Latest / Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED / Abby's podcast revealed Scotty's biggest relationship fear....

Transcript

Abby's podcast revealed Scotty's biggest relationship fear.... · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

0:01
Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's best music is Magic, 94.9.
0:06
Speaker 2: And welcome to a new episode of Scotty and Abby Unfiltered. Unfortunately,
0:10
Speaker 2: I feel like we kind of jinxed the raise with
0:11
Speaker 2: the past couple of podcasts because we're officially done. Don't
0:14
Speaker 2: put that on us.
0:15
Speaker 1: It's not on. Put that on Todd Bowles. Todd Bowles
0:19
Speaker 1: is the coach of the Bucs and people want him
0:21
Speaker 1: fired because the Bucs are not doing well. And I've
0:23
Speaker 1: been making this joke that he's been doing, he's been
0:26
Speaker 1: sacrificing other teams as their wins the bucks can win
0:30
Speaker 1: because the bucks just had like this random they destroyed
0:33
Speaker 1: the panthers it was like 40 to 10 or something
0:36
Speaker 1: also i promise we're not becoming a sports podcast um
0:40
Speaker 1: just i feel like it's we're in that season of
0:42
Speaker 1: life where all the teams are playing it's basketball we
0:46
Speaker 1: don't have a basketball team it's basketball it's baseball it's
0:48
Speaker 1: hockey it's football all at once, and Tampa's doing very,
0:52
Speaker 1: other than the Bucs, Tampa's doing exceptionally well.
0:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we get pretty involved in it. I mean, especially,
0:58
Speaker 2: we do so many events with these sports teams, and
1:00
Speaker 2: I'm like, it is a lot of the things that are.
1:02
Speaker 1: On our mind. I know, and I told you guys,
1:04
Speaker 1: I'm just whoring out whatever content does really well, and
1:06
Speaker 1: sports was doing well for a minute, now not so much.
1:08
Speaker 1: I need a new hyperfixation now.
1:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going on something else. There was a couple
1:12
Speaker 2: updates I needed to give as I was looking at
1:14
Speaker 2: a couple big decisions, and I'll connect this to the
1:17
Speaker 2: thing that we talked about yesterday. As I was talking about,
1:21
Speaker 2: you know, my girlfriend Brianna and I deciding that, okay,
1:23
Speaker 2: it's time. Like, let's start making the move to move
1:26
Speaker 2: in together.
1:27
Speaker 1: Moving in.
1:28
Speaker 2: Which I'm so excited. It was kind of funny as
1:31
Speaker 2: people started to hear the podcast yesterday.
1:33
Speaker 1: You're so excited to split rent.
1:36
Speaker 2: Well, that kind of connects to what I'm talking about
1:37
Speaker 2: because we talked about it and, like, she's going to
1:39
Speaker 2: move into the place that I'm living now.
1:41
Speaker 1: Are you going to make her pay rent?
1:42
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing. I don't want to make her
1:44
Speaker 2: pay rent. I wouldn't make her pay. She can move
1:46
Speaker 2: in right now.
1:47
Speaker 1: I'd be like.
1:47
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. I'll pay for everything.
1:50
Speaker 1: I'm surprised that she doesn't just like crash at your
1:52
Speaker 1: place all the time. Because she lives so far. Like
1:54
Speaker 1: when I was driving to Miami, I was probably two
1:57
Speaker 1: hours away from home. And I'm like, Arcadia?
2:01
Speaker 2: Yep.
2:01
Speaker 1: Isn't that where Brianda lives?
2:03
Speaker 2: Yep. It's far. And she does. I mean, it's now
2:06
Speaker 2: at the point where it's like split. Where like half
2:08
Speaker 2: the week in Arcadia, half the week with me. Or
2:10
Speaker 2: she'll stay with like a best friend in Tampa.
2:12
Speaker 1: Yeah.
2:12
Speaker 2: But... just to make it more permanent, to make it easier.
2:15
Speaker 2: Because here's what, like, I was talking about this with
2:17
Speaker 2: a friend. It just allows us both, if we're living together,
2:21
Speaker 2: to make sure that it's like we don't feel guilty
2:23
Speaker 2: if we're doing something with somebody else. Like, there's a
2:25
Speaker 2: weird feeling sometimes where it's like, oh my gosh, like,
2:27
Speaker 2: we finally get this chance to be together. Should I
2:30
Speaker 2: go do this, or is that going to take away
2:32
Speaker 2: time from here? Like, I don't, that now gets to
2:35
Speaker 2: go away.
2:35
Speaker 1: When we live together. Oh, because you guys are kind of,
2:37
Speaker 1: you're not long distance, but you're longish distance.
2:39
Speaker 2: Yes.
2:39
Speaker 1: That you feel like if, you don't want to give
2:43
Speaker 1: up the small moments that you guys do get together.
2:45
Speaker 2: Correct.
2:46
Speaker 1: I get that.
2:46
Speaker 2: I understand that. Like those things are so cherished. So
2:48
Speaker 2: that's super exciting. And it's just this feeling of like
2:52
Speaker 2: just being in each other's presence. There's like, Oh, this
2:54
Speaker 2: is nice. This is really nice. I can just sit
2:56
Speaker 2: there and just feel your energy. And I'm like, I
2:58
Speaker 2: feel at peace.
2:59
Speaker 1: Listen, I'm a born and bred hater. And I would
3:02
Speaker 1: tell you if you were making a mistake, but I
3:03
Speaker 1: feel like you guys are, you're like, listen, we're in
3:05
Speaker 1: our thirties. We like each other. We see this going somewhere.
3:08
Speaker 1: Why are we going to drag it out for the
3:10
Speaker 1: sake of timeline?
3:11
Speaker 2: Exactly.
3:11
Speaker 1: Because it's not like it's month three. You know, you
3:13
Speaker 1: guys have been dating nine months now.
3:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, about eight months, actually, like pretty much to this day.
3:18
Speaker 2: That is crazy.
3:18
Speaker 1: Because in my mind, you guys just started dating yesterday.
3:21
Speaker 2: Part of me feels like we just met. But at
3:22
Speaker 2: the same time, I like look at the time. I'm like,
3:24
Speaker 2: we've done so much. And I mean, you know, the
3:27
Speaker 2: first couple of months, the public didn't even know. That
3:30
Speaker 2: was kind of fun. Just keeping it behind the scenes
3:32
Speaker 2: where we weren't even announcing it yet. And so now
3:35
Speaker 2: it's like, OK, yeah, let's do this. And part of
3:37
Speaker 2: the reason, you know, she wants to pay rent. She
3:40
Speaker 2: brought it up in the car and we're talking about it.
3:41
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I want to contribute because this is
3:45
Speaker 2: going to help us both save in the long game.
3:47
Speaker 2: And this is where my wheels started turning in my mind.
3:48
Speaker 2: I was like, first off, you're talking saving. That's so sexy.
3:52
Speaker 2: I love that. Future planning. Oh, my God. So we
3:56
Speaker 2: started talking about how, yeah, we could live where you're
3:58
Speaker 2: at now. That's going to help us save so much money.
4:00
Speaker 1: Next date night to the accountant.
4:01
Speaker 2: Oh, I cannot wait. But we get to put that
4:03
Speaker 2: money toward our future plans, like whatever that conversation looks like.
4:08
Speaker 2: And this is where I started getting real with myself.
4:09
Speaker 2: I was like, if she's willing to split the rent
4:11
Speaker 2: with me and we're going to be able to save
4:12
Speaker 2: this money, I need to do the next smart thing.
4:15
Speaker 2: And this might not sound smart right away, but hear
4:19
Speaker 2: me out. I'm going to ride Sue the Subaru until
4:22
Speaker 2: she dies. I'm going to drive her. I'm not going
4:24
Speaker 2: to sell her. I'm not going to pick up a
4:26
Speaker 2: car payment. I've decided because I know I've talked about
4:28
Speaker 2: it a lot on this podcast. I'm not getting a
4:30
Speaker 2: new car.
