Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep82: Evelyn proves rust is a myth; Nick gets bad reviews while in drag.

Transcript

Ep82: Evelyn proves rust is a myth; Nick gets bad reviews while in drag. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Reverse Jackass.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: Folks, welcome back to the Reverse Jackass Podcast, the podcast to bring peace between the United States and Canada.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Nick, and with me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn, say hello to these kind of people.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: This time with feeling.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now do it in an accent.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I have to.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: That'll bring in the advertising dollars.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Great work.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, we make we are losing money on this every time.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Every minute.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Every minute someone's listening to this.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like a termite ridden house.
• 0:41
  unknown: Yeah.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: My bank account is just straddling the border.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really is.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Peace comes at a price.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Peace does come at a price.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: Peace comes at a price in that I downloaded MapQuest and I am now using MapQuest to do my GPS because they didn't change the name of Lake Ontario.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's me putting my my money where my mouth is.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, is it as flashy um or sophisticated as Waze?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: Not yet.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but is it totally acceptable?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: And does it honor your value?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Between countries?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it does.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's my new GPS app.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's all we care about.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's all we care about.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: I saw a reel on Instagram that I thought was really funny, and it was one of those the text on screen said, every Canadian right now, and it was this one woman talking about how it's a woman apologizing.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's a woman just 60 seconds of apologies.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: He was talking about how uh she's like, Yeah, we're we're doubling down over here.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was made to look like one of those little interviews.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: We're doubling down over here in this house.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I'm really trying hard to find my Blackberry.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we're not using the iPhone anymore.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Really trying, I can't find it yet, but there is a box in the in the attic.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think it might be in there.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then she's like, and look at this couch.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: This couch was this couch was made in Winnipeg, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna be paying it off for the next seven years.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Just talking about how it's it's not cheap.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's not cheap to anything by American.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, it's really not survival.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's not cheap to buy American either.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Everything costs so much money, and we're all hating everything, but we don't hate you.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: The word is complicit.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, thank you, listeners, uh, for forgiving me and hopefully those that I love uh for the deeds of my country or the misdeeds, I should say, of my country.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: But meanwhile, it's an Evelyn day.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, something else that might need forgiving.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: You just never know.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: You never know how this is gonna be.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fingers crossed, let's go.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's an Evelyn day today, and um something we haven't talked about here very much is science.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and we never will, and we never will, except we will today.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm I'm thinking that okay.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's my weakest subject, that's true.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I want to talk about well, the story I'm gonna tell you today, you're gonna see that it's also my weakest subject, right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think something we can all agree on is that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's I think that's the one fact everybody retains, right?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's good.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, agreeing on that is all we need.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if we need more than that, but I was thinking lately about science fairs.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: For no reason.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: It just came in my head.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the that's the only thing.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I was thinking about the science fairs we had in elementary school.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was reminded of a project I did, and I again I can't uh state enough how badly I did in the sciences.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's really bad.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the memory I'm thinking of here is maybe grade, I want to say grade seven or eight is what I'm thinking.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and people are, you know, we had to think of our own topic.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Students are thinking of all sorts of really cool things.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Someone's I'm getting mad thinking about this, by the way.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Just so you know.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: I hated science fair so bad.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, I'm supposed to think of an idea for an experiment.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck are you talking about?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there could be nothing less related to my daily life than experimenting scientifically.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: That and it's not, I understand it's the process of, you know, we're teaching people to come up with like a hypothesis about something.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: We're teaching people to gather necessary materials.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's a whole range of things that we're trying to teach in this.