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Do narcissists ever really offer any type of sincere apology? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about apologies from a narcissist.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Y'all apologies from a
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  narcissist. Do narcissists even really
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  apologize? Do they ever actually mean it
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  when they apologize? Lee, help me out.
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  Please. Please, please, please, please.
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  Y'all, you got to bear with me. So do narcissist apologize.
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  I know some people are going to be like Lee, narcissist never
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  apologize. I never got an apology in
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  10/15/20 years I was with this person.
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  They never apologize. Some narcissist will never ever
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  utter, utter, utter, UTTER, utter the words I'm sorry.
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  They will never ever apologize to you because they don't feel
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  like they need to or they feel like they're too embarrassed to
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  apologize and they just feel like you should get over it.
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  Some narcissist will never ever say that.
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  Y'all. And I feel like in this
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  situation right now, where you are right now, who you are right
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  now, If you're in a relationship with somebody who has never ever
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  apologized to you, ask yourself this question right here.
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  Is that relationship worth salvaging or continuously
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  continuing to move forward with somebody who doesn't take your
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  fillings into account? I'm not telling you to leave.
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  I'm just saying take into account what is going on here.
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  You know, actually realize what you're going through and what
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  you're going with, who you're dealing with and what you're
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  actually going through. You know, it's just me.
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  I'm not like I'm just, I'm hey, I'm just, I'm just asking
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  questions, you know, this is what I'm here for.
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  But this is what happens. Like I said.
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  So ask yourself that question because some of them will never,
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  ever open their mouths and apologize to you because they
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  don't. Let's be realistic.
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  They don't care about apologizing to you.
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  They don't care about your emotional state.
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  They don't really don't care, you know, But some narcissist in
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  toxic people will apologize to you.
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  Some will apologize to you, but they they, when I say apologize
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  to you, I don't mean change behaviors.
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  I just mean saying the words I'm sorry.
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  Some of them will literally open their mouths and say I'm sorry,
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  oh again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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  They would just say the words I'm sorry, but they're like,
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  yeah, so many. I think a lot of people get
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  caught up on hearing the words I'm sorry and don't focus on do
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  they actually mean it? Are they saying like ask
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  yourself why are they saying I'm sorry or I apologize Because
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  some of them will absolutely say it but ask yourself do they mean
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  it and or does this carry any weight here?
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  Ask yourself that question right here.
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  Does this, does this carry any weight right here?
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  Because most times it doesn't. Most times this is not this does
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  not carry any weight, any any weight, any way shape or form.
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  It just doesn't. They just say the words I'm
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  sorry. Probably to get you to shut the
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  hell up. Probably just get you to be
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  quiet. Probably just to get you to drop
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  it right. They don't care how you feel.
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  Again, They don't care how you feel.
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  They just care about it. They are centering themselves in
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  their apology to you by just saying the words I'm sorry.
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  They don't doubt doubt. Very rarely they they say those
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  words. Those words don't mean anything.
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  Yeah, I'm sorry. Without changed behavior means
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  nothing. Means absolutely nothing.
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  It just it really doesn't. What is it?
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  Y'all. I mean, so many people get
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  caught up on hearing the words I'm sorry.
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  You think that's it? They're like, oh, he said I'm
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  sorry, OK, cool. Oh, she said at least at least
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  she said I'm sorry. I see this in my comment
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  sections all the time. Y'all where I do videos about
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  apologies from narcissists and people will say I'm sorry.
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  At least they said I'm sorry. Just because they said I'm sorry
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  doesn't mean that they actually truly remorseful or mean it.
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  They're just saying the words I'm sorry.
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  People need to learn how to apologize and how to really say
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  what a true apology actually is. You know, because a lot of
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  people don't know what a true what a true apology actually is,
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  what a true apology actually looks like.
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  So many people don't get get caught up in that space that
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  they really don't understand what it actually is.
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  Somebody saying the words I'm sorry means absolutely nothing
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  to it. What are they apologizing for?
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  True apologies, Y'all require. This is a requirement of a of a
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  true apology. This is no, this is not an if,
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  ands or buts. This is the requirement of a
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  true apology. Specificity.
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  What the hell are you apologizing for?
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  Because narcissistic people rarely apologize with any type
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  of specificity. What the hell are you
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  apologizing for? Because if if they say something
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  like I'm sorry for everything, what the hell does that mean?
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  The other person on the receiving end of this apology
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  y'all just want to hear the words apologize, I apologize.
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  Or I'm sorry that y'all don't. You don't make them dig deeper
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  because if they are truly sorry, they can apologize for some
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  specificity. I'm sorry for I'm sorry for
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  everything. What does everything mean?
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  What do you be specific? Ask for now.
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  You're asking for too much. I'm asking for too much.
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  You hurt me. Apologize.
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  I'm asking for too much now. How I'm sorry for everything.
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  What does everything mean? Give me everything.
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  Tell me what everything means. I need to know.
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  I need to know What does everything mean?
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  Quickly now. I'm sorry for hurting you.
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  How did you hurt me? I'm sorry you feel that way.
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  I you. So are you sorry?
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  I feel this way. Why do I feel this way?
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  Y'all got to get some specificity you have.
