Latest / Rock My Finances / What’s the First Step to Feeling in Control of My Money? | Money Manifestation Chapter 8

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What’s the First Step to Feeling in Control of My Money? | Money Manifestation Chapter 8 · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 1: Investment advisory and financial planning services are offered through Simplicity
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  Speaker 1: be specific financial guidance. Before you make any decisions regarding
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  Speaker 1: tax professional to discuss your individual circumstances and objective.
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  Speaker 3: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on k FORHD
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  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
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  Speaker 3: in finance. Join Powerhouse Jeffer Jos CDFA CMC and private
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  Speaker 3: wealth advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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  Speaker 3: control and companies with your money, your way. It's not
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  Speaker 3: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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  Speaker 3: find out.
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  Speaker 1: Now.
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  Speaker 3: Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, welcome back to our money manifestation theories. We
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  Speaker 2: are on chapter eight right now, this is awesome. So
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  Speaker 2: what have we talked about all in this series? Well,
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  Speaker 2: let me start with we're going to talk today about
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  Speaker 2: what's first step into feeling control over my money? Okay,
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  Speaker 2: So what we've done so far is when you feel stuck,
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  Speaker 2: what we do in one of the chapters, how you
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  Speaker 2: push away money and you don't even know it, how
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  Speaker 2: to shift your emotions, alignment over hustle, emotional safety, holding money,
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  Speaker 2: growing money, and your self worth around money. So we've
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  Speaker 2: talked about all of that so far in all these chapters.
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  Speaker 2: So yeah, you got to go back and listen to
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  Speaker 2: the other chapter. So now the question becomes, who are
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  Speaker 2: you with money? What's our first step in feeling in
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  Speaker 2: control over money? So now that we've gone through all
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  Speaker 2: of this, because it's not just about what you've learned,
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  Speaker 2: but it's also about who you've become, who you're becoming. Right,
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  Speaker 2: You're not looking for more content, right, there's content everywhere.
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  Speaker 2: You're looking for a new dimension that makes people like
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  Speaker 2: just say, hey, I'm here and I'm ready to accept
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  Speaker 2: that money. Right? Okay, So control, how do we feel
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  Speaker 2: and more control? I want to give you a perspective
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  Speaker 2: that many people don't talk about when it comes to
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  Speaker 2: money because people say they want to feel in control
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  Speaker 2: over the money, but they what they really mean and
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  Speaker 2: correct me if I'm wrong in your little journal. You
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  Speaker 2: can write me a little letter. I want everything to
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  Speaker 2: be stable. I want everything to be predictable. I want
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  Speaker 2: nothing to go wrong. That's what control really means. Maybe
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  Speaker 2: even I want to feel free. That is certainty. So
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  Speaker 2: when you say you want more control over your money,
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  Speaker 2: what you're really saying is I want more certain with money,
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  Speaker 2: and money will never give you full certainty because even
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  Speaker 2: if you have gobs and gobs and gobs more, shit's
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  Speaker 2: going to hit the fan, y'all. Stuff happens, It always happens.
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  Speaker 2: Life always changes, so you're never going to have full
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  Speaker 2: control and full certainty. Sorry, sorry to bust your bubble.
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  Speaker 2: So what we really want to say is I want
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  Speaker 2: to be okay with the unexpected experiences that pop up.
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  Speaker 2: There's always going to be unexpected expenses, market changes, life changes,
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  Speaker 2: It's all part of life.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 2: My dad used to always say nothing more certain than change,
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  Speaker 2: and that is so true. So if you're wanting to
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  Speaker 2: want to feel more in control. Once everything is perfect,
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  Speaker 2: you will always feel out of control. So before we
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  Speaker 2: even talk about money, we have to talk about how
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  Speaker 2: you feel about control. Speaking to a control freak here
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  Speaker 2: in recovery. Of course, real control with money is not
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  Speaker 2: about controlling what happens. It's about controlling how you respond
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  Speaker 2: to it. Because two people can have the exact same
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  Speaker 2: financial situation and one feels calm and clear and the
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  Speaker 2: other feels stressed out and overwhelmed. The difference is not
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  Speaker 2: the money. The difference is their nervous system. Financial control
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  Speaker 2: is emotional stability in the presence of uncertainty. Write this down.
