Latest / On Your Own Time Podcast / From Devlin to Flight Sargent\ A story of service, sobriety & leadership

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From Devlin to Flight Sargent\ A story of service, sobriety & leadership · On Your Own Time Podcast

• Declan Toland: with a very interesting man here today. Big Westmead fan. Anybody who local around that lawn or anybody in the Defence Forces knows this fella. So Noel, who are you and what do do? Well, I do a lot of things. Not too much at times. I'm a point in the Defence Forces, I've a for 20 years, currently in the Air Corps, senior NCO and huge interest in the Gaelic Athletic Association. detriment to my own peace of mind sometimes. Yeah, and I'm also, I've also been sober for 17 years as well, is a huge part of my story. Yeah, and we had a brief talk about this beforehand as well. like, I could spend five hours talking to you about all the interesting topics you have. But what we do is we go back to who you are and where you're from first. whereabouts are you from? So I grew up in a small little town in the north west meet called Turin, which is about four or five miles from Delvin. So Delvin would be the local village. And so I just tell people I'm from Delvin because all my people are from Delvin. It's easier. I don't even think Turin is on the map. OK, never heard of it before. Yeah, exactly. No, it's a small little town. and a great place full of great people. have some very fond memories growing up there as a child. Great Hurland Club, a proud Hurland Club. two hundred and three or sorry, one hundred and three years in existence. And Grandad was a huge part of that. Farrow was a huge part of that. Clovan had her in there for many years. And yeah, so I grew up in Delvin, like Delvin Village. Very interesting place. If anyone is into history in nineteen eighty, there was a book called The Valley of the Squinting Windows. You know, some say it was wrote about the village. in reality you could take that book and apply it to any rural village at the time and you would have found characters. It's very controversial and you know it's a famous book so if you want to go down on a deep dive Brinsley Macdomarra is the author. Very interesting story. And what was it like growing up in a small village? Tommy Turing described Navin once as a the waiting room of a mental institution. You don't know who's mad or who's minding someone. Delvin's a bit like that. And that's not a drug, that's not to run Delvin down. Delvin has character. Delvin has mystery. there was plenty of characters when I was growing up around Delvin. it was a great place to grow up, in my opinion. But I mean, was, it's a heavy drinking town. not so much nowadays I don't think but when I was growing up there was five or six pubs in it and you know you collected your cheque from the building sites or from you know if you had a job you collected your cheque in the pub you cashed your cheque in the pub and that's you know that kind of culture existed in the late 90s early noughties more so when I started drinking Yeah, so it was an interesting place to grow up. I have some very, very fond memories and I hope someday, you know, I live in Athlone here the last couple of years, I hope someday to return to that area or that village. I said, it has character. It has its own kind of identity. I don't know what the story is. All the villages around Ireland, they always have more pubs and shops and so on. So you came from a village. Don't you mind me in a village as I'm driving through it? And all you see is there's a pub, there's a pub, there's a pub. But for you to live in it, so to be around it, do you think it has a change much in terms of the younger generation? ⁓ well, country has changed, the younger generation. The nightclub scene is completely dead. You know, we were so lucky that we discovered, we got to experience the last island of beauty, I call it. The nightclub scene of the late 90s, early noughties. Like that's completely gone. Kids nowadays will never experience that nightclub. You know, energy and everything that went with it. So that has changed. But also the culture has changed around people's relationship with alcohol. At one time when I was 18 or 19, like... If somebody mentioned they were going to the gym, you'd just have a laugh. You'd talking about going to the gym. But now it's a natural thing. Kids nowadays have gym membership before they'd have a local pub. You know what mean? And back then as well, you were talking about hurling. Would you be more of a hurling man now than a gay man Oh, yeah. Well. I wasn't really a good hurrer. was very small. I just loved the game. I could play hurling but I wasn't county standard or I wouldn't be a starter in a senior team. I just loved the game. I was lucky enough to play Gaelic football for the Downs at a time when the Downs was going through a development. I remember before they had the clubhouse and the stand and before they had it, there might have been a small pitch and a big pitch. and the current kit man in Westmead GA set up there Paddy Walsh who I've had the blessings of working closely with for the last couple of months there. Paddy was our underage coach and he used to drive down and throw a load of us into the back of a van and bring us off playing Gaelic football so I have some very very fond memories. I won an under 14 championship with the Downs in 2002 and There's a number of guys on that start from 15 that have actually passed away, even though it's only 2002. Darren Price was the captain. He was going to be the next Desi Dolan. He was a great footballer, Darren, a great professional. Even at a young age, his standards were very high, 14. Johnny Fitzsimmons, who I went to national school with, was wing half back on that team. unfortunately died by suicide when he was very young. Johnny was a good egg. And then... Brendan Devaney also died overseas as well in hotel somewhere on his way over to Australia or back from Australia. And then you of course, Niall Keegan as well, he cornerback on that team. I jumped off the diving board in Mullingar and banged his head. So I think about that team and it's remarkable, 2002 like, those guys, I often think about them when I see the black and amber jersey, know, we had some great times playing Gaelic football, but I would have leaned more towards Ireland because of where we grew up. Like there was no Gaelic football. If you bounced a Gaelic football in the Cape Paragon Tour, you'd be liable to get barred from it. know what I mean? was zero football. Was there any soccer? Soccer, Blasphemy, you'd be called out for cultural and something mass you would. There was a soccer team in the late 90s, my father and my uncle and a load of guys came together and they formed Clough and Celtic. And they won the Mead District League as well. It's crumbled before they got an opportunity to kind of establish a club there, but that would have been, that had the potential to be something very, very positive because in the off season from the GAA, you had a massive catchment area there at Clotting Inn. You had, at the time, would have had Chur and Clonkill, everybody from the Downs ⁓ and probably a few people near Colocan as well, because Reharney United wasn't established at the time. So that had the potential to be something really cool. And we had a great couple of seasons that time. following Klaw and Celtic in the off season. you know, my uncle always says that the reason that they got to the intermediate final in 1997 was because they were all playing soccer in the off season and they were all just that fit fitter, you know? Yeah, that's mad. so move on to joining the defence forces. So what inspired you join the defence force? Well, it's a family business, mean, I in 2006, I was in a bad way with the drink, like a real bad way. I drinking almost three to four times a week, partying, everything else that goes with it, and staying up all night. I had a good job at the time. I was working for Fox's Fruit and Veg in Mullingar, with my little shameless plug there for anyone to slither and get your fresh fruit off the vice. And it was a great, it was an ideal job for me because I started work at four o'clock in the morning on a Monday. Sometimes I'd often leave a house party. Sunday night straight up on the lorry. He'd go and work. He'd be finished work around two or three o'clock on the Monday. You were off Tuesday, so you could do Monday club if you wanted. Died all day Tuesday. Wednesday was 4 a.m. to about 11. Thursday was 8 a.m. to about 1. And Friday was 4 to 4. So it was a dream job for someone who was, you know, and I was eating all the fresh fruit in the world, even though I was drinking heavily. Balanced, you? Yeah, yeah. And then I... There's a conversation about me heading to America. You know, because I was, I wasn't really in much trouble at the time, I seemed to, not that I caused a lot of trouble, but I seemed to be, have this unique ability to be near a lot of trouble, like things getting set on fire, of arguments. I was kind of always there. I wouldn't be the one going out and starting trouble. I wasn't a saint. I had this unique ability to always be in this sort of mad scenario every weekend. another thing which was a huge part of growing up as well, was an awful lot of suicide in early 90s in Delvin, that area. Like one minute you're drinking with a guy and the next thing you're carrying is coffin. It was a very, very strange place to be, to try and make sense of that in your developmental age, along with pouring alcohol down on top of all that stuff. I was supposed to go to America, then think my father said to me, why don't you throw your hat in the army? Well, you always talked about being a soldier. At the time, my uncle was a sergeant and my granddad was retired regiment sergeant major. My great-grandfather fought in the Battle of the Sons. It was a family business. I applied for the British Army, the French Foreign Legion and the Irish Army in 2006. thank God, what you would, the Irish Army got back to me and I was successful in the interview and I got in. The thing that I realized very early on in ⁓ recruiting, and by the way, I was by no means an exceptional soldier. was in a lot of anxiety issues, mental health problems, you know. It was a massive change from basically marching to the beat your own drum to being told what to do, what to wear, where to go. But the thing that I realized was, really struggled in school as well, is that I was craving that organization my whole life and I didn't even know it. So I came from an alcoholic home, which is not an uncommon thing in Ireland, My dad was a drinker. We were always warm, we were always fed. There was always a few pound in the house. It wasn't total chaos, broken windows and all that kind