Latest / Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers / 152: The Secret Super Power of Empaths & Highly Sensitive People That No One is Talking About!

Transcript

152: The Secret Super Power of Empaths & Highly Sensitive People That No One is Talking About! · Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers

• 0:20
  Well, hello and welcome back.
• 0:22
  My name is MaryAnn Walker and I'm the life coach for empaths and highly sensitive people.
• 0:26
  And today we're going to be talking about a very specific superpower that you might not know that you have.
• 0:31
  In fact, today's episode, it might completely change how it is that you show up in life, and it might completely change how it is that you experience the world around you.
• 0:42
  I talk a lot here on the podcast about how your sensitivity is a gift, and it truly is, but I'm not sure I've explicitly told you about this specific superpower that you have, and this is the ability to actually influence those around you.
• 0:58
  We talk a lot for empaths and highly sensitive people about shielding, about grounding, about keeping other people's energies out.
• 1:05
  But essentially, the reason why grounding and shielding is so important is because we haven't yet learned how to navigate our own emotional responses.
• 1:12
  So we are essentially going through life reacting to those around us.
• 1:16
  But when you become an empowered empath, an empowered highly sensitive person, not only are you less susceptible to the energies of those around you, but you also increase your own personal capacity to influence those around you for good.
• 1:32
  So as we talk about this, I want you to kind of think of it in terms of being a thermometer versus a thermostat.
• 1:37
  I do have another episode on this, honestly, I can't remember what all I said in it, but I will link it in the show notes if you want to dive a little bit deeper.
• 1:43
  But a thermometer, the purpose of a thermometer is to determine the temperature of the space.
• 1:48
  When we are not fully developed in our own abilities, when we're not confident and capable in navigating our own emotions, we are more sensitive to other people.
• 1:56
  We're making them the priority.
• 1:58
  So that's when we're essentially mirroring back and matching other people's energy.
• 2:01
  That is the thermometer energy.
• 2:04
  We're walking into a room and saying, okay, this is where we're at today.
• 2:07
  All right, I'll meet you right there.
• 2:09
  We're matching other people's energy.
• 2:11
  However, the thermostat energy is a bit different.
• 2:13
  Thermostat energy determines the temperature in the room.
• 2:18
  So when you walk into a space, you can actually influence the energies of those all around you.
• 2:24
  You can raise the frequencies of not only the space, but the people in the space.
• 2:29
  Now, to illustrate this, I want to share a really fascinating study that they did on this very thing.
• 2:34
  And what they did in this experiment was they called someone up from the audience to just read a page from a book.
• 2:40
  And as they read this page in the book, then the other volunteers on the front row, they had them stand up and they would muscle test them, meaning that they would have them put their arm out and someone would press on their arm to see if their energy was strong or weak.
• 2:53
  Now, if you're interested more in muscle testing, let me know.
• 2:56
  I can do an episode on that, but essentially it's testing the energy of the person.
• 3:00
  It's not their physical strength that is being tested, but it is their energetic strength that is being tested.
• 3:06
  So as this person is reading on the stage, they're testing everybody in the audience and they're seeing that they're all testing weak.
• 3:14
  The reader's energy has influenced those that they're listening to.
• 3:18
  So if you are a presenter, if you've ever been in that space and you've kind of felt like, boy, I just wasn't really feeling heard or seen in that moment, it may be because your own personal energy was off.
• 3:29
  Now, in this study, then after they tested in that way, then they did a little bit of work on the person.
• 3:35
  And this was just very minimal work.
• 3:36
  They did just a few little tips and tricks that I'm going to share a few of them with you here, but they did a few things to influence the energy of the reader, to make their energy a little bit stronger, a little bit more solid, a little bit more secure.
• 3:50
  Then they had them stand up in front of the same group and read another passage.
• 3:55
  And this time, even though they're still just reading a page in a book they've never read before, they're just reading, but then the people in the audience, when they tested them again, they all tested strong.
• 4:06
  doing their own work to strengthen their own energy, actually influenced the energy of those around them for the better.
• 4:14
  This is why coming to coaching, why learning more about how to navigate your gifts truly is a gift, not only for you, but for those around you.