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to say it again. Financial control is emotional
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  Speaker 2: stability in the presence of uncertainty. Right, So new concept.
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  Speaker 2: You don't need to feel good, You need to feel safe.
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  Speaker 2: We talked about this a little bit in chapter seven,
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  Speaker 2: and there's another place people get stuck. They think they
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  Speaker 2: need to feel good all the time about money, positive, confident, certain, excited, even,
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  Speaker 2: But that's just not realistic. You don't need to feel
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  Speaker 2: good to be in control. You need to feel safe
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  Speaker 2: enough to stay present to what's really happening in your
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  Speaker 2: day to day life. Because when you feel safe, you
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  Speaker 2: don't panic, You don't avoid, you don't hide like an ostrich.
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  Speaker 2: You don't just react and blow up, or spend money
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  Speaker 2: or don't spend money, or say no and or say
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  Speaker 2: yes and spend too much. You actually stay with it.
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  Speaker 2: You stay with what's happening. You're present in the moment.
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  Speaker 2: And that's what we all hear, right, is more present
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  Speaker 2: in the moment. So where is your power? Here's a
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  Speaker 2: new exercise. Are you ready? I want you to try
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  Speaker 2: something very different this week. The next time something comes
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  Speaker 2: up with money. Instead of trying to fix it right away,
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  Speaker 2: I want you to pause. Can I stay present with
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  Speaker 2: this issue without reacting, even for ten seconds, twenty seconds,
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  Speaker 2: thirty seconds. Just pause. That's control. When we don't have
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  Speaker 2: to react, we are in control of our emotions. That's gold.
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  Speaker 2: That is totally gold. That's control. We're not jumping in
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  Speaker 2: and fixing it. We're not solving it instantly. We're letting
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  Speaker 2: it happen, and we're staying grounded when it's happening. That's
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  Speaker 2: awesome because this is where change really happens. It's not
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  Speaker 2: one perfect decision. It's your ability to stay steady in
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  Speaker 2: the moments that used to trigger you Now this can
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  Speaker 2: be about anything someone in your life that triggers you.
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  Speaker 2: I have that person in my head right now. I
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  Speaker 2: am triggered immediately. And when I can stay steady, calm,
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  Speaker 2: loving and joyous or at least content and quiet in
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  Speaker 2: the moments that used to make me flip out and
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  Speaker 2: I would just blow up or react with anger, I
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  Speaker 2: am in more control of our my emotions. And that's
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  Speaker 2: what it's about. It's not about controlling all the outside
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  Speaker 2: stuff because we can't. We can't control the market, we
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  Speaker 2: can't control other people's health. We can't even control other
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  Speaker 2: people's reactions to us. We cannot control anyone outside of us.
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  Speaker 2: So if we can learn how to control our feelings
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  Speaker 2: and our emotions and get triggered less and have less reactions,
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  Speaker 2: guess what you are on the road to feeling better
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  Speaker 2: with your money. Yes, that is when you know something
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  Speaker 2: has shifted. Ah okay, this is where everything that we've
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  Speaker 2: talked about supports you. The diamond reset helps you regulate
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  Speaker 2: your emotions. When we feel like we're gonna get triggered,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to stop breathe, feel the feeling and shift it.
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  Speaker 2: So example, somebody on an eight hundred number has just
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  Speaker 2: giving me lip service. They really don't know what's happening,
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  Speaker 2: but they're wasting my time, wasting their time, and I
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  Speaker 2: get triggered. Okay, I'm gonna stop, take a big deep breath.
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  Speaker 2: Here's the key. You have to feel it because I
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  Speaker 2: stop and breathe. But then I jump in, So we're
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  Speaker 2: gonna stop breathe and we're going to feel this feeling.
