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How narcissists ACT when they meet your family · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how could narcissists act?
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  How could they behave when they meet your family or your
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  friends? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I bought it back out, bought the Clapper out the the Clapper, not
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  the cheek Clapper, just the Clapper overall in general.
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  But yeah, yeah, how could a narcissist act?
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  How could they behave if and when they meet your family,
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  typically your family, but it could be friends could be
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  included in here as well. This is what happened.
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  This is like, not every single narcissist is going to behave
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  the same way. We all know that.
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  And I'm just get it out the way now because people hear me say
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  this and I'm like, well, Lee, my partner didn't act like that.
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  Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.
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  I get it. But narcissistic people, y'all,
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  a lot of narcissists are going like reputation is everything to
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  most, most narcissists. Some narcissists when you get to
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  the the psychopathic level, they don't give a damn about their
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  reputation. They just want vengeance.
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  They want to just hurt. They want to get supplied,
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  whatever what, you know what I mean?
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  But there are a lot of narcissists out there who just
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  care. It's just like they their
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  reputation is the most important thing to them, more important
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  than damn air, right? So my reputation is more
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  important than than air to me. I'm going to try to protect it
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  at all costs. I want people to like me, right?
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  So, so there could be two different ways, y'all, There
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  could be two different ways the narcissist can be there's,
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  there's a plethora of different ways, but two main ways they
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  could try to protect their reputation at all costs.
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  So if I'm meeting your friends and family, I want them on my
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  side. I want them to like me.
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  And because I'm a because I'm an extremely analytical person, I'm
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  always going to be thinking whether or not I'm winning your
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  family and friends over. You know what I'm saying?
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  I'm going to always going to think, how can I win him over?
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  Like, if I want, I want, I want them on my side because I want
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  them to approve of me. Because if they approve of me,
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  that I can get you. You know what I'm saying?
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  If I, if they approve of me, then I can get you.
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  Ain't that right? Is it?
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  Is it how it works? If they approve of me, then you
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  approve of me, then I win. So when I meet your family, I'm
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  going to be on my best damn behavior.
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  Why? Yeah.
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  Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I be on my best
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  behavior? Why wouldn't I?
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  Why the hell wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I not be on my best
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  behavior if I'm, if I'm, if it's going, if it's going to benefit
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  me in some way, shape or form, why wouldn't I?
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  I feel like that's what a lot of people got to understand, like
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  most narcissists are going to be on their best behavior when they
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  meet your family and friends because at the end of the day,
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  it's going to benefit them. So they're going to, they're
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  going to, no matter what they've done to you, no matter what
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  stage of the relationship this is in, if reputation is
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  everything to them, if it's super important to them, then
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  they're going to be on their best behavior, smiling, shaking
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  hands, dancing, doing everything, doing everything
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  that they can to win your family and friends over.
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  This is what they're going to do.
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  This is what a lot of them are going to do.
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  They're going to do whatever they can to win your family and
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  friends over because at the end of the day, it benefits them to
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  do that. Like you're we love Lee.
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  Hey, Lee had everybody laughing. He was doing a little dance.
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  He was doing a little dance. Everybody was laughing.
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  You see what I'm saying? And you if I've been treating
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  you badly by this time, you angry as hell.
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  You like damn y'all? Ain't going.
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  Y'all ain't going. Y'all can't spot this.
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  Y'all ain't seen this. Y'all ain't seen how you think
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  he acting? What?
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  What? And that could be extremely
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  frustrating to you, right? Because you see, I've acted,
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  I've behaved in a certain type of way with you and that with
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  everybody else, they don't see it.
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  And that can be an extremely frustrating space for you to be
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  in. You know what I mean?
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  That can be an extremely frustrating space for you to be
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  a part of and whatnot. That's how it goes, You know,
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  that's literally how it goes. That's how narcissistic people
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  do. That's what narcissistic people
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  do like they will put on their best behavior because they want
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  your family and friendly. Let's just say family because
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  family and friends. I keep saying family and
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  friends. That's going to be 232 family
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  and friends, 5 syllables. I can say friendly and we can do
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  3 syllables. So they want your family to like
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  them because they want them on their side.
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  Because if rumors come out, if rumors spread or we break up,
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  you leave me, you break up with me.
