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It’s Not About Working Harder · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:01
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, 321, Welcome to the Missing Secret
• 0:06
  Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 0:08
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So, we got a great
• 0:11
  topic today, and here it is. It's not about working harder.
• 0:18
  So, Kelly, what do you think? Just an overview. What do you
• 0:22
  think about that?
• 0:23
  Kelly Hatfield: It's not about working harder. I can speak from
• 0:26
  personal experience, where I know this to be true. So I'm
• 0:29
  very excited to dive into this topic today, because my old
• 0:35
  mentality - yes, you have to work hard, you know, my old
• 0:39
  grind it out, you know, kind of mentality and everything. I
• 0:42
  found, you know, that I was actually working against way,
• 0:47
  way, way harder than I needed to. So I'm really excited to
• 0:50
  dive into this topic today.
• 0:52
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, how this came up. This is Fetty
• 0:55
  Little Personal Story. So I think I've told you this before,
• 1:01
  you know, on Thursday nights, Ginger and I go and do our own
• 1:06
  thing, like she does her thing, I do my thing, and oftentimes
• 1:11
  doing my own thing comes down to I'll take the Wall Street
• 1:15
  Journal and I'll go to a really nice restaurant, one of my
• 1:20
  favorite restaurants, and order what I want, and and read the
• 1:24
  Wall Street Journal, and I've been doing this for I don't know
• 1:28
  15 years, and so this this past Thursday I did a little
• 1:36
  slumming, and instead of going to a really nice restaurant, I
• 1:40
  went to Whataburger. Do you know what Whataburgers are?
• 1:44
  Kelly Hatfield: Uh, huh, yeah, I'm familiar with
• 1:46
  John Mitchell: They're pretty damn good.
• 1:47
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah,
• 1:48
  John Mitchell: It's, it's my favorite hamburger place. So, so
• 1:53
  I jump in my Lamborghini and drive to Whataburger, and I pull
• 1:58
  through an order, and then I get up to pay for it, and the high
• 2:04
  school kid goes, "Wow, that is a beautiful car, and I'm like,
• 2:10
  "Thank you, I feel very blessed to have it. And then the manager
• 2:15
  sticks his head out and goes, "Wow, so how does a person get a
• 2:21
  car like that? And I go hard work, just reactively hard work.
• 2:27
  So I get my food and I start to drive off, and I'm like, you
• 2:32
  know, I have given this guy exactly the wrong advice,
• 2:37
  because I worked harder than all my friends up to the age of 50,
• 2:43
  and this car and this wonderful life I'm blessed with did not
• 2:49
  come from hard work, it, it came from working smarter, obviously,
• 2:54
  and, but you know that that experience was so enlightening
• 3:00
  that my natural reaction was to say hard work, when that's
• 3:05
  exactly the opposite of of what it was, and I like what you
• 3:11
  said, that you know hard work is for a given, but but so you
• 3:16
  know, knowing your life like I know it, talk about the
• 3:21
  difference between working hard, working smart, and when did that
• 3:27
  happen, and just a little more context from your end.
• 3:32
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think that when you and I met nearly
• 3:43
  10 years ago, I think it's eight years ago, or so, when we met, I
• 3:49
  had really, in growing my business, had really, it was
• 3:53
  grinding it out, you know, it was long days, it was keeping
• 4:00
  everything, like being the go-to person in the business, a huge
• 4:04
  bottleneck that I created through, so it was just, it was
• 4:08
  working hard, and it was like all I knew to grow the business
• 4:12
  was that if I wanted to do that, I just needed to work harder, I
• 4:16
  just needed to, you know, so there was this whole mentality I
• 4:20
  had around that from my generation, and everything. It's
• 4:23
  like, if you want something, you just, you have to work hard for
• 4:26
  John Mitchell: Yeah
• 4:26
  Kelly Hatfield: It wasn't until I learned really about leverage,
• 4:29
  like I knew about leverage as it related to money, but I hadn't
• 4:34
  ever thought of it in terms of like how it related to my time,
• 4:38
  the actions that I was taking, you know, being more intentional
• 4:42
  about, you know, what I'm doing in my business to move the
• 4:46
  levers to, you know, so that I'm focused on the right things in
• 4:51
  my business to move the levers instead of everything, you know,
• 4:55
  you know, what are the right things, and so it wasn't until
• 4:59
  like really under. Standing, you know, leverage the science of
• 5:04
  success, and, like, how to use your brain, you know, to brain
• 5:08
  to focus on the right things and do the right things
• 5:11
  consistently. That the whole idea of working smarter, you
• 5:15
  know, came into play, where it was like, oh, this one thing
• 5:20
  that I do has all of these impacts, and what if this one
• 5:23
  thing I enhanced it by doing this. Oh my gosh, that opens up
• 5:28
  these other doors, you know. And so, you know, I don't know
• 5:32
  whether I'm really answering your question very well or not,
• 5:36
  but for me, no, I think so. It was transitioning from that kind
• 5:40
  of like grind it out, just either put more hours in, or if
• 5:44
  things aren't going as I'd wanted, it was just work harder,
• 5:48
  just work harder. Well, to the at the expense of everything in
• 5:53
  my life, you know. So, like, my having the exceptional life
• 5:57
  wasn't happening because I was focused and doing everything.