4:31
Speaker 1: I think that is the smartest decision that you could
4:33
Speaker 1: make at this point in time because you spent $ 7, 000
4:36
Speaker 1: on it. Okay. So that's okay.
4:37
Speaker 2: You know what was weird though is because my brain
4:40
Speaker 2: said I spent like nearly $ 7, 000. I might as well
4:43
Speaker 2: sell it. so I could make that money back.
4:46
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna make that money back.
4:48
Speaker 2: I don't know. I definitely won't now, because now I decided,
4:50
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna ride it,
4:52
Speaker 2: because it drives great now. I had everything fixed.
4:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was about to say, I'm like, you basically
4:56
Speaker 1: got a new car.
4:58
Speaker 2: Pretty much. It drives great, and I figured, you know what?
5:01
Speaker 2: Why not just keep this life of not having a car?
5:03
Speaker 2: Why would I throw on an extra $ 500, $ 600 a month?
5:05
Speaker 2: Is that how much car payments are? Yeah, I mean,
5:08
Speaker 2: it was very tough. If I was going to get
5:11
Speaker 2: new $ 600, $ 700, used $ 500, $ 600.
5:15
Speaker 1: Really?
5:16
Speaker 2: Maybe $ 400.
5:17
Speaker 1: Did I just get lucky? Because I bought my car
5:19
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, and I remember being... I remember sitting
5:22
Speaker 1: in my car for the first time and going... holy shit,
5:26
Speaker 1: I just bought something worth five figures. I'm too young
5:31
Speaker 1: for this. Can I afford this? And I remember just
5:35
Speaker 1: looking at the big sticker number, which I think my
5:37
Speaker 1: car was maybe 20,000 something or whatever. And I remember
5:41
Speaker 1: just going- I'm going to go bankrupt. I'm going to
5:44
Speaker 1: have to live with my parents forever. And then it
5:46
Speaker 1: was literally fine because my car payment was like $ 200
5:48
Speaker 1: a month.
5:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I could get, well, $ 200 a month would
5:50
Speaker 2: be awesome.
5:51
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I mean is I'm like, how much
5:53
Speaker 1: are cars nowadays?
5:54
Speaker 2: They're up there. They're really up there. Like I was
5:55
Speaker 2: looking at used and probably used would have been like $ 28, 000
5:57
Speaker 2: somewhere around there. What kind of car were you trying
6:01
Speaker 2: to get? That was like the three I was looking at,
6:04
Speaker 2: like the Mach-E from Ford.
6:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were looking at fancy people cars. I
6:08
Speaker 1: drive a Maserati.
6:09
Speaker 2: Your car's nice, though, too.
6:10
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. My car is a nice car.
6:13
Speaker 2: That's how I looked at mine. I was like, wait
6:15
Speaker 2: a second. My car is nice. I like the size
6:18
Speaker 2: of it. One of the things that I didn't like
6:19
Speaker 2: about going down, if I was going to get the Mach-E,
6:22
Speaker 2: like the little Mustang electric one from Ford, is it's smaller.
6:25
Speaker 2: That was the one thing I was like, ah, I'm
6:27
Speaker 2: not a big fan of that because I'm used to
6:28
Speaker 2: this SUV. So I'm going to keep the car. I
6:30
Speaker 2: get to keep the space. And you know what? It
6:33
Speaker 2: could probably give me another, I don't know, 60,000 to 80,000 miles.
6:38
Speaker 2: Why not drive it for another year, year and a half,
6:40
Speaker 2: two years, and that extra money? Again, because my priorities,
6:44
Speaker 2: this is where I had to look in my head.
6:45
Speaker 2: I was like, my priorities are getting a house. That's
6:48
Speaker 2: more of the priority versus a car because it would
6:50
Speaker 2: be exciting. That'd be so exciting to drive a new car.
6:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a new toy. But after a year,
6:55
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, now it's just this thing that I
6:56
Speaker 1: have to pay for.
6:57
Speaker 2: Exactly.
6:58
Speaker 1: And honestly, all cars are kind of like iPhones. They're
7:00
Speaker 1: all the same after. Once you get to a certain level,
7:04
Speaker 1: for me, I remember wanting a new car because I
7:07
Speaker 1: needed one because my car kept breaking down. And I
7:11
Speaker 1: wanted leather seats. But now that I have leather seats
7:13
Speaker 1: and CarPlay, I'm like, I don't need anything else.
7:15
Speaker 2: What else could you add?
7:16
Speaker 1: I have air conditioning. You know, it fits my lifestyle.
7:20
Speaker 1: I don't have to pay for it now. I'm running
7:22
Speaker 1: the shit into the ground.
7:22
Speaker 2: Yeah. And that's how I looked at it, too. I
7:24
Speaker 2: was like, I could pay more. But I'm like, they
7:25
Speaker 2: literally they all do the same. Even if you get
7:28
Speaker 2: the fanciest ones. I had friends that were like, you
7:30
Speaker 2: need to get a Tesla. And again, if you drive
7:32
Speaker 2: a Tesla, that's awesome. I think they're nice. But the
7:34
Speaker 2: one thing I didn't like about them is I was like,
7:36
Speaker 2: they only have one screen. It's kind of boring to me.
7:38
Speaker 2: It's like one giant screen. I like to have the
7:40
Speaker 2: wrap around the screen in front of me, the screen
7:43
Speaker 2: to the side of me. Like, I don't want to
7:45
Speaker 2: just do the one. It was almost too fancy.
7:46
Speaker 1: Okay, Oppenheimer. He's like, I need a full on setup.
7:49
Speaker 2: I like to feel like I'm in this.
7:50
Speaker 1: He's like, I want the nuclear codes to my Tesla.
7:54
Speaker 2: Well, it's the decision I decided. I'm putting my foot down.
7:56
Speaker 2: I'm not selling the car. I'm saving the money. Yeah.
7:58
Speaker 2: Because now we got future plans after. that conversation I
8:01
Speaker 2: think that's.
8:01
Speaker 1: Very smart and also my other fear is like even
8:04
Speaker 1: like let's say somebody dropped into my life and said
8:06
Speaker 1: Abby I'm gonna give you a $ 200, 000 um I don't
8:10
Speaker 1: know what's a fancy car like a g-wagon oh yeah
8:12
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you I don't want to drive a
8:13
Speaker 1: g-wagon a because I think they're ugly but b I
8:16
Speaker 1: don't want people to target me because it looks like I.
8:19
Speaker 2: Have a lot of money oh that's so true I
8:21
Speaker 2: mean like I feel.
8:21
Speaker 1: Like I was thinking about this the other day I
8:23
Speaker 1: think someone was trying to target me which is so
8:25
Speaker 1: funny because I think I was like 22 at the
8:26
Speaker 1: time was trying to like pretend that I had like
8:31
Speaker 1: hit them for like a personal injury thing. And I
8:33
Speaker 1: remember sitting in my car and like some guy came
8:35
Speaker 1: up to me. He's like, you almost hit me. Meanwhile,
8:37
Speaker 1: I'm on like a back road. There's nobody out here.
8:39
Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't do anything actually. But you're 22
8:42
Speaker 1: and a woman, so you blame yourself for everything. I'm like,
8:44
Speaker 1: I don't know.
8:44
Speaker 2: I definitely did do something.
8:45
Speaker 1: But I look back on that. I'm like, was I,
8:48
Speaker 1: was someone trying to like plant, plant me as some
8:51
Speaker 1: kind of like personal injury thing and trying to like
8:53
Speaker 1: get money out of me. And then once he realized
8:55
Speaker 1: I was 22 and had no money, he was like, oh,
8:56
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't frame this girl.
8:58
Speaker 2: That's so effed up. Like you're going to try to play.
9:01
Speaker 2: People do that all the time.
9:02
Speaker 1: But I think if you drive a fancy car, people
9:04
Speaker 1: will either a fuck up your car because you know, it's,
9:08
Speaker 1: Anybody can do anything to your car and they're probably
9:10
Speaker 1: going to get away with it. And then if you're
9:13
Speaker 1: just like bopping around and then, you know, someone goes
9:16
Speaker 1: out of their way to try and make you hit them.
