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Lisa Sun: Superpower Synergy- Embracing Your Bold Confidence · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge Podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Lee Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or douse along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Today I have Lisa Sun.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: She is the founder and CEO of Gravitas and also the national bestseller of her new book called Gravitas.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me, Lee.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited to jump into boldness and all the things that actually goes along with Gravitas and confidence.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: We'll start off with just really asking you what is your definition of bold specifically?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, one of the things that I love about the word bold is it means that you have the courage to do the things that you really want in life.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: In my book, I talk about courage.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: My formula for courage is self-belief that leads us to take action, and then evaluating the results of those actions from a place of strength, to learn not to regret, to convince ourselves to do it all over again.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: And so when I think about the word bold, when you are emboldened to do something, it means you're truly courageous, and I think it starts first with believing that you can do it.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: And so much of what I write about and talk about and imbue our company with is this idea of you have to see yourself first, you have to believe in yourself first, if you want to take that step, to do something really bold in life.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, beliefs are the basis, I believe, of what everything grows from.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: So if you want to succeed, or you want to actually try something new, or you want to do something that maybe you're scared of or it's just you know feels you feel very fearful of, your beliefs are going to help you or they're going to harm you.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: That's how I look at beliefs.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So obviously there's ones out there that you know fear in itself is meant to protect you, right?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So sometimes we kind of get stopped in our tracks with that, with regard to when we're being bold.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: But it's kind of being able to step forward and take that right, left, right left, into the next parts of your life or the next thing you want to explore, or maybe just something you want to consider, Because I think I'll be interested to hear your thoughts about gravitas.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: And it's quiet or it's loud, because I think boldness can be very, very quiet.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be on social media, it doesn't have to be on the front page or anything.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: You could be very bold and no one even know it but you, and that's the most important person to know honestly.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, and I love that.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: What we do share the value around is mindset drives behavior, and so much of what I talk about and write about is gravitas, is a mindset and a choice before it becomes a behavior.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: 90% of the work is really mindset.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Only 10% is what others can see, and so how you evaluate and value yourself first is the most important step in terms of being bold and taking action in your life.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, excellent.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: So when was the first time, based on your definition, that you remember or a memorable moment of boldness for you?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Well, I believe we're all born fully self-confident.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: If anyone has ever been around a five year old, five year olds are really bold.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: If you ask a five year old what they're the best out in the world, they'll tell you I'm the best soccer.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'm the best at hugs.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'm the best everything.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: We have an experienced setback disappointment.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: We don't see our flaws, we only see our potential and our strengths.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: And so I do an exercise and I know you can see me on screen but for your listeners, everyone on our team has a photo of themselves as a child or as a time they were really powerful, if they have a traumatic childhood and I think that inner child is the first time you were bold.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: So I always say it's not.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: What advice would you give your nine year old self?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I would actually take advice from my nine year old self because when I was nine years old I was going to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, president of the United States.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I could still be one of those, and so I think about being bold as being a young child and, frankly, working in my parents' Mongolian barbecue all you can eat for 95 at lunch, 12, 95 at dinner and running the cash register and just having to help my parents with their company and their business.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: So I always say the first time I was bold was when I was a child.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I thought everything was possible, there was nothing cut off in terms of my option sets and if we can all just go back to that inner child, what wouldn't be possible in our lives?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you make a really good point because I've talked about that with boldness as well.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: When I was younger, no one could stop me, like you know, I was on boys soccer leagues and things like that, because then girls weren't playing sports and so my mom signed me up for soccer and they were like, oh, maybe you should be more careful.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And you know, girls don't play soccer, that kind of stuff and I remember that I was in second grade.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I remember that as a really bold moment in my life, but it was us, just being us, and then kind of, as you go through your life 20, still really bold, probably sometimes too bold, you know, thinking people wanted to hear my opinion, those sort of things.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: And then something happened in the 40s where I just started to kind of wanted to, you know, fit in, wanted to not make too much fuss but still be me, but it was really hard in the corporate world and they just got actually extremely tiring and exhausting and I think that led to my burnout, which happened in 48 when I started my business, which is now it's flipped the other way, where I'm like I can be me.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm around people who want to be around someone like me or you know, I don't have to feel like I have to be different, but something happens in the middle.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: You know at least for me that's what happened and for others it could happen earlier.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: But I think you make a really, really good point that we're possibly we're boring confident.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: We have confidence, but you know we have boldness within us as well, and you know they're, they're partners.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I think confidence and courage and boldness are cousins.