Latest / Momtalk Maryland / Hair Liberation: What I've Learned Going Curly

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Hair Liberation: What I've Learned Going Curly · Momtalk Maryland

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, claire Duarte, founder of the Columbia Mom, and this is your spot for real conversations, local love and a whole lot of community, whether you're folding laundry, running errands or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Let's dive in.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: All right, let's get this party started.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like this podcast, this talk, is actually super overdue.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I've been wanting to do it for a while, but hashtag uh, momming, hashtag adulting, hashtag businessing, um or podcasting, I should say um wanted to talk about my hair journey, um, which is kind of ironic because I was like I just threw this together.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I was like this is like the I don't really care very half-assing it, but I've gotten so many questions about the different products I'm using, so it was like okay, perfect, how about I kind of just like talk a little bit about, like you know, my hair journey?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: What made me want to start it, how it's been going, what I've been doing, um, things I've learned along the way?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, the challenge is like first of all, I am not a hair expert, I am not a hairstylist, um, so, and my hair type is definitely not going to be the same as probably yours.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Um, so the products that I've tried again might not be 100% for you, Cause, like a bunch of the stuff that I was reading is like a lot of the products sometimes are trial and error.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Um, I had a lot of people messaging me some of the products that they use.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, this is kind of what I'm trying at the moment Again, and I also think, like, living in Maryland, we're also coming into like crazy hot heat and I'm like I wonder if the products that I was using is going to change.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but anyway, so just to kind of like note, to be like it's obviously such a personal journey that like don't take this as prescriptive, certainly I don't either.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: And some of the things that I was doing at the beginning, I quickly learned that, oh, you don't need to do all of that.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: And then, like some of the steps that I was doing, I realized, oh, that wasn't probably right for my hair type, my curl type.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, just like little things like that.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: But that way kind of doing this actually forces me to be like okay, now I can put all the products in like one place and that way you can see them, you can reference them.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: You can like, click on the links, check them out, whatever.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: All right, so let's go back a little bit.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Ironically, I feel like a lot of things in my life started for me when I came back from spring break, that you know that's when I started my elimination diet and working on some of my health things.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Right, when I came back from spring break, it was either that well, we drove home on a Sunday, excuse me and like one of the days I had to shower and wash my hair was either Monday or Tuesday, something like that, and I was just like, oh, I don't really feel like doing my hair.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I don't remember if I had a full schedule or what I mean.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Chances are I probably was.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I don't remember if I had a full schedule or what I mean.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Chances are I probably was.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: And like a month or two before that, I had done my hair scrunchie and I was like you know what?
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Something just kind of leaned in my head.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: It was kind of quick and easy to do that, and who cares?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: And I remember doing a poll around that.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I was like do you actually like this?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Do you think it's OK?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Are you just being nice, like what's, what's the deal?
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Um, and I was like you know what, like a little voice just said just do it, just try it.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And because it was at the time when I was also starting the elimination diet and I was like you know what if I also I mean this is the woman in me like let's layer on something else, because that's what we do.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: We just keep layering, like we can keep adding more things, more craziness to the chaos.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And I was like what if I tried being curly for a month?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: What if I leaned into that to see what it's like, you know?
