Latest / Forged In The Dark / Not Your Fault. Still Your Job.
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: You wouldn't intentionally open the door for a big red wasp. But you might open the door, and that big red wasp just flies right in. Limiting beliefs work the same way. You wouldn't open the door and say, Yes, please come in here. And please go to the hardest spot to find and stay for a while. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. We don't get a lot of fall weather here in Texas and and this summer the the heat has persisted but it finally lifted and the other day I found myself working in in the most beautiful outdoor setting. And all of a sudden, there is this big red wasp. And it's really interested in me. It's really interested in my computer and my coffee and my bag and my shoes. And it reminded me of how this used to happen at my old house. So it was super common to open the front door. And have a red wasp right there. And use usually I I could shoo them away But every once in a while I would open the door and it one would zip past me before I even registered what was happening. And now there's a wasp in the house. And time is of the essence because if I don't catch this wasp before it goes up. to the the window in the in the in the entryway that's really high up there i'm not going to get it because this has happened so many times and that window i i don't know how many feet it was up there but in order to get All the way up there, I would have to get the extension ladder, and that's a two-person job. So, what would happen is that wasp, would sit up there for seven to eight days before it died. And this happened time and time again, to the point, anytime I would have a wasp. Wasp zip right past me, I would immediately try to find it, get it in a cup, and get it back outside. Otherwise, it was destined to go up in that window and die. Now, your limiting beliefs won't necessarily go up in that window and die, but they will go up in that window and And and it's not a window you can reach easily. And they will stay there until you do whatever it takes to remove them. Maybe it's calling in help, you know, somebody else to to help you get that ladder in there. Maybe that's a therapist. Maybe that's a coach. Maybe that's a trusted friend. Maybe that's your partner. But with limiting beliefs, there's a lot of misconceptions that they are formed around traumas. And that's simply not true. science proves that about 95% of what you believe is determined by around the age of seven, and that is everything. That is the people around you, that is your experiences. All of your experiences. But developing limiting beliefs, developing any beliefs is not isolated to that time frame. And when I say you can develop limiting beliefs that have nothing to do with traumatic experiences, think about, think about an early childhood experience. Maybe. Maybe it was PE Day, and you were the last person picked for Red Rover. The story that you told yourself about why you were the last person picked possibly could be something like, well, nobody likes me, or I'm not fast enough, or I'm not good enough to be on that team, and now all of a sudden. Every time gym class comes or or PE, whatever it was called, when you took it, when that comes around and the coach is like, Hey, it's Red Rover dread day, you just dread it. I already know that I'm not going to be chosen. You see, this wasn't a traumatic incident. This was simply something that happened. But your young brain is is not mature enough yet to understand that. Most of the time. The limiting beliefs you have developed are not your fault. But what comes next is your responsibility. It didn't start off as your fault. You didn't even know it was there. But now that you do, it becomes your responsibility to get someone to help you carry the ladder, to put the ladder there, to climb on up and get that wasp before it dies up there. That wasp did not know it was flying through my door and and and it was going to spend the last few days of its life it dying in a window. And this is an opportunity for you to check in with yourself. I mean, think about it. Actually, I just got this really funny image of like a human-sized wasp on the other side of the door. If that was the case, would you open the door? No, you wouldn't. And sometimes when things, especially if things aren't going well in one or more areas of our life, it becomes your responsibility to almost play detective. Determining or not determining, finding your limiting beliefs. That is a you job. Sometimes your life experiences. You can look at like a roadmap and say, Well, if this and this and this pattern keeps repeating, there is something there, and that is true. And sometimes you might need a little bit of help, you might need the support of your friends or a trusted mental health professional, but it is your responsibility. To go seeking those limiting beliefs. You must in this in this work increase your awareness. Pay attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking around this? How do you feel in your physical body? When this situation comes up, where do you feel it first? Does your jaw clench? Do your shoulders get tight? What happens in your body? There was a wasp when I was working outside, and it reminded me of how these wasps used to fly into my old house and they would go to the one spot that I couldn't help them. I couldn't get to them. Limiting beliefs will not stand at the door and ask for your permission to come in. They will just come in. Maybe they've been there for a while. But take some time today and think about this. Think about just one pattern in your life that you don't like that keeps repeating. Because that limiting belief is up there and it is in that window. And especially if it's one that's been there since childhood, please remember your brain's job is to keep you safe, not to help you grow. Your brain understands the familiar, not the unfamiliar. The new still feels unsafe. Get the help you need. Find someone to hold the other end of the ladder so that you can increase your awareness and really go deep within yourself. To find the wasp that came in accidentally. Okay, that's what I have for you. Until next time.