Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 73 - Understanding and forgiveness

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Season 3 - Episode 73 - Understanding and forgiveness · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about understanding and forgiveness.
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  Now if you're a human and you're in a relationship with anything,
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  whether human, animal doesn't matter.
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  If you have relationships, you have connections with other
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  beings of any kind, you are bound to be in a position where
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  you are understanding that you need to be looking for
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  forgiveness. Whether you're giving it or
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  you're receiving it doesn't matter.
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  We need to be looking for it because we all have to provide
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  that to people and we all have to receive that from people.
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  Forgiveness is a major portion of being a human and
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  understanding. You have to deliver it as much
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  as you want to receive it. Also understanding their
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  positions and understanding your own positions, they kind of go
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  hand in hand understanding and forgiveness, which is why we're
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  grouping them together in this call today.
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  Now in relationships, nothing is harder than stepping into a
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  place of understanding first and foremost.
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  Before you can forgive, you have to understand, and for me, this
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  is one of the hardest things. Personally, sometimes I'm just
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  like, I don't understand how we have to have this conversation
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  over and over and over again. We we've had it.
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  Why does something keep coming up?
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  And I get very intense about if we've had the conversation, why
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  do we need to keep having the conversation?
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  It should just be we've both cleared the air, whether it's
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  with my one of my kids or it's with my husband or any one of my
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  friends. It's a it's a a thing that I
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  struggle with personally because I know we've had the
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  conversation, so why do we need to keep having it again?
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  I'll take the information on and nine times out of 10 I can
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  understand their position. I make a shift and I want to
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  move on. Doesn't mean I don't want to
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  slip, but I really do work at that.
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  Now here's where it gets tricky. If I have to understand that
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  I've had the conversation multiple times, let's say with
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  my son about doing something and he just keeps repeating the
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  pattern and I am getting more and more aggravated and less and
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  less forgiving, then I'm getting angry and I'm showing up a
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  certain way and that is not going to help the situation.
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  I have to look at this and understand it from a different
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  point of view and say, well, maybe I'm not communicating in a
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  way that he's understanding it. Maybe me just talking and him
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  saying yes doesn't mean he's actually getting it.
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  And I know that sounds insane, but it's really true.
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  Because sometimes we can hear the same things over and over
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  and over again and we say like we know something, but it
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  doesn't mean we're actually doing something.
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  And recognizing this as a pattern in human beings in
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  general is a really big deal because we run on autopilot, we
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  run on future pacing, People will say anything and then they
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  revert right back to an old behaviour.
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  And people will often ask me why?
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  Why do people revert back to an old behaviour?
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  Well, if we pause and we really look at it, it's because it's a
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  pattern. It's because they've done it
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  before, because they've gotten the results that they wanted in
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  some way, shape or form. Even if we don't understand why
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  anyone would run a result like that, they get it.
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  And this all comes back to us and the big scope of things
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  saying, ah, wait, this is part of my being able to understand
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  what's happening, Where are they coming from?
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  What is the real, you know, scope of this?
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  Understanding is a is a gift that we give ourselves and we
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  give to others. If you can practice attempting
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  to understand, you're giving yourself the gift of relieving
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  the stress of staying in the state.
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  Like, I don't get it. I don't get it.
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  I don't get it because no matter how many times we say the words,
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  I don't get it. It's not going to change it and
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  it's not going to force the other person to do it.
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  No matter how many times I say to my son, you know, come on,
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  like, this is ridiculous. I we've talked about this.
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  What's going on? It doesn't matter because he's
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  he is still doesn't matter that I don't get it.
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  It matters that he's still not at that place.
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  So I have to change my approach. Now, someone might say I don't,
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  why should I have to change my approach?
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  Maybe they should change their approach.
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  And that's very true. But if you're not getting the
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  results you want and you still want to get the results you
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  want, then you have to recognize you possibly have to change your
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  approach. But that's just how life works.
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  And that's where you have to step into the role of
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  forgiveness and say, I forgive them for not getting it so
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  quickly. I forgive them for me having to
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  keep repeating myself about this because they're just not
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  comprehending it for some reason.
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  And that's when you can start to create these shifts, that's when
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  you can start to create something that provides you with
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  a bigger just for yourself, a bigger scope in your own world
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  of influence. Because when you do this and you
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  take it on my my using, my superpower of curiosity, I'm
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  just like, OK, I have to change my approach.
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  I do it with clients all the time.
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  If they don't get it, I say, well, I got to change my
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  approach. I must be doing something that
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  may be off. And if I get to a point where I
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  feel like, hey, listen, I just can't do this anymore, I've
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  tried everything, every tool in my bag, which is rare, and I
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  just forgive myself for not getting it.
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  And then I say, you know what? I'm going to choose to move on.
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  They can find another coach, they can do something different.
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  We can try to get them the different help in a different
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  way, but I am in a state of understanding and forgiveness
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  and that's what's so important. So hopefully this makes sense.
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  Hopefully you guys will get it. Practice it, understanding and
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  forgiveness. Give it a try.
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  All right? My friends, I hope you have a
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  blessed day and I will see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.