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The Jesse Ventura They Don't Want You To See Pt. 6: Worldwide Water Conspiracy · Conspiracy! The Show

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Win t inruan spit.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I true, I'm a check and set your fans.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Wait the adults, Hey, everybody check your pets for tics.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: It's time for conspiracy the show. I'm Adam Todd Brown.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: I'm Olivia Hidar.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: I did it up top this time?
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's our sign off.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: This episode is over. Thank you everyone. Wow?
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: Okay, and yeah you can follow me on Twitter at
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: high there hid.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Anything plug before we get out here, Olivia, how's it going?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: You know it's going good. It's going good. Can't complain,
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: got family in town, it's it's it's going going great.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: I'm sure recording this before that happens, but it will
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: be coming out while it's happening.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: That's always fun. I mean it's not. But no, my
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: early my family never comes to town because I'm in La,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and who fucking comes to La to there's people like
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: that's only the people who like have rich families who
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: moved out here like then they can like my family
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: can't afford that shit, right. Uh, we're talking about another
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: episode of the Jesse Ventura. They don't want you to see.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: These are the ones that have been banned from air.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Adam Ah, why weren't we spicing up the JFK episode
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: with some sound effects.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I just got this mixer. I forgot I even had
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: this new soundboard in the last episode.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: Oh that's great.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the sound of us breaching the facility
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: that was holding these episodes stormed Daily Motion. Oh my god.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: And now we have access to season two of Conspiracy Theory.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: With Jesse repelled down. Like Ethan Hunt and Mission Impossible,
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: it dove into the servers of Daily Emotion and plucked
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: this from the from there.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: This is a good episode. This is season two, episode six.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: This is one of those episodes that happens, you know,
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: every every every like three or four that where they
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: don't like actually get to They can't because of whatever
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: entrenched worldviews that the people, including Jesse Venturer who write
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: the show have. They can't talk about the actual cause
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: of this problem. But they are talking about real problems
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: that are caused by conspiracy. It's just that, yeah, you know,
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: it opens like not to skip ahead. But one of
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: the first things that just even dress is that this
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: isn't just that. This this isn't capitalism, this is uh,
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: this is something else entirely. I can't remember the exact
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: quote and like, no, buddy, this is one hundred capitalism.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: It's hardcore capitalism, that's all this is. Yeah, it's uh.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: And that's one of like rich rich people and corporations
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: hoarding resources for their own personal gain and wealth yep,
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: I buy it. I already buy it.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, already using using shortcuts and deregulation to pass off
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: like unhealthy product to people in order to make a buck.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: Uh yeah, I think I can get on board with that.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. One of the first people he talks to is
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: a an activist named Lee Sprague who he talks to
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: him at Lake Mead in Arizona, and uh, once again,
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: you you roll a native person out in front of
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: me and them look me in the eyes and say, hey,
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: these rich white people are taking our shit. I am
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: not going to be inclined to be like, okay, yeah.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: So this guy seemed chill. I actually I really like
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: this guy, Lee Sprague, and like, and you know you're desperate.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: If you look Jesse Ventura in the eyes and go
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: we need your help on this one, it's like, God, really,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: stuff hit rock bottom? Huh.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Imagine how the tides could have been turned if Jesse
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Ventura was at the Keystone Excel pipeline. Like God, that
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: could have that could have saved so much.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Water weighed everything. Yeah, so, uh, it seems like privatization
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: of water is the concern here with this episode, and
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: that is indeed a very concerning thing. Yeah, and we
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: see that in the first team meeting. It's team meeting
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: time almost immediately. Did I read correctly that Jesse's advisor
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: is just named Braverman? I think so, because they don't
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: they don't call June Sarpong Sarpong.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: No, that's true, that's true.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Everyone says first and last names, and this fuck stick
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: is just named Braverman.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Maybe he's a maybe that's his Yeah, maybe that's his title.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: I don't know. He's a Braverman, city Braverman. It's an
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: elected position, like fucking But yeah, Daniel the Skeptic is back.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: I hate this guy.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: I don't know how Alex just showed up that one
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: time on the last episode that was really weird.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: Uh. Yeah, because Daniel is here, and just like with
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Alex Jones, the more he talks, uh, the more you
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: know that it's probably like a pretty accurate theory that
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: they're that they're talking about. Yeah, because he is. He's
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: so much. Alex is so bad, like al is awful,
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: and and his writing is terrible, and he just sounds
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: like the dumbest skeptic and Daniel is worse. It's I
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: don't even know how it's how it happens.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even remember what his objection was here,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: but it seemed like everyone in the room was like,
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: shut up.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: I didn't. I didn't. I didn't catch his reaction just
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: because I was like, oh, fuck.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Off, Daniel, yeah, and screaming in at the TV, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: like he sticks with it for like one second, and he,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: to his credit, he kind of reads the room and
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: he's like, all right, yeah, maybe people are stealing water?
