man? Like? What would you be doing if you was on the
• 14:41
  street right now your girl was locked up? Some guys can handle it,
• 14:46
  some guys can't. You have one minute remaining, but that's that's about it
• 14:54
  on that conversation. Yeah, life is tricky, isn't it. Anyway,
• 15:01
  this has been read on your Randy. I hope you enjoyed listening to me
• 15:03
  today. For those of you in the US would like to call me,
• 15:07
  leave a message or ask a question, you can call one eight eight eight
• 15:13
  five two four one nine three two for all international calls. Just put a
• 15:18
  plus in front of the one. Don't forget to check out my website,
• 15:22
  red on your Randy dot com. I'm on Twitter at red on your Randy.
• 15:26
  Take care, stay safe. Thank you for using GTL