Latest / Enhance.training / Struggling With Boss – Transform Your Most Important Work Relationship
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Struggling with boss?
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: You might feel unappreciated or don't have their respect.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: The only feedback you get is critical.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: You don't know what they want, or you hardly speak to them.
- 0:12SPEAKER_00: Maybe your most important work relationship has started to go downhill and you're not sure what to do.
- 0:19SPEAKER_00: Early in my career I had my worst boss ever.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: I didn't like him very much and very much felt undervalued, ignored and unappreciated.
- 0:28SPEAKER_00: I made a huge mistake, the worst mistake in boss relationships.
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: I just got on with my job and largely ignored the situation.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what to do and I really didn't understand the impact of a poor boss relationship would have on me.
- 0:43SPEAKER_00: Not proactively working to improve my relationship with my boss really came back to bite me.
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: I had to get another job.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: Don't make the mistakes that I did when struggling with manager relationships.
- 0:56SPEAKER_00: When you don't really have a relationship with your boss or things are not good with your boss, or they are starting to go downhill, the most important thing you can do is take action.
- 1:09SPEAKER_00: The worst thing is doing nothing.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: I have three critical actions for you to take to transform your most important relationship at work.
- 1:18SPEAKER_00: These are firstly be perceived by your boss as good at your job.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: I have five key tips to share to help you achieve this.
- 1:28SPEAKER_00: Secondly, overcommunicate in the right way.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: I take you through what to talk about and why.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: And third, find ways to reduce your boss's pain.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: These can be small actions all the way through to actions that literally double your bonus.
- 1:43SPEAKER_00: You can absolutely transform your most important work relationship.
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: It does take a bit of courage to take the first steps.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: I was fairly shy in my early 20s.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: I wasn't super confident, nor was I a great communicator.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: After my worst boss ever, I was determined to always have good relationships with any boss.
- 2:05SPEAKER_00: I didn't need them to like me, just view me as a valuable person to have on their team.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: One of the bosses I had to work with at this time was known to be difficult.
- 2:17SPEAKER_00: For the first month, she literally ignored my phone calls and emails.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: I didn't let that put me off though.
- 2:24SPEAKER_00: I kept trying to find her pain points and help remove them.
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: Eventually she started phoning me back and responding to my emails.
- 2:32SPEAKER_00: After six months, she was raving about me.
- 2:35SPEAKER_00: She had become one of my most vocal supporters.
- 2:39SPEAKER_00: You can have the same success.
- 2:42SPEAKER_00: Take action and keep at it until you win them over.
- 2:46SPEAKER_00: You can get respect even from painful, difficult and toxic bosses.
- 2:51SPEAKER_00: If you don't change what you do, you won't get a different outcome.
- 2:55SPEAKER_00: Commit to yourself to take action.
- 2:59SPEAKER_00: The first thing you must work on when struggling with your boss is to be perceived as good at your job.
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: The key word here is perceived.
- 3:08SPEAKER_00: I know a ton of people who are really good at their jobs, but their bosses don't really value them.
- 3:15SPEAKER_00: Creating the right perception is not about working extra hard.
- 3:20SPEAKER_00: Perception is about how you work and how you communicate what you achieve to your boss.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: If your boss doesn't know what you are doing, how can they value it?
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: If you don't explain the value of your work in terms of what matters to your boss, chances are they won't value it as much as they should do.
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: A common mistake in boss relationships.
- 3:42SPEAKER_00: A key action to being perceived as good at your job by your manager is ensuring you don't create problems for your manager.
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: For example, ensure firstly you don't miss deadlines.
- 3:54SPEAKER_00: If you can't avoid being late, warn your boss as early as possible.
- 3:58SPEAKER_00: Secondly, avoid submitting work with mistakes.
- 4:02SPEAKER_00: Always make the time to check through your work.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: Third, help your team members out so your boss doesn't have to step in to help them.
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: Fourth, take responsibility and ownership for your work so your boss doesn't need to chase you or check up on you all the time.
- 4:18SPEAKER_00: And fifth, cultivate a positive team-oriented attitude.
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: A can-do attitude is so much easier to work with as a boss compared to a I can't because attitude.
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: Cultivating this perception is hugely helpful to improve your relationship with your boss, no matter where it is right now.
- 4:46SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles.
- 4:48SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, enhance.training provides resources and courses for you to build management expertise and confidence to lead any team to their best performance.
- 4:59SPEAKER_00: I coach managers and leaders on improving their relationships with bosses and colleagues, to be more effective in their jobs, to gain more enjoyment from being at work and to move their careers forward that much quicker.
- 5:13SPEAKER_00: Visit us at enhance.training to learn more about this.
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: The second action you must take with any boss is to over-communicate in the right way.
- 5:24SPEAKER_00: Your boss can only appreciate what they know about and understand.
- 5:28SPEAKER_00: When a relationship with a boss starts down heading downhill, it is really easy to withdraw and communicate less.
- 5:36SPEAKER_00: This is a very natural reaction.
- 5:39SPEAKER_00: You must fight this reaction and do the opposite.
- 5:42SPEAKER_00: Relationships are about communication.
- 5:44SPEAKER_00: The worse your communication, the worse your relationship becomes in general terms.
- 5:50SPEAKER_00: I coach a lot of senior managers and leaders to improve their relationships with bosses, with other board members, and with their own team members.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: A high-performing senior manager's relationship with his boss had hit rock bottom.
- 6:04SPEAKER_00: The manager was looking for other jobs and was really unhappy.