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: You got me? Yeah.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: I think he's literally like what you think people are
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: like stealing water? It's just something along those lines. And
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: he's just like the just restating the basic premise but
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: with a really sarcastic tone.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah. My one question I did have throughout this episode
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: is where do people think bottled water comes from? Yeah?
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Is there like do they think there is some magical
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: source of bottled water that all of these companies tap, Like.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: Yes, it's just water, no, but yes, they they like
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: especially in America. I actually just watched another video about
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: a similar topic. But like, uh, in America, like you
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: can basically just call something spring water, like you know,
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: you you have to be cagy about it. But I
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: think a large percentage of the people who consume bottled
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: water and look and and I drink bottled water because
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: you know, I live in one of those places that
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: has shitty tap water, and also because it's convenient and
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: you know whatever, fuck you. But like, I think there
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: are a lot of people who genuinely think that bottled
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: water comes from a specific source like a spring or
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: some other source that is separate from tap water, when
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: in reality, it draws from tap water somewhere and is processed.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because then in that quote question or in that case,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: my question to those people would be, well, where do
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: you think tap water comes from? Like it's all, well,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: the water we're drinking is coming out of those bodies
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: of water you can see.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Oh no, for sure. But also like there is such
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: a campaign of uh, I don't even know if you
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: can call it a campaign of misinformation. It's just a
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: widespread idea among people that tap water is inherently worse
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: than other water, like if you see the water come
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: out of a tap, then it must be dirty. And
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: like I assume the idea is that, like you know,
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: the pipes are dirty or something that carry it from
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: the reservoir or whatever. But like, yeah, I do think
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: that there's just a general, if not an active thinking
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: along these lines, then just an ignorance and unwilling and
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: not worth looking up the actual information.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah for sure. Yeah, for me, I just use a
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: water pitcher, one of those filtered I use one called
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: a water drop. Yeah, and it seems to work fine, Like,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: oh for sure.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, those and like the Brita's and stuff like they were,
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: they were totally fine. I'm just in a. I'm in
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: a I'm in a bottle of water hook at the moment.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: I just can't get out until I until I get
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: myself up Brita, which will happen eventually.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: It'll happen aspirational, we know. But we'll have a Breada
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: at some point.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's on my dream board. It's so.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: June interviews a documentary filmmaker named Sam Braso or Sam Boso,
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: and all he really does does is jump in and go, Hey,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: there's two shady corporations. That are buying up local water
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: sources all around the world and then reselling the water
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: to the people. And uh, yeah, they don't really follow
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: that no much. They mentioned the companies, but then they
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: just kind of leave it there.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Well again this comes after uh, Jesse basic casually
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: dismissing the idea that capitalism is the root of all
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: of these problems, and so of course when they've got
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: a guy on who literally says, yeah, the one of
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: the major problems is that these companies are have no
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: incentive to not buy up all this water and then
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: sell it back in an enormous profit. Uh, he can't
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: really do much with that because that supports the fact
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: that it's capitalism and doing this.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: But you know what doesn't support this being capitalism. Oh yeah,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: the fact that some private individuals are doing this too.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Sorry Jesse. That's also yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: I mean, like I guest, it's sure individuals are buying
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: up water, but like is it isn't that the normal?
