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The Bubble Up Effect: How This 12 Minute A Day Technique Works · The Missing Secret Podcast

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Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to the missing secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
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John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So here's the topic today, the bubble up effect how this 12 minute they technique works. And so Kelly, you know, one of the things that I see, and I maybe, maybe to set the stage for this. So my my book came out in January of last year, and recently, over the over the holidays, I revamped the book, because a number of things over the last few months have happened that I think I just had to to revamp it. And, and like I put in content from Dr Andrew Huberman of Stanford, who has does a great presentation on the power of focus self talk, which is what this is, and, and, some stuff from Joe Dispenza, great stuff. And created a, now a checklist to make sure that the life GPS template that people create is of a high enough quality. And I saw that that I didn't always like what I saw in the career section of the templates, and so I saw that people just weren't thinking deeply enough about the things I wanted them to think deeply about. And so I created the checklist. And it's not very complex, but, but it's, I think it'll be highly effective. But the other thing that that sort of has always bugged me is is I never have gotten the feeling that that everybody understands the profound effect of 95% of your daily actions being unconscious. Well, what's your take on that? Do you think people get that when we say that, or sort of get it and sort of not get away? What do you think,
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Kelly Hatfield: I think, you know, I know we've chatted about this before, and my guess, anyway, is because, if I reflect on when you mentioned that to me during our podcast eight years ago, when you and I met right, people aren't thinking about that at all. So when you bring it up, I think it's a hard like, because I never thought about that before, right? It's hard for me to kind of wrap my head around what that means. So I need more content understand it better, because I haven't ever thought about it at all before. So it's a new concept to me that so that's what I just because that was my experience. And then you gave me additional context, and I was able to click real quick for me, you know, like, the light came on right? Initially, I remember being like, okay, you know, like, so what? How does that translate? What does that mean to me? If, right, you know,
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John Mitchell: But, but you got it in the in the same conversation?
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Kelly Hatfield: I did, yeah, I did get it in the same conversation, yeah,
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John Mitchell: Well, and, but I think you're right. They don't know what it means, because they haven't thought about it, and they're hearing it for the first time. Nobody's ever told them like 95% of their daily actions are unconscious. So you know. And they're, they're, as we were talking about, people were shallow thinking. So it sort of goes in one ear and out the other. They barely grasp that he that they even heard it. And so, yeah, I think, I think you're right, but as I said 100 times, you know, it's the most significant thing I ever learned, because once I understood that I'm like, everything else made sense. Why? Why I always felt like there was more in the tank and and just over the last year, maybe from teaching my class two times this past year, I just understand it better myself, so I can explain it better. And one of the things that came up that we've talked about in a prior episode or two is the bubble up effect. But I never actually called it the bubble up effect. And I think there is power in putting a moniker on it. And so I'm going to explain it again with a story that I've used before, but I'm going to add some other examples and and then they will go from there. But here's essentially how, how the think it be it methodology works. And so this is my example with my marriage. So the change and I get going every day, and off she goes, and she does her thing, and I do my thing, and we all get back together around six o'clock for dinner. And so in my life, GPS template, I'm affirming a couple of things, that I'm flexible, patient and thoughtful, and I explain what that means in our relationship, and I also articulate my to myself that the ginge is different than me. She does things slow and is people oriented, and I do things fast. I'm task oriented, and just getting in my thick head that she is different than me. Okay, so off I go on my day, and then we hit dinner time. And in Ginger's world, she's now preparing dinner, and everything
