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Transformative Small Changes for Personal Growth with Ell Graniel · The One Small Change Podcast

0:00
Welcome to this one small change. I am thrilled as
0:03
always that you are joining me for this journey of exploration and
0:07
transformation. I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring
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almost thirty years of entrepreneurial experience and a
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passion for growing your business through the power of what seems like
0:18
seemingly small change. And as always, I have a fabulous
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guest this week, and you are gonna wanna hear what she says.
0:26
Today, my guest is Ell Grenell,
0:29
and she's gonna be sharing with you how some smaller
0:33
unexpected decision or change sparked a
0:37
remarkable transformation and growth in either her personal
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her personal and her professional life. Elle, thank you for
0:44
joining me. Thank you. I'm thrilled to be here
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sharing this with you as well. So yay. So
0:52
tell us about the small change. And and, you
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you know, now that you know, Because it usually becomes so
0:59
much bigger, it doesn't seem like a small change anymore.
1:06
Yeah. When you, you know and when you become what I call
1:10
vintage in life, there are a lot of those small
1:14
changes, right, that make us the mosaic that we are, you
1:17
know, this beautiful, like, piece of art. And so I was
1:21
thinking back to kind of the first time I really realized
1:24
that I had a shift because, you know, I was born into
1:28
poverty, grew up in a trailer park, suffered all of the abuses,
1:32
you know, most of the abuses, and consider myself not a
1:35
survivor, but a graduate. And then
1:39
in my twenties, I started getting into self help, right,
1:43
motivational stuff. And there was a program called Nightingale Konap where
1:47
once a month, you would get a cassette series in the mail. So this is,
1:51
like, back in the nineties. And I was listening
1:54
to those, and it was, you know, it was, just so many people. It was
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Les Brown and Wayne Dyer, you know, and all of these kind of, you
2:02
know, folks back then. Zig Ziglar was one of my favorites. One
2:06
day, I was sitting in the living room doing my version. I have a lot
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of ways to meditate, and one of them is
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I stare at a blank wall, and I just kinda just start to get quiet.
2:16
And that's never intentional. It just happens. But one day, that was I was in
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that white wall space, and it
2:23
occurred to me that I'm in charge.
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And I was in my late twenties maybe, and I was like, what does that
2:31
mean? I'm in charge because it was really loud. You know? It was, like,
2:35
confident and proud. And I and it was
2:38
like a light bulb came on. It's it
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wasn't, you know, my upbringing. It wasn't the poverty. It
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wasn't that I'm a, you know, Latina female. It wasn't you know what I
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mean? But I'm from the trailer park. It wasn't all of those
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things that that are an easy blame.
2:57
An easy blame for why you're not living your life on purpose, why you're not
3:00
connecting and getting out there, right, and shining. And that was the
3:04
beginning of me figuring out my career,
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and it just was like, oh, you know, instead of a downward spiral, it
3:12
was an really upward spiral. So the one small change
3:15
was realizing that I'm in charge. I make
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the decisions. They're my thoughts. They're my actions.
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Claim them and make them mine. It it's funny that you say
3:27
that because I had a a similar experience, and and I can
3:30
see it. I was riding in the car. I was on the highway. I
3:34
was playing a cassette player, and it's
3:38
Brian Tracy. And he basically said
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this is paraphrasing because it was decades ago, but he basically said,
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you're an adult. Get over. Get over your parents. Get I I was
3:50
like, he's right. I'm married. I have two
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kids. I have a husband. I have a career. I have and I'm
3:57
still, like, obsessing about the stuff that happened when I was a kid.
4:02
And so yeah. I mean, the shift Mhmm. I mean, it's a
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sentence, really, but the
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impact is almost like a wedge because it
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opens up so much more. Absolutely.
4:17
Yeah. And that's that's just been continuing for me to
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look at how to keep getting over myself. Because as we go
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through different phases in life and situations, we do acquire
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biases with the people we hang around and the state we live
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in and, you know, all all of that kind of stuff. And so to
4:36
catch yourself on being, biased. Right? Because
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we're all judgmental by nature. That's what keeps us alive. Right? We've gotta judge things
4:43
quickly. But it's a matter of if you're staying stuck and you're not
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allowing yourself to learn more Mhmm. Is where the trouble
4:51
begins in my opinion. Well, I think I think continuous
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learning I mean, here's here's what I say to people. Your life
4:58
is you're shooting at a moving target. If you're not
5:02
changing and growing, you're stagnating and falling behind just
5:05
just by the the fact that you're not doing every anything and the world
5:09
is changing. And so, you know, I don't
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know that people are really clear about what you do, and I've had the experience
5:17
of experiencing that. So I want you to talk a little bit about that,
5:21
and, and I can tell you what has happened since last we
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spoke. Okay. That's exciting.
