Latest / Fandomonium! A Fandom Comedy Game Show / Press Play - Doom

Transcript

Press Play - Doom · Fandomonium! A Fandom Comedy Game Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to press play. We're going through the less than
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: stellar history of video game movies. I'm Drew Shulman, and
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: with me, as always is my beef cheek broad Jason Winn. Now,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: whether you're watching or playing along, it's time to press play.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, like, we're all familiar with Doom. It's like
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: a dumb question.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: If you're a video game nerd. I do feel yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I would say, like, I think I know enough people
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: who know of Doom tangentially just because of the can
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: it run Doom meme? Like have you seen how do
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you not.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Know that one?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: That's my favorite thing. It is the like constant like
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: strain to see if they can get Doomed to play
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: on more obscure hardware. Some of the ones I've seen
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: in the last year or so is a pregnancy test.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: They got Doom to run off a fucking pregnancy test.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I think someone got it to run off like like
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: literally a Petri dish of like cells somehow like fucking
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: weirdest fucking shit. I will I will find you to
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: share you some they are fucking nuts, But it's just
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: the joke that it's like the most, like people have
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: goten Doomed run in Minecraft like live because it's such
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: a rudimentary game with such simple graphics.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Interesting. No, I I only mean that for like, I
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: guess I'm younger and so if you aren't familiar with it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: But that's a Doom game series. Even though Doom the
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: original nineteen eighty two is so prolific. I think if
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: you don't know video games, you don't know Doom because
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: it did fall out of popularity, why like hugely. Oh yeah,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: but I know video games, we know video games, and
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: so Doom is huge.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: No, I think definitely in the gaming spaces a lot
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: more well recognized.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: And otherwise for the mean potential, I think for the
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: other ones if they're if people are in like that
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: weird middle range. But also you brought a great thing
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I wanted to cover, which is like somebody we're gonna
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: touch on a lot today or at least I feel
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: like I want to get into a lot. Is just
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: how wildly different and how much Doom has like exploded
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: on the scene in the last like five ish years.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: And well deserve it, like the butth's this reboot series
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: so good? So good? Yeah, Like I don't think they
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: did much to the video game except bring it to
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: the modern era. I don't think it was like a
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: huge revamp necessarily. Like it's still first person, it's still
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: running gun. It's incredibly simple, and it's like, uh concept,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: you shoot demons as fast as possible. It's demons, like
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: it's it hasn't changed much, but just hey going like hey,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: where we would find it. It was perfect from the
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: get go, but we just we just added some modern flare,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: just kind of tells you how it stands to the
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: test of time. Yeah.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I kind of consider this the Mario model of games,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: where it's like, we have the thing, the game is
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: going to be down so tightly that we just need
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: to make like take what you already love, maybe iterate
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: on it a little bit, don't go crazy, don't go
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: adding wild new bullshit, but just like here's the formula.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: It fucking works. Let's just run with it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Like I think what was the most recent one, Dark
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Age has the whole like chainsaw shield thing.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the that's the only one I've ever played,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: if I'm being honest, But it is glorious.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: That is a wildly different thing than the original games. Had,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: which was really much just like guns and maybe I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: think later on a chainsaw. So to like add something
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: like that that doesn't take away from the gameplay, or
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: doesn't it you change your play style. It doesn't like
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: reset the whole game in some new thing. It's just
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: it's the game you already know in love, but now
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: you've also got to this other option and occasionally certain
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: enemies require to use it to like parry them to
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: then like do the run you normally want to do.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But again like that perfect level of like we're just
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: gonna sprinkle this extra thing on that is really fun
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: and not take away from the game you already love
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: and enjoy.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's it's it's it's awesome. It's sick doo,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: miss dope. This movie, this video game movie, I think
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: has a has a on the other flip side, it's infamous, right, yeah.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: It's only redeeming qualities is that it has the rock
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: and call it yep.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So for those who have not seen the movie, luckily
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: unlike us who are forced to stade and watch it for
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: the show, I'll give you a little recap. Something has
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: gone wrong with a remote scientific research station on Mars
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: All research has seized. Communications has failed. The last message
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: that did get through was pretty rough and not comforting.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: It's a level five quarantine and the only souls allowed
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: in or or out are the Rapid Response Tactical Squad,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: which I assume RTS was intentional, even though it's on
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: artest game weird.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: No, Yeah, I kept noticing that too.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they are a hardened group of marines, armed
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: to the teeth with enough firepower to neutralized the enemy,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: or so they think. Big muscles, big fucking guns, and
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: the most toxic masculinity I've ever seen on screen in
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: decades may not be enough for what faces them.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this is Resident Evil three, and it
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: fucking blows. It's so It's God, it was so boring, dude,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I know, Like, I don't know if so. I did
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: watch seventy five percent of this movie high off my rocker,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: and I don't that was unintentional. I wasn't. I was
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: supposed to have sobered up by then, but I don't
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: know if that would have benefited or hindered it. Regardless.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I fell asleep several times throughout this movie, and I
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: don't think it changed my opinion. I don't think I
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: would have absorbed anything else. No, the movie is.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Like bog standard action movie, Like it really feels like
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: and again like I think, my biggest grape before we
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: get too far into it is like the original Doom
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: games don't have much story, and this tried to cram
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: so much story in and still managed to miss like
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: the only like one detail we.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Know, which is demons and demons.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: It's literally Hell opens on Mars and we do not
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: get demons in this movie.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah on hundred per said. No, the from
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: what I understand, because I've watched several videos try and
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: explain the storyline and history of Doom getting into like
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: the latest game, and from what I can tell, it
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: is the most complicated dumb plot ever, Like it's it's
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: just guy kills demons to save Earth in some capacity. Uh,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: but there's always like oh sci fi this and and
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: and double cross that. But it's just guy kills demons
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: and they fucked that up. It's it's it's insane again.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: They went for the resident Evil uh plot line, and
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: it didn't work.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: It didn't even occur with you, you said, but this
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: is like basically like an exact retelling of Resident Evil.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I'll spoil it out, but with my first point I
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: think I make in this movie is the opening feels
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: like a worse version of Resident Evil because it's all
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: of you, like regular scientists, running from whatever the thing is.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And then we get like our one worst shot of
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: the movie, which is like the air quotes demon ripping
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: open the door to the dude's office before he makes
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: the call for help, or he makes the call for help.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: It you know, that's how it starts. As you say,
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: it doesn't stop by the way. You know, there's there's
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: there's science. There's dudes in black clad knee pads and
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: bandoliers being picked off one by one. There's a sudden
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: like interrogation scene of what the fuck are you guys
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: even thinking of doing it down here? Don't you haven't
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: you seen Jurassic Park. You've just on a Jurassic Park,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: you idiot. This was a Resident Evil, was what you did.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: And then people become zombies because they're all human based.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah it's zombies, like bullshit, Yeah, it really is just zombies.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: They try to ask if they're aliens or not, but
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: it's just zombies with a little bit of soul talk.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Does the human have a soul, right.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they science that they prove the soul through science
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: in this movie somehow a.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Full chromisoone people with an EXTRAI zone have souls. I
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: suppose people who who don't have it don't have souls.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, we have a lot to talk about.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Give us a right down to the video games people
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: who don't know, because I guess it's worth knowing. No,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: we have a lot to chew on in this one.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah we doo we too.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Starting in nineteen ninety two, Doom is a prolific game
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: that brought the PS to the absolute apex of video games.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: This came onto the scene and every video game was
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: an FPS ever since. Right, So, like if you like Battlefield, Tailo,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: counter Strike, Call of Duty, you have Doom to blame
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: or to, you know, to inspire to. And then Doom
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: kind of petered out, as I said, like in the
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: in the two thousands with actually right around the time
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: this movie released and Doom three and then kind of
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: disappeared completely from culture. And then in twenty thirteen, but
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: as it came back with a revival series that has
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: really come out to commercial and critical success. Doom is
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: just you shoot demons in hell. As we've talked about.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: It's a run and gun style and yeah, you know
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: it's funny.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: It's like we're just harping at how like they like
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: they took the only bit of story we knew about
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: this game and like fucked it up for the movie.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: And then ironically we have Bethesda taking this game in
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: twenty thirteen too, going like let's just keep it the
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: way it is and like not mess with it, and
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: oh look success.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you see, well they they also waited
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: like two games before they went, how are we gonna
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: mess with it? Well, dragons, dragons and swords and maces
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: and shields. That's kind of fucking sae.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I will say, I have a coworker who's really into
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: these games, and he's played through the three of them,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: the whatever the reboot. Uh yeah, the second one was