9:19
Speaker 1: I feel like they sometimes, I don't know, not target
9:21
Speaker 1: rich people, but I do feel like they target people
9:22
Speaker 1: who look like they have a lot of money.
9:24
Speaker 2: A hundred percent.
9:24
Speaker 1: I don't want people breaking into my car because, you know,
9:27
Speaker 1: I have a $ 200, 000 car. What's in the car? You know,
9:29
Speaker 1: I'm happy driving my shitty little Mazda. so nobody targets me.
9:32
Speaker 2: And that's at like the end of the day they
9:34
Speaker 2: literally they just they just drive as long as i
9:37
Speaker 2: can listen to music and drive like i'm good like
9:40
Speaker 2: even in i and i always wondered you know because
9:43
Speaker 2: of course when you get so much money eventually you're
9:45
Speaker 2: just going to want to buy other things so maybe
9:47
Speaker 2: you buy a fancy car but you get all these
9:48
Speaker 2: cars that drive like so fast like they have i
9:51
Speaker 2: was just watching again back to tesla you saw the
9:53
Speaker 2: whole video with the new like roadster i want nothing
9:56
Speaker 2: to do with that yeah well like beside the flying
9:58
Speaker 2: capabilities it also has a co so it could go faster.
10:01
Speaker 2: So it goes like zero to 60 in under a second.
10:04
Speaker 1: What do we need that for?
10:05
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Do you know what I mean?
10:06
Speaker 1: Like where are you driving to where it would be
10:08
Speaker 1: safe for you to go 60 miles per hour in
10:10
Speaker 1: a second?
10:10
Speaker 2: I have no idea because no highway here are you
10:12
Speaker 2: going to have that much open road to just crank it.
10:15
Speaker 1: And think about the insurance on that, too. You're paying
10:17
Speaker 1: like $ 1, 000 a month in insurance because your car flies.
10:21
Speaker 1: You're driving in a small hovercraft.
10:23
Speaker 2: Well, that's what they're saying on the video. They're like,
10:25
Speaker 2: this isn't even street legal. So, like, this is one
10:27
Speaker 2: of those things that, for right now, you just got
10:30
Speaker 2: to be the super-duper rich. Or we have the place.
10:32
Speaker 2: You went to the Motor Enclave in Tampa.
10:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:35
Speaker 2: That would be a place that somebody would have a
10:36
Speaker 2: flying Tesla.
10:37
Speaker 1: So it could be like a toy.
10:38
Speaker 2: Yes.
10:38
Speaker 1: I'm fine with a toy, but what happens when they
10:40
Speaker 1: fly the hovercraft off of the, off of like the,
10:43
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, do you need like a,
10:45
Speaker 1: like are they going to shoot it down? Do you
10:47
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
10:47
Speaker 2: That's a good point. I don't, it's not going to
10:49
Speaker 2: be able to fly long because it is like just
10:51
Speaker 2: a big old jug of CO2 or whatever. Yeah. So
10:54
Speaker 2: it's limited.
10:55
Speaker 1: Now we're killing the earth more.
10:56
Speaker 2: I don't know. All for the capability to look like
10:59
Speaker 2: you're flying, but. I hate it. When do they decide
11:01
Speaker 2: that that's going to be a norm?
11:03
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes I think about death and I go,
11:05
Speaker 1: you know what? I'm really glad I'm going to be
11:07
Speaker 1: gone at some point because I don't want to deal
11:09
Speaker 1: with this.
11:09
Speaker 2: Well, that's the part that freaks me out. I'm like,
11:11
Speaker 2: if this is now and we're like, okay, I just
11:14
Speaker 2: turned 30 and we're like, what happens at like, I
11:17
Speaker 2: don't know. I think of like my dad's age. Like
11:19
Speaker 2: what happens when I turn like 60? What does technology
11:23
Speaker 2: look like then? Yeah. If this is what we have.
11:25
Speaker 2: And I'm sure that's what you thought, like, if you're
11:27
Speaker 2: now in your, like, 50s or 60s. Maybe that's what
11:29
Speaker 2: it felt like when you're 30 or 20. But this
11:32
Speaker 2: seems like, I don't know, we got robots doing chores.
11:35
Speaker 2: We got AI that can do everything. The school system's all, like,
11:37
Speaker 2: trying to figure out the AI situation.
11:39
Speaker 1: Perfect. I'm going to have a robot husband by the
11:40
Speaker 1: time men die out as a species.
11:43
Speaker 2: That's what one of my friends says. He's like, why
11:45
Speaker 2: am I going to look for a girlfriend? They're going
11:46
Speaker 2: to have robot girlfriends soon. I could just date her.
11:48
Speaker 2: She knows everything I like. I'm like, well, I guess.
11:52
Speaker 2: kind of freaky.
11:53
Speaker 1: It's my dream life. I'm going to be 70 years old,
11:55
Speaker 1: still a lonely cat woman. I'll be like, thank God
11:57
Speaker 1: that Tesla created the robot man.
11:59
Speaker 2: The robot boyfriend.
12:00
Speaker 1: I'll call him Rob. Me and my young stud Rob.
12:04
Speaker 2: He could do anything your heart desires.
12:07
Speaker 1: Thank God. I'll be like, I've been waiting a long
12:08
Speaker 1: time for this Rob. Finally losing my virginity at 72.
12:11
Speaker 1: Oh God.
12:14
Speaker 2: Well, there you go. There's my update with the whole
12:17
Speaker 2: car situation. So thank you for the recommendations. And a
12:19
Speaker 2: lot of people told me to get it to a
12:21
Speaker 2: scrap yard or Sell it to a school and let
12:23
Speaker 2: them work on it as students. I'm keeping the thing.
12:27
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep her until she breaks down on me.
12:29
Speaker 2: And once that happens, then.
12:31
Speaker 1: I'll get rid of her.
12:31
Speaker 2: Are you talking about your girlfriend? Well, anyway, any updates
12:35
Speaker 2: from you, Abby?
12:36
Speaker 1: I wish I had something exciting to tell you, but
12:38
Speaker 1: I don't.
12:39
Speaker 2: No.
12:40
Speaker 1: I don't. I have no updates unless there's any probing questions.
12:44
Speaker 2: I had something to run by you, so there's a
12:46
Speaker 2: couple things I want to run by you. First off,
12:48
Speaker 2: there's a new thing I saw as I was just
12:50
Speaker 2: going through some of the things in the show. Have
12:52
Speaker 2: you heard of this thing called the saying no retreat?
12:54
Speaker 1: The saying no retreat?
12:56
Speaker 2: That's me going home. You want to go out? No.
13:00
Speaker 2: That's kind of what it is. It's people are finally realizing.
13:02
Speaker 2: They go on these retreats to discover, like, what is
13:05
Speaker 2: it that you need to say no to?
13:07
Speaker 1: I need to say yes more. Oh, really? Yeah.
13:10
Speaker 2: Are you in your yes year? Have you read the— I
13:12
Speaker 2: read a book that just— I loved it. It was, you know,
13:14
Speaker 2: what is it? The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.
13:17
Speaker 2: I recommend it.
13:18
Speaker 1: I love Shonda.
13:19
Speaker 2: You will love the book. It's her year of yes.
13:21
Speaker 2: And she kind of breaks it down for you of like,
13:23
Speaker 2: make this your year of yes. There's an opportunity. Yes.
13:26
Speaker 2: There's a going out. Yes. There's a date. Yes. And
13:30
Speaker 2: you see how it's like it just opened up her
13:32
Speaker 2: life in so many ways that she would have never
13:33
Speaker 2: had that. Because I think in the book, it's like
13:37
Speaker 2: it starts out like she's just so into the writing.
13:39
Speaker 2: She just wants to write. All she wants to do
13:41
Speaker 2: is create the worlds that we know, you know, Grey's
13:43
Speaker 2: Anatomy and all that. She's like, I needed to break
13:45
Speaker 2: out of that. I needed to change up my life.
