Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / In The Midst of Healing with Michael V. Ledo

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In The Midst of Healing with Michael V. Ledo · Just Heal with Dr Jay

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jesshill with Doctor J, a production of The
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Speaker 1: Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to Jess
0:07
Speaker 1: Hill with Doctor J. I am excited about today's guest,
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Speaker 1: My good brother and friend, Mike Lito, phenomenal business manager,
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Speaker 1: family office. I mean, this brother is doing some amazing
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Speaker 1: thing for professional athletes. He doing a lot of things
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Speaker 1: and different business ventures. Man, And I'm just excited brother,
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Speaker 1: for my audience and for individuals, whether they're in business,
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Speaker 1: whether they're athletes, whether they're parents of athletes. Man to
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Speaker 1: hear the wealth of wisdom that you have from a
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Speaker 1: financial perspective, and then hopefully we get into the conversation
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Speaker 1: of how important is mental health for the athletes that
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Speaker 1: you work with.
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Speaker 2: But you man, welcome man.
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Speaker 1: Before we even get into man, listen, good Brother's good
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Speaker 1: to see you man.
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Speaker 3: Likewise, Man, you know, you my guy. You know one
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Speaker 3: of the brothers I admired or most of my life.
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Speaker 3: And I'm honored to be on your set. I'm happy
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Speaker 3: for you and look forward to having real conversations that
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Speaker 3: you and I have often, yes, but more you know,
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Speaker 3: and now we're sharing the wisdom, we're sharing the authenticity
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Speaker 3: that brother the conversations that brothers like you and I
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Speaker 3: can have.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, And I think you know what I
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Speaker 1: love about our relationship, man, is there's so many different
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Speaker 1: dimensions of it.
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Speaker 2: You know.
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Speaker 1: There's times we're coming together talking about business. There's times
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Speaker 1: that we're talking about our walk with Christ. There's times
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Speaker 1: that we're talking about just life in general. And then
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Speaker 1: there's times that we're just talking about what is it
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Speaker 1: like to be a man? And I want to I
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Speaker 1: want to start there in today's culture for you, in
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Speaker 1: the dram of business that you're in. What is it
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Speaker 1: like man to be a man?
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Speaker 2: For you? What does that mean for you?
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Speaker 3: Oh? Man? You know, it's like the the past couple
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Speaker 3: of years have been a unique evolution for me.
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Speaker 2: You know.
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Speaker 3: You know when I was raised by my uncles and
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Speaker 3: my father, and my biggest icon of my life was
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Speaker 3: my grandfather.
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 3: You know, so my grandfather was a man's man, you know,
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Speaker 3: owned his own cement company, you know, back when I
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Speaker 3: was in Indiana and he was in that mail course
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Speaker 3: choir you know all that, and so it was that
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Speaker 3: throwback and for me, he was one of those people
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Speaker 3: and the men in my life, they showed me love
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Speaker 3: through being present and through actions but not through words.
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 3: And so this whole thing of like I guess you
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Speaker 3: could say, emotion has been something in the past two
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Speaker 3: years for me that I've been trying to tap into
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Speaker 3: that typically, you know, I just ain't really tap into
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Speaker 3: so I think. But for me, man, you know, it's
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Speaker 3: being a what you always here, right, being a provider,
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Speaker 3: being a protector, being a visionary, being a leader. To me,
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Speaker 3: we want to create and cultivate, you know, so that
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Speaker 3: we can lead and create for our families and solve problems.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Do you think when it comes to solving problems that
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Speaker 1: most men lack the ability to solve problems?
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Speaker 3: Probably? Yeah, I would think so, because that is a
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Speaker 3: skill set learned and learned and practiced and sharpens. And
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Speaker 3: so if you really, just like anything else, if you
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Speaker 3: haven't been in close proximity of someone who does that
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Speaker 3: very well and does that very thoughtful, and you haven't
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Speaker 3: been around people who can regulate their emotions, you know,
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Speaker 3: because it's hard to solve problems and chaos and emotion
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Speaker 3: from my perspective at least, And so I think it's
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Speaker 3: difficult for a lot of us.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think one of the reasons that it's difficult,
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Speaker 1: as you alluded to that most men are not in
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Speaker 1: proximity of problem solvers. They're often in proximity with individuals
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Speaker 1: who are creating problems, and very few times do they
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Speaker 1: associate themselves with individuals who provide solutions to the problems
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Speaker 1: that have been created. And I think it's very challenging
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Speaker 1: for men mentally and emotionally if all I've ever seen
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Speaker 1: was a problem creator and I didn't see a problem solver.
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Speaker 1: But I'm in a world and a society that judged
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Speaker 1: me by the ability to solve a problem. But I
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Speaker 1: don't have a model for that. And I think about
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Speaker 1: brothers not having a model, and thinking about young boys
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Speaker 1: not having an example.
