Latest / ok storytime / My best man STOLE my wife…now he's creeping back into my new relationship! -r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP3078

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My best man STOLE my wife…now he's creeping back into my new relationship! -r/relationship_advice | Reddit Stories | EP3078 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ayo, it's Riley here.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Before we get into these wild stories, we have a
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: My best man stole my wife. Now he's creeping back
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: into my new relationship.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: That's now your worst man.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Six years ago, I, 30 male, was getting married. My
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: best friend, 31 male, Judas, was my best man.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Makes sense.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: I was getting married to Leah, 30 female. Our friend
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: group was very, very close. There are eight to nine
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: of us, and we always did everything together.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Days out, game nights, holidays, etc.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I guess Judas just wanted to do your wife, too.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wait, it is like a severe form. Severe form
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: of PMS. Yeah, yeah, and there is a name for it, Hannah. Oh,
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: the U.S.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Won. Suck it, Australians.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: And I won either way.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Shut up. I won either way.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Wrong.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Anytime a friend would bring another female friend into the group,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Judas would end up hooking up with them first.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Judas.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Judas.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Judas, not again.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: He was genuinely just naturally very funny and charismatic, which
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: is a big part as to why he's everyone's best man.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: But he was never a threat to our relationships because
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: we were all such good friends. Just over a year
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: into our marriage, Lee and I start having issues. I'm
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: in the army, so I'm at camp through the week,
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: returning home Friday evenings and leaving again early Monday mornings.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: This meant we only really got weekends together, and I'd
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: always want to spend them with the group, and she'd
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: mostly want alone time, just the two of us, as
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: she will have seen the group through the week.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: This, amongst other.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Things, caused a lot of arguments, and we ended up separating.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from DrAnonymous15, and if you
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: want to spend your own stories, go to the r
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: slash ok story time subreddit.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, and we're here.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: To give some good advice goofily, but we don't got
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: all the answers. We'd only tell you what we would do,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: but let us know what you would do down in
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: the comments. As OP says, While all this was going on,
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: two of our friends, Judas' cousin Andrew, 29 male, and
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: his fiancée Phoebe, 29 female, were three days away from
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: their wedding day, Judas of course being his best man too.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: when Andrew confessed to Phoebe that he had been cheating
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: on her with a co-worker for six months so they
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: could not go ahead with the wedding. On what would
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: have been their wedding day, a couple of us went
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: to Phoebe's for drinks to take her mind off everything,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: and her and Judas slept together. Worst best man ever!
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Those two had always been very close, to be fair,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: but we were all very surprised finding out.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: They apparently... Leah did.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: It a few more times over the next month before
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: deciding to end all that. While Leah and I were separated,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I'd still be trying my best to resolve things and
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: work it all out. But she was slowly getting less
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: and less interested in the.
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: Idea of us.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Hmm, oh gee, I wonder why.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I later found out this was because she was spending
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: all her time with Judas. They had gotten into a
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: relationship and he was basically living in the house I
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: was paying half the mortgage for.
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: Worst best man ever.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Just call him worst man ever.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: When I found this out, I angrily text him, you're
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: passed away to me. To which he replied solely with
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: an image of the word goodbye highlighted on a Ouija board. Naturally,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Leah and I went through the whole divorce process and
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: her and Judas were happy in their relationship.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Until he cheats again.
• 3:29
  Speaker 6: Yep.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Gotta do it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Judas, Leah, and Andrew were all out of our little
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: friend group. The rest of us went to celebrate when
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: the divorce had finalized, and Phoebe and I ended.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Up hooking up.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: Fast forward to now. Phoebe and I have been in
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: a relationship for three years now. Oh, Andrew has gotten married.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: He actually made it to the altar this time, and yes,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Judas was his best man.
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: Still?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Dude, that's crazy.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Andrew, the idiot, is what I should write. So who
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: knows what's going to happen down the line with the
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: worst best man and Andrew's new wife. Another point that
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: was skipped over, Judas and Andrew are cousins, so they
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: were always going to remain friendly and take each other's sides. Yesterday,
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I wanted to surprise Phoebe. I set off to camp
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: early Monday morning like I always do, except I've booked
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: this week off in secret. I waited for her to
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: go to work, and then I came back to decorate
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: the bedroom with flowers, her favorite chocolates, etc. I park
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: my car a block away, and she doesn't know I'm home.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: When she comes home, I surprise her, but I see
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: that she's on FaceTime. I'm 90% sure the face I
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: see is Judas's, but she's very quick to end the call.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Early in our relationship, she drunkenly confessed to me that
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: she thought her and Judas would have ended up together
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: after what would have been her wedding night and that
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: she was sad when he ended up calling that off
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: for Leah. Uh, so my heart sank. She told me
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: it was just her brother on the phone, but I
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: don't believe her.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Let me see the call log.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: I also surprised her with a trip to Disneyland she's
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: always wanted to go in the near future where I
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: had planned to propose, but now I'm unsure if I
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: should go through with this if Judas was managing to
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: worm his way back into her life. I need help.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: I don't know what to do.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I've been at my parents' awake all night and I'm
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: dreading going back home to have a conversation. Do I
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: confront her on this or go ahead with the planned
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: trip and proposal and feign ignorance for a happy life? Update,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: I am from the UK. When I refer to camp,
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I literally just mean base. I don't have to stay
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: there for the whole week, but it is a 90-minute,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: two-hour drive back home. I know that doesn't seem far
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: to you Americans, as you have to drive two hours
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: to get off your streets, but it's long for me.
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: Okay. Okay.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Why did we bring in the Americans?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: What do we do, huh?
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: Just sitting here.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Sorry. You're just mad, Judas. We won 250 years ago.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: You're still mad about it?
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Nobody remained friends with Judas. Him, Leah, and Andrew all
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: left the group around the time Judas and Leah's relationship
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: was public knowledge. When I wanted to spend time with
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: the friend group, Leah would have been there too, so
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I wasn't completely neglecting her. Judas kept his teeth because
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I literally have not seen him even once since I
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: found out. I didn't immediately demand to see her phone
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: to check the FaceTime because I panicked. I went into
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: fight or flight and clearly chose flight, not really what
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: you want from a man supposed to defend your country,
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: but hey.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: That's true. Anyway, back to it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: After leaving and going to my mom's, Phoebe had been
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: messaging and trying to call, basically just asking to explain herself.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: I said I'd be back later. After posting on here
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: and reading and replying for a while, I managed to
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: get some sleep. I'd been up all night. First thing
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I did when I woke up was call Phoebe's brother,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: explain to him my plan to propose purely so he
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: could be the one to break that to her when
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: I chose to leave her. I also asked if he
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: had been in contact with her recently. He said no.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: The FaceTime couldn't have been with him then. I get
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: back home, ready with everything I need to say, ready
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: to call Phoebe out on her BS, but before I
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: can speak, she hands me her phone, tells me I
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: can look through, that she's deleted nothing, and that she'd
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: like to talk and explain rather than shout and argue.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: There's nothing in the FaceTime calls, but in her regular
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: call logs, there's a Snapchat video call from Judas. I
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: was kind of relieved that I wasn't just being a
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: paranoid mess, but... Obviously, my heart sank. She said that
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Snapchat was the only place she could find him because
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: he was in her blocked list, so she just unblocked him.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: Sounds to me like Phoebe was the one that had
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: gone looking to contact Judas. I read through a bunch
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: of the saved messages on there. To be fair, it
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: was mostly just boring chit-chat and talking about musicals. Stopped
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: reading when I got to a message from Phoebe to
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: Judas saying, I miss you. Clicked on his profile to
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: delete and block him from her and saw at the
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: bottom of that page when they became friends on there.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: It was dated just a week before. So at least
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: they haven't been talking again for very long, I guess.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: What also caught my eye was in the saved pictures.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: There was a picture of her feet. Phoebe claims that's
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: from a long, long time ago. Apparently Snapchat still saves
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: all the previous saved pictures when you unblock someone. Does
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: anyone know if that's actually true? It is. I'm not
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: too familiar with it. Either way, I deleted it and
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: blocked him from her. Then she explained that she only
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: re-added Judas because she was feeling lonely with me away
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: four nights a week and she just needed a friend.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know why her current friends weren't good enough
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: for that, but whatever. She was making all the same
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: complaints my ex-wife had been making before we separated.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: So now what do we do?
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: I'm breaking up with Phoebe. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm breaking
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: up with Phoebe. O.P., Two relationships, I mean, you being
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: in the army or the military doing your service has
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: been doing you a disservice. You go there four nights
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: a week. I feel like that's causing a lot of
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: problems with your relationships. Albeit, sure, they're also hitting up
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Judas very bad. I think you need to have a
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: conversation with them and try and figure that out on maintaining...