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  Speaker 2: And I know that I'm feeling mad because my time
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  Speaker 2: is being wasted and I'm not going to get this
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  Speaker 2: to do off my list and I'm not getting the
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  Speaker 2: right information and it's frustrating. So it's about me. It's
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  Speaker 2: not about them. They're doing their job. Trained is the
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  Speaker 2: way they did it. So I have to shift that
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  Speaker 2: and instead of snapping at them or getting angry with them,
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  Speaker 2: which I'm still working on, y'all. I'm still working on it,
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  Speaker 2: I have to look at that and okay, this is
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  Speaker 2: my So then I ask for their manager, or I
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  Speaker 2: ask for a callback, or I say, Okay, I'm gonna
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  Speaker 2: have to get off the phone now and I will
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  Speaker 2: call back later. And I call back later and I
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  Speaker 2: get a different person. I'm in a different mood. Things shift, right,
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  Speaker 2: I can't fix the situation because I can't control them,
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  Speaker 2: but I can stay grounded inside the experience, and then
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  Speaker 2: I feel so much better. From that place, I'm thinking
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  Speaker 2: more clearly, I'm responding differently. I'm building trust with myself.
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  Speaker 2: I'm trusting myself to be able to do this, and
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  Speaker 2: that's where control actually comes from. This is why I
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  Speaker 2: make my bed every day. Like I heard twenty five
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  Speaker 2: years ago, if you make your bed every day, wealth
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  Speaker 2: is gonna come. I make my bed every day. This
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  Speaker 2: is trust in myself that what I think is what
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  Speaker 2: I feel, is what I say and is going to
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  Speaker 2: be what I do. I haven't integrity with myself. What
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  Speaker 2: I think is what I feel, is what I say
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  Speaker 2: is what I do. That is integrity, and I want
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  Speaker 2: to keep it to myself first before I can keep
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  Speaker 2: it to anybody else. So that's really important to me.
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  Speaker 2: I'm eating better, I'm staying healthy, I'm exercising. Do I
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  Speaker 2: fall off? Absolutely? I had a whole gluten free pizza
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  Speaker 2: last night. Did I have half? I'm put the other
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  Speaker 2: half away? No, I had the whole thing. I was stupid,
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  Speaker 2: but it was so good. Wish I would have put
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  Speaker 2: half away. Okay, next time, I'm going to put half
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  Speaker 2: on the refrigerator before I even sit down to eat it.
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  Speaker 2: Did I eat anything else for the rest of the day. No.
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  Speaker 2: I had some pumpkin seeds at about six o'clock and
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  Speaker 2: that was it. So I did good. But now I
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  Speaker 2: know I can't trust myself with that whole mushroom pizza
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  Speaker 2: and it had been so long. That's hilarious, right, I'm
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  Speaker 2: sure you can all relate. We're not perfect. We don't
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  Speaker 2: need to be perfect. We just need to be on
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  Speaker 2: the path moving forward. So that's where control really comes from,
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  Speaker 2: you don't. You don't gain control by eliminating an certainty.
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  Speaker 2: You gain control by staying steady in it in the experience.
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  Speaker 2: So I love this. Let's talk one more thing about
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  Speaker 2: the beginning of this series, when we felt overwhelmed and
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  Speaker 2: uncertained and stressed out like something wasn't working. And now
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  Speaker 2: you understand something different. Your thoughts matter, your emotions matter,
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  Speaker 2: your state of mind matters, and most importantly, you are
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  Speaker 2: not stuck. Here's where most people go wrong. They go
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  Speaker 2: back to fixing. They do their they redo their budget,
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  Speaker 2: they redo their plan, they redo their situation. They get
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  Speaker 2: another financial advisory, they stop spending money, they yell at
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  Speaker 2: their spouse, they cut everything off, or they spend even
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  Speaker 2: more money. They go crazy. But it's not about It's
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  Speaker 2: not about changing and fixing the money. It is about
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  Speaker 2: your relationship with money. Because you have the perfect plan.
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  Speaker 2: But if you're still going to operate from stress, you're
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  Speaker 2: going to recreate the same experience. Does that make sense?
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  Speaker 2: And when you have a simple plan, but if you're
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  Speaker 2: operating from clarity and confidence, this starts to feel even
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  Speaker 2: more different. You don't create the financial life by doing more.
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  Speaker 2: You create your financial life by showing up differently. Does
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  Speaker 2: that make sense? So your first step to control your
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  Speaker 2: money is to understand why you need that control. What
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  Speaker 2: does that control do to you? Get that control in
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  Speaker 2: other areas, not just around money. Stop breathe, feel and
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  Speaker 2: then shift. You're going to feel and way more control
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  Speaker 2: because you feel like you want to control it, because
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  Speaker 2: you feel like you're out of control. Well, there's lots
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  Speaker 2: of ways to get into control. But if I give you,
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  Speaker 2: you know, download all your statements, where does every dime go?
