Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Shais Taub - Rabbi and Author | How To Live A Truly Meaningful Life

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Shais Taub - Rabbi and Author | How To Live A Truly Meaningful Life · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  slash scott for a thousand dollars off a lot of people who are super successful whether it's
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  with building a business or anything that the world respects most of those people are not more
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  you know those rare people who don't just understand the world let's see right through it
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  rabbi shy's tab is one of them he's a Hasidic scholar a writer in a deep thinker but more than that
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  he spent years helping people navigate addiction purpose and faith when a person knows what their
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  purpose is and it's a purpose greater than self then having money is great because it's an
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  incredible tool anything that you're doing without money you can do it better and bigger with
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  money but if you don't have a sense of purpose and what am I here for then you would be actually
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  much better off being poor content creation it's like figure out who you authentically are and
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  lean into that your naturalities they can now find you his book god of our understanding reframe
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  recovery through a Jewish lens but its impact has gone far beyond even the new york times took
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  rabbi tab has a way of making the complex feel clear the abstract feel personal and today he's
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  bringing that insight here children always want a connection to their parent we would have
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  the parent is parable your relationship with your parents affects your entire world view
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  being able to succeed and make money it actually potentially should enhance your ability
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  to live in accordance with your god given mission in this world
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  welcome to success story i'm your host scott clary the success story podcast is part of the
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  hub spot podcast network hub spot not only supports the show but they support entrepreneurs that's
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  why it's such a huge fan of hub spot and i'm very grateful for hub spot for supporting the show
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  because they help entrepreneurs and as a fellow entrepreneur i know it takes a lot to grow your
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  business a lot of audience attracting a lot of sales a lot of marketing a lot of leads for a lot
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  of channel management a lot of content a lot of long days late nights a lot of weekends a lot of
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  what do you think what you speak about it's home with so many different types of people
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  first of all as you know when we're creating content there's always a struggle
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  between what you want to deliver and what you think people would like to hear i mean
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  it's inevitable that we do take into account what the audience wants and at the extreme end of that
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  is called selling out or pandering and just you know giving the audience whatever they'll click on
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  even if you don't believe in it right but then the other extreme is you just you're speaking to
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  yourself an audience of one but it's literally an audience of one and nobody else comes looking for it
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  so i've tried to really really tries to be as close as possible to only saying things that i
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  myself would sit in the center um but at the same time there is a certain amount of
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  keeping in mind what question is someone already asking that i may be answering in other words
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  i'm not changing the subjects that i speak about i'm speaking about what i want to speak about
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  but the way i frame it is in a context of well this person is already asking certain questions
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  they don't know they're looking for my answer but let's say how do i be a better father or mother
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  or how do i balance work and family you know it's so i may have a message that i was going to say
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  anyway but if i can frame it as an answer to a question that someone's already asking that seems
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  to be like the sweet spot as far as content creation and i'm not an entrepreneur but in business also
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  that's as i understand it's always like what problem are you solving for someone?
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  no of course and i'm curious when you started putting your content was it purposely speaking to
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  a wider audience or were you more focused on people that were trying to learn from Pora from
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  religious texts that you thought through? it's funny i have so many different
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  audiences and i my content journey that's a phrase that you i learned from you two minutes ago
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  my content journey has been very therapeutic for me because for a while i wasn't sure like who
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  my speaking to is it Jews looking to study Torah or even non Jews but they want to study Jewish
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  spirituality or you know a lot of people come to my looking for my content or looking for when i
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  speak about addiction and recovery which is one of the subjects that i sometimes talk about or
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  parenting is another niche that i really become passionate about and i'm trying to figure out
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  who is my audience and then when i discovered that this was so like it was very healing for me
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  the algorithm does not like confusion of the algorithm can't figure out who you are
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  it gets confused and it's sort of um pass you know move on to the next guy um so then how do you
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  send strong signals to the algorithm that will be the opposite of confusing?
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  so because once the algorithm figures out oh that's who this guy is then it goes and finds all the
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  people who are your most natural audience of the world says come on guys right here right here
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  okay so i realized there's i heard this quote attributed to dolly part and she said
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  find out who you are and be that on purpose so i figured out it was a journey that the magic formula
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  to content creation is just be you know in normal life we try to get in our light a little bit
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  for the convenience of others always the okay and i realized and and another topic i speak about by
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  the way is uh neuro divergent minds and there's there's an expression there like in the autism
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  spectrum world of like masking like high masking individuals who are trying to act neurotypical
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  in the world right so they don't incur the wrath of some type of so violation of some social code
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  that they were oblivious to right so in normal life we're like masking a lot to try to be like
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  everyone else because that's that's what works i feel safe feel safe right um but with content creation
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  it's like no the opposite figure out who you authentically are and lean into that because now you're
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  sending on ambiguous signals and your audience your natural audience not creating an audience they
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  exist they can now find you and it's it's so like forget about content creation on a personal level
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  it was so liberating to realize like i don't have to be everything to everyone but i have to be my
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  truest self for the people who are looking for that and they wouldn't be able to find me if i was
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  trying to be like the rest of the crowd but it's interesting because you would think that the audience
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  is already trying to find you would be a Jewish audience that would be the de facto audience that
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  makes a ton of sense but then to counter that point your audience is now evolved to a non-Jewish
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  audience so what was the thing that you leaned into that's signal yeah um and the funny thing is
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  you know i still speak very overtly openly about faith about belief i still give i even give text-based
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  Torah classes where we're studying from like mystical texts in the Hebrew and translate i mean
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  those don't perform as well as other types of content but i'm saying i'm doing it all on one
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  on one platform um you know what it is again and i'm going back to the same point that i just made
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  about being your authentic self it's just talking about what i'm going through it's personal you know
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  and if i'm trying to get only people in the world seven billion eight billion yeah almost they
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  if i'm trying to get eight billion people it's not going to work but i don't need eight billion
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  if i'm trying to find my audience my market share which already exists but i haven't found them and
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  they haven't found me then really it's just about showing up every day as a content creator
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  and being like this is what i'm struggling with today this was what helped me today
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  this is what's inspiring me today and it sounds almost like so easy but it's not easy because
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  we're so programmed to want to just be what people what we think people want us to be
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  and it's so unnatural to be natural it's true it's funny it's very ironic i was the angle i was
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  actually interested in i understand where you're coming from the angle i was interested in more so
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  than you being just yourself and you tapping into an audience that wants to hear of your daily
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  struggles what i was curious about i find this fascinating is why ancient wisdom hits home
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  so so well with modern audience because that's i think that's really what you do
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  in a very very good way and it's interesting because all these problems that people deal with
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  on a day-to-day that we were talking about this before we were chatting about what we want to
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  speak about all these problems people deal with on a day-to-day relationships success finances kids
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  you speak about you know you speak about anxiety stress all the yeah it's like all been solved
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  a thousand times before and that's i think that's a unique piece of wisdom that you tap into
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  because you're not talking there's different kinds of people that motivate right that you can go
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  to the Tony Robbins of the world but that's based on you know the past 50 years of wisdom you're
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  tapping into something much deeper and and i think there's a lot more to what you tap into than
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  that yeah but we're talking about the human condition right so like that's that's timeless right
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  that human the human psyche you know i would say as god created it hasn't changed
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  technology has changed but we're the same and we have the same problems and same solutions
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  and the good old timeless wisdom is incredibly timely when you know how to apply it and i think
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  that's what people are resonating one did um we were you were always religious yeah i'm more
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  less yeah more less more yeah i mean i actually became more religious through my life
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  i want why is that not because i wanted to because i found that there are some people who find
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  spirituality inspiring or you know there's spirituality versus religion they find even religion
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  and ritual they find that comforting and i'm not like that um i'm not like that the more i live in
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  this world the more i need i don't want to use cheesy words that are going to sound like hyperbole
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  but the more i need to be at least a part of my day tapped into some plane of god consciousness
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  um to function here in the world it doesn't make sense what i'm saying it does i think that a lot of
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  people feel that need for god's consciousness and what they do is they replace it with some other
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  thing sure of course adding that's a very unhealthy modern day for not well not just modern day but
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  no that's also timeless that is the human condition but more so than i think ever before we have
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  easier access to distractions today with the human condition is that that craving for distraction
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  but today it's just the the the available supply of distractions was so ample today one of my favorite
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  thoughts not favorite in a good way but favorite in a light bulb moment ways if there is no god
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  in someone's life they find another god and that god could be work that god could be money that