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: maybe less time going to the base or the camp,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: but also Phoebe, Phoebe's excuses are not good excuses. She
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: got caught. I would, uh, I would break up. I, yeah,
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: It just seems OP.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like anyone in the story has like healed.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: It seems like everyone is just kind of like, Oh.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: La la la.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Like we're, you know, this didn't, uh, This didn't work out.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I'm going to go to my other friend.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Like, everyone just kind of swapped. Yeah, why are we
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: homie hopping?
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone just swapped.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I know it's not a good term.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: Homie hopping.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: But we're homie hopping.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Why are we hopping with our homies? Why can't we make,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know, relationships outside of this friend group?
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: I think you need to meet a nice girl that
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: is outside of this friend group.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I think you get one homie.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I think you get one homie.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: You get one homie. If that doesn't work out, you
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: got to go outside.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: And it stinks because it's not your fault that these
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: girls can't handle like being independent, like having those four days.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: without you and then like going into a spiral being
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: like i need more attention i need more attention some
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: people do need more attention and that's fine but like.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: She needs to have that conversation with you yes not
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: with judas.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yes and also the fact that she like kept that
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: from you Red flag. That was the reason that you...
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: He is the reason that all of this has happened.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: So the fact that she's going behind your back and
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: sneaking calls with him and whatnot.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: I.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Wouldn't trust her.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: Truthfully, I wouldn't.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I guess that proposal at Disneyland? No longer happening. Sorry.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I've told her for this to work, she needs to
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: keep Judas out of our lives. I've told her I'll
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: look for work outside of the army and leave. I'm
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: a mechanic there, so I assume I can find work
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: in a garage or something easy enough. We spent the
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: week together and it was fine. I'm now currently back
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: at base, and I'm deciding on if I follow through
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: on that promise to leave and look for work elsewhere,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: or if I completely jump ship and literally just move
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: elsewhere in the country, probably still look for work as
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: a mechanic somewhere too, start brand new, and not have
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: my career keep costing me relationships.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: I know, and that's what stinks.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I like that one. That's a good one.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: But the thing is, that's like his career.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: That's what he wants to do.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: And now, like, there has to be someone out there
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: That can handle you doing your career and being in
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: a relationship with them. Truly. It has to be.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: But it doesn't seem like it in this town.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: It's just, it's so frustrating because that's how I feel too,
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: like doing my career and then also having a relationship,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: like it's really hard. Yeah. And I've always chosen my,
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: or not relationship, sorry. I've always chosen my career over relationships,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: but that's just the way that I'm, I've been like
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: raised to do.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Opie, but you've seen, you've already been through
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: this one time. There's no need for you to go
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: through it again. You know? It's just not fair to you.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: It's not.
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: It sucks.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I just... I think breaking up is the best thing
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: to do because you're just gonna keep thinking about it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: It's true.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: And what if it happens again? You know?
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: She got caught with the worst person to talk to.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think in the long run... Because I think
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: that she still has feelings.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: Like, you guys really, like.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: You sat and talked, but it doesn't seem like it
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: really explained anything.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Unless you just didn't... That wasted truth bomb from Phoebe saying,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I thought Judas and I were gonna be together, but
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: he chose Leah over me. That's... She's still thinking about him, obviously.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she still is. That's why it's like, it's not fair.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Like, you should have a partner who only thinks about
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: you and not wants to, like, because you're away... now
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: wants to know, or now wants to be with someone
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: else while you're away.
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: That's not, that's not fair. That's not what you do. And,
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: and also the.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Fact that she's okay with doing that when that's literally
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: what happened in your last relationship.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: Like, this guy is still meddling.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Like, now.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: You gotta, I think, honestly, start over. Brand new.
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: Go do what you want. I don't know.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: A-Gal plans to propose but finds evidence of pee-pee contacting humans.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Why is it A-Gal? Look at that.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: A-Gal.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look at that. A-Gal, you made it into the TLDR.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: You made it into the TLDR.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: What?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. I fixed my friend's
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: car for free. Then her girlfriend accused me of trying
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: to seduce her.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: What? Wrong.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: My 26 female friends, 30 female car, side mirror was
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: broken for two months. Since a mechanic was going to
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: charge her $ 500... I offered to replace the mirror for free.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Good friend. She agreed and thanked me. So I told
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: her to follow me home from work and I'd put
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: it on for her. It only took me about 15
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: minutes to replace. I finish and my friend comes inside
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: to chat. The whole time, her girlfriend, Karen, 25 female,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: is blowing up her phone. She seemed upset. So I ask,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: is Karen mad that I'm doing this for you or something?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: My friend tells me, she thinks it's inappropriate. Confused, I ask.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: She thinks it's inappropriate that I'm helping you? She says,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know, and I asked why. She then goes
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: on to tell me that Karen is afraid I'm going
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: to try to make a move on her, and that
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: a few weeks ago when I said I'd order the
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: mirror and replace it for free, Karen got pissed off
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: when she found out and told my friend, tell her no,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: she's not doing that, which my friend never told me no.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: They fought about it pretty bad, and now that I've
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: fixed the mirror, it has become a bigger fight. She
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: accused me of trying to seduce my friend by doing
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: this for her? By the way, this comes from user Notomatio7780.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. Look at us.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: We're goofballs.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: That was scary. That frightened me.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: See?
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: We don't know everything. We only know what we do.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you do in the comments
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: down below. As Opie says, Karen and my friend have
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: been dating for almost... Two years.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Two bad years, clearly.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Karen has joined almost all of our hangouts and parties
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: that I've hosted. She has even joined our friend group
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: on vacations since they started dating. I buy her birthday gifts,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Christmas presents, and always include her in our plans. Karen
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: has been insecure about me and my friend's relationship, which
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I have noticed, and I have tried extra hard to
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: be sure to include her in everything because I want
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: her to feel comfortable with me too. I'd always hope
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: that once she got to know me a little better,
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: she would realize she had nothing to worry about. We
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: took a trip for my birthday, and that's when things
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: took a turn. Karen purposely spilt a bottle of adult
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: soda in my friend's lap when they were singing happy birthday?
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Karen locked me out of my room on the night
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: of my birthday after everyone had gone to sleep? and
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: locked me out of the cabin the following day. Karen
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: complained that she wanted the bed I was sleeping in,
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: so I switched beds with her. Why?
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: OP, stop.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: She also hid my personal items that I had in
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: the room that we were sharing.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: After the trip, things only got worse.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: How?
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: She started messing with things in my home.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: OP.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, man.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Ah.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: I just don't understand why we're letting any of this slide.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: For two years. This has been happening for two years.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I wonder how bad it is for OP's friend. If
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: this is bad for OP.
• 16:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: How bad is it for OP's friend?
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: I don't understand why we're letting any of this slide.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: OP, the first one, like the spilling of the drink,
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: accidents happen. Locking you out, one time, accidents happen. Two times,
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: she don't like you. And I'm confronting her. Yeah. Or
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: confronting my friend.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: I'm confronting friend because Karen seems awful.
• 16:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: I'm saying, hey, friend, I'm not going to comment on
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: your relationship.
• 16:54
  Speaker 8: I'm not going to tell you what to do, but
• 16:56
  Speaker 8: I am going to tell you that it's pretty unacceptable
• 16:59
  Speaker 8: how Karen's treating me.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Holy crap. I read the next sentence.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, read it, read it, read it.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Karen even unscrewed the pipe to my toilet and made
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: it leak water all over the floor at one of
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: my gatherings. Last month, she blocked me on all social
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: media and has completely stopped talking to me. All of
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: this has been unprovoked, and I haven't told my friend
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: any of this because I didn't want it to strain
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: their relationship. Stupid. Stupid.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: Stupid. Wake up.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: OP continues, me fixing my friend's door is nothing out
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: of the ordinary. I've done things like this for her
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: and for my other friends for years. I was raised
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: that if you have the means to help those you
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: care about, then you help them. I was just genuinely
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: trying to do a favor for my friend and save
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: her some money. Am I the butt face? You're the
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: butt face for not telling her the truth about Karen.
• 17:42
  Speaker 8: Yes, you're the butt face because you keep hiding all
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: of your grievances and you're like, why aren't.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: They being fixed?
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: OP, you not talking to... You helping your friends... That's
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: totally separate from Karen being a terrible person.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: She sucks so bad, and you're letting her get away
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: with it.