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Like that's how it's used to work, right, Like you
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: would buy a piece of property, like I've lived on
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: land that had well water. Like you if you have
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: a piece of that has water under the ground, you
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: tap it and then you get well water, uh, it's yours.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: That's like, that's individual doing that sort of thing. Is
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: that's that's normal. The problem is the corporations.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and in this case individuals refers to the Bush family,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: oh for sure and T. Boone Pickens, who is a
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: famous oilman in Texas, and it's like, that's still corporations
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: the right exactly, Like that there is such a fine
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: line between being a corporation and being T. Boom Pickens.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: So we're still talking capitalism bub sorry exactly.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: I mean yeah, I mean even if even if it's
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: not Georgia HW Bush, D Boone Pickens, it's still capitalism.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: That's letting the individuals buy the fucking water like and
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: sell it to people. Like that's what that is.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you almost have to respect how brazen T. Boon
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: Pickens is in the video they show where he's being
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: interviewed about water rights and selling water, and he's like, well,
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: people say, you're not going to charge for air, air's free.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Water should be should be the same thing. No one's
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: gonna pay for water. And he just looks at the
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: camera and goes watch what happens.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, and.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: And yeah he's right, he was, like I think he did.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Add you just won't have water. It's like, yeah, and
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: here's the thing. We already pay for water like a lot,
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: like you don't. I don't know if many housing situations
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: where water like unless you do have your own, well,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: I guess. But beyond that, Yeah, you're paying for water.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: Even if you live in an apartment where the apartment
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: pays for the water, they're paying for water. Yeah, we
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: don't pay for it anyway. It's just pay as we
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: pay the government. We don't pay Tea Boone Pickens yet.
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, and yeah, and it's true because it's convenient.
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: And I that's one of the main reasons why I
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: currently used by the water, even though I you know,
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: I'm aware of the of the downsites to it, but
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: it's super convenient.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: You mean, like you mean like how they can put
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: poison in it?
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, exactly, that's what I mean. How they can
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: the Yeah, we're not we're not to the the the hormone.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Part, are we No, we are we are we are Okay,
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: because so far, like he goes, Danny the Skeptic goes
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: and interviews another guy in Texas who's like I'm very
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: concerned about what T Boom Pickens is doing. And at
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: this point everything sounds perfectly reasonable, Like, yes, this is
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: people voicing legitimate concerns about legitimate problems. Yeah, so of
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: course it's time for Alex Jones to show up and
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: uh kick things into the crazy stratosphere. He does voice
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: his concerns about privatization also yeah, but then uh he
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: also adds the this part about how they want to
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: add lithium to everyone's water and they're using lithium to
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: make us more docile and so they can control us. Yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: and uh. I looked into this, and it took me
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: a good twenty to thirty seconds of googling, but I
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: did find this quote in regards to lithium in water,
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Lithium is a naturally occurring element and is found in
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: variable amounts in vegetables, grains, spices, and drinking water. It
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: is present in trace amounts in virtually all rocks, and
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: is mobilized by weathering into soils, ground and standing water,
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: and thus into the public water supply. Lithium is always
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: going to be in the water supply.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: Yes, and like if you wanted in order for this
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: to work, in order for like, let's say the government
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: is deciding to add concentrated lithium into the water above
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: what is normally in you know, just found in literally
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: everything that we consume basically, Uh, does he understand how
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: fucking hard and expensive it is to get a large
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: amount of concentrated lithium, Like it's a there's not a
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: lot of it in you know, like concentrated in the world.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: Like it's a there's a reason they call it a
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: rare earth mineral, Like it's it's a there's a limited
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: quantity it and it's made from shit that created the universe,
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: and we're never gonna get more. So you know, they're
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: not gonna fucking use it to turn the frog's gay
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: or whatever fucking bullshit he talks about. Also, if he's
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: so concerned with you know, he talks about how like, oh,
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: there's no regulations on blah blah blah. I'm like, I'm
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: pretty sure Alex Jones, at least current Alex Jones hates
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: federal regulation, So why is he so concerned about it?
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, That's that's a conflict that comes up a lot
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: in this series in general, because you know, Jesse venture
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: is probably a big anti regulations guy, I mean I get.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's probably just like a fucking libertarian.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that's the next thing they talk about is
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: how there's no real regulation into what goes into bottled water,
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: so they can put anything they want in that.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: But that's not true, though, is the thing? Like? That's
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: that's that I look this part up and like it's
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: not true that the FDA doesn't regulate what goes into
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: bottled water, because that's the FDA's jurisdiction is finding out
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: what goes into everything that is sold for to be
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: consumed basically, right. Uh. The thing that doesn't have regulation
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: is uh, like it's the companies that like create like
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: bottle the water. Uh Like how how is it phrase?