• 6:01
  Every, my world revolved around my businesses and work, you
• 6:05
  know, so it wasn't until I understood that concept of
• 6:09
  leverage, both from a science standpoint and your brain, and
• 6:13
  how to leverage my brain for my success, but then also to once I
• 6:17
  learned that, then my brain started to make all the
• 6:21
  connections, for like, okay, well, wait a minute. If I'm
• 6:25
  taking this one interaction with somebody that's related to
• 6:29
  business, where, like, going into that call shouldn't just be
• 6:33
  about that one thing. What if you opened up the aperture on
• 6:37
  the lens a little bit and understood, like, okay, well,
• 6:41
  how can it. this person isn't, you know, somebody that can help
• 6:46
  with this, what else? How can I help them, and how else then can
• 6:50
  you know can I utilize this in a positive way to help with the
• 6:54
  success of the business? You know, so anyway, very long
• 6:58
  answer, but that's for me, really, that was kind of that
• 7:02
  tipping point for me, and being able to kind of continue to grow
• 7:06
  and excel and move past my, you know, kind of self-imposed
• 7:10
  limitations, is when I understood that next kind of
• 7:14
  realm about leverage and working smarter,
• 7:18
  John Mitchell: Right. Well, you know, you were, you were so much
• 7:22
  like the female version of myself, you know, working really
• 7:27
  hard, and, and, and that, that gets you to a certain point, but
• 7:33
  it doesn't really take you to to where you want to go, and I'm
• 7:38
  starting to teach my methodology to MBAs, as opposed to
• 7:43
  undergraduates, as I've mentioned before, and I think
• 7:47
  one of the things I am super proud of is, and I'm going to
• 7:53
  say this to the MBAs, first day of the class, which is coming up
• 7:58
  here in a couple months, I'm going to talk about how, when I
• 8:03
  was 50, it hit me that I had to start netting a million dollars
• 8:09
  a year. I mean, as materialistic as that sounds, for me to have
• 8:14
  the exceptional life, that's what it took, and, and the
• 8:19
  statistics are that about one half to 1/3 of 1% are able to do
• 8:25
  that, and you know, I watched teaching you this, and seeing
• 8:30
  your income, personal income, to go over a million dollars a
• 8:35
  year, and I was so friggin proud of that, as you should be proud
• 8:41
  of that, and, and I know I was proud of it when, when that
• 8:46
  happened to me, and, and boy, when I look back on all that
• 8:51
  today, I'm like, it is so not about working harder, and you'll
• 8:56
  find this this interesting. So, I've been working with Claude a
• 9:02
  lot. I'm creating the, as I mentioned before we went on the
• 9:07
  air, I'm creating this new website called Advanced
• 9:11
  Leadership of Self, and so I'm using Claude and ChatGPT to do
• 9:17
  it, and Claude came up with two very interesting things. One
• 9:22
  thing, and this is completely Claude, it says working harder
• 9:27
  is like stepping on the accelerator when the parking
• 9:32
  brake is on, if you are, if you're not leading yourself
• 9:37
  deliberately and intentionally with a system. Wow, that is
• 9:42
  powerful. So, working harder is like, let me say it again,
• 9:47
  working harder is like stepping on the accelerator with the
• 9:52
  parking brake on, if you're not leading yourself deliberately
• 9:57
  and intelligently. With the system, I'm like, that is so
• 10:02
  freaking profound. Then, does that resonate with you?