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: called in the Dark Age. I really don't that this.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, one was called Doom Maternal and Doom the Dark
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Ages or the three.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, he gave me like a brief running out
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: of like some of the story and like what it
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: has to do, like how the demon thing works and
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: how Doom Slayer became who we and what he is,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: and it's like right, they've like they've grown lore within
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: the games without making it like ridiculous or over the topic. Again,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: it's pretty over the top. It feels like anime related
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: like bullshit.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah, I was gonna say it's over the top.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: But like it's the kind of thing where like myself
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: who's played through like the first few levels of each
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: of those games, like didn't feel bogged down by like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: let's explain the lore and story of how your sword
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: was crafted by nine demons in hell from these seventeen
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: regions he saw they went to screw with this sweat.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's just it's run and gun, a
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: few fun collectibles, some silly uster eggs, and just if
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: you get a new weapon, it's likely to do something
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: you already like doing, but bigger and scarier and flashier
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: and maybe of a few extra bonuses.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there are levels of that lore, because
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: it does get quite complicated in these Bethesta games. But
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: while I'm playing it anyways, I'm just like, kill that fucker,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: kill this guy, kill that guy. There's no that no
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: one cares actually about the story, because it does happen
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: in the background. It's that classic video game thing of
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: someone talking over the microphone. Doom guy, we gotta get
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: over to the to the bridge, and the bridge has
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: got the excellent and battery and you're like, shut the
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: fuck up, let me just shoot some people. What the hell?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: And again like y it's it's well embraced and I
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: like that, and I think that's what did so well,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: which this movie really didn't. If we could get into it.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: It got complicated in ways that was unnecessarily Like oh again,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: it really bothers me how much this is like a
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Resident Evil remake because we gave that it. Like I'll say,
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: a Resident Evil wasn't a very good movie. It's a
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: pretty good video game movie. But we followed the plot
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: as it went and we went with like the the
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: unnecessary plot twists and little like science mumbo jumbo. Here.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I fell asleep completely when they were explaining this. It
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: was so boring. It had nothing to do with anything
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: at all. Oh my god.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: And I think this one goes even further because, like,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: at least in a Resident Evil movie, you expect some
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: science jargon bullshit because it is a virus and it spreads,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: and they explain away the mysteries like well, how does
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: it infect people? Or how do I Why am I
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: not infected? Why am I infected?
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: This this didn't need it. Like they even have like the.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Even they have they have a they have a water
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: dropa teleportation machine that has unexplained just say it's spooky
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: monsters exactly.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: We even have the whole thing of like whatever Carl
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Urbin's character, I refuse to know any of their names. Yeah,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and then his hot twin sister whose parents died in
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: this like horrible accident and like the whole time I'm
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: expecting like, oh, they probably encountered the first demons and
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: like there was a cavin or a fight and we
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: don't know what happened, but that's what happened and we'll
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: learn about that later. No, they just died in a
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: weird accident on this base and that it's unrelated to
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the story at all except that it convinced Carl Urbin's
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: character to not joined science and it said go military
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: for reasons.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Not joined science and go military. The two genders are
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: you science or military? Military? Now, this movie starts off
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: bad because there's we've already talked about it. It starts
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: off incredibly resident Evil. Here's the big difference. It starts
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: off resident Evil. We have all the beats of it visually,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: and then this like Scooby do you ask be I
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: was like, it's like the weirdest fucking music choice ever.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Like it's an upbeat rock.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: In It's almost like, what the fuck it like the
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: kind of music I could picture in a level of
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the of a doom game, but not like in the
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: intro of a horror movie.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so thematically off. Like again, you're absolutely right,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: it was very like testosterony rocky, but it was supposed
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: to be like these people screaming in terror and like
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: this is supposed to be dark and suspenseful. It was
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: so weird. I was expecting like one of like one
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: of the aliens to run through various through the doors,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: back and forth. Yeah, chasing the alien instead fucking stupid.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: And again like I'm no like convinced we're gonna hit this.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: In every fucking movie. Once again we get an exposition dump,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: but this one's like two lines of dialogue Max. Yeah,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And it was all explained a way later in like
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: three scenes when they eventually get there and like start
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: the traveling to Mars thing, It's like, so you didn't
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: need this because you did the exact same line of
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: dialogue like ten minutes later after we see the opening.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: It's it's so interesting that they just keep doing it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: It's just they absolutely bought rock bottom opinion of their
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: product and the audience at the same time. From the
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: get go, they're like, ah, fuck, dude, put it out there.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Oh it really it really is.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like it really is the sign of like
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: we don't trust the audience to figure this out and
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: waiting nine minutes is too.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Long for them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's such.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I will say in the opening, I will give I
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: will give not a point, but just like I will
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: call out I like that they named the main scientist Carmack,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: after John Carmack, the creator.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Of the series. Yes, yeah, absolutely are going to give
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: that a point. Absolutely, go ahead, Yeah, you know what,
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I think it deserves that one. Yeah, yeah, recognizing creators,
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: that's cool. Yeah.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I will also say this opening, like I said, I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: kind of dislike the they reveal like it's like a again,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I watched this in the daytime, so my TV gets
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: a bit of glare on it. But like we do
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: see like one of these creatures rip open a door
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: before uh doctor Carmack, after he makes his call, and
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: like we kind of see like a bit of it
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: in detail, and it's like, besides that one shot, the
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: rest of the VFX and movie, we're like pretty good.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Like the water chopolet and the BFG like energy blasts
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: are a little dated, but like not too much. Okay,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: the actual creatures look fucking great, not bad, not bad
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: for two thousand and five.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, Oh yeah, I think the designs
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: are bad because again, they're just zombies.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Yes they're yes, but like when she's when they were
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: like when they're like I want to say, excavating, not
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: when they're when she's when she's opening up the one
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: and like pulling out its organs, which is like the
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: books have livers, chickens have livers, like talking about like God,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: shut them up.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: They just trying to say that they weren't humans. He's like,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: but because she's saying, I don't know, this looks like
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: a human heart, and he's like, other things have hots,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: what do you mean And she's like, well, this one's
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: got a penis and bolts.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then finally the realistion like, oh, it's had
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: its appendix removed, Like like what only human aliens can't
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: go under surgery to have their appendix is removed.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: That's insane. I love it. She says it's appendix removes
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: and not it doesn't have an appendix, which is like
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: the fucking you would think that first, dumb ass. I mean,
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I'll give her the point.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I think the idea is that she was like realizing
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: it was human and then like looking for the appendix
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: when it's not there, but I can clearly see where
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: it was attached before, kind of thing like the her
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: way of proving it's human.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so, because are you saying that maybe
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: she knew that there was an appendix shaped hole where
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: that was.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I think just like she's going through the list of
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: organs and going like, oh shit, this is very humany,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: and then getting to where it should be and going,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: it's not here, but this is clearly like where it
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: was attached and like removed kind of thing like just
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: being a scientist who might know biology enough to know.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: That yeah, yeah, yeah, she looked in there and she's like,
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: wait a minute, why is there not a fork? A
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: knife in here. Why isn't there a wishbone? It's the
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: pieces on the fucking operation. I see. We were talking
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: about what's the kind of a turkey, Like do you
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: drop your fork knife in your turkey? And sometimes they
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: have there's like a fork a knife piece, or there'll
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: be like a wishbone, even though human beings don't have wishbones.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: And then there's like a dog shaped bone. I think
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: it's like labeled the funny bone or the any who. Yeah, no,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: we're not on to a good start with this movie.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: It is. It is weird. It is not good. Again.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: The visual effects do get better with the exception of
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: a few things.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: But like, but but we do get a shirt list
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: the Rock very early. We do.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: We we do have our tightness meter here going off
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: the charts with this man because holy, like, I mean,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: come on, the man has been flawless since day one.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: God damn it, fucking chiseled ass rock here. I do
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: miss this era of the Rock as well because spoiler alert,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: he ends up becoming the villain uh and dying a
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: little bit of humility. He is like a badass. He's
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: stellar in this movie. Yeah. One of my favorite parts
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: in all of it is there's this there's this deplorable guy,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: and we will get to because he has many moments
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: in this movie. I believe his name is ports I
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: just watched it, Porter Portsman, Portman Portman. Yeah, you're right.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Oh god, he's a despicable guy. And every time the
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Rock argues with Portman on screen, it feels personal. He's
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: always like it feels like the Rock like like the