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Speaker 2: That means that mentorship is imperative.
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Speaker 3: It is, it's everything because you know, especially for us,
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Speaker 3: is black men with physical specimens, right, we have gifts
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Speaker 3: and talents that from an athletic standpoint, You and I
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Speaker 3: both come from that athletic background. I work with athletes,
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Speaker 3: but too many times we are not developed to be
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Speaker 3: independent thinkers, to be you know, strategical thinkers, to be
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Speaker 3: the problem solvers that we're talking about. It's you know,
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Speaker 3: the physical aspect of who we are, But the greatest
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Speaker 3: aspect of us is what's in our minds. And we
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Speaker 3: have the capacity, but I think that we're indirectly and
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Speaker 3: directly taught that we don't have the capacity. And so
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Speaker 3: I think you got to be able to get into
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Speaker 3: situations and conversations like this that have that iron sharpened
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Speaker 3: and iron. And you know, one of the things I
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Speaker 3: like to say, like with my closest friends, with brothers
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Speaker 3: like you, I don't look for agreement. I look for understanding, right,
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Speaker 3: so through in the conversations, you know, I feel like
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Speaker 3: a lot of the time, the person that leaves a
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Speaker 3: conversation that's wrong has won because you have you have
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Speaker 3: learned something. And a lot of the time when you
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Speaker 3: talk to people, they're always trying to prove it they write.
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Speaker 3: And so I think we can have those conversations of understanding.
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Speaker 3: It's when we expand I'm trying to leave here today
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Speaker 3: learning something from doctor J. Barnett that in a different
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Speaker 3: perspective than what I probably came in with. Yeah, because
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Speaker 3: now I've expanded.
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Speaker 1: And I want to go back to what you said
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Speaker 1: about the iron sharpen and iron uh, and I want
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Speaker 1: to expand this stall for those that are watching, the
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Speaker 1: iron can only be sharpened when it touched metal. Metal
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Speaker 1: has to touch in order to sharpen, and you have
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Speaker 1: to get in the room. You have to get in
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Speaker 1: with the in the relationship. There is a corey, a
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Speaker 1: corresponding action to expanding. Because knowledge just doesn't come to
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Speaker 1: you right. You have to be a reciprocal of it.
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Speaker 1: And I think if we get our young men and
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Speaker 1: just men in general to be reciprocate of knowledge and
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Speaker 1: reciprocate of information, that would allow them to expand their
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Speaker 1: capacity to discern, their capacity to process, their their capacity
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Speaker 1: to interpret.
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Speaker 2: Because I see a lot of.
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Speaker 1: Young men that I've worked with in the years that
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Speaker 1: i've been i've been providing therapy for males, is there
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Speaker 1: is a inability to interpret correctly. Their interpretations are often
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Speaker 1: very skewed and very It's a bit wayward because most
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Speaker 1: of the times my interpretations are limited because I don't
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Speaker 1: have enough information to make careful observations. So I interpret
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Speaker 1: everything as if well, you don't want me to win. Well,
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Speaker 1: he's never said anything about you win. He just said
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Speaker 1: that you probably need to do it different if you
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Speaker 1: want to sustain your ability to win. And when I'm
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Speaker 1: as I'm talking about this man, where did you learn
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Speaker 1: Because in the work that you do with athletes, who
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Speaker 1: was that person that said, I see where you're going,
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Speaker 1: I want to help you get there, but I also
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Speaker 1: want to expand your thinking from what you're seeing so
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Speaker 1: you can see bigger.
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Speaker 2: Who was that person?
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Speaker 3: Yeah? I had I had several people, but my uncle
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Speaker 3: Virgil Pearson, who just wrote his first book and just
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Speaker 3: challenge me spiritually challenge me on black history and just
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Speaker 3: was one that he would just mail me books out
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Speaker 3: of nowhere. You know, this first book he ever bought me.
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Speaker 3: In the first book I ever read when I was eighteen,
9:08
Speaker 3: was maximized the moment by Bishop cheated TDJS Wow. And
9:12
Speaker 3: my uncle had sent me that from Atlanta, And then
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Speaker 3: I caught that bug and I was rolling, and then
9:19
Speaker 3: I was you know, probably also was my uncle Eugene Parker,
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Speaker 3: who was the first black sports agent. So my uncle
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Speaker 3: has seven Hall of famers, including Dion Sanders and Rod
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Speaker 3: Woodson and you know Emmi Smith and I was in
9:32
Speaker 3: close proximity. I grew up in a man that had
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Speaker 3: a beautiful home with an elevator in it, and he
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Speaker 3: was a very meek individual who was the goat, you know,
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Speaker 3: from a sports agent standpoint, and the first black man
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Speaker 3: to crack that code and get in there. And it's
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Speaker 3: what let me, you know, in close proximity with him.