13:47
Speaker 2: So I started saying yes. It's very fascinating.
13:50
Speaker 1: I do feel like this year has been more of
13:52
Speaker 1: the year of yes. Like I've just kind of put
13:55
Speaker 1: job stuff on the back burner.
13:56
Speaker 2: Yeah.
13:57
Speaker 1: Just because like when I was on the Bert show,
13:59
Speaker 1: like my life very much revolved around, you know, you've
14:01
Speaker 1: got to be on for four hours with 15 other people.
14:04
Speaker 1: So like going out on a Tuesday, not that you
14:08
Speaker 1: shouldn't do that every now and then, but like I
14:11
Speaker 1: would say no to that stuff constantly. Like, oh, I
14:13
Speaker 1: can't drink Tuesday because I'm, you know, I've got the show.
14:15
Speaker 1: Whereas I feel like I'm just a little bit more
14:17
Speaker 1: relaxed career-wise because I'm like, everything is meaningless and it
14:19
Speaker 1: can all go away immediately. That, you know, I do
14:22
Speaker 1: find myself doing more stuff on the weekdays and just
14:25
Speaker 1: kind of being like, whatever. Sure, I'll post 15 times
14:28
Speaker 1: on Instagram in one day. What the fuck's going to happen?
14:30
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? What am I going
14:31
Speaker 1: to do? Get fired from my job and have to
14:33
Speaker 1: move to another city? Okay. Been there, done that. Been there,
14:36
Speaker 1: done that, bitch. You know how to do it. I
14:38
Speaker 1: will say, I guess if I had to say I
14:39
Speaker 1: had a year of yes, I would say that this
14:41
Speaker 1: is the year of yes-ish.
14:43
Speaker 2: I like that.
14:43
Speaker 1: Because I don't like the idea of being blindly bound
14:47
Speaker 1: to the yes.
14:48
Speaker 2: Yeah. You don't have to say yes to everything. You
14:49
Speaker 2: want to go do drugs?
14:51
Speaker 1: Yeah.
14:51
Speaker 2: It's the year of yes. Yes.
14:52
Speaker 1: Because I thought about that on Tuesday where I was like,
14:55
Speaker 1: you know, I could stay at Ferg's a little bit
14:57
Speaker 1: longer because I had a friend who was like, oh,
14:58
Speaker 1: I'm going to come at 830. But I was like,
15:00
Speaker 1: I'm so old. I'm like, I'm tired. I still have
15:03
Speaker 1: to edit the podcast and like I You know, I
15:05
Speaker 1: don't want my sleep schedule to get fucked up. But
15:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, it might have been fun to
15:09
Speaker 1: stay because we went into triple overtime.
15:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. I wish. Here's a weird thing. And
15:16
Speaker 2: this is not me at all complaining about what we do.
15:19
Speaker 2: But with what we do, it's very hard to just
15:21
Speaker 2: be like, let's say somebody went out for that extra
15:23
Speaker 2: innings game. And they could call in sick the next
15:26
Speaker 2: day to work and be like, all right, I'm going
15:27
Speaker 2: to work from home. That's not an option.
15:29
Speaker 1: You don't really get that option. Which, to be fair,
15:32
Speaker 1: our job isn't that mentally taxing. You could come in
15:38
Speaker 1: to work hungover and be fine.
15:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. It hurts because it's early.
15:41
Speaker 1: It hurts and it sucks. But I think with it
15:43
Speaker 1: being a Tuesday, because sometimes I'll go out on a Thursday.
15:46
Speaker 1: I'm like, whatever. I just have to push through Friday
15:47
Speaker 1: and it's fine. And usually on Fridays, like, we're out
15:49
Speaker 1: here by, like, nine. We're, like, bees out. Whereas if
15:52
Speaker 1: you fuck up on Tuesday, then your Wednesday is fucked up.
15:56
Speaker 1: And then what if you do want to do something
15:58
Speaker 1: on Thursday, then your Thursday's fucked up. Then I'm like,
16:00
Speaker 1: you know what? I'm just going to take... We're probably
16:01
Speaker 1: going to lose anyway. And then we didn't lose. And
16:03
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, that would have been fun.
16:04
Speaker 2: That would have been a good one. Like, to actually
16:06
Speaker 2: get tickets to go, that would have been legendary.
16:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would have been sick.
16:08
Speaker 2: But it is hard, though, because it's like you say, like,
16:09
Speaker 2: it compounds. Like, what I notice now is my... Like,
16:12
Speaker 2: what happened earlier this week? I was, like, pushing hard.
16:15
Speaker 2: I think on the weekend. And then we went and
16:16
Speaker 2: had dinner with friends on... Monday night, we had that scheduled,
16:20
Speaker 2: but then Tuesday, all that compa- like, I just crashed.
16:23
Speaker 1: Boom.
16:24
Speaker 2: I got home, I laid down, and I was down
16:26
Speaker 2: for three hours. I was like, shit! Alright, there's my limit.
16:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
16:30
Speaker 2: I can't keep going, because then I get, like, crazy
16:33
Speaker 2: in my head, where I'm like, alright, I can't get
16:35
Speaker 2: anything done until I lay down. And then it's like that,
16:37
Speaker 2: where I'm like, well- Now I'm horizontal.
16:40
Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
16:40
Speaker 2: Now I'm horizontal on a Tuesday.
16:41
Speaker 1: I did read a story, though. And by read a story,
16:44
Speaker 1: I mean I listened to a TikTok by a guy
16:45
Speaker 1: who graduated three years ago from a mid-tier university. He
16:49
Speaker 1: talked about the power of sleeping in the middle of
16:52
Speaker 1: the day. Like somebody did a study. It was like
16:56
Speaker 1: college athletes or something where they took people who slept
17:00
Speaker 1: five hours a night and then slept in the middle
17:03
Speaker 1: of the day. Like they slept for like 90 minutes
17:05
Speaker 1: after 2 p.m. Yeah. And then they studied the performance
17:09
Speaker 1: of people who slept nine hours a night but didn't
17:11
Speaker 1: sleep in the middle of the day. And the people
17:13
Speaker 1: that slept in the middle of the day, even though
17:15
Speaker 1: they only got five hours during the course of the night,
17:18
Speaker 1: performed better than the people who got nine hours of sleep.
17:20
Speaker 2: That's fascinating.
17:20
Speaker 1: Isn't that interesting? Because I feel like that's our sleep schedule.
17:23
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:23
Speaker 1: Because there are some nights where I'll sleep like, I
17:25
Speaker 1: sleep on average like six and a half hours, which
17:28
Speaker 1: is not bad.
17:29
Speaker 2: No.
17:29
Speaker 1: But it's not, I need to get like one more
17:31
Speaker 1: hour of sleep.
17:31
Speaker 2: That'd be great.
17:32
Speaker 1: It's usually just me like pushing the buttons a little
17:34
Speaker 1: bit where I'm like, I could stay up a little
17:35
Speaker 1: bit longer. But then usually I'll come home and it
17:39
Speaker 1: is like better than anything getting to lay down on
17:43
Speaker 1: the couch and just knock out. Like you're done with
17:46
Speaker 1: work for the day for the most part. It's like
17:47
Speaker 1: 1 p.m. You have nothing to do and you can just...
17:51
Speaker 1: And then you wake up and you're like, what year
17:53
Speaker 1: is it?
17:53
Speaker 2: Well, that's the problem. If I could get it to
17:55
Speaker 2: where I wake up and I feel refreshed, but when
17:57
Speaker 2: I woke up on Tuesday, I felt like I was
17:59
Speaker 2: on a different planet. My hair was messed up. I
18:02
Speaker 2: was kind of dizzy. I was like, what the fuck?
18:04
Speaker 2: Where am I? I got on the phone with Brianna
18:06
Speaker 2: and was like, I can't even think straight. I couldn't
18:08
Speaker 2: even put the other sentences.
18:09
Speaker 1: It's because you get into that deep, deep, deep REM sleep.
