Latest / The Hypnotist / Adam on Why He Became a Therapist and the Origin of The Hypnotist Podcast
Transcript
- 0:05Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
- 0:09access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
- 0:12genuine. Issues.
- 0:13Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
- 0:16celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
- 0:21recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
- 0:24famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
- 0:31enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
- 0:39Hi, it's Adam here. And every now and then I have a
- 0:43guest hypnotist, as you know, speaking about their background
- 0:47and how they got into hypnotherapy.
- 0:50But I was recently on a podcast called Hypnosis and Beyond where
- 0:55I was the guest on their podcast and they asked me lots of
- 0:58questions about my thoughts on hypnosis, how I work, how I
- 1:03became a hypnotherapist, and some of my opinions on therapy.
- 1:08And I watched it and I thought my audience might benefit from
- 1:13hearing my take on these things. So if you're interested in me
- 1:18being the guest rather than being the host, then check out
- 1:22this feature on someone else's podcast, Hypnosis and Beyond.
- 1:26And if you'd like this podcast, I'm going to put a link so that
- 1:30you can follow and see more episodes of their podcast.
- 1:33So if that's of interest, check that out and let me know in the
- 1:37comments if you like to hear more of me being a guest on
- 1:41other podcasts and I'm happy to share more of those.
- 1:45For now though, relax and enjoy me being featured on a podcast.
- 1:51Take care. Hey, Jen.
- 2:02Hey, Dana. Hey everybody, welcome to
- 2:06hypnosis. And beyond today we have Adam
- 2:12Cox. He is the host of the world's
- 2:15most popular podcast, The Hypnotist.
- 2:18He also regularly works with celebrities, CE, OS and even
- 2:23royalty. Hi, Adam.
- 2:31Great to be here. Thank.
- 2:35You for joining us today. We so appreciate it.
- 2:37We've been so excited to get to speak with you.
- 2:41You are a pretty well known figure to a lot of people in our
- 2:46world, but what about all the people who don't know who you
- 2:50are? Can you share a little bit about
- 2:53who you are and what you do? Yeah, so you could probably tell
- 2:58from my accent, I'm, I'm British, so live very close to
- 3:02to London and I'm most well known for being a host of a
- 3:08podcast called The Hypnotist. And the Hypnotist is kind of
- 3:12different from a lot of hypnosis podcast because generally I'm
- 3:15not interviewing guests. What I tend to do is I share
- 3:19real hypnosis based on real client issues, but protect the
- 3:23confidentiality of the client. And what that does is it gives
- 3:27the audience the ability to experience what I consider real
- 3:32hypnosis. Whereas a lot of what's on
- 3:34YouTube and, and recordings are kind of scripted voice over
- 3:39stuff. And for me, I consider real
- 3:42hypnosis something you do with the person in front of you, with
- 3:45a client. And that that I think is what
- 3:48makes it different. So I guess the easiest way to
- 3:52yeah to to describe me is a British hypnotist that has a
- 3:58podcast called The Hypnotist I. Like it?
- 4:03And do you find that you get clients that have the same sort
- 4:10of issue all in a row? Like do you get crops of a
- 4:13certain issue or do you specialize in something?
- 4:16How does How does that work? When I started, I specialized in
- 4:22weight loss and phobias mainly and that and that was the two
- 4:26things because my belief system when I started about 12 years
- 4:30ago is that the medical industry was very much focused on
- 4:40changing body parts. So, you know, kind of if you
- 4:43think of bariatric surgery, so gust gastric sleeves and bands
- 4:47and those kind of things, or medication.
- 4:49And obviously with those MPIC, you know, it's quite popular
- 4:52now. But my belief is that if you can
- 4:55help someone to lose weight, you better off dealing with the the
- 4:58cause. Like what's the original reason
- 5:01why they have certain habits and those kind of things?
- 5:04And because I had very, very extreme phobias growing up, I
- 5:09thought, yeah, I'm going to help people with phobia.
- 5:11So when I started, it was that what happened in COVID though,
- 5:15is that I had a very, very nice therapy room in a very
- 5:19prestigious part of, of London. And when COVID came, I knew that
- 5:27clients weren't going to be seeing me face to face.
- 5:29So I thought, right, let me let me slows down this kind of lease
- 5:32agreement on on that therapy room.
- 5:35And I thought I really wanted to keep having an outlet for
- 5:39hypnotherapy even during the pandemic.
- 5:43And I thought of the idea of a podcast.
- 5:44So what actually happened? Originally I was sharing lots of
- 5:48phobia and weight loss podcast episodes and that was getting me
- 5:53clients with phobias and weight loss.