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: There's not one without the other, there's not one with the other, and that's actually in chapter two of my book.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: What I get into is there are six forces that hold us back from the confidence we started with, and these six forces, especially in places like corporate America, for men those forces start to be alleviated, and for women they get exacerbated.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: They actually get amplified, and so I'm not surprised by your story of I was so bold in my younger years.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: And then these six forces which I write about form the basis of an inner critic that as we experience setback, disappointment, systemic bias, they just get amplified, so much so that we have to make a choice to break out of them.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: One fun fact is we did a thousand person quantitative study on confidence in America, along with 32 focus groups.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: I do want to blow your mind for a moment.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Women over the age of 55 were the most powerful in our data set, and it's because they have the most number of superpowers.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: They have time, talent and treasure, and they've learned to make this choice.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: They've learned that they can't let other people define who they are, and we've become such an age of society.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I am in my forties as well, and I started my business much later in life.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy I did because I started it with so many more resources than I would have if I'd done it in my twenties.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: But this is all I think, what I love and we can get into these six forces.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: But until you can understand which of these six forces are impacting you, you can't solve the problem.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: You got to really diagnose what it is that you're going through for you to jump to the other side, to make a choice to self confidence and therefore be bold.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: So let's start there.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So, as you kind of came out, obviously the nine year old that was ready to be anything, she wanted to be going through high school and college.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: How did your gravitas build, or did it become something different than what it is today?
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Well, let's step back and say I think we as a society have mislabeled what gravitas is and I think for hundreds of years we've let essentially men define what it is.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: And when I say confidence or gravitas, you immediately think assertive, be outspoken, be extroverted, stand on a stage.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: If you look up the word confident in the dictionary, it has nothing to do with that.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: It has nothing to do with performance, bravado or swagger.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: It's an understanding of, appreciation of and trust in your own abilities Something, by the way, my nine-year-old could do, my nine-year-old self could do.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: But because of the six forces that work on us, I'll give you a few of them as an example.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: One of them is called deficit mindset, where you see your weaknesses over your potential, or you see what's missing over your strengths.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: The best example is when you look in the mirror.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Do you look for your beautiful eyes or the new wrinkle that's developed?
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I think as a young child you didn't know what the word chubby was, you didn't know what body image was and I think, as a result, you start to develop a deficit mindset.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Another one is called the shrinking effect, where you shortchange yourself, you underestimate yourself versus others.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: This is why women say sorry even when they're not sorry, because they think they're obviously in the wrong.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: It's one of the top three things women do in our dataset is comfort others, get things done and admit when they're wrong out of 30 things that we tested.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: It's also why women will only apply for a job if they're 100% qualified, but men will apply if they're only 60% qualified.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: They're like men are like that's good enough.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: They're like no, no, no, I'm shortchanging.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: I'm going to shortchange myself and talk myself out of the opportunity.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Another one is superhero facade, where you pretend that everything in your life is perfect.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Well, if everything's perfect, then you don't invite anyone to have fingerprints on the journey.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Shonda Rhyme said whenever I'm succeeding in one part of my life, you know I'm failing in another.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: The most confident.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: People are pretty honest about the inventory of what's going on in their lives.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Satisfaction conundrum, where we tire happiness or self-worth to an external marker of success.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I'll be happy when I lose 10 pounds, I'll be happy when I get that promotion, when we tie our self-worth to an external marker.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: If we don't get it, we beat ourselves up and if we do, we just chase the next one.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, I think I could lose another five pounds.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying not to be ambitious, but know yourself and value yourself.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Outside of that validation, those are just smattering.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Those are four of the six forces that work against us and I think it's really important, when we experience upset disappointment, to say, okay, which of these six forces is affecting me?
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: What is really going on here?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: And then we can jump to how do we address it.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: The best example I'll give you our head designer, who just walked in right before we started recording.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: He came in one day and he said I'm really sad and I said, okay, which of these six forces?
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: He's like I'm not going to do your exercise, lisa.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I said no, no, which of these six forces?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And he pointed to satisfaction conundrum and I said well, what's going on?
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: It's, you know, it's not just when you ask a kid, you don't say are you sad.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: You say what's happening.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: And he said well, you know, I injured my shoulder this year and I had to step down as the captain of my volleyball team on in this big league in New York City and I just went on Instagram and I saw that that team won the gold medal.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not in the photo, I'm not a part of that moment, and I tied so much of my happiness this year to being the captain.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: And I said okay, can we step back and talk about all the abundance in your life?