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: I read this whole like academic article and they and
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: it really explained it where uh, the FDA does not
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: approve bottled water for they which are like the manufacturers,
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: They just ensure that the contents of the bottle are
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: like safe for consumption, so there are regulations.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah that, I mean, that's not surprising, right, it shouldn't
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: be like that's of course there has to be someone
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: sort of looking into that, right.
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: That's why as soon as I heard that, I'm like, well, okay,
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: I gotta look that up because there's no I'm not
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: letting that go unquestioned, unlike Jesse Vanjura.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: So this bottled water expert tells them they should go
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: to the Great Lakes to look into this more, and
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Jesse's all for it because that means going to Minnesota.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: That's his home, my home state, and he goes to
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: me with Dave Dempsey, a water activist based in Minneapolis,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: which fantastic city for the record, absolutely if you've never
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: been Minneapolis. Rules. His concern is that water is being
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: sold from the Great Lakes and shipped to Asia, and
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: that he also follows that up by saying, no one
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: really knows where this water is going. Didn't you just
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: say it's going to Asia?
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: You just said China, Buddy, I'm pretty sure that's all.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I don't need more specifics than that.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: But like.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Jesse decides he's going to get to the bottom of
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: this by going to Michigan, and I'm like, well, since
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: when does Michigan have water scandals. I've never heard anything
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: bad about water in Michigan.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: No, of course, everything diver is that Nesley came in
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: and cleaned it up and you know, made everything run
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: so much more efficiently, and it's all great there in
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: Michigan now with water.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one of my not I don't think favorite is
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: the way to put it. But one of the most
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: shocking details that came out of the Flint water crisis
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: was that at one point, I think it was a
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: GM plant was like, Hey, this new water you hooked
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: us up to is fucking our cars up. You got
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: to put us back on the old stuff. And the
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: city was like, of course, your majesty. Meanwhile, people are
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: drinking this water and they're like, yeah, calm down right,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: we got all this bottled water. It's got lithium in it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: It's gonna chill you write the fuck out.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: Look, guys, you know you if just think about it
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: like this. You know, it's a cold night in Michigan.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: You turn on the tap and then you just light
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: the tap on fire, and then you get a nice
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: little sense you can get some heat and.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Some water to drink, a little fire faucet. It's nice.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: People would kill for that.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: People have killed about that.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: So the allegation here is that Nesley has been buying
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: up Great Lakes water and we're selling it to who
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: knows who.
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: I don't believe that NESLEI would do anything like that.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: Nestle, the ones who make their cocoa powder with child labor, come.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: On, Nesley. But they make the crunch. They make the crunch.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: Far the crunch. They got the rabbit. When I first
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: when I first started writing for Cracked, I wrote this
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: article that I would still argue like changed the direction
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: of Cracked a little bit. But it was called the
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Awful Truth behind Things in Your Shopping Cart. Yeah, And
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: it was like it was a comedy website and this
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: article was just about like cats being flushed down drains
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: at items, plants and shit. Yeah, And somehow it got
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: approved and the editor who sent it back to me
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: was like, well, everyone else said this is too depressing,
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: but I assured them you could make it funny. And
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: it was like the fifth thing I'd ever been paid
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: to write comedy for. And I had a borderline nervous
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: breakdown trying to make that shit funny without just seeming
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: like the biggest asshole in the world.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: Uh. Well, and that is a needle that Cracked was
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: so good at threading over the years that it was active.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: It it kind of was.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: It was good. It could be. I'm not I didn't
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: need to be quite so sick, but like there were
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: definitely misses.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for sure. I mean my shit was always great.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: But no, of course everyone knows that. One of the
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: things I did in that article to like soften the
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: blow of the information was there were pictures of kids
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: actually working on Nesley cocoa farms because the way there
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: was something about the way their chocolate was harvested, like
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: they had to use child labor, right, it was either
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: that or you don't have delicious powder to put in
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: your milk. Chocolate milk.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's exactly like the plot of Neogenesis saving Gelian,
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: where it's just like the only people who can do
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: who can drive the giant robots are the kids. That's it, that's.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: All we got or snow piercer. Kids aren't fitting that machinery,
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Like they're the only ones who can get in there.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: You can't stuff an adult in the train keep it running.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: And yeah, so what I did is for each entry,
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: I like just phone shop their corporate mascot into or
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: each company's corporate mascot into like a scene of horror
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: that goes into their product, and the nestleye one was
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: just these kids farming cocoa and the Nestley Quick bunny
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: just standing next to him giving the thumbs up. It
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: was bleak. It's a good article. Hu, shit's crazy to.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: Go look that up. I'm sure I read it back
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: in the day.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: So so yeah, the the Nesleie thing. Back to Neslie,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Daniel's heading to the Stanwood bottling plant, which just looks
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: like a bottling plant in the middle of nowhere. I
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: don't know what we're supposed to see there. I guess
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: that's where we're supposed to see the drugs being pumped
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: into the bottled water, right, yeah, because that that's what
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: bothers me about the Alex Jones thing is from this
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: point on, anytime Jesse like throws out a summary of
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: like here's where we are, right, he always mentions the
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: maybe water tainted with drugs, And it's like, god damn
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: it Outlex Jones, because you know how so many people
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: will see this and see Alex Jones and be like
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I'm out that. Yeah that obviously this is all complete
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: and total bullshit because Alex Jones is there and it's
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: not bullshit. It's just the part Alex Jones brings up
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: his bullshit exactly.