- 5:56But every now and then I would work with a client that had
- 5:59something quite unique and quite different.
- 6:02And then whenever I published an episode like that, I would then
- 6:05get more people discovering me because they had that issue.
- 6:10So, you know, it's now it's very, very wide.
- 6:14But when I started it was very much weight loss and and
- 6:16phobias. Do you do you notice a a thread
- 6:22underneath most issues? Like do you think that that most
- 6:25things boil down to to anything? Or do you find that everything
- 6:30is just really unique and and it's there aren't commonalities?
- 6:35I I I would say both. I mean every client is unique.
- 6:39Where I would say there is commonalities is that the brain
- 6:45is pretty good at trying to solve problems, trying to solve
- 6:51problems, but sometimes the coping strategy that it comes up
- 6:54with paradoxically gives them the very thing that they're
- 6:59looking to avoid. So if you think of a phobic, for
- 7:01example, a phobic quite often has an unpleasant experience and
- 7:07the brain does not like that at all.
- 7:09And it says, right, to help you avoid this unpleasant thing
- 7:13happening again, you're going to pay way more attention to this
- 7:16thing that you want to avoid. And now they end up thinking
- 7:19more and noticing more the very thing that causes the anxiety.
- 7:23So I would say sometimes it's a well-intentioned coping strategy
- 7:27that actually makes things worse.
- 7:28Sometimes it's just one disempowering belief.
- 7:31I would say at least a third of all my weight loss clients
- 7:34somewhere have the belief that they're just not good enough.
- 7:38And, and they're in this kind of cycle where the part of them
- 7:41that believes that they're not good enough doesn't believe that
- 7:44they should be happy, confident and slim, but eating food makes
- 7:47them feel better. So they're in this kind of
- 7:49cycle. So part of what I consider my
- 7:52job to be is to play detective and say, right, you know, where
- 7:57did all this come from? You know, when was it not like
- 8:00this? Because I, I believe that if you
- 8:03can deal with the, the cause rather than the effect, you're
- 8:07more likely to make long term change.
- 8:09And that's the opposite of the Pharmaceutical industry that in
- 8:12many cases couldn't care less about the cause and they just
- 8:16come up with a medication to treat the symptoms.
- 8:18And I think as as hypnotherapists, much better to
- 8:22deal with what's causing this rather than just giving them
- 8:26suggestions to make them feel better in the moment.
- 8:31Do you use different techniques to get at that cause or do you,
- 8:37you know, what sort of is, how do you explore that with people
- 8:41in general? I know it's different of course,
- 8:43but do you have some techniques that you are your go?
- 8:46TOS asking questions is, is, is my main technique and, and one
- 8:51of my favourite questions is depending on what the issue is,
- 8:55is, is I say, if I were you for the day, how would I do what
- 8:59you're doing? And, and, and that's, that's a
- 9:02strategy elicitation question. It's it's out of the NLP
- 9:06playbook, but you can look at what people do as kind of an
- 9:10internal pattern or strategy. And and I think most people
- 9:15think they have to know why, but actually how is much more
- 9:18important because if you know how they do it, then it becomes
- 9:21easier to figure out what to change.
- 9:24And then you're just adjusting a pre-existing neural pathway
- 9:27rather than trying to create a brand new neural pathway.
- 9:32So the analogy I use for a lot of people with let's say,
- 9:35emotions that are triggered by something and that might be
- 9:38something that causes anxiety or it might be something that
- 9:42causes a compulsive behaviour is almost like a line of dominoes.
- 9:46And my job is to find out what's the first one or two dominoes
- 9:49that fall that create this sequence and then figure out
- 9:52where to interrupt the pattern and then reroute it to a more
- 9:56resourceful way. So questions, I think is the
- 10:00best way. And listening quite often the
- 10:04client tells you what's happening.
- 10:06So you might have a client that is, is very stressed and they
- 10:10literally say, you know, and I just tell myself like, you're a
- 10:15piece of shit, like you can't do anything right.
- 10:17They're telling you they're in a dialogue, you know, and, and I
- 10:20think sometimes it's just paying attention.
- 10:22And when you pay attention, it becomes obvious what to do.
- 10:25And then even paying attention, if they've got in a dialogue, is
- 10:28it stated in a first or third person?
- 10:31If the inner dialogue is saying you, you know, you've got a
- 10:33disassociated part. And if it's I, you know, it's
- 10:36associated. And that's the same way
- 10:38visually, if they relive A traumatic memory from a first
- 10:42person perspective, they're associated into that memory.