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: And I said tell me everything that's going well in your life.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: What are you most proud of this year?
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: And he started to list off all the things and I said can we be happy for them?
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: He said you're right, I'm going to go and like that post, share it text.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: All those guys say congratulations.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I can be happy for them because I have a lot going on in my own life.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you for helping me at least understand why I was feeling so bad about this.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: And so that's just an example where you know to truly be self confident, to truly have gravitas.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: It's not about performing.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: It's not about faking it to make it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And so when you ask me in my 20s and 30s, I really think I was faking it.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I was deeply insecure.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I was overachieving.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I was tying myself worth to everyone else's metrics.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: By the way, I was at McKinsey and company for 11 years.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Guess what?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Less than 13% of the partnership was women.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Talk about an asymmetrical structure of power, right, but I beat myself up.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: So if I could go back in time in the DeLorean to my 22 year old self and give myself my own book, I would say look how valuable you are, look how many strengths you bring to the table.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Whether or not things go your way, you still carry value.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: So I think I started out very confident as a child and I think everything through my 20s and 30s those six forces were very real.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I underestimated myself.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I looked at other people's metrics for success.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I experienced systemic bias.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: One of them is setback spiral.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: When things didn't go well, I thought my whole life was off.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: And it really wasn't until my 40s, when I started the journey five years ago of writing this book, that I really started a piece of part that in my 20s and 30s.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Outwardly everyone thought I was confident Because I knew how to perform.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I knew how to pretend and speak up, but I was deeply insecure and very anxious throughout the entire process.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think one of the myths of being bold, actually, that I write about in my book is that you are always confident, that you're always at their highest levels of confidence and you're willing to go alone.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: And there's five particular myths that I talk about, but one of them is around confidence and taking from me.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: There are days where you're low, but I think what you realize as you get older and I'm 51, is like you're pivot-backed, like okay, we're in good shape, like what am I doing?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Like why am I thinking that way?
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: It's much faster than it was in my 40s, for sure.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: And now that I look back I go I wouldn't change anything.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Right, because that was part of the learning, but some of it was really tough, because I think where I had the most push or the most friction was when I was trying to be someone other than me in a system that expected me to be someone else.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: You know I needed a job, I needed to get paid, I needed to, like, use my degrees.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You know these were all the things going through my head.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I also had, I think, my parents in my years too.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like always have a stable job, always have insurance, have a retirement, you know, all these things that I kind of grew up with, I was like that's success, and I think I was really redefining success in my 40s.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: And then by the time I got to 48, I was like that's it, no more.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: And so I love how you describe your six forces, because I think everyone listening can relate to one, two, three or maybe all six of them at some point in their career.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Do you think one of the forces is stronger than the other?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Do they all hold the same weight, or it just it's and it depends on the person's experience.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: It depends on the person, and I actually asked people to say which of these six have you experienced, which are the two you experience the most often?
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I woke up with all six in my head this morning and I think you've said something really important.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Gravitas, for me, is not a state of being, it's a total approach to living life with self assurance.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Things don't get easier.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: We get stronger and I think the sooner that we realize that we're just getting stronger with every experience and if we can decode what's really going on, what's really driving our insecurity, and then we learn how to get the megaphone of our superpowers in our head to drown out the inner critic.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And it's really an approach because day to day, you're going to have a healthy amount of self doubt and it's really around.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: How strong are you in terms of coping with that self doubt and crossing over to the other side and being able to stand in your power?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: The best example that I have and I know we're going to dig into the eight superpowers we've identified is in March of 2020, I make women's workwear right.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I have a fashion company.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: And in March of 2020, when offices closed for an indefinite period of time, the sales of my company were not zero.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: They were negative.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: We have a 30 day return policy, so if you bought a $200 dress to go to an event or a conference or to the office, you sent it right back to us.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: We refunded more than we sold and when things like that happen, it's easy to trigger these six forces right.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Focus on what we don't have.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Focus on how everyone is going to see us on the outside.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: What I did is I focused on what we did have and I said team, what are our superpowers?
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: How strong are we in this moment?
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: What gas do we have in the tank?