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Speaker 3: He had me reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad when I was,
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Speaker 3: you know, probably eighteen nineteen, and I'm going to his
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Speaker 3: office and we're talking about and back and forth, and
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Speaker 3: so I just sought him and he would challenge me
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Speaker 3: on so many different factors. I think one of my
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Speaker 3: greatest I remember one of my greatest quotes from him
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Speaker 3: that I hold on to dearly, because you got to
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Speaker 3: imagine at that age, I'm looking at this man and
10:16
Speaker 3: I'm like, you are you know, You're on the front page,
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Speaker 3: You're on the cover of Black Enterprise, you know. And
10:21
Speaker 3: it was a goal of mine because he always had
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Speaker 3: that up with him and Isaiah Thomas and some other people.
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Speaker 3: And I'm going to my uncle Jay and I'm asking
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Speaker 3: him a question and he said to me, he said, Mike,
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Speaker 3: I haven't had enough time to form an opinion. And
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Speaker 3: it was powerful for me because a man that I
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Speaker 3: looked at that had all the answers that I'm seeking
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Speaker 3: to tells me I haven't had enough time to form
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Speaker 3: an opinion. Wow, And but everybody always has an opinion.
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Speaker 3: I always has a thought, you know. And so anyway,
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Speaker 3: so just things like that again encouraged the ability to
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Speaker 3: think and to process for myself, you know. And that's
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Speaker 3: what I try to instill in the guys that I
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Speaker 3: work with. I don't try to control my clients. I
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Speaker 3: try to empower my clients. I try to hold them
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Speaker 3: accountable to what they said they want to do for
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Speaker 3: their communities and their families. But then I also the
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Speaker 3: conversations are just like, yo, are you sure you want
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Speaker 3: to do this? Or why you want to do this?
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Speaker 3: We're gonna always go to the why of what's going
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Speaker 3: on instead of the surface.
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Speaker 1: Do you feel having clear understanding of the why keeps
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Speaker 1: an individual in alignment to the what?
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Speaker 3: That's good? Yes? Yeah, that's heavy. Yeah, because like I
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Speaker 3: heard someone want say, like go five wives D always
11:57
Speaker 3: go five wives DP. Really yeah yeah yeah?
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Speaker 2: Unpacked that for me?
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Speaker 3: Man, Yo, five whys deep is? You know? You know
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Speaker 3: it ain't original mind, like you said, it's always shared
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Speaker 3: iron shopper and iron. But it's like if you if
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Speaker 3: you ask me, if I ask you, why you want
12:11
Speaker 3: to do something with your podcast, or why you want
12:13
Speaker 3: to go into this movie, or why you're gonna go
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Speaker 3: speak at this engagement. I'm gonna ask you why, and
12:19
Speaker 3: then when you tell me why, I'm gonna ask you
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Speaker 3: why again, and I'm gonna ask you why again because
12:25
Speaker 3: we're gonna go to the to the origin or the
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Speaker 3: foundation of really are we really do? Going back from
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Speaker 3: a biblical standpoint, do we know that? We know that?
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Speaker 2: We know? Mm?
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Speaker 1: So when you're when when when you're asking those why,
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Speaker 1: you're really digging for the foundational sort of reasoning of
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Speaker 1: why this.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, one of my one of my clients, I remember
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Speaker 3: a year or two ago said Mike, I want to
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Speaker 3: be a billionaire. I'm like, why you know why? I
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Speaker 3: don't you know why? Explain to me why you know?
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Speaker 3: Share why. Let's get down to the why. What's the
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Speaker 3: drive behind you wanting to be a billion You know?
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Speaker 1: My mentor said something to me in the early years.
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Speaker 1: He said, if you can't tell me why you need it,
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Speaker 1: I never forget it. I was like, no, man, I
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Speaker 1: need like I need like twenty thousand dollars man. Because
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Speaker 1: I was trying to do something in my younger years
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Speaker 1: of working with teenagers, and I said, man, I need
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Speaker 1: like twenty thousand dollars.
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Speaker 2: Man, he said why.
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Speaker 1: He said, if you can't tell me why you need it,
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Speaker 1: then you're not going to get it. He said, you
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Speaker 1: need to be able to be clear on why. So
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Speaker 1: when you get it in your hands, you meet the
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Speaker 1: need and you meet the intention of why you was
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Speaker 1: asking for this money, he said, because the money has
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Speaker 1: to have a direction. If you're asking for the why,
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Speaker 1: there has to be a reason attached to why do
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Speaker 1: you need this? Because they said, he say, you need
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Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars so you can go, you know, you
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Speaker 1: try to go buy a car. He says, I need
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Speaker 1: to know why do you need something? That needs to
14:03
Speaker 1: be clarity on the why. And I think for us
14:07
Speaker 1: there's often not clarity on why we want things. I
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Speaker 1: say this even to people who reach out to me
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Speaker 1: about getting on the stage to speak. Why do you
14:18
Speaker 1: need the stage? I never wanted the stage. In fact,
14:24
Speaker 1: I ran from the stage and I often asked him,
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Speaker 1: I said, do you need the stage because you feel
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Speaker 1: that that is your opportunity to be seen? Because what
14:34
Speaker 1: happens on the stage is that if you're underdeveloped in
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Speaker 1: your character.