• 10:07
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, 100% And I like that, you know, me, I love
• 10:11
  analogies, and anything that can help my brain, you know, make a
• 10:14
  connection that's simple, like dumb it down, you know, from a
• 10:18
  where my brain can wrap it, you know, around the idea of the
• 10:22
  concept, and that does it beautifully with, with imagining
• 10:26
  stepping on an accelerator with your parking brake on, that's
• 10:29
  what it, yeah, that's what it feels like. It's like, so, no, I
• 10:33
  love that,
• 10:34
  John Mitchell: You know,
• 10:34
  Kelly Hatfield: Claude, Claude, so smart.
• 10:36
  John Mitchell: I tell you, I see so many people are switching
• 10:39
  from, from Chat GBT, which I loved, to Claude. It's just, it
• 10:45
  just better now that could change in the future, but
• 10:48
  Kelly Hatfield: yeah.
• 10:49
  John Mitchell: And here's something else that blew me away
• 10:52
  with, with Claude. This shows you the sophistication of it. So
• 10:56
  I was talking about writing this new website, and so I write it,
• 11:02
  and and there were probably seven or eight things that after
• 11:07
  I got it all written, I'm like, oh, I forgot to put that in, or
• 11:11
  could forgot to put this in, like, an as an example, I forgot
• 11:16
  to put in the bubble up effect, well, that was super important,
• 11:20
  because, because that gives you a practical example of how how
• 11:25
  this methodology works and so I could all I had to do was say
• 11:30
  okay here's the concept that I've got to put in here's my
• 11:34
  explanation of it would you figure out where to put it in
• 11:39
  and with the press of a button it would put it in, and it would
• 11:42
  probably improve my, my own words, and so one of the things
• 11:49
  after that, What a burger experience the next day, I go,
• 11:54
  okay, so what success I've been blessed with came from working
• 12:01
  smarter not harder, and so I say to Clyde, put that in the
• 12:08
  website wherever you think appropriate, and it comes back
• 12:12
  and it goes, are you sure you want to put that in, and I'm
• 12:17
  like, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, and it says, well, here's the
• 12:22
  problem. If you put it in just like that, it sounds like it's
• 12:27
  a, it's a marketing promotion.
• 12:31
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah,
• 12:32
  John Mitchell: And this is an academic website, essentially,
• 12:36
  and it says it's way better to say it's not about working
• 12:42
  harder and say nothing else, and I'm like, wow, because if you
• 12:48
  say it's not about working harder, then automatically
• 12:53
  people's mind goes it's working smarter, but by not saying it,
• 12:59
  it doesn't, you get the same message across without it
• 13:04
  sounding like marketing. I'm like, wow, talk about the
• 13:09
  nuances and the sophistication of these AI models, it's just phenomenal.