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: But the bottom line is I was bad at science and I didn't care about it, was the other part.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's a rough combo, right?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a rough combo.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't even, I couldn't even really fake my way through it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I did, I did it grade seven or eight science fair.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: And there probably was a lot of help from my teacher coming up with a topic.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we took some really low-hanging fruit.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like to me, even at the time, I was like, I think this might be this might be because she thinks I'm dumb.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she might think I'm dumb, and that's why we're doing this, right?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this was my favorite teacher up to this point, and well beyond, actually.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: My favorite teacher at the time was Mrs.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Flossman, and she was my grade seven and eight teacher.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: She actually, when we graduated, she was a special ed teacher.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: She was a special ed seventh and eighth teacher.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: She was always so nice to me.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: She cut up my food for me.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: She spoke so slowly and just so slowly, so I can understand.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: She said this science fair for you, Evelyn, is going to be more of an attendance thing.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you can have a chair and a table.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you can make a pretty looking Bristol board.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: She goes, she goes, uh, why don't you see how many, how many different drawings you can come up with on your light bright?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, the light bright.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I would have slayed that if that was like.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: If only that were science.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: If only that were science and not just necessarily like shape matching.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, that's not what I did.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what I did.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but Mrs.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Flosman, I wanted to do a really good job for her because she was my favorite teacher.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: So she taught me science and math.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Shoe tieing.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh shoe tieing.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was finally able to conquer.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Doors.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, doors.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: All kinds of doors.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Push pull.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like the you know, the world had really opened in front of me.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: The queen of the monitors.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: So okay, so science fair.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember that she had these pieces of uh metal.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, these these large pieces of metal.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't remember what came first, the metal that she offered to give me or the idea.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: It it really doesn't matter.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I named my project Rust Busters.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I decided that my whole science project would be based on what prevents rust on metal.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm sure this would have been probably like 94, sure.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: 93, 94, 95.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: There were probably already many products on the market that would prevent rust.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: No, we were helpless against it at the time.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: You may recall everything was rusted in the early mid 90s.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna fix that.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna fix that problem.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what's gonna fix rust?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: The one that really sticks out to me.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: So sorry, let me back up a little bit here.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: I had these rectangles of metal, and I remember I remembered putting various things on them, right?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Substances on them.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And seeing if that would what?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Blow.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I didn't have access to that in in wood.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Calm down.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I would I these I you know, you put water on them and then I put other stuff on them, and I wanted to see what would what would prevent the rust from forming.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't remember how long the science project lasted.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it would have been long enough in hindsight for rust to actually start.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't like this.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I would say you were like, guess what?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: All of these prevented rust.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're gonna laugh when you hear what I put on the pieces of metal to determine if rust.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, hold your judgment because maybe there's an untapped market at Sephora of things that can prevent rust, which is, you know, I think really helpful for the Have you been to a Sephora?
• 8:38
  unknown: Yes.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what they sell?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: They don't, it's not about rust at all.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know, but I know what I put on the metal.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it could have been bought from Sephora.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I want to ask you first.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you wanted to prevent rust on something, like what kinds of things would you think of putting on there?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Wax.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Would you think of lipstick?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I would not think of lipstick.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, I would not.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think it goes on your lips.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever seen someone with rusty lips, though?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh oh.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: If we were if this was a United States on United States podcast, I would say your mom.