18:12
Speaker 1: And so that's essentially what they found was that when
18:14
Speaker 1: you get just like 90 minutes in the middle of
18:15
Speaker 1: the day, you get one full sleep cycle and then
18:17
Speaker 1: you're done. So your body's like, oh, hello.
18:19
Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:20
Speaker 1: We're good.
18:21
Speaker 2: It's hard to time it out. But that's fascinating because
18:23
Speaker 2: I heard like literally the direct opposite like two days ago.
18:26
Speaker 1: Really?
18:27
Speaker 2: Don't take naps. I mean, that's kind of all the
18:29
Speaker 2: post said. So I don't know how much science was
18:31
Speaker 2: put behind it.
18:31
Speaker 1: So nothing.
18:32
Speaker 2: Yeah. It might have been a little more intense.
18:33
Speaker 1: And listen, Josh from... Middle Tennessee University said that he
18:38
Speaker 1: read a study and I just took his word for it.
18:40
Speaker 2: I guess you know what it is, is there is
18:42
Speaker 2: so much science, but also you have to do what's
18:44
Speaker 2: best for your body. We do have a friend that
18:47
Speaker 2: does that. We're like our friend. I don't know, Beth.
18:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, why can't you say Beth?
18:53
Speaker 2: I don't know.
18:54
Speaker 1: Is Beth like a slur in some countries?
18:56
Speaker 2: Well, I just don't like to throw people's like, you know.
18:58
Speaker 1: She sleeps in the middle of the day?
19:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like hardcore because she works the early like
19:02
Speaker 2: news shift. So she's up at like two. We'll go like,
19:06
Speaker 2: I don't know, two to noon. Yeah. Sleep from like.
19:10
Speaker 2: three to five or something like that. It's like, she
19:12
Speaker 2: posted it on Instagram once and then stays up. Like
19:14
Speaker 2: we'll go out and do activities, go on dates. And
19:17
Speaker 2: then at 10 goes back to sleep, 10 to two
19:20
Speaker 2: getting four hours. And then just that cycle. And I
19:23
Speaker 2: remember that I'm like, how do you do that? It
19:25
Speaker 2: works for her.
19:26
Speaker 1: But I, it makes sense. I mean, cause sometimes I
19:29
Speaker 1: have to sleep in the middle of the day, but
19:30
Speaker 1: then sometimes I don't. And so people are like, well,
19:32
Speaker 1: your sleep schedule must be so weird. I'm like, I
19:34
Speaker 1: feel like it's not weird. I feel like we just
19:36
Speaker 1: have a more flexible sleep schedule actually. Maybe not flexible.
19:40
Speaker 1: I take that back because, again, I could have stayed
19:42
Speaker 1: out on Tuesday had we not had to be up
19:44
Speaker 1: at 5 a.m. the next day. But like when we're done,
19:48
Speaker 1: you know, I technically have the whole afternoon if I
19:50
Speaker 1: want to pass out if I want.
19:51
Speaker 2: There is flexibility there. Like, you have room. Like, if
19:54
Speaker 2: you wake up feeling horrible, all right, just get to
19:57
Speaker 2: 10 and go crash for a little bit. But what
20:00
Speaker 2: I was thinking, like, probably yesterday, I was like, I
20:02
Speaker 2: just want to see. I need to do an experiment.
20:04
Speaker 2: And this is another thing that will help when Brianna
20:06
Speaker 2: and I live together. It's like, I want to see
20:08
Speaker 2: what it's like. For me to get consistent like seven
20:10
Speaker 2: plus hours. Because I do that on the weekends. Maybe
20:13
Speaker 2: like a Saturday night. Probably actually that's it. But I
20:16
Speaker 2: haven't done that since like college. Maybe freshman year of
20:18
Speaker 2: college was the last time that I was able to like,
20:20
Speaker 2: I don't know, seven plus hours consistently. Because right now
20:24
Speaker 2: I'm rocking. I'm doing an average of five and a half.
20:26
Speaker 2: Just because the games have been on. Or I'll get
20:28
Speaker 2: on the phone late at night and we'll just be chatting.
20:30
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I just want to see what it's like.
20:32
Speaker 2: I want to see the difference. And if I feel
20:34
Speaker 2: tremendously better, then I'll keep it. If I don't feel
20:36
Speaker 2: anything at all, well, then I'm fine. Yeah. You know,
20:39
Speaker 2: like I just want to test it to see if
20:41
Speaker 2: that's the right schedule for me because maybe it's not.
20:44
Speaker 2: Like my coach thinks it is with the whole running
20:45
Speaker 2: 100 miles. She's like, you need to be sleeping seven
20:48
Speaker 2: hours to fully recover.
20:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to recover because otherwise your body is,
20:51
Speaker 1: you're just going to wear down the stress.
20:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think that's what's happening right now where
20:54
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we need to switch some things, audit.
20:58
Speaker 2: We got to kind of move some things, but that
20:59
Speaker 2: will help when we're living together because then it's, all right,
21:01
Speaker 2: we're in the same living situation. We're not staying up
21:05
Speaker 2: on the phone doing all those things. So another, just
21:07
Speaker 2: everything's a perk. Everything's the perk of it.
21:09
Speaker 1: I love that for you.
21:10
Speaker 2: Thanks, thanks.
21:11
Speaker 1: You know what happens when you live alone? You can
21:12
Speaker 1: go to sleep whenever the fuck you want. It's great.
21:15
Speaker 1: I love that I'm not on somebody else's sleep schedule.
21:17
Speaker 2: If there was a camera in my apartment as I'm
21:19
Speaker 2: living alone, I would be put as an insane person
21:22
Speaker 2: for how I live. Not just because of the sleep schedule,
21:24
Speaker 2: but like, what are you like? Okay, when you're alone
21:27
Speaker 2: in your house, what are you like in your alone setting?
21:31
Speaker 1: So boring. Is it really? Yeah, yeah. If there's a
21:33
Speaker 1: live stream on me, people are like, God, this girl
21:35
Speaker 1: does nothing. It's me... You know, answering emails, sometimes me
21:40
Speaker 1: planning stuff on my computer, sleeping, playing with my cats.
21:43
Speaker 1: It's a lot of me like grooming my cats. My
21:46
Speaker 1: cat Betty's going through like a weird dandruff phase and
21:48
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out whether I need to get
21:49
Speaker 1: her like omega-3 pills so that her coat starts to
21:52
Speaker 1: like oil up. her skin glands or something. She's got
21:55
Speaker 1: a lot of dandruff. I'm like, I need to get
21:57
Speaker 1: this mofo some head and shoulders. Um, and then I
22:00
Speaker 1: know I go on walks. I eat a lot of
22:02
Speaker 1: sweet treats. That's what you would see. You would see
22:04
Speaker 1: me going to Publix a lot. I go to Publix
22:07
Speaker 1: and then I get my ice cream. I eat my
22:08
Speaker 1: ice cream and then I put it away.
22:12
Speaker 2: So are you in the, like the middle of the day?
22:14
Speaker 2: Is it like, is a TV on? Are you playing music?
22:17
Speaker 2: Are you singing? Cause I walked through my apartment and
22:19
Speaker 2: this is where I mean, like I look like a psychopath. Yeah.
22:21
Speaker 2: Like I, crank up, I don't know, sometimes it's like
22:24
Speaker 2: hood shit. Like, just rap, rock, country, all the things.
22:28
Speaker 2: And I'm just singing, dancing, because that's the only way
22:30
Speaker 2: I can get myself to do it. If I don't
22:32
Speaker 2: do that, I pass out.
22:34
Speaker 1: Well, then if that's what works for you, then that's
22:36
Speaker 1: what works for you.
22:37
Speaker 2: I guess. But I always wonder, like, because this is
22:38
Speaker 2: my first time rocking the solo in a house. Like,
22:41
Speaker 2: I've always had to live by somebody else's rules a
22:43
Speaker 2: little bit, so I've never been able to just let
22:45
Speaker 2: it rip fully.
22:46
Speaker 1: That's what I was wondering, like, how are you gonna
22:47
Speaker 1: handle that with, you've only had that for a short
22:50
Speaker 1: period of time.