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: We got to be a speedboat because everyone else is going to be an aircraft carrier, and for 72 days, we made hospital gowns and face masks, from April 3rd of 2020 to July 13th of 2020.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: We made face masks and hospital gowns to keep the lights on and to pivot our business with purpose and not with profit in mind.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: But that is a very different mindset than okay, we've refunded.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: The bank account is negative.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, we've got nothing left.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: What are we going to do?
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: And I think that is your point around.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: It's self-belief, it's mindset I could have made a different choice, but we chose to believe in what we did have.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And I think also in there is it's you didn't wallow and anything that was negative, like there was so much negative at that point in time, but it was like we're not even going to spend more than you know a minute thinking about that.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: We're going to actually figure out how to pivot.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: And again, that speed to pivot was extremely fast for you and your company.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: And your company is not only providing you know something for us out here with your wonderful apparel, but also, like you, provide for the families and the employees that you have for their livelihood, and so, like you have that responsibility as a founder, which is an added.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: It's a pressure in some form or way, but I think it's a good pressure.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: You know it's something that I'm happy I'm doing, that I'm creating a life and support others who do great work and can actually bring their skills and their gifts and their expertise to life for others.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Well, and I you know that.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: There are two other things that I will say from from the example we're going into.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: One is I did tell my team it's okay to grieve, and I and you know, while we're focused, I said it's okay to grieve because we had just done New York Fashion Week for the first time, right before the pandemic hit in September of 2019, and I said it's okay for us to grieve what we thought this year was going to look like.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: So, the moments that you feel sad, you need to tell us, you need to just share it like wow, I thought, you know, june of 2020 would look a lot different.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: I thought I'd be on vacation, I thought I'd be celebrated, you know, and I said it's okay to grieve, and I and we should share in that.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: We should also focus on what we still do have and the.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: The second thing, though, is I truly try my best to live what we write about.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: I wasn't a superhero in that moment.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I actually one of my superpowers is called performing.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I put on LinkedIn.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Dear LinkedIn community, the sales of my company are negative.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: If you have a company that needs a face mask or a hospital gown, will you DM me?
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I and people raise their hands.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: They message me I need 2000 face masks and I really love that.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: People will walk the talk of lifting up others.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: You did that, lee, right, we hadn't even met.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: You're like we're doing this event together in February.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I'd like to support your team.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I want to buy a books and I want to buy a pouch for everyone there.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: That is really putting your purchasing power against something that helps others, and that surprised me.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: I, you know, I was like I have nothing to lose.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: We've already lost everything this month.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I have nothing to lose, so don't be a superhero.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Tell people what you're doing and they will raise their hands, and that, I think, started to get people excited about.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, if this little company, this little fashion company, can do so much good, what else can I do?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: and we got so many messages about that as well yeah, one of the things you talk about is courage, compassion and connection and how they are such important ingredients in gravitas and kind of leading us towards the eight that we're going to talk about in in just a few.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: But tell me a little bit about courage, compassion and connection and how they work together to help us either feel or have more gravitas in our lives, you know and this is really the.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: The question that I asked myself when we were writing the book is like well, why do you want gravitas?
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, sure, there's things you want in life, there's things you want to accomplish, but what really are we moving towards?
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: And I said I call them the three C's courage, compassion and connection are really the outcomes of an approach to living life with self-assurance.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: This is what I want for you.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: This is why you're going on this journey with me.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Courage we've already talked about in terms of being able to take action and see the results from a place of strength.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Compassion is a really important one, and I divide that into self compassion and compassion for others.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: If you see yourself in the best light possible, first of all, you can give yourself self compassion, and I think we beat ourselves up.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: We are our own worst critics and when you go, you know what.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Here are my four or five strengths, or maybe I have all eight.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: I'm guessing, lee, you have close to all eight.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: There's two percent of our data set has all eight and you can say you know, this is what I bring to the table.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: No matter what happens, I'm going to give myself grace.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I beat myself up so much for our business collapsing during the pandemic and my best friend Jane said you know what?
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Can you give yourself some self-compassion about how much good you did during that first year?
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: And it's not your fault that women weren't going to the office right your category fell apart.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: That is why are you beating yourself up?
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: You literally threw your body on the problem and have compassion for others.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: So what I mean by that is we can start to see other people's superpowers, even when they're different than ours.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: So one of the things I really dislike is when you say to someone be more confident.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Well, that's anxiety inducing and that's ambiguous.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Confidence is through the lens of your own confidence language, your own superpowers.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: So what does that really mean?
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Half of my team has opposite superpowers to me and I see them.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I say you know what?