• 9:15
  unknown: Oh.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: But I know that's not how the Canadians roll.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Canadians don't roll with that.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: You're right.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Your dad?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like how do you all how do y'all play the dozens in Canada?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we just we just call someone an American.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, burn.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: Burn.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: I have not seen anybody with rusty lips.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: I have not.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then I that would lead me to believe that lipstick does prevent rust.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um so so I remember bright pink lipstick was uh something I smeared all over the side of one of those pieces of metal.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, something else I put on there was you know, uh, you know, in in the psychology world, we call that a cry for help.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Trust me, everything I did for this science fair was a cry for help.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I just like I couldn't have cried.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was hoarse from all of the cries for help.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was I was right, and I think it just got to a point where nobody could help me.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: I tried oil, I tried honey.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Honey was one I remember putting on there.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think if I could smear it, it went on that piece of metal.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if I could find it around the house, I really did not pick things that could have been used at an industrial level.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I thought, you know, what else?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: What else am I gonna do?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna go into my dad's shop.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: My dad had a shop with all sorts of things that would prevent rust from coming.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, probably um probably that whole that whole experiment would have just been resolved with a question for your father, right?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: But no, we don't talk to our dads in Canada.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: We don't get help from our dads for science fair in Canada.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we yeah, I you're right.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I could have I could have had one piece of metal with some spray on it.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Anti-rust spray.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you call it.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um that's probably exactly what you call it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Rust be gone.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I sat at that table and I owned it.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I owned that my project sucked and was really lame compared to other people who were doing things with actual math and actual science and you know, combining things and charting things.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I could have why didn't I grow a plant, Nick?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't I grow a plant?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Listen, I'm fully on your side here.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I just to if any of those other kids with the fully formed science experiments are listening, I would just like to say from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck your families.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what happened that made you able to do this.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like what happened there?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: You sat calm during the most devastating week of my school year.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oil pastels.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: That was another thing I put on there.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right on.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Did that work?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: That might be yeah.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember anymore.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um turns out everything protects from rust over a over a 36-hour period.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so I guess I have to say, yes, it did work.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: It did work.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: A mid-tier brand of oil pastels purchased in between.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, you actually you actually had a control group where you soaked the metal in water and it didn't rust, which meant that in fact, actually, you found that rust was impossible to create.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: Rust rust was a myth.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I proved it in 1994.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I you know, thank you.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want any accolades.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want my name attached to this.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: I just want the I just want I just want the people to be free.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: I do it for my community, of course.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Free from the burden of rust.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: The tyranny of rust.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: The tyranny of rust.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, Nick, my question for you is tell me about a time in your life that you experimented with something and it may have gone well or it may not have gone well.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good that's a good prompt.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: Let me give it some thoughts.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know if it's a good prompt, but it is a prompt.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that's I mean that that's all we need here.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: It feels like the prompt is tell me about an experiment that you've done in your life, because any experiment either goes well or doesn't go well.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well then let me reword it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let me reword it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's essentially what I want, but the way I worded it was really dumb.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, Nick, the qu my question for you, Nick, is I'm gonna say it without saying your name twice.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm leaving that in there.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, Nick, my question for you, Nick, is Nick, what tell me about an experiment you have done in your life.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if it involved lipstick and oil pastels, bonus marks.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh uh.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's funny that I wouldn't have thought of this until you mentioned it, but we had a um when I was in high school, and you know, I grew up in the South in the United States, um, and homophobia was right at the top of everybody's minds uh back then.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I I so I don't know if this is a totally satisfying answer to this question, but you said with lipstick, I cross-dressed to school a handful of times in my life.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: And one of them was when I was a junior, they did, they had some school spirit day or something, and each like year, 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th, we didn't have a 13th, had a different um had a different theme that they were assigned.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: And clearly some committee of students did this thing, and and the juniors, which I was, were cross-dress.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, fucking great, I'll cross-dress.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: I sort of enjoyed it, but even more so, I sort of enjoyed the response it got from people, which was virtually uh, I would say 80% negative, right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so I like with my sister's help, she was always very helpful with this.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: I got some, and I and mind you, at this time in my life, I had a full beard, like fuller than my beard is now.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's it's an ample beard.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's an ample beard.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: A lot going on.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's full.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: There's no patchiness over there.