of stuff. But there was an awful lot of uncertainty. was an awful lot of unpredictability. was an awful lot of one day your daddy's there, the next day he's gone on the beer for three days. That sort of stuff. And when I joined the defense forces. You want me to be here at this time? You want me to dress this way? was total certainty all the time. And I was like, this is what I missed my whole life. This is what they tried to do in school, but they took a different approach. They took an aggressive approach, which didn't work. It didn't work. I just shut down. And I rebelled against it. Whereas the defense force, and also I knew it was my last chance. I had a couple of jobs. I left school very early. had a couple of jobs. knew this is the last crack of the whip here. you quit this, you're going to spend the rest of your life sitting about Delvin with lots of fags gathering around your ankles wondering where it all went wrong. I just knew instinctively I had to stick it out. I'm so glad I did. And did you find it hard, said in 2006 that you're a big drinker, to come into it as you talked about regimental, where you have to be with timings to stop the drinking. Like you're in there a long while back then, back then, still 16, 17 weeks. We started in December of 2006 and we finished in April of 2007 and we had a two week break Christmas time. At the time you see, we used to get out, if you got out on a weekend pass, it was straight to Biddy Mulligan's. There was a couple of great guys in my platoon and if they're listening to this podcast, they'll get a laugh out of it. We used to, you know, we had a fight and patrol straight to Biddy Mulligan's. Remember one time we got an early release on a Friday, was a bank holiday weekend, nearly end of training. We had an auger open. We'd move out two up, one down, covering all angles, and we're going to head to Biddy Mulligan's. And I got into Biddy Mulligan's and I said, I have to get the bus home at 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock. This could have been 12 or 1. I had about an hour window to get the bus. I said, I'll drink bottles because I don't really want to get too drunk. One of these delusional coping mechanisms, again, combating a bender. started drinking bottles of Budweiser and I looked at the clock and said, I get the next one. was a bus every two hours. And I drank another couple of bottles. I I get the next one, I get the next one. So eventually I knew about six o'clock, I was with 18 bottles of Budweiser deep. I said, I may go on the bus here now. And I got on the bus and broke and I blacked out on the bus. And I woke up and I looked out and I seen O'Connell Street. And I said, the outcome of this is not going to be good. I was rattling as well, find my bag, didn't know where anything was. Got off the bus then went up to the guy I said when's the next bus back to Mullingar? He said oh no, you just missed it, it's gone now. I said well, is there any buses going to Delvin? Just burst out laughing, where's that? So eventually anyway I got a bus back to Navan and then had to get a bus from Navan back to Kells. I ended up back at Kells at like one o'clock in the morning. one of the lads picked me up and I said don't arrive here without any alcohol you know I was just and that's the kind of way I live my life it was just this chaos you see not many people understand alcoholism they think ⁓ people think it's a park bench It's a dirty brown coat. It's a bottle of beer in a brown bag. And it's someone who has to drink every day, which are elements of every drink, by the way. the thing about alcoholism is it's a mental obsession and a physical allergy. That's it. It's twofold problem. Illness. it what you want. And, you know, nowadays they have this fancy word on it called substance use disorder. You can flower it up whatever way you want. Alcohol will take the polish off your shoes if you have a problem with it. It's a subtle obsession, right? Not like, you know, when you'd be obsessed with a girl when you were a young fella and all you could think about was beating her and going to the gym and all that. Some days it's really heavy. Some days it's like, have to drink, I'm going to drink, I need to drink, who's going to drink? Will we have money? Will I have enough money? What will I wear? Where will we go? Will there be crack there? Will there be crack at another place? All of these thoughts go round your head until eventually you give in and say, I'm going to drink and I'm going somewhere. And then other times, and this is the part that catches people out, this is the subtle part of the mental obsession. You're walking down the street, it's 31 degrees like it is today. Life is great. You haven't had a few beers in a few weeks. There's no drama in your life. There's no consequence in your life. Everything is great. And all normality gets pushed to one side by one subtle thought that comes into your head and goes, do you know what, a bottle of cider would be nice. knowing what you know about alcohol, knowing where it brings you. And yet you make a decision based on that insane thought. Like for me to take a drink today after nearly 17 years, I would be committing the most insane act of my life. Because I lose all control. I take a drink, the drink takes me. I have no control where I'm going to end up, what I'm going to do. So I don't take one drink for one day. That's it. That's the magic formula. So once I give in to either one of those obsessions, whether it's... the exact aggressive one that's heavy on the head or whether it's the light breeze that just says, what bottle of cider, it's the worst that could happen. know, and do you have that? Do you have that in your head sometimes? We have one more. Today, sometimes a fleeting thought will come in, but I recognize it as what it is. And I have open tools, as they call them nowadays. Or, you know, I'm a big man on spirituality. Sometimes I just pause and say the surrender prayer. And other times I just pause and go like. I recoil from it as from a hot flame. This thing will hurt me. I'll give you an example, right? And then I'll explain the physical allergy. In 1998, I fell off the roof of my granddad's hair shed in Delphi. And I fell onto a cattle feeder and I broke three ribs. Now that's coming up on 30 years ago, three decades ago, When I drive into my granddad's yard and I see that hay shed, my brain tells me that thing will hurt you. You remember the day you fell off it? That was really sore. But where alcohol is concerned, I don't have that type of wiring. My brain will tell me alcohol is a solution. My brain will tell me alcohol will make me feel good, alcohol will make me relaxed. ⁓ This is the type of thought process. So we have to have certain steps or certain ideas to change that and if you don't take the first drink you can't get drunk. Now that's mind-blowing for someone who can't get past this idea that a drink will make me feel better, drink is my solution. So coupled with all that, have what's known as a physical allergy. Now whether that allergy, know, an allergy is defined as an abnormal reaction. I react abnormally when I drink. So whether that exists here, whether it exists in my right glute, or whether it exists in the left side of my brain, it's irrelevant. The fact is that I have it. Once I take a drink, something inside me goes, you need more. And more. And more. And I'm drinking not because I'm lonely, not because me parents didn't love me, not because I was bullied in school. I'm drinking to try and satisfy that craving. And that's fascinating. That's crazy. I can't never understand that because yes, I like me a drinks. I know I have it. You have the bug. You think I'm an alien, just claiming this. You're like, what? What do you mean you lose control? I'll end up four counties away in the same underpants if no one's talking to me. And what are you like as a drunk? you a messy drunk? I know you're talking about you're always around trouble, but are you a messy drunk or are a violent drunk? I'm unpredictable. OK, so you don't know? No. If I could tell you today I'm going to be violent and all. Today I'm going to be sad Noly. Today I'm going to be sleepy Noly. And then I'll be still drinking. But I have no control over the type of person I become. It's a real kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. It's a roll of the dice which Noly you're going to meet if I take a drink. And that's why I say for me to take a drink would be committing the most insane act of my life. The most insane. But it's crazy how people judge, oh God, Deci, he's a messy drunk, dearly. Or Deci's on the beer, three nights, three or four nights a week, he's a messy drunk. he's a messy drunk we actually don't understand him understand the trouble he's going through if he has what's known as they like to call it substance use disorder I call alcoholism that's because that's what it is and when someone dies of alcoholism you know the family don't care whether it's called substance use disorder or alcohol it will strip you you will violate your standards quicker than you will lower them as an active alcohol What's the what's your biggest law when you're drinking alcohol? And there's laws like there's mountains. I mean, I am. situations where if I wasn't drinking I wouldn't have been in it. The biggest lull was there was a group of people trying to help me right in Mullingar and in that group of people there's a thing that happens after that group gathers together and it's to take up a small collection right to rent a room make sure the lights are on. make sure that that space is there for people to come. And the lowest point, one of the lowest points, it's pretty low. I was about four months sober at the time, I about 20 years old. So I tried to stop drinking at 18 and didn't get sober until I was 21. Windows three and a half years was pretty rough, I kept relapsing. I sent you the photograph to put up on the thing, because that's my reminder. I looked like I failed the audition for Friendspot in that photograph. And one of the lowest points was I was handed a bag of money from that group. by an older guy and he said, will you just drop that across the road there, you know, it has to be processed and sent to the right place. And I said, yeah, no bother. Now, if you ask me at the top of the stairs, was I going to drink this money? I would have said no. you hooked me up to a lie detector test and asked me, I would have said, no, no. I got to the bottom of the stairs and the place I was meant to drop the money was 25 paces to my right, across the road, in through a letter box. was another man going to take it and process it. And John Daly's pole was to my left. I couldn't turn right. I just couldn't. I turned left, down to John Daly's boat, and I drank that water. And