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  god could be you got to serve somebody like you got to serve somebody but Dylan said that you got to
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  serve somebody maybe the devil maybe the lord you got to serve somebody god let him hate it
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  that by the way why because he was an atheist i didn't know that yeah well he says an imagine
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  imagine is no heaven um so he was very upset with Bob Dylan said that basically you're gonna worship
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  something you got to choose exactly and i think that people i think that people
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  i think they just sort of meander through life and half the time they don't even know who they're
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  serving that's true too and then they wake up and again a lot of the people that listen to this
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  podcast are entrepreneurs they you know they sort of idolize these people that have made millions
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  tens of millions hundreds of millions and because of that idolization that's the correct word um
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  they start to mimic and they start to sort of pursue that same journey and then i see it a lot
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  because i have a lot of exited entrepreneurs on the show they exit and then there's lack of
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  fulfillment because they were following the wrong quote unquote god their whole life and it doesn't
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  matter what version of god that is but it's it's money god it's it's hustle it's whatever it's progress
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  it's success and with an idol you make sacrifices to an idol which means you wake up one day and
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  you realize how much you gave up for this this false god and that can be incredibly painful to
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  realize what you chose to to give up and what was it for what was it for i mean we all make sacrifices
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  but at the end of the day or at the end of a lifetime you want to at least feel that your sacrifices
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  were towards something meaningful you deal with a lot of people and i'm assuming are a lack of
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  better term looking for god to some degree right or like you say they may be looking for in that
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  knowing that because they're filling it with something else so what are the um you have like a
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  you know like a frontline view of all the human-conditioned problems that people are dealing with what
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  do you what are you most concerned about with humanity not to make it a what they question like
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  what's the big problem what's a day problem today that you feel that people are really seeking
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  i mean you can literally find it in your most search youtube videos but what are the big problems
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  the people are are seeking answers to what are the big problems that they're seeking answers to
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  um i mean obviously anxiety is is big everybody's anxious everybody's anxious today
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  we're overstimulated which is simply overstimulated where our brains were not built to take in as
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  many images and sounds as we take in on a daily basis that's that's a big thing there's an
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  interesting pendulum swing going on as far as families you know sometimes things fall apart and then
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  they start to rebuild you know you have to hit rock bottom sometimes and i'm seeing in this
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  time in which we live an incredible um it's an overlap in some ways is still falling apart but in
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  some ways it's already starting to rebuild uh focus on on the strength of the family that's a
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  huge thing where people are not just realizing i want to spend more time with my family you know
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  that everyone knows that's a classic thing um like there's a nobody regrets on their deathbed that
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  they spent too much time with their family right but more than that it's just spending time with your
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  family it's having a meaningful connection like actually being able to teach my children to be
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  their guide to be their their mentor in life not just to be this authority figure who invokes well
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  i put a roof over your head so you have to listen to me which doesn't work today anyway so
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  um and so there's a lot of stress with that because a lot of times people didn't receive
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  in the family where they grew up they didn't receive the tools that they need in order to be able to
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  raise their own children that's a big thing that people are searching for is help with that and
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  it's a healthy thing that people want help with that well because i think you're you're going
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  to level deeper so when i look at family unit i think there's already a breakdown in people
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  seeking traditional nuclear family compared to again 50 years ago so that's like level one
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  or or first thought second thought would be uh especially in this audience people
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  sort of focus on again the wrong north star and they wake up 30 years in the future after building
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  and they realize that yes they did have a family but did they build a meaningful connection with
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  it and now they're lost and they don't know what to do or their family's broken or their kids don't
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  speak to them anymore or they're you know one two three x divorced it's it's horrible especially
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  in like a high performing uh succeed at all costs is a very possible scenario by the way the guy who's
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  let's say 60 years old made his money like did very well i can think of right now five conversations
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  I've had in the past 30 days with this type of guy who's like my kids know speak to me
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  and what's it all worth i see it a lot i see it even more where Miami and i see it all the time
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  i see people that again are 60 years old still going out still partying trying to like mask
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  there's some stuff they have inside and they have adult kids who are his either a strange they're
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  just not close with them a lot of times by the way i'm just thinking of people who i know
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  they try to bring the kids into the business and either they try to do it and then it blows up
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  and doesn't work or the kid does want anything to do with the business it's an interesting dynamic as well
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  i've seen more often than not kids want nothing to do with the business and i never understood it
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  because that's all i ever wanted i would love like a dad i love my dad very much i would love a
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  dad who had a business that i could step into my family was not entrepreneurial that's always
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  something that i was like oh my goodness you imagine it's like a uh you know i don't mind a little
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  nepotism let me let me take over the family business i never had that opportunity but the people
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  that i do know that had that opportunity they always seem to go in another direction um one of the
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  first companies that worked for uh got two kids companies we got ten million dollars in revenue
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  ended up selling it to private equity because he had zero because his kids had their interest in taking
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  you know no succession no idea why this like it didn't compute and i don't know what maybe you have
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  thoughts is it is it a broken relationship is it because i mean it's very it's very clear you know
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  talk about making sacrifices to idols yeah so imagine you growing up in your whole life you see your
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  father making a sacrifice to a particular idol and you are the sacrifice like he he's binding you
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  on the altar of this idol it doesn't really foster warm fuzzy feelings toward that
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  my business so for those people that do feel first of all these sort of two cohort to people
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  listen to the show this people that are in that you know they've made their money and there's
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  people that are listening to it that want to make that money and then want to have some career
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  financial success what is the secret in keeping a meaningful relationship who do i want to talk
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  to first the people who did it already in the looking back of the people are in the let's talk to
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  the people who did it who did it already because i think then we'll speak to the earlier stage younger
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  person but they're gonna get some lessons from learning who has already sort of screwed up a couple
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  things so the people who who are already looking back and questioning the priorities that they lived
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  i love that expression said that they were navigating toward the wrong north star yeah
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  because i like that metaphor because they were navigating they weren't just meandering but
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  they were choosing the wrong target so i'm gonna tell you something that could totally be
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  misused and weaponized and by the wrong in if in in the wrong hands
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  um and i'm putting it out here on a public forum so i have no control over how this will be used
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  but i'm praying that nobody will misuse this information um children always want a connection to
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  their parent always even if the parent is abusive even if the parent is sick even if the parent is
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  terrible children want a connection to their parent sometimes the parent is so
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  unhealthy that the child can't have it it's just not practically feasible but in an ideal world the
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  child wishes they had it and the proof is that even a child who's a stranger or a parent for their
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  own safety um has this void they wish they could have that connection because a child's connection
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  to a to a parent is so deep it never goes away doesn't matter how old you are doesn't matter
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  how successful you are doesn't matter what what you've done outside of the family
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  we're all children we never really grow out of that we always want mom and daddy um i don't mean it
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  in infantile way i mean there's just this core bond to the extent that you see people who don't
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  have a relationship with their parent uh even when it's by their own choice because like i'm saying
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  they're protecting themselves from a like a toxic situation it's not just they get over it and
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  lie down and move on there's there's this gaping void when they wish they had that relationship
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  that there's a there's an empty space where that relationship relationship is supposed to be
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  a while i'm saying this i'm saying this because many many times i've had parent who
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  will say to me my kids are all grown they're married um and we don't have a good relationship i regret
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  a lot well is there even hope and i'll tell them there's always hope because a child always wants
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  a relationship with their parent they never get over the need to have a relationship with their
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  now sometimes a parent has proven themselves to be so unreliable and though emotionally dangerous
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  that the child the adult child is just not gonna be able to trust enough to let the relationship be
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  rekindled but there's always hope there's always a possibility because children no matter how
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  grown up they are never get over the need to be bonded to their parents so i don't want to weaponize
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  this i don't want to know what because you understand how somebody like cynically could misuse
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  this information basically if they could hear this and say oh so i can get away with murder
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  the 40-50 years and then when i retire i'll turn around and i'll go to my kids and be like
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  daddy's home like that's this is not that this is not all we want people to do or not
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  but what i am saying is after the fact if it already happened
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  i've seen it firsthand front lines
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  even adult children who are themselves in their 40s 50s 60s and their parents who are
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  seniors will restore the relationship make real amends real apologies not self-serving apologies
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  yet not only can there be a relationship again the craziest thing there's so much healing that comes from
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  it for both of them but more interesting for the children like you'll be shocked how i had
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  one situation a woman told me that her mother a woman who i think she's in her 30s her mother is
