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On letting age dictate your dreams · Conversations with My Walls

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Conversations with My Walls, Episode 9.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: On this podcast, I've been having a lot of conversations about relationships.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: The Catalyst was a breakup that fueled this podcast and gave me a purpose and
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: a place to process the pain and the relatable steps of understanding the why
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: when I couldn't get those answers.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me the keys to something bigger though.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I set out to take myself on solo dates each week to recenter my focus on me.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And through that came the next most natural evolutionary phase of this podcast.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've had conversations with people I otherwise wouldn't have,
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: and that is what is worth talking about next.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because relationships aren't just about the people we love and see often.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're also the fleeting micro exchanges with strangers and how we move through the world.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're going to dive into a conversation on feeling too old.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was at an event at an interior design studio.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was the first time I'd been there and immediately I was one of the few people
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: who weren't socializing in the studio's kitchen.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I avoided the buzz of all the voices.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: One woman in particular had been circling kind of in between the social hub and
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: the introverted annex of the space.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Her hair was pulled back but in like an effortless messy way.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: She reminded me of the headshot of the owner of the studio that I'd seen
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: on their Instagram account.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: She looked like a design person.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we struck up a conversation starting with what we both did.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I told her I was an artist and was there to learn more about sourcing
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: and how interior designers work with artists.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: She said that she wasn't a designer either, which shocked me.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: She worked in the corporate world.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: An executive recruiter, but had always felt this pull to design, especially now.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: However, what she said made me so sad because she said, I'm 60, I'm too old for it.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: To which I replied, like, I'm a huge believer in you're never too old.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then,
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: the logic part of her brain kicked in saying,
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: well, you need years to work up your skills.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: But the hope was still alive in her.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm holding that hope alongside her even as I talk through this now.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know her name, I probably will never cross paths with her again.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: But what she said really stuck with me.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: She had been to these events before.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Her actions, her intentions were aligned with learning more about the design world.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Those actions were overriding her own thoughts.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: She asked me if I was going to ask about the art sourcing because she noticed
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: at previous events not enough people asked and she wished that they would have
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: because that was just another way to learn more.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: My social anxiety introverted self really had no excuse not to ask that question.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I did.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so grateful for that conversation for my own personal reasons
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: because had I not felt like she was holding me that accountable,
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I probably would have just kind of clammed up.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I felt she sat exactly squarely behind me and I could feel the disappointment
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: of why didn't she ask?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I'm sure she wasn't even thinking about me at all.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: But in my mind, the pressure was quite real.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wondered that if she had been in a different career,
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: that maybe that could have conditioned people who have that creative inkling to go
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: after it,
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: to follow that soul nudge,
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: to nurture that,
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of people retire and then finally, finally embrace their real dreams.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I really want to talk about is that moment of when can I give myself permission?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Is it that we don't let ourselves because we let our age talk ourselves out of it?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because we let responsibilities talk ourselves out of it?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it because we let fear talk ourselves out of it?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: When you look at authors and people who've gotten their start later in life,
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think, and I use authors as an example because...
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: The thing that is most heavily recommended by writers to writers who say
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: that they can't,
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: who come up with the excuses is it's like if you can write 15 minutes every morning,
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: you're doing something,
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: you're getting the time in, you are actually putting words to paper.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So many people who put themselves out and their work out into
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: the world have spent more time cultivating taste.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It goes to the idea of starting
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: with emulation, like Austin Kleon's Steal Like an Artist.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is a reference, and taste starts with that.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Look at Wes Anderson, how he takes so many references from other directors.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like shots from Bottle Rocket are exact replicas of The 400 Blows, the François Truffaut film.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: When we try to limit ourselves by thinking that we don't have enough time
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: to try something new or get into something,
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think the real secret is to work on cultivating taste.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And from that,
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: it builds confidence to put ourselves out there and not have the story
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: that we don't have the talent,
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: that we haven't had the time to cultivate that talent,
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: that we haven't been putting in the hours.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So now one of the things that I'm going to get into is films,
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: articles, TV shows that touch on these universal themes.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: The first one is The Intern,
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: which is a Nancy Meyers movie starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: May have heard of it.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: It definitely is one of the least aspirational homes of any Nancy Meyers movie
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: because I feel like all of the others have that like house that you covet.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: It does show how giving people opportunities regardless
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: of age can create these great multi-generational containers of support and growth
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: and mentorship both ways around.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's why I love this movie so much is that
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: the young people mentor Robert De Niro just as much as he mentors them.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a really sweet story.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think the sweetness is such a theme with this because age has an ability
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: to create connection in a way when wisdom can be exchanged.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And there's something really wholesome about that.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So as a little surprise,
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: every once in a while I'm going to pick a tarot card because that's one
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: of my secret hobbies that I love to do.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's one of the most fun forms of conversation that we can have
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: with other people and ourselves.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love the intuition in it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I am using the Apparition Spirit Speak tarot deck.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is one of my favorites.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to shuffle...
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I keep getting this card and I love that for us.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: It is the High Priestess.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: In this illustration, it is a hand that is reaching through a portal into another field.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: On one side, there's a bird and a candle.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: On the other side, it's darker.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's a mirror, a glass, and a fish.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: The glass is half full, so I think that that says a lot about: What are we reaching for?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Are we reaching for the glass that's half full or half empty?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the biggest perspective shifts that I think that this is trying
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: to point us towards.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's about traveling between perspectives and how we can be a parent to ourselves
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: and kind of reparent our perspectives.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's having information that we can use in a constructive way of how we talk
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: about ourselves.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think this card is telling us to have that discernment of would you talk
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: to someone else this way?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Would you encourage someone this way when you're giving yourself a hefty dose of self-doubt?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Look at how you can dance between the two different perspectives and choose the one
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: that actually supports you.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: That you can Have growth and depth and achieve the things that you want
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: without having those limitations of thinking you're too XYZ,
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: too old,
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: too young,
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: too green and actually be honest with yourself that you can still do it despite.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: That you can see that the glass is half full.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: That you are not missing anything.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: That space, that empty space, is just room for more.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: It means that you can grow and you can get more opportunity.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is waiting for you.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is abundant.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no age limit on abundance.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode resonated with you,
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: be sure to subscribe and follow on your favorite podcast platform.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you subscribe for free over on Substack, you can get special text posts of these episodes.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working on that right now and they'll be coming soon,
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: fully formatted,
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: different from the transcript, that's only for your eyes.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: morganlindsaynelson.substack.com.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you are interested in learning more about my artwork,
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: you can go over to morganlindsaynelson.com.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm featuring an eclectic variety of work right now from abstract to fashion
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: to portraiture to film and TV and lettering prints with affirmations
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: and supportive thoughts from me to you.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you want to curate a gallery wall or just hang a single statement piece,
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to help you decorate your life with intention and fun playful art.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And as I was putting the tarot deck away as a bonus, I saw the Fool card.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It is the first card of the deck.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is new beginnings, being a beginner, all this opportunity and newness in front of you.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So take that as a sign.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: What you want is waiting.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to have it all figured out.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here and having these conversations with me.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I hope they allow you to have deeper conversations with yourself and others
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: in your life as well.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.