Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #204: It's a Trap!

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Happy Hour #204: It's a Trap! · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and one of the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: stuff I've never told you prodiction of iHeartRadio, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another edition of half Hour. On a very dreary Thursday.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We are recording this very spirit.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: We're gonna get another snow apocalypse possibly or isogeddon. I
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: think it could be ice.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be ice, which is not fun.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: That is not what we like, that's not what we want.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: This is not what we talked about.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, as always with these halfy hours, if you
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: choose to drink, please do so responsibly. Samantha, are you
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: doing anything responsibly? Over there?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Always things responsibly? I am a responsible, boring adult that
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: drinks water. End of story. Currently a peppermint because my
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: tummy is not happy with me. I'm not sure why,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: but it's okay. Peppermints for the wind, not for me. Yeah,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: not for you unless you're any and allergic.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, So today's episode is going to be a chin
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: wine or kind of a wallow in wine actually, but
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: it's it's all gonna be fine. I've psycked myself up
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: for it. It's not going to be bad. So it
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: is just my usual red wine I was going to
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: make like a hot tidy situation because it is cold.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, this feels right for this topic.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: So before we start this, I want to say everything
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: in this is one hundred percent my opinion. Uh, and
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: it is my experience and it is how I deal
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: with things. I don't think I'm alone by any means,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: but I certainly don't speak for everyone. I know. Oh,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: this is a people have a lot of emotions and
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: thoughts about all of this. So just gonna put that
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: out there at the top, all right. So it finally
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: happened to me, Samantha, I was successfully queer baited. It happened.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: And don't get me wrong, I have watched shows that
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I would classify as queer baits, but either I'm too
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: cynical or like, that'll never happen. They'll never give me
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: what I want, which is, you know, a queer relationship.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: But so I've never actually believed it could happen. Who anyway,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: if you haven't listened to our episode on queer baiting,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: you can. It's kind of old. We should probably that
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: was back in our early days, Samantha, when we did
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: that one.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't feel like that long ago, because I
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: can remember it.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was ago. It probably was. So you
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: can go back and listen to that if you want,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: if you want to know more. But basically, what I
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: will say is some people disagree on what qualifies as
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: queer bait. I would say there are some examples that
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: are just straight up queer bait, and then there are
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: some that are kind of in a more gray area.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: But yeah, some people do disagree. If you want to
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: go and hear more about that, check out that episode.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I actually I actually wrote out a whole thing. I
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: never do this for a happy hour. Oh my god. Okay,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: So I actually don't really want to talk about what
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: happened to me. I want to talk about the aftermath
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: of it because I am still processing. I am going
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: through Like I said in our New Year's episode, I
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: am processing a lot of queer stuff. I've been thinking
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: about queer issues for a while and I didn't realize it,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: and I have been doing some of those episodes over
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: the past month. So I think we'll keep talking about it,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: but I do, yeah, I want to talk about kind
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: of the what the fallout and the realizations I had
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: after it, and I do want to be clear about this.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I might sound a little jokey because that is how
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I handle things, but it can sucked. Man. Like I
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: feel like I was hanging out with some friends that
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I trusted. I was having a grand old time. We
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: were like in a car, we were laughing, and then
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: they sucker punstry in the face, threw me out the
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: car and left me ted dead on the highway like
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I was. I know. It was like I was so
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: full of hope and then I was so shocked and
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I was so hurt. I cried for like two days.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no, I was miserable. So when I say
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: like I'm making this sound jokey, I was miserable. And
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: then I made it another friends problem and I made
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: her sit through a two plus hour presentation that had
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: videos and images to prove I was not delusional.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: When I tell this a YouTube thing that you show
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: or did you create this thing?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I created? Okay, I brought together clips from YouTube, so
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: in that sense I created it. Yes, Yeah, I had
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: to back up my points.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Well, I love that this is not an essay, but
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: it was a visual representation this time.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: See when I tell you I write these essays, I
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: need you to believe.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: It is true, but you've come to the new reform.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I asked her. I was like, would you prefer powerpois or.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Do you want me to write this out? Do you
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: want me to make this a musical or would you