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: I can't get anything done on time.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Someone on my team you're high on achieving, you're high on giving.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: You're not the loudest voice in the room, but you get things done on time better than I would you start to see people differently and you have compassion for them, and that leads to having greater connections.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: When we connect with people based on their strengths and their values, that supersedes any demographic connections.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: My first boss at McKinsey, you know I grew up fairly poor in a desert Asian.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Only Asian family running my parents ran the local Chinese restaurant.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: My first boss and one of my favorite bosses at the firm.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: He grew up in the UK, wealthy, went to Oxford HBS.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: The first time we met he did not ask me where I went to school or where I was from.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: He said I can look that up in the HR system.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Tell me a childhood memory you're proud of.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I talked about working in my parents restaurant.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: He said I want to work with you, you have grit, you have perseverance.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: And it was such a deeper connection because we connected on that next level, below demography.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: And so I really think this whole approach to gravitas allows us to be courageous, to be self compassionate and compassionate for others and to be more connected yeah, I think sometimes and I had a conversation the other day it was it was about the aperture that we are putting on our life right, or our aperture we have on others.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So, like, is it really small?
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Are we actually looking at the bigger picture of things?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: So when we talk about those three very important elements, I think sometimes we may be shorting ourselves because our aperture isn't open wide enough, right in the sense of self compassion or compassion for others, or seeing others for who they are and what their gifts are, and not expecting everyone to have every single, you know, using your eight superpowers, every superpower for me, like I am highly creative but I am not detail oriented.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: That's why there's so many members of my team that help with certain aspects.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: But I will see something and I will be like we need to figure that out, but in the sense of like what my desk looks like and like what my other stuff does look like right now very, very different seat.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: But they accept me and I accept them and like together we make this incredible team.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: But we're not always taught it's okay to have a messy desk, you know, because me I know where everything is, but it's, it's good.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Stress some people out for sure.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: I have the bestest desk in the office.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I see you, lee.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I see you and I value you.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I am one of the things.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite anecdotes from my book is David Foster Wallace's commencement speech at Kenyon College and he says you know when we I love your phrase open the aperture?
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: He talks about when we see the water.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: But he gives an example where maybe you're in the grocery store line and there's a lot of people in front of you and the cashier is going really slow and you're upset at that person, you're like so angry, you're late, you're going to get stuck in traffic and he goes.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: But if you take a moment and you have compassion, you might say, wow, maybe she has a sick husband and she's been staying up late at night and that's why she's going so slow.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: She's just tired.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Or maybe she's worried about paying her mortgage.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Or you know, when you take a moment and you can say, wow, everyone's got these six forces going on in their head or everyone around me has got their own set of things, you make a different choice.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: You move out of a default position where you're the center of the universe not that I don't want you to value yourself, but you start to see someone and go okay, you know what that person's doing the best they can in this moment.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Let me just pause.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: My problems are not that hard right now.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I love that open the aperture, yeah that quick step back of like okay, what is important right now?
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: So let's jump into the eight superpowers.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: So I just want to read them out.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So there's leading, performing, achieving, giving, knowing, creating, believing and self-sustaining.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: So first of all, maybe cue us up for like how we should look at these as we read the book.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Obviously it tells us how to use them, but how did you create them and what can we use them for?
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Well, I do an exercise with people where I ask people what they're the best at in the world A question a five-year-old can answer.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: What I realized is people either didn't know how to answer the question or they belittled their answers.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just get things done on time.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: It's so boring.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: What I said is, if we're going to break down confidence into a set of elements, let's go do a quantitative study.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: We surveyed 1,000 people.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I got my old boss from McKinsey to come out of retirement to lead the research and we did 32 focus groups.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I love focus groups during a pandemic.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: People will tell you lots of things when they're stuck at home.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: What we discovered is confidence isn't just one thing, it's eight different strengths.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: It's not a personality test.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: You can go to myconfidencelinguagecom and take the free quiz.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: It's an inventory of your talents and it grows over time.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Most people have two or three.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: My mom took the quiz.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: She's got all eight.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: She's like I take your quiz, I have all eight.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: But it's really about what strengths are you bringing to the table?
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Which ones do you want to develop?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: For what reasons?