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  in her 60s her mother changed her parenting style even though all of her kids have grown up
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  in out of the house and the the daughter says her husband came to her and said wow when your mother
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  changed her relationship with you our marriage got better wow even after you're fully grown yeah
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  but so i think like that parent-child relationship affects so many other things like it was affecting
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  the dynamic and the marriage of the adult child probably didn't even know it of course you didn't
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  know it she only knew it after the fact when oh that was the cause and effect what what happens in
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  that situation like in in that in that kid what's happening when they repair that relationship
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  because the kid listening to this there's going to be some people that are going to buy into this
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  and understand and say yes there will also be some people that are that 30 35 40 year old with a very
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  40 your parents quite old at that point and they're like i've gone my whole life without a
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  relationship with my parent there's no way i'm going to go back and try to start building that
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  again now i don't see the benefit you know unfortunately
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  the ball's not really in the court of the kid this is something the parent has to do the parent
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  is the provider in the relationship so they have to be the initiator and they have to make the first move
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  so let's say the child has grown up and says you know i would like a relationship with my parent
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  but if the parent doesn't isn't isn't mature enough to do it it's not going to happen
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  so really the it's up to the parent to make that decision that they want it to happen
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  but when they do want it to happen it's so transformative it affects so many other things
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  your relationship with your parents affect your entire world view
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  yeah i've heard from like a doctor he's done a lot of work with trauma research
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  and if you look at a household of a kid growing up and the relationship with the parent and
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  is that house a safe space and as a child feels safe when they come home and is there
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  is there trauma or no trauma that impacts performance it impacts relationships i mean for like
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  years and years and years because what that trauma and i'm not the doctor and i don't have the
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  medical sources to cite this but what he is stating is that that trauma turns into this subconscious
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  almost operating system that's running in your head all the time and then again he has a
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  formality tries to sort of fix that it's what therapists would do as well but he says this can
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  run your entire life he saw with his wife who had some sort of physical autoimmune reaction because
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  of trauma that she experiences a child it's i think it's incredible and also very scary how much
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  that relationship and that home can impact how much impact because it's like you know we have
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  an effect on any human being that we interact with to some extent and we have a responsibility
• 30:07
  that the interaction should be a positive one but nothing compares to the amount of influence
• 30:13
  that we have on our children nothing i mean to make or break this human being there's a unique
• 30:21
  amount of influence that a parent has in a child's life it what in the ironic thing is you know a lot
• 30:29
  of times when we're talking about people who are navigating toward that wrong north star
• 30:35
  a lot of times people get rich sort of incidentally they weren't trying to get rich i think
• 30:43
  that's sometimes the only way to get rich is to not try and get rich yeah sometimes the money is
• 30:50
  just a metric um they were trying to become influential different types of people but some people
• 30:56
  they would they just they wanted i don't want to say they wanted power because that has a negative
• 31:01
  connotation but they wanted influence and the irony is that the most influence you will ever have
• 31:08
  over a human being is over your children so you set aside that to try to influence other people
• 31:20
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• 32:32
  listening to this and they're just starting families and they don't want to make mistakes
• 32:37
  yeah what is the what is the i mean is a million different ways probably to to build a
• 32:42
  meaningful relationship with your kids and to maintain it while still being a high performer because
• 32:46
  i don't want people to think that they can't achieve what they're looking to achieve in their
• 32:50
  career and it de facto means to having a broken relationship with your kids it's not a positive
• 32:55
  it's not a great message but somebody's like okay i want to build a business how do i not screw this
• 33:01
  i'm going to say something and i'm not trying to convince anyone of my world world to you
• 33:07
  so if this doesn't resonate with you you know just leave it yeah leave it but our livelihood comes
• 33:16
  from god god provides for all of us for all of his creatures and ultimately all we do is we hold
• 33:25
  out a cup and hold out a vessel to receive our blessings we don't create a livelihood
• 33:32
  we don't create it we think we do it's an illusion our work does not create our livelihood our work
• 33:36
  is just a vessel within which we receive a livelihood that is coming from on high if a person
• 33:45
  thinks that they need to work 90 hours a week in order to make whatever it is they're trying to make
• 33:56
  they need to re-examine their entire world's view
• 34:03
  correlation does not imply causation just because you see a lot of people working 90 hours a week
• 34:10
  in who are making money doesn't mean that's how they made their money first of all there's
• 34:14
  plenty of people hustling and grinding and they're losing money second of all these guys making
• 34:20
  tons of money but what are they spending it on anything that makes life meaningful so it's like
• 34:27
  you might have a lot of it but are you actually spending it on healthy good things
• 34:34
  and there's a lot of illusion around that when we look at other people's lives especially
• 34:42
  you see the outside you don't see what's really going on the inside
• 34:46
  we have to really really surrender to the idea that we need to make a natural effort
• 34:58
  that by natural I mean as opposed to miraculous we need to make a natural effort to succeed and
• 35:05
  whatever it is we're working on whether it's building a business or it's putting out content
• 35:11
  writing your novel or whatever it is but we have to we have to put forth a natural amount of
• 35:16
  effort a plausible amount of effort that we require you can't just say I'm going to work 20 minutes
• 35:23
  a week and that's I mean it's not realistic but then you know you do the normal amount and then
• 35:29
  you have to let go and say anything beyond this is idolatrous this is not how it works if god wants
• 35:40
  me to have this he's going to send it to me and it by me working another hour that's not what's
• 35:48
  going to create this that's not how it's going to happen so the first thing I would say to people
• 35:53
  to get them out of that trap where they can actually appreciate their family more is just to
• 36:00
  decouple that false cause and effect that they may be predicating their entire lives on
• 36:08
  I think it's a really hard idea for you to grasp because I fall victim to this too even though I
• 36:17
  believe what you're saying in the day to day you fall victim to you fall victim to well I have a
• 36:22
  couple hours you know after dinner so why not send a couple more emails and it's creep and it
• 36:28
  creeps and a creep and the justification is I'll make a few more bucks for my family but then
• 36:34
  I mean so I don't have kids yet that's god willing that's a word for trying to do soon and
• 36:38
  and I'm very well aware I mean even you know we're walking outside and I was talking about how
• 36:43
  you're booking your flights and everything and I say I don't want to travel anymore like I'm
• 36:48
  purposefully like planting these ideas in my own head and repeating them because I I know that I
• 36:52
  could speak on more stages I know that I could go to more conferences I know that I could do more
• 36:57
  more more more more I mean I literally built a podcast studio in my backyard like I'm very much
• 37:02
  in the mindset of okay I'm prepping my life settle that settle now the family even if that me
• 37:08
  yes giving up certain opportunities and I think it well yeah but here's the thing that
• 37:16
  we have to believe that our maker knows what we need to accomplish in this world and that if
• 37:25
  there's something that was meant for us to accomplish my my maker is gonna find me he knows my
• 37:33
  address he knows where I am and those opportunities will come to me without me having to run away
• 37:42
  from myself and where my real life really is and when you free up that time that's when you can
• 37:47
  start that's like the first step is to understand that there's some sort of you can actually allocate
• 37:54
  part of your life to your family do you feel like that's like the biggest
• 38:00
  impediment to building meaningful connections it's time it's not just a time because
• 38:09
  time allocation like you saying comes from prioritization which comes from our world view so
• 38:17
  you know even if somebody would I don't know create a schedule where they would allocate
• 38:24
  a certain amount of time a day if your heart's not in it if your head's not in it it's not really
• 38:29
  the same thing yet you have to go back to your basic worldview like where do you see yourself as
• 38:37
  influential where do you see yourself as accomplishing see this is another thing let's get into this
• 38:43
  a lot of people who are super successful whether it's with building a business or
• 38:49
  in media or anything that the world respects there are certain things that people respect
• 38:57
  it's funny I don't know if you agree with this but most of those people are not normal a thousand
• 39:03
  percent you agree with that a thousand percent okay I said I had somebody who came on here he
• 39:07
  speak about neurodivergent individuals how most entrepreneurs have some some thing yeah some
• 39:13
  neurodivergent tendency some more so than others but it's it's in the majority so that means
• 39:20
  that and I identify with this so I'll speak in the first person that we were never
• 39:28
  so successful in being normal and the regular things that regular people do just like
• 39:36
  when the kids go out for recess and they play together and it's just so natural to all of them
• 39:41
  and then there's that one kid who's like sort of on the outskirts right so is he gonna be the CEO
• 39:47
  or the serial killer or both or what right but people who are super successful generally are not
• 39:55
  the people who find it easy to just be one of the guys or one of the gals right um and then that
• 40:04
  repeats itself in the family it's like I don't know like well where do I fit in here and it's like
• 40:10
  I feel kind of like this is not my natural place right I go out into such and such setting
• 40:19
  and I shine and not only do I shine I get to be myself with no apologies because I'm so darn
• 40:27
  successful at it people are forced to accept it even if it's eccentric right but then I'm with
• 40:33
  my family and it's like I don't know I'm not really good at this it's like the kid in school says
• 40:39
  I hate math well you don't hate math you're not good at math and therefore you hate it so it's very
• 40:47
  easy to say I'm not feeling super successful in this domestic thing I'm actually feeling kind
• 40:59
  of frustrated and out of place but then I go to my stage and I'm feeling like I'm rocking it
• 41:09
  well why wouldn't I gravitate toward that it comes natural comes natural right and the problem is
• 41:16
  that your life is not on that stage your life is in the home with the family that you're building
• 41:25
  and anything that you're doing that on that stage is supposed to be supplemental it's supposed to be
• 41:30
  built upon a foundation of what's happening in your core relationships it's not supposed to become
• 41:37
  your identity this this idea is so prevalent and I and I will give you a shout out because you've
• 41:43
  actually now you have something that actually helps parents understand how to deal with this
• 41:49
  phenomenon you built an actual program around this because so many people have come to you I'm
• 41:53
  assuming with this problem so it's obviously very it's very prevalent well people are the people
• 42:02
  that come to your favorite in course yeah the guarantee course are we describing the archetype
• 42:07
  of that person that gravitates towards this course one one demographic one demographic yeah our
• 42:13
  highly successful people who don't understand why they're not cheating as parents like
• 42:20
  well there's that rocket science why am I so bad at this right but they're people with enough
• 42:26
  self-awareness to be like okay but I'm not allowed to discount it just because I'm frustrated with
• 42:30
  it so that's that's definitely a big demographic that I work with in the in the parenting course
• 42:36
  um but there there there are a few different pain points the people have when they will come to
• 42:41
  the parenting course that's one of them so somebody does have to be self-aware enough to want to work
• 42:46
  on this thing yeah that's sort of like a prerequisite so I understand that um
• 42:52
  but when you realize that you just aren't good at the domestic, husband, wife, parenting,
• 43:00
  father, mother, thing uh what would be sort of the first step like I mean you said
• 43:06
  you're not good uh you don't like it's not that you don't like math you're not good at math well I mean
• 43:10
  I can start and study and I can watch YouTube videos and the podcast and I can you know I can
• 43:16
  I can go sit in on a course I don't have academy and learn how to eat algebra
• 43:20
  fun actly or you could take chase tops parenting course and learn how to become a parent
• 43:24
  exactly plug um it could but by the way some some of a great deal of it simply is education like
• 43:31
  you're saying just educate yourself like think about people who are I don't think it's as easy
• 43:37
  you're making it sound so easy making it sound easy I don't feel like if I feel like I'm
• 43:41
  feeling as uh as a husband as a wife as a parent and I'm spending uh 75% of my month traveling
• 43:48
  going on stages and I'm chilling it there that 25% that I'm home I don't think I understand what
• 43:53
  to do okay but you know what it it I know I'm making it sound easier than it really is but in
• 43:59
  some ways it is easy because success breeds success once you get a taste for success
• 44:04
  and think about some makes their first big business deal and then they get a taste for oh I
• 44:09
  could do that I know what that's like not only I can do it I want to do it right so a lot of it's
• 44:16
  just about momentum some people have never really felt success in parenting especially men
• 44:22
  I gotta say like a lot of men will say I the only thing I know how to do is to provide
• 44:29
  like financially and like by the way many men will go their entire lives being 100%
• 44:37
  fine with that and saying I don't have to do anything emotionally I'm paying the bills I mean
• 44:44
  doesn't really work out very well you can ask their kids how they feel about that but um
• 44:50
  then other men are like bemoaning that like the only thing I know how to provide is
• 44:56
  financial support why am I not connecting why don't my kids feel bonded to me um but
• 45:05
  it's a vicious cycle but you can break the vicious cycle and you can get a taste of success