22:50
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Luckily, Brianna and I
22:53
Speaker 2: are pretty similar in that way. Like, that's the thing
22:55
Speaker 2: that I'm like, damn, you get me. Like, I let
22:58
Speaker 2: out my weird, and then, like, she lets out her weird,
23:00
Speaker 2: and it's like, weirds combine.
23:02
Speaker 1: Yeah.
23:02
Speaker 2: Oh, wow. Everyone else that she's always been annoying to.
23:06
Speaker 1: This is kind of cool. It's like the Dr. Seuss quote, like,
23:08
Speaker 1: life's a little weird, we're all a little weird, but
23:09
Speaker 1: when you find someone whose weirdness is you're weird... You
23:12
Speaker 1: call it love.
23:13
Speaker 2: Isn't that beautiful? That is beautiful. Well, that's luckily how
23:21
Speaker 2: it is. But again, the space we're living in, it's small.
23:24
Speaker 2: So get back to me in four months to see,
23:28
Speaker 2: you know, we need to take more breaks in the
23:29
Speaker 2: middle of the day and just go do our work
23:31
Speaker 2: at a coffee shop instead of me just blasting my
23:34
Speaker 2: songs while she's trying to get work done in the kitchen.
23:36
Speaker 2: You know, the balance of it all. So. I'm just
23:39
Speaker 2: curious on how you live. If like, is it silent
23:41
Speaker 2: in the house?
23:42
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's silent. I mean, I definitely,
23:45
Speaker 1: I'm not someone who blasts music unless I'm like getting
23:48
Speaker 1: ready or if I am cleaning, like I'll turn on
23:50
Speaker 1: the TV or I'll turn on music. Like I listened
23:52
Speaker 1: to a lot of music.
23:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
23:53
Speaker 1: Like I am Spotify's top 0.00008% user, which I know
23:59
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say as someone who's.
24:00
Speaker 2: On the radio. it's fine we all use it you're.
24:03
Speaker 1: Listening to this on Spotify right now I listen to
24:06
Speaker 1: a lot of music I listen to a lot of
24:07
Speaker 1: audio books big audio book gal not a big podcast.
24:11
Speaker 2: Gal weirdly enough I'm glad that you listen to this
24:15
Speaker 2: podcast but there's so many out there that it's like
24:18
Speaker 2: I would listen to one and eventually it's like you
24:20
Speaker 2: see the podcast change right before your eyes that's not
24:24
Speaker 2: why I got involved with this like what personality more
24:28
Speaker 2: driven podcast I used to like who did I used
24:30
Speaker 2: to like listening to A lot of the celebrity ones.
24:33
Speaker 2: I can't think of specific ones. I usually go into
24:35
Speaker 2: it more, though, with, like, I need to learn something.
24:36
Speaker 2: If I'm going to listen to your podcast. So, like,
24:38
Speaker 2: I listen to, like, Mel Robbins' podcast a lot. I
24:41
Speaker 2: listen to The Diary of a CEO.
24:43
Speaker 1: That one's great.
24:44
Speaker 2: Because I love just hearing these minds that are like, oh.
24:47
Speaker 2: That's such a deep perspective.
24:49
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about podcasts is I appreciate that
24:51
Speaker 1: you guys listen to us. But when it comes to
24:53
Speaker 1: talking head podcasts, that's not my genre that I enjoy
24:56
Speaker 1: listening to. So it's so ironic. Like, I feel like
24:58
Speaker 1: such a hypocrite that we do a talking heads podcast.
25:00
Speaker 1: But I think I'm like you in the sense that, like,
25:03
Speaker 1: if I'm turning on a podcast, there's an answer to
25:06
Speaker 1: a question I have. Yes. And it doesn't necessarily need
25:09
Speaker 1: to be something philosophical. It's just like, oh my God,
25:11
Speaker 1: I watched that episode of The Bachelor. I want to
25:13
Speaker 1: hear more from this person who was on that season.
25:14
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
25:15
Speaker 1: Like you're getting something out of it that's specific. And
25:17
Speaker 1: I think that's why when I was producing my podcast,
25:19
Speaker 1: The Breakup Breakdown, like I liked doing it because it
25:22
Speaker 1: was always going to answer a question at the beginning. Like,
25:25
Speaker 1: why did these people break up? Or like, what's the tea?
25:27
Speaker 1: Whereas I feel like for me, a lot of people
25:31
Speaker 1: who like talking head podcasts, that's me for music. Like
25:35
Speaker 1: I like listening to music. and maladaptive daydreaming.
25:38
Speaker 2: Because it keeps my brain active. Yeah, I think that's
25:41
Speaker 2: what it is for me. Like, when I get home,
25:42
Speaker 2: I've noticed when it's silent, I'm like, my energy goes
25:47
Speaker 2: right down. I'm like, I need some kind of stimulus. Which,
25:49
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's always good, because sometimes it's
25:51
Speaker 2: good to sit with your thoughts, but I'm able to
25:52
Speaker 2: still get those thoughts in while music's playing.
25:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it's good to have balance.
25:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's true. Oh, what was I just about
25:57
Speaker 2: to say with that podcast? Ah, oh, your breakup breakdown.
26:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
26:00
Speaker 2: That just brought up another point that I was thinking of,
26:03
Speaker 2: and I find it interesting. I didn't think about your
26:04
Speaker 2: podcast when I thought about this, but I want to
26:07
Speaker 2: have a podcast or a conversation or a book. And
26:11
Speaker 2: this goes back to seeing all the friends that have
26:13
Speaker 2: been divorced really quickly. And I'm just always curious because
26:16
Speaker 2: you've talked to so many people that have broken up.
26:18
Speaker 1: Yeah.
26:18
Speaker 2: I wonder what that looks like on the divorce scale.
26:20
Speaker 2: What do you mean? Because I've had just saw another
26:24
Speaker 2: person on my Instagram, like, you know, relationship in college.
26:28
Speaker 2: They're the person that you always knew where they're going
26:29
Speaker 2: to be together. They were inseparable.
26:31
Speaker 1: Yes.
26:31
Speaker 2: They get married and two years later, they're divorced.
26:33
Speaker 1: So like that's kind of the whole premise of the podcast.
26:35
Speaker 2: Yes.
26:36
Speaker 1: And so it's not just breakups like it's divorces. It's
26:39
Speaker 1: friendship breakups, all those things. And I think it was
26:43
Speaker 1: really crazy. It was like this long research study doing
26:47
Speaker 1: this podcast where it's like, why do people stay in
26:49
Speaker 1: bad relationships? Because ultimately it's not always this person just
26:53
Speaker 1: did something and that's why we broke up. It's usually
26:56
Speaker 1: these people staying with each other because of the sunken
26:59
Speaker 1: cost fallacy. Like, oh, we've been together for eight years.
27:01
Speaker 1: Like we should get married or, you know, because being
27:05
Speaker 1: single is scary. I mean, like you look at someone
27:06
Speaker 1: like me who's been single pretty much their whole lives
27:09
Speaker 1: and And it's like, well, I don't want to do that.
27:12
Speaker 1: At the very least, I have a companion. And I
27:14
Speaker 1: think as I've gotten older, I have more of an
27:17
Speaker 1: appreciation for why you would choose that. I think I
27:19
Speaker 1: never really understood that where I'm like, being single is
27:21
Speaker 1: not that bad. But living life as a single person
27:25
Speaker 1: is incredibly difficult. I'm not trying to get on my
27:28
Speaker 1: soapbox and be like, it's so much harder than it.
27:30
Speaker 1: Because there's a reason I have a big reverence for
27:32
Speaker 1: single moms. I'm like, It sucks being single and like
27:35
Speaker 1: taking care of myself. I could not imagine being a
27:39
Speaker 1: single mom where I have to take care of myself
27:41
Speaker 1: by myself and then take care of somebody else too.
27:43
Speaker 2: Now you got the kids.
27:44
Speaker 1: Now you got the kids involved. Whereas like being single
27:48
Speaker 1: is just grading and emotionally taxing after a very significant
27:52
Speaker 1: period of time. Like if you were single for a year,
27:54
Speaker 1: like shut the fuck up. Like you're fine. You had
27:57
Speaker 1: a single era.