5:29
So thank you. That's, like, that's a super perk.
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So many years ago, once I got into this, you know, kinda self improvement type
5:37
thing, I met a woman named doctor Libby Adams
5:41
who had the International Academy of Self Knowledge, where the
5:44
subject is you. And I'm like, this is perfect. This is what, you know, what
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I've been looking for. And that was back in, you know, like,
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'95 or something like that. And I I just
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started taking the courses. I got trained in NLP, negotiation, just all
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kinds of things, all the personality type predictors, the Enneagram and
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Myers Briggs. And I just became fascinated by the
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brain and how the brain processes and stores and repurposes
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information and how we're hardwired,
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most of us, a certain way, but yet we're all we're we're
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wired differently through experiences. So meshing that together, the
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neuroscience of that is how can you,
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take your superpower, your innate wiring, and and
6:30
and and put that more to work for you because it's easy. Right?
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And then how can we shift those things like what happened when we were five
6:37
and seven and that that they're they're still trying to play
6:41
the game. You know? It's like we're stuck playing chutes and ladders,
6:45
and here we are, you know, in our thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, sliding back down
6:48
the ladder again because we haven't learned to evolve. And so
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then I got trained in transformational meditation, which is what you and
6:56
I did. And so I help people in the neuroplasticity
7:00
to rewire, pull up those memories, set them straight. Most
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of them don't even know it's 2025. That's the part that's really fun. It's like,
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ask that part what year it is, and they'll say some decade old year. You
7:11
know? It's like, oh, well, guess what? And so it's really fun. And then once
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you get those systems and those thoughts and those fears,
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doubts, and worries out of the way, then you can create a new
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right highway, a new pathway. And then you've got to
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live it. So it's not enough to know it. It's not enough to clear
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the path. Right? You've gotta drive that way, see what else is there
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now because now you're going a different way, and there's all these opportunities
7:38
that weren't there before because you were stuck in those old patterns. So
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I love this work. I've been doing it twenty seven years, and
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it changes lives. Everything from helping people get over infidel
7:50
infidelity. People. That too,
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actually, now that I think I did maybe. I did have one of
7:57
those get a better SAT scores, you know,
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just lose weight, gain weight. You know? Just so
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many things because we're stuck in the in the thought
8:08
that it's not possible for us even though we can see other
8:12
people. It's like, oh, but I can't because so we
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get those I can'ts out of the way and put in the possibilities,
8:21
what the what ifs in a good way. So, yeah, I can go on
8:24
forever. So I'm gonna let you tell your story now. I love it. So
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what what I wanna tell everybody is I am not woo
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woo by nature. As as one spiritual healer said to me, you're
8:36
really very linear. But I like I like
8:39
processes. I like you know, because I had an unsettling
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upbringing. And so I defaulted
8:47
to what is the objective solution as opposed to what is the
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emotional. You know. So that's why I gravitated towards math because one
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and one was always two, you know. I could get the answer
8:58
right. Yeah. So I tell you that that but I do
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believe that there is forces outside of ourselves in a
9:05
higher power, that bring us together in in ways
9:09
there are things that we don't see that are there. I mean, I you know,
9:12
we don't see gravity, but it's there. And so you kinda have to
9:16
believe there's more than what you can see. So
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I think the first thing I would say is, you know, as I thought about
9:24
this interview, I thought about it was interesting to
9:27
me that several things happened
9:31
prior to us working together. One
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of them, which was this new thing that I
9:38
found that you're you don't need to be fixed. You just need to be
9:42
found. And also the feeling of
9:47
really kind of stepping into or wanting to step
9:50
in my wanting to be found. Right?
9:54
So when we did the work together, I came away
9:59
with the feeling that I was on the right track and
10:03
everything was okay. Nothing
10:07
no fireworks, no bells or whistles kinda thing.
10:12
But as I was thinking about this and thought about
10:16
the meetings that I had after that
10:20
and the meeting things that have happened in in less than a
10:24
week, I found myself
10:30
coming forward in a in in a much stronger way, a
10:33
much more you know? It's like, okay.