- 10:46And if they see themselves looking like someone else,
- 10:49they're disassociated. And I think association and
- 10:51disassociation is one of the key things that you can take eye
- 10:55levels of an intense undesirable emotion and, and just dial it
- 10:58down very, very quick just by changing the perspective or, or
- 11:02giving a part a different role to play.
- 11:07Fascinating. And so then do you find that an
- 11:12issue somebody comes to you for initially is the issue or is
- 11:16there usually something else behind it then?
- 11:21I mean, there's, there's a great phrase in hypnotherapy.
- 11:23The issue is never the issue. And, and, and I think there's a
- 11:26lot of truth to that. Quite often the issue that the
- 11:30client presents with is their coping strategy.
- 11:33Someone might be overweight, they might be drinking too much,
- 11:37they might be taking recreational drugs.
- 11:39So they think they just want to quit that thing.
- 11:41But then you figure out actually they're doing it to connect with
- 11:45themselves. They're doing it to make
- 11:47themselves feel better. So I would, I would agree with
- 11:50the statement, not that the issue is never the issue, but
- 11:54the issue is, is normally never the cause of the issue that
- 11:58they're dealing with. And you know, from my
- 12:00perspective, why not, why not treat the, the cause of the
- 12:04problem? Because then it's going to, it's
- 12:07going to be a long term solution.
- 12:08Whereas if someone's feeling depressed, you can do a
- 12:11hypnotherapy session that makes them feel good in the moment.
- 12:14You just get them associating into resourceful states.
- 12:17But you need to know how they're getting depressed consistently.
- 12:21And that might be, you know, in a dialogue telling themselves
- 12:24they're useless. You know, what's the point in
- 12:26trying? And it's like, well, you want to
- 12:28deal with that rather than give them a temporary experience,
- 12:30takes them feel better for the session, you know, much better
- 12:34to make the change so that whatever's causing that, that
- 12:38low mood or that depressed state doesn't keep coming back again
- 12:41and again. So how do you how do you forward
- 12:47pace or how do you check future pace to to know that you have
- 12:53gotten to that point and not just made them feel good?
- 12:58Yeah, almost every. So I must have published about
- 13:021800 and something episodes of of the hypnotist and almost
- 13:07every single client session ends with future pacing and and I and
- 13:13I start the future pacing disassociated to say right now,
- 13:16when you think about your future, you know, I want you to
- 13:19see yourself. You know, what do you do when
- 13:21you've got a craving? What do you do when you're in a
- 13:24social situation? Like I want, I want them to see
- 13:27themselves like them, someone else first because they don't
- 13:30have the evidence that they can access that yet.
- 13:32But we want to kind of sow the seed that it's possible and then
- 13:35step into that and feel what it would feel like to actually be
- 13:38that. So for example, if someone's
- 13:41afraid of public speaking, for example, and they just see
- 13:44themselves on a stage confidently performing, that's a
- 13:47great stepping stone, but it's not quite enough because when
- 13:50they're actually doing the speech, they're not going to be
- 13:53seeing themselves like there's someone else.
- 13:54They're actually going to be looking at the audience in front
- 13:56of them. In which case you need to
- 13:57associate into the resource state.
- 14:00So that's one way that you do it.
- 14:02And and the second way is you test with the client.
- 14:06You might send them homework, you might say, right between now
- 14:09and the next session, let's just test this out to make sure it's
- 14:12actually working the way that you want.
- 14:14So I had a client that wanted to reduce the amount of alcohol
- 14:17they were consuming. And we did a great session and
- 14:21she came back and she's like, well, it kind of worked, but it
- 14:25didn't because a friend popped around with a bottle of wine and
- 14:28then this happened and then this happened.
- 14:30So then for me, that's a feedback loop.
- 14:32And that next session was using this metaphor of snakes and
- 14:35ladders. But now she knew exactly where
- 14:37the snakes were, so she could then pre empt those things.
- 14:41And I said, right now when a friend pops over with a bottle
- 14:44of wine, like what, what do you say?
- 14:46And it's, and it's kind of like, OK, not for me.
- 14:49No thanks. I'm I'm having this.
- 14:51Do you want some? So she could rehearse that.
- 14:53And then it was a case of like, Can you imagine that actually
- 14:56happening? Like imagine the friend knocking
- 14:58at the door. Who's it likely to be?
- 15:00What do they have? And, and, and mentally
- 15:02rehearsing that because once they've done it in their head,
- 15:06you know, in science, they have this idea of in vivo and in
- 15:09vitro, they do the test in the test tube before they do it in
- 15:12reality. So it's good to do that with
- 15:15clients. It's like the future pacing can
- 15:18only give them an essence of what it's going to be.