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has to be perfect. You have the napkins have to be out. I mean, everything has to be perfect before we can serve dinner. Well, in my world, as you would know, I'm hungry, I'm like, come on, you know, babe, serve the freaking dinner. Your boy is hungry. Now, keep in mind, I'm only thinking that that is not what I'm saying, that is what I am thinking. And what happens is, at the first hint of my impatience, an unconscious thought bubbles up from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind to become patient, that here's here's a perfect opportunity, John, to be patient. That's what you're feeding yourself every morning. Here's that opportunity right now. And so what happens? I'm patient. All had me because I am, from what I'm reading each morning, I am that unconscious thought bubbles up to my conscious mind to resist the autopilot response of probably saying something that that irritates the Genge and I keep my big mouth shut, and that's the bubble up effect. And I'll give you another example. Let's say, in my career, one of the things I articulate is the three things that move the needle, and exactly what those things are, and that's what I'm focusing on during my day well, as I'm rolling through my day at the first hint of feeling like I'm I'm off in the weeds or or being unproductive, that unconscious thought bubbles up to my conscious mind, intelligence and intellect to now, oh, take control of that. Focus now focus on what. There's the needle, okay, another example, like in my health, at the first hint of hunger. Now, keep in mind, in my life GPS template, I'm affirming my rules for eating healthy, and so at the first hint of feeling hungry, like as I'm planning my lunch is, you know, maybe it's 11 o'clock in the in the morning. You know, the first hint of feeling hunger, the unconscious thought bubbles up to my conscious mind to grab a hold of the decision regarding what to eat, rather than leaving it on an autopilot where that decision
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might be a poor decision based on the stress of the moment that I was feeling. Maybe I'd want to soothe myself with with food, unconsciously. And so I guess the key thing that I want two things. I guess I want to drive home, that's that's the concept. The bubble up concept is when you're reading this 12 minutes a day, like GPS template, you're creating the bubble up concept, and you're moving that, that 95 five percentage to probably 7030 70% unconscious, 30% conscious. But now you have literally by a factor of six or seven you you've increased the number of key things that you're now becoming conscious of. And, and I see that in the live GPS template, there's like 40 or 50 things that are affirmed in the live GPS template that I want to be this way or, or I want to do this and, and it's just so powerful when, when you're doing that every day, and it's impacting 40 or 50 aspects of your life, mean you are just playing at a higher level. And that maybe that the final thing I wanted to sort of mentioned about this, that I didn't grasp before, but I damn sure get it now, is that the is that your intelligence and intellect is your greatest asset, right? You'd agree with that, right? Yeah, but if 95% of your daily actions are unconscious, then your conscious mind intelligence and intellect is not impacting those daily actions, yet those daily actions are the very thing that determines your success and and so the reality is, you got to put your greatest asset, your intelligence, back in control of the thing that's determined your your success. I never quite was able to say it as succinctly as that, but I think it's a powerful lesson for for people that are serious about success, that while they sort of see that then, then they're like, Oh, I see why. There was more in the tank and I couldn't get it out. This makes perfect sense. I wasn't using my greatest asset. Does that all make relative sense?
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Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, no, absolutely it does. And I actually really like the bubble up like that. Adding that to your examples to make connect the dots for people, I think is really useful. I love the visual that that creates. And, yeah, I just, I think it's a great addition to teaching the methodology that help, that will help people understand, like, what's happening. Like, oh, okay, this is a bubbling up. This is coming to the surface right now. It's been underneath the, you know, surface, and now it's coming above the surface. I like it,
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John Mitchell: Right, right? So. So what would be your your lesson in this, this new year for people, that if they to make their life better? I know I'm I'm hitting you off the top of your head with this. But what would be your message to people?