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Speaker 2: The stage exposes it.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so if you're not clear on why you want
14:44
Speaker 1: to be on center stage to be a speaker or
14:46
Speaker 1: to do whatever it is that you do, you'll always
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Speaker 1: be exposed on the very thing that you are chasing.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know. And it's interesting because I was in
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Speaker 3: a conversation this week with some people that were very
15:01
Speaker 3: way more intelligent than I am, way more spiritual. I
15:05
Speaker 3: to surround myself around people like that, and they were
15:08
Speaker 3: breaking down the difference between the called and the chosen,
15:12
Speaker 3: and they were breaking down that. You know, as you
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Speaker 3: hear you know, many are called if you are chosen,
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Speaker 3: but when you're chosen, you don't have a choice. You
15:22
Speaker 3: don't right like when you're when you're chosen, you don't
15:26
Speaker 3: have a choice. You gotta you you have to obey
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Speaker 3: the called, have an option. But when you're in that place,
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Speaker 3: if you're chosen, I've always beenshed. I always tell people this.
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Speaker 3: I don't think I'm the best business manager, best business
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Speaker 3: coach in the world, best consultant, I'm best entrepreneur, But
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Speaker 3: I think I'm the best at what I do in
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Speaker 3: the country because I'm the best at what I do
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Speaker 3: for the audience that I'm called to.
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Speaker 2: You gotta say that again, brother.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm the best for the audience that I'm called to.
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Speaker 3: I can speak to that audience and relate to that
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Speaker 3: audience than better than anyone else. Because God has through
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Speaker 3: my years of an athlete, my years as a coach,
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Speaker 3: my years of being a black entrepreneur, an investor, he
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Speaker 3: has prepared me for this moment to be able to relate.
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Speaker 3: And we go back to the mental health. You know,
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Speaker 3: in the perfect world, I just want to look at deals,
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Speaker 3: evaluate businesses, invest in businesses, start businesses, look at portfolio
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Speaker 3: allocations with my clients. But I find myself spending a
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Speaker 3: whole lot more time on the mental health in the
16:43
Speaker 3: development of my brothers. We can't even get to that
16:46
Speaker 3: stuff as young black men. There's a barrier. There's a
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Speaker 3: barrier of trust, in, fear and all all these things
17:01
Speaker 3: because this world of what they're transitioning from an athlete
17:04
Speaker 3: to an entrepreneur, from an athlete to an investor, they
17:09
Speaker 3: wouldn't develop for that. So now there's fear, there is
17:14
Speaker 3: a feeling of inadequacy. You don't understand the language. Who
17:20
Speaker 3: do I trust to teach me this language? Yes, those
17:24
Speaker 3: barriers are so deeply rooted that they will keep our
17:30
Speaker 3: brothers stagnant instead of dynamic. Wow in that.
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Speaker 1: World, because when you are deficient in an area, you
17:42
Speaker 1: look to shield it with whatever you can get your
17:46
Speaker 1: hands on. And for most of those guys, I'm shielding
17:49
Speaker 1: it with my abilities and with my talents. So when
17:53
Speaker 1: I'm at the table and they're talking numbers and they're
17:56
Speaker 1: talking business ventures and they're talking about you know, partnerships
18:01
Speaker 1: and collaboration of those things, I don't understand that language.
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Speaker 1: And I love what you represent for these young black
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Speaker 1: men and for these athletes.
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Speaker 2: Is that you don't know it, but I do.
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Speaker 1: M H. And not only am I going to provide
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Speaker 1: a safe space, I'm also going to provide a pathway
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Speaker 1: for you to have an understanding of what your business
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Speaker 1: is because you're more than just an athlete. You're more
18:28
Speaker 1: than just the exs and the ows. You are a
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Speaker 1: walking business.
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Speaker 3: But the problem, Jay, and why do you need people
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Speaker 3: like you? I need people like you is a lot
18:39
Speaker 3: of the young brothers are afraid to learn. Really yeah, yeah,
18:47
Speaker 3: what they're afraid that they're afraid to learn. They're afraid
18:50
Speaker 3: to learn, especially a lot of the time if it
18:54
Speaker 3: involves their girlfriend and their women or their wife being around.