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: So my sister helped me with makeup, helped me with jewelry, uh, skirt, you know, we got the whole outfit together.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: The point of it was just to cross-dress, right?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: And and uh not to maybe to pass.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And right, I went and I was excited about it, and I was the only guy in the entire school who did it.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: And there was one girl who I never met before who came dressed as a guy, and I remember that she she was somebody I didn't know, and I remember she saw me and she gave me a like a compliment that I appreciated in the form of a look.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: But it was nice, it was a look I'm not accustomed to getting, and I appreciated it.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, yeah, it was like we both had the the thing.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: Every many, many other people were uh somewhere between confused and offended, which was, I guess, on some level, exactly what I was going for because I couldn't ever understand why this was such a big deal to people.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: And they'd just be like, man, why are you doing that?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you doing that?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, it's school spirit day.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why aren't you doing it?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: Which is funny, a little, a little disingenuous because that's the only school spirit thing that I like actively participated in enthusiastically in my whole time there.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: But they finally had one that that fit me.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: So that was an experiment that went exactly as I thought it would, which was um, I got about 20% positive response and about 80% negative response.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: That was something that I experimented with.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I I'm trying to think.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: It feels like there's probably been some grander experiment in my life.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: What are you thinking about?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, nothing.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just I probably looked, I probably had that like zoned out face.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: That zoned out Nick's telling a story face.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know it well.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: The zoned, the zoned out Ev's Ev's thinking of music theory.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: What clef would I put this to?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's what clef.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, guaranteed the F clef for sure.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, right?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's gotta be some other yeah, I know you gotta have something.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think of the story you told about the cookies that you've talked on here about with the Doritos.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that was horrifying.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a terrible experiment.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't so much an experiment as it was a a dare or a challenge.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is that right?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: That was a dare, yes.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean it was an experiment.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't know how it was gonna turn out.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: We did have hypotheses, yeah.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: And then we tested it and we had plenty of control in the form of the cookies that I made that didn't have gross chips in them, and then we had the ones we're experimenting on.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I'll tell you, I'm comfortable with a data set of one on that.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need anybody else to agree with me to know that those cookies were fucking disgusting.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty gross.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think Amber told me that they turned out blue for something.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: They did, although what she reminded me, because I remember that too, what she reminded me was that I food colored them and I didn't know it at the time.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I thought I was like, no, it must have been the Cool Ranch seasoning, and she said, No, you actively added blue food coloring into them, which sounds like some shit I would do.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it does.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really does.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think too, about like you conduct experiments all the time because you enjoy uh playing poker.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's true, right?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Those are experiments all the time, and it's very calculated from what I gather from what you say.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's very, very interesting to look at that from an experimental standpoint.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that that's because there's a lot of variables you can control and cannot control.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a real just a test environment through and through.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you, an experiment that I perform consistently is I like to say something that I know is gonna get somebody's goat.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you really that they're gonna be helpless against.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I like to warn somebody next to me quietly, like, hey, watch this.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn, there's no way a bassoon is considered a legitimate woodwind, right?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it's uh clearly a brass instrument uh masquerading a I mean that's not a great example, but something that would really upset you.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, and then you do love doing that.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: You really love doing that, and I have learned, so if you are the wet piece of scrap metal roaming around, the best oil pastel, one might say, needs to involve not getting flustered and not buying in.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the problem.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the problem with you, Nick, is that you are so convincing and over text, I can't tell anymore.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Indistinguishable, isn't that?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Indistinguishable.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: I will say the amount of times you put something in a text and it's a gamble, it's another experiment for me.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna, how am I gonna respond to this?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna call, am I gonna call as bluff?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna buy in?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because part of me is like, do I wanna be right or do I want you to have fun?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's just, I just let it happen.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's toss-up, yeah.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: It is a toss-up.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I finally thought of a a good experiment because I do shit like this all the time.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: I do it less.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And it's funny that I am in the career that I'm in where I am so kind and candid and honest with people and not manipulative because I'm so, so manipulative in the other parts of my life.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: It work is almost like an in like a an integrity break uh for me.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I did this thing when I was in college.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: I had the, I was an RA, as you know, I was King Narc of Narcville.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: And in on my narc staff, uh, there was a uh an adult who ran the building.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: And in retrospect, I think she was 23 or 24.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like the person who's like an adult then, but of course, is actually just a child in charge of other children, like a real, a real boxcar children situation at the dorms with way more booze, right?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Lord of the flies.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Lord of the Flies, exactly.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I roll in, my glasses are shattered, and uh and she starts the meeting, and she's not aware of how little we all respect her.