• 4:22
  I know personally that a lot of empaths and highly sensitive people, they often put off their own work because they're so consumed with doing work for other people.
• 4:31
  They think, well, I can put that off.
• 4:32
  It's kind of like exercise, right?
• 4:34
  Well, I don't need to get my workout in because this is more important, but then we're neglecting our own health and our own strength.
• 4:41
  And the same is true for our energy.
• 4:44
  It is vitally important to take that time for self care, to invest into self so that you can be your best and highest self, because it truly does benefit the world around you when you step into that energy.
• 4:59
  So, now that you know that it truly can impact those around you, I want to share with you just three things that you can do right now to really significantly influence your own personal energy as well as the energy of those around you to help you to stand in that thermostat energy.
• 5:17
  So the first one is to just strike a power pose.
• 5:20
  You've probably seen these power poses on the internet.
• 5:23
  If you're on YouTube, I'll kind of show you, well, this much of some of these power poses, but you can absolutely Google these and see what power poses resonate with you.
• 5:32
  Um, a very popular one is stretching your feet and your arms out in a V.
• 5:37
  So on your arms, it's going to be a right side up V.
• 5:39
  Your legs are going to be upside down V and just standing.
• 5:43
  in that empowered energy for about two minutes is kind of what they've determined to be the magic number.
• 5:49
  Standing like this for two minutes and just feeling into that energy.
• 5:54
  Another very popular one is the superman pose where you're putting your hands on your hip with your legs kind of spread out in a wider stance and just feeling into that energy as well.
• 6:05
  Now, this is just two minutes of standing in one of those power poses.
• 6:09
  So you might want to do this maybe as you're getting ready in the morning, just take a couple minutes to stand in that pose.
• 6:15
  I know some people that before they're going on stage or before they're recording a podcast or before they're presenting in some way.
• 6:22
  They might go into a bathroom stall for a little while and just hold one of these poses to help to shift their energy.
• 6:29
  And these studies have shown that holding a power pose for just these two minutes, it really can shift your own energy.
• 6:34
  So you can use this before social events, before presentations, before any situation where you want to radiate presence and confidence and don't take my word for it.
• 6:45
  Like I said, try it out and see if it works for you.
• 6:48
  Maybe if you have children in your home, maybe this is something you want to do as a family is hold a power pose for two minutes before everybody leaves in the day and just see how it influences how it is that they're showing up at school, how it is that they're showing up in relationships with others.
• 7:02
  It can be kind of just a fun thing to just try out.
• 7:06
  All right.
• 7:06
  Tip number two is decide ahead of time, how it is that you want to show up instead of waiting for the room's energy to dictate your own energy, set a clear intention going into this event or this gathering and make it measurable for you so that you can follow through.
• 7:24
  Okay, too many people, they think, okay, well, I'll decide how I feel once I get there.
• 7:29
  They're going into it with the intention of allowing other people to dictate how they show up.
• 7:35
  And yes, it's good to be adaptable and to have that psychological flexibility.
• 7:39
  And also, it's very important to make it measurable for yourself.
• 7:43
  So you know, when you showed up well.
• 7:45
  There's a lot of times when I'm coaching people when they say, well, I kept being nice and then the other person kept being rude.
• 7:51
  And it's like, okay, so when you look at your own actions, how did you show up?
• 7:55
  Okay, that's about you.
• 7:57
  Don't allow that other person's reaction to you to dictate how you feel about yourself because it may have nothing to do with you.
• 8:04
  They probably just decided that, you know what, I'm just going to be grumpy today.
• 8:08
  Right?
• 8:08
  We've met a lot of people like that where they're just going to be grumpy and it doesn't matter how kind you are, how accommodating you are.
• 8:15
  They're just going to be grumpy and that has nothing to do with you.
• 8:17
  So make it measurable for yourself.
• 8:20
  Some ways that you can do this is maybe before going into an event, you tell yourself, okay, I'm going to make it measurable for me because I'm going to go in, I'm going to smile and I'm going to introduce myself to somebody new.
• 8:31
  Then it's measurable for me.