10:37
Because I think I have to tell you, I think I'm really a very
10:41
strong woman. I think that I have an
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innate I mean, it it has showed up in really weird ways where I'll
10:48
be someplace and find that a lot of people have
10:52
gravitated towards me. Do you know? And
10:55
people start, like, what are you doing that I'll be do you know? And I
10:59
have never it's not that I'm so you know? Hey, everybody. I wanna you know?
11:02
Do you know? It's it people, I think, are pulled towards me.
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So but I have, in my
11:10
own preservation, kind of, always been at the back.
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I've always you know, it's like, I don't wanna overpower people. I don't
11:18
wanna whatever. So it was been very interesting to me
11:23
that in the last few days, I've really
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felt not consciously, but if I look back on the
11:30
meetings, I have really stepped into my take charge
11:34
ness. Do you know? It's like, okay, guys. Enough
11:38
of that. We're gonna do this, or I'm really good at this. Or, you know,
11:41
in my connection calls, I've really been
11:45
saying, this is what I do, and I'm good at doing it. It's I've
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said it before, but I don't think I've said it with such energy. And the
11:52
other thing that happened that to me is just like
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is I've had two people refer people to me
12:02
that are like amazing opportunities. And instead of, you
12:06
know, going you know, it's like, this is great. I'm ready for
12:09
this. Let's go. Do you know? So Yes. You know, I think
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it's I think it was the perfect timing for me to meet
12:17
you plus the work that you did to help me
12:20
to get there. Yay. Yeah. I
12:24
I feel real I I don't I can't explain it except that
12:28
it is it is a a
12:32
a bump up in confidence and energies. Is probably the way that
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I would say it. Again, no bells and whistles, but just this kind
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of calmness. I'm ready. I can do this. I'm good at what I
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do. You know? This I feel like
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the self doubt has really diminished. I mean, I think
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we all have self doubt to some level, and then when you step into something
12:54
new, I think that's normal. But I have to
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say, I I feel a change.
13:02
That is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. Couple of
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things. Number one, I was also drawn to you, like how you say people
13:10
are just drawn to you. And, you know, our paths
13:13
came together because we we spoke at the Pathways to
13:17
Paydays Summit. And so I got, like, little bits of
13:21
you, and I was like, no. That's not enough. Yvonne's not
13:25
a bite sized kind of person. No. I'm
13:28
not. I'm a meal. You are a meal.
13:32
So we had to get together and do that. And, you know, when you're when
13:36
you're saying it was like nothing super grand, I think what I was getting this
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image of in my head is, like, have you ever been standing in the shade
13:43
waiting, you know, for your Uber or whatever? And it's, you know, it's
13:46
kinda cold, and you realize, oh, if I just step over into the
13:50
sun so there's the sun right here, and
13:54
here we are in the shade, and and it's that easy
13:58
sometimes Mhmm. Mhmm. To go, oh, you know, so many things
14:02
are right in front of our eyes, and we're we're just so
14:06
stuck in the way that we think that this is where you stand when you're
14:10
waiting that we don't realize that's according to who.
14:14
Yeah. According to whom. And and the thing
14:17
that I would say, like, in my business, one of the things that I talk
14:21
to people, what are you leaving on the table? When you change your
14:24
focus and you start to see what uniqueness you bring,
14:28
there are opportunities that have been there the whole time that
14:32
you didn't think were worthwhile or that you could
14:36
do. I mean, it's not that, you know, I'm coming up with totally
14:39
new things. It's the things that were already there, but because of your lens
14:43
or the angle you were looking at it, didn't make sense to you or
14:47
didn't seem like it was something that you could do. So I I think
14:51
that, you know, again, I think
14:54
that these subtle shifts I mean,
14:58
they're not subtle in a way. They're really earthquakes, but, you know, but
15:02
they start out with the rumble, grow it you know, it's a rumble that grows
15:06
into an earthquake. The result of it is earthquake worthy
15:10
and and and big enough because it builds on each other. You you know, you
15:13
meet something, you're more confident that person will refer you to somebody else or you
15:17
help a client and you can help them be more confident and grow in a
15:20
bigger way. And so, like I said, it would just
15:24
you know, as I sat and thought about this this morning, I'm like, oh my
15:28
god. I have had a great week. I have had all these successes. You
15:31
know? And part of the success is that I
15:35
think that I was willing to acknowledge that, like you said at the
15:39
beginning, that I had some responsibility for it. If somebody
15:43
had some success, it was because they had been with me.
15:46
And, you know, that's always my goal is that people are better off for
15:50
having met me than if they hadn't met me.
