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One Year Anniversary!! ... And The Advice I’ve Stopped Listening To · The Naked Room

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't a one-size-fits-all world, folks.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Following someone else's path implicitly does not work.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Clip your fucking wings, babe.
• 0:10
  [music]
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, roomies.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I hope everyone is doing well out there.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always sending you love and good vibes and all the things.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is a really special moment for me,
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: personally, because this week marks one year of The Naked Room.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to reflect on how much of an accomplishment this really is.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: If we're looking at the stats...
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: About 90 to 95% of podcasts drop off before episode 20.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: This is a full episode, number 48.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: We've had a few bonus episodes, but 48 episodes and a little sprinkling on top of it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: But 28 episodes more than when most people drop off.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then by the emotions, I have been feeling...
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Too many instances.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: There have been too many instances to count where instead of focusing
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: on putting one foot in front of the other and enjoying the ride,
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: I am guilty of thinking 10,001 steps ahead and only focusing on the big goals.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a really good challenge for me personally to just keep going and trust
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: that the path is going to keep unfolding as I move forward.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: I've never done that very well.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: I've asked the universe for years to help me understand what it means to surrender,
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: and I know that doing this podcast has been one of my teachers.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: That bit in and of itself has paid in dividends.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go in with this anniversary episode,
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: so I just started writing to see what came out organically.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: I've always been a writer.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up writing poetry.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've won some awards for my concoctions.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was like a history nerd when I was in fourth grade.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: I loved the Civil War, so I was writing like historical fiction.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I always had this love for writing,
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: and so I've been incorporating that back in,
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: and I feel the best when I have something kind of ready to go and kind of sussed out
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: and like, anyway, that's what I'm doing right now.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I wrote this, and I'm going to read it to you now.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: One thing that's come up for me a lot throughout this past year
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: that hasn't fully let go of its grip on me, corporate culture.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's still deeply rooted in my psyche.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I've been out of that world for two and a half years,
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: my inner rebel is fired up while the rule follower ego side of me feels like I need
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: to color inside the lines.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I often have conversations with other women who have also left corporate recently.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: They all say the same thing.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's like salt in the wound and utter exhaustion when we get on the topic of
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: a particular subset of Of men who feel empowered
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: to keep spouting out this advice tirelessly.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you niche down.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you become known for that one thing.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like anyone who follows Gary Vaynerchuk,
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: who's also known as Gary V,
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: knows that he started his media career off only talking about one thing.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wine.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's since become a very successful investor and has grown a media empire.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: But it all started because he stuck to one topic.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Successful men doling out umbrella advice love to use Gary as the poster child
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: for why this guidance works.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Which is funny because Gary famously rejects this one-size-fits-all approach.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: You've probably heard this theme.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's essentially round hole yourself if you want to be successful.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: The underlying message is,
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: this is what worked for me,
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: and if you follow my one-size-fits-all advice, you'll be on your way too.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Clip your fucking wings, babe.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, if all you want to do is talk about California Pinot Noir or Sancerre,
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: then that's fucking great.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: We love a good wine conversation.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Invest all of your time into that.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: But for someone to say that we must follow the path that they did
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: because it's how they became successful, it gives me a visceral reaction.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that inner rebel part of me that I talked about?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: That lights her the fuck up.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because this isn't a one-size-fits-all world, folks.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And look at how rapidly things are changing every single day.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think something often happens when someone reaches a certain point of success.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: They seem to forget about the nuances,
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: the middle parts,
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: and all the experimentation required to even figure out what lights us up in
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: the first place.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like this form of amnesia.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: And this is exactly why I'm documenting all of it on my journey.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to forget when I'm on the other side.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to make sure that I remember the moments when I wanted to give up.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: When I felt like I'd failed.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: When it felt like all was lost.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because when something does hit,
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to continue to be vulnerable and not just give you all data points
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: and graham cracker advice.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm going to try to not give you advice at all.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: But anecdotes, those can stay.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: My wish here is for you all to take whatever you will from what I say.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: If something I've shared with you resonates so much that it provides guidance,
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Then that's a bonus.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: But sure as shit,
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never going to come here and tell you that you must follow my advice or else.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because I'm constantly learning from my own experiences
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: that I know doling out advice is like trying to hit a moving target.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like my own personal example with this show.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Even though my mission has stayed pretty much unchanged, how I'm approaching it has shifted.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I find it necessary to keep challenging myself in new ways.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a creative, and I'm alone a lot, so feeling stifled happens on the regular.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love having this platform be a safe space for women to come on and tell their stories.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and I think, how can I expand on that even more?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to lead more from my heart and from my curiosity in this chapter.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like...