27:58
Speaker 2: That's a vacation.
27:59
Speaker 1: But a lot of my friends and I think a
28:01
Speaker 1: lot of, women are sitting in this as well, where
28:04
Speaker 1: it's like, we're just having a hard time finding men
28:07
Speaker 1: who are doing the same things that we're doing. Like
28:11
Speaker 1: there's a lot of women that are just seeking men
28:14
Speaker 1: who are emotionally available with jobs, who work out, who
28:18
Speaker 1: have a friend group. And we're finding that it's difficult
28:21
Speaker 1: to find people that are in that same dating pool.
28:26
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like strike all the boxes. And it's not that
28:28
Speaker 2: many boxes actually. It's really not.
28:29
Speaker 1: It's really not that many boxes. Like if I was
28:31
Speaker 1: a man, I would be swimming in bitches. Like I,
28:34
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like if I was
28:36
Speaker 1: a man who worked out four days a week and, um,
28:41
Speaker 1: had a, I don't want to necessarily call myself successful,
28:43
Speaker 1: but like a somewhat successful career, um, took care of myself,
28:48
Speaker 1: had a good relationship with my friends. I'm like, be married,
28:51
Speaker 1: have seven kids by now.
28:53
Speaker 2: A whole compound.
28:54
Speaker 1: I'd have a whole compound. Whereas I feel like there's
28:56
Speaker 1: so many women like me that just being great is
29:00
Speaker 1: just the average. Like it's not just enough to be like,
29:04
Speaker 1: we're expected to be men in our single lives where
29:06
Speaker 1: we're taking care of the bills and being very like competent,
29:10
Speaker 1: but then also like at the same time, you know,
29:12
Speaker 1: she'd be like, I'm a girl. I'm just a girl.
29:15
Speaker 1: I'm just a girl.
29:16
Speaker 2: I mean, it's true though, to be able to like,
29:17
Speaker 2: just like, literally like let your hair down and have
29:21
Speaker 2: somebody else like take care of stuff and that's why
29:23
Speaker 2: I think a lot of guys again don't realize that
29:26
Speaker 2: of how much women crave that of like we just
29:28
Speaker 2: want to be we want to be without always having
29:30
Speaker 2: to do and a lot of guys are like well
29:33
Speaker 2: what you you like to be independent and you like
29:35
Speaker 2: to do all those things like okay they've had to
29:40
Speaker 2: doesn't mean they want to yeah that's just it's I
29:43
Speaker 2: always seem to go back to the kind of your
29:45
Speaker 2: podcast I'm probably gonna start binging it because I just
29:48
Speaker 2: find it I.
29:48
Speaker 1: Will say I'm very proud of my podcast I know
29:50
Speaker 1: I have not put out an episode to those who
29:52
Speaker 1: are listening in months but like that's because I can't
29:55
Speaker 1: a lot of the interviews I'm getting, and this isn't,
29:58
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this and I've interviewed you recently,
29:59
Speaker 1: I think I'm just a kind of burnt out from
30:01
Speaker 1: it period. But like, I've had a lot of, um,
30:04
Speaker 1: I've had a hard time finding interviews that get me
30:06
Speaker 1: excited because I've been doing it for so long. And
30:08
Speaker 1: I'm like, if I'm not excited, I know my audience
30:10
Speaker 1: isn't going to be excited.
30:11
Speaker 2: That's well, that's, it's a, such a fascinating thing. And
30:15
Speaker 2: obviously you're probably going to see a very common theme,
30:17
Speaker 2: but that's why I ask about it. Cause I'm like
30:18
Speaker 2: these couples that, you know, you're two years in and
30:21
Speaker 2: all of a sudden it's like, what, changed and maybe
30:24
Speaker 2: it's like you just said like a lot of it
30:25
Speaker 2: is well we got to this point and we just
30:28
Speaker 2: kind of realized we settled we just been at it
30:31
Speaker 2: so long that we thought this was the next best
30:33
Speaker 2: thing it's just wild to see yeah but it's also
30:35
Speaker 2: scary to see and I don't think enough couples talk.
30:37
Speaker 1: About that side of it it's sad and that's why
30:39
Speaker 1: when people seem really sure like you and your girlfriend
30:42
Speaker 1: like when you're like oh my god like this just
30:43
Speaker 1: makes sense I don't get worried about you guys like
30:46
Speaker 1: I don't think oh this is something that's not gonna
30:49
Speaker 1: last because I really do feel like there's this weird
30:52
Speaker 1: supernatural intangible thing that when you find someone you're really
30:55
Speaker 1: compatible with your nervous system is just quiet and it
30:58
Speaker 1: just works out And I'm not saying everything about it
31:01
Speaker 1: is going to be easy. But if you see the
31:03
Speaker 1: people that have really made their love life successful, it
31:06
Speaker 1: just seems like, oh, like I just, I didn't, it
31:10
Speaker 1: just made sense. And listen, I haven't been in a
31:13
Speaker 1: successful relationship, so I'm not going to get on my
31:15
Speaker 1: soapbox and say that it has to be like that
31:17
Speaker 1: every time. There's exceptions to every rule. So if you're
31:18
Speaker 1: listening to this, be like, I actually didn't know. But
31:20
Speaker 1: when I talk to my friends and they don't seem
31:23
Speaker 1: that excited about the person they're dating, that to me
31:26
Speaker 1: is my sign to be like, please break up with him.
31:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
31:29
Speaker 1: Because I'm only going to be excited, as excited about
31:33
Speaker 1: them as you are.
31:34
Speaker 2: That's it.
31:34
Speaker 1: Because if you're giving me a lot of like, I
31:39
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm like,
31:41
Speaker 1: I feel like your nervous system is trying to tell
31:42
Speaker 1: you something. And it sucks because especially as women approaching 30,
31:47
Speaker 1: I have been talking to a lot of friends where
31:49
Speaker 1: I'm like, I really fear that we're going to get
31:51
Speaker 1: to a point where we're going to find someone who's
31:53
Speaker 1: just kind of on the precipice of being the right match.
31:56
Speaker 1: But still isn't quite there but you're still going to
31:59
Speaker 1: choose them because they're just good enough oh yeah where
32:03
Speaker 1: it's like that doesn't mean that they're a bad person
32:05
Speaker 1: or that they're not a great catch but maybe they're
32:07
Speaker 1: not quite your person if that makes sense and then
32:10
Speaker 1: I also had the fear of like what if that's
32:11
Speaker 1: all a lie what if this the whole concept of
32:13
Speaker 1: there being somebody out there for you really is just
32:15
Speaker 1: like a fairy.
32:15
Speaker 2: Tale now you just say you wait and see but
32:18
Speaker 2: at the same time it's like I think you do
32:19
Speaker 2: and then I'm gonna have to go pop into a
32:21
Speaker 2: meeting like you have to just I saw something on
32:24
Speaker 2: Instagram that kind of just made me a little irritated
32:26
Speaker 2: Like there's a difference between like a gut feeling. Like
32:29
Speaker 2: I know the gut feeling. When it doesn't feel right
32:31
Speaker 2: in your nervous system and you're just trying, if you
32:33
Speaker 2: are searching for reasons of why it should work and
32:36
Speaker 2: it's not just coming to you naturally, that's a sign.
32:40
Speaker 2: But for so many people, we also got to realize
32:42
Speaker 2: like when something's kind of catching your eye or catching
32:44
Speaker 2: your attention or quote unquote is a little bit of
32:47
Speaker 2: an ick, just take the time to trace it back
32:49
Speaker 2: where that started and what that actually means. I saw
32:52
Speaker 2: somebody online talking about how They're like, what gave you
32:55
Speaker 2: the ick about the guy that you thought you loved?
32:56
Speaker 2: And I was like, he used to, like, what was it?