that's one of the lowest points because there's no bells and whistles. It was just at a point of total powerlessness. Every single bone in my body wanted to do the right thing. I was gripped by something larger. And if you don't have alcoholism, you won't understand that. You think this one is crazy. Why couldn't he just turn right? That's the essence of being powerless. That's the essence of something larger, something way larger at play here. It is an addiction. Any form of addiction is probably the same. Again, I don't understand in terms of people like that. I explained it in soccer terms, because you're a soccer player. All addiction plays for the same team, but they play in different positions. And that's it. So the gambler might be the rightful. Alcoholic could be playing in the middle of the field. Drug addict could be the goalkeeper. The food addict could be up front. Because the traits are slightly different. know, a fellow said to me one time, an alcoholic would steal your wallet. A drug addict would steal your wallet and help you look for it. You know? So there's slight variations. But the end goal is always the same. The end goal is always the same. Ease, comfort. This thing is a solution. This thing will make me stop whatever, know, resentments or building up whatever anger, whatever frustration, ill feeling I feel. When I take a drink, it's a solution. And when you're at your turning point, so what was the exact point of it saying, fuck this, not drinking anymore? And is there anybody, one person or a group of people that actually helped you more? So it's ironic enough because I'd be a big man on I believe that there is a spiritual velvet. lot people might think that's nuts. I firmly believe that the day I left out my last drink, every candle that was ever lit for me or every prayer that was ever said by my granny and by my mother was answered in that moment. Because my last drink, I was in Mojo's in Mullingar, the 1st of November 2009. It was 20 to 12, 11.40. And ironically, that's the same time the Titanic hit the iceberg as well. Not the same day, but the same time. And it was a Captain Morgan and Coke and I drank it. 101,000 times before I turned right. I walked up to the bar and ordered another drink. Be it consciously or against my will or whatever, but that was the natural thing. Drink, order another one, drink. But that night, I turned left and walked out. No fighting, no bells and whistles, no madness. I just walked out. I got up the following morning with 20 euros in my pocket. was the first time I had come out of a drinking bender with money in my pocket. Ever. Ever. Now there's only 20 euros. Still some. But there was a change. Something different had happened. And I haven't had a drink since. Now there's me, there was... Countless times. I mean like you said we could talk with us for five hours. There was countless times where I Should have stopped could have stopped needed to stop had to stop and didn't But on that night I can still taste it today Captain Morgan and coke two cubes of ice Put it down Left and right. It's And if any of us listen to us for watching us on YouTube and the iron ass situation. Is there any way to help them? There's countless recovery fellowships, whatever your crotch is, whatever bone you have, whatever bug you have, it's drugs I call, sex, gambling. food. I'm just listening a few off the top of my head here. I don't have them all, thank God. But you just Google one of those and what I would say is go to the relevant 12-star. That would be my advice to people. And also if you're in trouble with a drink, I can't help you with gambling or anything else, help you with a drink. My personal details are available through this podcast. If anyone reaches out to you, give them my number, me. Yeah, that's her. That's a lot. had a fellow on a previous episode, Ryan Bradshaw. He's in the offense force as well, but he had found the drink. And he realized, he came to a point and he realized that the drink was taken over and he didn't want to be a role model for his brother. And fitness was his outcome. But we talked about overthinking and we talked about overthinking and he came from alcohol to... Training. So now he overdoes it in training. Well, there's one thing I can say about that. I'm a big man of it Big man on tipping away and doing something whether it's a fire care lifting a few weights But you will not blackout an assaulting officer of the law You could be at a hell of a lot worse than pumping a bit of iron. What do you mean by that? Like, mean, so you could give up the drink and replace it sugar. You could give up the drink and replace it with sex. could up the drink and replace it with gambling. There's countless avenues. So picking up something healthy like, you know, physical activity and being an example, being a role model, being... an influencer in that area. That's positive thing. In my opinion, it's a positive thing. Now, if you're doing it to the point where you're injuring yourself and you're hurting yourself and you're pushing through injury, then you need to look at your relationship with it. But you see, there's a very thin line between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic. A heavy drinker with sufficient reason, change of environment, ill health, warning from a doctor, whatever, will be able to stop or moderate. But the alcoholic... virtually in almost all cases, not all cases, I'm not going to commit to a universal answer, but in most cases we'll find it absolutely impossible to stop. Like I said, was countless times I should have stopped, could have stopped, would have and couldn't. I'll give you one example. I remember being, I was 19 or 20 and I had strung together a couple of months to write an idea and it was going on this holiday. all the old guys that were helping me back in the day were telling me, don't go on the holiday, you're not strong enough, don't think it's a good idea. And I said, what do you know, I'm going on the holiday. And it's back to this kind of subtle insanity or mental obsession that we talk about. I got off the bus, the plane got on the bus to the hotel, got to the hotel and Irish people have this unique ability to go all over the world but the first thing we look for is an Irish bar. Absolutely, you know, I'd love to do a study on it someday, there probably has been a study done on it. But anyway, I was queuing and I was waiting to check in and I went outside, was smoking at the time, I having a cigarette. I looked across the road and there was an Irish bar. Now, if you had asked me on the plane or getting on the bus, you want to drink on this holiday? I would have said no, I'm going to drink on this holiday. I'm sober, like, you know, that's it. And I seen this billboard for Portuguese beer. My brain said to me, in all the years you were drinking, you never had Portuguese beer. made a decision based on that and saying to her to take a drink. Once I took a drink, the drink took me and I lay drunk on that holiday for seven days. Now that's not the habit of drinking. That is the obsession of drinking there. But it's hard, you're saying you're 90 and 20 years of age. That's very, very hard at that age to recognise. Completely, I know when I was 19 and 20, I love alcohol, but I don't think... Yes, I drank a lot at 20s. was younger than the army. ⁓ I was having a good few years. back then. That's a credit to you for what you came through and to recognize that. Is there anybody that stands out? So I talk about role models or role models in terms of what helped you back then. Is there anybody that stands out to you? I have countless. So there was a man that helped me an awful lot. He's a PGA professional. He's living in America at the moment. David Byrne. Check him out on Instagram. He's a PGA golf coach. David has been a... has been a serious rock for me over last 20 years when I first met him, you know. And he was a massive, massive influence. You know, I remember he used to go down to Davey and Longford Golf Club. was the pro in Longford. When I stopped drinking, my life was in ruins, I mean in ruins. talked to you briefly about the start of it. I was wrapped up in a court case for something I did in a blackout. Ended up getting 12 months in prison for it. Overturned it to a 200 euro fine. Couldn't carry my rifle at work. Wasn't allowed to do course. Crammed up to the comms in to answer the phone. Wasn't allowed to answer the phone during the day in case some high ranking officer rang. It was a really bad place, a really dark place. We used go down to Daville. I'd win with some problem, know, oh, my head, David, my head's gone or whatever. You know, some trivial problem that I thought was massive as you do when you're young for that. And David got into a habit of just, I'd ring him on the way down and he'd have 250 golf balls in a book, in a seven-hour, right? And when I'd walk in, he could see the madness in me. He described me, says, you were like a rabbit with mix in my toes. says, you were crazy, you know? And I was very unhealthy as well. Like my liver was inflamed and my eyes were all, yeah. I was very, I nearly died, alcohol nearly killed me. That's not a fictitious, you can see the photograph. was dying inside. David, just, when he'd see me come in, he'd reach up and he'd have a bucket of golf balls and a 7-air and he'd say, go and hit them, come back to me, they're gone. And you know, when I used to come back to him, I'd have welts in my hands, but whatever was bothering me was gone. He knew that. He knew that I just needed to expend a bit of energy, needed a bit of time on my own, just concentrating on something else. He was a massive, massive help to me. I owe him, I owe him my life. I'd never be able to repay David for the way, you know, the leadership and, you know, everything he showed. And that's outside the defense forces. Then I was so lucky. I mean, I was so lucky to have Aaron. a mentor in my uncle Paddy who retired as CS. Paddy was a sergeant at the time, joined the army in 1990. I joined in 2006. was 16 years between us and we ended up with the same last two digits. He was 22-pointed, I was 22-pointed. And Paddy only ever gave out to me once and it was drink-relay. You know, only once, drink-relay. But I was so lucky. He never covered me, he never got me out of any trouble, he never, you know, went out of his way. But he quietly influenced me by his example, by how he done business. And when I became a sergeant, I genuinely wanted to be like him, how he done business, how he treated people. He was well able to clip people if people needed a clipping. He was the king of one liners. I mean, the king of one liners. Patty Pydren should write a book. Internally then as well, I was influenced by people like ⁓ Sergeant Major David O'Reilly. And I really