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: The eight just naturally fell out of the data set.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: It was a cluster analysis, so leading.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: I'm in charge, I set direction, I inspire followership, I'm in command.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Performing, which is what I'm doing with you today.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Extraversion, charisma the exchange of energy between two people or many people you like, having an audience those two qualities of confidence leading and performing are the most written about, talked about.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: They're the behavioral ones, though, and less than 20% of our data set have those as superpowers.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: The other six is what 80% of people have.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Achieving I get things done.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I have a winner's mindset.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Practice makes perfect.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: If it doesn't work out, I keep trying.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I set goals and I need or exceed them.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Giving I support others, I nurture and am empathetic.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Knowing I'm the smartest, most well researched, most thoughtful person in the room.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I love process.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: These are the three women in the movie Hidden Figures.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: How do you, three black women at NASA, do so?
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Well, knowing was their superpower.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: They weren't in charge, they weren't performing right.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: They were the knowers in the room.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I love that movie, by the way.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Talk about being bold.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of bold.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: The next one I'll talk about is believing.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: If you're a Ted Lasso fan, believing was Ted Lasso's superpower.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: He believes in positive intent.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: He sees the best in everyone.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not here to win or lose.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I'm here to make them the best version possible of themselves.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: So believing is optimism.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: If things don't work out, they weren't meant to be.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Creating which is, I think, probably your number one, my number one I can will ideas into existence.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I can create something from nothing.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I can believe in something before I see it.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: And self-sustaining, which is very hard.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I like myself.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: I don't need to impress you.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I know my market value.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: It's the quality most needed to overcome criticism or ask for a favor or a raise, and it's the quality that actually a lot of women, as they age, start to develop.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: They're like I don't need to impress you, I know what my worth is.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: But together, all eight become a more complete picture.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: And this is when I say the loudest voice in the room isn't always the most confident.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: When my mom looked at the data set, she goes oh, when a tsunami happened, men make speech and women clean up the beach.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I finally have superpowers for getting credit for cleaning up the beach.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: This is why Janet Yellen, when she was nominated to be the first woman head of the federal reserve in 2013, she was told she didn't have the gravitas in the press and as recline at the Washington Post wrote an op-ed.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: He said it's because our pervasive view of gravitas does not stretch to include her.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: She's soft spoken, she's collaborative.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: By the way, she's the most qualified for the job.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Why do we only label gravitas as charisma, extroversion and male attributes?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: We have to expand the definitions of success.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: We have to expand those metrics.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: And so these eight again not a personality test, it's more like Strengths Finder.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: You can have any one of these eight.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: It's more.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: You need to make sure you're getting credit for it, make sure you're seeing it yourself.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Most people take the quiz and they email me or they DM me and they say do I really have five?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I said yes, you've been under leveraging yourself or underestimating yourself your whole life.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: You should trust in what you bring to the table and if it's not being valued or seen, you either need to get people to change that score card or you need to find a place where it is valued.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think just one thing, as you were talking is people take the test themselves and information about those and episodes notes.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: But it's not like, oh, I have five, I need to get eight.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: It's not like I need to make sure I go work out and make sure I lift these muscles and get these things going for the three I don't have or the two you have.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: It's about recognizing and understanding the power you have and the two, three, four, five that you have.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: So talk a little bit about that, because in our society we want the eight out of eight, we want the five out of eight.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: If I'm only two, oh gosh, I must be terrible.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: But no, yeah, it's not like Pokemon, you don't need to catch them all yeah exactly.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Just to be clear.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: So many people take the quiz like, oh, look at my opportunity areas.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Exactly the first time I took our quiz, five years ago, I had three Leading, performing and creating Makes sense.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: I love ideas, I love being in charge, I love extraversion.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Right, leading, performing, creating.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: And what we did in chapter six of the book is we took 30 situations in life and we said for each situation, which superpower do you need?
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: We correlated in the data set and so for many of the situations, you can say, oh, I have that superpower, why haven't I trusted myself?
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, I can go do that.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: The quiz has told me I have that in me.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: But there were a couple of things where I really wanted to improve and so over the last three years I've added giving.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: That's my fourth one now.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: And I have a half a point like I don't have on self-sustaining, and the reason is one of the 30 situations is starting your own business.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: To start your own business, you need to have leading, performing, creating and self-sustaining.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: And when I saw this in the data set, I was like, wow, there's one superpower I don't have, but I really want to start working on it.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: So, self-sustaining when people criticize you, when people give you feedback.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Do you see it as a stick of dynamite or a gift?