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: like it in video form?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed. And she was like, I have my
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: one condition. I'm going to take a candid picture of
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: you doing it. And it's very funny because there's a
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't place it there specifically or purposefully, but there's
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: a like affirmation box I have that says calm right
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: in front of me, and I'm clearly not calm.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I like, she took a photo evidence. I'm sure I'll
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: reach out to her and find it.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Don't keep don't, don't, don't, don't don't. I'm embarrassed anyway,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: but it was because I was yeah, I was like, so,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: it was just so I was distraught and I was
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: confused and I needed someone to be like, no, I'm
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: sorry you're coming from And after I did that, I
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: cried some more because I brought up new I like
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: dredged it all back up. So if this has happened
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: to you, I am really sorry. I'm really, really really sorry,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: So do not take any of this as dismissal. This
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: is just me coping right now.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Any way to cope.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I can't really tell you, I suppose how
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you have to handle it in your life, but I
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: promise you I was legitimately hurt. I did kind of
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: feel traumatized. And there are a lot of reasons for this, because,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: first of all, I want to talk about the delusional part,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: where it immediately becomes like, oh, I was delusional this
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: whole time, and that's what people will say online. One
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: of the things that really hurts about being queer abated,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: which if you don't know, I feel like it's pretty obvious,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: but it's like you're given hints or promises of a
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: queer romantic relationship through the source material and usually those
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: involved making it, and then it not coming to fruition.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Usually at the very end, it's like you're so happy
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and you're looking for these things and you're getting all
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: these signals that it might happen, and then they're like, oh,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: actually not, and then they make fun of you for it.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: How could you have ever believed that, like obviously that
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: would never ever happen. And that sucks because as a
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: queer person, not only do you have to like really
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: look for good representation and then you find crumbs of
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: it where you can. But at least some of us
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: feel this and real life like we feel delusional looking
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: for any sign that someone is like us, that someone
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: might like us. And you know, like straight people have
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: signals too, and there's that level of like reading into
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: signals for any relationship, but when you're queer, it can
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: feel much more rare and much more unsafe to misinterpret
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: those things. So when we are talking about like compets
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: our compulsory heterosexuality, which we have recently are internalized homophobia.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I hadn't realized until recently how much I do micromanage
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: things so someone can misinterpret them because I'm gay and
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: they might misinterpret something and I don't want that, and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: that usually looks like withdraw. I think that looks like
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: withdraw for a lot of queer people, but especially for me,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: it looks like, oh, I can't contact them first. I
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: can never do this first. And I'm not even talking
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: about guys, I'm talking about anybody like. I don't want
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: to be the one that does that because they might
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: misread it, and then the other person of course, is thinking, well,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: they don't want to talk to me. She never reaches
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: out first. It's just a mess. So yeah, those are
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: the things that you're It's very like projecting, it's very
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: reading into yourself. But you're thinking like, what if they
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: think I'm flirting and they're disgusted by it? What if
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: they realize what I am? And then you shut down
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: an you wait for them to come to you. And again,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: this is not unique to queer people, but it is
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: something that for a lot of us ties back to
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: fear and shame. So when you're consuming media and you're
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: trying to read into these signals that sometimes feel pretty clear,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: and then they tell you like you are illusional, it's
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: very destabilizing, and people make you feel embarrassed and perverted
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: about it, which I'm going to get into a more second,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: but anyway, I don't feel like they do this with
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: straight couples, especially like the you must be perverted part.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I'm still hung up on that, and I am embarrassed
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and I feel stupid. And this is why I brought
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: my friend and made her watch this Present Day because
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, I needed somebody to tell me I
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: hadn't lost my mind because people online were like, oh,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: y'all are desperate, and I was like, yeah, kinda for
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: good representation kind of yes, And it's all sad, Like
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: you start you are not only questioning everything you're doing
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: as a real life queer person, you start questioning everything
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: someone else is doing, and like how you're reading into
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: what they are doing, and it's just very confusing. And
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I think it probably can be fun when you know
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: someone else's sextuality or you feel really confident in yours,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: but for a lot of us, it's not so fun.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: So having something like this is just painful. And sometimes