- 15:21Reality is where the rubber meets the road.
- 15:23So I don't look at it as the hypnosis is only effective if
- 15:27everything happens perfectly. It's real life is the way that
- 15:31you turn thoughts and, and priming into real neural
- 15:35pathways. And then once they've done that
- 15:38experientially, of course, they're more likely to do it
- 15:41again. So I I I treat real life as the
- 15:44real test of of any change. Do you give clients audios to
- 15:53listen to as a standard operating practice, or is that
- 15:57only for some clients? Or is that part of your, you
- 16:01know, your protocols? It's part of what I do and, and
- 16:07that's originally where the podcast came from because you
- 16:09know, as you could probably tell, like I'm, I'm an audio
- 16:12geek. I, I love all this kind of
- 16:14stuff. And I had this, I don't know if
- 16:17I've, I've got it around here at the moment, but I have this like
- 16:19portable microphones. When I was seeing clients face
- 16:22to face, even then I would have a studio quality microphone.
- 16:25I would hold it, I would do it to them and then record it in
- 16:28really good audio quality and then I would send them it
- 16:31afterwards. But what it meant is that I had
- 16:35200, you know, kind of hypnosis recordings.
- 16:38And originally I thought, oh, OK, I can launch this podcast
- 16:42already having 200 hypnosis recordings.
- 16:45That is just my voice. The problem with when I started,
- 16:48I had so many weight loss clients.
- 16:50A lot of the recordings were very, very similar.
- 16:53And then what I needed to do is to kind of write, OK, have some
- 16:56variety there. And then, you know, I got
- 16:59creative and made movie inspired hypnosis sessions.
- 17:03But for me, you know, my belief system is that if you're seeing
- 17:06clients face to face, you need a therapy room.
- 17:09If you're seeing clients online as as most of my clients are,
- 17:13you need a recording studio. So one of the benefits of having
- 17:16a recording studio is that I can do the session, they hear good
- 17:20audio quality from me and they can they can see me well, but I
- 17:24can capture that audio in studio quality and then send that to
- 17:27them. So that that does two things.
- 17:29One, it's added value for the client, but it also means
- 17:32they've got not a generic recording because I know some
- 17:35hypnotherapist, they say, OK, right, we've done the session
- 17:38and then I'm going to e-mail you some pre recorded sessions, you
- 17:42know, from before, but that's not for the client.
- 17:45The client needs what is calibrated and and and kind of
- 17:48customized to them. So every time I work with a
- 17:51client and do a hypnotherapy session, they get the studio
- 17:55quality recording of that session.
- 17:58That's that's really powerful. So in terms of your podcast,
- 18:04then, do you see yourself continuing in this, you know,
- 18:11doing hypnosis sessions on there or do you, do you see that
- 18:17changing over time or I mean, I know it's working.
- 18:19So I, I I'm, but I'm just curious where you see that going
- 18:23in the? Future I'm I'm having way too
- 18:25much fun at the moment to to change it So and, and I've got
- 18:29this this cycle that you, you know this from having a podcast
- 18:34like one of the most difficult things is to is to build an
- 18:36audience. Once you've got an audience,
- 18:39it's easier to grow an audience, but actually building it
- 18:41initially can be quite challenging.
- 18:43And, and I'm in a a fortunate situation that because of what
- 18:47I've done, I have I think over 51,000 followers on Spotify.
- 18:55I think there's about 20,000 on Apple.
- 18:57So it means that every every month I've got about 400,000
- 19:01downloads and that gives me a good base.
- 19:03So I just share my hypnosis sessions, protecting the
- 19:07confidentiality of the client. That generates me more clients,
- 19:11which then generates more sessions.
- 19:13So it's this wonderful, you know, kind of flywheel where the
- 19:16busier I get, the busier I get. And you know, from a financial
- 19:21perspective that doesn't make sense because it's difficult to
- 19:24scale your time if you're only working with clients one-on-one.
- 19:28Except for me, it's I enjoy it too much so I don't look at it
- 19:33as right. Is this the best way to scale my
- 19:35brand? It's kind of like, no, I love
- 19:37working with clients 1 to 1. So if I just get busier working
- 19:41with clients 1:00 to 1:00, that's fine.