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: That's the problem with him.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's guilt by association. So they head to this
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: bottling plant. Meanwhile, Jesse he goes to like this pumping facility,
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: which is sort of weird. Yeah, we don't ever see
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: any of the pumps, but the implication is that this
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: area he goes to in the middle of the woods
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: in Michigan is where Nestley pumps water away from the
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Great Lakes. Yeah, because they can't just put the pumps
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: in the Great Lakes. That would be too obvious. So
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: what they do is they pump water away from the
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: bodies of water that feed into the Great Lakes. And
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: this facility is fenced off. There's barbed wire and there's
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: a sign above it that says sanctuary, as if it's
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: like an animal sanctuary of some site. But it's not.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: It's a place where they pump water out of the ground.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: At least that's what they claim. They don't really show
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: those pumps, but.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: I guess because they can't get close.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I did like that when Jesse and his team stroll
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: up to the gates of this pumping facility, the camera
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: like turns to like predator vision. It's like, yeah, it's like,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: what are you expecting to jump out of this, like
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: a fucking invisible monster with dreadlocks? Like, yeah, why the
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: predator just because you're in the woods?
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's because he's in the woods and
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: you know, maybe somebody had like an infrared camera on
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: them and they're like, oh shit, we can use this
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: and like it. He does rarely mentioned being a predator.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: It doesn't come up very often, so I think we're
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: due for it. And also, I you know, I think
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: maybe maybe Jesse thought this episode was kind of boring
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: because like it doesn't seem to be quite as out
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: there as some of the other ones. There's not as
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: much like like headline grabbing stuff. So he brings in
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: Alex Jones. He does like a predator gimmick because he
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: is again not able to comprehend the fact that capitalism
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: is the cause of these problems and is continuing to
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: be the cause of all of our problems. And yeah,
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: and so I think he's like maybe trying to spice
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: things up even though they don't need it.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't need to. This is a very compelling episode. Yes,
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: it's just Jesse doesn't for once believe as hard as
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: he needs to.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: No, Yeah, he's he's I just don't think he It's
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: just I think maybe he thinks water is boring. I
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: think it might be that simple.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And so he goes and interviews a lobbyist, a
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: guy named Michael Dean, and he's here to ask him
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: the tough questions such as, is there a conspiracy to
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: control the world's water? Who, in this man's position is
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: gonna say yes?
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: Whoever? Like, I mean, like, I just can't imagine that
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: question ever being useful. That just is not a useful question.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: And this happens a lot when he interviews people who
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: might actually be able to give him answers. Is he's
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: just so bad at coming up with questions?
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the problem here is, No, there's not a conspiracy.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: It's just happening exactly.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: That doesn't need to be a conspiracy unless you consider
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: a bunch of capitalists getting together, not getting together, but
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: like a bunch of capitalists deciding to monopolize as many
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: of the world's resources as they possibly can before you know,
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: we are all underwater in forty years a conspiracy. But
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: he can't do that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, I don't know how he's so surprised
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: at hearing that a resource that we know is finite
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: and is gonna start being a big problem in the future.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: He hears that, and he's like, you're telling me people
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: are trying to make money off that. Yeah, And it's like, Jesse,
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: that's our entire history.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: That's the that is like, that is the founding American principle.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: It is it is what makes the world go round
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: right now. This is not a conspiracy. It's just one
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: of the problems the world is fa Like he's overthinking this, yeah,
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: but yeah, yeah, I don't like his line of questioning
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: here either, because he's trying to have this gotcha moment
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: where he's like, okay, so tap water, does it even
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: cost one cent per gallon?