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: And so, yeah, so what's kind of just started on a whim, I decided to kind of try to like really lean hard into it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, I definitely did it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: And yeah, in a way, I am pretty proud of myself and honestly, for the most part, I've been sticking to it.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I've done my hair straight twice literally since Charleston.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I came home from Charleston literally end of April, so it's been two months, right, and I've only, like I said, worn my hair straight twice since then.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I have crimped it a little bit.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So if you want to be super legal about like you know what heat products or heat tools I've used.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know some curly people will kind of, um, you know, still do a curling iron or whatever.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Um, I haven't played around a lot with that yet.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Um, granted, like I said, I'm only like two months kind of into this as far as kind of like this is outside of the you know, the 90s and the, not the 90s like the 2000s crunch that I was doing at like end of high school and college, right, so so let's get into it.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: So when I first started, I just started using kind of like a ton of the products that I have, because I was like I didn't know anybody, I definitely didn't have any gel, and I realized early on that, like you, the people were were saying you don't need like eight products.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Because I was, I feel like I was using all of these things.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Um, so I started reading up on like the curly girl method and um, and I was watching some videos on um, tiktok and Instagram, um, and reading up on things anywhere where I could kind of like learn, like, hey, what's the right steps, and then, okay, so that's what, this is what you do on wash day.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: But but I was like, okay, well, now it's not wash day.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: So what do I do, you know, like without cause, I think the my very first week sorry, the first, my very first week of doing curly hair.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I definitely hadn't like brought up on the curly hair method, so I was still doing like dry shampoo and doing some more product down here, so it just felt like a lot was going on.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's still a lot like generally is going on.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: But you know, um, I was like I don't know if I like this, I don't know the way, if I like the way that this looks.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I was kind of frustrated and I definitely wanted to give up for sure, cause I was like this looks gross.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I feel like I look cheap.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like I look like crusty.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: And, um, I definitely just could not get the balance right, and this is probably also why they say don't use a ton of products, right?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Um, I mean, what I will say is I feel like I can go longer without washing my hair when it's curly or wavy verse, when it's straight, uh, I feel like when I'm wearing it straight, um, uh, I feel like I can go two to three days, but then I get the like I feel like it's nasty and then I want to wash it again.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Um, so I feel like I can stretch it more to like five days or something.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: When it's curly, we're in it.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: We're not in the thick of summer yet, so we'll see.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Um.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, so leaning into the curly girl method.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Um, I feel like I have all these products over here, so I think I'm just going to jump and start showing you Okay, um.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So again, products, like I said, are so personally specific, but here's something that I think everyone should have is just little Mr Spray bottle, which this is so funny.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you mean the thing that the hairdressers use, like it's on Amazon, anybody can get it.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, anyway, fine, funny enough, I have like one on each floor for my daughter, for her hair Cause.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wait, why didn't I get this?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You know, so I make, and for my daughter I mix, just like water and detangler, and then I just keep refilling it.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Um, so that way it's a little bit mix of both.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Um, so it's easy for the kids.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Um, but then I got one for me.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: This is just water and I use this for on refresh days.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Um, so before I guess I talk through refresh days, let me just walk through I guess what I would consider the full routine.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Uh, on hair wash days, um, okay, so I have a couple products here, so, and the and it is important to do products in a certain sequence and most things as it relates to, like the curly girl method.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: This is where it also your hair curl type is important and also your outcome goal is important, because that will determine which steps you do, in which order or which products you use or not, kind of thing.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So for me, I have I'm forgetting the curl type because it's like to be open, I don't, I don't remember anymore.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I looked at it a while ago.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I just know this kind of steps to go along with it, I have wavy hair with a little bit of the S shape, as you can like kind of see, but it's not like ringlets.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So, and I've always known that I've had wavy hair, so this is just like me, finally, kind of leaning into it or my home hormones are just really at play and also influencing that as well.