don't want to start listing names off here because I'm going to get people. You know there was even in the officer ranks there, left in the corner, Ian Kilbride. I've worked along with Ian since he was a lieutenant. I worked with him as a, I was overseas with him he was a captain. I worked with him in the office of DCOS Ops when he was a commandant MA to Major General Tony McKenna and I was the sergeant. He's left in the corner now in J35. Brilliant bit of stuff. You know he's been a quiet influence in my career as well, commandant Ronan Lamb. There's loads of people. And then externally then in, you know, my best friend, right, my best friend in the recovery circles is a fellow from... Kelly Bags called Patty Kenny. He's a Civvie. He's about my only Civvie friend. I'm only joking. he, we've walked, he's 18 years off, I'm 17 years. We've walked a path together. He's a great bit of stuff. then obviously, currently at the moment, I have a mentor in Texas, Joe McFadden. He's a good egg too and helps me a lot. You know, got me through a tough time when my dad died there a year and a half ago. And by New York Billy Moore as well. So again, the list is endless. You know, even your own CS, Mick McKeown, brilliant bit of stuff. Worked closely with me when I was a gunner, corporal, mentored me the whole way up. So I'm spoiled, right? I'm spoiled. have, say, the hundred people I could list here now that have quietly or loudly influenced me in some way, chef. Would you look back and say... the job we're in, boating, to have a support network that we have, do think that's a positive? Like, cities don't understand it. Like, I think in the army, you have everything. You have the tough love, you have the teddy bear, you have everything, and you talked about your uncle being a one-liner. Sometimes one-liners are enough. One-liners save your life. A good one-liner can save your life, because it's even the name of your podcast, On Your Own Time. You hear that. Come on now, lads. On Your Own Time now. That means that we're going to cram 10 hours work into 40 minutes. We're getting up there. It's index. We're going to that. You know, so I bless, like, I don't see the defense force as a job. I genuinely, I would do it for free. And I know that irritates people. The fact that they pay me is a bonus. And that's part of the enthusiasm. I met a deal with myself when I got through all that madness. in 2008, 2009 and when I got that conviction overturned to a 200-year fine, I made a deal with myself. I remember standing in the court, steps of the court. Remember the judge says to, know, David Fitzpatrick was another man, a sergeant at the time, gave me a character reference in the court that time. The judge's final words would echo with me. I'll never forget them. I can recite them right here. said, due to the outstanding character reference given by a man that has served over two decades in the defense court, I feel it only justified to give this young man a second chance. 200, you are a fine. Get out of my court. That was from a 12 month prison sentence. I was gone. My job was gone. Everything was gone. I was sober about a year and half at that time when that final decision was made. And I think that that was a huge help to me as well. plus I had the bags packed and I was ready to go to prison. I had fully accepted whatever the outcome was going to be. And I went up to the judge that time to go 450s and I gave them to him. he said, oh, no, no, no, Mr. Pintin, you don't pay me. I said, your honor, take it. Because as God is my witness, I'll never be back in here again. That was a huge turning point. I made a decision. Whatever the defence forces asked me to do, I'm going to do it. I'm going do it with an annoying degree of enthusiasm as well. Because the word enthuse means to be possessed of a God. That's what it means. The whole word needs to be possessed of a God. And I approach everything today with an annoying sense of enthusiasm. We actually had a conversation before we started recording here, but... people talking about you and people having an opinion on what you do and what you say. And the two of us have the exact same reaction. So talk to me as far as, like you're talking about annoyance about people like the army, you're all about not getting paid and stuff like that. So what does that mean? What does that mean to you? Well, see, nothing is either good or is it bad. Just is it is. I've just recently finished a book called The obstacle is the way. So the problem is this. It's my perception is the problem. So if somebody has a problem with me and how I do business, it would be a preference that they wouldn't talk about me. It would be a preference that they wouldn't sit in the mess and cut the back off me. It would be a preference that they wouldn't concern themselves with what my career moves are. Well, it's an emotionally charged preference. me to demand them to be any other way than the way they are, which is a breeding ground for resentment, which actually leaves me in pain. It's a wise man once said, it's like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. It's just, if somebody wants to do that. course on because I'm going to march to the beat of my own drum. I've been doing it since I was 21 years of age in the defense forces and it has paid off. I was lucky enough to get promoted to the rank of senior NCO at 37 years of age which means that if I want I can serve to 62 and I'm qualified to be a regimental sergeant major. I'm not ready. I don't think I'm ready. Maybe a bit of acting, don't know. But I think one of the biggest changes I've seen in the last couple of years, and I was a victim of this too, and was actually talking about it this morning with people, is promoting people too early has a negative impact. Because the senior NCOs course, I spoke to the last senior NCOs course as the past student. I said to them, this course will not teach you how to be a company sergeant. will qualify you to be a sergeant major. If you don't know how to be a company sergeant at this stage of your career as a senior sergeant, then you're in bottom. That's exactly what I said. So you need experience. you know, I was five years as a sergeant, which is short enough, but relevant enough to move on. Well, my biggest regret. And I've often said this to people is I didn't spend long enough as a corporate. And that was a byproduct of aggressive enthusiasm, ability to say, yeah, I do that. Yeah, I go there. I struck in Dublin for nine months. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do this course. I just I was on autopilot. Went overseas a lot. Just kept saying yes. And eventually I got to rub it a green and got on the standard course very early and not as early as what's happening now. But again, it'll remain to see whether that's positive thing or not. But I personally feel like being a corporal is one of the most exciting things in the defence force. You're instructing people, you're the strategic corporal, you're the link between... You're the busiest man. Yeah, you're the link between what needs to be said and what needs to get done. And I didn't spend long enough in that rank. That's one of my biggest regrets. So if anyone, for me, that's looking at this, that's at the rank of corporal, take a knee, take on some water and enjoy it. Have you seen much changes in the defence force over your time? Yeah, well, I've seen barric closures. Like I was in Mullingar for six years and, you know, that's no dwelling on the past. You know, and I've said this out loud, I've had the moral courage to say this out loud loads of times. I don't think that the restructure of the defence forces in 2012 was positive thing. There's nobody to blame for that. It was just a decision that was made based on the economic state of the country at the time. It's not a, we're not going to play the victim here. We're losing the old Fort Weston brigade was a bad idea. We had a lot of proud traditions in Fort Weston command. We had a great link between Mullingar, Longford, Atloan, Galway and Finner Camp. It was a huge traditional link there in the West, the Midwest of the country. And with the stroke of a pen that was gone. A very proud battalion in Cork, the Battalion, Ray Goggins Battalion, we all know Ray. So it's a great national treasure, in my opinion. And with the stroke of a pen, that battalion was gone just because it had a number four in it. And I think we are still not so much now. I think we're coming out the other end of it. But we licked our wounds for a long, long time as a result of them decisions. 16,000 people applied for the defense forces last year. That's astronomical. So that's positive. And numbers are up. Establishments are up. people are enthusiastic. What I would like to see, and this is the biggest change I've seen, is the participation in sports. It's heartbreaking. I mean, when I was at Gossam, in I remember being pulled out of a scratch one time myself and Jack Maher to go hurling for the brigade and we were unpopular with the platoon but off we went our merry way to hurl for the brigade and we were down at the hurling last week the air corps had to join with the defence forces with the centre at 11 aside level and I was talking to my granddad who's 90 years of age, a player sergeant major, said, god that's shocking. says one time the courthouse had 14 or 15 teams, the air court had two or three and there'd be county horrors on them. So deterioration, athletics is practically non-existent. shop, puth, javelin. heard the other day there was a soccer parade in the barracks and six people showed up and 25 people went map reading. You know, one time, as a fellow joke, he says, I wouldn't care if they put me as the corner flag. If it was a soccer parade, we're going on it. And we had great times in Mullingarra, playing soccer over the camp field. So last year was the first year, I think, that Sixth Battalion and the regiment had to withdraw from the Cunningham Cup. Couldn't fulfill the teams. From me being former Sixth Battalion, The Cunnighan Cup was major, it was the former winners, like they've won it multiple times. Same with the Regiment, the Regiment are the savages as well. But I think it's on a, they're back playing again this year obviously, so hopefully it's different this year. Yeah, but that starts at a grassroots level. Obviously you need the senior NCOs to drive it on. you say that sport is an inaugural part of being a soul. Like playing on a team. I like that I wasn't a great soccer player, I wasn't a great Gaelic player, I wasn't a great hurrer. ⁓ I participated. I loved it. I just loved being in team sports. It was huge and you grow and you meet other people and there's tradition. Now, having said that about the hurling as well, even though... We've had to amalgamate commands and