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: actor for Portman probably like watched the Rock pee and
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: his like portable gym because he had that back then. Uh,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: and he was like, dude, that's weird. And then ever
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: since then, the Rock has had a chip on his
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: shoulder because it's every fucking time that he's like Portman,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: shut the fuck up itself. First.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: It is really the same because again, like I think
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: it's it's him and Carl Urban who like give a
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: decent performance, like they actually do give it. They're all
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes like over the top. I think Carl Urban one
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: has the line of everyone has to face their demon sometimes,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: which like hurts because like, of all, you're calling attention
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: to the fact they're not demons, like like yeah, it
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: almost again, like there's this level of like it feels
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: like they were trying to reboot the franchise here somehow,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and their idea was like, well, what if they're not
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: demons and they're actually something we can deal with, not
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: realizing they're just ripping off every zombie movie ever, and
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: that was their way of like alluding to, like, oh,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: they're demons but not actually demons. So the first games
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: weren't wrong. And I just want to punch whoever wrote
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: this movie in the nuts. It's just unoriginal. It makes
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: zero steps towards anything. And I thought this movie would
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: be great. I really came into it with a lot
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: of energy. I was expecting a certain product, and that
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: product was going to be like because there's really schlocky
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: scenes in the beginning when we get introduced to our team,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: right or cast of wonderfully black clad bandaliered leathered people.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: There's like these slow mo action scenes where they're classically
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: walking like they're the fucking a team and stuff. There's
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: a couple of moments with that hokey music that I
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: mentioned earlier, when I went, oh, this is going to
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: be glorious for Jason. This is gonna be full of
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: just the worst, the worst action moments in the slow
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: mo and and the line deliveries, but it's just fucking
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: boring from here on out. Yeah, it's like either the
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: characters like we have, like we said that the Rock
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: and Carl or men who are like seemingly into this
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and like serious and like does end up with them
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: having like a pretty decent final fight to the two
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: of them. And like again, the fact that Rock is
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: so legitimately the main character for so long and like
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: takes this twist towards the end where like he becomes
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: all about the mission that he's been like willing to
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: kill civilians because it's what they were told to do
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: and he's just following orders. Like it's it's a decent twist.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Like I will actually give this one a point. I'm
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: giving this a point because like it legit decent twist.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: That's so that's the point. That's the point.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. On the other hand, everyone else is incredibly unforgettable.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: It's incredibly sincere. But nothing, I don't know, I feel
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: like I'm gonna run out of things to say here
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: because just nothing, nothing happens with it because it's what
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: do I mean by that, It's the exact same sequence, right,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Like we've got a bunch of military dudes have to
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: come to a military facility on an off place, and
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: in this case it is Mars, which they don't harp
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: on enough if I'm being honest. Yeah, seriously, it's like
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: it's like almost doesn't matter. Yeah, they have to pick
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: up assets from a mysterious science place. That science liaison
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: just so happens to be Carl Urban's sister, and they've
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: got this mysterious back and forth of what's wrong with you?
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: How could you do this, how could you do that,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, And so it's all vague, and
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: then we figure out, oh, monsters, zombies, and then we
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: figure out, oh, the science place that where they're super
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: shady and shadowy, they're the reason for these monsters. They
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: didn't just come out of anywhere. It's it's so incredibly
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: uninteresting after all that, it's so.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Blunt, and then like on top of that, try to
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: like twist this thing at the end with the like,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: as we joked, like the whole like oh, like party,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: your genome that isn't properly like sorted by science, that
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: might be where your soul lives, and like this infection
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: can figure out whether or not you're a good person
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: in your soul. Yeah, so it only infects bad people
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: or people who have like these like aggressive tendencies, but
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: good people.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: And then if you can inject it into a good person,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: they just become sort of Superman esque and like I mean,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: like literally just super strength Wolverine level healing. You just
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: become like the most generic list of mutant powers.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: From the X Men. Yeah. Yeah, it's so brutal. There.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: You made a note too where you were like, oh,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I like the references that this mix to the video games.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I didn't. I thought they were the laziest references thus far.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: They were so bad.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know what I wrote was I like when
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: they make reference to video games, so it makes terrible references.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, terrible.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I think when he first says like they get a
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: mission and the rock turns goes we have a game Boys,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: and it's like you call your missions games like that's
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: only there because this is based on a video game,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: and it's awful.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know too many of the other
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: references of the video games. There's a BFG, which in
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: the video game stands for a big fucking gun. It's
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: like the best gun and you get very limited AMMO
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: for it. And this serves a similar situation. But I
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: think it's called a BioFusion weapon, I believe, or oh yeah,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: fusion gun.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: They give it a stupid name, and it's like, oh, bullshit,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: fuck off, you just didn't give it. Don't give a
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: name called the BFG. Never explain it. The gamers will know.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: People will go whatever, it's a big fucking gun. They'll
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: figure it out.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, yeah, one hundred percent Pinky, which I really
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: hated that reference. Pinky is like the scientists that's on
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: the side throughout the process. Real prick of a guy.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Oh also his his weird like lower half wheelchair cybernetic
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: thing also poorly c G.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Poorly CG. It looks it literally looks as got a
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: fucking spy kids.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: That's a good one. That's a good point right there. Yeah,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: he's supposed to reference like one of the more iconic
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: demons from Doom. If you've ever seen like a pink
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: cow dog demon thing, that's Pinky, and he does become
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: like a dog, and that's like the closest thing we
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: get to an accurate depiction. I think there's also these
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: other kind of iconic doom monsters. I think they're called imps,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I believe.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're kind of the generic enemies mostly, so yeah,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: that's what they all kind of look like are cause
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: again there was no consistent design. There was just like
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: everything looked like a weird like mass of genetic mutation.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Enis. Yeah, that's where I was gonna go with that,
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: because the imp man himself is a generic brown humanoid.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So me calling that an imp is pretty generous because
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: it is just a generic zombie to your point of
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: just vines and nonsense.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you have something that like the one. Like
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I said, like, I think the best look we really
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: get at them is when they are tearing apart and
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: pulling the organs out of that one who they realize
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: is one of the scientists, when they have the whole realization,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: who's just like bony mass and like weird looking. And
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: then you have Carmac who's stuck in the Nana wall,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: who somehow is still alive in there, and he just
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: looks like a bad like Morpheus vampire thing. And then
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: we do have one that they fight in the sewers
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: hoone that we ever see again or if they even
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: kill it. Or not, but like it actually looks like
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: a demon, like it has horns and like fangs and shit.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, it's it's I guess the biggest reference
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: is the first person scene. There's an FBS scene where
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: we go first person and it was pretty pretty good.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: I wish more stuff was like that. I wish it
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: was quicker.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had that same thought if it was just
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: like twenty higher speed, like if they just you know
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, Actually, noxt. I know there's a lot
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: of people who complained and there were a lot of
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: report people getting motions sick from it.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering if it wasn't slow down like post release hmmm,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: because it really it does feel like not like too slow,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: but it feels too regular pace. Yeah, and I think
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: it may have been the kind of thing where it
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: was sped up at some point and maybe looked better.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I'd have to find it.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Didn't see aything about the name of my research and
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: never came up any of my notes anywhere. But like
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: the fact people have that exact same thought, it's a
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: little weird.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, and especially considering that at
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: the time there was motion sickness. Maybe with how TVs
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: or movie screens were as well. It exasperated that that
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: could have been part of that too, But uh yeah,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: and maybe we're just broken people. Uh because we play
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: a lot of video we're real gamers, really get motion sick.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: I clog in, dude, that's my nine to five? Are
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: you fucking joking me? That's baby shit.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: But again, like that scene actually, like one is like
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: has some decent moments. It is a fun, weird twist.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: It also the kind of thing where it's like it's fun,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: but like, I don't think I ever need to see
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: it done again, like it was done once, it was
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: done well enough. I don't think you're ever really gonna
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: get a better version of that, really sure. Yeah, And
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: then like there are a few like I don't think
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: funny moments, but like kind of moments that felt very
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: like things you do in the game, like like dropping
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: the bomb before the enemy jumps up behind you kind
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: of thing, And like the fact that it looks down
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: and notices the ball before it blows up was like, Okay,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: that's just campy, but like I think that kind of
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: worked for this moment.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I don't know.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I feel like if you could somehow get that level
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: of like campiness and like ridiculousness across this movie, it