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: The other night, I was listening to Dark Side of the Moon.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I got this idea.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was listening specifically to the song Great Gig in the Sky.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I realized that even though I've heard it so many times, I never looked up who the vocalist is.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: The solo is considered one of the best vocal performances ever recorded.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: It literally makes the song.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I looked her up.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: And uncovered a bit of trivia that I'm glad I learned.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to tell it to you now.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: The soloist's name is Claire Torrey.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: It was January 1973 when they recorded the song at Abbey Road Studios in London.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: The direction she got was to feel it and to treat her voice like an instrument.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: All of it was completely improvised,
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: and she did only two or three takes to create this masterpiece.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the part that stopped me.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: She got paid only 30 pounds, 30 pounds for her work.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: I looked it up.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's about, it said it was like $450 now or 450 pounds now.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: But for her day of work, like, you know, 450 pounds for a day of work, not bad.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: But when you're creating this masterpiece of music
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: where you basically make
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: the song, You probably deserve a little bit more than just your day rate, right?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: I can hear all my musician friends out there being like, yes, absolutely.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: She got paid only 30 pounds for her work and received no co-writing credit,
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: meaning that no matter how much money Pink Floyd made on the song,
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Claire would never, ever see another dime for her contribution.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: But in 2004, she took Pink Floyd to court.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she won.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Since then,
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: she has shared co-authorship credit with Richard Wright,
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Pink Floyd's keyboardist who has since died.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: He died back in 2008.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Some accounts say her net worth is now around $5 million.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: It took her three decades to finally get what she deserved for her contribution to
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: the song, but we'll take the win for all womankind.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Standing up for ourselves and for our work and for the things that we believe in.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so after learning this,
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I thought,
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: how many other stories of women paving the way and standing up
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: for themselves are out there that I and a lot of other people might not know about
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: yet?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I truly get joy out of learning these pieces of trivia and telling these women's stories.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's when we're existing in joy that we create the most compelling work.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is why following someone else's path implicitly does not work.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: It might for a moment— You might be okay, but it'll eventually catch up to us.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: We might go on thinking,
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: we're fine for a while,
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: but eventually the curiosity about what makes us tick will creep in.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And the only way to find out what makes us tick is to be curious.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we do that by investigating what's calling to us.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I've said this so many times before,
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: but if you're having that pull to look into something or you keep getting these cues
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: or little signs from the universe telling you something that's like pulling you,
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: it's probably best to investigate it because that could be something connected
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: to your bigger purpose.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm going to leave you with a quote from a book that my friend Nikki gave me
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: for my 40th birthday.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: The Pivot Year by Brianna Weist.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is the final entry.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: It has 365 entries.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally one entry for each day of the year.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Unless there's a leap year.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: We don't get the extra day.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: But that's okay.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I thought this was really fitting.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: This is the final entry.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Day 365,
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: and it feels very fitting to celebrate this year anniversary
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: with this last little bit.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And to celebrate you living your aligned life based on what lights you up.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you choose a life that inspires you.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not spend all of your days just idly imagining I
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: hope you won't get dissuaded
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: when you discover that the smallest steps can feel like the biggest leaps
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: when your heart is afraid.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you will dig the most beautiful parts of yourself out from beneath that fear.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you won't abandon yourself.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you all for being here with me for this last year.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: To the new listeners,
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: And the ones who started from day one.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: All of you all are important.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: All of you all are special.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I am so excited to see what the next year brings and
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: what magic is around.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'll catch you back here next week.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: There is a very special, I say special a lot, but everything's special, you know?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's a very cool new thing that my friend Nina and I are trying.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing a full moon episode.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to come out next Sunday.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's going to be helpful for a lot of you.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of guidance based on what the full moon is telling us.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening, share it with someone.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then we have more people.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Share it.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, subscribe, share.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Give us a five-star review everywhere.
• 14:29
  [music]