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: And he's trying to nail this guy on the math
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: of like how much they inflate the price of bottled water.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: In one the guy makes it clear, well, it's not
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: just tap water. There's some processes that it goes through
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: right before it's bottled and sold as bottled water. And
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: the guy doesn't say it, but that shit's not free, Like, no,
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: that's gonna get worked into the cost. And also what
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: never comes up is tap water still exists. Yes, if
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: you want the one cent per gallon version of this product,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: go to your kitchen sink and get it. Yeah, Like,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: there's a Verizon commercial right now with Kate McKinnon that
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: makes me so angry because the first thing she says
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: is better shouldn't cost more? Ballfucking shit, Since when it
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: should something that's better not cost more than the thing
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: that is inferior. That makes I don't know what school
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: of economics that is, but that's fucking buffoonery.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: I don't think. I think it's a school of marketing,
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: I guess.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: And like that's that's kind of Jesse venture as argument here. Yeah,
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: well it doesn't cost you anything to put tap water
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: into a bottle. It's like where the bottles come from.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: Well, and but here's the other thing, like he if
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: even if he brought like he's obviously missing that you
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: can you can just go to the tap But a
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: way that he could counter this guy's very clear headed
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: understanding of how capitalism works and how up charging on
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: a basics uh you know resource happens is he could say,
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: but what about all the people who rely on bottle
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: of water because they're drinking water, isn't uh, you know,
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: as potable like you know, like in Michigan and like
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: a bunch of other places in America that you know
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: don't get as much airtime. Like that's a perfectly valid
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: thing to bring up, because yeah, like you can technically
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: get the cheap water from your tap, but that's not
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: a possibility for a lot of people.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Right, And also why not ask about the mind altering
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: drugs thing, right, that would be way more entertaining if
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: you believe that so much? Run that by this lobbyist,
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: because what kind of look he gives you.
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: Right, And like because yeah, like you were saying, like
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: if he's just like so what so how much would
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: you say it costs per gallon per bottle one cin?
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: He's like that's so low. It's probably one cent per gallon,
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: and like, like the guy is not hiding anything here now,
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: like because again, he is just using the system that
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: exists in this country and so obviously feels no shame
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: about it, even if he probably should, because I doubt
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: what he's doing as a line of work is ethical,
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: but like he has no reason to feel guilt about
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: it because that's the system. That's how it works. You
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: get something, you sell it for more.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: So. The last person he meets with, a woman named
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: Lauren Moray. Yeah, I didn't like her one bit.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: No, she definitely gave off super strong turf vibes with
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: her little red coat and sharp hair cut like and
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: then and also her talking about how they're putting hormones
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: in the water that you know, increase estrogen and decrease
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: testosterone and can cause sterilization. And I'm like, honey, if
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: if it, if it were that easy, uh, then I
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: would have been chugging tapwater all day long for years. Like,
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: it is not that easy. That is not how it works.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: Take it from an expert. That is that is not.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: That is not how you would know if they if
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: there was spyro and lactone and estrogen in tap water,
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: you would know. Trust me. It would not just be
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: that you are becoming sterile without you understanding, you would
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: have tits.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Like how come we can't sexually harass women at work anymore?
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: That's that's because of the gay frog.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: Because it's because of the gay frog. Drugs have softened
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: us all up. That's what it is yeah, yeah, she
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: must be the source of the gay frog theory.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: Right, well, I guess yeah. I can't remember if Alex
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: was there with her, when with him when he was
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: talking to her, but yeah.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: She says lithium in our water. She says there's uranium
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: in our water, which I bet if you look that up,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: that's probably a normally occurring thing too. Yeah, and she
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: says the plastic water bottles are making a sterle.