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: would have been a better film versus the like attempt
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: at a horror movie that really didn't work.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Yeah, like, and that's again what I
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: was expecting was sorely disappointed by was I thought it
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: would become something like that, like I don't want Street
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Fighter again, but I thought this was gonna be levels
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: of like street Fighter. Ridiculousness is where I thought this
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: was going, and with the rock that really excited me.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: It's interesting because in the early days we went, let's
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: stop pretending that this is bad. This pretends that this
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: source material is bad, and then does it earnestly if
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: that makes any sense, Like it goes, this is stupid,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: but we could do something better, which is generic, and
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: it's like, no, I'd rather have at least something interesting
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: to look at. Take me for an idiot, take me
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: for the full fucking ride at this point, make it
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: a kid's movie. I guess, Yeah, no, I know what
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: you mean.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: It's yeah, like we've we've yeah, we really do. Like
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: it's it's the same thing we've been asking movies to
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: not like to do better in this one the absolute
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: wrong direction with that of like yeah, yeah, oh yeah, no,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: you know, just yeah.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: This is the first one where we haven't really delved
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: too much into the fucking story and like the the
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: did you?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: You gave a great bit of the story, but you
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: covered all of it. It's literally the opening scene of
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: we gotta go to Mars because the thing's happening. Get
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: to Mars, the thing happens, and then they realize it's
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: bigger than we thought it is. Let's leave and make
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: sure no one escapes. And then again the real only
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: big moment is the twist when the Rock goes from
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: being like oh no, we're like the good guys, like no, no,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: we are the bad guys and uh Carl Erbert's character
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: being like no, we're gonna do this the right way
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: and fuck you.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this one was brutal. Is this worse? This is it?
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I this is worse than Win Commander. I'm saying it.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: It's worse than Wing Commander.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: But here's what I will say. I will after all
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: of this fighting about it, I and ironically think I
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: enjoy this movie for just how much of a schlocky
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: action movie. It is like this to me is up
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: there with like like I'm like, I'm thinking of like,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: have you ever seen the crank movies?
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Uh? Station, I know I haven't, but I know of them.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Oh they are.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: They're like parodies of action movies and how stupid they are.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: There is a moment in those movies where he needs
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: to keep us adrenaline up, so he like bangs his
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: wife over a like bus stop in front of people
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: because it gets his heart going. And then she stops
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: him right before he climb acxes because it'll keep his
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: heart pounding so it he'll go longer. And it's like
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: it's so dumb. There's like a bust full of like
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Asian schoolgirls drives by, like seas that start taking photos
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: and laughing at him, and it's like the most like
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: what the fuck drugs were you on making this? Because
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: clearly it's what it is. Yeah, And this is like
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: almost that level, Like I think if they just like
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: really rat the silliness a little bit more, Yeah, have
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: really gotten there.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: No, I wanted more of that. I wanted more of
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: that because the most the most I felt anything was laughter,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: and the most I felt, Yeah, the scene was going anywhere.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: It was when the rock was like again just being like,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: shut the fuck up, Portman, you scientist lady, get your
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: fucking shit straight. I'm sick of everyone here. Like that's
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: that's the most I felt. But it had nothing to
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: do with the movie had It had nothing to do
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: with I wanted bigger action scene. I wanted here's the
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: thing about Resident Evil, right, like Resident Evil went over
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: the top in certain areas and the acting was truly terrible.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: This is bad, but it's not the worst thing I've
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: ever seen. It's not like, you know, there was just
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: never an interesting moment for me. I agreed to with
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: you that it should have gone harder. But then my
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: my thing is is I don't think it went action
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: schlocky enough. I want more crank moments like that, if
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: I'm being honest. Oh yeah, it literally felt like I
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: was trying to ride two trains at once. Of the like,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: let's do like an interesting story with the whole like oh,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: this future of humanity and like the infection and the ooh,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: like humans do things and like science, but then also
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: like the na that's just crazy guns, big action set
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: piece moments like the fucking fight in the electrified walled
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: pit with yeah, Destroyer, Destroyer was Duke and Destroyer with
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: their names the Destroyer like versus this, like one moment,
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: this monster like this getting pinned against the wall repeatedly.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: He was just like, what a fucking great action scene.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, great moment. Like I was like,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: where did it come from? This movie didn't deserve to
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: be this good.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: This movie, this fight scene went really hard. It was
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: a very visually interesting fight scene, paced well for a
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: character that didn't deserve it. If I'm being honest, like, yeah,
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: I love Destroyer, sure whatever, fine, I guess, but like.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Great character for the what three lines he might.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Deliver if act, you know what I mean, Like it
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: should have been Karl Urbans or the Rocks, or we
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: should have more time with Destroyer. He doesn't even have
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: like a single moment that I could describe as personality
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: with the.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Only thing about him I can tell you is he
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I think was Duke's pseudo brother in the army.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: How the fuck do you even know that?
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's one of the things Duke says when
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: he talks to Samantha, because that's the only time fucking
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Duke does anything.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that Duke did cry over his death, but I
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: took it as just generic crying over a fallen soldier situation.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Oh no, And that's one thing actually they do give
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: us is like, and again I understand not paying attention
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: because everything they say needs nothing. No, no, because even
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: the fucking flirting between him and Samantha, it goes from
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: like she has zero interest in any of these people.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: She's so like, I can't stand you blockhead idiots. And
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: then he like makes like not even like a good joke,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: but like like a shitty like line, and then turns
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: it into a will you sleep with me type joke,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: and she just goes like, oh, you're kind of funny,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: and they flirt for two minutes while she's working on
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: the creature.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: What the hell?
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Oh it's like I almost wish I didn't know that happened,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: but it's so bad. It's just like, okay, yeah, I
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: know we because of course you need one of the
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: characters who be into the hot character and the hot
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: character to acknowledge them and give them any kind of
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: romantic interest of sorts.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Right, I'll be honest. I I fully fall asleep during
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: various parts of this movie. I did wake up. I
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: woke up for the for the fight that scene. I
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: woke up for parts of the first person juniter scene,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: which is why I knew it was slow, because I
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: was like, whoa I woke up to that, dude, I
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: fell asleep woke up when we restarted. Carl Urban versus
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Dwayne the Rock Johnson again Humble Humble Rock era, because
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I think nowadays if it was those two, the Rock
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: would like. If it was, it would be a fast
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: and furious movie first and foremost. Uh, fast and furious Mars. Yeah,
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: and they would have to put like car Or first.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: They will, they will do that. They've already been to space.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Those guys, uh and Carl Urban would be wearing like
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: stilts because the only people who fights the Rock are
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: people who are just as big as the Rock, or
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: they find someone bigger somehow.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: One of the things I learned about this film was
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: that the Rock was offered the main character part, like
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: the one who would ultimately survive and be the hero
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: who Carl Orbin takes over for, but he was like, no, no,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I want the other part. It seems more interesting.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: It is more interesting. He's great in it again again.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't rewatch the movie per se, but I
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: had seen it before I forgot about the twist. But like,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: at no point in the movie do I look at
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: the rock going, oh, yeah, you're like kind of like
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: too much of a jerk, Like something's wrong here, Like
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: you started vaguely hinting at it towards the end, and
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: then finally the like very overt like no, like take
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: care of it or oh, when they're saying like, oh
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: they could, they can be cured, and he still shoot
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: somebody anyways, and it's like.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, fuck, I don't think. I don't think there's
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: ever like a character change for him. He stays consistent
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: because he starts off as like I am for the
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: mission whatever that entails, and I'm withholding bits and pieces
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: of info about the mission, and then that kind of
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: like disseminates slowly, like bits and pieces that of info
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: gets disseminated slowly, so that we find out that this
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: is in fact the mission that he is assigned to.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: And then his quote unquote goes crazy moment is that
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: he's bitten and infected, and.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: So it's like which makes more sense and like gives
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: him the actual fighting chance against Carl, who was also
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: given the magic twenty fourth chromosome wizardry.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: It's just so funny to me that they've it's a
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: chromosome that can read your soul and turn you stronger
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: if you're good, And the implication of the souls and
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: the chromosomes is so funny in the modern era, Like,
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: that's so funny they would I don't know if they
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: they must have known the science behind that chromosomes and such,
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: but just saying that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it sounds like very like unresearched, like they
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: didn't know what they were doing, but you have to
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: know this.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: But they knew that like chromosome like adding or the
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: lack of chromosomes has something to do with something, and
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: they went, you know what, that's how good of a
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: person you are if you have a chromosome? Go fuck you?