we've had to amalgamate teams and barracks and stuff like that. It was still a great competition. Well ran, some great hurling, a couple of the Glickanney Inter-County lads were playing because obviously they were out with a championship, which usually wouldn't happen at this time of the year. So was great to see the likes of Richie Reed. Now it wasn't great to play against him. He scored maybe 2-6 or 2-7 in first gear. But it's wonderful to see. what opportunities for someone who as it was a junior cornerback at best, right? And I get to hurl alongside Richie Reed, Richie Kyo, Paul Murphy, all these guys. It was phenomenal. know, Owen Larkin in the past when he was hurling. But same with the soccer, like we're talking about Coney and Coppa. But look at the men's DF football team and the females' DF football team. The both went to the CISMS and performed well in the CISMS. There's one fellow there, Colin Barber, and his referee committee. Same with the male and the females. The time, I actually had this conversation many times. The time that they put into sports in the DF is incredible. And he's another guy can add to my list. Great guy. I worked with him. I remember picking him up from the airport in... ⁓ Israel and bringing him down to Occupy Golan on his first trip when he was lieutenant. I've worked with him along, he's coming out now. Brilliant bit of stuff. Man pours his heart and soul. You see on social media with the battalions out, Rube Mehertsein from Dublin. I seen him there, he was training one day, so he training with the DF football team. He was the OC over the recruits. He was on the hills with them. and then the next morning he was back doing football training again. There should be a Commodore Ritchie Barber in every corner of the defence force, in my opinion. Move on a small bit. So seeing Renciol, what does that mean to you and the history you within the defence force, your family history? My leadership style has changed a Anyone that's listening to me talk now and knew me as a corporal would laugh because I was wiry and was fired up. Like I said, I didn't have the experience and I didn't have the relevant experience and I made couple of questionable decisions. You know, I never- We all do. I never anything morally wrong. There's no mad mistakes. But looking back now, as a senior NCO, you have to be more of a- human resources manager. So obviously I'm a big man in the rank in the rank structure, the chain of command, the Romans invented it for a reason. It works. Use it. And what because of my life experience, I know the difference between who needs a kick up the ass who needs a panda. OK, there's very little distance between kicking the ass. Because of my life experience. Like you cannot have a black and white approach. As a senior enlisted leader, you have to be able to fluctuate your leadership style based on your leadership. And that's non-negotiable. You cannot take the command-hand approach to every single person. It just doesn't work. even if someone has a problem with a drink, that hack goes on for me. Into the office, sit down, tell me. And I explained to them about the stuff I talked to you about at start and see do they match their mental inconsistencies with mine. Do you know what I mean? And then on the flip side, if there's a lad who is tactically and consistently performing below the required standard. then he just needs to be administrated properly when it comes to signing on he won't get signed on. You know what mean? you can't, Sergeant Major Dave Riley gave me a great acronym on CIA, control, influence, accept. Can I control the situation? Can I influence the situation? Or do I just have to accept it? is. How do you balance ministry life for family life? You want to ask my wife that question. I'd say like her, wife, it kills me the whole thing from the way, but like you're busy, busy like. Well, I'm busy and I'm based in Paldonnell now, which is an hour and 50 minutes. You know, I'm lucky enough. I, I, the job I'm in at the moment, I can work from that long a few days a week, which is grand takes me to pressure off family life, which is great, which is another massive change I've seen in the defence forces for the good. And I believe that if you have a company of men, you need to tug out every day. You're an Indian administration role. can work it remotely, as long as the job gets done. no, it's grand. Like the family home, I have to work hard on not being the CS in that. It's very hard being a flight sergeant in the Air Corps, coming from a proud military family. My wife. is not a pregnant daughter, she's not a carpenter, even though she comes from an army family, she doesn't understand how, you know, we have to be somewhere at nine o'clock. and it's an hour drive, we're leaving at 7. She's looking at me like, this is insanity, but that's just the way I'm where. So sometimes I need to relax. And if we miss our timings, it's not the end of world. I'm not going to be charged by some growly sergeant major. It's okay in the family home. The thing with the children is, and they probably have a different experience than how I see it is, the number one goal for me being a father is never forget what it feels like to be a child. I suffered a lot as a child. I was always up in my head, insecure, was small and fat as well. I'm not too far behind that today. But I had really rough time as a child, a really rough time in national school. You know, one teacher in particular left a lasting effect. But as a wise man once told me, there are two things you need to know about your childhood. It was long, and it's over. Move on. You can't be living in victimhood or poor me, poor me, why did this happen to me sort of thing. It definitely shaped how I view the world and dealt with human race. Trying to balance that, again, it helps that my wife comes from a military family. Her dad, David Marcox, laid in service there a years ago. great bit of stuff. One of the best drivers the Defence Force has ever had. He turned a truck into a 50 pence piece. Just on that story, right? And we talked about this beforehand. and what a sound man and what a legend. I've actually seen him, they've been up in transport, come down and some drivers can't get the truck in the gate. He'd have to go down and drive the truck in the gate. He was a great man. I remember one particular, we went to, it on weekend, we were sent off to, I was on unprivate, we were sent off to somewhere in Ballymore or something, you go, so you go direction. It was a big fun day on. And he had, on the back of Lowlera, he had an LTAF, okay, and we were the security party. That man drove that truck with an LTAF on the back of it. The FFR could barely keep up with him. Yeah, just tell her. I'm not a bother to him but like he's such he was such a magazine because those guys were serious work horses and I was lucky enough to have a trip overseas with Mark which was brilliant you know it's a treasured memory of mine I was a private he was a water truck driver and I used to do shotgun with him. were you with the wife as Yeah I just met Lisa. He was giving you old warning. Thank you we used to call him. There were great times he just asked me one thing we were overseas that time. He says to me, will you just look after him? And, well, look, I'm not the easiest person to live with. My wife will tell you that. But I think I've done that. I think I've, I would like to think that if he came back down from heaven and said, sound, you're on course, you're looking after him. You know, and. It's not easy for a military family. We're used to going to your wife and saying, I'm deploying overseas for six months. These are my dates for the farm up. I've been gone for three months. I'll see you in the evening time. She's the commanding officer in the house. She has to get school runs. She has get sandwiches. All of this stuff, lunches, everything. We think we have it hard because we're on the road and we're off doing LFTT or whatever we're doing. Running the house is a hard job. It's actually the hardest thing you can do. Give me a life-hack or a training exercise any day. Absolutely. So in terms of the GAA, what role does play in your life? I know recently we've been mapped through Hectic, but in general? Last night I was in umpire at a Division 6 final. I see the picture of it. Then at the weekend I was... and water distribution engineer as Bobby Boucher would say. Look, in military terms, my job with Westmead the last couple of months was platoon runner. Whatever Mark McHugh wanted, he gave me the nod. I looked after the GPSs. I didn't have a table at the seat at the decision making table, God. It was the pressure that was on those bodies. But Mark's a good friend of mine and he rang me. Last October, I said, look, I have a job for you there. I'm looking after the GPS's and a few other bits. I said, what do want me to do exactly? says, whatever I ask you to do. And I said, yeah, I'm there. I'm in. I mean, I remember the first day we were in training, if you had said to me that day, fasten your seat belt there, kid. We're about to go on a believable journey. I always said you were insane. I we had a good Auburn Cup campaign. We kicked a winning score in the last minute. Luke Lockwood, legend, right? Only Auburn Cup, Westmead hadn't won it in a few years. They hadn't won it that much in their, in their, in their, lifetime anyway. They won it in 1988. think they've it a couple of times since but winning the Auburn Cup was a big deal and it's well organised, friendly and then we went into the league campaign. We'd have good run in the league and six seconds to go down in Wexford Park, we lost the game. We to ball away, quick out, quick kick out, ball went in, fell half volley, back in the net, don't get promoted. And I mean... Talk about alone, talk about being depleted, talk about being shell shocked, right? I remember sitting down there that time I was collecting the GPS's, 21 minutes, nobody spoke a word. Then we were off for a weeks. we went into the LensStore campaign. The LensStore campaign, think someone told me last night, Jason from the Loaf of Bread podcast said that we were the highest scoring LensStore campaign of all time. Which is fascinating. And I said it on Instagram yesterday, I would follow Mark McHugh to outer Mongolia with not only a snowpack jacket and the makings of a cup of tea under me arm. He just, the standard that that man set within that set up, like I am so honored. So I'll never be able to repay him for bringing me in there. Never. Because I know that I wouldn't have been there without Mark. You know, because the boys have the set up and they have their way of going on. They have everything in place. Mark brought me in and I'll never be able to repay him for that experience. It was absolutely incredible. And