- 6:07SPEAKER_00: I asked him how many times he spoke to his boss.
- 6:11SPEAKER_00: They spoke about once every other week, sometimes less often.
- 6:15SPEAKER_00: These meetings were difficult, energy draining, and demoralizing.
- 6:20SPEAKER_00: The manager felt his boss only criticized him, which pushed him to want to communicate less.
- 6:26SPEAKER_00: The manager agreed a plan with me which involved speaking face to face with his boss at least twice a week.
- 6:34SPEAKER_00: An increase in communication of at least four times.
- 6:37SPEAKER_00: He also worked on his style of communication to make it more open and informative so there were no surprises for his boss.
- 6:45SPEAKER_00: In the next coaching session, about four weeks later, the manager had a huge smile on his face, looked a lot happier, more relaxed, and came across as a lot more positive.
- 6:56SPEAKER_00: The relationship with his manager had improved dramatically in a short space of time, despite being poor for over a year.
- 7:04SPEAKER_00: Work at communicating with your boss.
- 7:06SPEAKER_00: They should know what you're doing and the key projects or activities that you are working on and why.
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: If you're not speaking to your boss at least twice a week, increase the effort you put in to get face-to-face time.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: If they don't want to book meetings in, pop around to their desk to chat.
- 7:24SPEAKER_00: If they're busy, go see them before 9am or after 5pm or when they're less busy.
- 7:30SPEAKER_00: If they work in different offices, book in video calls.
- 7:34SPEAKER_00: If they're hard to get hold of in that way, send them an email summary every other day.
- 7:39SPEAKER_00: When you are communicating, don't run down a long list of everything that you're doing.
- 7:45SPEAKER_00: Pick out the most important tasks, activities and projects and report on progress towards goals or completion.
- 7:52SPEAKER_00: Update by exception.
- 7:54SPEAKER_00: Update on what has changed since your last email or chat.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: Be respectful of their time.
- 8:01SPEAKER_00: Above all, focus on communicating what matters to your boss most of all.
- 8:06SPEAKER_00: Lastly, the most important action to really transform your relationship with your boss.
- 8:11SPEAKER_00: Find ways to reduce your boss's pain.
- 8:15SPEAKER_00: One of the best ways I know to get your boss's attention and appreciation is to reduce the pain they feel.
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: Bosses will value your efforts a lot more when you take away painful problems so they don't have to deal with them.
- 8:30SPEAKER_00: Or you deliver results or outcomes that your boss really wants.
- 8:34SPEAKER_00: In practice, this is a lot easier to do than many people think, and removing small pains are noticed, especially when you remove quite a few of them.
- 8:45SPEAKER_00: To have success in removing your boss's pain points, you have to know what these pain points are.
- 8:51SPEAKER_00: Find out what your boss needs.
- 8:53SPEAKER_00: What are they working on?
- 8:55SPEAKER_00: What are they talking about and asking about?
- 8:58SPEAKER_00: If you're not sure, just ask your boss directly.
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: Other options are looking at team objectives or speaking to team members to find out what problems they are experiencing and which have an impact on your boss.
- 9:11SPEAKER_00: Think about what you can do to help.
- 9:14SPEAKER_00: Can you create a solution so your boss doesn't have to?
- 9:17SPEAKER_00: Are you able to get team members together and organize the implementation of a solution?
- 9:23SPEAKER_00: Can you help improve communication across the team so your boss doesn't have to do as much?
- 9:28SPEAKER_00: Are you able to secure resources that team members need to hit team targets so your boss doesn't have to?
- 9:35SPEAKER_00: What information and insights from other areas in the business would your boss find useful?
- 9:40SPEAKER_00: Gossip and feelings in the team can be as valuable as what projects are happening elsewhere.
- 9:46SPEAKER_00: Think through what problems you can take on and solve so your boss doesn't have to do the work instead.
- 9:52SPEAKER_00: This is a great place to start if you're not getting on with your boss.
- 9:57SPEAKER_00: Removing pain is an amazing way to help any boss and they will love you for it.
- 10:02SPEAKER_00: An incredibly valuable and effective way to transform your most important relationship at work.
- 10:09SPEAKER_00: So, in summary, if you're struggling with boss relationships, have problems with your boss, or you don't know where to start to build a trusting and valued relationship with your boss, start by looking at what you do and how it is valuable to helping your boss achieve their goals.
- 10:26SPEAKER_00: Or how you can help them avoid pitfalls or pain points or problems.
- 10:31SPEAKER_00: Communicate what you do, the tasks, activities, and projects you're working on in terms of how you are helping your boss achieve their goals or avoid pain or problems.
- 10:42SPEAKER_00: Think of providing updates and align your language and how you position your updates to what matters to your boss.
- 10:49SPEAKER_00: Lastly, make the time to find out about and think through current pain points for your boss.
- 10:56SPEAKER_00: What can you do to remove this pain or problem before your boss has to deal with it?
- 11:02SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to communicate what you have done to your boss as well.
- 11:06SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling to improve your relationship with bosses, peers or team members, then visit us at enhance.training and get in touch by sending an email to support at enhance.training.
- 11:17SPEAKER_00: If you have managers and leaders in your business that are struggling with boss relationships or relationships with other colleagues, please get in touch to discuss the steps to improve those relationships.
- 11:27SPEAKER_00: Send me an email at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
- 11:31SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions on struggling with boss, transform your most important work relationship.
- 11:37SPEAKER_00: Please email me at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
- 11:42SPEAKER_00: Thanks very much for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.