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, spending of not good fucking people. Can we talk
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: about Portsman for a minute here, because oh.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: My, oh sure, yeah, speaking of dated and yeah, this
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: movie's opinions, But I feel like it's.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Like, I feel like other movies have done this too,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: where you get like this asshole character who like is
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: only there so that you like root for them to
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: die horribly sure, and even then like his death is
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: by no means like better or more extravagant than anybody else's.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: He just sort of gets killed by one of these
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: things in a bathroom. Like it's like, so were they
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: just making him like this chauvinistic, misogynistic asshole, racist sexist
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: jerkquad because it was funny the act.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Itself, that him dying itself is not more extravagant. But
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I will say, Pinky are scientist guy Dexter Fletcher himself.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: He's like there man in the wheelchair. He's like checking
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: in on comms and stuff like that. And at one
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: point someone does go, hey, where's Portman, and Pinky goes,
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know, and he's like he's not on the line.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: His communication is fine. On my hand, I don't really
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: know what's going on. It's so vert, and I understand that,
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: like Portman's a terrible person, terrible person specific to Pinky,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: to women, he's he's awful, But just the way that
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: he goes, I don't fucking know what's happening on a
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: mission is wild, Like oh yeah, it's just so openly
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: murders a guy, and so I guess that's like the
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: movie's way of like also keeping us in the loop
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: and it being a celibratory deaf, because yeah, they do
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: mark him to be a terrible piece of shit. But
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: I also thought that was weird of like, yeah, I'm
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: definitely in charge of your lives. Fuck this guy. That's
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: like the equivalent of like someone taking your lunch at
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: at work and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: leak all your infidelity texts on the work slack. I
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: was really looking forward to that Chick fil A dude,
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: what the fuck?
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Oh it, chick FLI Okay, now that makes more sense.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I feel like you can have that asshole character and
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: again there's there is a line between like they're a
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: jerk and they're like like blatantly a bad person, and
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: either they're like not too far past that long and
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: they can be redeemed and that's kind of their thing.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I think we Commander kind of tried doing that with
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: a Oh sure with Lillard's character, where he kind of
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: went from being like the I don't care, I'm flipping
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: in fun and crazy and then oh no, I had
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: repercussions and now I will learn to be a better pilot,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: which we also never really see him do. He just
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: sort of like man's up a little bit but doesn't
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: do anything other than like getting a ship.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Again, where is this movie?
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: It's like he has no redemption arc, which I don't
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: want him to because he was a fucking prick and
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: a half. And then like so I'm like, okay, so
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: we want his death to be like I don't want
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: to say, like fun or enjoyable, but like at least
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, like my god, like at least he
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: kind of deserved this really bad death.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: And then what is it?
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Like he gets like scooped up out of like a
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: toilet stall by a thing, and then the rock fires
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: the bag and I think like, oh, it's too late,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: he's dead. It's like, okay, so he just die like
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: everybody else.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: His death reminds me of to make other comparisons to
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: other movies that are related to this here, his death
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: reminds me of like the way Night death, the Newman
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: death in Jurassic Park, or like the lawyer who's who
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: gets also killed in a toilet. But the thing is
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: is again to your point, those guys are bad, those guys,
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: but they're like comedically bad. They're like, ah, he was
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: a jerk. This man is a deplorable human being. So
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: you wanted it more than a than newman death. You
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: wanted it more than just the lawyer who got eaten,
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: And yeah, let's tall death. And then when his death
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: is like barely noticeable compared to the other soldiers, it's like, well, then,
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: what was the point of building him up as this asshole?
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: The only the only thing I can draw him it
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: is someone in the waiting room legitimately thought this was
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: a funny character, and that person should be fired forever
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: from writing movies. Here we go. There's a negative point.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: It's been a while since I touched this button.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Well, when when the movie is this low down and
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: worth this little, it's hard to find things to complain
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: about that arhole.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: We'd be fucking mash just just if you know that
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: all over again, just all over throughout the thing would
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: just be that on a loop for four minutes. Yeah.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I will share one little fun fact though I found
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: it was at least in doing some nice callbacks to
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: the game. Is the locker that the BFG is stored in.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: It's like labeled as I d KFA, which is actually
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: one of the cheat codes from the original Doom. Oh
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: that gives you. I think it's it's all. It's all keys,
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: full weapon, full ammo, and the BFG prop itself. There
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: were two of them. They apparently vibrated. I don't know
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: why they had to vibrate, but they did. But the
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Rock kept both of them.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: He said, fuck, fuck this, there's two and I want both.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: It's like, I think I get there were his character's thing,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: but like you didn't leave one with the director or
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: the car. He hads both and that's on the Rock
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: dual wielding them. And I'm like, that's the fucking best
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: thing ever.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I want to imagine like his house and I
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: like there's like a shrine to all the random stuff
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: that he's collected, and it's those two. And in between
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: them is the cast that he broke himself out of
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: and Fast and Furious. But after he said the line
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Daddy's gotta go to work, that's right.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I have not wanted the Fastest Fears movies since like
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: the third or fourth one.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: My god, he's in a cast the entire movie, because
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I think this is one of the movies that he
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: was like half for. This is how boring this movie is,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: by the way, Matt, like, keep it in, Uh, do
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: you want to talk about other movies? Because I've run
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: out of things to say about this movie. So just
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: just bear with me to go back to my Fast
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: and fears right for most of the movie, and at
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: the very last second, he just cracks the cast by
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: flexing in it and then says Daddy's got to go
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: to work and then continues to be a part of
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: the movie from there on out. It's so good.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so good. But like, that's the
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: kind of thing that would have like worked in this movie.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: And I think I would have been like, yeah, funck off,
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: that's so cool.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: It would have been dope. If he pulls out the
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: BFG and then he comes out and he's like, I
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: got two big fucking guns right here, does his biceps
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: he just like rips his sleeves off. Oh that'd be
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: so sick. Oh my god.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I uh yeah, there is so much more to say
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: about this movie. We really kind of like I'm looking
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: at my notes and being look, can we kind of
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: we've plumbed all these depths. I will say, I don't
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: know if the Nano walls were like a complete movie invention,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: or if there's something that did show up later in
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: the games somehow, Like I wouldn't put it past them
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: to be like a type of door in a video game,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: because they feel very video gamy. Yeah, but like the second,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: the second we saw it, I'm like someone getting stuck
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: in one of those yeah, right right leg Yeah, And
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: it was just a matter of like, is it gonna
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: be one of the good guys while running away, like
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: power fails and it cuts them in half, or they
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: gonna use it to kill a creature, and even that
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: it doesn't kill them, it just it captures them in
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: the wall somehow. Like I'm it seems like a really
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: weird and uncomfortable way to go.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: But yeah, comicook knowledge, I'll give it that. But yeah,
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: the teleporter to Mars is a real thing. That's that's
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: the main thing. Oh yeah, that's like the big thing.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Like and again I'm glad that it was like alien
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: e like in the sense that isn't like just a
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: human built thing like when they first get there, it's
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: like the giant elevator thing that opens up and position.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: How could you. Yeah, that was part of the first
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: six seconds of the movie. I'm just saying I know what.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I know what I was expecting and when I was
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: like worried they were gonna show it to us, and
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: like it's just a super normal portal that like a
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: normal human would build, if humans build portals. So the
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: fact that it's weird liquid goo things like, okay, cool,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I guess so.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't think there was a point, but I'll give
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: it to them. And we're really reaching for points here.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Anytime I can remember the points, I'll press the point. Butson, okay,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: you know what.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I not worth the point. But I think was a
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: fun little fact that was during the end credits. Did
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: you watch the credits by any chance?
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I doubt you don't. I saw your note and I
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: refuse to actually trust you. I trust you and I
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: don't want to waste my time.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Why the end credits are done in like a first
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: person shooter mode and essentially every time a name shows
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: up and like fires and blows up the name, with
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: the exception of two names Carl Urbans and whoever played
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: a sister they get away Roseman Pike.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah on early work by Rosamond Pike really interesting as
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: well her in this movie of whole things.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she was again like a decent actor, unfortunately in
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: a very poor setting. Like like when she spoke she
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: like it felt like she actually cared, which was nice
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: and it played well versus the Rock and Carl Urban
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: and the fact that like they also seem to care
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: about the film and then everything else, with the exception
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: of maybe when Duke gets upset over a Destroyer smash
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: her what was his name was Destroyer?
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: One of the guy's name is just Clay. There's yeah,
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: there's Reapers, the kid, and then there's just a guy
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: named Clay. And the whole thing is it's because he's Asian,
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: So why would he name be named Clay. That's everyone
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: else is like fistier, maybe not fister, but you know
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: But also, like Duke is pretty standard by comparison to
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: everything else, which is weird.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Don't they have a racist joke about the Asian guy? Yeah,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: that I just said. The joke. Yeah, it's if someone
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: goes up to him and he goes, you don't look
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: like a Clay, and then he says like fake Japanese.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like ninety percent sure it's fake Japanese. It doesn't
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: mean what you think at least.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: It was just his name, and it's a very long,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: complicated Asian sounding name, and it was like the joke
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: is that white people can't pronounce that, so they're gonna
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: give you a fake name.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: No, I think he's trying to like say something in
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: like Japanese to prove that, like is that what you wanted?
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Oh you want me to not have found American or whatever.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: And honestly, this movie is set in twenty twenty six.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: We forgot to mention that it's incredibly realistic. No one's
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: wearing like back to the future shit. People are still
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: wearing like white black tank tops and normal pants and
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: then also being racist to Asian people. So it's twenty
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: twenty six is looking pretty pretty predictous.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: It's also really weird how like the movie is set
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: in like for its moments modern day. Yea, they just
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: happen to have found a portal to Mars, and in
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: doing so, also we're able to build a base on
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: Mars somehow, because yeah, sure we can't get there ourselves yet,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: but like getting there's yeah, you know, once we're there,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: it's we can set up a base easily. It's the
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: getting their part that's hard.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Tvh I think Dexter Flescher looks a lot like Elon Musk,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: and I think they knew. I think they they knew.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: That's yeah, yeah, no, I had that thought too, don't
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: you worry. This is the second pockets of recorded. This
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: movie made fun of Elon Musk and someone looking like
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: him in an episode of a show. Shit. Yeah, I
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: mean that's all there really is. How do you rate
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: this film? I'd write this a Doom three for films
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: for sure, real bad, hey, real bad, infamously the worst,
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: I believe. I don't know much about that doom. I
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: know that's the worst.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe maybe I'm soft, Maybe there's a nostalgic
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: factor regardless, detached from the the game franchise as just
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: like a this is a movie I could put on
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: in front of my father, who just likes dumb action movies,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: and we would have a good time laughing at how
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: stupid it is. I'm giving this like the left half
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: of the Demon. I saw it in half with my
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: chainsaw earlier. Nice, Like it's like there might be some
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: AMMO or some health packs in there, like it could
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: be good, but like at the.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: End of the day, whatever, it was fun. Sure, yeah, yeah,
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: absolutely as an adaptation. What are your thoughts as an adaptation?
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Oh god, did you play a lot of the Doom games?
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: I definitely played a lot of Doom when I was younger,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: because it was just like the game that was easy
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: to put on a PC and I knew how to
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: do it, and like every teacher I knew was like
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: didn't know enough to like stop me from installing it
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: on a computer. So I've played like the first dozen
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: levels of Doom multiple times. I've played like the multiplayer
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: like mods people built, and I did dabble in the
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: newer ones just a little bit. But like, yeah, like
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: this movie just it drops the ball so hard on
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: being an adaptation, Like I really feel like this was
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: their secret way of being like, well, if you change
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: the story and give it a plot, could we then
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: spin this off into a new, revamped version of the game.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And then it failed miserably because of it. H So,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: as an adaptation, I'm giving this one lack of an
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: appendix real it was, it was I'm truly missing something. Yeah, no,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: it's it's an incredibly simple plot. A couple references here
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: there does not do it for me. I'm giving this
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: a Quake In terms of adaptation, there woo.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a deep seated video game reference right there
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: for you folks. There you go.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: So yeah, like we said, not a particularly good adaptation.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I would still say, if you have like a bunch
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: of friends and you want to like drink and just
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: watch the rock hamm up a scene and like a
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: few decent action scenes among some shitty acting and some
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: decent acting in the weird spots, like, it's an easy
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: hour and a half. I think it was to enjoy.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Did your copy of really bad audio quality too?
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: Or was that just my I think it wasn't a
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: glaring issue. Wasn't something I noticed?
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Oh like I needed subtitles because if I put the
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: volume loud enough to hear them speak, the gunshots would
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: like tear my house down.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I've rented every single one of these movies via Amazon,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: so it was fine. I don't know if that's what
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: you've been doing or have you been using a sulterior
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: nervous Yeah, that's what I thought you were doing. Yeah,
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: So mine was fine because I'm moral and better than you,
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: and I mean you are. I've spent forty plus dollars
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: on this show, like god, ping terrible movies. Please please
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: hold on. I had to rent Resident Evil twice because
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: I couldn't finish it within the forty eight hours I had.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I feel so bad, I'm putting you through this. Oh god,
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: it's mine. Oh I spent eight dollars on Resident Evil too.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Oh my god. Oh, We've got to find you a
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: better way.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: I'll off for you. I think I have ideas I
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: can expect extend my piracy to you. I think i'm
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: men ways.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it. Oh, I just
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: can't worry. I just get ads for Edie Medicine. Afterwards,
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: it feels bad.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: I was trying to say, if I can get over with
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: a joke for Edie that would fit Doom, like you know,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Eternal Common Doom. Oh god, let's just take this to
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: a mini game. Let's have some fun with some people
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: and forget this horrible movie ever happened? Welcome back. Hope
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: you enjoyed those ad breaks, assuming you get those. Still
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: on this feed, we are joined with some lovely friends.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Would the two of you like to introduce yourselves? I'll
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: let Ben start. I decided, all.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm Ben Robinson, and I'm here to play a
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: game about Doom.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: And I'm Chris Reagan. I am also here to play
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: a game about Doom. And I definitely said Dune and
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: not Doom. I know you can't tell the difference, but
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: I just needed to clarify that I said it wrong
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: right up top. So I'm I'm happy to be here.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: How did they How do of all the things, did
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: they not find a way to like cross promote those
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: two They're both coming out around the same time, the
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: second movie in the new game, it's like purely off
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: the name aesthetic, Like no one was like, can we
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: just make a thing happen or a DLC or a
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: crossover or something.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: No missed. Everything has to night, you know, even like
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: that what.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Was it Barbenheimer? Where the whole Like it was just
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: the two movies came out at the same time, so
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: it was like a fun thing.