- 19:43But because I have a recording studio, I'm also creating
- 19:46digital courses because not everyone can afford to work with
- 19:48me. So you want to have something
- 19:50where if clients can work with you, they can, but if they
- 19:53can't, there's they get a digital clone version of me
- 19:56doing the sessions for them, which it makes me more
- 19:59accessible. But I'm a hypnotherapist and
- 20:02hypnotherapist do hypnotherapy with real clients.
- 20:05And I think one of the one of the paradoxes that you have in
- 20:09the hypnotherapy world and you know, we were at Hypno Thoughts.
- 20:13Sometimes a talented hypnotherapist then starts doing
- 20:18conferences, starts doing talks, they become a trainer, and then
- 20:22they end up doing less work with clients and then effectively.
- 20:27You know, you lose that sensory acuity, you lose that
- 20:31calibration, and then effectively you're saying stuff
- 20:35which becomes less and less experiential because you've
- 20:38become a teacher rather than a therapist.
- 20:41And, and for me, you know, I teach and I do courses, but I'm
- 20:46a, I'm a hypnotist, I'm a hypnotherapist.
- 20:47Like that's what I do. So, you know, I would never, you
- 20:51know, the day I retire from hypnotherapy is I physically
- 20:54can't do it anymore. Like outside of that, you know,
- 20:57I'll keep doing it because it's it, you know, I was, I was
- 21:01having a conversation with someone and they said being a
- 21:03hypnotherapist is like, like a cheat code for life because you
- 21:07get paid to do something incredibly fulfilling, that's
- 21:10creative, it's intellectually stimulating, you actually make a
- 21:13difference in people's lives. And there's no downside.
- 21:17And there's lots of professions that can't say that they get the
- 21:20money, but they don't really like what they do.
- 21:21They're kind of ashamed of it. And hypnotherapy is, is a
- 21:24wonderful thing that I can't really see a downside.
- 21:28So it's kind of like, you know, I'm, I'm happy to be, to be as
- 21:32busy as I can be because I know it's, it's doing good.
- 21:36And it also has that ripple effect with me that beyond the
- 21:38clients that I'm working with, one of the, one of the most
- 21:41wonderful things about the podcast is that I'll see in the
- 21:44comments and I'll see messages from people that I'll never
- 21:47meet, You know, they'll, they'll never meet me.
- 21:50They'll never talk to me. But they say in the message, you
- 21:53know, lost 30 lbs of weight, you know, stop smoking weed, you
- 21:57know, drinking weigh less. And it's just, that's just a
- 22:01ripple effect of me working with the original client.
- 22:04But but people out there are hearing this stuff and it's
- 22:06actually helping them too. And that's, you know, what a
- 22:09wonderful time to live, to be able to, to have the ability to
- 22:12do something like that. It would be really interesting
- 22:15to hear how you got into hypnosis.
- 22:17What made you what you know? Yeah.
- 22:21What brought you to this field? What, what brought me I was, I
- 22:24was fascinated by psychology quite young.
- 22:27So I was a very shy, introverted child.
- 22:33And only later in my 20s, I kind of pieced it together.
- 22:37But that belief that I talked about with a lot of my weight
- 22:39loss clients, not feeling that they're good enough, I had that
- 22:41belief, a deep conviction, not just a belief, but a strong
- 22:46conviction that I just wasn't good enough without defining
- 22:50what enough was. But I believed it anyway.
- 22:53And you know, but I was also quite resourceful.
- 22:57So if you genuinely believe that you're not good enough and you
- 23:00don't want to stay that way, then it creates this motivation
- 23:03to get better. And you know, I had a love of
- 23:06learning. So as a child I would read books
- 23:09on lots of things that I thought would make me better and that
- 23:13might be exercise. I remember reading books on
- 23:16mnemonics. I was I learned to speed read
- 23:19when I was about 12 years old. And by speed reading young you
- 23:22can learn more stuff quickly. And I thought, OK, well I want
- 23:25to accumulate knowledge reading books on investment quite young.
- 23:28So I had this kind of desire to do that stuff.
- 23:31And the first book I read on hypnosis was a book by Ormond
- 23:35McGill on stage hypnosis when I was about 12 or 13.
- 23:38And now I am doing like little arm catalepsy tests and the
- 23:42locking fingers and the magnetic fingers.
- 23:44And, you know, I didn't realize why they were working.
- 23:47It doesn't explain the book, but of course there's, there's
- 23:49certain kind of physical thing, but it is the, the confidence
- 23:52and the congruency of the language.
- 23:54So all of these things were being planted quite young.
- 23:59The irony for me is that where it really changed was when I was
- 24:0318 years old, I left, I left home to study psychology as a,
- 24:08as a degree. And during that time I, I had
- 24:12very, very severe social anxiety.