15:54
Mhmm. So so before we get carried away, because this
15:58
is a wonderful thing Yeah. Thank you. Tell
16:02
us about your gift. Okay. I'd love
16:06
to. So one of the the ways to
16:09
introduce people to what I do is I like for them to understand the whole
16:13
cognitive side of how we think and how we feel and what we do.
16:17
Right? I don't just dive into the, you know, the neuroplasticity of it all.
16:21
We gotta start with who do you think you are and why.
16:25
So I have a it's called the success mindset scorecard.
16:29
And what you do is you evaluate yourself on a sliding
16:32
scale, and it's best done if you rapid fire
16:36
answer those questions because you know how you can go. Well, it depends if I'm
16:39
cold or hungry. You know what I mean? It's like, no. Just boom, boom, boom,
16:42
answer those questions. And then they're they're they're you'll see they're
16:46
grouped into, you know, like relationships,
16:50
work, you know, personal, spiritual kind of stuff. And
16:54
then you immediately will get your score,
16:57
and it and it gives you an excuse me. It gives you an
17:01
idea where your strengths are and where
17:04
you need some support. And so either way, you meet
17:08
with me, we go over it, and we either get you off and
17:12
running because you're like, You know, there's ahas
17:15
in there, and you're like, I got it. You know? Or it's like, I want
17:19
you to stay with me, Elle, and hold my hand. This is new. I want
17:22
it, but I want, you know, you to be there with me. So it
17:26
it can go either way. However, no matter what, when you
17:30
do that personal assessment, you go, and I
17:33
feel like I'm one of the few people in the in if you say in
17:37
the coaching realm, I'm a firm believer. Let's do
17:41
more of what you're good at. Don't spend time trying
17:45
to make you better in those areas where you're not, you know,
17:48
innately. Because if you don't enjoy it, what's what's the point?
17:52
Because you can hire somebody to do those types of
17:55
things. You know, you can collaborate. You can so many things. So
17:59
let's polish your real your brilliance, and that's what the
18:02
scorecard's all about. Like, let's find where you shine and go from there. And,
18:06
you know, that's that's exactly what you know, you don't need to be fixed. You
18:10
need to be found. And and I often say to people, you know,
18:13
if you're doing if you're doing the filing, you know, that's like
18:17
hiring an MBA to to do your filing for you. When you could hire
18:20
somebody filing, you can stay in your creative thing
18:24
that you do. And so the
18:28
other piece that I the other reason I think this is so important, the other
18:31
reason that that I I wanted to bring you to my community
18:35
is, as entrepreneurs, we're good
18:39
at what we're good at. And so we are good at
18:42
managing projects, you know, and, you know, what
18:46
we do. But the first step before that
18:50
really is knowing about yourself, managing, and leading
18:53
yourself. And that's why so many programs start with a mindset
18:57
or, you know, getting clear about what you're good at.
19:01
And that's the part that so many entrepreneurs skip. And I
19:05
think when you do that, you take the time
19:08
to do that, it will skyrocket your business. It will be a jump
19:12
start because it will take care of all the all the hidden anchors that
19:16
you're dragging along with you so that you're free to take
19:20
off. So, you know, I I
19:23
hope everybody will take advantage of this incredibly
19:27
generous gift and the this wonderful experience. So
19:31
alright. So here's your trick trick question. When was the last
19:35
time you did something new for the first time?
19:41
So what's funny about that is there's a caveat. So I do
19:45
a lot of new things, but here's the catch. Only after
19:48
I've watched a lot of other people do them first,
19:53
I'm not the first one. That's right. I neither am I.
19:57
Neither am I. And so,
20:01
however, extremely recently, I'm taking on singing
20:04
lessons, and that's something that I've wanted
20:08
to do my whole life. I've kinda dabbled in it a little bit,
20:12
and, I'm I'm competitive by nature. You wouldn't know that
20:16
I'm a closet competitor. But I would see other people
20:19
do well with scales, you know, and the things that get you going in your
20:23
singing lessons. And I just wasn't progressing, so I'm like, forget
20:26
it. But now I'm willing to put in the work. It's
20:30
like, if you want this, this is how you get there. And I found
20:34
a teacher that works with your personality,
20:38
not just your tonality, and I really loved that.
20:42
So I'm taking singing lessons. So so
20:45
when when when the student is ready, the teacher will come?
20:49
Yeah. That's exactly what happened. Yeah. And and I
20:53
feel like that that's what that's how I ran into you. We have so many
20:56
similarities because I'm not I'm not, what what did they
21:00
call that? A market leader. You know, you buy the first thing. I'm I kinda
21:03
wait. I'm a tail end kind of person. I wanna see how it goes and
21:07
and that kind of stuff. So, I'm I'm with you
21:10
there. Alright. So Yeah.