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah I wish, I wish all I had to do
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: was keep drinking by the little water. That would be so good, amazing.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: No, that whole scene I was just cackling, is like, well,
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: this is this is patently ridiculous, Like why aren't we talk,
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: Why aren't we back talking to the to the water
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: protectors guys, Like let's let's let's let's get some more
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: indigenous folks. Yeah, let's go to South Dakota. I know
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: that there were water crises in South Dakota in twenty eleven, Like,
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: why don't they spend any time in Flint? You know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: like go to Flint. It was getting investigated in twenty eleven,
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Like not much, but it was.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: She also delivers some really confusing messaging on China in
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: this moment, Yeah, because she both kind of implies that
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: China is the one putting the drugs in our water,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: but then also that they're buying that water and shipping
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: it back to China and putting it in their aquifers.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: And she she actually has a quote where she says
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: they're pumping our champagne water into their aquifers and leaving
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: the toilet water for us.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: It's like, what, Yeah, I don't really understand this at all. Uh,
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: the the whole China thing is really it didn't really
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: make any sense as far as that being who's taking
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: our water? I don't under look. I'm not super up
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: on current events in China, but I don't know of
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: any water crisis water shortage happening there. Maybe there might be, but.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't argue in this episode that China built
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: this big electricity generating damn project, right, and that that
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: drained a lot of water resources, right, and so they're
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: they're fixing that by buying water from us, right.
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: Well, but there's also you know that there's also the
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: guy who talks about the flexible barge, like the barges
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: full of water that they're getting taken across the seat
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: of China. Yeah, like it just is I don't know,
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: it's the episode was very confused about what China was
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: doing to us.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it really wasn't clear, just that they're buying water,
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: and it's like, if that's the case, well we're selling
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: water like that that should be I feel like we
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: should still be more mad at the people doing that
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: as opposed to China. But then their argument as well,
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: we have to sell it to China because we're slaves
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: to China. It's like, I don't know if that's completely.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: True, but no, I yeah, I definitely not yet. I mean, like,
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: you know, China is definitely going to have a nice
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: run on the world for a hundred years or so,
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: I'm guessing, like, but like right now we are not
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: quite at that spot. We're getting there. But and look,
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: it might be great, it might be good. I'm I'm
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: It's not going to be good. Well, there's no government
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: that could take over the world and it would be good.
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: Well no, but look it's not good now. So it'll
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: at least be a different like.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: You're kind of not good.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, education, maybe it'll be a better knock good you know,
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: you never know who knows.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: At least we'll have all that champagne water though.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: I love champagne water. That's you know, I tell you
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: whether Like when we pop a bottle of champagne back
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: at the office, I'm like, you, guys, you take the bubbly.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: I just want the water.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: Champagne water is the Champagne of waters.
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: I would argue, Oh yes, yeah, well Nicolob should start
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: selling water the Champagne of waters.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: That would be funny. So yeah, do you have any
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: final thoughts on this episode?
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: No, this is all mostly real, except for the stuff
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: that's obviously fake. Like you know, yeah, the capitalism is
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: destroying our world. Rich people are hoarding all of our
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: natural resources and are leaving us high and dry, and
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: we're going to be fighting over straps for the next
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: forty or fifty years as the tides rise and usable
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: land becomes more and more scarce. There we go. It's
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: mad Max, literally, but like less fun, right is the problem?
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: It's like the road honestly.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be t Boone Pickens playing the fire guitar.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: It's gonna be like, oh, that guy doesn't deserve that tea.
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: Boone Pickens is gonna be I think he's dead. Yeah, yeah,
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: he might be think yeah he died in twenty nineteen,
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: thank god. But like you know, Jeff Bezos Elon Musk,
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: they're gonna be fine as long as we don't cut
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: their heads off.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, so that's our episode, right, yeah it is.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: We did it.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: Uh, do we have anything to plug before we get
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: out of here? I don't have anything to plug.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: I plugged at the top. You can find me on Twitter.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Hi there, Hider. Oh that's right. Yeah, we did all that.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: I don't even have to tell you to check your
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: pets for tics this time around, but you should, but
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: you should. You definitely should. Otherwise the government wins. All right,
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: let's get out of here Olivia. Say goodbye, bye, goodbye everybody.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: We love you.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Right about another about a matter antennata ana alb a
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: nada and alab a napa a happen matter anab a.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: Lad anata altnaba in
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: A map a latter in Alaba