• 8:32
  Or maybe you'll say, okay, I'm going to go in and I'm going to ask three thoughtful questions during this conversation in order to increase my connection here.
• 8:41
  So that's how it's going to be measurable for me.
• 8:43
  Maybe they'll respond to my questions, maybe they won't.
• 8:46
  But I will know that for me, I'm going to have three questions prepared that I can ask them and that will let me know that I am showing up well.
• 8:53
  Maybe you say, okay, to make it measurable for me, I'm going to keep my phone in my purse so that I can stay present and engaged.
• 9:00
  And that's one thing that I can do where I can know, okay, that was me being more present and engaged, right?
• 9:06
  You're being proactive about that.
• 9:08
  You're deciding ahead of time how it is that you want to show up.
• 9:12
  And this really small shift, it keeps you in control of your own energy rather than reacting to the room.
• 9:20
  Okay.
• 9:20
  You're being solid.
• 9:21
  You're being secure.
• 9:23
  All right.
• 9:23
  And tip number three is prioritize self care and mindful investments.
• 9:28
  So when your own personal needs are met, then you're able to show up as your best self and that benefits everyone.
• 9:35
  So part of self care is choosing where it is that you want to invest your energy.
• 9:41
  A lot of my listeners, they say yes to everything because they believe that if I'm highly accommodating of everybody else, then my needs will be met.
• 9:49
  And a lot of them are struggling with the realization now that, boy, I really invested a lot, and not much came back in, and now I'm feeling resentful.
• 9:57
  So be mindful of that, that resentment is not going to be increasing the frequency of the space.
• 10:02
  Okay.
• 10:03
  It's okay and sometimes it's the kindest thing that you can do to tell someone no.
• 10:08
  So say no to things when you can't give it a wholehearted yes.
• 10:12
  Maybe you want to avoid intentionally spreading yourself so thin that you have little to offer for yourself, right?
• 10:19
  If you're putting off your own self care for other people, it's not going to be sustainable.
• 10:23
  You can do this every now and then and have it be okay.
• 10:26
  But when it's become a pattern of behavior for you, you're doing that at your own risk and it does not benefit those around you either.
• 10:33
  Maybe you want to focus on just a few key moments where you can show up fully rather than trying to do it all.
• 10:38
  so recognizing, okay, I have five events happening this month.
• 10:41
  I think that I could reasonably do two or three of them and then be okay with saying no to the others.
• 10:50
  So, Remember that you have more power than you realize.
• 10:54
  You are not just impacted by other people's energy, but you can also impact those around you.
• 11:01
  These small shifts in your posture, in your intention, in your own personal self care, they can completely transform how it is that you show up and how others experience you.
• 11:11
  So just imagine what could change if you just stepped into your own power starting today.
• 11:18
  So your challenge for this week is to pick one of these strategies that I've shared with you and intentionally apply it for the next few days.
• 11:25
  And just notice any changes.
• 11:27
  Maybe you want to journal on it.
• 11:28
  Notice any shifts that you experience in your own experience or maybe in your interactions with others or how other people are receiving you...
• 11:35
  journal on what is getting you the results that you're looking for, right?
• 11:38
  Notice the influence that you have on other people when you set that intention to create influence to intentionally increase the vibration of the space and the people around you, because you truly do have that as a gift.
• 11:55
  If you want to learn how to harness your energy for deeper confidence and connection, come and work with me.
• 12:02
  There is a link in the show notes where you can book a free consultation call.
• 12:05
  This just gives us 20 minutes where you and I can chat and see if we would be a good fit for each other.
• 12:10
  I can answer any questions that you have, or I can just coach you for 20 minutes.
• 12:14
  This is an absolutely free call, so take advantage, come and work with me.
• 12:18
  I would love to work with you.
• 12:20
  And also, please don't forget to subscribe.
• 12:22
  I'm going to be putting out more content here, of course, every week.
• 12:24
  I'm now over 150 episodes in.
• 12:26
  I'm going to keep showing up for you and offering you support.
• 12:30
  So make sure that you're subscribed so that you can get that support that you're looking for.
• 12:34
  All right.
• 12:34
  Well, I hope you have a great week and let's talk soon.
• 12:36
  Bye now.