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: So, um, a lot of the steps were like, as soon as you get out of the hair, when your hair soaking wet.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: That's when you start putting in the products and you, yes, you absolutely can, and you and I still can do that with my hair type.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: For me, I realized I don't after doing that for a while.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I loved that.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Look on me, that's okay.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: The majority of things say do it soaking wet, you know, and you scrunch it and you flip your hair upside down and do all these things and I still do all of that.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: But I do let it air dry a little bit because I want a little bit of a softer look because, again, they're waves.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I don't like it when it's like super, like flat to my head and I mean there's an element of it drying that way.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: But again, just, I just wasn't like loving that look for me, and again, it's also about like knowing, again, knowing your hair type, knowing what the out the style outcome goal is, will help determine what you do and what I've been doing, so, okay.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: So when I wash my hair um, you don't have to I like to leave in like a little leave-in conditioner.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Um, my hair salon is an Aveda salon, so I use primarily Aveda products because that's what they have and that's what they use.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So that's just kind of like the majority of what I have on hand.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Um.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So this one is the Aveda botanical repair strengthening leave in treatment.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Um, plant powered damage repair.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Um, I'm like low on this one.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Um, I like this one a lot.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Um, so you know, I'll come out of the shower, brush my hair, um, and they say for curly hair, like you know, that's the only time you ever brush it Brush my hair and you can put in.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And again, I think for like the leave-in conditioner, that's a little personal preference of like how much, you know you don't have to do like full coverage, like you know, you can kind of do just the ends or you can kind of go all over or trouble spots, but you don't need to like overly saturate your hair.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I do have other types of like leave-in conditioners that are spray-based.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: So I'll either use this one or the spray one.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: You know you can kind of do that.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: So after I do the leave-in conditioner is where I like to use a little foam.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Again, this one is the Aveda Nutraplenish.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: It's saline treatment foam.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: What I like about this one, it's not too hard and crunchy, um, and even when I I like.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I use this even when I'm doing my hair straight, cause it's just like a nice again styling foam and it's um, it just gives it nice body and structure without it being rigid.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Um, so, and it so it feels light but powerful.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Um, so, it feels light but powerful.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So this is where I'll do quite a few pumps of this and start to do kind of like the scrunching both side to side, do majority upside down, you know, head to crown kind of thing.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: So leave-in conditioner, then mousse.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Again, you don't have to do mousse, this is just a personal preference.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: So those are the kind of starting lineup.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Um, depending on the weather, weather has been wacky the last couple weeks because we've had a lot of rain.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Now we're moving into heat.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Um, I love this product.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: This is the color.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Wow, dream Spray.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I'm reading straight from the bottle.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: This is not an ad, this is not sponsored, any of it.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: It's the Magically Transformed Texture, amazing Humidity, proofing Powers.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So definitely on like rainy days is when I like to kind of do like a spritz all over.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Again, this is one you want to.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: You can go all over, just don't go heavy, because it's it's not oil-based, but like I feel like it can a little goes a long way, right it's.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: It's like one of those products because it feels heavier than a leave-in conditioner, because it is also like working to add shine but also protect your hair.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: So this is just an add-on as needed.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Again, your, if you get, are more prone to frizzy or things in humid temperatures.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: This could be your best friend daily, just know your hair type kind of thing.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: So color wow is usually when I'll do that.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Let's see Next.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Next Cream Okay, so the real nuts and bolts.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: You can kind of get away with doing hair stuff and with literally basically just two products, right, curl cream and curl gel.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: That's kind of like you can literally boil it down to just those two.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of people that argue that.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of people argue all sides of it really doesn't really matter.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: It's not really even an argument Because it just goes back to personal preferences.