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  Speaker 2: You know, where's your plan? What's your social security? When
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  Speaker 2: you're going to retire? All that stuff that all other
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  Speaker 2: advisors do you right off the bat. It doesn't do
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  Speaker 2: any good if you feel out of control with your
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  Speaker 2: decision making and your thoughts and your behavior. It's not
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  Speaker 2: going to do me any good to give you a
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  Speaker 2: great plan. I hope that makes sense. So instead of
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  Speaker 2: asking what should I do next? I want you to
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  Speaker 2: start asking who do I want to be with my money?
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  Speaker 2: Do I want to be someone who feels calm or clear,
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  Speaker 2: in control, confident? Because that version of you makes different
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  Speaker 2: decisions than the other one who's ostriche, avoidant, panicking, anxious,
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  Speaker 2: stressed out, worried. That person's going to make different decisions.
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  Speaker 2: Do not make decisions from that bottom half of the
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  Speaker 2: emotional scale. You'll print that out, emotional scale. Print it out,
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  Speaker 2: put it on your refrigerator, so you know where you're
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  Speaker 2: at at all times, around your feelings, the F word.
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  Speaker 2: You've got to know what you're feeling. Write this down,
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  Speaker 2: you ready more homework? My diamond life with money looks
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  Speaker 2: like now, my diamond life. I don't know if you
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  Speaker 2: all know my story here, but you'll have to go
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  Speaker 2: back and listen to my story. I did lose my
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  Speaker 2: two children and their burst own was diamond, and so
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  Speaker 2: I named my business is diamond, and I have joy
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  Speaker 2: every single day. And I love my diamond life, meaning
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  Speaker 2: joy every single day. So when I say my diamond life,
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  Speaker 2: if I can do it, you can do it. And
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  Speaker 2: I have a fabulous life. Is there sad sometimes? Of course.
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  Speaker 2: I run a grief group here on a monthly basis.
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  Speaker 2: There's obviously there's sadness. There's tons of joy. I do
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  Speaker 2: believe anybody that's gone through hell and back we have
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  Speaker 2: greater joy because we've had bigger or greater, deeper despair.
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  Speaker 2: Anybody that you can hear me right now and you've
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  Speaker 2: felt that huge despair, I know you can feel the
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  Speaker 2: utmost bliss and joy as well. That's just my belief.
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  Speaker 2: But I've experienced it, and a lot of my clients
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  Speaker 2: have as well. So write this down. My diamond life
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  Speaker 2: with money looks like it doesn't even have to be
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  Speaker 2: with money. My diamond life looks like what does it
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  Speaker 2: look like? It looks like financial freedom. It looks like
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  Speaker 2: if you don't want to deal with your money. I
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  Speaker 2: have a whole team, a money team that takes care
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  Speaker 2: of my money for me. That's what it looks like.
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  Speaker 2: What does it look like it looks like traveling twice
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  Speaker 2: a year and then weekend trips. It looks like playing
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  Speaker 2: pick a ball in Turks and Caicos and play. It
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  Speaker 2: looks like playing pickaball in Tahoe, and and you know,
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  Speaker 2: in Cancun. And it looks like speaking on stages all
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  Speaker 2: around the world. It looks what does my diamond life
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  Speaker 2: look like? It looks like love, joy, abundance. I want
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  Speaker 2: to have amazing vacations with chefs coming in cooking. And
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  Speaker 2: it looks like my athletic body is there. I have
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  Speaker 2: a trainer or whatever I need, great supplements, I have
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  Speaker 2: great concierge, doctors, whatever I need. My diamond life looks amazing.
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  Speaker 2: I want you to write that down and fill it in.
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  Speaker 2: Don't think about it in numbers. It looks like five
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  Speaker 2: million dollars, looks like ten million dollars, looks like fifty
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  Speaker 2: million dollars. We're not worried about the numbers. I want
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  Speaker 2: to see how it feels. It feels clear, it feels easy,
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  Speaker 2: it feels in the flow. I want you to do
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  Speaker 2: a rampage of appreciation around this. I appreciate my money,
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  Speaker 2: my clarity, I appreciate my freedom. I appreciate my new car.