talk, the other thing I want to mention is the panel of men, the players. I'm heading to overseas soon. God, I'm just waiting on the deployment date. Even the last six trips that I've done, there's not one single young fella or person or man on the Westmead set up players and ⁓ coaching staff and background team that I wouldn't take over season. That's a fact. Just the professionalism, the way they approach the year, everything that was laid out for them, they just did it and I was just in it. It's very hard to nail it down in one sentence. So from a senior NCO point of view to Mark, so leadership qualities, is there much of a difference? Mark fluctuates between his leadership style based on who he's talking to. He doesn't know that. He's not aware of that. He's just natural to him. He is a football genius. He comes from a football dynasty. His dad is a gentleman. I've had the privilege of meeting his brother. So it's natural for Mark. He instinctively knows where to be on a football field. And he's instilled that in the lads. The lads would do, they'd run through a brick wall for the players. He just in Sid Lappalee flight, you know, where he just, there was an article in the, it's actually stuck to my fridge at home. There was an article in the Westmead Examiner back in November, 2025. The head in his picture mark took over the job. The head in his, why not Westmead? Like, why not? Like who gives a loud the right to win a Leicester championship ahead of Westmead? Who gives me the right to be in a oil and semi-final ahead of Ahead of Westmead? Why not Westmead? Why can't we be dining at the top table of Gaelic football? It's mad, isn't it? Because I'm not a JAA back. I don't follow JAA, but it's like we jump on the bandwagon. So when you start with me, start performing well, we're Jesus, actually, I've heard for years, they're terrible. But it's incredible for what they've achieved this year. And to bring it to Pairs Park, like Pairs Stadium, like I've, of Ireland. So I had the privilege of actually being on a match, soccer match, Galway United played, there you see Pairs Park. I was like, first time, actually the second time I actually stood in that stadium was the first time I was out here in the country. But I stood in there and I was like, my God. And there was like, think it's like, Only 4000 soccer players, soccer fans are. And one of the one of the expected one of the sure it turns me and says, if you think this is amazing, you should have seen Westmead last last year. Twenty five. Twenty five thousand. He said they were mad. We see this what happens. Winning breeds this when you're winning. And what I would say to anybody who was a Westmead person and bear in mind now, I was in that lawn. ⁓ like in 1995 with my father, he scored three points from play. A very, very good Westme team, a very strong Westme team with some great players, scored three points from play. My father smoked 40 major on the way home and didn't talk for two days. So I'd been brought to Westme games, up and down the country, win, or draw, I'd been following them. I remember when they won the minor in 95 and the county went bananas. I mean bananas. Won an under 21 then in 99. Bet Kerry, a solid Kerry team, lot of big names on that Kerry team. And then obviously with audio she is here and something I carry with me all the time. But in sobriety and in life and in the army is that saying from Pottie where he says a grain of rice will tip the scale. And that's even with mental health. A grain of rice will tip the scale. You have to be on top of this stuff. You know, for me, my dad passed away a year and a half ago, like, tipped me over and I became, you know, very lost, like very lost with a lot of years of sobriety under my belt. Very, very lost. had a huge effect on me. So a grain of rice would tip the scale, all he said in 2004. And then winning the Lensner and God, you know, I wasn't planning to talk about this, but I suppose we talk about belief and we talk about the universe creating opportunities for you and things that happen in your life. I just staying alive and doing the right things. why I got the opportunity to go in and had the experience I've had working with the lads the last, the last couple of months. 2004, I was in Croagh Park with ⁓ Shane Powell, a friend of mine, we underage football together in Ireland. He deflected to our noisy neighbours, he transferred to Clamkeal, but we're forgiven for that. But we played Gaelic football, myself and Shane were side by side. the final whistle when Dairanogh wanted a picture of Grab the player. Shane Ranogh What's that? said it's the match ball. Now, I'm not joking, right? At least once, if not twice a month, in last 22 years, I've been sitting somewhere quietly, fishing at a lake, or bouncing on a door, or driving detail, or having a coffee, whatever, somewhere. And I would think about that moment where he came up to me with the match ball, and I would say, why didn't you think of that? Why didn't you go and get that ball? And I honestly had that regret. And when the Hooper went in the Leinster final, I was running out onto the pitch and this talk came into my head. Match ball. Match ball. And I ran down to Evan Cumberford and he kicked, obviously the ball in his hand, he getting ready for a kick out, the Hooper went. He kicked the ball into the goals in temper. And the final ball that was in play, the Leinster final, came rolling out to me like a rose petal. It be foot under and make it go. And I ran back in. I all the boys to sign it. Gifted it to Mark McHugh as a gift. And the reason I did that, that was the most important inanimate object I ever owned. For the brief time that I owned it. And the reason I gave it to Mark was, number one, his dad has the football from the 92-year-old era, which is nice. I gave it him because I'd never be able to repay him for what he gave me. And I know I might sound soppy here, some people might be looking at this going, It was to be in that circle. To have the jersey on you, be sitting in the dugout with the boys and match day, just soaking in the energy. To see what it's done for the people of Westmead as well. And I suppose that was the point I was getting at, is that I would ask people to never forget this feeling. stick with Westmead because we're like we're on a journey as a county you know and we're no longer going to be the punch bags. Savage and Mike sitting in the dressing room after winning the Lensar what was the leak? Well my favourite part was when Maddy, Matthew Whittaker dumped a big bucket of ice over Mark's head. It was inexplainable like we were sitting there and because Mark Mark told the lads we were going to win that stuff. He instilled that belief in us. That we were going to win that stuff. And I remember when the Hoover went in normal time, sending Baker's score, the equalizing point. I him what was going through your head. He if I had of the ball earlier I would kicked over a 2.2. That's what he said to me. Just cold blooded. Brilliant. Very professional young man. But I remember the hooter went and there was no bells and whistles like we were in a normal time. was quiet enough lads were getting electrolytes into them. Lads were getting a couple of rolls or whatever. There just, there was a quiet stillness in the dress room. don't it Emma or Mark or someone, I remember someone saying, we're not leaving Pro Park without that car. Get out there and we'll back it. And what that Westmead team done. that Dublin team in extra time. was astronomical. You were underdogs, were you? Underdogs? We were 6-1 by the Buckees. We were 6-1 against me, I think 4-1 against Killear. No one gave us a chance. All the punditries, you look back over the clips, nobody gave us a chance. The mighty Dubs, you know. Like people saying Dublin didn't play well at the of the year. Dublin, Dublin are all Ireland core final. Look at the selection they I would argue that there is no such thing as a bad Dublin team. There's no such thing as a bad degree. They're an all-Ireland quarterfinal now. They're after beating Donegal, who are classed as one of the all-Ireland favorites. The Vision 1 champions. So, the shift the lads put in, in injury time to get that win. And then with that who or when, it's just inexplainable. What was the trend, what was the physical trend like for that? Like we're talking about, come from a football background, know a pre-season Nike, I know the late referee trend is like, but they're different, really. Well, you can't hide in a Gaelic football team. You cannot hide. In the modern game, it's all about your legs doing the work. I won't say too much about the type of training that we're doing. I was lucky enough to ⁓ work alongside the strength and condition coach with some of the gym sessions and different things I got to do. I would say here now that Tom Ribbon from Armat is one of the most professional. including strength and conditioning coaches I've ever worked with. And that's going to all the PTIs, and we were PTI yourself, and there's loads of lads, Mitch, really a bit of stuff. This guy, if you took Tom and said, right Tom, you're now the Sergeant Major over at depot, training depot, he would just fit in there. He was so good. Every decision he made based on what the lads done with the GPS data. He was just so professional. His standards were so high. And just to observe that from the sideline was brilliant. I learned an awful lot from Tom and then complimented by the leadership work that Gerry Duffy was doing as well. Brilliant bit of stuff too. So it was just, was the collective bubble. Everybody played a part. So there's more to come from Mass Media now? Well, watch the space. That's all I'd say. You taught me about New York. second home I love New York talking about that. want to give two lads a shout out before we move on to New York because I didn't mention them. Two lads I worked very closely with Paddy Walsh and Fergie Dardas. Fergie was the water distribution engineer. Bobby Boucher. Paddy was the head kit man. And just those two lads, the crack we had, ⁓ we had our own little bubble and we we set up the restroom, we set up the warm-ups and all that. gelled off each other and Paddy of course was my underage coach. Just I wanted to give the boys a shout out because their dedication and their professionalism to Westmead, GAA and football in particular is immeasurable. The Westmead set up are so lucky to have those two boys. And I think people forget that. think people forget the work, the back, the stuff the people do in the background. Like I have a mate as a kit man. The amount of work they do, at that level they're talking about. fairbreds and what to do and I don't think people get and give them enough credit you know. New York. New York City. The greatest place on planet. I've been there 12 times. think deep down if I wasn't in the army I'd be living there. It's a great GAA community out there. I said at the start I have a good friend out there, Billy Moore. have another good friend there at the moment, Murta. Brendan Murta's daughter. played for Westmead. She's a very good friend of mine, Amy. She's out there at moment. I just love the place. There's just something about it. It's buzz isn't it? It's savage. You can go in any direction and it's like being in a different place. Like you can sit in Times Square if you want, watch all the people go by. You can go down to the West Village and have a coffee. Go down to the East Village and have a bagel. Go down to Little Italy and have a pasta. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, up to Gaelic Park in the Bronx. McLean Avenue is like a little town in Ireland. You know it's just, it's a savage place. I've been there a few times. I had the pleasure of being there a couple of times myself. And I actually said to Michaela, my wife, of all the places I went to my holidays, like to Caribbean and all that stuff, I love New York. I just love the atmosphere around it. like I probably probably wasn't in half the places, not even 5 % of the places you were in, but even the popular tourist spots. It's amazing. Yeah, it's the top class. We were walking down the East Village one time, myself and Buddy Paddy. We met Bill Burr, a comedian. And all he wanted to do was talk to us about the troubles in ordinary. He was fascinating and a fan. and I'd say now thinking back we went into Cat's Diner for a sandwich if we asked him to come into Cat's Diner what was that day he would have come in he was just loved the Irish history and all the stories about Bill is a very funny guy that's the type of things that happen in New York you know and he walking down was crossing the street one time in Times Square and bumped into a fella sat beside a national school but you know it's just I was on a train there recently and got a chat to these two guys, two construction workers and the boys were over there working and the man says to me, where are from? I said, I'm from Mullingar and he saw my wife has a friend from Mullingar, he's in the army. I said, what's his name? He said, I don't know his second name but his first name is Noel. I said, who's your wife? And Tommy's wife's name, Maggie. I that's actually me, dude. Do you know what? like that's in lower Manhattan on the four train going up to the Bronx, one o'clock in the day, the chances of that. And it's just, those are kind of, and then the food, like, know, well, it's just, there's just something about it. Definitely. Definitely. We'll go back there. So what achievements are you most proud of in your life? My family. My wife and three kids are little home, even though it's in that loan. I would like them all to get it, be really honest. But nailing that down, three kids, trying to influence them, trying to set the standard for them. when they do get old enough that they see that it's important to contribute to life. It's important to have a career or a job or, you know, be of service and those type of principles in the house. Not to be out for yourself, you know, help people where possible. So I would say to family, I don't regard sobriety as an achievement, which is quite funny to say, because it is an achievement. It is a huge achievement, Well, I just try to keep that. back to that moment when I left my last drink, that something larger took place in my life, something unexplainable, something that I cannot put words to, showed up in my life and changed the way I lived. And values, personal values. So what personal values are non-negotiable? Integrity. Integrity. Yeah. And character. So we talked about it at start. Defense force values are a savage guiding principle, right? I mean, look, you can pull 25 values out of them. You could mush them all into one. But as a guidance principle, like when we were getting the PowerPoints on, it the new thing in the defence force posters everywhere. I thought it was quite funny that we were making a big deal out of these new words. Like, why wouldn't you want to live your life like that? So having integrity is important, right? what I was talking to you about when my dad passed away. My dad away coming up on two years ago. I had this thing called a second cylinder. I call it darkening the soul. Some people react to grief differently. I went into Sarge Major mode when my dad passed during the funeral. And I could plan, I could organize, could keep people in line, I could dress people properly, I knew where the coffin needed to be. I wrote the eulogy. I was in my happy place when I was in there. When all was said and done, and there was nothing left, only a bunch of flowers and a pile of dirt that it wouldn't cross in a graveyard in Delvin. my best friend, that I love so much and hung out with and traveled around the country with and around the world with. And it was gone in an instant, like the flick of a switch. My dad was 60 years of age, took a massive heart attack, like a light switch, gone. It was after that I started filling that emptiness with spending money I didn't have. which is a A trail of T-MU packages coming in, in the door, know. Stuff that I didn't need. Working three jobs, staying out all night, seeking that kind of comfort rather than character. So there's a guiding principle I have, is choose character over comfort. I haven't always done that. I've learned that the hard way. is that sometimes we choose comfort and we pay me now or pay me later. You will pay for that. But if you choose character, which is the principle that action irrespective of how you feel, just do the right thing. And if you don't know what the next right thing is, just do the next thing in front of your right. And so that's I hit a wall and that's when I got in contact with this mentor that I talk about. This guy is helping me in Texas, John McFadden. Shout out to Joe because he's a great guy. He gave me series of questions to fill out. The questions are low key enough, like what things are coming up from the past that you find are causing you difficulty. Just simple enough little questions. It all that stuff I was talking about. Spending money I didn't have, working three jobs, 15 commitments in the GA, I trying to outrun this void. Staying in work until seven or eight o'clock in the evening. going from work straight to another job, delivering pizzas, working on the doors, whatever, know, training 25 teams. I remember I sent the questions on to John, he rang me and he said, why do think you're doing these things? I said, ⁓ my dad died and, you know, I'm a bit lost and a bit stuck. And I gave him a litany of excuses. And what he said to me next saved my life. He said, you're doing these things because you have no character, no integrity. And you either stop doing them right now or you can go and have a conversation with someone else. Because I don't help people. Now he's later said to me that he was so glad there was an ocean between us when he said it. He said that to me when I met him in Belfast. some people say that that hurt. It hurt their feelings. Feelings are not facts. I needed tough love in that situation. And he then educated me that I needed to start living the principles that were guiding me up to the point where my dad died. honesty, selflessness, service, all of this stuff. I need to start living that again. And I need to start aggressively practicing it in homes, occupations, and affairs. In the family home, he's given me a task to be the least disturbed person in the room, to try and inflict that lack of disturbance on people around me. and then automatically assume I'm wrong until I speak to him. No matter what it is, just automatically assume I'm wrong until I speak to him or someone else to give me a second opinion or something. I remember one time I was sharing with him that, you know, was getting annoyed with my wife, holding the dishwasher wrong, the floor's not swept. You know, it's the petty things. The school bags are in the way. Again, was straight shooter. George was saying to me, stop bullying your wife. He said, if Prime Mike Tyson was in your house, what would you say to him? He'd say nothing. He'd say, you like me to load the dishwasher, Let me sweep the floors, Mike. So it's all a matter of perception. say, I lose my temper or something. It's just hard. No, it's easy. It's very easy. You just let loose. But that's what I was doing in the family home. So he's helped me an awful lot. Then in work as well. changing the leadership style. We don't have to be Gunnery Sergeant Hartman all the time because we know what happened to at the end of the movie. Halfway through the movie he got shot in the chest. So you don't have to be that guy. You can be that guy sometimes, the one-liners have the crack. And then affairs, right? So your friendships, you need to be an example of integrity, honesty, character, organization. be approachable, all of this stuff, which is new language, to learn when you're used to doing things. Changes. So we talked about my name of the podcast on your own time, a military aspect. And I explained to you at the start, it is a military kind of term. But time on your own time, like living in the past, being a great being like being a person at home and you found 10 jobs to fill your space. Time is something that you'll never get back. Time keeps moving. And as long as you're in your head, time must keep moving. And that's the way we do it. That's the reason I named it that because I think it's a very interesting topic and a very interesting name. only thing that stays the same and consistent is that everything changes. That's the only thing. And your time is like, I've, you know, sitting up in my granddad's house with him now, he's not well, you know, he's coming near the end of his life. He's 90 years of age. He's sitting in the chair, he's accepted it gracefully. And I am so lucky that I've had 30-age years with that man. He's a Congo vet, retired sergeant major. I joined the Army, the advice he gave to me is remember he says a good private thing through the neck down. And I said to him one Sunday, I'll never forget, said, Larry, you wouldn't show me how to pull my boots, you know? And he said, no, I wouldn't, but I'll inspect them on Sunday evening before you go back down. Never lost out on Saturday, really. I loved it. What advice would you give someone, young people today to join the Defence Force? ⁓ Don't be afraid to volunteer for stuff. Don't be afraid to develop. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Surround yourself with good people. The best thing about the defence forces is its people. The worst thing about the defence forces is its people. So surround yourself with good people. plenty of people sitting in the locker room giving bad advice. Don't fall into that trap. Surround yourself, pick a couple of sergeants, a couple of senior NCOs, a couple of corporals that you like how they do business, you like how they carry themselves, you like how they lead, and you take a little piece from every one of them and you start developing your character. you just, you participate. The guy have a leadership philosophy, it's not easy to live up to at times. ⁓ But. We were asked to design one on our standard course a few years ago and I sat down and gave it a bit of thought and gave it a bit of time. It's do your job above and beyond the required standard. Lead by example, never drive by mandate. Demand that standard from the people around you. Always lead by example, unless the mission or the task has been compromised and sometimes you need to just. and everybody has to this done. above all, the guiding principle is never, ever forget what it feels like to wear three-stars. I think if you do those things, or if you design your own kind of principles around that, you don't have to be regimental about it. It doesn't have to be a guiding thing. just has to you have to be conscious of that. You know, how would I like to be approached if the tables were turned? Do know what I mean? Like, is there someone, because... We're seeing a lot of lads that were reenlistors at the moment, right? And they mightn't have had a great start to their career. But they're coming back in now and they're a brilliant bit of stuff. They've degrees of enthusiasm. They're looking for jobs because they know what it's like to go back out and dip your toe in the water in civilian street. fact, there's a lot to be said for the defence forces. Absolutely not. What do you hope your legacy will be? I doubt what they're going to name a barracks after me. What I would like people to say is that fellow was crazy, he done his job. He was funny, great man for one liners or whatever, but he done his job. would like people to say that fellow done his job. Because I think if everybody in the defense forces just done their job. I'll go honest is working on this day. Join your boat. Press your uniform. Answer every question. Yes. Based on who the person is asking. we're going to finish off a free funny questions. OK, so if you were arrested tomorrow, what would your family assume you done? The rest of tomorrow. Talk when I should have been listening. What's the most useful talent you have? I'm not a great golfer but I can hit the ball. We can come back to that. Think about that, okay? If you could swap lives with anybody for 24 hours, who would it be in my? in the current time or in the past? Anything. Anyone. Elvis, Elvis. Yeah. Why? Because before anyone done anything Elvis done anything. I think being Elvis, any type of Elvis. Whether it was Las Vegas Elvis. I think I'd like to be the 68 comeback special Elvis for a day. All right. What's the strangest thing you've ever spent your money on? These are curve balls. You're sending T-MU to hold on T-MU packages. T-MU packages. I have a Forrest Gump Alabama State Jersey at home. 44 Gump on the back. ⁓ 1s. It's a dust collector. You didn't get that in Tmoo did I did yeah, Tmoo yes. Just see that new crazy route, tax coming in in July. No. They're charging three euros per item so it's a tax coming in so every item you get is going to be three euros. I need to stay away from Tmoo Packages. I'm the same so don't worry. You're a crippler for me. So we both keep away from them. If your friend subscribed you in three words what would they say and what would they say after a few points doesn't really rectify it. What would they say after? Well I have people that If I drank a few points, there would be no one talking to me if I drank a few points. We've changed the question, So if you're out with friends, so you obviously have friends that drink a few points, okay? Yeah. So think of your best friend. Yeah. Okay, so think of three words you would best describe him after a few points. Him or she. Well, he doesn't drink. Oh, Jesus. My best friend doesn't drink. Okay, so the wife. The wife, he told her. What three words that would describe my wife when she's she's been drunk about three times in the 14 years I've been with her. But she's ⁓ She's kind. She's normal. OK. Yeah, like normal. The normality of my wife's existence is frightening. OK, we talked about Mick McCaw, my boss. we get him in here. We get him a question here. Same kind of question. So after a few points, how would you best describe him? Mick? He definitely doesn't buy the points anyway. Oh, well, I don't know about that. He hasn't bought me a pint. And all the times I've been around Mick, I've never seen him change. You know, he doesn't like I've seen him drunk. was at his wedding. Mick doesn't change. Oh, he gets slightly more jolly than he is, you know, at times. Mick is good to be around. I shared a room with Mick for six months in Lebanon. Looking back, it was a pleasure. the place we were, the doors we were rattling on the locker mixes. First day, we took off the doors. And then he was friendly with the engineer CQ and he got a couch, a two seater couch into our room. yeah, Mick doesn't change. is solid. You're sending all the regiment lads over to us. We've Martin Quinn there as well. Oh, it's Fifth Battery, And then we have the CO. Yeah. And don't forget Johnny. Johnny Barlett. They took a back office. Oh, did they? It's just that full of it. He's actually a bit of stuff. And that's back to, we talked about the reenlisters, like, you know, Johnny left the time I came in. so I would have, you know, he's back in now. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. He's not too gentle. But that's what you want. And then we've Rory Milton. Yeah, Rory will be a good He's a gunner as well. I guess we've second home over there, isn't it? Hardly a spot for me, is there? There is. Jesus. Mick, he's watching. Yeah. Last one. On a pizza, pineapple. Yes or no? No way. No? I don't know. It's a of my wife, Peter. I should I eat pizza? It's pineapple. No, no. It's criminal acts. In fact, it's a charge of defence. 168 Conduct don't become. And what's your go-to food if you had to get a takeout? What's your go-to food? I think it's the king meal. you go to a Chinese, chicken breast curry. And where would it be in a clover? Gia Gia. You get your chicken breast, curry sauce, fried rice, chips. I've had the same order for 35 years. every time I go to a Chinese, I will not order anything else. Occasionally I'll bend and I'll order a chicken curry, egg fried rice and chips separately and I'll put them all in one plate. But the king go to meal is the formula. Oi Noelie, we had a very interesting talk, spent an hour and a half here. talking, talking and very interesting stories and I know you're a busy man and thanks very much for joining me today. We'll touch base again I think in the next few episodes. Your episode 3's were really, you're really popping my cherry. Thanks very much buddy. Thanks very much for everything and I wish you, actually one more thing. Where do you see yourself in five years time? Where do I see myself in five years time? I see myself, the risk of selling in a bit cocky, I see myself as a regiment, as a major, somewhere in the defence forces. ⁓ The goal when joining the defence force, my nickname and recruitment actually was Major. That was because I lived in the shadow of my grandad's title a lot. I didn't know anything else about the Army, I just knew my grandad was a Major. Then the Sergeant Major at the time, John Toohey, would have ⁓ had great respect for my grandad and spoke to me about my grandad every time he met me. The boys, when you're recruiting, no one knows anything. Who's this fella talking about his grandad all the time? So the goal was always to reach that. to reach the rank of Sarge Major. So whether that's five years, whether that's 10 years. That's the That's the goal. The goal is to get that. have Grandad's cane at home. Would you have it or you use the cane? I will, yeah, 100%. And let it be no secret to anyone, when you see me come on DPM or... Number ones or twos, it'll be under me. OK. And the reason I asked that question, because I asked the same question, I don't know, you probably remember three or four years ago. Yeah. And you said to me, I will definitely be a CS or BS in the next few years. Yeah. And a flight sergeant, it's to say it's the equivalent of what it's the air core. Thank God the system is in place where we can move side by side with and stuff like that. I was traveling to Newbridge and working for Major General Tony McKenna. Occasionally I was in in the key twice or three times a month. for me to take the promotion in Baden-Onal was no brainer. Absolutely. Do you know what mean? And now I'm 14 months senior NCO. I've done a leadership course with the Luftwaffe in Germany, which was a savage experience. I wasn't long promoted and got selected for that. And I've done the first joint senior enlisted leaders course that was running the defense forces as well, was a a tough, tough task. say it out loud. with all the commitments I had going on with Westmead and different things, found it very heavy academically. But look, I plowed through what I got done, but I would have liked to have that course with no external, you know, no external things going on, definitely. But you see, you have to have this belief. It's back to what Jim McGinnis said to the Westmead guys when he was talking to them last year, when Mark, we done a thing up in Dunagall. Jim came in and spoke, spoke very well. I love Jim, think he's great. He said, hands up here who believes that Lout have more of a right to win a Leinster championship ahead of Westmeath. And that's not downgrading Lout. Lout are a phenomenal team. What they've done on an underage level and what they're doing as a county and how they're developing players is brilliant. we would consider ourselves on par, and we've proven that with the rest of Leinster in regards to football. and the big dogs in Leinster. So he asked that question. So you have to have that belief. And when I stood on the court steps and said, God is my witness, I'll never be back here again. And you know, bar three random traffic stops in the last 15 or 16 years, I've never had a interaction with the Irish state police. But when I was drinking, I was interacting with the Gardaí and Mullingar on a weekly basis. On a weekly basis. They knew you by your first name. 100 percent. was a disaster. Do you know what I mean? Fair play to you. We landed there, buddy. And thanks very much again, as I said. Very, very interesting episode. And I wish you the best of luck. hopefully next five years we'll see you as Sergeant Major somewhere. Thanks very much.