- 24:15So I had these kind of horrible rashes over my, my, my face and
- 24:18my chest. And that led me to avoid people.
- 24:23And then effectively I became a recluse.
- 24:25And I knew at the time, because I knew a bit, you know, about
- 24:29psychology, that if I would have gone to my doctor and said,
- 24:33like, I'm feeling this way, they're either going to diagnose
- 24:36me with generalized anxiety disorder or depression and
- 24:40basically put me on meds. And I knew I didn't want that.
- 24:43So instead, you know, being a recluse, I was avoiding people.
- 24:47But the university I was in had a 24 hour library.
- 24:51So I would kind of basically become a vampire.
- 24:53I would like sleep in the day and then at night time go to the
- 24:57library and just consume everything that I could on
- 25:01different therapeutic modalities and those things.
- 25:05And, you know, it kind of went from to use almost like a bit of
- 25:10a cliche as an extreme, but I was suicidal at that point,
- 25:14generally considered like ending my life to thinking, right, I've
- 25:18got nothing to lose now by testing this stuff out.
- 25:21And it was hypnosis and the early NLP approaches that really
- 25:26I found was effective for me. And, and I went from being, you
- 25:31know, very, you know, shy and introverted and anxious and all
- 25:37these kind of skin conditions to actually getting to a point of
- 25:40being very confident and very a strong level of belief in my own
- 25:46abilities. And when you're 20 years old,
- 25:50you know, and you and you start actually getting confident and
- 25:53you've never had that before, you're not interested in being a
- 25:55therapist. I was interested in making
- 25:57money, you know, and, and dating like that.
- 26:00That was, that was the, the thing that I was interested in.
- 26:03So I had a couple of jobs, but then I set up my own business at
- 26:0723 years old. The money I made for my
- 26:09business, I, I invested. So technically I was a self-made
- 26:14millionaire at the age of 27 and in my mid 30s came across this
- 26:19concept called icky guy because I didn't really feel fulfilled
- 26:24with my PR agency that I'd built and, and the investments that I
- 26:27had. And I asked myself the question,
- 26:29you know, what is it that I think about and I'm interested
- 26:32in, even though it's nothing about money and nothing about
- 26:35anything else. And it was, it was still
- 26:37psychology, it was hypnosis. It was these things.
- 26:40So literally the next day I signed up for a hypnotherapy
- 26:42course. And what really changed for me
- 26:45is that when I was learning hypnotherapy and becoming a
- 26:48hypnotherapist, it was almost like there was unlocking a
- 26:52secret level in my life that I didn't know existed.
- 26:54And then suddenly everything got better.
- 26:57You know, I felt happier, I felt more confident, more aligned.
- 27:01And every, every hypnotherapist knows that whenever they work
- 27:04with a client, they're not just helping the client, they're
- 27:07extracting the insights from the client to themselves.
- 27:10So it's kind of like you, you see the patterns and someone
- 27:13might be addicted to something else, but it might be a
- 27:15different addiction to me. So since I've become a
- 27:18hypnotherapist, I think I'm healthier, I think I'm happier.
- 27:22I quit drinking alcohol about 7 years ago.
- 27:25My life has got better, but it all came from being this kind of
- 27:29very anxious nerd of a of a child essentially.
- 27:36Wow, thanks for sharing that with us.
- 27:38A lot of people believe that, you know, when we come across as
- 27:41a hypnotist, you know, maybe don't bring your story, but do
- 27:47you Share your story with your clients?
- 27:51If it's relevant like. As a means of kind of, yeah.
- 27:54Yeah, if, if it's relevant, so when I'm working with an anxiety
- 27:57client and I and I tell them when I was a recluse that my
- 28:00heart would be up to like, you know, 140 beats per minute just
- 28:04by opening the door, they connect with that, you know,
- 28:07they, they know it's lived experience rather than just, you
- 28:10know, kind of words. So yeah, absolutely.
- 28:12And you know, I, I had AI, had a fear of public speaking.
- 28:16Obviously, if you're afraid of people, public speaking is quite
- 28:19a daunting, you know, kind of thing.
- 28:22So, you know, I share what my experiences were, but also what
- 28:27I did to overcome it. Not just saying, oh, I did
- 28:30hypnotherapy myself, which doesn't say anything because
- 28:33most people want to hear the story of the convincer strategy.
- 28:35Like, what did you do to prove to yourself that fear is gone?
- 28:40So when I had a fear of heights, yeah, I did the work on myself.