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Why? Editors, put that gif of Mario Lopez from that
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: one show back in the 90s where he walks down
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: the stairs and goes, stupid.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: Stupid. That's you.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's... Stupid. That's the end of that story, though.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: My friend begged me to stay longer with her, then
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: threw me out a day later.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: You're sending me mixed signals.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I have a friend who lives in a city I
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: visited multiple times before. Every previous time, I stayed in hotels.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I never asked to stay at her place and never
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: assumed I would. I originally booked a trip to her
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: city because there was a concert I wanted to attend.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: I mentioned it to her months ago, not trying to
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: ask to stay, but because she lives there and I
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: believed it was socially expected to let a friend know
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I'd be in town. Last week, before the trip, I
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: messaged her that I was coming. At that point, I
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: still had a hotel booked. She immediately asked, would you
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: like to stay at my place? She had Also brought
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: up the idea of me staying with her before. So
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: this did not feel like a random or insincere request.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: The first time was during a casual online conversation where
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: she was showing me things she had bought from a
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: local market. I said her city seemed like a great
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: place and replied along the lines of, Definitely. You should
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: visit more often. You can stay with me. Another time
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: after she went through a breakup, she was calling me
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: almost every evening for support. During one call, she said
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: she felt sad without friends around, opened Google Flights, and
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: suggested I should come right away and stay with her,
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: though she dropped the idea when the last-minute flights were expensive.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: I did not treat that as a serious travel plan,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: but it was another time she had normalized the idea
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: of me staying with her. By the way, this comes
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: from user Zynamite. And if you want to submit your
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you'd do in the comments
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: down below. Pretty please. As Opie says, a few days
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: before the actual trip, I was actually considering canceling the
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: trip because I hadn't secured a concert ticket. I started
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: texting her, basically asking how she was doing. And before
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I even got to the part about possibly canceling, she
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: asked how long I was staying. I told her I
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: might fly out on Thursday. She seemed surprised and said
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: something like, wow, you're not staying until the weekend? It's
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: so rare for us to see each other these days
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: and catch up. She then suggested weekend plans like making
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: pizza on Friday and taking me to a market and
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: a bar near her place on Saturday. Because she seemed
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: so excited to see me, I decided to make the
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: trip even without a concert ticket. At that point, the
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: trip became less about the concert and more about visiting
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: her and catching up as friends. I also have a
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: busy work schedule, so I rearranged work to make the
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: trip happen. My original flight was technically non-changeable, but because
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: there had been a minor schedule change, I had one
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: allowed flight change available. I asked her if it was
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: okay for me to rebook my return flight to Sunday afternoon.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: She was excited, and she said yes. So, I changed
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: the flight and cancelled my hotel. At that point, my
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: plans were no longer flexible. When I arrived, she was
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: at work but very responsive over text. She told me
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: how to get the keys, where to get water, and
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: said I could call her if she didn't respond by
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: text because she was working. She had prepared towels, told
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: me I could pack light, and even left sweets for
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: me on the kitchen counter. Basically, she seemed fully committed
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: to hosting me. Alright.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: So far, so good? Not seeing any bad signs?
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: No red flags or yellow lights flashing?
• 21:05
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I think we're going all green right now.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: Everyone's happy?
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: So, that first day, I left my suitcase at her
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: place and immediately went out for my other plans. So,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I hadn't even seen her yet. I was out late,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: running errands, exhausted, and I hadn't eaten dinner. I remember
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: texting other friends that I was tired but excited to
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: go back to my friend's place and finally catch up
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: with her. But before I could get back, I received
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: this text from her. She says, My parents were suddenly
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: furious that I invited a guy to stay with me
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: without telling them. Do you have other friends to stay
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: with in the city? Or, can we stick to the
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: original plan that you fly out Wednesday or Thursday?
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: How old is this girl?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: We don't have ages.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Presumably adult. Presumably an adult living on her own.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Let's say young adult. It could be 18 to early 20s.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm picturing right now.
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: Still crazy.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Does the title say it, Savannah, by chance? Um.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: The title does not say it, and there are no
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: ages as of right now. No numbers that I see.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: I do not see the numbers.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: All right. Well, I guess we don't have ages.
• 22:08
  Speaker 8: Well, I'm assuming that these are adults who are allowed
• 22:13
  Speaker 8: to tell their parents no or just not tell their
• 22:15
  Speaker 8: parents things.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: And also, I think you need to tell your friend, Opie.
• 22:22
  Speaker 8: You are the only person I can stay with, and
• 22:24
  Speaker 8: I changed my plans to stay.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: You offered me to stay here and said it was
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: cool for me to stay here.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: Are you able to pay for my flight or my, like, hotel?
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Why are you effing me? Opie continues saying... This caught
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: me completely off guard. She didn't start by explaining the
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: situation and asking to talk through a solution. She immediately
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: gave me two options. One, find someone else to stay
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: with or leave early. Also, the Wednesday or Thursday wording
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: bothered me because the original plan was Thursday. I had
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: never said Wednesday. Wednesday was the very next day. By
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: adding Wednesday or Thursday, it felt like she was blurring
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: the actual timeline and making it sound like as if
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: leaving the next day was already part of the original
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: plan when it absolutely was not. I didn't know how
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: to react in the moment, so I replied that I'd
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: try to look into it later, but that I couldn't
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: do much right now then because I was exhausted and
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I was still out. She replied along the lines of, OMG,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: that sounds exhausting. Anyway, my parents are furious. I'm panicking.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep. I'm so tired. I don't like you.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: What?
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: My parents are furious.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: Why did you tell them?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to help you figure this out, but
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: you have two options. Decide soon. Best of luck.
• 23:37
  Speaker 8: No, I'm responding... Uh, I don't have anywhere else to stay.
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: You asked me to stay longer.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: Talk to your parents. That's a you issue.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: What's up, Tom? Uh, is this why she broke up
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: with her partner? She's terrible at communicating?
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I think so.
• 23:56
  Speaker 8: So.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: When I got back to her place, she was already asleep,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: so we didn't get to talk. I'm getting in her
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: bed and going, hey.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: Wake up.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Wake up.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: Wake up. We're talking right now.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: We need to figure this out. You're helping me. You
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: told me to come here. I'm here. And now you
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: want me out? Help me. I also still haven't eaten.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Since she was asleep, I didn't want to make noise
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: in the kitchen. And honestly, after getting that text, I
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: had no energy to figure out anything. I ended up
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: lying awake hungry and searching for hotels and flights, not
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: knowing where I was supposed to stay the next day.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I talked to a few other friends that night. They
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: agreed it was a bad situation, but encouraged me to
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: stay calm and give her the benefit of the doubt.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Their advice was basically that she might just be panicking
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: and that we could talk it through the next morning.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Here comes the next morning.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Uh-oh. Uh-oh, maybe they talked it through.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Maybe she said, I'm just kidding.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Sorry.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: Don't know what was going through my head.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Here's some food, by the way. You look hungry. I'm
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: your host. The next morning, I heard her moving around
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: in the living room. I got up despite having slept
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: for barely a few hours because I thought this might
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: be our chance to talk. She could clearly see I
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: was exhausted and that I hadn't slept well. Instead of
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: bringing up the situation, she acted like nothing had happened
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: and asked, did you sleep well?
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: Why would you think that?
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Does it look like I slept well?
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Opie's looking like, no, no, I did not.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Opie said, no. She just said something like, oh, I see, smiled,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: said she was going to miss her office shuttle, and
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: then left. That was the whole exchange. About five minutes
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: later after, she ran out to catch the shuttle. Before
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I had sent any follow-up response to the previous night's text,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: she texted me, tell me what time you leave today.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: Oh, uh, so now I'm leaving Wednesday?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I'm telling, you know what? I'm like, because you haven't
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: helped me, I'm leaving tomorrow. I got nowhere else to go,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Paddington Bear.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: I have nowhere else to go.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Are you paying for my flights? That's what happens when
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: you give Savannah power. You give Savannah power, she'll take it.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Just like Paddington.
• 25:55
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: That was when it became clear to me that it
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: was not just a moment of panic that we were
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: going to calmly discuss. She's determined to have me leave
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: that day. called the airline to see if I could
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: move my existing flight back to that day, but they
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: refused because I had already used my one allowed change
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: when I rebooked to Sunday after confirming with her. I
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: tried escalating to a supervisor, but after about an hour
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: on the phone, there was still nothing they could do.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Since I didn't want to also spend that day figuring
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: out where I could stay that night, I bought a
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: new last minute flight for the same day. The afternoon
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: and evening flights were sold out, and the only available
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: flight was at noon with literally one seat left. I
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: booked it immediately and had to rearrange work again to
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: rush to the airport. In the end, I wasn't even
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: in the city for 24 hours. Across two days, I
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: spent most of my time either on planes, going to
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: or from airports, or dealing with flight logistics. All after
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: changing my original plans because she encouraged me to visit
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: and stay longer. After booking the new flight, I sent
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: her voice messages explaining how much trouble this sudden change
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: had caused me. I thought maybe she didn't understand how
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: inflexible my plans had become after I changed my flight
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: and canceled my hotel based on her confirmation. She said
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: she had not listened to my voice messages because she
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: was very busy at work. Ironically, I was also in
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: the middle of a work day, but had spent about
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: an hour on the phone with the airline. So hearing
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: that she was too busy even to listen to my
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: explanation felt ridiculously funny.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: Okay, I will say I.
• 27:23
  Speaker 8: Also find it hard to listen to voice messages when
• 27:26
  Speaker 8: I'm busy. Because you have to actually listen to them?
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: I sit and drop everything and listen to them.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: I want to hear my friends. I love them. When
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: you're working?
• 27:36
  Speaker 8: If you're working, it's just easier to read a text message.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Or a break. You get work breaks, don't you? Or
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: go to the bathroom. Especially something this urgent. I don't
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: know if my friend was with me. I just think
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: she sucks.
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she 100% sucks.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: So, then later, when she did, her responses really bothered me. First,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: she said, I'm glad you were able to change your flight,
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: but I had specifically explained that I was not able
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: to change my flight after a one-hour phone call. I
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: had to buy a completely new last-minute ticket because she
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: expected me to leave that day. Then, she said something like,
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: You came at a time when I'm super busy. Unfortunately,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I really had no time to accommodate your schedule or
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: your meals.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: You invited me.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Sending pictures of our chats where please stay longer. I
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: will take you out.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: This, that. Nothing was said about you being busy.
• 28:31
  Speaker 8: I'm literally just resending all of that and saying, hey,
• 28:35
  Speaker 8: this is like super unacceptable.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: Did I miss something? Yeah. I don't really want to
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: be friends with you anymore. Sorry.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Opie continues saying, Her response was basically, You should have
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: told me about the concert tickets sooner so that we
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: could figure it out together. But I wasn't asking her
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: to help me figure out concert tickets. I mentioned it
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: to explain that I had made the trip largely to
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: visit her. Finally, she said she wanted to host me well,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: but that I needed a better proactive communication. I'm going
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: scorched earth.
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: You know what?
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, I hate you. Block.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: You're done.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Seriously, she never actually gave me a real chance to talk.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: She went to sleep after sending the messages and avoided
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: discussing it the next morning. I mentioned the concert ticket, hunger,
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: and exhaustion, only to explain the stress her sudden release. caused. Instead,
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: it felt like she was using those details to make
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: the conversation about my planning or communication rather than the
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: actual issue, which was her making me leave the next day.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: At this point, I have still not heard anything even
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: close to an apology. She never acknowledged that she effectively
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: threw me out immediately after I had arrived, relying on
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: her invitation and the gaslighting in her responses is beyond
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: disgusting i've already decided to end contact with this person
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: good am i overreacting for being furious about this and
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: thinking she's the worst person i have considered a friend
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: although we're no longer friends we have addressing common questions
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: but yeah no she sucks she sucks.
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: I hate her she sucks and i.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Hate her terrible The worst. She would at least try
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: to help you out anytime. Yeah, this is pissing me off.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: I hate this person.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: She's the worst. You suck.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Addressing common questions. The parents' whereabouts. Her parents do not
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: live with her. Or even in the same country. Also,
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: we have separate rooms and bathrooms. Being out late. I
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: was out late not for hanging out or with other people,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: but for errands. If you must know. I was lining
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: up at the concert venue to attempt for a last-minute
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: ticket release, which is why I was hungry and exhausted
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: after standing for hours. I also fully communicated this to
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: her before the trip, on the day before the flight,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: and when I stepped out after arriving. She was aware
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: and even said, don't worry about it. We can catch
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: up the next day if it's too late when you're back.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: That person sucks. Yeah. I'd be like, don't call me.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Don't text me.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: Don't come by my house. We're done.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: First big thing that really bothered me was when she
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: was like, she broke up with her boyfriend at the
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: beginning and said, oh my gosh, you know.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: What you need to do?
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Come visit me. You told me.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: To come here. You told me to come here. You
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: said you wanted to see me. You said you wanted
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: to hang out with me. And now I'm just gone.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Not visit you, OP.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: I also think.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: I get it. She's in the city, but whatever.
• 31:41
  Speaker 8: I'm wondering how much the flight cost. Because personally, I
• 31:45
  Speaker 8: probably would have just paid for another plane.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Place.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: I feel like that would have been cheaper.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Airbnb. Well, I mean, yeah, what year, I mean, what
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: year this was, but still.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, like a hotel, maybe. I don't know.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: A cheap hotel. Yeah, probably a cheap hotel is, yeah,
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: a cheap hotel is probably cheaper than a flight. Yeah.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: But I think OP was just, like, maybe there was nothing.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Also, when you're, when you're exhausted, hungry, stressed out, tired,
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: and in a new place, you don't know what to do.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: You go into panic mode. All in all, we all
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: hate this girl. She sucks. Let's go ahead and finish
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: up the story. More common questions. Hotel or new flight?
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Opie says, I could have booked a hotel that day instead.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: And I would if I couldn't get onto that new flight.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: But I felt very upset and exhausted from the situation.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: And I just wanted to get back home ASAP Rocky. Also,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: it is a city I had been to so many times.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: And I had no interest in just seeing things. Aside
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: from catching up with friends or the concert, which... had passed.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: The original flight was four days away. Despite a last-minute
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: flight being super expensive, it still cost less than a
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: last-minute hotel booking for four days. Which makes sense. Including
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: two work days where I would not have much leisure
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: time anyway. Work day during a trip. Uh, that's a question.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Work day during a trip. I had arranged to work
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: remotely during the trip, but did not take the time off,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: so the sudden situation disrupted my work schedule and my meetings.
• 33:11
  Speaker 8: Dang.
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, all of it was super disruptful and
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: super disrespectful. And I really don't like your friend. She
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: really is stinky.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: She's a stinker. I would be like, hey, you are
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: the worst.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: You're the worst and you're a stinky stinker.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: And you wonder why you're alone. Maybe not like that.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's too mean. But I would go scorched earth
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: on someone who confirmed not once, not twice, but three times.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: Absolutely redonkulous.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: And I get it, things change, but give me a
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: reasonable excuse.
• 33:44
  Speaker 8: No, I honestly, I don't think that you can, unless
• 33:47
  Speaker 8: you're willing to pay.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: For that person's.
• 33:52
  Speaker 8: New lodging, I do not think that you can change
• 33:55
  Speaker 8: plans when the person is there. I think there are
• 33:59
  Speaker 8: no circumstances where you can do that without paying for
• 34:01
  Speaker 8: the lodging.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Plans change, but you pivot, and you help them pivot,
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: not figure it out for yourself because, sorry.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: And Opie was already there.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Too late.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Too late.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Too little too late. I hate you. That's the end
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: of that story. We have another one coming right up.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern Belle. We're going
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: worth of ads from our sponsors. I picked up my
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: stepson from school. And his head was shaved.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 34:29
  Speaker 7: Dude, punk rock. I, 30 female, married my husband, Alex,
• 34:33
  Speaker 7: 31 male, about a year ago. But we've been together
• 34:36
  Speaker 7: for four years. He was previously married, and after they
• 34:38
  Speaker 7: had agreed to divorce, she told him she was pregnant.
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: We'll call his ex, Kate, 30 female. Kay had been
• 34:45
  Speaker 7: cheating on Alex with Jess, 32 female, for about a year.
• 34:49
  Speaker 7: I had known Alex for years through mutual friends, and
• 34:52
  Speaker 7: I met his son when he was about six months old,
• 34:54
  Speaker 7: so present day. Kay and Jess are together still, but
• 34:57
  Speaker 7: very hot and cold. I went to pick up my
• 35:00
  Speaker 7: stepson from school. Jess had dropped him off. And he
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: seemed quiet and sad. I asked him what was wrong
• 35:05
  Speaker 7: and he said he was sad because he.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: Had no hair.
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: He has beautiful curly hair. He told us he wanted
• 35:10
  Speaker 7: to grow it out into a mullet. At that time,
• 35:12
  Speaker 7: my husband cleared it with his mom that they were
• 35:14
  Speaker 7: both okay with that. And she agreed to have me
• 35:17
  Speaker 7: trim it like around the ears or so. He took
• 35:19
  Speaker 7: his hat off and it was buzzed down to his scalp.
• 35:22
  Speaker 7: I was shocked but just said, well, I think you
• 35:25
  Speaker 7: look very handsome. but thought you'd wanted to grow it out,
• 35:28
  Speaker 7: why did you cut it? Apparently Jess was going to
• 35:30
  Speaker 7: trim it and forgot to put a guard on when
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: she realized that it was too late and she had
• 35:35
  Speaker 7: to buzz it. By the way, this comes from Standard
• 35:38
  Speaker 7: Display 62, and if you want to spend your own stories,
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: go to the r slash okay stories.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I'm Subreddit. I'm Riley.
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: And I'm Savannah.
• 35:44
  Speaker 7: And we're here to read stories goofily. If you have
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: anything you'd like to add, please add down below. When
• 35:49
  Speaker 7: we got home, I called Kate. She didn't know how
• 35:51
  Speaker 7: bad the haircut was and was tied up at a
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: work event. She suggested I make sure I get the
• 35:56
  Speaker 7: whole story on what happened. So with her permission, I
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: went to Jess after I called my husband. who was
• 36:01
  Speaker 7: driving home from a couple of hours away and explained
• 36:04
  Speaker 7: what was going on. So I called Jess as to
• 36:07
  Speaker 7: verify what he said and tell her how upset he was.
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: She said that was exactly what happened, but didn't see
• 36:13
  Speaker 7: why it was such a big of a deal. She
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: kept saying, I'm overreacting and it's just hair. So I
• 36:17
  Speaker 7: tried to explain that as a kid, there's so much
• 36:20
  Speaker 7: he doesn't get a say in. So it was a
• 36:22
  Speaker 7: big deal for him. I told her she should never
• 36:24
  Speaker 7: go near his head with Clippers again. She came back with, well,
• 36:27
  Speaker 7: you're not his mom. And when I reminded her, she
• 36:30
  Speaker 7: wasn't either. She said, I'm a heck of a lot
• 36:32
  Speaker 7: closer than you. I've been there since day one. To
• 36:35
  Speaker 7: which I said, yeah, because you were an affair partner.
• 36:39
  Speaker 7: Don't cut his hair again.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: And hung up.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Appropriate crash out.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I'm a lot closer to him than you are.
• 36:45
  Speaker 6: Shut up.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: You just ruined his hair and you don't care.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: You're like, well, whatever.
• 36:49
  Speaker 6: It's hair.
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: It'll grow back.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, like, I don't know.
• 36:52
  Speaker 6: When you're that age, your appearance isn't maybe one of
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: the most, if not the most important.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: Thing to you. Yeah, it is important.
• 36:59
  Speaker 6: Because you're constantly worried and thinking about how everyone's judging
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: you all the time.
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because you're so young.
• 37:05
  Speaker 7: You gotta go to school, do the social climb.
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: It's crazy.
• 37:08
  Speaker 7: Big time crazy. I called my husband back to explain
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: everything and calm down. He had been on the phone
• 37:13
  Speaker 7: with Kate discussing things as well. And I texted Kate
• 37:16
  Speaker 7: to give an overview and say I was sorry if
• 37:18
  Speaker 7: I overreacted. It's the next day and Jess is sterile
• 37:21
  Speaker 7: trying to tell Kate I shouldn't be allowed to cut.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: His hair if she can't.
• 37:25
  Speaker 7: And I need to give my parenting privileges taken away.
• 37:28
  Speaker 7: I think that's crazy. And Jess wants to clarify her
• 37:31
  Speaker 7: role as a step-parent. Kate and my husband met twice
• 37:34
  Speaker 7: a year alone to discuss parenting things, and the last one,
• 37:37
  Speaker 7: Kate said she is comfortable with seeing me as a
• 37:40
  Speaker 7: parent and is ready to include me in the meetings
• 37:42
  Speaker 7: going forward. But am I the a-hole for being upset
• 37:45
  Speaker 7: with Jess for not only buzzing his hair, but for
• 37:48
  Speaker 7: how she reacted to trying to minimize it?
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: Update, what do we think about this woman, doodah?
• 37:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's really stupid that you tried to
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: minimize it. And she probably did it because she knows
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: that she's wrong. And she feels somehow.
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: Threatened by you.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Dang.
• 38:02
  Speaker 7: Probably because you're a better mom.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: All I heard.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm just getting that all
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: of that was facts.
• 38:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: Update.
• 38:09
  Speaker 7: My husband talked to Kate about why Jess would do
• 38:11
  Speaker 7: that and react how she did while she was driving home.
• 38:15
  Speaker 7: Kate admitted she had noticed Jess asking questions about what
• 38:19
  Speaker 7: I do and saying little digs at me around their son.
• 38:22
  Speaker 7: Like he will tell a story from our house and
• 38:24
  Speaker 7: she'll find a way to say something negative about me.
• 38:27
  Speaker 7: She lightly called her out on this one time and
• 38:30
  Speaker 7: Jessica had a really negative response.
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: Jess has a.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: Crush on you.
• 38:34
  Speaker 7: Kate and my husband were going to meet tomorrow morning
• 38:36
  Speaker 7: about it, but Kate called me very upset, saying they
• 38:40
  Speaker 7: got into a fight.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: Uh-oh.
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: Did it come to blows?
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: No.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 38:47
  Speaker 7: She doesn't have a lot of family, so this isn't
• 38:50
  Speaker 7: the first time she has called me needing someone to
• 38:52
  Speaker 7: talk to.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: That knows the whole dynamic.
• 38:55
  Speaker 7: I said she could come over to talk to me
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: about it if she's up to it, and she took
• 38:59
  Speaker 7: me up on it. So she came over. We all
• 39:01
  Speaker 7: played Hot Wheels for a bit. Seeing their son obviously
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: helped calm her down. Then I took him to the
• 39:07
  Speaker 7: playroom while Alex and Kate talked. Apparently, Jess is tired
• 39:11
  Speaker 7: of not being treated like as much of a parent
• 39:13
  Speaker 7: as me in her eyes. and cut his hair on purpose.
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: Basically to make a parenting decision that couldn't be reversed.
• 39:22
  Speaker 7: That came out of a heated blow up from her
• 39:25
  Speaker 7: when Kate insisted she was okay with me cutting his
• 39:27
  Speaker 7: hair so he could have the style he wanted. I'm
• 39:20
  Speaker 7: in love with that. Next, Kate and Alex came in
• 39:49
  Speaker 7: and talked to their son alone and asked some gentle
• 39:51
  Speaker 7: questions about Jess while they played. He said sometimes she
• 39:54
  Speaker 7: yells and he doesn't like it and he wouldn't be
• 39:57
  Speaker 7: sad if she wasn't there. We all ate dinner together
• 40:02
  Speaker 7: so our son could see that everything was okay. and
• 40:04
  Speaker 7: we all told him how many fun things we could
• 40:06
  Speaker 7: do with his hair as it grows back. He will
• 40:08
  Speaker 7: be going to a professional for cuts, though. After Kate
• 40:11
  Speaker 7: went home, my husband even buzzed his head and told
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: her son that he thought it was cool and he
• 40:16
  Speaker 7: wanted to match him.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: I mean, at this point, we are at the stage
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: where it's like, it will grow back.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Like, we're not kids.
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: I don't know, man.
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: I don't know if it'll grow back. It'll probably grow
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: back thicker.
• 40:24
  Speaker 7: Kate and Jess met to talk, and I don't know
• 40:26
  Speaker 7: everything that was said, but I do know that Kate
• 40:30
  Speaker 7: then told us she will be filing for a restraining
• 40:33
  Speaker 7: order against Jess and asked for my help because, unfortunately,
• 40:37
  Speaker 7: I have to file for one before her. Then Kate
• 40:40
  Speaker 7: and Alex met at her house and talked over what...
• 40:44
  Speaker 7: means for their son, and that conversation turned into what
• 40:47
  Speaker 7: my role is as a parent. Kate and Alex are
• 40:49
  Speaker 7: now in the process of amending their parent agreement, which
• 40:52
  Speaker 7: frankly they said was overdue anyway, because he's a toddler now,
• 40:56
  Speaker 7: and all these agreements were made when he was an infant,
• 40:59
  Speaker 7: and their divorce was really raw. They asked me if
• 41:02
  Speaker 7: I would be comfortable being written into the agreement to
• 41:05
  Speaker 7: have things like the ability to take him to a doctor,
• 41:09
  Speaker 7: be designated contact, and a next of kin if anything
• 41:14
  Speaker 7: happens to them, etc. They also added in guidelines for
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: introducing future partners. A lot of commenters said I need
• 41:20
  Speaker 7: to back off and let the parents handle this. While
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: there are things I for sure could have done differently,
• 41:27
  Speaker 7: I spoke with both Alex and Kate and they both agreed.
• 41:30
  Speaker 7: They were thankful for how this and how we were
• 41:34
  Speaker 7: glad I was the one who picked him up that day.
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: But overall, Katie's upset. Oh, boo hoo.
• 41:39
  Speaker 6: Kate's upset. She's the one that messed up. You know
• 41:42
  Speaker 6: who's really upset?
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: Your kid.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he is upset.
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: Get over it, Kate.
• 41:47
  Speaker 7: Kiddo is picking out the stencils that he wants to
• 41:49
  Speaker 7: spray design into.
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: His hair as it grows out.
• 41:52
  Speaker 7: All the schools and family members have been informed that
• 41:54
  Speaker 7: Jess is no longer allowed near anyone else. in this
• 41:58
  Speaker 7: family on either side, and some important conversations have been had.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait.
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: No, it wasn't Kate.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: It was Jess.
• 42:04
  Speaker 6: Jess.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: No, it was Jess. Did I say that wrong? Kate,
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: never mind. Jess was the bad one, right? Yes, Jess
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: was the bad one.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: Yes, so never mind.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I take back what I said about Kate, and that's all.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: the next one.
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: My mother-in-law took every first with my newborn and my
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: husband cheered.
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: What's wrong with your husband?
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: Where's my cheering?
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: My husband and I have a newborn baby boy who
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: finally came home after about a week in the neonatal unit.
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: I got pregnant while we were living abroad for work
• 42:32
  Speaker 6: and during that time his mom had moved herself into
• 42:34
  Speaker 6: the small flat he only ever asked her to lightly
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: maintain while we were away. When we moved back home
• 42:40
  Speaker 6: towards the end of my pregnancy to be closer to family...
• 42:43
  Speaker 6: I fully expected her to move out because the flat
• 42:46
  Speaker 6: clearly wasn't big enough for all of us, but she
• 42:49
  Speaker 6: insisted she needed to be there to help with her grandson,
• 42:53
  Speaker 6: and since my husband has never once put his foot
• 42:56
  Speaker 6: down with her.
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: She stayed.
• 42:57
  Speaker 6: Since bringing our son home, she has been crossing so
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: many boundaries that I have finally hit my limit. I
• 43:04
  Speaker 6: tried to talk to my husband about it, and he
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: just said, she has more experience with babies than us,
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: and we should trust her judgment.
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: I have tried with her.
• 43:12
  Speaker 6: The thing is, she has been completely fixated on being
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: there for every single first with our son, and has
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: gone behind my back to make sure she gets there
• 43:19
  Speaker 6: before me every single time. By the way, this comes
• 43:21
  Speaker 6: from UserUltra. Username, 4534. And if you want to submit
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash ok story
• 43:27
  Speaker 6: and I'm subreddit.
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. I'm Riley.
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: And we're going to read this story and we're going
• 43:33
  Speaker 6: to have our thoughts and you get to have yours
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: as well. And you can put them in the comments
• 43:36
  Speaker 6: to let us know what you think about this story.
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: It started with his first proper bath. We agreed we
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: were going to do it together on the weekend, the
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: three of us, and take pictures and make it a
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: little moment. I stepped out one afternoon to nip to
• 43:47
  Speaker 6: the pharmacy and came back 40 minutes later to find
• 43:49
  Speaker 6: she had bathed him in the kitchen sink. while my
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: husband was on a work call in the bedroom, beaming,
• 43:53
  Speaker 6: telling me how she'd wanted to give us a break.
• 43:56
  Speaker 6: Mother-in-law had a whole little album of photos she had
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: taken on her phone. No photos of me, obviously. And
• 44:02
  Speaker 6: then it was his first proper outing. I had been
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: waiting until I felt physically ready for it. I came
• 44:08
  Speaker 6: out of the shower one morning to find his pram
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: gone from the hallway. She had taken him out to
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: a cafe with her sister to introduce him to the family.
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: A whole side of relatives I had never even met
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: got to hold my baby together. before I'd taken him
• 44:21
  Speaker 6: out of the building myself. The thing that actually tipped
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: me over the edge happened last weekend. We had agreed
• 44:26
  Speaker 6: we were going to register him at the local general
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: practitioner together on Monday morning. She took herself there on
• 44:32
  Speaker 6: Saturday with him, told the receptionist she was the primary
• 44:35
  Speaker 6: carer while we recovered from a difficult birth, registered him
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: under her contact details rather than mine, and came home
• 44:41
  Speaker 6: pleased with herself.
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: For saving us the trip.
• 44:43
  Speaker 6: Right, and now we just have to do all the
• 44:44
  Speaker 6: logistics of changing all the stuff that you listed with
• 44:48
  Speaker 6: the doctor by yourself.
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: I hate you.
• 44:50
  Speaker 6: I rang the GP on Monday to find we weren't
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: listed at all as parents in any meaningful sense and
• 44:57
  Speaker 6: would need to come in with IDs to sort it out.
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: Let's just finish this story. We all know that this
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: mom sucks. Yeah.
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: You need to put an ultimatum on your husband. This
• 45:05
  Speaker 6: is like mentally disturbed behavior.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she is being really weird now.
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: She went to the doctor and was like, I take
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: care of the baby.
• 45:12
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 45:12
  Speaker 6: Didn't even give them your information and was like, I
• 45:15
  Speaker 6: saved you the trip. And it's like, no, you actually
• 45:17
  Speaker 6: gave us an extra one because now we have to
• 45:19
  Speaker 6: go to the doctor and.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: Be like, I am the rightful owners of this child.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: That boy came out of me.
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: I told my husband what she had done and that
• 45:28
  Speaker 6: this had stopped being about helping and started being about
• 45:31
  Speaker 6: replacing me. He said I was being really hard on
• 45:34
  Speaker 6: her and that she only wanted to feel included and
• 45:36
  Speaker 6: that maybe my hormones were making me see it as
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: worse than it was.
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: I'm like, check this out. You think it's my hormones making.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Me leave you right now?
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: This is insane. Go make out with your mom, you freak.
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
• 45:49
  Speaker 6: His mom stood behind him in the kitchen with that
• 45:52
  Speaker 6: tight little smile and said gently that I probably had
• 45:54
  Speaker 6: postpartum anxiety.
• 45:55
  Speaker 5: He nodded along. Does he not care that he didn't
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: get to experience any of these things with his kid?
• 45:59
  Speaker 6: I'm not even like a, I'm like, you have like
• 46:02
  Speaker 6: a kid or anything. But if somebody took my first
• 46:05
  Speaker 6: moments away with my own child, I would go absolutely ballistic.
• 46:09
  Speaker 6: I don't care who it is.
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: I packed a bag for me and the baby and
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: drove to my sister's. Thank God. It's been almost three weeks.
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: I really thought my husband would come around once he
• 46:18
  Speaker 6: thought about it, but his mom has told him not
• 46:20
  Speaker 6: to indulge my tantrum and he hasn't come to see
• 46:22
  Speaker 6: us once.
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Hey, you know who's going to love that?
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: A court.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: Shh.
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: A court is going to love him not visiting his
• 46:32
  Speaker 6: child once for three weeks.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: Not even one.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: Phone call about the baby.
• 46:37
  Speaker 6: I have been best friends with this man for over
• 46:39
  Speaker 6: 12 years, and I'm looking at a side of him
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: I did not know was there.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: I want to throw his mom into a volcano.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: He's a crazy mama's boy, though. Like, you got to
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: at least, like, recognize that. Be like, oh, I haven't
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: seen my newborn child in what?
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: What did she say?
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: She's like, don't indulge her tantrum. It's like, you're evil.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: Like, I want to know, you know what? And I will.
• 47:02
  Speaker 6: I'm going to remember to look up some whatever studies
• 47:06
  Speaker 6: are out there about what drives mothers who become grandmothers.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: To behave this way. Yeah, that's good. There have to
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: be studies about it.
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: You're mentally ill.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: the next one. Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Jersey girl here.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I took in
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: my wife's friend for cheap rent. Now I feel like
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: a guest in my own home.
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: Oops.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: My wife, 40 female and I, 44 male, have been
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: married for one year. We've been together for 20 years.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: We moved away from our hometown to a large city.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: Things have been pretty good so far. We are child-free
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: by design. I work from home. She works about 15
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: minutes away, four days a week. At that job, she
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: met a friend called Alice, 24 female. Alice quit that
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: job and moved in with her boyfriend, renting a home.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: They broke up, and Alice had nowhere to go. My
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: wife asked me if Alice could move into our guest bedroom.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: I agreed. We set her rent at $ 200 and added
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: $ 50 per month because I would be cooking her meals
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: four days a week at least. The plan is for
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: her to save up to move out. Things have not
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: been going well for me. Alice works a 9-5 and
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: does not interact with me at all when we see
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: each other. I knew Alice for a year before she
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: moved in. Things were always jovial. We've hung out together
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: dozens of times when she was dating her ex. Alice
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: is way younger than my wife and I, but it's
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: hard to make friends in a new city. By the way,
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: this comes from butt idiot. And if you want to
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: spend your own stories, go to the arts that showcase
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: story time subreddit.
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: My name is Savannah.
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: I am Dakota.
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: I am Sophia.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: And we are here to give some good advice, but
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: we don't have all the answers. We'd only tell you
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: what we would do, but let us know what you would.
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: Do down in the comments.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: Our household dynamic is I do most of the things
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: around our house because I work from home. I cook
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: all the meals and do most of the cleaning and
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: do everything to care for our two dogs. I'd like
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: my wife to contribute more, but those conversations have not
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: yielded any results. I admit I hold a bit of
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: resentment because of this. When Alice moved in, I immediately
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: noticed she wanted nothing to do with me. I had
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: no idea what to expect because I've never had a roommate.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: But the daily affair was that we would not interact
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: at all. She makes her breakfast and I log into work.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: She does not acknowledge me at all, so I stopped
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: saying good morning. She comes home from work one to
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: two hours before my wife and goes to her room
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: and closes the door. I cook dinner, and when my
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: wife comes home, she leaves her room and eats with
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: us and will engage in conversation with us. She finishes
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: dinner and goes.