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, thank you, Chris.
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: It could have it could have been Doomed the spice ages.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: I would play that game. And then, speaking of playing Doom,
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: do either of our guests have any history with Doom?
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Better more so than we do.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, I have a fuck ton of history with Doom. Really, Yeah,
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: I played that. I mean, like I started with like
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: Wolfenstein three D way back in the day and uh
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: love to Doom. I think it was my eleventh or
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: twelfth birthday party. We went to a place called PC
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: Components that held land parties because like like you know,
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: you couldn't get a bunch of computers in one place,
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: but they had like eight computers set up in the
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: lobby of the of the store. So I went there
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: with a bunch of my friends for my birthday and
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: we did team or we did you know, deathmatch essentially
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: in Doom one.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: Damn, that's so sick.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: That was one of those things like I always saw
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: people do or heard about, was like the birthday parties
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: where it was like just all get together for a
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: gaming thing. Like later in life with Halo. We got
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: a few of those some friends and I we had
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: like just like a bunch of old routers being used
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: to hook up like four xboxes on like just like
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: wires running through a house with like TVs in every room.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: It was. It was a hit show. But this is
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: my favorite segment of the show where older gamers tell
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: me tales of what it used to be like.
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: You never got much better back then, You never had
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: a landline party at a house.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: Jason.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: You know, I didn't have friends when those were things,
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: and then by the time I got friends, multiplayer online
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: was the thing.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: Well, to be fair, you were probably like six when
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: we were doing that in high school and stuff, So
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: I guess that's probably a good thing. You weren't, you know,
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: being invited to like high schoolers' houses to when when
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: you were a wee child.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I wasn't cool enough. Oh.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: We used to my brother to all the cool like
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: high thing because he was under sixteen, so he could
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: go and steal shit for us. That like, you wouldn't
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: get in trouble if he got coxed. He was a minor.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: We were, We were awful humans.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: It turns out that's like a reverse of what people
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: usually do. You hired younger people. Oh, we didn't hire.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: We just let him hang out with us and in
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: exchange he would steal little shit.
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: I should do that with my kids.
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, my god, teaching me on that's a great idea, Jason.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: Were you even born when Doom came out?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Doom came out in nineteen ninety two. I believe for
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: my recap I was born after.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: I mean to be fair. I was just recently on
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: the Pandemonium episode about the NES, and I was old
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: enough to get a Super Nintendo. But the NES was
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: like the vintage system from when I was a kid.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: So I was the I was the child in that game.
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: I feel you.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: And Chris, what about you with Doom? Do you gotta
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: get a lot of that in when you were younger?
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: Okay, So so I never played I never played the
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: video games.
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: I never did.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: I tried to get you to play the video games.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: Do you want to do you want to share that
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: Star Press? Yeah?
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah. Jason lent me the newest Doom. I was
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: so stoked to play it.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: We had talked about it.
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: We're like, we're gonna play it together like around the
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: same time and talk about it and stuff. So Jason
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: lent me it for the PS five. I had recently
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: gotten to PS five. Got the disc, was like, way
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: where do I put it into this PS five? I
• 54:22
  Speaker 4: had to Google. I had to use the Google machine
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: to learn that I had the wrong PS five that
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: doesn't do discs. And you know what, I'm really glad
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: that I'm sharing that here with you guys, and just
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: I like to really be embarrassed at all times. So
• 54:42
  Speaker 4: this is just going to be in the back of
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: my mind for forever. So I still haven't played any
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: of the games I really really wanting to. But however, however,
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: I fucking loved the movie and the two thousands. Me
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: and my sister, we fucking loved those, like those shitty
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: two thousand sci fi movies. Look, I'm not saying it's good.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: I'm saying I fucking loved it, and have I watched
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: it within the last decade or two.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: No, I mean.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Spoiler for the episode, you can probably not rewatch it
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: and be okay. And that's what that's live with the
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: memory happily. That's kind of what I That's good, That's
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: kind of what I figured.
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: Although i'd probably i'd probably still fuck with it. I'm
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: not gonna lie.
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: Just just to hear the Rock say sempify, motherfucker at
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: the end, it just always tickles me.
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: I think you just watched the ending segment of just
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: like the first person shooter segment and then the fight
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: with the Rock at the end as like a good
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: like just like he's like twenty minutes like or whatever
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: fifteen minutes it is. That would be good that would
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: be worth re watching. Hey, that's fair, That's totally fair.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: The POV situation is seen. Blew my mind when that happened.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: I was like, you can do that in movies.
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I'm I'm joining you guys today, not from
• 56:03
  Speaker 4: the video game Love, but from the movie Love.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: So I love this.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I love our first I'm actually being a split like this,
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: a movie fan and a game fan.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: So I have devised a game here which I'll be
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: intrigued to see. I feel like all of my games
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: have always been like way more difficult than I intended
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: them to be. This one, I'm hoping is not the
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: case for once. But we will see how how much
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: I regret those words. So, if anyone knows anything about Doom,
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: they're like, up until now, there really wasn't lore. The
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: only thing you really knew was Doom Guy, Demons and
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: the one gun you had to find because it was
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: the coolest fucking gun in video game history at the time,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: the BFG. So what I have here for you today
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: are a few scenarios where I'm gonna put you in
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: the shoes of a character from a video game, and
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: then you need to let me know what game and
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: what the weapon you'd be using is from that game.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: So I'm looking for a game and a weapon. So
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: I have an example one you can sort of just
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: buzz into this one, or we interact with you whenever
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: you want, you know, Matt style, you find yourself faced
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: with squid spinning rocks at you, bats and other batties
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: and a dungeon. What weapon would you take to face
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: the final boss, either in his hot man form or.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: His pig form?
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: What are we buzzing in with?
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: Just your names? Are just that? Yell the master Sword?
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: This would be the Master Sword, and I mean obviously
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: the game you know, but it is. Let's just all there,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: you go. So I'm giving you a few clues of
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: who this thing would be facing you. Let me know
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: what you're facing it with and what game you're from. Jason,
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: want to read the next one and see which one
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: of them can buzz in first.
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: Hell, Dan, Ben, I hope you're ready to beat the
• 57:33
  Speaker 5: shit out of.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Me with this game. I mean, I'm hoping some of
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: these are pretty obvious.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: I was going to put in the god mode code
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: I D d q D, but maybe.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: Heck yeah, heck yea all right, he not needed for
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: this round, all right. So you find yourself face with
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: the militaristic force of a power company that secretly runs
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: most of the world's superpowers. Also living cacti, grotesque monsters
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: of all shapes and sizes. Oh, Ben, what do you got.
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: The Buster Sword from Final Fantasy?
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: Yes? Oait quick one? Yeah Clouds? Oh yeah, Cloud's so sick?
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: Right right?
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: Did I get it? Right? Cloud? You got it?
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: You know the right references.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: That's a character from Super Smash Bros.
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: Right, literally, the only reason I know.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: Looking at this list, there might be some other Smash
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: those characters in here, so you might be able to
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: get some answers.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: Out of it. Right, Yeah, So how about this one?
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: He and Coach?
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: You find yourself faced with creatures born of Heart's darkest selves,
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: the shells of those folks too, Also some goof your
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: foot soldiers to finally facing off against I don't know,
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: a guy who went back in time and became his
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: younger self and then his clones, and there's thirteen of
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: them in robes and maybe some childhood nostalgia.
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: Oh Chris, yes, the key Blade, it is the key
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: Blade Kingdom Arts.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, no, you were smashros Smash Rosen played it.
• 59:03
  Speaker 5: I've never played it.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: I'm listening to like a recap podcast on it now,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: and my god, that game is the zanious fucking bullshit
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: to think about.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: Someone. I'm let someone got that one. Yes, nice, nice one. One?
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: Looking pretty pretty good going on us. All right, So
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: let's see here. You find yourself faced with the hordes
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: of monsters, gods and legends of the ancient world. None
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: can stop you on a quest for vengeance against the literal.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: Uh that's uh Crados, god of war, and it's I
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: need the weapon, those fucking two blades with the chain.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: Uh give it, I will say, if Chris can tell
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: me the name of the weapon, I'll give him the
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: point over Ben.