- 28:43But then I did a skydive because I thought you can't do a skydive
- 28:46and and still be afraid of heights, particularly if you do
- 28:48it more than once. And I had this for a public
- 28:50speaking and I did this speech at the age of about 2324 to 500
- 28:55people in the in the Savoy Hotel.
- 28:58So I think that becomes evidence of the change.
- 29:02It's not that you can just say that you've changed.
- 29:04It's like it's doing the thing. And that was really helpful in
- 29:08the years leading up to COVID because I would do these monthly
- 29:12spider phobia workshops and at the end we would get these
- 29:16lifelong arachnophobes holding a tarantula.
- 29:19Now, it's not useful to hold a tarantula, particularly for for
- 29:23people in England, there's not many tarantulas.
- 29:25You know, we're not, we're not in the Brazilian rainforest.
- 29:28But where it's really useful is to give them evidence of the
- 29:31change. And then they've got a reference
- 29:34that if they held a tarantula now when they see that spider in
- 29:36their kitchen sink or in their bathtub, they feel resourceful
- 29:41to cope because they can think back to that very vivid memory
- 29:45of them holding a tarantula and then give themselves the inner
- 29:48narrative that if I did that, I can definitely handle that
- 29:51situation. And that makes them feel
- 29:53resourceful in a moment that they wouldn't be resourceful.
- 29:56So I think, I think sharing personal anecdotes is a, is a
- 29:59really useful thing to do for, for clients because, you know,
- 30:07one of the things I was always not dismissive of, but, but had
- 30:12a credibility issue with is incongruency.
- 30:15And one of my early hypnotherapy teachers did a master class on
- 30:20weight loss and was massively overweight.
- 30:24And, and I'm thinking, right, there's, there's incongruency
- 30:26here. And another one of the teachers,
- 30:28you know, they, they clearly had like a nervous twitch.
- 30:32And I'm thinking it doesn't quite sit right for me because,
- 30:37you know, there's a great Gandhi quote, which is be the change
- 30:40that you want to see in the world.
- 30:42And I think as hypnotherapists, we have got not an obligation,
- 30:46you know, but I think it's a good example to set that we've
- 30:51experienced all of this stuff and we've got through it.
- 30:55And if we can do it, then they can do it.
- 30:57You know, we're not, we're not superhuman.
- 31:00And I think some hypnotherapists, and I would
- 31:04also say life coaches as well, operate behind this facade of
- 31:08somehow they're perfect and they've got all the answers.
- 31:11And I think it's so disingenuous.
- 31:13Like I call bullshit on that, you know, and I, and I speak all
- 31:16the hypnotherapists, like hypnotherapists have loads of
- 31:18problems too. Like no one's perfect.
- 31:20But I think when you talk about how you've got from where you've
- 31:24been to where you're going through and, and can articulate
- 31:26why and how you've done that, that can actually give a lot of
- 31:30confidence to to to clients. Agreed.
- 31:33I mean, I the last, I mean, tell your story.
- 31:36I would have never thought of you as somebody who would lack
- 31:40confidence. You know, you have like such an
- 31:42incredibly popular podcast and you know, you're so good at what
- 31:47you do. By the way, I do use your
- 31:50recordings. I've told Dana that and I'm
- 31:53really enjoying them. So thank you.
- 31:55Amazing, that's lovely to hear. Well, and with that, we that
- 32:02brings us to our next segment, which is our silly subconscious
- 32:07question. And our question for you today,
- 32:11Mr. Adam Cox, is if you had an animal sidekick, what would it
- 32:18be and why? So I've never thought about it
- 32:25as a, as a sidekick, I, I was considered my, my spirit animal
- 32:29to be either a rhino or a wolf just because I think, you know,
- 32:36they're not, they don't brash animals.
- 32:40You know, it's not like a parrot or a Peacock, like trying to
- 32:43seek attention. But but there is this kind of
- 32:45element of they're capable and they're, they're real and
- 32:50they're, they're playing by their own rules, if that makes
- 32:53sense. So as a sidekick though, I'd
- 32:57want something that complements my skill set.
- 33:00So I'm thinking a very well trained tiger.
- 33:05I think that would be, that'd be a useful that as long as it was
- 33:08entirely loyal to me and it was a genuine sidekick, I'd say that
- 33:11would be a that's a powerful resource to have.
- 33:16Nice. Well, that brings us to our next
- 33:20question. Beyond what we've talked about
- 33:22today, is there something you'd like to share with the audience
- 33:26about you? Yeah, I think, I think the thing
- 33:34I, the thing I would share is that it's good to challenge
- 33:39yourself. Like I, I, I heard this metaphor
- 33:43of the comfort zone that actually when you feel that
- 33:48discomfort or awkwardness or kind of thing, like that's a
- 33:52clue that you're at the edge of your comfort zone.