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Kelly Hatfield: Boy, the very first thing, I'm without thinking about this at all in advance, the very first thing that came to mind, and I use the methodology to do this, which is to spend as much time like here, like to be present, right? You know, to exercise and to practice presence in every area of your life. Because, I think. And this comes with the wisdom of getting older and how quickly time is moving, you know, and now having and losing people, important people in your life. And, you know, I think my husband and I were Jared, and I were just talking about this last week, you know, about how, you know, he's reflecting because he's lost both of his parents, you know, recently, in the last five years, and and, you know, he's like, you know, when I look back, you know, he goes, I wish that I would have been like, in, like, in the moment, more, not like going through the motions, not on autopilot, not on but I wish I would have just really been locked in and paying attention to what They were saying and to, you know, in these conversations. And so for me, like that's just what's top of mind right now, is to practice being present, which means it goes back to these conversations we have all the time. John, about our phones. You know, how we use our phones to anesthetize like you lose hours in your phone, you know, and you're not working on building deeper relationships with actual people and living externally versus internally. And so for me, that starts with being present. I'm not looking too far behind me very often, just once in a while, as a way to look at my to make sure I'm on track, and I'm not looking too far ahead because it hasn't happened yet. So like focusing on now, taking action now and today, and being in the moment, in conversations like when you're with somebody, be listening to them, be, you know, so that, I think that solves so much, you know, of some of the challenges that we we face. So off the top of my head, that's my
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answer. I'm sticking to
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John Mitchell: I like I like it. I think what I would say is spend time understanding yourself as we were talking sort of off camera before. People are just gliding through life. They're not thinking about their life. They are just on that treadmill and they are going and going and going, and it may be a miserable life, but they don't want to get off they don't want to think about their life. And again, that's this flip through culture that's that's creating this, the social media that's that's creating this, but, but think about this, and I'm going to explain this to my class that starts up next week. You have to understand yourself, because in this, this AI future that we're going to live in, you're going to be you're going to have AI, be able to do everything, literally everything. But if you understand yourself and, like, understand what your special talent is, what and everybody has a special talent, but it takes a little reflection, a little thinking about it, and you've got to be able to articulate what that is. And you probably have two or three special talents, because, like we were saying before, the projection is that about 80% of the people, long term, will will not have jobs. They will have gigs, so they'll be solopreneurs. Think about the profound ramifications of that, that that 80% of the people out. There are essentially self employed as solopreneurs. Well, if that's true, you're going to be able, you're going to need to be able to articulate to the people that are hiring the gigs, here's what my special talent is, and most people can't do that. That's That's exactly what I was seeing with when I looked at some people's templates in the prayer section, I'd ask them what their strategy for success was, and their answer was so shallow that I'm like, Oh my God, I don't know how the hell you're going to be successful thinking that shallow Lee about your life, but yeah, they are, and you know, it's probably easy for me to say that and throw them
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under the bus, but, but the I guess, what I'm really saying is, is, is I want people to sort of wake up and understand that, that understanding themselves is the path to success as Well as enjoyment of life. And so, you know, stop, stop winging life. Stop, you know, just being on this treadmill and and not really understanding who you are and where you want to go and how you get to get there. So, anything more to add to that?
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Kelly Hatfield: No, I think you're right on the money. And I think that was pretty brilliant. One it was, you're so smart, but I think you know really too for people is, you know, take that time because, to your point, as far as just more enjoyment life, when you understand what your kind of superpower is, what your thing that you're intrinsically just really good at, and you know what that strength is, then you're able to bring that so perhaps you're able to bring it more to life within your career, but you also can find opportunities to bring that to life in other areas of your life, right? So just in terms of what you just said, with enjoying life more, with having more happiness in life, you know, or more joyful moments than you're currently having right now. Because I'm convinced with what I'm seeing right now, with everybody living through everybody else, through social media and everything, that the moments of joy that people are having on a daily basis are few and far between. I think if a lot of people are honest with themselves that are like, okay, where, where am I finding joy in my, you know, in my life on a daily basis. You know, how frequently am I laughing each day? How? Right? Well, you know, I think having an understanding around those things is so important. We've only got one go around here, you know. Well, depending on what does she believe,
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John Mitchell: Let's go with just one. Let for for argument's sake,
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Kelly Hatfield: But you know, so you know, enjoy it, grab it with both, you know, arms and and and embrace it. And to do that, you really need to get to know yourself. And I, my concern is like, and we've talked about this off before recording. Is that, you know, technology, as wonderful as it is, is it? Is it, you know, allows people to kind of check out, you know, mental right, you know, and they're not doing the work to understand themselves. So I like everything you said is spot on.
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John Mitchell: Okay, well, I'll leave you with a final word. Your wife is precious, we'll see you next time.