• 13:16
  Kelly Hatfield: Yep, no, it's fascinating, and I think you
• 13:18
  know the point that we're trying to make right now about working
• 13:22
  smarter. You've just shared an example of that by utilizing
• 13:28
  tools you know that are helping your ideas and concepts come to
• 13:33
  life, that come to life quicker, come to life. You know, you know
• 13:36
  again, it's the, that's just another, you know, example of
• 13:42
  working smarter this in the fraction of the time, and, and
• 13:46
  you know, with you don't have that level of expertise, you
• 13:50
  know, so as far as designing a website and the psychology
• 13:54
  behind how the, how the, you know, audience is going to
• 13:57
  respond to different language, and you know, so to be able to
• 14:01
  do that through a tool like this, you know, it's just, it's
• 14:06
  smart, it's working smarter,
• 14:09
  John Mitchell: Right? Right. Absolutely. And you know, I love
• 14:13
  this, this saying that I got turned on to a few months ago,
• 14:18
  that you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the
• 14:23
  level of your systems, and, and I see how critically important
• 14:29
  it is to have a system for leading yourself. I mean, you
• 14:34
  got to have a system, and the reality is, I know very few
• 14:39
  people that have a system for leading themselves, like, like
• 14:44
  we said 100 times, they're just winging life, and the other
• 14:49
  thing I saw that was interesting with, with, with Claude was I
• 14:55
  would say that, and it would say winging life in a way more
• 15:00
  sophisticated. Gated way than I was saying it, but which was was
• 15:06
  interesting, and the other thing that was was interesting in this
• 15:11
  process, I guess this really started a few months ago. I
• 15:16
  asked, I asked Chat GPT, now they think about it, to do a
• 15:21
  research project on on the field of leadership of self in in
• 15:27
  higher education today in colleges and universities around
• 15:32
  the world, so it does it, and it's very thorough, and it says
• 15:37
  here's the amazing thing. Well, two sort of amazing things. One
• 15:43
  is that the field of advanced leadership of self does not
• 15:48
  exist today, because people refer to it in a variety of
• 15:53
  different ways, like self mastery, self awareness, all
• 15:57
  sorts of things, and it says whoever grabs that moniker and
• 16:03
  defines it better than anybody will own the space. Well, I can
• 16:08
  do that, I've already done it, and so, but the, the other thing
• 16:14
  that was interesting, it says after looking at like 48 top
• 16:19
  universities, including Harvard and Stanford and MIT, and it
• 16:24
  says they're all missing the thing that you're getting, that
• 16:29
  the majority of your daily actions are unconscious, and the
• 16:35
  significance of that is your daily actions determine your
• 16:40
  success in each area of your life. And it says, How can you
• 16:45
  develop a leadership of self model that's effective if you
• 16:50
  ignore that? And it says academia is ignoring it, that's
• 16:55
  why you can own the space, and so I'm like, I spent a little
• 17:00
  time saying, why, you know, I'm that's great to hear, but I'm
• 17:06
  like, why is that, that I mean, it makes me, it made me think,
• 17:11
  am I missing something? If, if I'm the only one that's getting
• 17:17
  this, and everybody else is missing it, maybe, maybe it's
• 17:22
  the other way around. Maybe I'm missing something, and everybody
• 17:27
  else is getting, and it says no, that's not the case. And it
• 17:33
  says, don't worry about why they, they're not getting it,
• 17:38
  you've got it, and you're the only one that's promoting this,
• 17:43
  and you're connecting the dots, and you're the only one that
• 17:48
  actually has created a way of doing life. It's, it's the how
• 17:54
  of leadership of self, and so don't spend much time worrying
• 17:59
  about it, just go share it with the world, and so, but I
• 18:04
  thought, I thought that was so interesting,
• 18:08
  Kelly Hatfield: So interesting, and you know, again, it just
• 18:11
  speaks to the opportunity, you know, because I know how
• 18:15
  important making an impact is to you, and, and so the fact that
• 18:20
  this has been completely overlooked, you know, and
• 18:23
  because everybody's talking about habits, and you know,
• 18:27
  John Mitchell: Right,
• 18:28
  Kelly Hatfield: But like they are missing a fund of
• 18:31
  foundational and fundamental part of habit of habit building,
• 18:35
  you know, and establishing new habits, and so anyway, it's
• 18:40
  interesting. I'm very excited about this, from on the academic
• 18:45
  side of things, in the direction that think of be it is going. I
• 18:50
  love it.