33:00
Speaker 2: He used to, like, sing my name when I walked
33:02
Speaker 2: into the door. And I'm like, sing your name? That's
33:05
Speaker 2: your ick? Like, because he was so excited. It was
33:08
Speaker 2: something along those lines. He was so excited. He was
33:10
Speaker 2: expressing his love in a very goofy way. I will
33:12
Speaker 2: say that. It was a very corny, cheesy way. Maybe
33:15
Speaker 2: I felt triggered because I'm like, I'm like that. But
33:17
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, don't search for the things that are
33:20
Speaker 2: going to make you want to fall out of love.
33:22
Speaker 2: But just do a body check. Like, it's a difference in, like,
33:24
Speaker 2: if your head's telling you versus your gut's telling you.
33:27
Speaker 2: Your gut knows. That's the hardest thing. And I think
33:29
Speaker 2: a lot of people know that. But it's like you said,
33:31
Speaker 2: it's scary. Hell, yeah. Like, my girlfriend and I talk
33:34
Speaker 2: about this all the time. Because we were both in
33:36
Speaker 2: very similar situations where I was like, yeah, I mean,
33:41
Speaker 2: we're in a relationship. But I don't know if this
33:44
Speaker 2: is really, is this it? Mm-hmm. And there is still
33:47
Speaker 2: that thought of like, I don't know. It was literally
33:49
Speaker 2: that same thought of what if this is supposed to
33:52
Speaker 2: be how it is? What if the whole idea that,
33:54
Speaker 2: you know, these fairy tale situations don't exist? Is this
33:57
Speaker 2: what everyone's feeling? Yeah.
33:59
Speaker 1: And what I'm, I don't necessarily mean fairy tale. Like
34:01
Speaker 1: it needs to be a Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift situation.
34:04
Speaker 1: Although I do look at them and I go as somebody,
34:06
Speaker 1: I followed her career. And again, all roads lead back
34:07
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift with me. I look at her. And
34:10
Speaker 1: so for me, I have a fear. And if you're
34:12
Speaker 1: a Swifty, you'll get this. I have a fear of
34:14
Speaker 1: being with a Joe Alwyn. And Joe Alwyn was this
34:17
Speaker 1: guy that she fell head over heels for. But I
34:19
Speaker 1: think they broke up and got back together. And they
34:23
Speaker 1: just kind of didn't really fit into each other's lives.
34:25
Speaker 1: I don't think he liked how public it was. But again,
34:27
Speaker 1: I think they just had this really great connection and thought,
34:30
Speaker 1: I feel like this person is my person, but I
34:32
Speaker 1: don't know. Could it not be? And then you see
34:34
Speaker 1: her and Travis get together and you're like, oh, when
34:37
Speaker 1: you see them together, you're like, oh, duh. Do you
34:40
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so I... I want to
34:42
Speaker 1: find that. Like when I look at them together, I go, duh,
34:44
Speaker 1: they make so much sense. Of course, they're going to
34:47
Speaker 1: be together.
34:47
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:48
Speaker 1: But I at the same time, like when she was
34:50
Speaker 1: singing years and years and years about her and Joe,
34:52
Speaker 1: I was like, well, it's they've been together for six years. Like,
34:54
Speaker 1: of course, they're going to be together. They seem like
34:56
Speaker 1: a good match. It seems like they really love each other.
34:57
Speaker 1: It seems like she really loves him the way she's.
34:59
Speaker 1: I remember having a discussion with a friend and she
35:02
Speaker 1: had brought up, oh, I think her and Joe are
35:03
Speaker 1: going to break up. And I was like, what? Are
35:05
Speaker 1: you kidding me? Like, after listening to Reputation and Lover,
35:08
Speaker 1: you think she's going to break up with this guy?
35:10
Speaker 1: And then that happens.
35:11
Speaker 2: You can only imagine, though, too, like, just knowing that perspective.
35:14
Speaker 2: That's what makes it so much harder. Imagine how hard
35:16
Speaker 2: it was for Taylor Swift to get out of that relationship.
35:19
Speaker 2: You have songs. You have an entire world that is
35:22
Speaker 2: looking at— It was hard in my life because I was.
35:25
Speaker 1: Like, what is Instagram going to think with my, like, 20,000 followers?
35:27
Speaker 1: What's Instagram going to think? Taylor Swift has like 200 million.
35:31
Speaker 1: And she was on the biggest tour of all time.
35:33
Speaker 1: Like she's actively sobbing on stage because she just got
35:36
Speaker 1: out of this relationship that she really, really wanted to work.
35:39
Speaker 1: And I look back on that and I go, oh
35:40
Speaker 1: my God. And then her life changed three months later
35:43
Speaker 1: or whatever, whenever she found Travis. And I'm like, so
35:46
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm, I feel like I'm just seeking out that.
35:48
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can look at it and I can
35:50
Speaker 1: see that it exists, but you don't know if your
35:52
Speaker 1: life is going to work out that way. I mean,
35:53
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift is also a successful creative billionaire. I'm not
35:56
Speaker 1: a successful creative billionaire. So who am I to think
35:59
Speaker 1: that I'm also going to get that?
36:01
Speaker 2: It's tough because I do have that belief. I'm like,
36:03
Speaker 2: it's out there. You just don't know. And I think
36:05
Speaker 2: that's the hardest thing for us. We just don't know
36:06
Speaker 2: when it will happen. You just don't know. How long
36:07
Speaker 2: am I willing to wait? How long am I supposed
36:09
Speaker 2: to sit in this uncomfortable feeling? And it's kind of like,
36:12
Speaker 2: you know, looking out and seeing everyone else.
36:14
Speaker 1: Like, oh, okay.
36:15
Speaker 2: It happened for you. It didn't happen for you. You
36:17
Speaker 2: have other friends. You're like, certainly didn't happen for you.
36:19
Speaker 2: You did the opposite. I don't want to do that.
36:22
Speaker 2: But it's like, well, I mean, hello. Who do I
36:24
Speaker 2: got to ask? Who do I got to knock on
36:26
Speaker 2: the door for?
36:26
Speaker 1: I'm just going to become ridiculously hot.
36:29
Speaker 2: That's right.
36:30
Speaker 1: And I think the universe is just waiting for me
36:32
Speaker 1: to just level up one more time.
36:34
Speaker 2: How are you going to level up past this universe?
36:36
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm like a Pikachu. I'm like, okay,
36:40
Speaker 1: there's three transformations.
36:42
Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh. Well, as we're going through it, anytime
36:45
Speaker 2: you could always pop in the comments. We talked enough
36:48
Speaker 2: about Spotify. Go ahead and pop in the comments on Spotify.
36:51
Speaker 2: We do see those comments as well, and we like
36:53
Speaker 2: to go back and forth with you, and still like
36:54
Speaker 2: the support for doing a live show up in Atlanta.
36:58
Speaker 1: Are there any comments we need to acknowledge?
37:00
Speaker 2: We have the one that I brought up before. The
37:03
Speaker 2: podcast started if you wanted me to ask that one.
37:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, ask me the question.
37:06
Speaker 2: So Jacqueline was asking, we're missing Abby on the personality hires.
37:10
Speaker 2: Please come guest host soon.
37:12
Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Yeah, I need to. And I feel like
37:16
Speaker 1: I keep thinking, oh, I need to do it this week.
37:17
Speaker 1: I need to do it this week. But I think
37:18
Speaker 1: they film on Mondays and we've been doing a lot
37:20
Speaker 1: of stuff on Mondays recently. So maybe I'll hit them
37:22
Speaker 1: up because I don't think I'm doing anything this Monday.
37:24
Speaker 2: There you go.
37:25
Speaker 1: So I will pop back on.
37:28
Speaker 2: The world wants more Abby. That's what it comes down to.
37:32
Speaker 1: The world but not men.
37:35
Speaker 2: Not Tampa men right now that's but I don't think
37:37
Speaker 2: you really want some Tampa men.
37:39
Speaker 1: Well no it's the 24 year olds who are after
37:40
Speaker 1: me
37:41
Speaker 2: Oh there you go keep them young anytime pop in
37:43
Speaker 2: the comments and again appreciate you always supporting the podcast