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: you do you resign yourself to a life of never
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: finding what you want, and then you think you're finally
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: gonna see some queer joy and then you don't get
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: it and you're like, well, see, there it is. And
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: also this is a topic for another another day. But
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of the queer baiting stuff, I've actually missed
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: a lot of the big ones. Some of you have
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: written in about some of the queer baiting shipping wars
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: you've been involved with, and I've luckily sailed by. But
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of thing that does come up with many
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: of them is queer trauma versus queer joy, So a
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: lot of times it will be like a very sad
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: queer story and then maybe like a hint of joy
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: that you don't really see anywhere. So another thing this
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: is also going to have to be I'm still wrestling
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: with this. I've been wrestling with this for a while.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: But there's this idea that I've seen around queer baiting
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: a lot where people are like almost implying that you're
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: a Monster's too strong a word, but like just that
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: why do you have to take everything like it means
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: something it doesn't have to mean anything. Are like why
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: can't they just be friends or whatever? Which I'm gonna
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: come back to in a second. But one thing that
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: has stuck out to me. I this is years ago,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: this happened, and I'm still dealing with it, But there
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: was this big there's a big narrative of around queer
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: baiting that's usually like character X is making character why uncomfortable,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: which I would disagree with given the only like the
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: constant monitoring thing that usually do as a queer person,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: But okay, sure, but it did remind me of when
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: longtime friend of mine, many many many years ago told
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: me that he wanted to date, and I was devastated
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: because I thought it meant that I had been leading
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: him on when I thought I was just being friendly
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: and how I scared of my own body, and I
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: very dramatically wrote about how I was a monster in
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: my journal. I felt awful, But it wasn't anything that
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: he did. It wasn't anything I did, to be honest,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: but I was shifting the blame onto me. And we've
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: talked about this before. A lot of women do. This
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: is not just a queer thing. But I guess what
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to say when it comes to this conversation
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: is that, yeah, it can be scary when a friend
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: feels differently than you do. But I wasn't uncomfortable by
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: what he did. Afterwards, after he told me, I started
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: to like be like, oh, I wasn't seeing it that way.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I definitely didn't think he'd done anything like perverted or wrong.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: And I did end updating him four years because that's
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: what I thought I was supposed to want and supposed
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: to do. And that comes back to the compulsory heterosexuality conversation.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't think I see that
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: as much with straight couples and media where they're immediately like, oh,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: it's making him feel uncomfortable or she's making her feel uncomfortable.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I don't think so it's not anything major.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: And yes, like I said, another of the big ones is, no,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: they can't just be best friends. We're all for friends.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: You know, Samantha and I love best friends. Those is
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: probably some of the best relationships you can see. Forget
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: all this romance. But so, I mean sometimes, especially if
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: they're giving you, like as an audience, like clear insight
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: into a character's thoughts, intentional choices and music and color
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: and set design and everything that's meant to communicate things.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: So oh, sure, I love best friends, but it would
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: be nice if it wasn't always directed at like a
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: potential queer couple that was probably queer bait that, oh,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: it can't just be friends. I'm like, sure, but that's
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: not what they were telling us. With all this information,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: and y'all know, like, I feel like I'm just going
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: on a while. This is why I had to write
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: this one out. I'm getting derailed. But y'all know, I
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: process things easier through fictional works and characters. So to
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: experience this. It was not good. It was not good
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: for me, and especially like there was also just dismissing
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: it as a joke. I feel like I said that,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: but like kind of the not only are you delusional?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: That's very funny that you thought that. I've learned a lot.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: That's what I'll say. I've learned a lot through this journey.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I've learned so much about color theory and music theory.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: And it's very funny to see other people talking about
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: this and just be like, oh, okay, so I'm not
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: the only one. I mean, presentation was pretty good. And
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: my friend, I have to say when she when it
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: was over, she was like, you convinced me and she
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: said it like she meant it. So before somebod y'all
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: you did this.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Did she have that same feeling of puibating doing that point.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I don't think she'd formed enough. Okay, I like opinion
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: about it. She was a what a sport? What a sport?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: But it's funny because I, you know, I'm an ace
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: person and so kind of cracks me up how much