• 18:51
  John Mitchell: Right, well, and you know, the thing I realized,
• 18:55
  and you and I've talked about this before, when, when it was
• 18:59
  just you and me, and we're two people that found something that
• 19:04
  that was amazing and works, and we start sharing it with the
• 19:09
  world. There is so much clutter out there that you can't, you
• 19:15
  can't overcome the clutter, and again, you know, as we learned,
• 19:21
  this is for the 2% not the 98% so, so you know, that's that's
• 19:28
  another factor, but I finally, you know, this, this think a bit
• 19:33
  has been a now a 13 year journey, and it finally hit me,
• 19:41
  oh, probably three or four years ago, you can't overcome the
• 19:45
  clutter, just cannot do it in the success and human
• 19:48
  achievement field, can't do it, and because by God we try, but
• 19:56
  what I see now is when you come at it. From a different
• 20:00
  perspective, when you were, you, when you're coming out at this
• 20:06
  from the perspective of of academia at one of the top
• 20:12
  business schools in the country and one of the top research
• 20:15
  universities in the world, and you're you're promoting advanced
• 20:23
  leadership self, which, which is sort of way different from a
• 20:28
  perception standpoint than think it be it, you know, people here
• 20:33
  think it be it, and they don't, it's sort of catchy, but they
• 20:35
  don't know what the heck that
• 20:37
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah,
• 20:38
  John Mitchell: Well, when you say to advanced leadership self,
• 20:42
  and you're saying it from the platform of a world-renowned
• 20:48
  institution. Now people pay attention.
• 20:53
  Kelly Hatfield: Yep, absolutely.
• 20:54
  John Mitchell: Now I haven't proved this, yeah, but I'm
• 20:57
  pretty damn sure this is true, and I intend to prove it. So I
• 21:01
  don't know, it's, it's, it's gonna be interesting, and, and
• 21:05
  tonight I'm going to host like five MBAs, because I want to get
• 21:10
  my head into where MBAs are. Think back when you were like 28
• 21:15
  years old, you know? I see that it's sort of that perfect time,
• 21:20
  because they've been out in the real world and they've, they,
• 21:24
  they are now pivoting, so the, and they have the maturity, I
• 21:29
  mean, you know that age is is right for something like, like
• 21:35
  this, don't you think?
• 21:36
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think so. I think you've got enough
• 21:38
  experience behind you, and then enough out in front of you, and
• 21:43
  enough experience behind you, where, because I think
• 21:45
  sometimes, too, when we're dealing with people that are
• 21:48
  further along in their life and careers, they may have been, you
• 21:52
  know, that that subconscious, it can be sometimes even more a
• 21:57
  challenge for people, you know, in their life without having a
• 22:00
  system like this, because maybe they've been kicked in the teeth
• 22:03
  by life a little, you know what I mean, they're created toward
• 22:07
  the idea of something like this being able to work for them,
• 22:10
  because maybe they've read a book, read 20 books on personal
• 22:14
  development, you know, and nothing ever sticks, and like,
• 22:17
  so they've got kind of this, you know, jaded way of thinking
• 22:21
  about it, so like you're the spot that you're in right now
• 22:23
  with the 2628 year olds is like the sweet spot, you know, in
• 22:28
  terms of where they're at in their life, what they've got
• 22:30
  behind them and what they've got in front of them. So that's
• 22:33
  exciting,
• 22:33
  John Mitchell: You know. Every everybody wants to be more
• 22:36
  successful, and I know you've learned this, as I have. You
• 22:40
  know, it's it's not chasing success, it's attracting success
• 22:44
  by, by taking yourself and, and literally recreating yourself,
• 22:48
  you know, defining here's exactly the person I want to be,
• 22:52
  exactly what I want to accomplish, and precisely how
• 22:56
  I'm going to achieve my clearly defined goals, you know, that
• 23:00
  nobody's done that before, really, you know, but in this
• 23:04
  methodology you do it, and then once you, you do that hard work
• 23:08
  of defining all that, then you just feed it to yourself every
• 23:12
  day, you feed that succinct articulation of your desired
• 23:16
  life, and that influences those, those unconscious daily actions,
• 23:20
  and they start happening automatically without thinking.
• 23:24
  You know, I look at all of this, think, wow, it is so simple, so
• 23:29
  friggin simple. So, I don't know, it's going to be a, it's
• 23:33
  going to be an interesting journey. I think
• 23:36
  Kelly Hatfield: I'm excited to see what the future holds, and
• 23:39
  I'm very excited about this program, and to see how you know
• 23:42
  to see some of the case studies that come out of it, too. This
• 23:45
  is going to be really exciting,
• 23:46
  John Mitchell: Right? So, as we, as we leave you today, so again,
• 23:50
  the name of this, this episode is, it's not about working
• 23:54
  harder. As you put your head on the pillow tonight, just think
• 23:59
  about that. It's not about working harder. We'll see you
• 24:03
  next week.