• 45:12
  and once and especially I gotta say people who are successful in other areas of life
• 45:18
  if even if they don't have the skill set that's normally applied in regular day-to-day relationships
• 45:27
  uh or to the contrary that's like that's where they're specifically challenged but they're successful
• 45:32
  undriven people and they know what it means to get good at something and once they taste success
• 45:41
  at home it becomes sort of starts to build its own okay it's like a flywheel yeah exactly
• 45:49
  definitely definitely so to go to the other end of the audience spectrum where you have people
• 45:54
  that are just starting out so I think what happens and again correct me from wrong but I think
• 46:00
  what happens is somebody's pursuing something they're very ambitious and then that develops
• 46:04
  a flywheel and then they that and then they don't look back right and then they don't look back
• 46:09
  from earlier until they do so for somebody who's starting out what are the words of advice
• 46:14
  that you don't fall into this trap it's very easy when you're starting to build you can be selfish
• 46:18
  maybe you don't even have a spouse maybe the only significant people in your family are your parents
• 46:23
  you maybe don't have a child so all your focus is on this one thing right but here's the thing
• 46:32
  well I'll ask you let's imagine a guy or real woman in the 30s young already started
• 46:43
  experiencing success maybe a lot of success let's say somebody 35 and you know already making
• 46:51
  a few million a year let's say someone doing well how often is that person's identity
• 47:02
  their self-concept fairly indistinguishable from the success I think I think usually it's wrapped
• 47:10
  up into it that's all they know they all they know so to me that's the biggest issue
• 47:21
  is that I have to know who I am apart from this thing that I've learned how to do well
• 47:29
  first of all these things disappear sometimes you see that where someone just one day whatever they
• 47:37
  were in a particular industry that falls apart for whatever reason for no fault of their
• 47:43
  own it wasn't a bad decision they made they were shifts in market and then all of a sudden
• 47:50
  I didn't lose my money I lost myself I don't know who am I I'm nobody I don't have a self
• 47:59
  then other times person continues making money and more and more and more and more and more and
• 48:04
  they wake up one day whether the 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 80 but they wake up one day and they're like
• 48:09
  what's it all about why did I do any of this so I think it's super important that there's a
• 48:18
  concept of identity who am I who am I what am I here for now my personal opinion is that that
• 48:29
  is inherently a metaphysical and spiritual question I don't I know some people are not comfortable
• 48:37
  those ways of viewing life but once you get into the why questions not the how you know how do
• 48:44
  you do something that's a science why that's philosophy or religion but why is it that way
• 48:51
  then you get into the deep ideas of like what what what are we even here for what is the world
• 48:57
  here for is is there a purpose to life and then what is my specific purpose within all of that
• 49:04
  and those are questions that if you're really really focused and driven you can sort of
• 49:11
  distract yourself from having to ask those questions but the lack of an answer to those questions
• 49:17
  doesn't isn't less profoundly destabilizing the fact that you're not asking the question
• 49:28
  because you distracted doesn't make the lack of an answer to those questions less destabilizing
• 49:33
  it's still there in the background and if anything it's because of that void then you double
• 49:43
  down on being super focused on the distractions especially if you're getting reinforced by success
• 49:52
  then then you have a crisis you have a crisis because either you you become a victim of your own
• 49:58
  success and you never have to wake up and ask those questions at a young age or if you do then you
• 50:04
  have an ask even you either are very successful into the financial metrics and ask yourself those
• 50:11
  questions when you're like 50 or 60 or if market shift and business goes away and you're 35
• 50:20
  then I think you're severely depressed because now you haven't achieved financial success that you
• 50:25
  said and then also you have no other identity so we have the problem clear clearly identified
• 50:36
  I can't think of a solution for somebody outside of just warning them that this is their path
• 50:41
  that they're going on I mean I think this is where I think this is where reflection and
• 50:48
  closeness to family and even closeness to God I think is important because it forces you to
• 50:55
  focus on something outside of your business but we are increasingly shelving those relationships
• 51:03
  and I think that that enables the distraction to a greater degree and what I would say to someone is
• 51:11
  I'm not trying to tell you that your success so your business or your enterprise is bad
• 51:22
  it's not bad it's very good but it's not the meaning of your life it can be a tool a very powerful
• 51:33
  tool for expanding your reach if you already have a meaning for your life and to me that's the greatest
• 51:45
  tragedy is being able to succeed and make money it actually potentially should enhance your
• 51:57
  ability to live in accordance with your God-given mission in this world it should create more
• 52:03
  opportunities more influence for good so it's all the more tragic when not only is it not
• 52:11
  billing that role but it becomes a distraction from your purpose in life it's like something that
• 52:17
  has the most potential ends up becoming the most problematic which is always the way that you
• 52:24
  see this with a lot of people you work with I'm assuming because you have to tell the audience
• 52:30
  like some of like you were on the phone we're talking yesterday you're talking about some of the
• 52:34
  people that you I don't know mentor consults help speak with whatever our friends with they deal
• 52:41
  with like hundreds of millions of dollars like very very from a traditional standpoint outside
• 52:48
  looking in they're successful yeah and I'm curious about what what problems they do they do you
• 52:54
  find that it skews more towards their whole identity is wrapped up into their professional persona
• 53:03
  or are there a select few that have found a way to remove their identity from the wealth they've
• 53:08
  created there are certain people certainly people who can who have an independent sense of self
• 53:14
  and those people who know who they are like if I lost it all right now I would still know who I am
• 53:21
  and what I stand for those are the people whose wealth becomes an incredible tool for amplifying
• 53:30
  their life's purpose so again it's interesting is there's a story in the Bible about Moses that they
• 53:40
  were picking a census and the way that they took the census is everybody contributed a coin so
• 53:52
  sort of like a flat tax and a census all rolled into one it's in the book of Exodus so it describes how
• 54:03
  Moses wasn't sure what this coin looked like but the commentaries explained that God showed him a
• 54:10
  coin of fire many of us just thank you okay what's this coin of fire
• 54:21
  monies like fire fire is energy fire is a force
• 54:34
  and if we channel it you know we make a combustion engine drive your car you can cook your meal
• 54:47
  keep your home but if you don't channel it you can burn down the whole city you can burn down the
• 54:55
  whole world so when a person knows what their purpose is what their life is about
• 55:07
  and it's a purpose greater than self it's inherently altruistic and I would say spiritual
• 55:15
  then having money is great because money is like fire it's it's an incredible tool it's it's it's
• 55:26
  energy and anything that you're doing without money you can do it better and bigger with money
• 55:35
  but if you don't have a sense of purpose and what am I here for what's my life about then
• 55:42
  you would be actually much better off being core you'd cause a lot less damage to yourself and
• 55:48
  others if you wouldn't have this this is powerful energy in your life because if it's not harnessed
• 55:56
  just starts wreaking havoc one thing I think is interesting because again we actually haven't
• 56:06
  sort of spoken too too much about like God and spirituality yet compared to what I know
• 56:12
  you know when you can speak about but I want to I want to one of the topics and I get
• 56:19
  interesting is again godlessness maybe otherwise set a spiritual poverty something along those lines
• 56:25
  that I think that a lot of people wrestle with but somebody's listening to you and they're like okay
• 56:32
  these are he's obviously you know he's speaking to Jews and he's speaking to people that
• 56:36
  I mean it's all Abrahamic religious but he's speaking to Jews and and that's what he believes in
• 56:42
  so I'm not for you know the audience and I'm not Jewish I want to understand
• 56:48
  where God and spirituality fits into my life and and how do I how do I include God or spirituality
• 56:54
  in the equation because I do feel spiritually poor and and spiritually in poverty even though
• 57:00
  I could be financially successful I would say let's give it very simple there has to be a
• 57:08
  purpose greater than you it can't just be you were sent here to have a life for the purpose of
• 57:22
  having you're supposed to spend that life creating the best possible life it's it's it's
• 57:30
  there has to be something outside of you it has to be something greater than you
• 57:36
  and you don't have to fathom what that is in its totality in fact probably by definition you can't
• 57:43
  but at least you should feel a connection to that and it should entail some mode of service
• 57:49
  and if you're wealthy by the way there's so many opportunities for service and I don't just
• 57:55
  mean charity although charity is a huge part of it but remember in this society people respect well
• 58:02
  so somebody can have a lot of influence as a successful person just by what messages they get behind
• 58:11
  just how they live their lives your people are watching you they're imitating so when you when
• 58:18
  you look at it like that I'm here to cause a ripple effect I'm here to improve things for the world
• 58:27
  that to me is in its most basic form what I mean by a spiritual life you're just doing something
• 58:35
  for something bigger than yourself yeah and that it in a mode of service I'm not here to receive
• 58:44
  I'm here to give you mentioned you mentioned this theme before and I'm curious what what you mean by
• 58:50
  and then we can sort of move on from spirituality because I want to speak about anxiety too so we
• 58:56
  sort of touched on that at the beginning we didn't go into it but what was the the way that you
• 59:01
  phrased it you you mentioned that spirituality should be medicine not ritual you touched on that
• 59:10
  as well yeah yeah I have spoken about that I find that very interesting what does that mean
• 59:18
  because I don't understand it what does that mean for somebody who's listening who is like okay
• 59:22
  I'm bought into the concept of why should be serving somebody bigger than myself I get that
• 59:27
  but this is an interesting point I think yeah there was a clip I actually didn't put it out I saw
• 59:35
  the clip it was a podcast that I recorded actually not that far from here Miami area with with
• 59:42
  Ellie Nash who has the insert of podcast so we were speaking about spirituality and he I think
• 59:50
  he said something like so is spirituality the medicine and I said no no it's not the medicine it's
• 59:56
  the health and what I meant is spirituality is not a means to an end it is the end it's not like
• 1:00:09
  I'm using it in order to accomplish something else to the contrary everything else in my life when
• 1:00:17
  it's aligned will bring me to a natural state of integration which I call spiritual wellness
• 1:00:31
  right so a lot of times people they turn spirituality into a a tool just like you know anything
• 1:00:41
  else you would you would buy some software well even you said you don't like the the ritual component
• 1:00:48
  you're not you're not doing this for ritual you're doing it I think you you said some some version
• 1:00:54
  of that when we first started speaking he said like I think I said why did you get more religious
• 1:00:59
  because you remember this yeah there's some people find comfort and ritual yeah and I'm not
• 1:01:05
  denigrating ritual by the way as by the way you know that before we even started recording I told you
• 1:01:11
  by the way when I took off from LaGuardia it was dark it was so early in the morning it was dark I
• 1:01:15
  couldn't see my morning prayers and when I landed the Miami there were no more places where I could
• 1:01:21
  pray with a with a minion with a quorum so I actually people don't realize but I prayed my
• 1:01:26
  morning prayers right here am I the first person by the way to pray their morning prayers in this
• 1:01:31
  studio do you know I was like you know I was like is he is he blessing our house I'm like
• 1:01:37
  I don't mind yes yes it has a blessing to have so definitely I do have ritual in my life you know
• 1:01:45
  there's morning prayers and afternoon prayers and evening prayers um but I guess what I'm saying is
• 1:01:51
  it's not a tool don't turn it into some some performance enhancing tool to improve your life
• 1:02:06
  it is your life what I'm trying to say is don't just turn your spirituality whatever you call
• 1:02:16
  your spiritual don't turn that just into another thing that is ultimately only there to bolster
• 1:02:24
  and reinforce me because I see people that do that these sit people that use religion as a
• 1:02:30
  cross I see people that use religion as a a way to network religion as a way to build business I
• 1:02:36
  mean there's a lot of in my opinion and correct ways to use religion absolutely absolutely
• 1:02:42
  absolutely and and and the common denominator of the misuse of faith religion spiritually is
• 1:02:50
  that it becomes self-serving and inherently spirituality is about surrender to something greater
• 1:02:59
  than myself so it's the opposite of self-serving I'm not serving me I'm surrendering I'm getting
• 1:03:07
  out of that I'm trying to be of service to someone to something else so religion faith spirituality
• 1:03:17
  yeah a lot of times people use it to enhance their lives it's not there to enhance your life
• 1:03:22
  it's not there to enhance your life it's there to get you to give you the opportunity to take
• 1:03:27
  finally why do you want to enhance your life why do you want to be more of yourself that's
• 1:03:33
  comfortable you think that becoming a bigger and bigger self that's what we're put here for
• 1:03:40
  it's about becoming less and less of myself in the sense of surrendering to something bigger and
• 1:03:46
  becoming part of that self-transcendence as opposed to self-enhancment self-enhancment it just
• 1:03:55
  becomes this vicious cycle it's an addiction self-enhancment I see a lot of it and not even with
• 1:04:02
  religion this self-improved way that could be anything people consume this business yeah old
• 1:04:07
  plunges retreats so whatever it is but itself enhancement and it becomes this this hamster wheel
• 1:04:17
  when it's healthy it's self-transcendence and helps you to get over yourself helps you to
• 1:04:24
  to forget about yourself in a healthy way as opposed to to distractions which are also a way
• 1:04:34
  of forgetting about ourselves but that's um temporarily distracting ourselves it doesn't really
• 1:04:42
  bring you a place greater than self it's just you you're still sitting where you're sitting
• 1:04:48
  you're just watching an interesting movie so you're not thinking about it and that's the that's
• 1:04:52
  the pain killer that's a temporary medicine versus hell so there's always got to be something
• 1:04:59
  bigger than me every every account every accomplishment on a personal level has to be examined
• 1:05:08
  it was in this context of what purpose does this serve outside of myself outside of just
• 1:05:19
  my own personal life it's maddening to have the only goal of your life to be for the enhancement
• 1:05:28
  of your life it's exhausting but I think that's the majority of people yeah where does
• 1:05:38
  you mentioned at the beginning again you see anxiety plague a lot of people yeah
• 1:05:44
  yeah is there a through line between anxiety and the enhancement of oneself is that too far
• 1:05:52
  of a stretch or is there a through line there oh for sure self-transcendence is the antidote to
• 1:06:03
  self-obsession the more focused on self we are the more uncomfortable we are you think about
• 1:06:13
  when you're lost in in a good way in like that flow state where you're not even particularly aware
• 1:06:21
  of yourself where do I end and the activity that I'm engaged in you know begins and it's just you
• 1:06:30
  you lose yourself in a good way um think about that and how much peace how much serenity
• 1:06:39
  it's associated with that as opposed to being in your head where you're monitoring
• 1:06:46
  you know is the chair comfortable is that it is the air too warm is it too cool is
• 1:06:52
  and are people smiling at me are they frowning at me
• 1:07:01
  lock in the room it's like who should I sit next to that the most influential person to sit next to
• 1:07:06
  all of that internal talk that that self-obsession of trying to get get it just right Goldilocks
• 1:07:16
  right just right then I'll make a person very anxious it's very stressful as opposed to surrendering
• 1:07:25
  and just showing up and saying you know God has put me in this place right now it must be the right
• 1:07:30
  place like why would I think about any plate like right now I'm sitting here with you I guess
• 1:07:37
  theory there are other places I could be there are other people I could be sitting with but that's not
• 1:07:42
  where God put me right now I'm here with you and the more I can just be immersed in what's happening
• 1:07:52
  here as something greater than me you know it's not my agenda it's not me coming here to sound
• 1:07:57
  smart on your podcast it's like I'm I'm trying to just have not just not have an experience but just
• 1:08:05
  be part of an experience um and the more that I'm able to do that the more relaxed I am and
• 1:08:15
  if I go into my head and I start thinking well hold on a second I want to make sure to say this
• 1:08:19
  line because I think that's awful clever and I'll make sure that I don't make a good clip and
• 1:08:25
  you know then then that's where the stress sets in so the absolute self-transcendence is the
• 1:08:31
  antidote to self-obsession self-obsession is the root of anxiety I just want to take a second and
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  thank fresh books for supporting today's episode now there are three numbers that you have to know
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• 1:11:47
  that thought with performance because at the end of the day we still have to perform yeah yeah
• 1:11:53
  and when you say perform you mean to no no not put on a mask I mean to results results yes right
• 1:12:00
  you have to show something yet to show something so I could sit here I could have you know five
• 1:12:05
  or six drinks and I could be very relaxed the podcasts would probably or maybe it would be better
• 1:12:11
  I don't know right see I think this is one of the greatness understandings like I was saying before
• 1:12:17
  about people feel like they're their output is linked to their success and they turn that into an
• 1:12:28
  idol so similarly I this may be a bridge too far from many people but I don't think we have to be
• 1:12:40
  so obsessed with performance with with by for pharmacy I don't mean putting on a mask I mean by
• 1:12:48
  showing results when you're doing what you do when you're doing what you're naturally good at
• 1:13:01
  and enjoying it and losing yourself in it and doing it for a purpose that's ultimately greater than
• 1:13:08
  yourself awesome results are natural it's almost effortless I can tell you my own life that there
• 1:13:18
  are things that I toil I work so hard on and either it I barely accomplished them or I didn't even
• 1:13:27
  accomplished them and there are other things that I was just having a good time and it was wildly
• 1:13:34
  successful so I think we have this misconception that there has to be stress and strain
• 1:13:48
  in order to be serious about accomplishing and a lot of people believe that I try to not believe it
• 1:13:55
  but I'm lying to myself because I think that I never believe it if you're doing what you're
• 1:14:00
  gifted at now I by the way I'm a strong believer in when I spoke before about you have to know yourself
• 1:14:06
  one of the things I believe in is knowing your strengths and leaning into them I've spoken about
• 1:14:12
  I said find out who you are and do that on purpose if you're doing what you're gifted at
• 1:14:18
  it really shouldn't be stressful now when we're trying to be something we're not
• 1:14:23
  because for whatever reason we think that that image is a desirable a lot of times it happens when
• 1:14:32
  we're very young we see a certain image of success or what we in an immature state of mind consider
• 1:14:38
  to be successful and then we like make this contract with ourselves when we're like five years old
• 1:14:43
  and you wake up and you're 30 you're like am I still trying to satisfy five years old's idea of
• 1:14:47
  success I don't even like this this is not even me right happens all the time but if you really
• 1:14:53
  doing what you gifted at you can accomplish without straining by the way this is a total aside
• 1:15:06
  it might seem like a non-sequitur but I'm a big believer in hiring experts and paying them
• 1:15:13
  disproportionately for their time what I mean is this I don't care if you took five minutes
• 1:15:22
  to write that ad copy whatever it is I want the guy who when he's doing that job he's in his
• 1:15:32
  most natural state like that's his place of natural relaxed self and I don't care if he's able to
• 1:15:42
  and by the way a lot of people have imposter syndrome about it they'll be like but I don't
• 1:15:46
  even work at it now it took me five minutes yeah but I can have another team spend five hours or
• 1:15:53
  five days on it don't never be as inspired as what's coming out of you so I'm a big believer in
• 1:16:00
  finding people who are really gifted at something and just like let them do it let them shine let
• 1:16:08
  them flow and I'm a big believer in doing that for ourselves and if there's something that I'm not
• 1:16:14
  good at delegate that hire someone to do that like really if you want to go to the next level you
• 1:16:23
  should only be doing the things that you do almost effortlessly it's counterintuitive because we
• 1:16:31
  think there's got to be the grind but the truth is you want to go to the next level your genius is
• 1:16:38
  going to come out effortlessly and if there's things that are hard for you hire the person who
• 1:16:48
  it's not hard for how do you find those things well one problem is that we spend a lot of time
• 1:16:56
  trying to be something for other people that we lose touch with those things like it should be
• 1:17:05
  the most natural thing in the world to know what my gifts are but we spend so much effort trying to
• 1:17:12
  put up this avatar that we use touch with it I think well I have a theory about this actually
• 1:17:23
  when you hear my theory about this I love to this is a theory I have when you're young and whatever
• 1:17:34
  dysfunction there was in your home you want to make yourself feel safe and so you pick something
• 1:17:44
  that works so one kid learns how to become invisible another kid learns how to fight
• 1:17:53
  you know the one screams at the parents another kid learns to be the comedian defuse everything crack a
• 1:18:01
  joke you know another person learns to be the philosopher he intellectualizes it another kid learns
• 1:18:12
  to be the diplomat tries to make peace and then that becomes your thing because that's what you
• 1:18:23
  learned how to do when you're five six years old and you were just trying to cope with with this
• 1:18:27
  function of your family you grew up in and you become really really good at that thing like
• 1:18:35
  awesome at that thing the problem is that that thing that you're the best at is also you're undoing
• 1:18:44
  because it's in obstacle to intimate relationships because if your go-to let's say is crack the joke
• 1:18:51
  that's what work when I was a kid and then you're trying to have an intimate relationship we're trying
• 1:18:56
  to be genuine but anytime there's any amount of stress your go-to thing is crack the joke and then
• 1:19:03
  the person is trying to get close to you will be like can you not crack a joke and the answer is
• 1:19:06
  kind of like well no I can't not crack a joke like this is if I'm to be honest like if I don't have
• 1:19:16
  this tool then I'm terrified because then I'm back as a little kid scared that the world's blowing
• 1:19:26
  up and I don't know how to feel safe so those things which become our greatest strengths become our
• 1:19:33
  greatest undoing now a lot of times people will find success with that thing they'll monetize it
• 1:19:41
  they'll turn it into an image they'll turn it into a brand and then there's a lot of reinforcement
• 1:19:46
  for and then it's almost impossible to walk away from almost impossible even if it will destroy
• 1:19:52
  all of your real relationships it's almost impossible to walk away from because you're just getting
• 1:19:57
  so much reinforcement for it I see people like this all the time about a celebrities by the way like
• 1:20:03
  you know the person with the most seemingly extroverted personality and in real life is completely lonely
• 1:20:14
  so what do you do you come to a point where you're like okay because I actually just have one
• 1:20:22
  one more thought before you keep going I think that what actually ends up happening I love that
• 1:20:26
  theory I think it's probably very accurate but I think what actually happens this makes a lot
• 1:20:31
  of sense is you actually start to believe that you believe that's the thing that you actually
• 1:20:35
  should be doing because you get all this reinforcement so now you you are not even listening to your
• 1:20:40
  subconscious anymore you're conscious of saying yes that's you correct right there's a lot of
• 1:20:45
  things you got to online there right okay so then let's take all blows up hit bottom
• 1:20:56
  and now you basically say you know what I have no idea who I am I have no idea who I am
• 1:21:02
  and by the way that's the most profoundly spiritual experience you can have is when you hit
• 1:21:06
  bottom and you say everything that I developed and ordered to succeed in life has ruined my life
• 1:21:13
  and now I'm free fallen I'm letting go of it all and if if I think I be I establish my brand I'm
• 1:21:20
  being the smartest guy in the room I'm dropping that I'm dropping that I'm not doing that I know
• 1:21:25
  that was my go-to thing I know that was the thing that I did as a bid for security I can't do it
• 1:21:29
  anymore I'm letting go of that what am I now I don't know what I'm I don't know I don't know I don't
• 1:21:34
  have a sense of self I'm what I'm I'm clay in the hands of of the potter at this point I'm just
• 1:21:42
  at that point of just surrender of like just use me God I don't know what I am I'm here to show up
• 1:21:48
  with no agenda with no proclivities with no with absolutely no opinion I'm just showing up
• 1:22:00
  and then what happens if you can reach this point if he can reach this point is that
• 1:22:12
  God will give you back those skills
• 1:22:21
  but it'll be on his terms and you'll discover that that thing that you spent a lifetime
• 1:22:29
  perfecting you really are good at it and you really ought to be using it but no longer
• 1:22:38
  as a tool to serve yourself you no longer serve yourself because you've surrendered you've already
• 1:22:45
  accepted God do whatever you want with me but you happen to also be good at that thing but now
• 1:22:52
  instead of using it because you have to because you feel you have no choice almost like a
• 1:22:57
  compulsion now you get to use it with free choice you get to say you know what I happen to know
• 1:23:05
  how to do such and such let me use this for a cause greater than myself that's where the
• 1:23:14
  your real life begins so to speak is when you go back to all the stuff that you were using as a
• 1:23:23
  tool for your own safety and security you've given that up because you say my safety and security
• 1:23:32
  comes from the fact that I'm surrendered to a power greater than myself I'm no longer trying to
• 1:23:36
  make a bid for my own safety and security oh but I have these talents I have these skills
• 1:23:43
  now let me just use them for the greater good and that's where your second life so to speak your
• 1:23:51
  real life really begins where you can go back and use these skills but without them using you
• 1:24:02
  without becoming a slave to them without idolizing them I was going to ask do you feel it makes a
• 1:24:09
  lot of sense that's an incredible journey that somebody put in theory go on but you feel like
• 1:24:13
  may people ever go on that journey very few people will go on this journey let alone complete it
• 1:24:23
  but those who do will find themselves their true selves look I'm sitting here I'm talking to you
• 1:24:31
  I basically thank God I guess I'm lucky that I don't have a normal nine to five job I don't have to
• 1:24:38
  do anything that I don't like doing to make a living I basically just get to talk and say cool
• 1:24:45
  thing it's just how to do the same thing okay so then you know what I'm talking so tell me if you
• 1:24:51
  relate to it it does it does relate to me I was good at talking since I was a little kid but I did
• 1:24:58
  it because it was my way of feeling safe because when the kids were behaving in ways that confused me
• 1:25:05
  and I didn't understand why I was not fitting in or why something was happening there
• 1:25:12
  people were like jockeying for social position and I didn't know how to secure my position
• 1:25:17
  and the only tool I had was to speak and to say something witty or profound and then the only
• 1:25:25
  way that I found of getting notice of getting approval was again pearls of wisdom that's what gets
• 1:25:32
  it right and that becomes an addiction and then it becomes a false self and it divorces you
• 1:25:38
  you from your true self and it becomes your undoing and then you have to walk away from it and say
• 1:25:43
  I will never do this again if this is not what God wants for me and then what happens on the other
• 1:25:48
  side of that God is like let him glad to you surrender that by the way you do know how to talk so
• 1:25:54
  I would like you to talk but not for yourself anymore I want you to talk for me and I have never
• 1:25:58
  really thought about my own journey that to that degree I mean I'm fortunate that I do this
• 1:26:03
  for a living now but I'm trying to think I guess I use talking to make money and sales you know
• 1:26:10
  marketing that you talk to make money and then there was a point where I didn't have to do it anymore
• 1:26:14
  but then I started to enjoy it but it wasn't forced so when I started the podcast it was not forced
• 1:26:19
  it was it was just fun maybe I'm simplifying your thought too much I don't mean to do that
• 1:26:25
  no you can never simplify too much if something is true then it should I use this force myself
• 1:26:31
  to be a good not just speaker but question asker because that's what made me money
• 1:26:37
  right that's what happens in sales you ask enough questions you get to the end result you get to
• 1:26:41
  the the root of the when did you learn how to ask questions I've always been very curious yeah where
• 1:26:47
  did that come from I don't know where that came from I don't know far back as you can remember yeah
• 1:26:53
  when did you discover tell me about an early memory where you discovered hey if you keep
• 1:26:57
  asking people questions you get somewhere it was probably to get what I wanted out of my parents
• 1:27:02
  how old were you six seven as young as I can possibly remember because when they said no to me
• 1:27:09
  I would ask a million questions to try and uncover the logic in them saying no to the point
• 1:27:13
  where they cave then and it's probably a mega it's it's not a great it is what it is it's not
• 1:27:20
  but but it's a skill that you discovered in trying to negotiate the situation in your family
• 1:27:27
  of origin as a child and then you realized that you could expand that and you could do it with
• 1:27:33
  other people and in other situations and I found that actually the more questions I asked
• 1:27:39
  it was strange to me but people always said that I had I seemed very compelling I had a lot of
• 1:27:44
  influence but I never felt like I was imposing my thoughts on people I felt like I was always
• 1:27:50
  asking and understanding them better so that I could understand what they want out of me and then
• 1:27:54
  I would deliver that because coupled with the question asking I think I was always a yes person
• 1:28:00
  I was a people pleasing person I always I always felt like I had to please people probably also
• 1:28:04
  coming back to like my parents and as a kid so I always wanted what I wanted but I never wanted
• 1:28:09
  to disappoint them at the same time anyway so I just and then it morphed into a career okay so
• 1:28:16
  you realized you had this skill and you realized that it has a lot of different applications
• 1:28:23
  which can be monetized and you did it and did it well and we're well compensated very much so
• 1:28:31
  and it got to a point where you I don't know if you can try to remember the time where it became
• 1:28:39
  the at what point was this skill the hardest would it have been the hardest to walk away from
• 1:28:48
  my entire professional life here entirely yeah I mean there wasn't a single point it was like
• 1:28:52
  that's how you make money right so now I would have had to in my mind so it's that free choice
• 1:28:57
  no you're stuck yeah I'm like I'm yes it's golden handcuffs with this skill the hand yeah right
• 1:29:04
  so that's when it becomes the person and now it leads over to your personal life like
• 1:29:09
  when do I turn it off I don't think I ever turn it off so I never I literally never turn it off
• 1:29:13
  in fact in fact it's gotten to the point like I mean like I don't think there's always a clear
• 1:29:20
  point of delineation either so now in my work I'm fortunate that I can do this for a living and I
• 1:29:26
  didn't have to worry about money when I started the podcast so I did do this for fun but even in my
• 1:29:32
  like social interactions like when I'm going on people are gonna listen to oh my god I bet Scott's
• 1:29:36
  not fun to go out with but stay with me um like I don't like small talk I can't stand small talk
• 1:29:44
  so when I go out I like to ask questions and you get questions deep questions doesn't matter if I'm
• 1:29:50
  sober going out for a drink I hate small talk how's the weather I can't stand talking about the weather
• 1:29:56
  I can't stand it and and a lot of people are just happy with having small talk and casual
• 1:30:00
  conversation to me the second it's small talk casual conversation I'll pull up my phone I'll be
• 1:30:05
  more I I don't want to be part of this anymore and the people that I enjoy spending time with other
• 1:30:09
  people that don't mind going deep on topic what's the meaning of life back okay maybe not always
• 1:30:17
  that deep I want you to map this out how you went from this skill that you discovered as a child
• 1:30:23
  when you're abadding your parents which um then you started to realize had other applications then
• 1:30:29
  you realized make it made a lot of money then became golden handcuffs that you could not walk
• 1:30:33
  away from it was no longer free will I mean I still technically have a walk away from it but
• 1:30:39
  you're telling me you've come to a point now where there is a certain amount of joy and play
• 1:30:47
  a lot a lot of a lot of joy and play in what I do so I want to map that out for people
• 1:30:53
  because you know this journey you're describing well I described it and I described it then you
• 1:30:58
  called it you labeled it you called it a journey and I said very few people do it sounds like you've
• 1:31:02
  done it at least in park in a way I don't want to ever like not all what's in progress but I'm
• 1:31:08
  saying this thing this thing that you do we all have that thing that we do right you could have
• 1:31:16
  remained in the golden handcuffs mode for the rest of your life where it becomes a compulsion and
• 1:31:21
  you literally can't walk away from it because the stakes are too high and and also because it
• 1:31:25
  becomes your identity and like who would you be without it and so you're stuck there's no joy
• 1:31:33
  there's no play it's just slavery and you came to a point now where you're able to do this thing
• 1:31:43
  that you do but you do it without compulsion right let's map that because I'll tell you so I know
• 1:31:52
  the pattern because I've seen it every time but let me tell you why I want to hear if your story
• 1:31:56
  fits the pattern then I go so the reason why okay so the reason why I chose to do this
• 1:32:03
  for a living it makes it makes a little bit of money with ads and whatnot I mean it's not
• 1:32:08
  I could have gone and tried to build another company or gone to work and I could have done that
• 1:32:15
  but the reason why I didn't want to do that and I wanted to focus on doing something that had
• 1:32:20
  a little bit more joy attached to it was because in my mind this also led to good lifestyle where I
• 1:32:26
  can now spend more time with my family so I saw a lot of negatives associated with using this
• 1:32:31
  skill in like the way that I've done it for the past 15 years I saw a lot of negatives associated
• 1:32:37
  with that and in my mind I said the next dollar or the next comma in the bank account is not worth
• 1:32:44
  the sacrifice based on what my priorities are and that's why I decided to do this for fun because
• 1:32:51
  I wanted to focus on something that was more meaningful to me than the next again next comma next
• 1:32:57
  x million dollars so you made a deliberate decision a little bit yeah yeah very much so
• 1:33:05
  I think that if people are like listening to your story and are inspired by which I think by the
• 1:33:12
  way many people will be because this is a great thing most people wish they could be doing something
• 1:33:17
  they enjoy and you are you doing what you enjoy so I just want to describe what it is
• 1:33:26
  that this journey entails the thing the very same thing that was your adaptation as a child
• 1:33:40
  was your coping mechanism defense mechanism and then became your identity and could have become
• 1:33:48
  a literal enslavement you were able to jump tracks and bring that thing with you and use it
• 1:34:02
  for something bigger than you meaning this vision you have of what a truly meaningful life is
• 1:34:11
  and I think that this is a really important message because all of us have that thing or maybe
• 1:34:20
  sometimes more than one thing but at least a thing that if we continue to do it as a compulsion
• 1:34:27
  if we do it as a defense mechanism it rules us but if we can surrender to a greater vision a higher
• 1:34:37
  a more lofty more noble idea of what life is about and say no it's not about another comment
• 1:34:44
  in the bank account like you what you call it what we discover is that that thing
• 1:34:52
  has noble uses that will not only make us happy but will make the world a better place
• 1:35:02
  I believe I believe I'm very fortunate because I think that I'm living like you mentioned
• 1:35:08
  what most people would want in their life is to do something they find fun and enjoyable but also
• 1:35:13
  I do believe that almost everybody on this earth if they had the means to would enjoy teaching
• 1:35:19
  their lived experience and other people's lived experiences to people that are struggling
• 1:35:23
  I think that humans are genuinely altruistic and I mean I'm trying to do it at scale with the
• 1:35:28
  podcast because I wish that there were shows like this in conversations like this when I was young
• 1:35:34
  you know whatever 1920 and I could listen to you and sort of get a better and there probably was
• 1:35:39
  it just within clocked into them but that's really why I wanted to do it I've always loved teaching
• 1:35:44
  I've always loved helping out people my first job ever ever was coaching kids at tennis like
• 1:35:49
  yeah so I've always enjoyed sort of giving back and that's where and then you I don't know if I
• 1:35:56
  fit the the first description you said was when everything falls apart and then you give up and
• 1:36:03
  then yeah it sounds like you didn't have to have such a big crush I did have a huge crisis for
• 1:36:08
  this you mentioned I jumped try to decision yeah you made a choice now I don't know why I did that
• 1:36:13
  you're lucky most people don't most people everything falls apart and then they have they begin
• 1:36:21
  that second life but the the fact that you were able to do it as a calculated choice and to say you
• 1:36:31
  know what I'm on a certain track that's not the track I want to be on I think because I've been over
• 1:36:38
  exposed to people that have gone down you learned from other people's mistakes you've seen enough
• 1:36:43
  of those tragedies so it was crisis it just wasn't your own crisis which means you're very lucky because
• 1:36:52
  you don't have to go throughout yourself but let me ask you a question you've seen people
• 1:37:00
  who were super successful and miserable a lot question for you from the people or have you seen
• 1:37:09
  people who came through that crisis came out the other side and found meaning yes and I know people
• 1:37:16
  that are going through it right now people who are going through that transition sold companies for
• 1:37:21
  hundreds of millions of dollars and are going through it right now okay so I would say to those
• 1:37:27
  people that what you will discover on the other side of the crisis is in some ways not all that
• 1:37:36
  different than the you that you're abandoning and as much as you will have the same skills you'll
• 1:37:47
  just be free to use them for something greater there's the I'll tell you a story a little story
• 1:37:54
  to a little story parable there's a guy driving in the car he's miserable he hates his life
• 1:38:01
  and he's not religious but he at that moment he utters a prayer and he says God I hate my life
• 1:38:07
  driving on the interstates and God I hate my life want a new life all of a sudden in the carry here's
• 1:38:13
  the voice of God God says you're in luck I've got a new life for you for a very reasonable price
• 1:38:20
  guy says what's the price God says how much you got on you he said 20 bucks on God says oh perfect
• 1:38:27
  the price of your new life is $20 back says God I'm giving you the $20 you see the gas is going
• 1:38:34
  low in the car I'm gonna have to put gas in the car soon if I put if I give you the $20 I'm not
• 1:38:39
  gonna have money or gas for the car God says oh you know the car that's right yeah price for your
• 1:38:45
  new life just went up at $20 in your car says if I give you my car how many how am I gonna get
• 1:38:53
  to work in the morning God says oh you have a job gainfully employed price for your new life
• 1:38:59
  as I want your $20 I want your car I want your job this doesn't give you my job how am I gonna pay
• 1:39:04
  the mortgage oh homeowner yeah okay price for your new life now that's going up to $20 you
• 1:39:11
  car your job in your house says I give you my house where my wife and children are gonna live
• 1:39:17
  life and children very good price for your new life is $20 your car your job your house your wife
• 1:39:23
  your kids the guy at this point realizes he better shut up because every time he speaks price
• 1:39:28
  is going up so God says all right I'm about to give you a new life but before I do that I want to
• 1:39:37
  know if you can do something for me you guys just mm-hmm he doesn't want to speak he's ready to
• 1:39:41
  suit mm-hmm God says okay see this $20 not your $20 my $20 God says but I want you to spend it
• 1:39:50
  but because it's not yours you don't buy what you want you buy what I want can you do that
• 1:39:55
  you guys just mm-hmm God says you see this car you stuff a car just like this you don't
• 1:39:59
  know where it's my car God says but I want you to drive but because it's not your car you only
• 1:40:04
  drive it where I want to go you see this job God says not your job it's my job you show up every
• 1:40:10
  day there and you do business the way that I want business but see this house is that your house
• 1:40:15
  God says my house God says wait I want you to live in it and I want you to treat it like that's
• 1:40:19
  God you see this wife and children they're not your wife and children God says they're my wife
• 1:40:22
  and children I want you to treat them that way can you do this for me the guy says mm-hmm God says
• 1:40:29
  great then here's your $20 here's your car here good job here's your house here's your wife
• 1:40:36
  and here's your new life what's the difference between the old life and the new life
• 1:40:42
  it's the same stuff it's just the question of how you're using it the old life it's mine
• 1:40:52
  I was using it for me and I was caught in that loop the new life is same stuff
• 1:40:58
  but I'm free now it's not mine it's all part of service it's all part of the bigger picture it's
• 1:41:06
  all part of what I can give back this podcast is brought to you and part by stash are you still
• 1:41:11
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• 1:42:04
  an SEC registered investment advisor investing involves risks and investments may lose value
• 1:42:09
  offer a subject to tease and seize same stock you know we started this conversation we started
• 1:42:16
  this conversation speaking about anxiety and all of a sudden when you frame it the way you frame it
• 1:42:25
  I think this all is a lot of the anxiety problem because you're not concerned about self anymore
• 1:42:31
  that was a very that's a very long answer to why is there so much anxiety it's because of self-serving
• 1:42:40
  so when we have opportunities such as material resources or human resources like good network
• 1:42:55
  or good name a good brand good reputation we can become enslaved to those things and live in fear
• 1:43:03
  of losing those things and live as slaves to the grind of maintaining those things
• 1:43:12
  or we could say none of that stuff belongs to me anyway I'm just a steward
• 1:43:17
  how can I use as long as I have access to those things how can I use them to accomplish something
• 1:43:24
  bigger than me you mentioned something about shifting the perspective of
• 1:43:33
  is hopefully this will resonate it's a little bit of a I guess I mean all these conversations have
• 1:43:38
  been relatively deep but this is an interesting thought so you mentioned how ownership moves from
• 1:43:46
  you owning all these things and serving yourself to to God really owning these things and these are
• 1:43:52
  just things that you really have on lease from God and you're meant to serve a higher purpose
• 1:43:58
  um where does where does God fit into someone's life and what I mean by that
• 1:44:08
  is when you are especially in a family unit where does God fit into the relationship between your
• 1:44:15
  wife and your children who do you who do you serve first is it God or do you serve your wife first
• 1:44:23
  or do you serve your kids first because that's also I've heard people confused about this because
• 1:44:31
  some people claim they're being holy when they're using God as their excuse from mistreating other
• 1:44:38
  people so you see a lot of times where let's say a family relationship will suffer and it's because
• 1:44:49
  somebody is claiming the moral high ground well you know it's a holy work God told me that I have
• 1:44:57
  you know they have to do this and what do you say to someone like that God told me you know
• 1:45:03
  when somebody and once they're invoking the God card there's very little you can tell them to
• 1:45:09
  talk them down and I say in the context of families I think this is probably the I mean it can be
• 1:45:14
  in context of business too where people say oh God told me to do this or do that to that first
• 1:45:20
  and I don't literally mean someone saying the voice of God not I understand where you're saying
• 1:45:24
  but more like moral high ground of well this is what this is the this is the right thing and you know
• 1:45:32
  it's so such a misappropriation of whole concept of having
• 1:45:40
  an absolute value system of having an unmovable sense of right and wrong it's not a person has a
• 1:45:51
  real sense of morality it is not supposed to be more rigid they're supposed to be more flexible
• 1:46:04
  when you're working for God when you're a steward or you're in a mode of service then sacrifice
• 1:46:15
  comes easily so the holiest person is the person who's the most flexible not the person who's
• 1:46:28
  breaking others
• 1:46:35
  we want to be tough be tough with yourself the exacting from yourself but real spirituality as
• 1:46:49
  opposed to feigned spirituality for the purposes of self-aggrandizement is about tolerance
• 1:47:01
  you see people who used their moral position to
• 1:47:06
  to
• 1:47:10
  ostracize them i mean even in uh see it in every doesn't matter which religion any very religious group
• 1:47:19
  and they have a family member or a community member that's not as religious
• 1:47:24
  it's not a fun relationship right and then declaim the moral high ground but the reality is
• 1:47:31
  it's just coming from fear you're afraid somebody is challenging the power structures
• 1:47:37
  and therefore you know you bring down uh bring down pressure on them to try to get them to conform
• 1:47:46
  or to squeeze them out because you're afraid they're going to be stabilized things so the story is
• 1:47:52
  all this time so and that gives people a faith a bad rap
• 1:48:04
  yeah so what i would say is like if you're listening to this now and you are becoming more spiritually
• 1:48:12
  aware more spiritually conscious you are trying to live a more god centered life i would say one
• 1:48:20
  barometer that you can use to see if you're truly growing your spirituality is
• 1:48:27
  if your relationships with other people are becoming if your retreatment of them is becoming more
• 1:48:35
  compassionate not less
• 1:48:40
  yes
• 1:48:45
  everyone's got a story please got a story and the more you can live from a god centered place where
• 1:48:54
  we're all put here for a purpose we all have a unique and wondrous and wonderful story
• 1:49:00
  the more you can look at people that way i think the more space you have in your mind
• 1:49:07
  for them as opposed to like you don't fit into the reality and make me uncomfortable your existence
• 1:49:12
  makes me uncomfortable yeah i've always thought about that i think that's one of the the the
• 1:49:22
  ranking of god in your life and where where god fits and how that affects your relationship with
• 1:49:30
  others that's always been interesting to me i think that's something because you have
• 1:49:35
  we have two opposites into the spectrum that we've spoken about we have people that have no
• 1:49:39
  spirituality or spirituality involved version there's a lot of godlessness and there's people that
• 1:49:46
  include god but then almost to the detriment of the relationships with other people
• 1:49:52
  we're to the detriment or true that is too to the detriment of and i think that i don't know why
• 1:50:01
  i'm not i'm not smart enough to know why we always default to extremes maybe you have
• 1:50:06
  experiences so why we always default to extremes but i just want to leave people um after this
• 1:50:14
  conversation at least with some sort of map or guide for how to operate with spirituality
• 1:50:22
  but in the right in the right way kind of like what you are alluding to the barometer for whether
• 1:50:26
  or not you're adopting spirituality properly it's interesting it's adopting spirituality
• 1:50:32
  properly yeah 100% is the right way in a wrong way probably many wrong ways
• 1:50:41
  it's it's always dangerous to have the moral eye ground because with the human tendency the
• 1:50:46
  human tendency is to to weaponize that and the once you're using it to feel superior to others
• 1:50:58
  definitely you don't have it lost it already i've noticed it sometimes when people commit their
• 1:51:04
  life to a new thing we can talk about average it doesn't really know it's definitely not always
• 1:51:09
  religion right so you ever seen somebody who's worked out for the first time yeah uh and they
• 1:51:15
  they go back to the gym they go on all these uh diaprograms they're whatever they're ozampic or whatever
• 1:51:20
  and they lose weight my goodness it they become insufferable for correct right they
• 1:51:29
  yeah somebody who used to be really heavy let's say that's the example you and they lost a lot of weight
• 1:51:37
  yet they are more likely to be the guy come over and say to you you need to lose weight excuse me
• 1:51:45
  like you coming i know that you don't have to point that out to me like well this is so inappropriate
• 1:51:50
  right but yeah they feel they have this um this license now and you know let's let's talk about
• 1:52:01
  again the idea of your thing your thing whatever it is that thing that you do ultimately is meant
• 1:52:12
  to be used for service there's a thin line between let's say your thing is you were really bad at
• 1:52:22
  something and then you mastered it and you had a breakthrough okay so you were really unhealthy
• 1:52:27
  and then you became healthy or you were really bad with money and then you became really
• 1:52:31
  good with money whatever it is it's a very thin line between coming back with a vengeance and then
• 1:52:36
  just sort of like condemning everyone else who's not yet good at that or coming back as a teacher
• 1:52:43
  and saying i know the pain i'm no better than you i'm just further along in the process than you
• 1:52:52
  know this is a thin line between those two but the experience of it is night and day
• 1:53:01
  guy who comes to you and because i had a problem and i fixed it and instead of feeling grateful
• 1:53:11
  he feels entitled now to have the the loudest voice about that issue nobody wants to be coached
• 1:53:19
  by that person but the guy who comes to you and says dude you're not so bad i was much worse
• 1:53:26
  and there but for the grace of god go i i could i could still be much worse i'm blessed i'm really lucky
• 1:53:34
  and i can share with you some of the things that happened for me
• 1:53:40
  and maybe they can happen for you like wow everyone wants to be coached by that guy
• 1:53:45
  what else you want to talk about i got one more thing i didn't know if you i got one more no i
• 1:53:51
  didn't know if you had another thought on that that's not just here the last thing that i thought
• 1:53:56
  was very interesting was the ideas of legacy of mortality especially for people that are trying to
• 1:54:07
  build a legacy it's a useful thing to build towards or this a waste of time then i guess
• 1:54:14
  legacy i tied into mortality because ultimately it's about thinking about what happens after you die
• 1:54:19
  should you be thinking about what happens after you die or should you be using your mortality as a
• 1:54:25
  tool almost through a stoic philosophy to accomplish as much in this lifetime as you possibly can
• 1:54:34
  and i really concern yourself about like what happens after you die what do y'all have said
• 1:54:41
  some people try to achieve immortality through their work i would like to achieve a
• 1:54:47
  immortality through not dying that's good yeah um the answer to this question is the same as
• 1:54:57
  everything else who's been well i using it to serve self or to serve something greater than
• 1:55:04
  yourself because listen there are people who their legacy is just one more self-serving project it's
• 1:55:11
  their ultimate and final self-serving project i'm gonna put my name on that hospital right
• 1:55:18
  on that university or on that aquarium and it's just one more bid for
• 1:55:32
  self-enhancment and i guess you're giving money to a good cause other people are benefiting from
• 1:55:39
  it so i guess it's not all negative but you think that that satisfies your soul and heaven i don't
• 1:55:46
  think so if it's not satisfying to live that way during your lifetime it's not satisfying to live
• 1:55:53
  that way after your lifetime forget about legacy think about service what is going to accomplish
• 1:56:07
  something that will continue to to read dividends after you're gone think about it very simple in terms
• 1:56:15
  of ripple effect expanding the influence maximizing or amplifying the effect
• 1:56:26
  put your name on it don't put your name on it okay what difference does it make that's not
• 1:56:31
  legacy legacy is not your name is on something now sometimes it's good to put your name on something
• 1:56:37
  because it encourages other people to give because it arouses a little that's a different that's a
• 1:56:41
  competition yeah that's some by the way i've told donors in situations where
• 1:56:48
  people wanted to be anonymous and sometimes they want to be anonymous for very legitimate reasons
• 1:56:54
  but that's also like the highest form of maturity yeah the minorities eight levels of of giving
• 1:56:59
  right with a giver in the recipient don't know each other right so and that's by the way when
• 1:57:03
  you're talking about let's say a pauper a poor person who let's say is having their food paid for
• 1:57:10
  by somebody so it's better that the giver in the recipient don't know each other but let's say you're
• 1:57:16
  you're funding an organization okay where there's no there's no embarrassment in recipient
• 1:57:25
  receiving from you but there's a certain humility in being anonymous however however and i've
• 1:57:32
  told donors this in the past i'm telling you if i put your name on this donation if we
• 1:57:40
  put your name i know there's another guy who's going to give so your money your x amount
• 1:57:49
  your hundred thousand is really going to effectively be two hundred thousand if so and so
• 1:57:54
  i was going to see it and not want to be left out and in that case take the hit for the team
• 1:58:00
  and put your name on it because it's going to end up bringing in more money for the cause
• 1:58:06
  but yeah it's not about
• 1:58:12
  your name being on something and people knowing that it's you doesn't matter if people know that it's
• 1:58:18
  you if you want legacy then figure out how to set something up that's going to be i'll call it
• 1:58:27
  passive income where you can die and it's still doing good you don't have to run it
• 1:58:35
  that's legacy so the more opportunities you have the more resources you have access to
• 1:58:45
  the easier it is to set that up if you're strategic about you know what's funny by the way
• 1:58:50
  i have dealt with two types of philanthropists and they're about equally distributed
• 1:59:01
  about half and half there are philanthropists who give charity with the same business
• 1:59:08
  acumen as they make money they're very prudent how they invest their charity and then like
• 1:59:18
  another whole half of philanthropists who it almost seems like once they're not in the business
• 1:59:25
  mode once they're in charity mode they're like at the roulette table it's in in vegas it's like
• 1:59:31
  such wild abandon irresponsible no accounting it's bizarre it's strange that if you made that money
• 1:59:39
  you'd think you'd have the same due diligence for you for you to invest it or it's almost like
• 1:59:42
  that's where they just splurge it irresponsibly yeah and and they don't see results from it they can
• 1:59:49
  be proud of me it seems like common sense that you would adopt the same level of scrutiny yeah
• 1:59:54
  common sense is in common so whatever I mean I have a theory about a lot of things but
• 2:00:03
  I would encourage people that if you do have a foundation if you have if you're in a position
• 2:00:14
  to be strategic about your giving that you should think about the ripple effect think about
• 2:00:22
  something that is going to be here forever not just fly by night I think that's fair I guess that
• 2:00:30
  sort of ties into the second part I mentioned mortality and and stoic philosophy which is really
• 2:00:37
  just understanding that at some point you're going to die but it still ties back to the same fundamental
• 2:00:42
  principles you're talking about I mean yes it's important to accomplish the things that you want
• 2:00:48
  to accomplish but if you're doing them for the right reason then I think that'll just add another
• 2:00:52
  layer of motivation onto them look you don't need more money than you need and you don't need more
• 2:00:59
  time here on this earth we didn't even talk about that about needing more money than you need and
• 2:01:04
  to talk about it and it was a conversation actually that came up the other day with somebody's
• 2:01:10
  worth just a little bit shy five five five hundred million dollars and he was saying how he doesn't
• 2:01:15
  understand well why people want to become billionaires and how most of the billionaires that he
• 2:01:22
  knows are all very unhappy people right because the guys worth half a billion and if he wanted to
• 2:01:28
  it's very reasonable and you could make that as goal but he decided not to I decided to because
• 2:01:36
  well I don't want to speak on his behalf okay I love it but from the story that he told me
• 2:01:42
  um he wasn't Israel on October 7 and uh and I can't remember which part of Israel but it was a part
• 2:01:52
  that it did it did normally have rockets flying over and there was like rockets and the iron dome
• 2:01:58
  was exploding the rockets right above this condo and his wife was like this we don't need to be in
• 2:02:05
  this part oh she's like Israel but also let's focus on family and he had his daughter there as well
• 2:02:10
  and they just moved to adventure we just moved to Miami and he said like I moved to Miami and I just
• 2:02:16
  I could have been in a position to get into something that would have made me a billionaire
• 2:02:21
  in about five years and he's like I just made the decision that I don't want to be traveling
• 2:02:25
  anymore it's like he didn't feel safe as a Jew going all over uh the world like he used to
• 2:02:30
  and he doesn't need it and he has family as kids and he's like you know what I just want to be happy
• 2:02:36
  it takes a lot of guts yeah but he also sees all of his billionaire friends
• 2:02:41
  because that's who he works with and they're not happy and he sees a lot of people that are
• 2:02:48
  making sixty seven thousand dollars a year that are exceptionally happy
• 2:02:52
  he's a smart guy puts two and two together right yeah so you know we talk about that thing that you do
• 2:03:00
  so I learned how to be eloquent talk my way into things talk my way out of things and you
• 2:03:08
  you have a similar thing you know the questions the probing questions um and then like I said
• 2:03:14
  other people learn how to be bullied and other people learn how to be comedians other people learn
• 2:03:19
  how to be peacemakers um some people discover that that thing they do plugs in very well to make
• 2:03:27
  him tons and tons of money so the question of how much money is enough is not the real question
• 2:03:34
  because it's not about the money it's not about how much money it's about this is my thing I can't
• 2:03:42
  stop doing my thing so it's a it's a it's a misnomer to even assume that there's an amount
• 2:03:49
  that would it that would constitute success because it's not about success it has the
• 2:03:57
  look of achieving success but it actually is not it's about a compulsion how can I step away
• 2:04:04
  from this what will I be who will I be if I'm not doing this thing and what feelings will I suddenly
• 2:04:13
  start feeling when I'm not distracted from my own feelings by constantly doing this so somebody
• 2:04:21
  is not comfortable with themselves there's no amount of money you could achieve that allows you
• 2:04:28
  to step back it's like you're on that hamster wheel and it's going too fast and you cannot get off
• 2:04:35
  so this goes back to where we started which is we need a sense of self it's greater than just
• 2:04:44
  on here in this life to enhance my life there has to be a self concept it's tied to something
• 2:04:51
  greater than me you've gone through a lot um what would be uh an idea that I didn't ask you
• 2:05:00
  about that's something that you're struggling with right now something that is sort of top of
• 2:05:04
  mind for you that we didn't go into biggest thing I'm dealing with right now I've been dealing with
• 2:05:09
  my whole life but becoming more and more aware how important it is to me and finding out it's
• 2:05:15
  important to others as well is um this whole weird condition of embodiment that the soul existed
• 2:05:27
  long before you were born it will exist after you pass and we're having this
• 2:05:35
  was that we're not human beings having a spiritual experience we are spiritual beings having a
• 2:05:38
  human experience that we're having this embodiment experience and for many of us it is inherently
• 2:05:48
  traumatizing to be a spiritual being confined to a physical container
• 2:05:54
  is for most people it's not deeply disturbing but there are certain sense of souls for whom it is
• 2:06:04
  deeply disturbing I think that some people just don't think about it right or they get so
• 2:06:11
  deeply immersed in distraction that they can avoid it they can hit the can down the road so
• 2:06:21
  to speak so yeah I've been thinking a lot about this about what is the soul in this world in a body
• 2:06:31
  for at all and there's a purpose there's a greater purpose we were not sent to this world to torture us
• 2:06:46
  and but conversely we weren't just sent to this world in order to eat ice cream and have a
• 2:06:50
  good time like that can't be what it's all about we were sent to the world for our purpose greater
• 2:06:57
  than ourselves which is to make the world a better place to make this physical plane the the most
• 2:07:06
  refined the most lofty most holy plane of reality to make the physical world holier than heaven
• 2:07:14
  and we have the ability to have a part in bringing that about and it's all by doing things that
• 2:07:23
  refine the embodiment experience so specifically specifically one of the things that helps to integrate
• 2:07:35
  the soul in the body is showing up in physical places we could have done this through zoom
• 2:07:46
  but we're sitting in the same physical location we lost a lot of that after the COVID lockdown
• 2:07:54
  it's very important to show up to bring your body nowadays it's easy to face time people
• 2:08:01
  um easy to send the text but you're in a body for a reason bring your body get on a plane and show
• 2:08:08
  up to somebody's wedding show up to their birthday party bring your body um meet with people by the
• 2:08:19
  way if people who know me will understand how unnatural this is for me i'm not saying this because
• 2:08:25
  i like to hang out with people i actually find it really really exhausting to hang out with people
• 2:08:33
  i'm extremely introverted and that's why i've had to learn this as one of the big lessons
• 2:08:40
  in this lifetime is bring the body another thing a project that i got involved in most of my success
• 2:08:49
  as a teacher has been virtual virtual platforms online but precisely because of this idea i bought a
• 2:08:57
  property so i didn't have to do i could have gone completely virtual i don't have to be brick and
• 2:09:02
  mortar but i actually bought a property last year which from the middle of construction it's in
• 2:09:09
  Queens, New York and it's going to be it's not a not a large facility small about 1300 square feet
• 2:09:17
  but the point is to have a physical place to get together and to study and to meet and
• 2:09:25
  to have discussions so one of the things the basement is going to be my video production facility
• 2:09:31
  so i'm going to come check it out when i'm a queen you definitely when you come to come to
• 2:09:34
  Queens you'll check it out i'm scanning all your equipment right now and making my wish list
• 2:09:41
  but i got it all written down i'll have a written down excellent okay i'll give it to my AV guy
• 2:09:45
  but physical place is showing up to physical places so so important because
• 2:09:52
  otherwise it's like why is my soul in a body what's the point what's the point of being a soul in a
• 2:09:57
  body so bring your body to places where you can be of service where you can make a contribution
• 2:10:05
  where your presence will be appreciated probably the most important place to bring your body
• 2:10:09
  where your presence will be appreciated as the dinner table with your family okay that's one thing
• 2:10:15
  the other thing same point but the other thing you can do to make good use of your embodiment
• 2:10:23
  is to really understand how spiritually powerful cherry is
• 2:10:30
  um because money is material it i mean even if it's not actual currency or assets even if
• 2:10:40
  just like moving numbers from one computer to another but of it procures material resources
• 2:10:48
  you earn it through exertion of your body even if you're not a manual laborer but there's
• 2:10:55
  certain you're burning calories while you're working right so when you take that and you turn it
• 2:11:02
  into charity you're converting it from material to spiritual so to speak and you're making good use
• 2:11:10
  of your embodiment the souls in heaven can't give charity so souls and bodies can give charity
• 2:11:16
  also another thing and we mentioned my money is an interesting the eight levels of giving
• 2:11:23
  another thing my money says which is the importance of repeated acts of charity and what that
• 2:11:30
  means is a lot of people don't know this if you can give in one lump sum or you can give an
• 2:11:37
  installment it's actually better to give an installment now yeah it's a counter intuitive obviously
• 2:11:42
  if the recipient needs it now if it's like an urgent matter so you better to give it all
• 2:11:48
  once but i'm saying let's say somebody let's say somebody's making ten million a year they're
• 2:11:55
  giving away a million a year as uh there a tithe is ten percent so it would actually be better instead
• 2:12:03
  of one lump sum a year to ritualize it to make it a regimen and have as part of your day every day
• 2:12:13
  to have to click even if it's a click but it's a physical movement like like physical exercise
• 2:12:20
  and have to let it with the million divided by three inches to five not whatever it's thirty three
• 2:12:25
  thousand dollars and i was like what it is in every day have to you know click and wire that
• 2:12:31
  thirty three thousand a day um problem while it's thirty thousand um the repeated act
• 2:12:42
  the physicalized expression of it
• 2:12:46
  integrates the soul with the body gives peace to the soul within the body
• 2:12:52
  so these things really they will clear up a lot of the existential angst that maybe running
• 2:13:06
  in the background that we don't even realize we're feeling but when you're using your body
• 2:13:13
  repeatedly and um regularly for a spiritual purpose it's very healing
• 2:13:23
  this is time i related but you know in the past three years therapy has shifted a lot from like
• 2:13:29
  talk therapy to more somatic therapy or realize not everything is in the world of abstraction and
• 2:13:36
  the world of ideas some things are you know that like they say your issues are in your tissues right
• 2:13:41
  a lot of it is physical so a lot of our spiritual healing is is through physical
• 2:13:49
  behavior physical actions physically showing up physical allotment of physical material resources
• 2:13:58
  i felt this i felt i've spoken with this i've never articulated it the way that you just have
• 2:14:04
  and i don't have an expertise in charity so i would never even comment on that but i felt
• 2:14:08
  in terms of relationship building after covid it just felt like relationships were not as real as they
• 2:14:15
  were before and i couldn't put a finger on it outside of the fact that we just don't shake hands
• 2:14:21
  and just don't sit down with each other anymore that's really it because we're not brains and jars
• 2:14:25
  on a shelf but people are trying to operate like they are and and we're suffering for it i feel
• 2:14:31
  we didn't even talk about loneliness but that's another epidemic that i think people are
• 2:14:36
  so all into twine yeah and now we have zoom everything and we felt fatigue done zoom for a variety
• 2:14:44
  of reasons and then because we felt the fatigue done zoom then we defaulted to email and text
• 2:14:49
  and slack and we stopped even seeing each other now we're trying to do deals just via text or or
• 2:14:58
  build relationships be a text and i think people are lonely i want to make sure everyone knows by
• 2:15:04
  the way in case they think i'm a social butterfly and that's why i'm like telling everybody to get
• 2:15:09
  together in actual meat space i want you to know i said it up before i'll say it again i'm painfully
• 2:15:15
  introverted i get drained by being in in in a location with many people like just the energy of
• 2:15:25
  bodies in a room exhausts me so i don't gravitate toward this naturally at all but i've come to
• 2:15:33
  realize increasingly how essential it is to our spiritual health and then it trickles down to our
• 2:15:41
  all our other levels of health so it's not like i'm the guy loves to go physically show up places but
• 2:15:47
  we have to have if your soul's in a body you got to bring a body otherwise like what did you come
• 2:15:53
  down here for i think that if people actually take this take this insight to heart and spend
• 2:16:00
  not again we're not talking about again social butterfly going to a party i mean sometimes it's
• 2:16:05
  necessary or going to a networking event but if it's possible to sit down and have a conversation
• 2:16:12
  or if you're in the same city as opposed to you know picking up a phone go for coffee
• 2:16:18
  it's it's without understanding the spiritual component is very therapeutic it's very therapeutic and
• 2:16:24
  it builds real relationships i've never been able to build a relationship virtually and i've
• 2:16:30
  hired a lot of people i can never build a relationship a true relationship that has
• 2:16:36
  been something outside of just a transaction and even then it's a it's an awkward experience
• 2:16:41
  tell you that the people that i know who have been most successful in relationships
• 2:16:52
  meaning they know the most amount of people in our substantial way where their relationships
• 2:16:59
  actually well to me one of the biggest metrics for determining the successful relationship is
• 2:17:05
  how many other people are benefited by that relationship so i'm thinking about people i know who
• 2:17:10
  for instance network with a lot of people to cause a lot of good to happen in the world which ends
• 2:17:16
  up benefiting tons of people all all of the top three four people i'm thinking of in my mind right now
• 2:17:24
  are incredibly good at showing up at places that means someone has a life cycle event
• 2:17:32
  get out of plane to go to show up at somebody's birthday party for an hour and get out of
• 2:17:39
  plane and go right back home it it seems silly why should we need that send them a text
• 2:17:48
  there's something about the physical presence it is so beyond what we fathom so much
• 2:17:56
  more powerful than what we can even imagine you mentioned that you were looking into this because
• 2:18:04
  people are are stressed for lack of a better word about being the souls in bodies
• 2:18:13
  why do people get stressed about this well i think the better question is why why wouldn't someone
• 2:18:18
  get stressed about it like it's not normal for a soul to be in a body it's it's a weird condition
• 2:18:26
  but the reality is most people aren't stressed by it most people don't even think about it and
• 2:18:32
  you know they have their life and they go through life and everything's fine then there are the
• 2:18:36
  hypersensitive individuals you mentioned you mentioned neurodivergent minds so
• 2:18:44
  the different labels that are in fashion to use for it i'm not particularly
• 2:18:49
  married to any of these terms because i don't speak a lot from a clinical perspective anyway
• 2:18:54
  but there are certain sensitive individuals who are awake to the fact that it's weird to be in a body
• 2:19:03
  and these people tend to be prone to addiction because they have this constant existential
• 2:19:10
  discomfort which needs to be dealt with somehow or these are people who are
• 2:19:18
  often very intense with they get involved in behaviors or in enterprises that where they just
• 2:19:28
  completely immerse themselves beyond any healthy point where it's really clearly just self-numbing
• 2:19:36
  and a lot of these people are what society deems to be successful so that it's very much reinforced
• 2:19:44
  you're being cheered on for essentially indulging your addiction
• 2:19:51
  and i think for a lot of these people it's necessary to get to a quiet place and to just examine
• 2:20:01
  like who am i what am i how uncomfortable am i without any of these trappings without
• 2:20:09
  the brand the name the the business the the bank account the identity that i built around me
• 2:20:16
  like who am i when i you know my soul who is my soul and what did this soul come to this world to
• 2:20:23
  accomplish and these these these questions or questions that are important for everyone to ask
• 2:20:30
  but i think there are certain types of people highly sensitive people who are forced to ask it
• 2:20:36
  is there is there if somebody's listening to this and has never thought about this concept for the
• 2:20:41
  first time i don't want to introduce a concept and not leave them with some sort of comfort or
• 2:20:46
  some sort of solace or some or some insight i don't even know the right question to ask
• 2:20:53
  but if somebody is just wrestling with this concept for the first time having this
• 2:20:57
  crisis for example what would be something you'd like to leave them with first of all you're okay
• 2:21:09
  the fact that you're here in this body in this lifetime under these conditions
• 2:21:15
  was not meant to torture you a loving and all-knowing god put you exactly where you are needed
• 2:21:25
  and life may never be comfortable i think that's one of the lies that we try to sell
• 2:21:32
  so like life can be comfortable mate and some for some of us know life will never be comfortable
• 2:21:37
  but it can be profoundly meaningful and the way to find that meaning is so simple do not go
• 2:21:46
  searching the meaning of your life is not on the other side of the world open your eyes
• 2:21:54
  look at who you are now and the gifts that you've been given and the resources and the
• 2:22:02
  opportunities that you have in your life now and ask yourself how to best use that for the good
• 2:22:13
  of others how to maximize using that to benefit people other than yourself that's your meaning
• 2:22:22
  that's your meaning you know i love it where can people connect with you if they want to learn more
• 2:22:28
  about your work what you do it's anything else that you that you have focused on that you want to
• 2:22:35
  just tell people to go check out personally i mean i think god i do pretty well on social media but to
• 2:22:43
  me that's appetizers that's finger food the serious content is the long-form content so i would say
• 2:22:50
  check me out on youtube and find the long lectures the hour hour and a half to our lectures and
• 2:22:58
  if you're relating to the stuff that i'm talking about go take a longer journey with me where i can
• 2:23:05
  actually develop a concept i mean here who were able to develop many concepts because i felt
• 2:23:11
  very much that we're just being present here and there's no agenda which is great i appreciate
• 2:23:18
  that was really good i enjoyed that a lot i really enjoyed that a lot at the end of the day i think
• 2:23:22
  that maybe there is a selfish component as well i just like to learn and the things that i find
• 2:23:28
  interesting i think the useful and how it definitely could be beneficial to you and i but i think
• 2:23:33
  it's also beneficial the others which is you know that's why the cameras are running because we
• 2:23:39
  consider here without the cameras but i think there is an intention all of us have that maybe
• 2:23:45
  something we've experienced or an experience that we've had insight from may make somebody else's
• 2:23:52
  life a little better like i love it part of your story is that you didn't have to have a crisis
• 2:23:58
  that you learned for other people's crises so i love that concept of people being able to learn
• 2:24:05
  from somebody else's experience that's the reason why i built this podcast yeah it seems like it
• 2:24:10
  life's always gonna be a struggle but instead of struggling at a lower level like learn what
• 2:24:15
  you can learn from what other people already learned and then struggle on a higher level like that's
• 2:24:20
  always gonna be a struggle there will always be something but i agree i think that i think that most
• 2:24:26
  people could dig themselves out of whatever extremely stressful environment they're in right now
• 2:24:31
  and live a relatively good life and i mean you can define good by different terms i'm not talking
• 2:24:36
  about everybody making a hundred million or a billion dollars i'm saying you can live a
• 2:24:41
  less worrisome slightly less struggle life and i think that's really difficult it doesn't take much
• 2:24:51
  it doesn't take much to be comfortable doesn't take much to support your family doesn't take much
• 2:24:55
  to not stress about rent or mortgage payment or putting food on the table isn't very well aware
• 2:25:00
  that those are things that people deal with um the last question i like to ask you always you always
• 2:25:06
  look like you're about to say something else i never want to interrupt you and mind is always
• 2:25:11
  racing like yeah but full change of subject and another thought another thought will come in
• 2:25:19
  so i'm not too worried about no no well you have to get up you have to get up to
• 2:25:24
  uh department so one day in the future about a willing we'll do another that'll be great
• 2:25:31
  last question i always like to ask and i used to ask uh i used to ask what would you tell
• 2:25:36
  you like a lesson you tell your younger self but then i actually stopped asking and the reason
• 2:25:42
  why i stopped asking is because i think some people understood that they were actually quite happy
• 2:25:47
  with how their life turned out and they realized that all the the hills and valleys and and the
• 2:25:53
  rollercoaster ride has led them to where they're at now so they didn't want to tell their younger
• 2:25:56
  self anything at all which is an interesting i i was an interesting uh retort to that question
• 2:26:01
  so i changed it and i i want to ask will be a lesson that you want to leave your children with
• 2:26:06
  so they will go down a different path yeah well i hope that my answer to this question is not only
• 2:26:12
  what i want to leave my children with i hope this is what they're getting from me i guess
• 2:26:19
  you call them and ask i've been see if this is what they got from me i want them to know
• 2:26:27
  that it's a privilege to be here in this world
• 2:26:33
  you ever heard of helm no i don't know this i think it's a town in Poland but it's famous because
• 2:26:39
  there's a whole genre of Jewish jokes and Jewish stories about the people of helm yeah it's
• 2:26:46
  basically there were a town of simpletons who thought that they were intellectuals so there's a lot
• 2:26:53
  of jokes about their uh sophistry so there's an old helm joke about one guy one helmet says to the
• 2:27:01
  other he says you know based on how difficult life is sometimes i think it would have been better
• 2:27:09
  never have never had to have been born and the other guy says the other helmet says to the first
• 2:27:15
  one says yeah true but how many guys do you know were actually that lucky one out of a hundred
• 2:27:22
  good but you got to joke most people don't get to joke how many guys do you know who were never born
• 2:27:28
  right yeah i don't know any guy i don't know anyone is never born okay so
• 2:27:34
  so you were sent to send nerdy joke hey so nerdy so you were sent to this world not to be tortured
• 2:27:44
  and also not to seek pleasure you were sent to this world because something was required
• 2:27:55
  it only you could you could contribute that's what life is about
• 2:28:04
  it's about serving that purpose here in our bodies in this world