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  Speaker 2: I appreciate my phone case. I appreciate my house. I
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  Speaker 2: love my house. I appreciate you know, my friends, my family.
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  Speaker 2: Just feel that love that makes such a difference in
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  Speaker 2: all the world. I want to hear you or see
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  Speaker 2: you write down all these things. I feel calm when
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  Speaker 2: I look at my bank accounts. I feel excited when
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  Speaker 2: I look at my brokerage account. I trust myself to
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  Speaker 2: make decisions. I don't avoid my money anymore. I look
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  Speaker 2: at my money daily. I feel excited to look at
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  Speaker 2: my money on my weekly money date each week. I
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  Speaker 2: feel in control. I feel confident. This is your new baseline.
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  Speaker 2: That's it. The version of me who lives this way,
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  Speaker 2: So write this down. The version of me who lives
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  Speaker 2: this way. She slows down, She makes decisions from clarity,
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  Speaker 2: not panic. She doesn't react. She trusts herself. The most
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  Speaker 2: important part, What is one way I can show up
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  Speaker 2: as her this week? Spend a lot of time with
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  Speaker 2: this even name her? What's her name? Who's this badass
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  Speaker 2: that you're stepping into. What is one way I can
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  Speaker 2: show up as her this week? Well? I know, for me,
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  Speaker 2: I need to make sure I'm getting in my meditations
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  Speaker 2: daily I need I'm what I'm gonna say is one
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  Speaker 2: way I can show up as her. This week, I'm
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: going to add meditation, relaxing in the sun. This week,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to have be a beautiful week ahead. Not everything,
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  Speaker 2: just one or two things. What's the most important thing
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  Speaker 2: We're going to do Okay, And now this is where
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  Speaker 2: everything comes together. When you feel stress, you're going to
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  Speaker 2: use the Diamond reset, stop, breathe, feel shift. And when
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  Speaker 2: you notice your thoughts, you're going to use the Diamond
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  Speaker 2: shift method, which means, over time, you're going to move
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  Speaker 2: it up the emotional scale from anger, frustration, overwhelm, up
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  Speaker 2: the emotional scale one level at a time until you
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  Speaker 2: can absolutely feel more clear in control. That's going to
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  Speaker 2: create your confidence. So if you take everything from this series,
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  Speaker 2: anything from this series, make sure you were never broken
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  Speaker 2: with money. You were just operating from old patterns that
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  Speaker 2: you didn't realize. We're running your money world, and now
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  Speaker 2: you see them. And once you see something, you can
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  Speaker 2: change it, not over night, not perfectly, but intentionally build
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  Speaker 2: your money muscle. Because your diamond life isn't something you chase,
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  Speaker 2: it's something you create. One aligned decision at a time.
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  Speaker 2: It's not about becoming someone new. It's about finally trusting
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  Speaker 2: the version of you that you were always capable of being.
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  Speaker 2: I just love it all right, y'all, thank you so
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  Speaker 2: much for being here in this series. I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: keep it going. We're going to do chapter after chapter
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  Speaker 2: after charity, I mean, chapter after chapter. I want to
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: make sure that you have all these tools in your
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: back pocket so that when things happen, you have someplace
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  Speaker 2: to go and something to change. To step into the world,
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  Speaker 2: your diamond life. I want you to be able to
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: feel that financial freedom. I want you to be able
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: to have those accounts making money while you're sleeping and
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: you don't even have to worry about it. You have
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: enough money coming in you don't even have to get
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: out of bed the next morning. That is pure financial freedom.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: And we want to do it the feminine way. So
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: we want feminine financial freedom because we want to be
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: able to feel it before it arrives, feel it before
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: it gets here. I want you to feel it in
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: your bones and your psyche and the new person you
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: want to be. It's just you stepping into what you
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: already know is already there, getting rid of the old
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: patterns stepping into the new. I am worthy of wealth,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I deserve a badass life, and I'm stepping into my
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: diamond life. Thank you so much for listening to the series.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Keep checking out other chapters, and come back for all
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: the other good stuff Unrock my Finances. I want you
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: all to be able to walk away and say I
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: rock my Finances.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: We appreciate you. Join us today and don't forget to
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K FOURHD
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: It's about the F word, feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: say I rock my Finances.