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  Guess what? If you break up with me and then
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  we got these, these rumors has spread and whatnot.
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  Like if if you break on me, I can reach out to your family and
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  friends. I'm going to say family and
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  friends y'all, and they might be on my side to give, to reach out
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  to you, to contact you, to get to talk you in to giving me
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  another chance. You don't want to walk away from
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  this. Lee's a great guy.
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  He's a great person. Why would you leave him?
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  We thought y'all seem so happy at the cookout.
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  Y'all seem so happy at the cookout.
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  What happened now you know what I what what happened that
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  between now and then like y'all should y'all y'all I can tell
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  you I was truly in love even though I done cheated, put my
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  hands on you, whatever I done and lied to you, stole some
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  money from you, ghosted you whatever I've done, if I have a
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  good reputation with your family and friends, then they might
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  just be put a word in your ear to convince you to give me
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  another chance. So I successfully guess what
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  I've done, I've successfully turned your family and friends
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  into my flying monkeys. And that's you going to hate
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  that. You going to hate that because
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  if that if that's worked to my advantage, then I've
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  successfully turned your family and friends into my flying
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  monkeys. They're going to do my bidding.
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  They're going to reach out to you.
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  They're going to give me your address.
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  They're going to give me your new phone number, yet you've
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  changed. You know what I mean?
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  They're going to do whatever it takes for me to get you back
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  because they like me, remember now they like me.
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  So now they're going to put the word in for me.
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  Now they're going to do this type of stuff for me.
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  This is how it's going to work. So you have to be prepared for
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  that, you know, like so you have to be prepared for that.
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  When you go no contact and you break it with me, you discard me
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  or whatever it is. You have to tell your family and
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  friends like, hey, look, don't get in, don't get in my number,
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  don't tell them my address, don't tell and have them see me
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  something. Don't pass a don't pass a
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  message from them to me. I'm no contact.
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  I need y'all to be no contact as well.
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  You see what I'm saying? I need y'all to be on y'all, my
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  family, y'all, my friends. Y'all need to protect, protect
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  me. Y'all need to help guide me,
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  help me heal. Don't try to leave me, don't
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  give me well intended bad advice and lead me back into this
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  toxicity. Don't do that, don't do that.
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  You see what I'm saying? You don't want that type of
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  stuff to happen because if that happens then you lose.
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  You know what I mean? And this is a space that so many
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  people have to fall into right here.
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  So I'll say this as well. Y'all but narcissistic people
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  like are using your family and friends as fly monkeys.
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  Not everybody has to do this, but sometimes y'all have to cut
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  your family and friends down. Cut the contact down.
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  You don't necessarily have to cut them off, but you have to
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  cut the contact down. If they're not willing to listen
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  to you and help you, stay no contact and stop passing
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  messages back and forth. Stop.
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  Stop trying to set you up on a blind date with this person to
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  see them again. You know what I mean?
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  Sometimes you have to lower the contact to protect yourself in
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  these spaces. This is what has to happen
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  sometimes, you know what I mean? So you have to protect your
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  peace. You have to protect yourself in
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  this space. But the second way that this
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  could go is that narcissist, when they meet your family and
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  friends, they could be dismissive of them.
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  Like if they get a bad vibe, sometimes they don't even have
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  to get a bad vibe. But if they get a bad vibe for
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  your family and friends, they could try to sort of isolate you
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  away from them. This is when the isolation
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  period can begin. This is when the isolation from
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  them can start. Your mom doesn't really like me.
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  I can tell your dad. Just give me the sad eye.
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  Your sister wants to bang me. Whatever it is, very rarely is
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  it rooted in, I mean, your, your parents and your family and
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  friends might not actually like them because they can sense who
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  they are or you've already told them something behind the scenes
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  of the, of the relationship that makes them not like them
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  already. So it's just like, and they
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  haven't, they, they haven't done anything to, to rectify their
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  relationship, to improve their relationship.
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  They haven't done anything to change it.
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  Right. So that happens to so many
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  people in these spaces. It really, really does.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, this is
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  something you have to consider as well.