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Speaker 1: Is do you think there's a fear because I see
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Speaker 1: this often with men. It's a fear of I don't know.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: One of my clients, one of my clients who is
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Speaker 3: probably one of the best entrepreneurs. I work with twelve
19:15
Speaker 3: NFL clients and we manage about two hundred million in
19:18
Speaker 3: assets under advisement and five companies. And my one client,
19:25
Speaker 3: who is probably the best student and the best entrepreneur,
19:28
Speaker 3: is because he's not afraid not to know m He'll
19:33
Speaker 3: walk into any room, He'll walk into any room, billionaire,
19:37
Speaker 3: millionaire entrepreneurs, and he's not ashamed to ask. Can you
19:41
Speaker 3: explain that again? What's that terminology mean? What does that mean?
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Speaker 3: Because he gonna leave knowing.
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Speaker 2: I want to pause because that's a moment for pause.
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Speaker 1: Because one of the things that helped me when I
19:59
Speaker 1: was developing as a speaker, and even when I sat
20:02
Speaker 1: down on Bishop Jakes for six hours.
20:06
Speaker 2: And I was got my.
20:08
Speaker 1: Notebook, Bishops to put that book down. Shit in the
20:11
Speaker 1: moment and I said, well, part of me having this
20:14
Speaker 1: book out because I was trying to get everything I
20:16
Speaker 1: can get, because I realized early. It's that only an
20:22
Speaker 1: empty vessel can be felled. We're often trying to show
20:26
Speaker 1: up as if we're full, but with shallow m and
20:32
Speaker 1: if we showed up empty, we can be filled with
20:35
Speaker 1: something and being able to go into the room and say,
20:39
Speaker 1: I don't know what y'all talking about, but I would
20:41
Speaker 1: love to learn more.
20:43
Speaker 3: When to tell you, also, let me tell you also
20:45
Speaker 3: when you talk about learning more. This is what I
20:47
Speaker 3: also believed Jack. I feel like for the people I served,
20:52
Speaker 3: my brothers, I feel it's more comfortable for them to
20:56
Speaker 3: not know than then though.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess see that it.
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Speaker 3: Has become comfortable not knowing and kind of blindly trusting
21:06
Speaker 3: some people then knowing, because then when you know you're responsible.
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Speaker 1: When you know better, you'll say it's nobody else.
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Speaker 3: I know. I know, I know the process, I understand it,
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Speaker 3: I understand the why. So now I am responsible for
21:26
Speaker 3: the what for, the what for, the outcome for that accountability.
21:31
Speaker 3: And so I think that I'm comfortable with the responsibility
21:36
Speaker 3: of balling on that field. But now I got to
21:39
Speaker 3: be responsible on how we invest this money, how we
21:41
Speaker 3: allocate this money, what business we do. It takes a
21:45
Speaker 3: process of learning. It's a whole new skill that has
21:49
Speaker 3: to be sharpened.
21:51
Speaker 1: When you think about this skill that that that that
21:54
Speaker 1: needs sharpening. For those men that are watching, what would
21:59
Speaker 1: you say to them that are looking to be sharpened
22:04
Speaker 1: but don't know where to start?
22:08
Speaker 2: Man?
22:15
Speaker 3: I would, I would, I would identify one what your
22:24
Speaker 3: purpose is and what you believe your purpose is. And
22:29
Speaker 3: I always say that your passion is for you and
22:31
Speaker 3: your purposes for others. Yeah, it has nothing to do
22:34
Speaker 3: with you. And when you identify what your purpose is,
22:39
Speaker 3: then you need to reverse engineer how do I get there?
22:44
Speaker 3: How do I achieve this right? And then I think
22:47
Speaker 3: you got to create an ecosystem of people absolutely that
22:52
Speaker 3: support you and fulfilling that purpose. And you have to
22:58
Speaker 3: be a learner.
22:59
Speaker 1: You Man, that ecosystem is so important. And so many
23:06
Speaker 1: brothers don't have the ecosystem because they're usually an outcast
23:12
Speaker 1: of some sort. Uh, they're usually a loaners. And most
23:16
Speaker 1: brothers have become withdrawn and not just from society, but
23:21
Speaker 1: from even their their circles, especially if others in the
23:25
Speaker 1: circles have moved on. And one of the biggest burden
23:29
Speaker 1: that I felt early on when I started going to therapy.
23:32
Speaker 1: When I started healing, is I carried this burden of evolving.
23:37
Speaker 3: Well I knew you was Sonna, Well now you not
23:41
Speaker 3: now now now you Now you're going somewhere. Because my
23:49
Speaker 3: favorite movie, one of my favorite movies. You know, you know,
23:52
Speaker 3: you know, we gotta have Denzel. Yeah, but the bookie Eli.
23:57
Speaker 2: Yeah.
23:59
Speaker 3: And I always tell people I gotta walk west. I'm
24:03
Speaker 3: walking west, and I don't care if I'm walking alone.
24:05
Speaker 3: I don't care if I'm blind, because I've been chosen
24:09
Speaker 3: to do something and I gotta do it, whether if
24:11
Speaker 3: you come or not. You can't take everybody to the
24:14
Speaker 3: Promised Land. And so when you are chosen and you
24:18
Speaker 3: feel called to a mission, I always tell people I'm
24:21
Speaker 3: mission over people all day.
24:25
Speaker 1: Gotta be all day, because if you're not, you do
24:29
Speaker 1: what Moses did. You will put the people first because
24:35
Speaker 1: you allow the people to get underneath your skin, cause
24:38
Speaker 1: you to react out of anger. And that was the
24:42
Speaker 1: reason he missed the Promise Land. He missed the Promised
24:46
Speaker 1: Land because he allowed people to corrupt his behavior and
24:52
Speaker 1: he forgot about the mission. So I love that man
24:57
Speaker 1: mission over people.
25:00
Speaker 3: And so I go back to what we said earlier.
25:03
Speaker 3: So when you know that, you know that, you know
25:05
Speaker 3: you get to that why, and then you got to commit,
25:11
Speaker 3: like you have committed to building and developing your craft
25:15
Speaker 3: and becoming the best in the country of what you do.
25:18
Speaker 3: And I love seeing you evolve. But the thing about
25:20
Speaker 3: it is like, man, our insecurities are, you know, our
25:27
Speaker 3: traumas from whatever may be of our childhood, all those
25:31
Speaker 3: different things. It's like if I can't, man, when I
25:34
Speaker 3: celebrate you, if I believe in the principle, I believe
25:37
Speaker 3: in the energy, with God, with the universe, I believe that,
25:43
Speaker 3: like I gotta be able to celebrate you and your successes,
25:46
Speaker 3: and it feeds me. It's being abundant minded versus that
25:50
Speaker 3: whole scarcity of mind, and that fundamentally is a lot
25:55
Speaker 3: of the issue.
25:56
Speaker 1: With us sometimes because what happens is is and particularly
26:01
Speaker 1: I'm seeing this now because I'm almost forty three, and
26:05
Speaker 1: I'm seeing men in their forties struggle. Because if you
26:10
Speaker 1: did not evolve beyond your greatest days, man, that's a
26:16
Speaker 1: whole another episode. You feel as if you have nothing left,
26:22
Speaker 1: and you begin to leave as if everything is gone.
26:26
Speaker 1: Rather than thinking about how do I reinvent, how do
26:29
Speaker 1: I recreate. More importantly, how do I reshape myself?
26:36
Speaker 3: Going back to what you said about evolution, we try
26:41
Speaker 3: to proactively get the athletes that we work with to
26:46
Speaker 3: overcome the fear of learning about investing or learning about entrepreneurship,
26:50
Speaker 3: learning about professionalism instead of being reactive to it. And
26:56
Speaker 3: you know more than anybody. Yeah, I didn't play pro you.
27:00
Speaker 3: You know, I'm trying to get you to to evolve
27:05
Speaker 3: the scene that you're much more than just that before
27:08
Speaker 3: you are reacting to it. And it's it's a man,
27:12
Speaker 3: It is a difficult situation, Yeah, for the brothers to overcome.
27:17
Speaker 3: Just it just really is.
27:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if you enter into it with with without
27:23
Speaker 1: knowing the parameters, without knowing the pitfalls, the hurdles, all
27:29
Speaker 1: of the distractions, all of the sort of trap doors.
27:35
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
27:35
Speaker 1: You you, you, you become this victim to have this
27:38
Speaker 1: similar story that a lot of other individuals have when
27:42
Speaker 1: they enter into that space, because you enter into that
27:44
Speaker 1: space not really knowing and you were not fully prepared.
27:48
Speaker 1: Like I was reading the other day, the story that
27:54
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna call it after these name, there were
27:56
Speaker 1: a few athletes that this this lady was this quote
27:59
Speaker 1: unquote investor, and she took everybody for like ten fifteen
28:03
Speaker 1: to twenty million dollars. And I'm sitting here and I'm
28:06
Speaker 1: listening to this, and I'm thinking to myself, you know,
28:10
Speaker 1: how is it that it happened? But when you think
28:14
Speaker 1: about when you go into this space, you're unfamiliar of
28:17
Speaker 1: the territory, You're unfamiliar of the language. So anything that
28:21
Speaker 1: sounds like hey, I can take this and I can
28:23
Speaker 1: get you a two hundred and three hundred you know
28:25
Speaker 1: the percent return within sixty to eightion days, And I'm thinking, like.
28:29
Speaker 2: That ain't possible.
28:31
Speaker 1: But the reactiveness is that you hear that and you're like,
28:35
Speaker 1: oh yeah, and you jump on it and you look
28:38
Speaker 1: and twenty million dollars are gone. And so having these
28:44
Speaker 1: brothers that are entering too this space, not having the information,
28:50
Speaker 1: and then you're being this liaison to say, you know what,
28:54
Speaker 1: I know, you don't know the space that you going
28:56
Speaker 1: and you know the game, but do you know the
28:59
Speaker 1: game outside of the game?
29:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I don't know about you. I love Kyrie
29:05
Speaker 3: Irving and I was I was listening to Lebron talk
29:09
Speaker 3: about funny Enough Luca on a podcast yesterday. And when
29:15
Speaker 3: you see Luca, you see even Kyrie, people talk about
29:20
Speaker 3: you don't know what they gonna do, like they don't
29:23
Speaker 3: you know how when we play ball, you got those
29:25
Speaker 3: dudes that follow the exact play is textbook. You got
29:28
Speaker 3: to hit the A gap. You're gonna hit the A gap.
29:30
Speaker 3: You're gonna get this. But when someone can create and
29:33
Speaker 3: you don't know how to defend them, you know how
29:34
Speaker 3: to do that. So it's more of an intuition. It's
29:37
Speaker 3: more of a feel of the game. It's more of
29:39
Speaker 3: an instinctual kind of a thing. You train that you
29:42
Speaker 3: develop that on the field, on the court, and those
29:45
Speaker 3: are some of the best people in the world at
29:46
Speaker 3: their respective sport that just have a feel for it.
29:50
Speaker 3: You can't take that into business and investing. So now
29:57
Speaker 3: you're making decisions based on a feeling because you've been
30:01
Speaker 3: trained to do that over here, so you unconsciously may
30:04
Speaker 3: think that's the same way you should do that over here,
30:07
Speaker 3: But over here you want to follow processes due diligence.
30:13
Speaker 3: Analytics come on to help you come to a decision
30:16
Speaker 3: on what you should do, and if you bring that
30:19
Speaker 3: over here, it's not going to produce the same.
30:21
Speaker 1: Outcome man, trying man, listen, trying to recycle something from another.
30:29
Speaker 3: That part, it's two totally different things. It's different terrains.
30:34
Speaker 3: If you've ever read the book or the War, it's
30:36
Speaker 3: a different terrain. You can't go into this terrain with
30:41
Speaker 3: the same approach that you do this terrain. You have
30:44
Speaker 3: to learn a new skills to the new You gotta
30:46
Speaker 3: turn a switch. You can't approach it the same.
30:50
Speaker 1: Is Is that what drives your passion is being able
30:53
Speaker 1: to show these guys how to develop a new skill
30:56
Speaker 1: in a different terrain.
30:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, bro it is. It's my passion. It's
31:01
Speaker 3: what I love is It's it's challenging. It's challenging. You know,
31:07
Speaker 3: sometimes I wish I in my family office, and you know,
31:10
Speaker 3: we govern all their finances, we oversee all the operations.
31:15
Speaker 3: We're educating the families, we're consulting on the businesses that
31:18
Speaker 3: they start from scratch. And sometimes I wish I was
31:21
Speaker 3: dealing with more experienced entrepreneurs and more mature people.
31:25
Speaker 2: Wow.
31:26
Speaker 3: But again that's not my choice.
31:28
Speaker 2: I was chosen. I was chosen for that audience. Man.
31:34
Speaker 1: You know, Mike, as we close, I ask every guest
31:40
Speaker 1: a question. You know to show is titled just Heal,
31:44
Speaker 1: And from what I'm hearing, from what you've shared, your
31:48
Speaker 1: journey has been that of healing not only the athletes
31:52
Speaker 1: that you work with, because there is a healing component
31:56
Speaker 1: to helping these young men understand that they're more than
31:59
Speaker 1: just an hour because you're also healing parts of their
32:02
Speaker 1: hearts because a lot of them didn't have the capacity
32:07
Speaker 1: to trust because of what they feared. As you talked
32:11
Speaker 1: about scarcity. So when you think about healing and it's
32:14
Speaker 1: totality from your own perspective, what does healing means to you?
32:26
Speaker 3: Yeah? Man, I think about my process in the past
32:30
Speaker 3: two years and personally, you know, being divorced. I was
32:37
Speaker 3: married for sixteen years, relocating across the country to move
32:41
Speaker 3: my business to Dallas, which I absolutely loved, but it
32:47
Speaker 3: was a difficult process. You know. I went through a
32:52
Speaker 3: season where when I was transitioning, I was litigation with
33:01
Speaker 3: some people that I was doing business with us where
33:03
Speaker 3: I became. I learned and developed as an entrepreneur in
33:06
Speaker 3: that process. But it was the worst time of my life,
33:09
Speaker 3: but the best time because I wouldn't be who I
33:11
Speaker 3: am going through a divorce. I had to recreate myself
33:16
Speaker 3: across the country, and I think I had developed a
33:22
Speaker 3: lot of callous and a lot of business was my
33:27
Speaker 3: safe place. Business is my safe place. That's where I'm comfortable.
33:30
Speaker 3: I know the language, I know it whatever, and I
33:32
Speaker 3: can hide from things in that, you know. But the
33:38
Speaker 3: past two years, well probably longer than that, but I'm
33:41
Speaker 3: gonna say two years. And you know, a wonderful woman
33:46
Speaker 3: I'm with and being in a relationship her and my
33:53
Speaker 3: best friend have challenged me to tap into my emotions
34:00
Speaker 3: and fears and parts of me that I would pretty
34:05
Speaker 3: much when you think about the attachment styles, you know,
34:09
Speaker 3: I would be more an avoidant, you know, kind of realm.
34:14
Speaker 3: And so I think I've really embraced it. And because
34:17
Speaker 3: I've embraced that.
34:19
Speaker 2: Not.
34:21
Speaker 3: I almost if I've embraced it the whole time, I've
34:22
Speaker 3: kind of foughted probably a little bit.
34:24
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, But.
34:26
Speaker 3: It's helped me be a better man. That's gonna help
34:31
Speaker 3: me better help the clients and the people that I
34:35
Speaker 3: serve in a different way. I can relate better, I
34:38
Speaker 3: can empathize better. Empathy was not a thing of mine.
34:41
Speaker 3: So I think in me healing, obviously, I hopefully will
34:45
Speaker 3: be able to help a lot of other brothers heal.
34:47
Speaker 2: Now, So healing for you has been.
34:51
Speaker 1: A journey indeed, And I know the wonderful woman that
34:57
Speaker 1: you have And when I found out that you got
35:00
Speaker 1: as were in a relationship, man, my heart smiled for
35:03
Speaker 1: you because I want to see brothers be restored through relationships.
35:10
Speaker 1: I believe that there is a healing component that is
35:14
Speaker 1: attached when you're in a healthy relationship. And healthy relationship
35:19
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily means that it's perfect. However, it's healthy because
35:26
Speaker 1: I am choosing to not only show up different, but
35:30
Speaker 1: I'm also allowing different to show up for me. Because
35:35
Speaker 1: when you're broken, you can continuously choose the same thing
35:38
Speaker 1: over and over and over. And so what I'm excited about, man,
35:43
Speaker 1: is that not only that you choose different, but you're
35:45
Speaker 1: also allowing yourself to receive different.
35:49
Speaker 2: And I believe that within itself, man is healing.
35:52
Speaker 3: Man. I appreciate you, bro, Man, I appreciate the light
35:56
Speaker 3: that you provide in my life. You know what I mean,
36:02
Speaker 3: You know the recent conversations we had, Like I told you,
36:04
Speaker 3: the energy to love. I just really really appreciate you
36:08
Speaker 3: and I get inspired by seeing you do what you
36:10
Speaker 3: do Man and helping brothers and I look forward to
36:14
Speaker 3: make an impact together for sure.
36:15
Speaker 1: Man, absolutely, brother Listen, you have seen this episode with
36:21
Speaker 1: my brother Mike Leto, who is a phenomenal consulting phenomenal
36:27
Speaker 1: business manager that are helping athletes navigate the business of sports.
36:34
Speaker 1: But you got to hear him talk about what healing
36:37
Speaker 1: meant to him. I don't know what healing means to you,
36:41
Speaker 1: but I can tell you there's always a component where
36:45
Speaker 1: healing is often attached to a relationship. And I'm not
36:49
Speaker 1: talking about a loving relationship, but oftentimes relationships that shows
36:56
Speaker 1: up in the element of a friendship or partnership. So
37:00
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to continue on your journey
37:03
Speaker 1: by being open to relationships that you may have been
37:05
Speaker 1: closed to, maybe building a connection with someone that you
37:09
Speaker 1: typically was like, ah, that's not my type of person.
37:13
Speaker 1: So I encourage you to tap in with our healing
37:16
Speaker 1: journey by subscribing to Just Heal, Doctor J. We would
37:20
Speaker 1: love to have you in our healing community to stay
37:22
Speaker 1: connected for all the things that we're doing with Just
37:24
Speaker 1: Heal with Doctor J. And until next time, remember healing
37:28
Speaker 1: is a journey and wholeness is the Destination. Just Here
37:33
Speaker 1: with Doctor J, a production of The Black Effect Podcast Network.
37:37
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.
37:42
Speaker 2: Wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and you can
37:44
Speaker 2: follow me at King J.
37:46
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37:50
Speaker 1: Just Heal, Doctor J.