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: We just don't respect her.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: She's awful, she's a terrible boss, she's kind of a moron.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm sitting at this table and she asks us to share something new that happened to us this week.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, I won$200 in a scratcher, and I've decided to get a tattoo.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I know the tattoo, what it's gonna be of.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be all the way across my back, and it's gonna be a guitar and a gun across like an X.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I already know what kind of guitar I'm gonna get.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a, you know, and then I made up a bunch of guitar stats, like you know, a 71 telecaster with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: I just don't know what kind of gun to get.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: Does anybody have any ideas for what gun I should get on this tattoo?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: And everybody on staff knew I was bullshitting, and my boss totally didn't.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I could tell she was kind of horrified, but also trying to play ball.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm just walking around the tables, getting everybody to spitball what kind of gun I should have.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: I had no tattoos.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: I still have no tattoos.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: And the notion was I was gonna get a full piece across my back of a guitar and gun.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: And it went on for 20 minutes.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if I ever told her the the truth on that.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: That might have been one that I just let sit.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: And she bought it.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And she bought it.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the troll of the century would be if you ever saw her again, if you ever knew that was coming up for whatever reason, you'd have to get the world's best fake tattoo on your back.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see if I can find her.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: We got a minute here.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: You can always cut this, but you can always cut this out.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: See, here's the thing.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna talk while Nick's on his phone again, just so everyone knows.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I am gonna tell you that I have been on the receiving end of things like that before.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it really does kind of mess you up a little bit.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and sometimes here's the thing.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Do wait, did you find her?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm I'm okay.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because if that's kind of a common name, so I'm sort of problematic.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: We'll tell you what, if you find her, you send me a picture of your back, and I'm going to Photoshop a tattoo on it.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're gonna put it as your LinkedIn profile photo.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's all I want.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's it's just for people to know me in that way.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I'm sorry, what were you saying?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: It is hard sometimes to tell what is photography.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Funny and what is hurtful.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And you, you really get so close to that line.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: So very, very close.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like the moment you would know something's hurtful, especially if it's to someone you care about, you would be mortified.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I guess maybe I'm just projecting something that I hopefully get to experience someday.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds like you're trying to dream out loud.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think I think I am.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's always worth shooting my shot.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I I dated a guy that I've referred to on this podcast a few times who I was living with at some point and would often do those kinds of things to me.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I would never know if it was real or not.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: He came home from a job interview once when we were still in university, and I asked how the job interview was.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: And he told me that it was really weird because he went to the store and met with the manager and they started flirting.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: And they went back into the storage room and ended up having sex in the warehouse.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it was so convincingly told to me.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Now, mind you, I was also in love with this person.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I couldn't understand what I was hearing.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it was so convincingly told without a hint of it being a lie.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was all of a sudden the reveal came, and I couldn't believe that he could tell a lie that effortlessly.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the first lie he told you was that he was lovable.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Fair.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I had convinced myself of that already anyway.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't need to, right?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I I sometimes fucking crazy.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, he has to be gauging your reaction.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: See, this is the thing.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like on some level, I assume you were tearing up.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: I assume you were visibly disturbed.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was in shock, yeah.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: At a certain point, when you see these things start to happen, you pull back.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're a real monster, then you go even further.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you push the pedal a bit farther.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, what a what a sad gross story.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: About your sad gross ex.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um what a what a foul little man.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: What a foul.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's so funny.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, um, I think your experiments sound much, much better.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: And at least you you can at least you can read the room.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the best part of this whole story is that you know when to pull back, but you also know when to commit on school spirit day by dressing up in drag.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: I I think the theme of this is judgment.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: If you have judgment, you don't need science.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: Folks, you know what?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: That harkens back to my church upbringing.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you, everyone.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we love you.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: If you have science, use it, but if not, use your judgment.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Please forgive the United States uh and keep apologizing to each other.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: And don't have sex with the manager that's trying to interview for a job.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, make them work for it, for God's sakes.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, come on.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Don't do it in the interview.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: That guy has a train wreck.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: We should have a whole podcast about him.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, we love you.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you next time.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Some neighbors are besties, others quarrel bitterly.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: Stuck together through geography.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse.