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F*ck Off Fridays - Pilot · F*ck Off Fridays

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Fuck Off Fridays.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Liv, professionally unhinged and romantically questionable.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Charlie, the voice of reason, unfortunately.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Between us, we've made every bad decision, so you don't have to.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: But let's be honest, you still will.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: No names, just vibes and accountability.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is the podcast where we embrace the chaos, the cringe, the what the fuck am I even doing, and we laugh through it anyway.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you're here for perfectly curated wellness advice, this might not be your space.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: But if you've ever been ghosted by someone who wears leather bracelets and calls himself an entrepreneur, you're in the right place.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Liv and I will hope to guide you through the chaos and bollocks of everyday life, especially on a Friday.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: And each week we'll share real stories from terrible first dates, friendship breakups to full-blown meltdowns in the most inconvenient places.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: So grab a drink.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Lower your expectations.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And let's get into it.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because life is a mess, and honestly.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of the point.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna kick off uh with submitting your dating icks.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, we asked you to submit whatever icks you think, whether it's men, women, friends, um we've had a fair few submitted which have been reasonably entertaining.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Mainly from girls.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think girls are way more savage with icks.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like so much more like they breathed wrong, so it's an ick.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but I've I've asked guys, like my male friends, I've asked guys in the pub, and they don't seem to get the ick.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, like I think they're comfortable with being well-kept men.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why they don't get the ick.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a an a natural protection.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: They can't get the ick because then they don't have a woman that will care for them and cook for them.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: There's a male loneliness epidemic, ladies and gentlemen.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, have you heard?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so here's a few that I got from DMs.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, men who do yoga.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh I feel like that's a bit savage.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, is it?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here for a bit of yoga because I think it's good for your mind and it's good for mobility.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Depends on what sort of age.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if it's an old man, leave them alone, let them be mobile.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to see your boyfriend doing a downward-facing dog?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: Go on, hit me.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: What else have you got?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, men who shave their balls.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: There was an add-on to that.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: The add-on was so they look like a raw chicken.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Horrendous.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, next.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um ask you out for dinner, but then ask where you want to go.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm going to happen to the planning.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Make a decision.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Move ask someone out.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um trainers on the beach.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Where are we staying with that?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's not comfortable.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: So like I don't like sand in, like, I feel like I I wouldn't give myself the ache, but you know, in your You don't like sand.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm okay for that.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a few from the guys at work.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So the guys give me a mail.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: They were less forthcoming than the girls.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is very specific and it needs an action.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when a man is cold and shivers and goes brrr, like outwardly goes brrr.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: It says the burr as opposed to says burr.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: This is chastity.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm cold.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so mean girl energy.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think that gives me the ick.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like nasty people, I'm not about it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if anybody who's seen you're not watching it, but Married at First Sight Australia, there's some hella mean girl energy in there.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if anybody who's not watching it, everyone goes, Are you watching the UK one?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, give me the Aussies, they're hardcore drama, and I love it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: They know how to make TV.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'll give it a whirl.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Girls being leary and loud in particular chavs.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: A bit savage from the guys in particular.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but break that down.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think girls just I think where they're coming from is like, you know, if you're like at the races, yeah, yeah.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're on a night out.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you're at the races, I don't really do nights out anymore.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And people are being particularly loud, maybe they're a bit hammered.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this leads on nicely to dodge your patchy fake tan.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, We've got nothing, nothing wrong against fake tan, and I was like, good, because this girl is bronzed every Thursday.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but they don't like dodgy Apache fake tan.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Tiger Brad.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tiger bread.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, tiger bread, yeah.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: You look like a cheetah.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't about that.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's fair.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Should we go on to some of our icks?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'd I've just Do you want to go there?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um personally.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I I had this one sent to me, but it is one of mine.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Men who wear tiny, tiny socks, like trainer socks, or you know, the ones that just covered their toes, so you can't quite see them in a boat shoe.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're basically wearing a fucking pop sock.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what they're called, isn't it?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think they're called pop socks for the ones that came halfway up your knee that instead of wearing tights all the way up.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've always called the little like ballerina pump ones.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have them.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have worn them before.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: For hygiene purposes, here comes the voice of reason, everyone.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: For hygiene purposes, I'm not against them.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But when they're in a shoe, you can't see them.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to see your your shoeless foot with a with a pop sock on.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not about that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you took your shoe, your foot out of your shoe, and I saw it on you, I'd be like, alright.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: If a bloke did that and he'd wearing like a chat and boat shoe or something, I'd be like, You're not into it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're disgusting.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, some point about girls being savage.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um shall I go?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll alternate.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so a lot of mine are very specific.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Men who wear the teeny tiny Alice bands to keep their hair out of their face whilst they're exercising, specifically crossfitters.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at you.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's giving David Beckham.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're not David Beckham.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Your turn, go.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't one of mine, but it is one that has sent me off the deep end so many times.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: She's said it to me so many times, it's a friend of mine.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's you know when you are you go to someone, what will your icks be?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Without hesitation, men with umbrellas.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's so niche.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Men with umbrellas.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, golf umbrella, pop-up umbrella, just a man with an umbrella.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think a pop-up umbrella is more offensive.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's more man than a big man and get wet.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Get wet.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Ruin the head, uh.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think a small umbrella, I can understand, but a big one holding it up for you like a gentleman.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you have pear.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't happen anymore.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: You'd end up holding one for them.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, men with umbrella is savage.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So savage.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um one I had submitted was um uh anybody who asks for a steak well done.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's just offensive.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Straight up.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sackable offensive.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you're asking for a steak well done, you shouldn't be eating steak.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Line up.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: No parole electric chair.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, do you want to go?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: You go with one of yours.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now I I feel I can say this because I don't know if everyone knows adjusted a high rox.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, but it's not my whole personality.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of a two-and-wanna.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: People who make their whole personality, either high rocks or crossfit, get in the bin.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to hear about it.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But men who do high rox or run topless.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you've got a cracking board, Glenn Powell, maybe he's the exception.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone else, put your shirt on.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: If women can run with a top on or a sports bar on, who's running without a sports bra?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Knock yourself out.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Me.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if men, if women can do it, why can't men?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it really and I don't know why.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: It just and I know everyone's like, oh yeah, you'll find your future husband at Hyrox because they're all running shirtless.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It literally gives me the ick.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to see the sweat dripping off your body whilst you're putting yourself through that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Which by the way isn't enjoyable.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't recommend Hyrox to anyone.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you're thinking about it, don't do it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Just a caveat to that.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think it's because when they run for so long their nipples chafe?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: But you wouldn't have to be.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you think it's just pick me?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit pick me energy.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: But you can get men titty tape.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's a thing.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Someone I used to play hockey with.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Men titty tape.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: But someone I used to play hockey with, his nipples used to shave.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So he used to put, I think he just used to put plasters on them.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, is there any male high-roxers?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you not wearing a shirt?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Please let us know.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: If there's a reason behind it, I'm a bit more okay with it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but also if you're sweating, I sweat a lot during high rox, it's awful.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I like to be able to use my top to wipe my brow.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's or you know, if you had a sweat band, very 80s, but yeah, men who do high-rox topplers, nats know from me.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: A couple more that really cracked me up that got submitted.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Velcro shoes.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: You like trainer.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's very six-year-old energy.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Trainers.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Those Lonsdale ones that used to velcro across the top.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or that you wear bowling.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: If your shoes, if your feet are too small because you can't have laces.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then another very good friend of ours, her Well, I'm curious to know who.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Her immediate ick is men who wear dressing gowns.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be their own dressing gown, your dressing gown if you're dating, because then it just looks too short.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope nobody's wearing my the only dressing gown I have is the one that I wear when I fake tan.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if anybody's wearing a gown, then you're gonna smell like biscuits.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Your Barney the dinosaur one.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously we've got loads more, but we can only do a few.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we want more, give us give us them.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes with a bit of context, is helpful.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just because Ix is ix is so specific person to person.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, yeah.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's only a few that I've read that I've been like, oh okay, they're the same as me, or what the hell?
• 9:52
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Already love.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right, I've prepared a game.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Red flag, green flag.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna read out a scenario, and I want you to tell me whether it's a red flag or green flag.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Very straightforward.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna dissect it.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so scenario number one.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're on a first date and they order for you without asking, they just confidently tell the waiter what you're having.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can see the rage in your eyes already.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Immediate red.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Immediate red.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you order me something stupid, like a rum and coke, and then I don't know, fucking some steak with bechamel sauce or something.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want the Caesar salad without anchovies, I want a Vespa martini, and possibly a massive pasta dish.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, can't be trusted.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: First date, you don't know me.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think for me, it's giving controlling vibes, and I'm not I'm not about that.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you really know someone well and you're on a date, so you're maybe like 10 dates in, and they go to the bar, you're running slightly late, and they've ordered you a drink, but it's like they know you by this point and they know what you like.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even then, I prefer I'm too much of a control freak.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I would prefer to be able to say what I'd like to have.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: I my argument is I know you well.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: We've known each other for a long time, and I wouldn't do that for you.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't order me a pint at a pub?
• 11:15
  unknown: No, uh a pub at a pint at a pint.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: I would, but sometimes I'm unsure about what you want, whether you're feeling a Volka soda or a Volca lemonade and lime or whatever.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Which is valid.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or you want the pint.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's red flag.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's too they want it to come across as romantic, but I think it's domineering.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it gives me controlling energy, and I'm I'm not about that.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So no from me.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: They always reply with long, thoughtful messages, but take six to eight hours to respond every single time.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put this out there.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's neither red nor green.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's more verging on green.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: The reason I say that is I think there's so much social pressure now with blue ticks.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's rage bait for you.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Blue ticks on messages and people expecting people to instantly reply to everything, instantly acknowledge what you're doing.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody like everyone's too accessible, and I hate it.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, in some ways, if somebody's put some thought into their response, I would rather that than have someone that's constantly back and forth.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I actually hate texting altogether, controversial, putting it out there.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm not about that.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Either, if it's like, well, side note, when people say, How are you in a message?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm much more of a quality time face-to-face kind of gal.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't really like the long back and forth on text.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're not pen pals, I don't want to be texting someone, I'd rather be spending time with someone.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, but if you were to ask me, take my personal views out of it, I would say that is that's green flag energy because they're actually putting some thought into it.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: But we can't all expect that everybody like some people still have jobs, so they have to lock their phones away.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have that, but some people do, so you can't expect someone to reply to you instantly.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the only time you would want a pen pal.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: If you were in prison.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Would you be my pen pal?
• 13:10
  unknown: Thank you.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be in there with me.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so next scenario.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: On date two, they tell you everything.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Family trauma, their last relationship, their biggest insecurities, full emotional download.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Go.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: My honest opinion.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Eat shit and die.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: We've had so much trauma between us, and I'm not I'm not even telling like people I've known in the bloody pub for however long.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Let alone someone on a second date.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's a bit too much for date two, I think.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's a little bit of the trigger for me.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Just this is why, just for future reference.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: If they go, yeah, okay, fully understand, won't do it again, you know it's a green flag.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when people just want to dump and talk about exes and stuff like that, immediate effect.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to your therapist about it, not to be on date two.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: Also, just don't fucking date.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I my view on it is if you're really gonna share your emotional trauma with someone, you need to feel emotionally safe with that person.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can't feel that after date two.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Red flag.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I know you're gonna hate this one.
• 14:30
  unknown: Okay.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: They've cancelled plans on you three times.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Each reason has been completely legitimate and they always reschedule immediately, but it is still three times.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm torn on this because I hate people who cancel.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like people who aren't reliable, it irks me.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: If it's legitimate and they've asked to like really quickly, they've suggested a new date.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm thinking of this with my friend hat on as well.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if that's a friend that did that, then I'm okay with that.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: If this is in a dating perspective.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, no, in the bin.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't know.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a bit more fair.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think if it oh yeah, if it is legit and they've suggested a new date, they'd have to be absolutely exceptional for me to reconsider.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Caveat, what qualifies as legitimate?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: My dog got run over.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Dark.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, that's I'd let someone rearrange for that.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: What happens if they say their grandma died, but she actually died a year ago?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, in the bin.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: See you later.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I think even with friends, everybody knows I hate people who cancel plans.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: My my biggest irk, and you've kind of saved it by saying, but they suggested a new date, is when people go, Oh, I'm really sorry I can't make it.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no there's no suggestion of a follow-up.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's like a red rag to a bull for me.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it, and I will cut you off.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like fool me once, fall on you.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Fall me twice, fall on you.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Did that make sense?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Shame on me.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Shame on you.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: For me once, shame on.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, for me once, shame on Wait.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: We are not cutting that! For me once.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Shame on me.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: For me twice, shame on you.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Land your plane.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Land your plane.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You find out through a mutual friend that they looked you up on LinkedIn before your first date.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is a touchy subject for me.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because obviously someone did look me up on LinkedIn.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: What are you trying to find out?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Professional background, education, hobbies and interests.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Cool, join the FBI.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like just find someone on social media, no?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I guess it's an extra platform.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's a red flag.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a weird flag.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of it's a weird flag because it kind of sets the tone.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you haven't just looked them up on Facebook and gone, oh look, we have mutual friends.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: You're looking at like their whole career.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Which is a bit weird.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's red.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would say beige, maybe.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe beige flag.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Not fucking green.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, absolutely not green.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think I look at people on LinkedIn all the time because of my job.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but that's your job.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I would find it not weird if I did it to someone else, but if someone did it to me, really double standards, and I'm not sorry.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Someone did it to me, I'd find it weird.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd be able to see that someone's looked at me, but I've also got premiums.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you try and go into ghost mode, I'll see you.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'll know you're looking at me.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: You see when I look at you.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: But it I see you.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is a bit a bit weird.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Is anybody doing that?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like what you should just say.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I think, like you said, what you should do is you almost do like the social media check of is this person normal?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: But only that only works if they have a public account.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess, yeah, if somebody's going to fall out behind me.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Way to go to LinkedIn.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna play a game of Would You Rather?
• 17:54
  unknown: Okay.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, would you rather find out that your partner has been lying about their age or their job?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Job.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hang on, wait, I haven't thought that through.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Mother may I.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um would I rather they lay were they were lying about their age or their job?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, job.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because if someone's lying about I mean, someone's lying about their age, it's I mean I've been there.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: But quarter now.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: A year or two give or take is fine.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: What's a year amongst friends?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm talking like, let's say they say they're 35 and actually they're 43.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas jobs, they could just say, oh, I'm a PT, when actually I don't know.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're M I5.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Got it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: I know the fucking answer to this.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean you might think that you do.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking know, mate.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have to wear a wedding dress or a suit every day for a year?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Or speak in a different accent that isn't yours forever?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I d know the answer to this.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now I love a trouser suit.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: However, I fucking love an accent.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think in another lifetime I would have been born Aussie.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Would you?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: We'll allow it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: We'll allow it.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather be famous for something embarrassing or completely unknown for something amazing?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you could have shit your pants in public, for example.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Why'd you go there?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna answer that.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or you could have invented the whi-Wi-Fi.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Toaster Strittle.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Toaster Strittle.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm going to go with the latter.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to go unknown.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because no, I don't want to be known for shitting myself in public or Go on, Paula Radcliffe.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: What a woman.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Not being kissed on the Megatron sub fucking American device when you're at a baseball game.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or at a Coldplay concert.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I also think like uh things blow over.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so something embarrassing might happen, but like how Memes are forever.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Memes are forever, but and so are gifts.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: But you can easily spin that into a positive.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's a positive way out of that.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Is there?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: What that you're backing to.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, where's the where's the girl that I'm gonna sing Shadeloyd by Shadow Lloyd?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where's she now?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where is she now?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right in.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let us know where you are.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I'd love to know where she is.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um by the way Which one have you has?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Which one have you has done a shot and I'll flush that?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fucking disgusting!
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: What woman?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Would oh this is Frank.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather give up showering for a month or give up brushing your teeth for a month?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Showering?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'd have a bath.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Who's not brushing their teeth?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I think that means just not washing for a month in general, loves.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I've paid a lot of money to have invisalign.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not an ad.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't ad.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not an ad, paid for that myself.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's no way that you're seeing me putting furry retainers in my mouth.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Nah-uh, honey.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, but it you it what I'm saying is you can't then go, oh well I'll have a bath instead.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think the whole point Like river swim.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm finding ways around this.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm body spraying with Lynx Africa.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: End up in hospital with Giardia or something.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to a fresh fresh free-flowing river.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not not brushing my teeth.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so we're now gonna scoot on to things our exes did to us and unfortunately stayed.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh do you want me to go first?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's do it.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Stayed out all night and said he slept in a train station because he missed the last train.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: But also maybe keep the door unlocked because he was, and I quote, coming home.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, give over.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: You've not slept at the train station.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly more.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Who's not getting a taxi?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shut up, you hole.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Dirty little stop out.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Dirty.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not about that.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Dirty little pig.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't actually have loads of these.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank Mary Mother and George.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've been quite lucky.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the ones I do have aren't great.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um remember during COVID when there were loads of dog thefts?
• 22:22
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: So poor little baby Brian almost got stolen from me on a dog walk.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the ironic thing was I was walking at dusk, not in the dark, to avoid any lone men.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um, this man popped up.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, this got really dark, it's not the vibe.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, this man popped up out of the grass, um, like walked towards me like the Terminator.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've never seen anything like it.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: I like obviously quickly darted off.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Scuttle, scuttle, brain off we go.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Joined a family who were on the evening walk, and they were like, What's going on?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, That man's following me.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, Why?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Because he wants to see all my dog.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, it kinda didn't really hit me until I got home, and then I was like, you know, like the adrenaline takes over.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and anyway, so I called my now ex for obvious reasons and said, Oh my god, this has just happened.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was like in a state of shock, like terrified, was scared to walk the dog and just in complete shock.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and during this time he worked away in the week, but was within an hour and a half's drive and did not come home.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: What dickhead?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think understood the severity of it.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until I said, Bless my dad.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Go on, Papa Clem.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Go on, Papa Clem.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: My dad turned up the next morning.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Was it the next morning or that night?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, my dad was there at my aid and walked with me the next morning so we could walk the dog together so that I felt safe.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was an absolute nervous wreck.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not an anxious Annie at all, and I was in a bad way.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Even now, this this was six years ago.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And even even now, I don't like walking the dog on my own at night.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like super aware of everyone.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: I won't walk with headphones in, trust no one.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone on their own who's not walking a dog.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Weird.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm suspicious of you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I see you.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyway, yeah, so I'd say that's probably shout out to Papa Clem.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what a guy.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we sat and watched Moolan the next day, and it was 10 out of 10.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get down to business.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let's have it.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Used to check through my suitcases before I went away, even if I was going on holiday with him, to check what I had packed.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: So anything was a bit too racy.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I know.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Even if we're going on a couple's holiday, it's demented.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean it's This is the same guy that stayed out all night, by the way.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god! Control freak to the max.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: So controlling! No, no, thank you.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, right, I've got another dog-related one.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Go for it.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Go on, Bryn.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Brynn jumped out of the first floor window.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, you couldn't write it.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, broke his leg, and again, my ex-partner was away, this time doing a sporting event.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um sporting event?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And despite the fact that the dog got driven into the emergency vets, had to stay overnight, yadda yadda yadda.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, didn't come home for about a week.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: God, this guy has a total cock end.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, where is he now?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Where's the dog?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Gornbrin.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: He stayed with me.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Big shout out to Brian.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go on, he brings us lots of entertainment and vet bills.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna die at this one.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Cheated on me at a beer festival with a girl I knew.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I wouldn't get back with him, so he egged my mum's house.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry! He egged her house! Were you living there at the time?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was out with friends and my mum called me.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Oh god! Um that little crony and his friends have just come and egged my house, and I was like, cool.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's giving this country energy with plumbing.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'll plumb your house.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'll plumb you, alright.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, alright.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh you're for mum! That's so savage.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you living with her at the time?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was before I went to uni.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, what a pig.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, this is my last one, and and probably the most gross.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now I will caveat this by saying, I did not date this guy for very long.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna know who it is?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so the guy I was dating had been living in his house for three months.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: And still had not put a bed together.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was a mattress on the floor, and might I add, there were dead flies everywhere.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was the most disgusting house I've ever been in.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I will shame you for being dirty, you dutty duty pig.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Horrendous.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Horrendous.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Who's letting dead flies just live all over the floor?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: This guy.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Gross.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: This fucking guy.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: So gross.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um a tantrum and threw a block of cheese and a cheese grater at me because I went out with friends instead of making him dinner.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I have.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Horrendous.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Also, blocks of cheese are heavy.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's dense.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I bruised from.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, when I say it was family science.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's a large mature cheddar.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Extra mature cheddar.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, have you got any more online?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Keep me going, because this is so much.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is the point where you keep going.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: But also, if anyone has any stories like this.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, things your ex did to you, and you stayed, even if you stayed for a little bit and then went, I'm on my way out, just give it to us.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: We we want to hear them.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, used to yell at me for coughing when I was unwell.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, you know, you You can't have a heart, man! You go to bed.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the minute you lie down when you've got a cold, you're like, eh.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because all your poor little bronchioles can't move all the yellow.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your sillier hairs can't move the mucus.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: So they're there going, ah! So you've got to cough it up.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: New egg.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Me, you silly hairs.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Study level, A-level biology, don't know if you know.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um failed it.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: This one I I so angry about still now.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: Made me pack up and move our entire house, so furniture, clothes, everything, and move into the new one, you know who I'm talking about.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: On my own, and then got angry when I asked my male friends to help me move the heavy furniture because I wasn't going to be able to do it on my own.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Not one ounce of help.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Only stopped in to see how how I was doing, and then would drive off.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where was he doing all of this?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you think?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Staying at the train station.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: What a pig.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've got one I'm finished with a Q1.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is an absolute fucking clanger.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Played Candy Crush during my sister's wedding ceremony.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Good god.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then when we sat for the wedding breakfast, he threw my maid of honour bouquet out the window because, and I quote, hates the smell of flowers.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Very expensive bouquet.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then started an argument with a friend at said wedding about breastfeeding.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: She was a midwife, obviously knew a shitload about it, um, and then had to go at me for not standing up for him.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, in the biggest reading the piece.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, left the wedding and drove home without me.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's a reason he's an ex.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: What a pin.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Top tier.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Zero out of ten.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right, we're gonna play a quick game to wrap it up of this or that.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I want quick fire answers.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: Gladiators ready.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, no hesitation.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: No hesitation.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: You ready?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, are you ready?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: First eight drinks or first eight dinner?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: Drinks.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Beach holiday or city break?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Holiday.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh beach.
• 29:28
  unknown: Ha ha!
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Night out or night in.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Depends on my mood, baby, but I'm gonna say night out.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Spicy food that destroys you or bland food forever?
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: Bland food.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I know you too well.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: Main character or supporting role?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, main character energy.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're giving main character energy.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Give it to me.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Love.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Turn now.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm concerned.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna play my pants.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna lose the job.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm claustrophobic, Tara.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um Are you ready?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: Win the lottery or find your dream career.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Win the lottery.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: No hesitation.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Next one.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Overshare or vault?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Overshare.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a massive overshare.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: But we have a vault.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, I know, but we both have a vault.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not someone who holds back.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Never shower but always smell fine.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or shower daily but always feel slightly sticky.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'll take being sticky.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: I like a shower.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Unless I can have the caveat of never shower but I can have a bath.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Move abroad or stay close to family.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Move abroad.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Bye! Bye, Felicia! That shout out to Papa Clem earlier.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Date his friend or his enemy.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is very quick.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Friend.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: It'll hurt my.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'd go enemy.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Would you?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, but if it's their friend, then they have to hear about it.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but if it's their enemy, it's like that's enjoyable.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there you go.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's it for this week's chaos.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you've laughed, felt seen, or are now reconsidering your life choices, our job here is done.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to send in your mess for next Friday.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: The pettier the better.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Same time.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Same energy.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Stay toxic.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: But like self aware toxic.