21:14
I I can't believe the time has gone so fast.
21:18
Again, I just want I I guess there's three points
21:22
that I want you to take away or, Al, three
21:26
points that you know, one is you
21:30
have innate abilities, and so you don't need to be fixed. You can
21:33
collaborate and find other people to work with it.
21:36
Two, when you can identify what your
21:40
strengths are, that can help you put together a
21:44
mosaic much better, and that's what your gift is gonna do. And you know what
21:47
popped into my mind? There's I don't know the name of it, but there's this
21:50
Japanese art where you you put something back
21:54
together and, you know, you celebrate it for its imperfections
21:58
and it's whatever. I should find that because I like that
22:01
analogy. And three,
22:05
you're always evolving, I think. And the more you
22:09
evolve, the better you get and the more you
22:12
can, you know, be set free to be yourself because you realize the
22:16
world needs you the way you are, not the way somebody thinks
22:20
you should be, I guess, is what I would is what I would say.
22:23
And I I don't know if I missed anything or
22:27
in summing that up. Yeah. What the what you are
22:31
versus what people think you should be is stellar
22:34
advice, but you've gotta know who you are.
22:38
Some people don't know how to pull the blanket or you know what I mean?
22:41
Get that's that's the true journey
22:45
is who am I. And then as you evolve, you will
22:48
continue to say who am I? Who am I? Who am I? And I love
22:52
the power of I am, so be mindful whenever you say I am,
22:55
whatever follows that is your truth. Yes. So stop saying I'm
22:59
lazy or I'm unorganized or whatever those negative words. Just
23:03
stop. You don't have to lie to yourself that doesn't work. You can't say I'm
23:07
organized. Your brain's gonna go, who are you talking about? But you can just
23:10
stop saying the negative thing and focus more on
23:14
I am fun. I am vibrant. You know? I'm a great
23:18
writer. You know? All those that define
23:21
you, the power of your I am statements. It it
23:25
can be scary to be yourself, but it is so
23:28
rewarding when you realize that you
23:32
the people that you draw to you value you for who you are.
23:36
Yeah. Absolutely. Alright. I need to wind this up.
23:40
Okay. We're having too much fun. But Too much fun. As
23:44
always, as a first step, make sure that you download this
23:47
gift because it is a generous one. Not only is it a generous tool, but
23:51
a generous gift of time and expertise.
23:55
And I also wanna make sure that you subscribe and share,
23:59
this podcast with other people. And, you know, one of the reasons that
24:03
I do this is to to help the community and give you new
24:06
insights and new information so that, you can
24:10
fuel your growth, you know, and and impact in the world. And so
24:14
I hope that you will continue to join me with for the One Small Change
24:18
as we embark on this journey, and you get to see how
24:21
seemingly small changes can have a monumental transformation.
24:26
And if you haven't listened to the first episode where I started, you should
24:29
do so because, one, you'll see how diff how much better I am
24:33
now, but but you'll also see what the premise of the show
24:37
is and see some other people that you may not have seen yet. So,
24:41
Elle, do you have any last words of wisdom for people to take
24:45
away with them? I think the wisdom comes from the other
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side of the work that I do. Slow down and take a breath. We don't
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have enough oxygen in our body to function, so we're in, you
24:56
know, survival mode. Slow down sometimes. Breathe before
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you respond. Right? Just take those
25:03
bigger, longer, slower, deeper, more meaningful breaths and
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watch how easily things can shift. So there
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really is a scientific reason to stop and take a breath?
25:14
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You get more oxygen in the brain. You
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can get to the alpha level of consciousness where the ego's not running the show
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anytime you want. It's free. I have a model that
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says stop. Do you know? Before you do anything else,
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stop and ask yourself what's going
25:32
right because it take it it turns you around from going to the the
25:36
negative. So maybe now I should say stop, take a
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breath, and think about what's going right so they can be even better.
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Alright, guys. Our time is
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up. But as always, I want you to remember that change is simple,
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but it's not always easy. It takes courage,
25:55
resilience, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. And
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so I hope that you will take this, you know, bit of information
26:02
and and use it to do that. And I hope you will continue to
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join me on the one small change podcast as we embark on
26:10
this on this journey, so that you see what other
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innovative possibilities are out there. Until the next time,
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stay curious. Elle, thank you so much for coming
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and for your great wisdom.