- 33:55And that actually, rather than that being like an electric
- 33:57fence that you have to kind of run away from, it can actually
- 34:00be something that if you experience the discomfort, do
- 34:03the thing anyway, then your comfort zone expands.
- 34:07And, and interestingly, it doesn't expand only in that
- 34:10direction. It kind of expands
- 34:12proportionally in all directions.
- 34:14So one of the things that I did when I, when I became, you know,
- 34:19let's say, more well known in the UK.
- 34:21So I was featured in a few magazines and TV shows and they
- 34:24use this phrase phobia guru. And I had full on impostor
- 34:27syndrome of, of like thinking very, you know, felt very
- 34:30uncomfortable with that because I had this fear of doing stand
- 34:35up comedy. And I thought, who am I to be,
- 34:39you know, this, this guru of, of helping people with phobias when
- 34:43I have this. So I thought, I've got to change
- 34:46that. So I signed up for this comedy
- 34:47school and then on opening night, how you do this showcase
- 34:52and there was 100 people there in this, in this comedy club in
- 34:56East London, Bethnal Green. If anyone knows London's like
- 35:00like a dodgy East End of London, there's 100 people there.
- 35:05And I've got my 5 minutes of material and I'd love to say I
- 35:09had no anxiety whatsoever. I had full on anxiety, but it
- 35:13wasn't going to deter me because I knew I was beyond my comfort
- 35:17zone. And I did that 5 minutes and I
- 35:20got some good feedback. I even got a client at the end
- 35:23of it because one of my jokes was about erectile dysfunction
- 35:26and a guy stopped me in the bar afterwards and he's like, do you
- 35:28really help people with this area?
- 35:30So I ended up getting a client after doing 5 minutes worth of,
- 35:33of stand up comedy and then I, and I kept on doing it.
- 35:37I did it because I wanted to have no anxiety whatsoever.
- 35:41And I kept on doing it and some nights went well, some nights
- 35:44didn't go so well. But I, I finally got to a point
- 35:46where I could just get up and, and, and kind of do my 5
- 35:51minutes, 10 minutes. And it was, it was fine.
- 35:53And I was never the best in the, in the open mics and I was never
- 35:56the worst. I was all in the in the middle.
- 35:59But it dawned on me that this isn't my passion.
- 36:02I was only doing it to kind of banish the anxiety.
- 36:05And then at that point, what am I doing this for?
- 36:09So I'd say hopefully that that's, that's a useful thing to
- 36:12know about me. But I would say the key lesson I
- 36:14got from that is that you've got to, you've got to lean into what
- 36:17you're passionate about. And the key catalyst for me to
- 36:21kind of stop doing stand up comedy was to realize that I'd
- 36:24met my goal of doing it to begin with.
- 36:27And then I just met someone that had no desire to be a stand up
- 36:30comedian and was just effortlessly funny.
- 36:32And they're like, that's their genius.
- 36:35And I'm pretty good at weaving hypnotic stories together.
- 36:38You know what? I should just do the thing that
- 36:40I'm really passionate about. And I would, I would say anyone
- 36:42listening, like there'll be something that just people are
- 36:46amazed at how good you do that thing.
- 36:48Like that's the thing you should be doing more like do that.
- 36:50It's. An amazing message, thank you.
- 36:54I love it. Well, we so appreciate you
- 36:57taking the time to come and speak with us today, and we hope
- 37:02you'll come back again. And with that, Jen, what do we
- 37:07always say? Peace.
- 37:09Out. Peace out.
- 37:12Peace out. Thank you so much for joining me
- 37:22on today's episode of The Hypnotist, and if you've enjoyed
- 37:27today's episode, I would encourage you, if you haven't
- 37:30already, to hit the subscribe button or follow button to make
- 37:35sure that you're automatically notified of any future episodes
- 37:40that I release. Also, by doing that, it lets the
- 37:44algorithm know that you like this show, and that will put it
- 37:48in front of even more people that might not know that this
- 37:51show exists. So that would be helpful for me.
- 37:55And if you like the stuff that I do, take a moment just to have a
- 37:58look in the show notes or the description because there's lots
- 38:02of free things that I have to offer, including free hypnosis
- 38:05downloads without the intro or the outro like I'm doing now.
- 38:09So thank you again for joining me on today's episode, and I'll
- 38:13see you again soon for the next one.