Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: The Secret To Happiness

Transcript

#HURDLEMOMENT: The Secret To Happiness · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I am Tan, I am back from Miami. I'm in
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: a good mood. It's a beautiful day, and I am
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: back here with a new hurdle moment. You guys know
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the ship by now you are listening to my Wednesday
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Hurdle Moment segment, a love child of Hurdle, a podcast
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  Speaker 1: that talks to everyone from top CEOs and entrepreneurs to
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  Speaker 1: athletes about how they've gotten through tough times hurdles of
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  Speaker 1: sorts by leaning into wellness. I am Emily a Body,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and I feel like I have a lot of new
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  Speaker 1: hurdlers listening lately, so I feel as though it's appropriate
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  Speaker 1: for me to share a few fun facts. Fun facts, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: I live in a one bedroom on the Ever East
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  Speaker 1: Side in Manhattan. I was born and raised and went
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  Speaker 1: to college in Connecticut. Go Huskies. And I probably run
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  Speaker 1: at least five days a week before seven am. If
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you want to keep up with me while I do that,
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  Speaker 1: definitely have on over to my Instagram. It is at
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Emily a Body. Before I get into the meet of
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: this week's episode, I'm taking a quick moment to shout
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  Speaker 1: out my first hurdle moment partner, Wallaco. You know since
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  Speaker 1: I went full time into this being my own boss thing.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I've gotten to meet some pretty amazing founders and co founders,
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  Speaker 1: including my friends at WOLLACO, which stands for Way of
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Life Athletic Company. They just launched their Woman's line and
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  Speaker 1: if your local New York they host free Wednesday morning
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  Speaker 1: workouts that you've got to check out. Trust Me, they
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  Speaker 1: will kick your butt. You'll hear me talk about them
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  Speaker 1: over the next few months, but go check them out
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  Speaker 1: on Instagram. It's at Wallaco Woman spelled out wolacoh Woman.
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  Speaker 1: You might see someone you recognize on their page. For
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  Speaker 1: today's Hurdle Moment, I'm chatting about the really awesome opportunity
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  Speaker 1: we all have every single day to smile. Okay, not
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  Speaker 1: just smile, but be happy. Today I'm talking about the
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  Speaker 1: root of where that happy feeling comes from and offering
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  Speaker 1: up a good exercise that can help you get out
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  Speaker 1: of your own way, whether you're in a funk or
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: just need to do a little bit of that self
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  Speaker 1: work on social Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at Emily Body at
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  Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast and always available over email. You can hit
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: me up. It's Emily at Hurdle dot us. With that,
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  Speaker 1: let's get to hurdling. Happiness is how you feel about
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  Speaker 1: yourself when you're by yourself. Let that sink in for
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  Speaker 1: a moment. Yeah, it's not just something that should hinge
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  Speaker 1: on how someone else shows up for you or likes
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  Speaker 1: on social media. You have the opportunity every single day
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  Speaker 1: to do things that make you feel like a better you,
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  Speaker 1: a happier you, a person that you are proud to be.
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  Speaker 1: The fact is, if you're not happy with you, then
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  Speaker 1: you're not going to be happy in your relationships, or
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  Speaker 1: at your job or anywhere. Really. And although there are
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  Speaker 1: times that we feel like maybe out of our control,
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  Speaker 1: the fact is that we can change a lot of things.
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  Speaker 1: If I'm going to get real candid here, this was
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  Speaker 1: a lesson that I learned the hard way, give or take.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know. Five six years ago, maybe longer even,
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  Speaker 1: I was in a relationship that wasn't really good for me,
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  Speaker 1: with someone that was arguably a little bit emotionally manipulative.
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  Speaker 1: I made an appointment at a walking clinic one day
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  Speaker 1: because I was so frustrated that I had let my
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  Speaker 1: emotions take over. I was having trouble sleeping. I couldn't
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  Speaker 1: lay in bed at night without my head spinning, my
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  Speaker 1: mind racing, and I was so frustrated and I just
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  Speaker 1: wanted some help. The doctor offered to write me a
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  Speaker 1: prescription for what would have been anxiety medication, and I
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  Speaker 1: remember I walked out of there holding that piece of paper,
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  Speaker 1: and I called a good friend of mine who told
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  Speaker 1: me a not to fill the prescription and b instead
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  Speaker 1: to write down a list of all the things that
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  Speaker 1: I was in control of. And I thought that was
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  Speaker 1: an interesting approach, but given my circumstances, I also do
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: want to fill the prescription. I also wanted to make
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  Speaker 1: a change, and so I gave it a try. What
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  Speaker 1: I realized was this list was long. Through the exercise,
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  Speaker 1: I came understand that you can't always control your circumstances,
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  Speaker 1: but you have the power to influence what happens next.