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: I've learned through this. But it it's also funny because
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I have realized this over the years. I could care
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: less about straight couples. Usually I do not care. But
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: if it's a queer couple, even if that's not like
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: what I like identify with, I don't really want to
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: be with somebody. I still want that that I'm interested
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: in and that I want to see because I always
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: get kind of hung up on that, and I think
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: it's just because you don't see it very often. And
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: as you know, I love fan fiction. I love it.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, I write it. But
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: sometimes you do want to like see it or read it,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: and you want other people to see it or read
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: it too, like to see that it's possible. It's not delusional.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: This does exist, and this is like the pros and
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: cons of loving something to the can hurt you so bad.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: And I love these things so much and so it
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: got me.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: So, how do you feel about the show now? You
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: still love the show? I don't know the show talking about.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: So well, no, no, no, I don't want to say that.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I'm still like processing the whole thing, and I have
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: like coping mechanisms and basically headcannon, headcannon. But that's yeah,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: coping mechanism. But yeah, that's the other thing is like
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: clearly there's an audience for clear romance, and not even
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: just for queer people. You can see some examples going
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: on right now, despite what some studios seem to believe,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: because a lot of times they'll put like one like
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Star Wars. It is the first one that's coming to mind,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: but you know, like two seconds of a gay couple kissing.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: They're like sweet it, and you're like no, but you
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: all have also had a bunch of other couples. You
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: could have like are you put it in your comics?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Which I love, but they're just not mainstream as much
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: as like movies or the shows Learner or something like that.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: This is also another reminder as what why we need
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: fandom therapists. Yep, I could have saved my friend a lot.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Would you have presented this to your therapists.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Well, the fandom therapist would know about it already, so
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: you don't have to get into the I could.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Have just like, that's gonna be hard because as any therapist,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: sometimes they hit new traumas that you have to kind
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: of work with them through. So I don't think that's
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: entirely fair, But especially if it's like newer releases of
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: stuff they weren't ready for. But the queer baiting part
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I bet they would be ready for. I think they
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: would be ready for it, but not specifically to this show.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe. Yeah, well that's why fictional therapist here, they would
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: have fictional thing. I like that. I like that. Yeah,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: they would have to have specialties. That's why, Like when
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I was thinking about what mine would be, I could
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: talk very specifically about like grief and loss and last
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: of us, I could talk about, oh, how Canon can
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: really hurt you with Star Wars destruction of something you
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: loved and have it used for something else, Like I
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: would have specialties.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, no, No, it's been like I've just got
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: a lot going through my head and there are at
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: least two things in here I want to come back
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: and talk about more. So I have been learning a lot.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: You know, you finally get cleervated in your thirties, you
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: start thinking about it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: You got it, You got to walk it through, you.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Do you do, And I'm doing my best, but I don't. Yeah,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: like I said, I know, I'm like laughing through the
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: but we've heard from people how much it hurt you,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: and so yeah, just if it has happened to you.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I'm very sorry, and you can write in about whatever.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: We had somebody write in a very intense email that
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I think they were also using humor to cope once.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: But she was like, I survived this war, this war,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: this queer baiting war. So you're a soldier.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: He's ready.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So, listeners, let us know any thoughts about this
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: or if you have any unfortunate experience with it, And
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: thank you for letting me ramble like I was racing through.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: You really were, but it was. I'm glad you had
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: the moment to be able to let it out. I'm
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: also curious about this presentation. We'll talk about it later.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, maybe I'll publish it, maybe one day when I've
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: moved on and doesn't hurt anymore, or it's like behind me,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: I'll publish it, okay. But in the meantime, listeners, if
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: you would like to contact us, you can. Our email
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: is hello at Stuffwenever Told You dot com. You can
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: also find us on Blue Skype, Mom Stuff podcast, or
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok at stuff one Never Told You.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. We have a book, and we
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: have some new merchandise at comp Bureau. Thanks as always
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: to our super du Christina or executive producer My and
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: your contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: listening stuff Never told you. Specture of I Heart Radio.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: out the heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or where you
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows,