Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How Narcissists Act When They Have No Money or Anything To Offer
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:03Today we're talking about when narcissists have no job or
- 0:07narcissists have no money or nothing to really offer you the
- 0:12bum narcissist. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:16Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:18And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:39I'm back. Boom yes y'all the bum broke
- 0:44narcissistic person. Before we hop deep into today's
- 0:48episode, y'all, if you don't know, check out my website
- 0:51mentalillness.net for coaching courses, one on ones, my support
- 0:57group. Everything is available at
- 0:59mental illness dot net yes, but yeah, y'all narcissistic people,
- 1:05the toxicity, the brokenness, the nothing, nothing to offer
- 1:10you narcissist. Those do exist, right?
- 1:13I know we hear a lot about narcissist with money, right?
- 1:16There are a lot of narcissists who have access to money and
- 1:18power and things like that. Actually today wrote on threads
- 1:23that money is not the root of all evil.
- 1:25It's actually power and I'm going to do another video on
- 1:27that. But power, the pursuit of power
- 1:30makes people evil or just makes people cave and change their
- 1:33beliefs and change their power dynamic and their power
- 1:36structures and whatnot, right? But this is what happens.
- 1:39This is what happens to narcissistic people.
- 1:41This is how narcissists, you know, handle themselves what
- 1:44they do like they pursue power. So even the narcissist that
- 1:49doesn't have anything to offer you can still be on a pursuit of
- 1:54power. And I know that doesn't make a
- 1:55lot of sense to people, but just because I lack money doesn't
- 1:59mean I lack the ambition or the pursuit of power.
- 2:02It doesn't mean that I don't have delusions of grandeur and
- 2:07fulfillment and things like that.
- 2:09Oh, I could absolutely be a broke bastard and still want the
- 2:12best things in the world, right? And this is what happens.
- 2:16But Lee, Lee, I'm lost. I'm lost.
- 2:20Where's the line? Shout out to A Bug's Life.
- 2:26How? But Lee, I'm lost.
- 2:28How the hell there's a narcissist with nothing to offer
- 2:31you, control you. How do they how do they pursue
- 2:34power with no, with no Skriller, with no money?
- 2:38Tell me, Lee. Tell me now.
- 2:40OK, OK, I'm calm down. Come down.
- 2:44I'm right here. I'm here with you, but
- 2:47seriously, a lot of times those, that type of person right there,
- 2:50y'all will weaponize what they have.
- 2:53They use what they have you. I, I think that everybody can
- 2:55agree with this that narcissists are resourceful.
- 2:58Money or not, they are resourceful and they will find
- 3:01ways to control you. One way that they control you,
- 3:04one way that they mess with you is they weaponize your own
- 3:06empathy against you. Like if you consider yourself an
- 3:10empath or highly sensitive person or carrying person,
- 3:14carrying person, compassionate person, if you just have it in
- 3:18you to be a good human being, they will weaponize that against
- 3:21you. They absolutely will.
- 3:23This is one of the things that happens to so many people.
- 3:25They absolutely will weaponize your own empathy against you.
- 3:30They'll make you feel bad about not wanting to take care of
- 3:33them, not wanting to be there for them.
- 3:34If that's especially if this is your partner, your spouse,
- 3:38right? Y'all living together and you
- 3:40keep egging on them about getting a job and they'll just
- 3:44like I'm trying to get a job. You think I'll you think I like
- 3:47living off of you. You think I've like being
- 3:50unemployed for the last 14 years, living off of you have
- 3:54you pay the bills while I sit my ass in here and play video games
- 3:58or just fart and sting up the house.
- 4:00You think I like that? And this is not a that, but Lee,
- 4:06I haven't worked in 14 years, but I'm a stay at home parent.
- 4:08That's different. You're contributing.
- 4:11This is for the non contributors.
- 4:12This is for the people that only contribute their body, their
- 4:16presence, like nothing else. Don't help with the kids, don't
- 4:19help with the house. Don't they just exist?
- 4:21They are just there. This is just your husband or
- 4:24just your wife or just your boyfriend or girlfriend, whoever
- 4:26it is is. This could be your adult child,
- 4:29right? This could be your parent,
- 4:31right? It doesn't have to be like I
- 4:32said, this could be your friend, the family member, whoever this
- 4:34is right in this, in this space, like it doesn't have to be like
- 4:37this is not a a stab at stay at home parents because you
- 4:40absolutely contribute a lot. You might not have the money,
- 4:43but you absolutely do a lot of stuff.
- 4:46Hell no. This is not me trying to say
- 4:47that. Shout out to the stay at home
- 4:48parents, stay at home moms, dads, people, whatnot.
- 4:51Y'all yay you a champ. This is not towards y'all.
- 4:55This is for the ones who don't contribute.
- 4:56This is for the ones who are not trying to work, who don't try to
- 5:00do anything around the house. This is for the broke bum ass
- 5:02narcissist. It's not for you, not the good
- 5:04people, it's for the ones that are trying to hurt you,
- 5:07intentionally, trying to take advantage of you.
- 5:09Because that's what narcissistic people do.
- 5:10They take advantage of you, they see how nice you are and they
- 5:13make you feel bad for not wanting to work two jobs and
- 5:16take care of the house and the kids while I sit my lazy,
- 5:19stinking ass down here, pretend to be on indeed.com and apply
- 5:24for CEOCEO positions with a GED. We're not even a GEDI dropped
- 5:29out until I dropped out in 10th and a half grade, like like 10th
- 5:33and a half grade. Look, what the hell does that
- 5:34mean? Like I was, I was a sophomore.
- 5:36I took, we went on Christmas break and I just never went
- 5:38back. Hey, that's what happened.
- 5:42That's my story. I'm sticking to it, right?
- 5:44But that's how they go. They weaponize your empathy
- 5:46against you. They make you feel bad for not
- 5:48wanting to take care of the adult asses.
- 5:50Well, you going to make me get a job?
- 5:52Wow, You making me feel really bad about myself right now,
- 5:55Right. You making me feel really,
- 5:57really bad about myself. Who care?
- 6:00I have. Yeah.
- 6:00I haven't worked since our kids were born.
- 6:03Yeah. I've never went to a doctor's
- 6:04appointment. Yeah.
- 6:05I've never changed the diaper. Yeah.
- 6:06I've never made dinner yet. Never cleaned up.
- 6:08Yeah, I never worked. But So what?
- 6:10I'm here, aren't I? They sitting there.
- 6:14They've been sitting on the couch so long, they all they
- 6:15got, they butt imprints on the couch.
- 6:17That's how long they've been sitting there.
- 6:18Not doing anything, not contributing.
- 6:19They that's not when they've been there, not contributing,
- 6:22sitting there stinking asses in your house.
- 6:24Just yeah, it would be. And you understand that you get
- 6:26to this space with like that would be easy for me to just be
- 6:27by my be by my damn self, wouldn't it?
- 6:30That's how it goes. That's one way that they would
- 6:31control you. They use your own empathy
- 6:33against you. Guess what another way is y'all?
- 6:35They use their body. They only offer you their body.
- 6:40When you start complaining about how they're not contributing and
- 6:42how they have no money, how they you might even call them a bum.
- 6:46Guess what happens? I'm a bum.
- 6:50You weren't calling me. You weren't calling me a bum
- 6:53last night when I was clapping them cheeks.
- 6:55You're calling me daddy, wasn't you?
- 6:57Weren't you on the bum then? I'm not going to be a bum right
- 7:00now. I'm a bum now.
- 7:01I'm a bum now. You see what I'm saying?
- 7:04I'm sorry. Yeah, but this is what I'm
- 7:11sorry. But y'all know that's how it is.
- 7:13They are. They use their body as a damn
- 7:15near as a currency right in your household like this is not.
- 7:20Again, I can feel like he had to preface this.
- 7:22This is not against the the SMEC's workers out there, right?
- 7:25This is not against y'all. This is against the people who
- 7:27are in the house not doing anything, not contributing, just
- 7:30existing and manipulating people in the house.
- 7:32And this is how they do it again, they pray on your
- 7:34empathy, but they also use their bodies to control you.
- 7:37They weaponize their speciality. They weaponize the bedroom, they
- 7:41weaponize their bodies, they weaponize affection.
- 7:43They, they, they, they over, they, they, you know, they give
- 7:46you a lot and they take it away. They're refusing to, they're
- 7:51refusing to be with you. They're refusing to sleep with
- 7:53you. They refuse.
- 7:54Or they just do it here and there.
- 7:55You know what I'm saying? They do it a lot to control you,
- 7:58to weaponize their bodies against you.
- 7:59And you just get so smitten with them cheeks.
- 8:01You like, oh, goodness, I don't know where I'm coming and going.
- 8:06Goodness. I'm just wait, wait.
- 8:08They haven't helped around the house in forever.
- 8:10They haven't contributed. They haven't worked in forever.
- 8:13Let me snap out of this. This, this, this, this hip.
- 8:16I'm I'm hypnotized by the by the the cheek clapping.
- 8:19Let me snap out of it. You see what I'm saying?
- 8:21They will absolutely use their bodies to try to control you, to
- 8:24try to weaponize you as a form of currency within the house.
- 8:27You weren't seeing it last night, was you?
- 8:29When I was when I had my leg to the ceiling like a cheerleader,
- 8:33like I was on like I was in, like I was a professional
- 8:36dancer, had my leg up here. I held my leg, you know, I held
- 8:38my leg back here like this and I still was able to tiptoe toward
- 8:42you. I still hopped toward you like
- 8:43that. You see what I'm saying?
- 8:46But this is what they do. They will use their bodies
- 8:48against you. They will weaponize their bodies
- 8:49against you. This is what narcissistic people
- 8:51do, right? This is part of it.
- 8:52This is part of like the paradigm of toxic relationship
- 8:55dynamics, isn't it? Like this is where it go.
- 8:58This is how they do. This is, you know, this is what
- 9:02goes on right here. But I also say this about
- 9:06narcissistic people another way that they absolutely will
- 9:09control you. Like I said, Hey, not not not
- 9:11control you, but they don't always come into the
- 9:14relationships as bums, right? Sometimes they do.
- 9:16Sometimes they come into the relationship as as a bum.
- 9:19You you know it like not they're not bums at the moment.
- 9:22They might have actually fallen on hard times, right?
- 9:25They might actually be in between houses.
- 9:27They might actually have just gotten evicted and y'all, they
- 9:31come to your house and they just like they don't they they end up
- 9:33never leaving, right? They spend the night at your
- 9:35house the one night and they just end up never leaving.
- 9:37Like when you going home, I thought I was already at home
- 9:43and decide to get you. Right.
- 9:44They take advantage of you. Then they just refuse to leave.
- 9:46And you again, your empathy is so high that you don't kick them
- 9:49out. You're you're or you could be.
- 9:51Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't.
- 9:52You don't want to fall into the space where you you're just a
- 9:55gullible person. And they just take advantage of
- 9:56you being you being gullible. Or you've been afraid to say no,
- 9:59or you've been afraid to set a boundary.
- 10:01You know what I'm saying? Because that's when they really
- 10:02get you. Because if you're afraid to set
- 10:03boundaries and say no, they'll just run on top of you forever.
- 10:06They'll just keep using and using, using and abusing you
- 10:08forever until until you put a stop to it or somebody else just
- 10:12forces it, forces it to end, right.
- 10:14That's also a possibility as well.
- 10:16So they, like I said, they don't always come into the
- 10:18relationship as a bomb at without having anything.
- 10:22Sometimes they might actually be independently successful.
- 10:25They might have a job, a car or a house or whatever the
- 10:28situation may be. They might have that when y'all
- 10:30first get together and then they lose it.
- 10:33Like something happens, something occurs and then they
- 10:35lose access to their job, they lose access to their cars or
- 10:38whatever, they get fired and they just never go back.
- 10:42Like they do fall on hard times while y'all all together and
- 10:46they just never stand back up for those hard times, right?
- 10:50They fall down and they just, they fall down.
- 10:54They never try to get back up. They take advantage of you,
- 10:57right, That y'all move in together, right?
- 11:00This is how they would do it as well.
- 11:01Y'all will move in together or they'll they'll look, they'll
- 11:04move in with you. Y'all, let's say y'all are kind
- 11:06of like semi long distance or you might be long distance.
- 11:09They'll move in with you, quit their job, move in with you and
- 11:13then refute. They didn't just don't get a job
- 11:15then they just don't or they have a job.
- 11:17They just don't pay bills. That'll help you out at all and
- 11:19they'll tell you straight up just like look, you were paying
- 11:21all your bills. You were paying all your bills
- 11:26before I got here. What's the big deal now, right?
- 11:31You were paying everything before I got here.
- 11:34Why does that need to change right now?
- 11:35What changes? Because I live here.
- 11:37If I wasn't, If I wasn't here, how would you pay your bills?
- 11:41You're already paying the bills. So why do I need to be here for
- 11:43you to pay your bills right now? You see how that meant?
- 11:46You see that mentality right there?
- 11:47That's the mentality that a lot of narcissistic people will have
- 11:50a lot of like like a lot of the bum ish.
- 11:52They're not always going to be bums, but bum ish narcissists
- 11:55will have. They will just put it on to you
- 11:57that she's keep taking care of your own lifestyle because you
- 12:00were doing it initially, right? You were doing it initially and
- 12:04they just take advantage of you and it.
- 12:06And this goes for most narcissists with money.
- 12:08They'll try to treat your money like it's theirs and they just
- 12:11refuse to work again. They will refuse to try to
- 12:13contribute. They refuse to take care of
- 12:15anything and everything around the house.
- 12:17This is not the same as a willful of person who's staying
- 12:20at home willfully to take care of the house or to take care of
- 12:23the children. This is not the same.
- 12:24So please don't think I'm dissing y'all.
- 12:27My wife is a stay at home mom. She's a will.
- 12:29She's willingly a stay at home parent.
- 12:32So I'm not taking shots to somebody that I, that I love.
- 12:35You see what I'm saying? Why would I do that?
- 12:36That's crazy. So I'm not taking shots to a
- 12:38child. It's a child.
- 12:38They do the exact same thing that she does.
- 12:40You know what I mean? It's a tough, it's hard as hell
- 12:42to do that. You know, your sacrifice is
- 12:44appreciated for me at least. You mean that your partner might
- 12:46not do it, but I appreciate it. You know, I know it's, I know
- 12:49it's tough to give up, you know, to give up your life and your
- 12:51lifestyle and your freedom and all these other stuff.
- 12:53I get it. I truly get it, Trust me.
- 12:56But that is the mindset of narcissists, right?
- 12:59They want to make you feel bad about them taking care of they,
- 13:03they, they're trying to take, take advantage of your money
- 13:06like it's their own. They treat you like you or their
- 13:08personal Piggy Bank. This is what they do, you know,
- 13:12they'll just start taking your money, treating your money like
- 13:15it's y'all's money. And if they do have money, you
- 13:18know what I mean? Their money is their money.
- 13:20Your money is our money and they just keep running, running and
- 13:24they're like that right and that's they they take advantage
- 13:26of the situation. Y'all like not all narcissists
- 13:29who like when I say not they when they don't have money, it
- 13:32doesn't mean that they're actually they absolutely have
- 13:33absolute 0. Some of them have money.
- 13:36They're just act broke. They just act like they're they
- 13:38just don't contribute. They don't help out at all.
- 13:40They're just bodies. They're they just, they just
- 13:43offer their presence in the house as opposed to anything of
- 13:46substance. Like their body is there.
- 13:48They'll do it with you. They might pick up stuff every
- 13:50once in a while. Like it's, it's crazy when you
- 13:52have a stay at home parent or stay at home somebody just
- 13:54taking care of the house and they don't do anything around
- 13:57the house. You know, it's a surprise when
- 13:59they cleaned up. You're like, hey, I cleaned up
- 14:01like damn, MO. OK, thanks.
- 14:07You're not happy that I cleaned up today.
- 14:10Well, yeah, I'm. I'm happy.
- 14:12I just wish it would happen more often.
- 14:13Wow, wow, wow. You know what I do all day?
- 14:20The kids are in school. You don't work.
- 14:24What do you do all day? You know what I'm saying?
- 14:27Flame on. We don't have kids.
- 14:33So what do you do all day? That's what I said.
- 14:39Again, this is not a shot towards stay at home parents.
- 14:42The ones that are actually contributing and putting in
- 14:44their work. You know because some stay at
- 14:46home parents aren't. There's some narcissistic people
- 14:49that are stay at home parents as well.
- 14:50Let's just say that you know some of y'all are stay at home
- 14:52parents and just horrible people.
- 14:54Again, if it don't apply, let it fly.
- 14:58Only call me a horrible person. No I didn't.
- 14:59If it don't apply, let it fly. Anyway y'all thank you so much
- 15:04for tuning into this episode. Y'all hit that subscribe button.
- 15:06You haven't already? My website is scrolling across
- 15:09the bottom of the screen. Subscribe subscribe subscribe.
- 15:11I'm begging you please. What I got to do anyways?
- 15:16Y'all been to hear this is out peace.
- 15:19Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 15:21I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
- 15:24If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 15:26to the channel, help us reach more people and click on the
- 15:28screen to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
- 15:31There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 15:33and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 15:36you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 15:37I will see you in the next video.
- 15:39Peace.