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  Sometimes your family and friends might not like them, but
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  it might be for good reason. They might can sense that
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  they're abusive. They might know that they're
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  abusive. They might already know who they
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  are like you dating this bum ass dude that we all know what
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  you're doing with this person. You dating this, this wild ass
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  girl that everybody knows and is this toxic and then then
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  cheating on every person she's with.
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  What are you doing with her? You ain't they, they, they have
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  their pre they, you know, they already have their biases, you
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  know, but some of them biases are for good reasons.
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  So they've already been abusive. They just got out of the jail
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  for abusing their last part or something like that.
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  People are going to be on the alert for you.
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  But so narcissistic people when they meet your family friends
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  coming from that space, they might not want to go.
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  They might, they might be one meeting and done.
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  They never want to see your family again, right?
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  And if they don't want to see your family, guess what happens?
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  They don't want you to see your family either.
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  It's not just the one sided thing.
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  If I don't like your family, then you don't need to like your
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  family either. Is that crazy?
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  What it sounds? If I don't like them, then you
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  don't like them either. We're a unit.
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  We're a couple. Y'all might be married.
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  It's crazy. Some, some people get married
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  before their families are introduced and are there like
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  sometimes there's a distance, different countries, different
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  cultures, Whatever it is, sometimes it's just, yeah, I'm
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  just moving too fast. Got married.
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  We got married over the weekend. Now I got to tell my parents.
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  Now my parents got to meet my part, meet my spouse for the
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  first time after we were already married and got a baby on the
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  way. They'd be wild, y'all.
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  But some nurses want to create some distance between you and
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  your family. They want to isolate you away
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  from your family and friends. They don't like your family and
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  friends. They don't want them around.
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  They make a fuss every time you get ready to go out with your
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  friends or family. Every time you get ready to go
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  see your friends and family, they make a fuss.
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  They don't they don't necessarily have to make a loud
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  fuss. They can just, we go again.
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  They can start making noises and grunting and stuff like that and
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  acting disturbed. But when you ask them, are you
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  disturbed? What's wrong?
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  I'm just going to see my mom and dad.
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  Well, nothing. Go see.
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  Go ahead and go see him and you know something, you can tell by
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  their energy that something's wrong.
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  You know by their energy, you know by their reaction that
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  something is going on, that something is wrong.
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  But again, this is how the space goes.
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  This is how the mind goes. This is the this is the
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  mentality of it right here. Some of them want to isolate you
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  from your family and friends. So if they, if they successfully
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  isolate you, they can get you to themselves.
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  And when they get you to yourselves, when you get them
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  when, when they get you to themselves that you have no
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  support system, they don't want to have you.
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  They don't want you to have a support system, especially if
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  their support system is against them.
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  If their support system is against them, they don't want
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  you to have it. Doesn't that make sense to most
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  people right now? If your support system is
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  against them, they don't want you to have it.
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  I feel like that's clear, isn't it?
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  I feel like, but it, it just makes sense like see they, some
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  of them will absolutely in conclusion, some of them will
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  absolutely try to wine and dine and impress your family and
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  friends. They would love bombing your
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  family and friends. While others will try to be
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  dismissive of them and create distance and try to isolate you.
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  You know, if you've experienced this with meeting your family,
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  I'll do another video about meeting their family.
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  But if you experience this meeting your family, drop a
• 11:37
  comment in the comment section. Let me know how it went and if
• 11:40
  you're in the Dallas, TX or Houston, TX area.
• 11:42
  Dallas on the 2nd of November, Houston on the 3rd of November.
• 11:45
  We will be live in person for our next live in person event.
• 11:48
  You can get registered today because the limited cities.
• 11:50
  The cities are booking up pretty quickly as well.
• 11:52
  Mental illness.net/events for Dallas on the 2nd of November,
• 11:58
  Houston on the 3rd of November. Get registered up live in person
• 12:01
  workshop. The last one we had in DC was
• 12:03
  amazing. We've done Austin, TX before,
• 12:05
  but Houston and Dallas were coming your way.
• 12:07
  Get registered up and I cannot wait to see you.
• 12:08
  Mental illness is out. Peace.
• 12:10
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 12:12
  I'm in extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 12:14
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• 12:16
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• 12:19
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• 12:21
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• 12:24
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• 12:26
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 12:28
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:29
  Peace.