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Or when you have to ask for a favor or you have to ask for help, you do it in a way where you're not doing it from a place of begging someone or weakness.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: You're like, if you say no, it's not going to be the end of my life, and so I think you can be happy with the set you have and know what you're set up to do.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: But sometimes there's something, a situation or another person where you're like I want to start developing a little bit of that.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: I don't need that as a superpower, but I need to know how to do enough of it.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Like, if you have to give a toast at a wedding and you don't have performing, that's a moment where you do want to practice it.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Or what I did is I hired people who had opposite superpowers to mine.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I don't have achieving, I don't have knowing, I can't get things done on time.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: So I brought people on the team and I celebrated their strengths and I said you don't have to lead or perform, because if everyone led and performed, we'd get nothing done.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I love that you're achieving, I love that you're knowing.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Like, go get it done right and I celebrate you for that.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: So you don't need all eight, you need to add the ones you want, or hire for them or bring them, or even in your family I had a lot of people over Thanksgiving dinner take the quiz together.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: My favorite story from Thanksgiving this year A woman wrote me saying my family took your quiz after Thanksgiving dinner.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: We just thought it'd be fun to know our family's superpowers.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: I think that I have been taking away my younger son's power his whole life.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: I was like shocked by this.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: She said I have two boys.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: One took the quiz and he's leading and performing and that makes sense.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: We go to a party and he's the life of the party, center of attention.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: You know, my younger one is giving and knowing and he can read any book cover to cover, and we would go to parties when he was younger and say, oh, my younger boy or my older boy, he'll have you in stitches.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: My younger boy, he won't talk to you, he's shy, he just don't.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Don't worry.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: If he doesn't say anything.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: He's like I could have said he just finished a book on pandas.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: If you have any question of pandas, go engage with him.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: He loves one-on-one conversations.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: He'll tell you everything he knows about pandas.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: He'll have so much fun telling you.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: And she said it's just because society labeled one as good and one as shy, right, and she said I fell into that trap and I think so many of us do that, right when we're like oh, society's told us this and yet, guess what, there's so much value in these other superpowers.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: I think there's your second book, like Gravitas for Parents.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: That's a great example of someone just being a parent.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes being a parent is really trial and error, so like you're not perfect and you realize as you get older maybe the mistakes you made when you were younger as a parent.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: But luckily your kids forgive you and hopefully they don't leave permanent scars.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Because it's not, it's a no book, right, there's no like.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: This is the way you do it.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: But I think understanding your child and also understanding yourself and others is such an important piece and I think sometimes we either judge too quickly, we use conventions that exist that are supposed to be our comparators of what we're supposed to be or how we're supposed to act.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Like women are not supposed to be speaking out, Women are not supposed to stand out, we're supposed to kind of fit in and kind of go with the flow and make sure you create harmony.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, that was something that I was told one time in my career.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: It's like, Lee, you're not creating harmony and I'm like, well, stuff is really jacked up, I can't write.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: You know it's my job to point out that this is not the way we want to be.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: So harmony is not in a, even in the forefront of my thought.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: You know one thing is not not licensed to give parenting advice.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: But what I will say is I've been really excited to see how men and fathers have reacted to the book I would say a third to half the readership, even though I wrote the book with primarily women in mind.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: A lot of men have written me saying I love what you taught me.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I have been measuring women on my team or people in my life by the wrong scorecard.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: You know, there's a piece of data in my book where I talk about Kelly Shue, a professor at the Yale School of Management.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: She evaluated 30,000 employee records and men were rated the highest on promotion potential but the lowest on performance and results, and women were the opposite.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: They were the highest performers but the least promotable.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: And when she double clicked on promotability, it was extraversion and charisma, subjective metrics and she said 40 percent of the pay gap related to promotion is a completely subjective metric, created by a scorecard that was not made by us or for us, and while it ended up leading a lot of male leaders who've read the book and said oh my gosh, I have a young daughter.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: You know how do I help her through this?
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: And I said let's be clear.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Those six forces, they're happening.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: A lot of men are like my daughter just turned 12 and I see all six of these forces.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I said, but with men, over time, the system makes them feel better about them, right, but women, they just make us feel worse.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: And a lot of men have said OK, can you please write the book for, you know, 15 year olds to 22 year olds, because with the added layer of social media and you know they need it more.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: And I said, well, that's something I've lived Like, that's a lived experience I have about being an outsider, always not fitting the mold.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I've been various sizes, right, 22, 12, eight.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: You know, I've been so many from a body image standpoint, so many sizes.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: That's a book that I could write.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: And that is a lived experience because I do think there's so much more pressure and a lot of these young girls have been sold, lean in and girl boss, by the way, important because they opened a conversation 10 years ago.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: But that's incomplete, right, that's teaching us to perform and pretend and live up to a corporate slogan of be more confident.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Today, I think it's really about authentically evaluating yourself and that's a skill set that I think translates to a younger generation?