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: The the Credos Cutters, I would love.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: That about what they were called commercial afterwards, Get your
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: own Credos Cutters.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: It's an ancient Greek blades you garry or some ship
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: I know blade?
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, blade, Fies of the skating movie.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: I want to see cradles in a skating game in
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: the next Olympics game.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we got to back to back to two
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: to one. You find yourself faced with the end of humankind,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: let alone the galaxy. If you don't take down a
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: conglomeration of different alien species who all decided you're the problem.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: Now finally face to face, you must blow up some
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: planet sized mega weapons that are in fact not religious symbols.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 4: Chris, Yes, Halo rings, like like he used the Halo
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: rings as the weapon, Oh.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: Give it to you.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: I put Energy Star as my default, but I was like,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: any Halo weapon, I'll take it up point and surprisingly
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: the more accurate one.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: Ship, You're right.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: I was trying to think of like the main weapon
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 4: of it, and that's all I could think of.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I guess I think we're taking any like
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Halo weapon. But I was just like, yeah, that actually
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: technically works better.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 4: You're right, Ship the Needler, the needler made the Needler
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: should have said it.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: So op is two A P and two.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: The Magnum sulmost broken fucking gun in that game, And
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: I love they brought it back the way it was
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: supposed to be.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: All right, so let's see here next one for me. Yeah,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: you find yourself faced with a secret organization dating back centuries,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: maybe even millennia, and also maybe gods, all while you
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: are the best of your clan, A secret organization date
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: back centuries.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Assassin's Creed, the Hidden Blade.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: That's the one. Oh yeah.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: I do like the fact that it's basically just like, yeah,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: this secret evil organization, maybe some gods. What are you guys,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: a secret organization? Maybe some gods.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, I haven't played any of the recent I've played
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: up through like three, I think, and so like at first,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, I think this is Assassin's Creed, and
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: then you said might be gods, and I was like,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: maybe not.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: They got into a hole. There's gods. There's a bunch
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: of them.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: Adam and Eve were like a pre We're like pre
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: human predecessors. It got really off the rails by the
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: third games.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you get fourteen games deep, Laura is gonna get
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: fucking wacky now.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: It started early on. I remember being like fifteen playing
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: two and getting that little bonus clip of Adam Parkour.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, that first yeah, that first first teez of it
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Like
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: the adiple was a weird alien relic or something aliens
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: and gods.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just love that idea that like maybe
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: Noah wasn't on Arc. Maybe he was on a ship
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: fucking ride on space ar just fucking with only one left. Ben,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: you are in the lead with this one. So this
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: is christ to tie or bent win. You find yourself
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: faced with turtles, dinosaurs, skeletons, plants, princesses, plumbers, and recently
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: even more wacky critters. Rushing to the end, take the
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: gold that is rightfully.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: Yours Mario and like a fire flower.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: There's not a whole lot of weapons in that.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: Game, but I've made it a very specific one here.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: If you listen to the whole thing, you can steal
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: it a weapon that Mario would use. You got Mary,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: I'll give you that one. If Chris can't get it,
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: you got it.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: But it's it's the Tanuki suit. That's that's that's his
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 4: ultimate weapon.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: It is a good weapon.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: But I was very much looking for something as I
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: was talking about rushing to the end to get that
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: gold medal, I'm looking for the best.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: Web, the blull, Mario Kart.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: I was looking for Mario Kart specifically. Damna would be
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: a fun trick you want to end on. But that
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: does officially give Ben the fourth point out of six
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: and making him the winner of this Doom episode.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: I only win non cannon games. That's cool.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: True.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: None of this counts for stat leapers. None of this
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: counts against your grade. This does an excuse me to
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: write some stupid games and see how much fun I
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: can have with you guys.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, hey.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: But you're a winner in our hearts, you know.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: I really struggled through that sentence. So there's a lot
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: of valves in there.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: That's my bad.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: But the Doom player will shortly be ripping out of
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: our chests.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: I I definitely some other weapons I wanted to dabble in,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: but I couldn't think of good things for I was
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: gonna try to get the Lancer from Gears of Wars,
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: but I don't think anyone knows what the fuck that
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: things called besides the chainsaw gun. And then I was
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: debating the megabuster from Mega Man and the plasma gun
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: from Dead Space, but those seems way too niche. But
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: I feel like, how do people know what's called the megabuster?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: It feels like I really like just it's his. I mean,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: I probably would accepted just arm cannon muster.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: That's what it's usually called in the menu is true.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, aren't all the weapons abbreviated.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: It's like the first letter and then whatever it actually is,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: so like the whatever, like the guts punches, the g punch,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: it's the end is for Mega.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the R coil for the little yep you can
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: jump on. I don't even remember what rush good for?
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: Rush yeah rush yeah.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: But my problem with those games was the fact that,
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: like there were certain things you like, you could only
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: use so many of those. You can only restock them
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: like occasionally. But there were like certain hidden things that
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: or even some levels that required it. So it's like, oh,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: I got to this point in the level, I can't
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: advance further because I didn't bring this one specific weapon
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: with me. I better restart the whole level and make
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: sure bring it this time like an idiot.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: Either that or you can subscribe to Nintendo Power.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: That number is great.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever happened to those a weird Anyways, you're a winner.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 5: Ben was our winner.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: Ben was our winner. Sorry, my brain is bad. I
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: just got out of surgery like less than forty eight
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: hours ago. I'm still some of the pills, so apologies,
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: and I can't remember how words work.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 5: Drew get better.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, don't worry.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take some weed after this and just sit
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: on the couch and watch a bunch of TV.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna take some weed, he says. I can't fucking
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna pop two weeds and I'll be good.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna it's like back of razing
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: the story your inventory? How many weeds can I carry? Oh? Yeah,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: so the blue weed or the red weed. They look
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: the same, They're just shaded differently. One does different things.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: Sir, sir, it's herb. We're on a podcast. Sorry, you
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: gotta refer to it as herbs.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, the sketchy guy out in the out in the
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: middle of a zombie apocalypse lifted open his jacket. He goes,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: what are you buying and was telling me totally legal herbs.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not fully legal in all states in the US.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: I know it is.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: Kid, we might be on fire. But if Verdic gets
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: this joint, someone plug yourself. Put me on my misery.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: Uh yeah, me, I'm I'm I'm me. I've got some
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: stuff space these go check it out.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: We actually put a new episode of the Exploration out recently.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: I did see that.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, we'll see if we do that again. But
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: we did it, so check that out.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah, and Chris, where are you at these days?
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: What are you doing? Oh?
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 4: I don't have nothing to plug. I'm just here because
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: I love you.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: Guys. Oh, we love you. That's the best plug of
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: all parts. Friendship, friendship, friendship. It was the friends along
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: the way we made. What do do demon friendship? That's
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: the message what we get from Doom. All of this
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: movie does canonically make your soul a real thing, and
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: it can decide who's a good person. I guess. So
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: maybe friendship was the thing we all needed along the
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: whole time. But only if you have the right number
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: of chromosomes.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, if you have enough chromosomes and you're a
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: good person, friendship is magic. It turns out this movie
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: is fucking wild.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: Guys.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: You gotta keep the fucking worms out of heaven man.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: And if that concludes another chapter in our journey through
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: the history of video game movies, Thanks for joining us
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: on the couch here press play whether your thumbs are
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: on the controller or remote. Speaking of thumbs, if you
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: enjoyed this episode, leave a five star review for Gate
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Leapers on your podcast app of choice. You can also
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: catch the Beef Cheek Bros. Drew and I on the
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: main game show Pandemonium and Matt Naudra also have a
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: monthly round of Bonus Round. I'm not really on social
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: media like that, but Drew, where can people find you?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: You can find me at boxes on Blue Sky or
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: at box this Thought, on Instagram and Threads, as well
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: as all news pertaining to this show and our sister
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: shows at gate Leapers on the same platforms. This is
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: your Beefcheek grows signing off and remember don't blow in
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: your cartridge.