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: Back to her room.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: I don't expect her to be my bestie and get
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: we are 20 years apart. It just seems a little
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: weird to me that I bailed her out and giving
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: her a room and board at a tiny price, and
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: she's pretty cold. I have absolutely never done anything creepy,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: And honestly, I think I'm going to get flamed here
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: anyway for saying that. If you choose to believe me,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: I've never stared at her, said anything about her body,
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: said anything spicy related, or even talked to her one-on-one
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: other than telling her what's for dinner. Things in the
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: house took a turn recently because I effed up dinner
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: on a Sunday. I planned something out, went shopping, prepped, marinated,
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: and put stuff in the oven. I don't know what happened,
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: but when I checked it out 40 minutes later, the
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: oven was off. The meat was near temp, but not
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: crispier at all the veggie was still raw i explained
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: what happened and said dinner was kind of ruined i
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: encouraged my wife and alice to order something and they
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: did they also had a really good laugh at me
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: this kind of hurt because they don't do crap to
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: help i planned dinner and did all the work from
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: start to finish while they watched the.
• 50:31
  Speaker 8: Olympics important super important is it so so important.
• 50:37
  Speaker 5: To watch the olympics is important.
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: Watching the olympics but.
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: To be in the olympics is what's Eh. That's important.
• 50:43
  Speaker 8: No one really cares about the people in the Olympics.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: They just care about the shapes on the television.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: This is the usual affair, and I've never been asked
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: if I need help. I got kind of pissed here
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: because I felt like I was being taken for granted
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: by my wife and her guest. There was already a
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: bit of resentment here because I do most of the
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: housework and all of the cooking. And I make three
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: times my wife's salary and pay all of the bills
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: other than internet and gas. I decided, F dinner. I'll
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: do my own thing and they can do theirs. Since
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: putting this in play, my wife has not talked to me.
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: She comes home, Alice leaves her bedroom, they order something
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: to eat, and I'm completely ignored. What do I do here?
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: I don't want to punt Alice out. She has nowhere
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: to go. I have acquiesced to the fact that I'm
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: going to do more around the house. Because I work
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: from home. And efforts to make things more equal have failed.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: I am caught feeling like it's me that's a guest here.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: They pal around and have talks while I just go
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: to another room and hang out on my own. There
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: is no spicy related dynamic between my wife and Alice.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: They are never alone together.
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: Edit.
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: I'm looking into couples therapy.
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: This is tough.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: For me, because I've had bad experiences with therapy, but
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: I'm still doing it. I had a discussion with my
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: wife about the cooking situation and that I feel like
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: it's an added burden that I'm not just doing the cooking,
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: but also the planning for a guest that I'm not
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: even sure what she likes and will only talk to
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: me when my wife is home. I told her it's
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: stressful to not only do the cooking on my own,
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: but have to plan everything and shop for it on
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: my lunch breaks. She said she'll have to do some
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: research into meals, but was busy now. She was busy
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: playing a phone game. So I, and I know I'm
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: wrong here, said, forget it.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: I'll just manage.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: She got really pissed and locked her bedroom, leaving me
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: to sleep in a cot in my office. There's a
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: lot of things going on here.
• 52:28
  Speaker 6: Yo, who's the house belong to?
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: Is it yours?
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: I think it's time for her and her friend to
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: find a new place to stay. What's going on here?
• 52:36
  Speaker 6: Is your wife, like, developing a midlife crisis because she
• 52:38
  Speaker 6: has a friend who's younger than her? And she's, like,
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: simulating being a dumb 24-year-old? Not all 24-year-olds are dumb.
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: This one is.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's definitely not okay to be treating your
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: wife this way and then for her to treat you
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: this way. And then also for the guest. Like, but
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: putting Alice aside, you two being married, like, what is
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: going on here? There's a completely different dynamic happening that
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: has switched because Alice is here? Or was this happening before?
• 53:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: You know. It's because her young friend is now here.
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: She's acting different.
• 53:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, I think we need.
• 53:10
  Speaker 5: To separate for a little while.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: This is crazy.
• 53:12
  Speaker 6: Lock the bedroom door because you said, hey, help me
• 53:15
  Speaker 6: with this. And she went, I'm busy playing games on
• 53:17
  Speaker 6: her phone. And then just being like, forget it. I'll
• 53:20
  Speaker 6: just do it. Don't even worry about it. I'll take
• 53:21
  Speaker 6: care of it.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: And then she goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, dear, y'all.
• 53:25
  Speaker 6: And she locks herself in the bedroom and just plays
• 53:28
  Speaker 6: more games on her phone.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: You can do that all by yourself.
• 53:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: This is weird.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: She later texted me meal ideas. I thanked her and
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: asked when her friend was leaving that it's been a
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: month already. She said she'll need at least a few months.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: This is where I was wary because I need to
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: find some kind of way to express that it feels
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: bad for me to be just existing in my home,
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: but having a guest that seems to want to avoid
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: me in particular. but be fine and comfortable when my
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: wife comes home. I said I want her out ASAP
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: because I feel like a creep in my own home
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: and it isn't fair. I've been left on read. And
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: I'm in the office. The dogs won't get walked tonight
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: because they're locked in our bedroom. Now I'm shutting everything down.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: Do not blame the dogs here. Do you want them
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: to piss and poop in your house?
• 54:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no.
• 54:14
  Speaker 4: Take them for a walk.
• 54:16
  Speaker 6: You guys can go get a little girly pop apartment
• 54:18
  Speaker 6: together and live together. And it can be like a
• 54:21
  Speaker 6: little sitcom where you're her work mom and you.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: Guys are figuring it out together.
• 54:27
  Speaker 6: Young, 20-something with a freshly divorced.
• 54:31
  Speaker 5: 40-year-old girl boss.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, shut up. Just go do that. We're done.
• 54:36
  Speaker 6: This is crazy. I don't want to be with you
• 54:38
  Speaker 6: anymore after the way you've acted. It's like, oh, no,
• 54:42
  Speaker 6: you're neglecting the dogs too?
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, once you start neglecting the animals, uh-uh. That's when
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: I have to put my foot down. I mean, it's
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: one thing to, like, you know, reject me or inflict
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: pain on me, whatever. Do not do it to an animal.
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's like, just.
• 54:56
  Speaker 6: Tell your little gal pal how to act right. She
• 54:58
  Speaker 6: is not behaving like a guest in someone's home.
• 55:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, literally, I would.
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: If she was my son, I'd be like, hey, so
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: my husband is saying, like, it's kind of weird that
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: you guys, like, don't talk or whatever. Like, why don't
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: we all, like, sit and, like, talk and whatever and then,
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: I'll leave.
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: You guys can have a conversation. Like, can we try
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: to figure something out here? Cause he thinks it's weird
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: that you're just staying and have no, like, it's not
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: that you guys need a relationship or whatever, but like
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: at least being like, Hey, thanks for cooking every night.
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: I really appreciate that. Or Hey, again, Thank you for
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: letting me stay. I know that this isn't the best
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: situation and whatnot, but I just wanted to show gratitude
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: towards you. Instead, she just says nothing, kind of just
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: puts her head down and just like leaves. But then
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: it's so, you know, hunky dory when, you know, her
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: friend comes home.
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: When are Gal Fridays here?
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: Some relevant comments.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Does OP know who turned off the oven and the
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: dinner he was making? OP responds, I have no idea.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: I'm blaming myself and saying maybe I hit off when
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: I started the timer, but the timer was on the microwave,
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: not the oven. I honestly do not know what happened there.
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: And like I said, I was so mad about it.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: I put hours of work into it. While I'd like
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: to set it straight, this Watergate... OP on the friendship
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: and not having any interactions with Alex. OP says, I
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: don't think Alice owes me friendship. My only frame of
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: reference is what I would do in her situation. I
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: would do the same as her and make myself kind
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: of scarce, but I'd say good morning or hello when
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: I get home. It just seems weird to me that
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: she gets home from work, sits in the living room
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: with headphones on reading a book while I cook dinner,
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: not even acknowledging I'm there. And then when my wife
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: gets home, I serve them dinner while they yap it up.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: About how their day was.
• 56:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you're not even asking, like, for her to, like,
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: be your friend.
• 56:47
  Speaker 6: It's just, like, acknowledge my existence and don't make me
• 56:50
  Speaker 6: feel like I'm somehow, like, doing something wrong.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: I don't like how this is very... Opie, I don't
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: think that you're in the wrong here. I think that
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: you offered. You offered all this stuff, you know, and
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: this person's taking.
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: Well... I mean, it's not that they're taking advantage.
• 57:05
  Speaker 5: Well, no, they are. They're being rude.
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: No, they are.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: They are taking advantage.
• 57:09
  Speaker 5: And your wife doesn't care at all.
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:11
  Speaker 5: In fact, she's like, actually, you suck for even saying this.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:16
  Speaker 5: By the way, she's going to be here for months,
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: months and months. There actually is no end date.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: You learn to be grateful in life and you learn
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: to appreciate what is given to you rather than like
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: just completely ignore this person and just be, you know, off.
• 57:28
  Speaker 4: Yapping with one of them.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: That's fair, but it makes me feel like a creep
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: to get home from the gym, walk into the living room,
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: and the guest I'm subsidizing sees me and without a
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: word leaves the room and stays there while I make
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: her dinner until my wife gets home. I brought this
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: up with my wife before she moved in. She's had
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: jealousy issues in the past over the 20 years we've
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: been together. I said, if she's going to stay with us,
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: you have to understand that I have no interest in
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: her romantically. She laughed and said that was never even
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: something that crossed her mind. Commenter says, how do you
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: pay for expenses, vacations, etc.? OP responds, we are child
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: free and take a vacation every year. I pay for it.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: My wife received a large inheritance and put it towards
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: a large down payment on our home so that I
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: can easily afford the mortgage with my salary. There's an
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: update three months later. I mean, you think they're still together?
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 58:16
  Speaker 6: I would think so, but it's like there has to
• 58:18
  Speaker 6: be like a wake up call moment.
• 58:21
  Speaker 4: You think Alice is still living there?
• 58:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: Really? You think Alice is still living there?
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: So nothing's changed, you're thinking? No, I don't think this
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: guy's going to divorce in 20 years.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: It is around four and a half months of my
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: wife's friend living with us. My wife has balked at
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: the idea of couples therapy, so I'm going on my own.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: I've reiterated to my wife that we need a game
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: plan about how long her friend stays. I told her
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: that I agreed to this, so telling her to just
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: get out is not an option.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: However.
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: We need to establish an end date, and I think
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: six months is more than reasonable. Some new things have
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: come to light. Alice has been going to her ex's
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: place most weekends, and they are trying to reconnect. I've
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: honestly never rooted harder for someone else's relationship. Last weekend,
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: Alice came home crying and wanting to talk. Not to me, obviously,
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: so I excused myself to the bedroom. Here's what I gathered.
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: Her ex.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: ex said something while wasted about not seeing a future
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: with her. That's why she's upset. I assume she was
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: paying rent when she lived with him. and splitting bills
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: and rent on a home. I estimated her contribution to
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: be around $ 1, 400. I assumed six months of paying $ 250
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: a month would be more than enough time to get
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: her affairs in order, get a deposit and first month rent.
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: And be out. It turns out she paid no rent
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: or share of bills.
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: Her ex paid everything. This is very worrisome to me
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: now because she's lived with him six months without bills
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: other than her car payment and didn't save anything. Her
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: plan has been to move back.
• 59:48
  Speaker 4: With him all along.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: Staying here was supposed to be a temporary solution. Now
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: we're over four months in, And she hasn't even looked
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: for her own place.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: That's crazy.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: So in the back of her mind, she's like, oh,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: I'll just stay here until he wants me back. And
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: now he doesn't want you.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 6: If I was her ex, I'd be like, no, sorry.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 6: I don't see a future with a parasitic organism.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: I don't want. parasites in my future this is just.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Crazy i don't i don't know why.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 6: Maybe she's giving you the cold shoulder because she you
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 6: made her pay rent maybe she's like taking it personally
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 6: that she has to pay a measly peasily little 250
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 6: for rent yeah while you cook her dinner every night
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 6: by the.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: Way literally and then she just doesn't say a word
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: to you I'm.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: Grilling my wife. I'm like, did you know about this?
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: She did. We're splitting up.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: We're separating.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm going to get my own place. You
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: can keep the house.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: Whatever.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 5: You put down the giant down payment for the house.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: You stay here. You and your new best friend can
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: live here. I'm going to go get my own place.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: I want nothing to do with either of you right now.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: Have fun. You can raise her.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: She can be your new 24 year old daughter. You
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: can raise by yourself.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: Have fun with that.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: She wants to be like the wife paying nothing and
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: doing nothing.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 6: She's just like, oh, why can't I be like you
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 6: and just get a fat inheritance and then do nothing?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: My wife is in agreement that six months is enough, reasonably,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: but is avoiding a conversation with her. I really can't
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: see how it should be my responsibility to set this
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: boundary scene as it's her friend and she doesn't want
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: anything to do with me. However, she needs adequate notice.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: My plan is to draft an eviction notice. And per
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: state guidelines, just give it to her at the five-month mark,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: simply saying six months is all we can do. It's
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: time to find your own place.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: Your wife is awful.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 6: Hate to break it to you. After all this, and
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 6: she still is like, you're the one who has to
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 6: tell her she has to get out. Your wife just sucks.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 6: I don't even think your wife is a friend to Alice.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 6: It almost sounds like your wife is using Alice to
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 6: make herself feel like she's 24 and doesn't really care
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 6: at all for Alice because who in their right mind,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 6: if they were friends with that person, would be like, yeah,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 6: get back together with your ex. Be like, no, no, no, babe,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 6: we need to move on and upwards. We need to
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 6: grow and change. She's like, no, no, yeah, we'll get
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 6: your ex back. And also, I'm not going to tell
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 6: you you can only stay here for six months. I've
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 6: had enough being 24. My husband will do it.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 4: I just I don't know.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: I yeah, this the wife is really getting on my
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: last nerve because she sits there and does nothing and
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: then just like gossips with her friend that is living there.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: Not for free, but for pretty dang cheap. And then
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: like then the friend doesn't even have a plan.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 4: I also like Opie.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like you need you just need to come
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: out and say it like cool. Like just accept that
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: you're going to be the bad guy. Anyway, as soon
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: as you accept it, just freaking go for it because
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: they're going to paint you as a bad guy anyway
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: in any of this for just having reasonable boundaries in
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: your own home where you do all the cooking and
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: cleaning and paying.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 4: All the bills.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: Like, please, please tell me what else can I possibly
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: do for you? Some relevant comments. OP on the comfort
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: in his own home and Alice. OP responds, it seems
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: to me more that she is uncomfortable with me being
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: there in my house. She'll leave a room if I
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: walk into it. That is absolutely her right to do.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: I don't expect her time. I thought we were friends,
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: but she was friendly with me at events and gatherings,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: but friends with my wife. The effect of this is
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: I am not comfortable in my own home anymore. Maybe
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: she is uncomfortable around older men, and that's absolutely fine.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: Don't ask to move in with an older couple. We
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: were her last possibility in the friend group of my wife's.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: Everyone else had already said no. OP needs to talk
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: with Alice and tell her she has to move out.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: OP says she's not my friend. She's my wife's friend.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: If she was my friend, she wouldn't leave a room
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: I entered and ignore a simple hello. She did misrepresent herself.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: She said just a little time to save for an apartment.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: That wasn't her plan. I'm having a lot of difficulty
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: understanding how I'm inconsiderate when this is my wife's friend.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: Alice took my wife to brunch and asked her, not me,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: to move in. I can't text her because I don't
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: have her number. I communicate with her.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: Via my wife.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: That is so weird. That is really weird.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: This girl's been staying at your house.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: You don't have her number.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 5: For four months, for a third of a year. And
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 5: you don't even have a way to contact her.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: That's absurd.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what? That is really weird. I don't know.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: OP, you can keep saying, I can't tell her she's
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: not my friend. That's just an excuse. That is an
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: excuse just to, you know, keep living in this situation
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: that you're living.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't know. It is your house.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: Get a backbone.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: Put your foot down.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: Dig all 10 toes in and say, hey, can we
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: just have a conversation really quick? I just want to
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: let you know that we can't house you anymore. So
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: you have one month to find a place and get out.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm sorry, but that is just the way
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: that it is. And we can't care for you anymore.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 6: Period.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: And if she has a problem with it, you know,
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: she's going to go tell your wife, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: But at least you gave her notice. Because the thing is,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: your wife's not going to tell her. Your wife is
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: not going to freaking tell her at all. Your wife
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: is never going to say, oh, you need to move
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: out or you need to do this. No, because then
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: that looks bad on the wife. She can't make herself
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: look bad. You have to be the one to put
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: your foot down and do it.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 5: Come on, noodle spine.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: Let's go.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: OP on having cameras for the house. OP says, I
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: have cameras in the living room and office because of dogs.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: I assume your comment is implicating my wife has suddenly
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: become a sapphic and is in a relationship with a roommate.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: That simply cannot be true. I mean, I don't think
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: that it's true. I doubt it.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: I don't think that either.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: I didn't get that vibe.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 6: I just think your wife kind of sucks and doesn't
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 6: like or respect you. I think you might honestly need
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: to leave this relationship. And that's the end of this story.