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm ready for your next book on that.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: You know how hard it is, lee, I know.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Start today.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: You absolutely have it in you Too soon, too soon.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: This is the five years of my life Too soon.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: I hear that.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I hear that For sure.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Ok, we'll just put in the parking lot of kids Of consideration, but definitely needed.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: I think one of the things as women of, and one of the things you talk about, is the sisterhood of gravitas, and I'd like to understand what that means to you.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Obviously, you talk about it in detail in the book, but how do we support one another in this process?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Because the one thing that comes up for me people always comparing their journey to this person's journey, to that person's journey, or like not being OK, being vulnerable, and saying you know, this year was hard, or I didn't get what I wanted in the sense of my goals, or I didn't accomplish something I think there's a sense of you know, and I think these are why some of the things that I do have clicked or have been successful is because we come together, we do connect, we create a way to actually help others, maybe build or sustain or just nurture their own confidence.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And so tell me a little bit about what the sisterhood means in the book.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Well, and you walk the talk of it, by the way.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I just have to be open with you.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: You walk the talk of it, lee.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: You are the embodiment of sisterhood, and here's what I mean.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: We are living in one of the most exciting times in feminism, and if you think about the 60s or 70s, that was the first wave, where we needed to get bank accounts and to be able to be in the workplace.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: 80s and 90s.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: By the way, how, in Girlie Brown said not can we have it all, but can we have all the choices.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: And then, if you think about 2010s, is really about me too Activism, using our voice to amplify important issues.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I think this is the fourth wave which we're sitting in, which is I call it the abundance mindset.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: It's not scarcity.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: So many of my female bosses lived in the scarcity generation of the.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: There was only one seat and, by the way, even when I had that seat, I wasn't in a position of power to help you.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: I was only in a position of power to be tough on you, right, the men couldn't help you because they were more powerful.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: We are living in a world of abundance where there can have multiple seats.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: There's room for so many of us, and the more we stop competing with each other and comparing ourselves, the more we just start unabashedly supporting each other.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: By the way, we can do that if we know our own value, if we like ourselves, if you like yourself, if you know what you do has value, then you feel totally comfortable opening up your roll of decks to someone saying how can I help you, how can I hype your work, how can I amplify it.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: And someone said to me Lisa, you may never end up being a billionaire on paper.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be, but I want to be a billionaire in terms of total value created, the connections I've made, the opportunities I've created for other people, so that sisterhood.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: We have to actually support each other with purchasing power, opportunities, amplifying each other's work.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Everyone's on their own path.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Ours will just look different, it may be slower, but it's ours so.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: But, lee, you do that.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: You actually walk the talk like we met over text message.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: We had never actually had a real conversation and over Thanksgiving weekend, on Black Friday, I was like can I just call you?
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, do I?
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: know you Like no, never met.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: And, by the way, we had like two ways we were going to help each other and we just started firing off emails for each other.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: But we just met and yet we see each other.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: We know how we're trying to amplify each other's work.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: So I think that's just something for people to hear because I think we do at times at least.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: I see it is just people are living in scarcity versus abundance and they're doing it to protect their families or to protect their livelihood or whatever it may be.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: They insert the reason.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: But if you just let that go which is not easy, it's a skill, it's you work on it you get to a point where I guess in your life you're like you know, why can't I help more people?
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Why can't I reach out, why can't I do this?
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's an investment, but wow, like I always see, just what is it that I can do that's going to help someone else, and I don't care if it comes back to me, because I actually think I'm here for a reason which is to help others in some form or fashion, whether it may be opening a door one day, listening another day, buying product, whatever it may be, it's just that's why we're here.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: So I think, kind of getting back to kind of your purpose and what you feel you're here for, your purpose and your passion, and the more they connect, the better I think you will feel and your actions will align with really what you're, what you want to accomplish in life.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm so excited about this book I want to get in everyone's hands possible, and all the information about that is blow.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the bull lounge today, lisa.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: This is one of my favorite conversations this year.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I'm just so happy that we're in each other's lives now.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.