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  They have to get specific. Narcissist don't get specific
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  most of the time. Very rarely are they specific
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  with their apologies. Very rarely do they do things
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  like that. Very rarely when they offer you
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  any type of specificity so you can feel good about the
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  situation. Very rarely do they do that.
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  You know, that's very rarely would they do things like that.
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  And like I said, you, you keep moving, you have to keep moving
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  forward. It like another thing, a true
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  apology requires specificity, genuine remorse, and changed
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  behavior. Yo, I know it sounds like you're
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  asking for a lot, but you're really not.
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  If they are asking you for forgiveness, they want you to
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  forgive them for all the stuff that they did, Then they need to
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  apologize for all the stuff that they did, have some genuine
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  remorse, and change those behaviors they do.
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  Genuine remorse means you. You should be able to take a
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  little push back on from what I'm saying to you right now for
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  what I'm doing to you right now. You should be able to take a
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  little bit of pushback, push back on me a little bit, give me
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  a little bit, you know what I mean?
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  Give me a little, give me a little.
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  You should be able to take a little bit of pushback because
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  that's what it's going to require a lot of times.
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  Y'all, that's the requirement. If you're genuinely remorseful
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  and I push back on your apology a little bit, then you should be
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  able to take it, shouldn't you? It should be able to withstand
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  the test of time. You should be able to take it
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  right. You hurt me.
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  I'm not really ready right now to accept this apology in its
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  current form. Get specific, give me some
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  remorse, and give me some changed behavior.
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  Well, I can't do all of that. Well, then you're not really
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  sorry then, are you? Are you?
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  Are you? Are you?
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  You see, you're not really sorry if you're not taking
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  accountability. They have to take
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  accountability. Y'all the apologies require
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  specificity, genuine remorse, change behaviors and
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  accountability. Accountability can look
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  different to everybody. Y'all whatever accountability
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  looks like to you. A public apology.
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  You know? If they publicly embarrassed
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  you, should they give you a public apology?
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  Should they? You know, if they publicly
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  shamed you, if they publicly, if they embarrass you in front of
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  your friends and family, shouldn't they have to apologize
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  to those friends and family members as well?
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  Why would they put the burden on you?
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  They embarrass you in front of your friends and family.
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  And somehow it's your responsibility to to get
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  apologies, to apologize to your friends and family on their
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  behalf. No.
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  Take some goddamn accountability and go over there and I say got.
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  I know some people get the religious people.
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  You say God. No, I did not say God.
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  I say got GAT got. Got you.
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  Have to take some. You.
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  You really have to take some accountability.
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  Go apologize to everybody else. You hurt not just me.
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  Because you didn't just hurt me. I told everybody.
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  Well, why You told everybody What I need is your fault.
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  You got no. You hurt me.
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  This one must sit on it. This is why I keep stuff between
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  us. No.
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  You embarrass me. Go embarrass yourself.
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  You could take a little embarrassment.
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  Go apologize to my mom. Go apologize to my dad.
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  Go apologize to my sisters and brothers.
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  Apologize to my coworkers. Apologize to all the people you
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  embarrassed me in front of. I ain't going to do.
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  I can't do all day right now. You see, I don't see why we got
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  to do that. It's between us.
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  It's our relationship. You embarrassed me.
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  Take some accountability. What does accountability look
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  like to y'all? Hit me.
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  Hit me. What does accountability look
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  like to y'all hit me. Now you have to be able to hit
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  me with it. What does accountability look
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  like to y'all apply it. You know, apply it, apply that
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  accountability, apply it. Because that's what works right
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  here. Y'all they have to be willing
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  to. Those don't.
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  Yeah, it don't seem like a lot, but it is a lot.
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  To a narcissist. Genuine, like I said,
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  specificity, genuine account, genuine remorse and change,
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  behaviours and accountability. Accountability has no end to it
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  either. Y'all, if I say it has to
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  withstand the test of time, it has to.
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  It absolutely has to withstand the test of time.
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  Because if it doesn't, you mean if it doesn't with if it doesn't
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  stand the test of time, then what is it really?
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  Is it really worth anything at all?
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  You mean everybody? Just tell everybody.
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  Narcissistic people very rarely are going to offer you any type
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  of apologies with any type of specificity behind it.
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  So if you like, say if you're dealing with a narcissist and
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  you've been in a relationship, you haven't got an apology in 20
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  years, why do you think they're going to apologize now?
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  Now they've been now in their minds, they they're it's cool
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  for them not to apologize. Now, in their minds, it's fine.
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  You're you're OK with the behaviors, right?
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  Are you not? That's the mind of a lot of
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  narcissists and toxic people right there.
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  Y'all they just feel like you're OK You've been, you've been
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  dealing with it this long. What's the problem now?
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  What's the issue right now? You know what's the issue right
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  now? Gotta get your minds right.
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  We have to get our minds right. We have.
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  We have to work. Like I said, this is the the
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  space we have to work together in.
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  Well, you have to work, you know, together with yourself and
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  with your team. Which everybody.
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  My mind went blank right there. Anyways, y'all thank y'all to
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  tune into another episode. I'm truly grateful that you're
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  here. I'm sorry for everything.
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  I'm out. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 11:16
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 11:18
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 11:20
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• 11:23
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• 11:25
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
• 11:28
  out. Thank you.
• 11:29
  I will see you in the next video.
• 11:31
  Peace.