Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Succeed With Remote Teams
Transcript
- Lucas: So Gallup released a report last year that I keep coming back to. It found that only about one in three new managers felt they had adequate training for leading a hybrid or fully remote team. And I think that number's actually generous, given how many new managers I talk to who feel like they're just making it up as they go. Luna: That tracks. I remember my first month managing a remote team — I was basically trying to replicate everything I'd seen in the office over Zoom, and it was exhausting. What's the biggest mistake you see? Lucas: The classic trap is overcorrecting with more meetings. You think, 'If I just see them more, I'll know what's happening.' But that leads to calendar chaos and this weird surveillance vibe. The real problem is that you lose the informal cues — the body language in a hallway, the quick 'hey, got a sec?' — and no amount of scheduled video calls replaces that. Luna: Right, so you need different structures, not just more of the same. My first boss in a remote setting had this rule: no status update meetings. Instead, he asked for a weekly written update before our one-on-one. It forced us to think about what mattered. Lucas: That's a great example. It moves from 'what did you do this week' to 'what should I know as your manager.' And it gives the direct report ownership. I actually want to talk about a framework I've seen work well — I call it the three C's: context, check-in, and calibration. Lucas: Context means making sure everyone on the team understands how their work connects to the bigger picture. In an office, that happens organically through overheard conversations. Remotely, you have to be intentional. I recommend a short weekly written memo from the manager — maybe three bullet points — on what decisions were made, what's coming, and how the team's work fits in. It takes ten minutes but saves hours of misalignment. Luna: So that's the 'context' piece. And then check-in, I assume, is the one-on-one? Not the status update. Lucas: Exactly. The one-on-one should be about the person, not the project. If you've already read their written update, you can spend the thirty minutes on coaching, career growth, blockers. And calibration — the third C — is the piece most managers skip. It's checking whether your expectations are realistic given the remote context. Maybe you're expecting responses within an hour, but your team member is in a different time zone and has deep work blocks. You need to calibrate norms together, not dictate them. Luna: That calibration piece is huge. I've seen teams where the manager sends a Slack message and expects an instant reply, but the team feels like they're on call. That breeds resentment fast. Lucas: Yeah, and it destroys trust. Which brings me to something I've been thinking about — if you've found value in these kinds of practical frameworks, and you want to keep this show ad-free and independent, listener support is what makes that possible. You can help at buymeacoffee.com/fexingo. It's a simple way to say this content matters to you, and it lets us keep doing deep dives without any sponsor pressure. Lucas: All right, back to the three C's. Let's talk about a specific challenge: building psychological safety in a remote environment. How do you create a space where people feel comfortable admitting mistakes when you can't read the room? Luna: That's the million-dollar question. I think a lot of managers default to 'open door policy' virtually, which is nonsense when the door is a Slack DM. You have to be proactive. Lucas: Exactly. One practice I recommend is modeling vulnerability yourself. In your weekly context memo or in a team meeting, share a mistake you made that week and what you learned. Not a fake humblebrag — a real one. When the manager does that, it gives everyone permission to do the same. Luna: And it doesn't have to be dramatic. Something like 'I realized I forgot to loop the design team into that deadline change, and it caused a delay. Next time I'll CC them from the start.' That's enough to signal it's safe to admit imperfection. Lucas: Right. And then you need to reinforce that behavior when someone else does it. If a direct report says 'I missed that email,' you don't say 'please be more careful.' You say 'Thanks for flagging that — let's figure out how to make sure that doesn't happen again.' You're training the team that honesty is rewarded, not punished. Luna: I want to circle back to the asynchronous update you mentioned earlier. I've started using a tool — just a shared doc — where the whole team posts a brief daily log: what they worked on, any blockers, anything interesting. It's optional, but most people do it. And it's been game-changing for visibility without meetings. Lucas: That's a smart calibration move. It gives you a pulse on the team's workload and morale without needing to ask. And for a new manager, that kind of ambient data is gold — you can spot patterns early, like someone who's been quiet for three days or someone who's consistently working late. Luna: Exactly. It's not surveillance; it's a way to offer support before someone asks for it. So if you see someone's log says 'blocked on vendor response for two days,' you can step in and offer to nudge the vendor. Lucas: That's a perfect example of context and check-in working together. You have the context from the log, and then your check-in is about removing a blocker, not chasing status. So, let's talk about a specific scenario: a new manager inheriting a team that's been remote for a while. The team might already have norms, and stepping in as the new boss can be tricky. Luna: Oh, that's a good one. I've been on both sides of that. The key is not to come in and change everything immediately. Spend the first few weeks just observing and asking questions. 'How did you handle this before?' 'What's working well with the current setup?' You build credibility by respecting what came before. Lucas: And I'd add that you should explicitly ask about remote-specific pain points. Maybe the team feels isolated from leadership, or they struggle with handoffs between time zones. If you can fix one of those early, you earn trust fast. Luna: That's a great point. A quick win could be setting up a recurring cross time zone overlap hour for real-time collaboration. Not a meeting — just a block where everyone knows they can ping each other live. Lucas: Exactly. It's about creating the conditions for connection, not forcing it. I think the overarching theme here is intentionality. As a remote manager, you can't rely on chance encounters. You have to design the interactions that build trust and alignment. Luna: And that design process is itself a skill you develop over time. The first few months will feel clunky, but if you keep calibrating based on feedback from the team, you'll find a rhythm. Lucas: Yeah. And to be honest, managing remotely might actually make you a better manager overall, because you're forced to be more deliberate about everything. You can't coast on charisma or hallway chats. Luna: So for our listeners who are in the thick of it — maybe they just got promoted and now their team is spread across four time zones — what's one thing they should do this week? Lucas: Send a short note to each direct report asking a single question: 'What's one thing I can do to make your work easier this week?' No agenda, no judgment. See what comes back. That alone will tell you a lot about where the team is. Luna: I love that. It's low effort, high impact. And it signals that you're there to support, not just to oversee. I think we've covered a lot of ground today. Thanks, Lucas. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. And to everyone listening — if you try that question and it works, or if you have your own remote management tip, we'd love to hear about it. Until next time.