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  Speaker 1: By writing down the things that I had to grasp on,
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  Speaker 1: I realized I had the opportunity to make a change
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  Speaker 1: instead of feeling in prisoned to close that story loop. Thankfully,
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  Speaker 1: this little exercise helped me get over the major hurdle
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  Speaker 1: of insomnia of sorts and eventually move away from a
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  Speaker 1: not so healthy situation. So here's what I want you
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  Speaker 1: to do. Right now, we have established that you are
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  Speaker 1: in control of your own happiness, but still sometimes it
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  Speaker 1: feels hard, and I get it. You're going to make
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  Speaker 1: two lists. You know I love lists. These lists are
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  Speaker 1: going to be on two different pieces of paper. On
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  Speaker 1: the top of your first piece of paper or maybe
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  Speaker 1: your first iPhone note, You're going to write down the
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  Speaker 1: heading things I love about myself. Maybe you like your
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  Speaker 1: sense of determination or your passionate personality. Maybe you are
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  Speaker 1: really good at sending handwritten notes that means you are
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  Speaker 1: compassionate and considerate. And also you really like your collarbones.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you like that you're family oriented, all the good stuff.
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  Speaker 1: The second list, ready, a little bit harder. Things I
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  Speaker 1: want to change about myself. Now, before you get aggressive, here,
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  Speaker 1: be easy. I'm not talking about like plastic surgery change.
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  Speaker 1: The point of this exercise is not for you to
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  Speaker 1: sit there for an hour and dwell about the things
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  Speaker 1: or nitpick about your appearance. Instead, it's to be honest
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  Speaker 1: with yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest part rate being upfront
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  Speaker 1: with the things that are making us frustrated or self
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  Speaker 1: conscious or angry or whatever. Plain and simple, you cannot
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  Speaker 1: change these things if you're too busy trying to overcompensate
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  Speaker 1: for them, and you definitely can't make a shift if
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  Speaker 1: you're not willing to show up for you. You may
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  Speaker 1: notice that one list easier right than the other, and
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  Speaker 1: that's okay. I also know this sounds weird, but it's
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  Speaker 1: also okay if you have some overlap. For instance, I
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  Speaker 1: feel hard. It's just in my nature, and that means
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  Speaker 1: that when I'm excited about something or someone, I'm one
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  Speaker 1: of those give it all you've got sort of people.
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  Speaker 1: I am all in. I don't jive necessarily well with
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  Speaker 1: people who don't really understand that. So while it's a
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  Speaker 1: quality that is definitely on the things I Like about
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  Speaker 1: my self list, sometimes it feels like it's also on
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  Speaker 1: the things I don't like about my self list. It
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  Speaker 1: means that I'm willing to put myself out there. It
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  Speaker 1: means that, maybe a little too soon, I'm willing to
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  Speaker 1: go to distance. But you know what, I've taken a
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  Speaker 1: step back, I've evaluated, and I've come to understand that
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  Speaker 1: I would rather be an f yes kind of girl
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  Speaker 1: than hold back. Sometimes. Anyway, you've got your two lists,
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  Speaker 1: your next action item, my friends, is putting them somewhere
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  Speaker 1: where you will see them regularly. Now I don't necessarily
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  Speaker 1: mean like on your fridge where all of your guests
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  Speaker 1: can see them as well, but maybe inside the cupboard
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  Speaker 1: where you keep your coffee cup, or inside your closet
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  Speaker 1: where you grab T shirts every day. Just like having
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  Speaker 1: a powerful mantra, looking at these lists over and over
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  Speaker 1: will inspire you to make a change and also embrace
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  Speaker 1: who it is you are. They're a reminder for you that, again,
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  Speaker 1: your happiness is in your control. You have the opportunity,
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  Speaker 1: and I know I use this word a lot to
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  Speaker 1: make positive changes for yourself, to influence your own smile,
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  Speaker 1: and that's pretty special. That's all for now. I know
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  Speaker 1: I'm always getting vulnerable with you, guys. I'm going out
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  Speaker 1: of my way to open this dialogue because it's something
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  Speaker 1: that I am passionate about. So that means that I
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  Speaker 1: want you to share with me as well, whether it
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  Speaker 1: is on Instagram by tagging me over at Emily a
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  Speaker 1: Body or at Hurdle podcast, or if it's via email
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  Speaker 1: Emily at Hurdle dot us. I want to hear about
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  Speaker 1: the work that you're putting in because it's really really
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  Speaker 1: special that we get to do this together. Have a
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  Speaker 1: great week everyone, I can't wait to see your lists
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  Speaker 1: and another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.