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: But you always do curl cream first before gel and curl cream and sometimes you might be perfectly fine doing just the curl cream.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: That's what I've been experimenting with lately is using less gel, because I don't know that.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I loved the gel casting.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Again, I think I have more to play with that.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Again, I don't have ringlet curls, but anyways.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: So after I've done sorry, let me go back I keep running over Leave in conditioner mousse, humidity as needed, Then this one you still can brush again.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: But now we're going to use oh sorry y'all Too many products.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: This is what happens.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: We are going to use a ton of curl cream Like you can use like not a handful, but like I start with like a big dollop right, and I'll probably do at least two of those, if not more, or something like that.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And then this is where you start to like heavily scrunch right.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: And this is where you start to like heavily scrunch right and some people actually even say like douse your hair, like you know, go all the way up to your roots and fully like cut, make sure your whole hair is covered right.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Again, this is where I think it know your hair type.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I think the curlier your hair is, the more true, that is like the more tighter those curls.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Um, I feel like for me, less product directly around here is somewhat better, is where I tend to get a tad more oily and things like that.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, so you do a lot of the curl, you know, cream going like this Again, lots of upside down, like literally, like flipping your head and like scrunching up, and I do scrunch and I, you know, even though I might not bring the product directly to my roots, I will scrunch and bring it like literally all the way in and doing, you know, lots of that, lots of like this, but mainly like to the side and while it's bent over and things like that.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So once I feel kind of sufficient with the curl cream, you can leave it there, you can stop there, um, or you can finish with a curl gel.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: And there's so many people, there's so many different types of gel.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Again, this is both of these are not your mother's, um, this is defining a curl talk cream and this is frizz control, curl talk sculpting gel.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: This one says firm, flexible, hold number three, so that's not too bad.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Um, the curl gel cells says made with rice, curl complex, whatever that is, um, but yeah, you can finish with a gel and the goal of the gel is to help lock in, um, uh, this lock in the style, lock in the curl, um, retain, you know, some of the moisture, sealing those cuticles, sealing the hair, and to prevent frizz.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Um, things like that.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: And the biggest tip that I've learned, regardless of whether you end with gel or end with cream, whatever, once you have put all your products in, stop touching your hair, because I feel like my mistake the first couple of weeks was that I would just kind of it sort of feels good, you kind of just keep going like this right and stop touching your hair.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: You need to basically like let the products fully sit and I feel like you kind of self-induce, more of a frizziness the more you keep touching it because you need to let the products just fully, like take root, literally, you know, and you want them to fully dry.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: You can again, after doing the gel, you can go in and hit it with a diffuser.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Again, there's multiple different ways of how people will use diffusers.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Some people will take the diffuser and kind of literally go right on the hair or even all the way up into the root and kind of like again, kind of going like this.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I have seen a lot of people do this because they kind of want to help lift your roots actually and dry this area so it doesn't dry so kind of flat and stuck to your face.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: But then a lot of other people say that that can cause frizziness because you kind of really are getting up in there and you're kind of causing the hairs, um, and the ends to potentially fray.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: So some people will literally just go or take the humidifier and ever so gently, maybe they're barely touching the hair, but kind of just go around so that they're kind of sending heat to the area to help seal it without coming into too heavy contact with the hair.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: So again, a couple different schools of thought.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, again, it's trial and error, could, like that, could also be tool dependent.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Um, I have um, it's an old generation but it is a Dyson hairdryer with a diffuser attachment.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Um, it's not the latest model, it's like five years old or something like that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Um, it is very powerful, which I do like Um, but, um, the times that I've trialed it recently, I mean I like using a diffuser, it feels good and I feel like initially it looks good, but then it's still the times that I've done it, I feel like it still looks a little frizzy later.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: So again, I don't know if that's just the combo of products I use that day, um, or was it because the diffuser is making, you know, like, kind of like that's that side product of like it's going to get a little frizzy because of kind of sort of coming in contact with is it how I styled it?
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Is it, did I not?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Was I going in with the diffuser?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Was I going around?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I don't, I, I haven't done enough trial and error, but I know that that's probably not my favorite way to style it, which is okay Sometimes if you're in a pinch like it's great to do that because that way you feel like you're not leaving the house with wet hair.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: At least it is dried and styled.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So there is that benefit.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Because I think sometimes when you have like curly, wet hair and you're like, okay, like I, I know that I'm done, I know that I'm polished, I know that I'm put together, but my hair looks so wet so it's still just like gives a different persona to yourself, right, and you're like so again, pros and cons, you know it's just, it's so.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Much of it goes back to personal choice and what you're going for that day.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: So that's a diffuser, so sorry.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Jumping back to gel, so, like I said, I was mentioning that the point of the gel is to potentially like cast your hair and those that are doing it straight from hair wash when your hair is literally soaking wet and sorry, I didn't mention this before, if that is your route.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: They also say do not put your hair in a towel, because the towel, will you know, take is the goal.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Like, once you flip your hair up in a towel, it's taking some of the moisture out, um, the wetness.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: You want your hair basically still soaking wet.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Um, because you want to your hair, you're basically want your hair to fully attach the sorry, you want your products to fully attach to the hair in that state.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Um, because once it starts, once you start to towel dry it, like even if you're not towel drying it, but it's like you throw up in the towel, you're um, it's gonna start acting like a sponge immediately.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Um, so when I quickly realized that.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: So when I got out of the shower, like I had to change my shower routine.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Like when I got out of the shower, I I would start my, my, my face, my skincare, like lotioning my body, and I was like, oh, I have to like jump in and do my hair right away, which felt very unnatural for me and I didn't love it.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: But I was like here we are, you know, um, so anyway, so then you would still walk through the same process and routine that I said.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: But you know, if you again, if you're ending with a gel, curl gel, cream, gel, curl gel um, again, you can still use a lot of this um, kind of like the curl cream.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Um, your, the goal is to cast as much you know around the hair um to really hold and seal it.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Um, because sometimes they say if you don't use enough gel it could still cause frizz.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Using too much gel obviously won't, it's just going to be stiffer and harder.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Now, if you're like me and you're like I don't like the stiff, hard gel, look there are lots of other different types of products and some other gels and some other creams that can give you that stronghold without that hard, stiff gel look.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: But here's what I'm also going to say, um, without having trialed all of them right, is that you can break the gel, the gel cast and this is what they say, so it's like, but don't touch your hair until it is fully dried and you can still um, even with doing gel, you could still diffuse it.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Um, again, you can do the one or two options of whether you actually go in with a diffuser or you kind of go around, but for me lately, I primarily let it air dry.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: So once I learned that I shouldn't touch it, I just wouldn't touch it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I'd be wanting to, but I wouldn't.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And then, once you know, take a couple hours, once it was like fully dry, that's when I would let my hands come back in.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: You can either do it with your hands or they say you can take, uh, an old t-shirt or a towel.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: That way you feel like you're not getting your any residue or dirtiness on your hands straight straight to your hair.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: So I've just done my hands, to be honest, um, but in a perfect world, right?
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Um, so then you would just take your hands the same way and just kind of gently try to break it up, let it be a little looser.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: That way you feel like you don't have that, like you know, very hard crunchy.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Look to your hair and like that's my favorite part, oh, I can.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Finally, you know, let it loose, right, and?
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And for some women, that's when they've achieved like peak curly status and you see those beautiful ringlets like really come to life because they're finally kind of like breaking free out of their cocoon.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Um, so, and, and that's, and that's what helps them achieve that beautiful curly look without the frizz.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: That's the ultimate goal.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Right, we're like.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: We like we don't mind the curly hair, we don't mind it being wavy, we hate the frizz, we hate the stuff that comes along with it, right, um, and I say that being like I totally half-assed this today and I was like I don't really care, I don't feel like putting a whole lot of effort into it, um, but it's and it's also refresh day.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So, like I said, all I did was just use a little bit of water, a little bit of the leave-in product and a little bit of curl gel.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I didn't feel like doing much more than that, and the reality is like it to each their own, right, you can do as much or as little as you want.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Like who cares, right?
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I think for a while I was tempted.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I was trying to be like prescriptive in the sense of like, okay, I want to follow the steps.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I want to like see how this looks, see how this works, make sure I'm kind of like doing real right or wrong, that's okay.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Um, but, um, I mean, what's been interesting for me, I feel like, with this journey, is that it's forced me to try different hairstyles and see myself in a different way.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Like, obviously, every time I look in the mirror or look in the camera, I'm like um, I'm not used to seeing myself with this like texture hair.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I've just always had and always styled my hair straight primarily, other than when I like curl it.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You know, again, I've always seen like in the back of my hair that I get those like little like ridges, and I was like I definitely know it's wavy, because my hair will absolutely hold a curl and if I air dry it it definitely drives like, doesn't dry like this.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I do have to put product in to kind of really get it to like come out like this, which is why, again, like it'll dry straight, but a much looser wave, right.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: So I'm scrunching it to kind of help give it more wave influence, wave fluence, if you may.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: So that's for a while, and so that was one of the other things.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Like when I started all this, I was like I kind of feel like a little bit of an imposter here because I feel like I'm trying too hard for this.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Um, and it's interesting because I feel like you see these different schools of thoughts, of like I don't know if you're, if you're familiar with the runner community.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: But people like you know, if you like can put sneakers on, like, and you can run like you.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Like you're a runner, you know, um, and you know that's meant to be implied that anybody is a runner if you want to be and if you want to go out and do it right and um, it doesn't matter your pace, like you know, you don't need to be a certain speed to be a runner, right.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And I think the same thing kind of applies with, like, the curly hair, like curly hair, wavy hair, whatever you know, there's no right or wrong, there's no like, oh, you're only curly.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: If your hair naturally looks like this when you walk out of the shower, then I've seen the other side of the spectrum, I swear.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: There was like a commercial for some product and the girl had like, probably one tiny little kink in her hair and like, wait, like the girl, her friend said to her hey, like you have wavy hair, like you have this one thing and I'm like that felt a little bit of a stretch, but like, again, I'll allow it again, I'm not the hair police and I genuinely don't care.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Um, like, you can do your hair however you want, that's fine, um, same goes for me.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: So, like I mean ironically I know I made a post a few weeks ago.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: It was like, uh, I celebrated four weeks of curly hair by going straight.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I was getting the itch because we went out to our staycation and I was like we were going to go out to dinner and I was like I'm really itching because I hadn't seen my hair straight in a while.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: And you know what I did and I felt glorious.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: It felt glorious.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: My hair felt so good and you know like, what was really nice about that is because I could tell my hair had really grown in, like in about a month.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my hair had really grown and it did feel really good Because I hadn't put heat on it like in a long time.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Not that I was putting I definitely don't use heat every day, or, and I definitely don't use heat every day, or and I definitely didn't do heat every day, even when I was wearing it straight.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: But it definitely felt very healthy and felt very good, very full, very thick, and I was like, yeah, that's what's up, you know.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: So, in a way, I feel like that kind of helped reinforce, like, all right, let's keep doing this, because for when I even, when I do, decided to, you know, do it straight again, like it's it's good to have the time off, kind of thing.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Um, and let's see, I did wear it straight again this past week, ironically because I had a workshop and so I was like I kind of want to be straight for that, ironically, we had like crazy rain and storms and I should have gone curly.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Um, I just didn't want to be, cause I was recording it and I was like what would would I be, would I like to see myself from recording with curly hair, straight hair.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I say that now like I'm obviously sitting here on the podcast with curly hair, um, but I also didn't care.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Today I was like whatever, um, so it's, you know, like I said, it's just a journey, it's an ever-evolving journey and for me, I'm still kind of like this doesn't mean that like, oh, all of a sudden now I have to be curly every single day for the rest of my life, like I love, I like that, I challenge myself to do it for a month and I like that.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Now that I'm on the other side, I feel like I've learned a lot and I've also learned to embrace and accept myself in a different way, which I think is kind of neat, kind of cool, like I wasn't doing it.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: For that reason and there was plenty of days when I would look in the mirror and be like, oh, I hate this, I hate what I see, I'm so tired of it I'm like, oh, I just want, like you know, I just want my straight hair.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I just want to like look and see that.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, because it does.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I think for many women like black or white or brown or whatever you know, I think so much of our self-identity and confidence is tied to our hair, and I absolutely know that for sure, and you know so.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: That's where I think a lot of that discomfort comes from.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: And yeah, so now that we're like in the thick of the heat of summer, I'm like, okay, I think I'm definitely going to do this more, because it's like I was, like it's easier, first of all and you know, is it worth me doing my hair straight when I'm?
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: When it's going to be so hot outside, I'm probably going to throw my hair up anyways.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: So I'm interested to see if I'll play around with more different hairstyles.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I felt like it was cute and kind of cool to see my like you know, like clip my hair up in different ways and it would, you know, having the texture kind of gave me more ability to like do different things and have it look a different way.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: So, like there was times when I feel like I could like have like a little like front piece here and I'm like, oh, that looks so cute and I couldn't do that was true, I could.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: It just felt like my hair was like thinner or not exactly oily, but it wouldn't stay, but the curly would, and I'm like all right.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: So, um, like I said, I don't know what's yet to come, um, but that's kind of where I'm at right now and I think it's just like the perfect life lesson, too, of not everything is finite, not everything has to be black and white one way or the other.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Like let's enjoy the and let's enjoy the.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: You can have curly hair and straight hair.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Let's enjoy the.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: You can have curly hair and straight hair.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: You know you can have.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I don't have another good example, but I do think that whole point of like you know, living in the and like.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like I do struggle with that with many things in my life.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: So that's what I feel like this personal self-experiment almost was for me Let me force myself to see if I can do was for me.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: It's like let let me force myself to see, see if I can do this, see, see what it's like.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And you know, um, like I said, I found myself on Pinterest a lot.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I found myself on Tik TOK a lot, even on chat, and I was like, can you help me make sense of this?
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, um.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, wait, chat, you're wrong.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: And I needed to fact check Curly Girl Method.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: A lot of back and forth.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: But yeah, here's to living in the and here's to you know, curly hair, wavy hair, straight hair, natural hair, whatever hair you do have, whatever products you do use, let me know if you found this helpful.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Products you do use, um, let me know if you found this helpful, um, or if you want to hear more stuff like this, whether it's, you know, hair, or skincare or makeup, or I don't know um.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I'm always looking for um topics that you might be interested in, um as it relates to my personal experience, or things that I can talk on.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Again, this was, this was in no way, uh, sponsored by these products.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Just, oh, actually, sorry, before I finally wrap, I forgot I had one other thing hiding back here.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Um, my hair.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: When I got my haircut she, which I kind of thought was neat, and I've done this a little bit this is like I don't know what you call it Pick home, um, I'm.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: So this is how freaking white I am.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Um, a pick, comb, a comb, a pick.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I sound so stupid.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, um, so once she did it right, she cut like and I saw I've seen other creators sort of do this it kind of you can kind of like put it in your hair and almost like pick it up.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: You can kind of like leave it there, wait, I have to see this, wait, I have to see this.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: So the idea is that it's trying to give you kind of volume and you can kind of leave it there as your hair is drying, to set.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: And again, the goal is trying to like lift the roots, or you could do this to like keep kind of lifting the roots, like that.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: That way you feel like everything doesn't dry like straight on your head, straight on your scalp.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: So, um, again, it's multifaceted.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: However you but I love that I got a little bit more of a bump right there.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: That made me happy.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Um, oh, my gosh, um.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, sorry, that was just my other like little tool product for you.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, any other topic recommendations that you have, if you found this helpful or interesting, um, let me know.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: But, um, we will also be, uh, in our show notes.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: We'll definitely be in, um, uh, show notes slash blog, be linking all the products here for you for you to check out, um, and yeah, so, um, I guess, if you have a curly girlfriend, give her a hug and let her know that it's that you got beautiful hair, no matter, no matter which way it is.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: And for those girls, for the girls that may be straight in their hair, trying to hide their curly hair, reality is like, I don't have a perfect message for you, because I know that I haven't walked that life, um, and I know that that's a very multifaceted thing, um, so, you know, I feel like I was about to say, like you know, let your curl free.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: And I was like I feel like that's almost not my thing, my phrase to be able to say, because, again, I feel like it's not the life that I've lived.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: But, um, I feel like I can say here's to embracing your natural hair, however it may be.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: And if you do have curly hair but you love styling it a certain way, so be it.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Who cares?
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Who cares?
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Make yourself happy.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, surely there's obviously something nice to leaning into your natural hair, so we're not putting not putting, say, as many products in it or as much heat damage, etc.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: But again, sometimes one way or the other is harder.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Like I had someone tell me that like they're like oh, I just straighten my hair because it's so much easier.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Like doing curly, like all the products and the steps and the method was just, it was just so much easier to maintain it straight, and I was like like you know what that makes so much sense?
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Also, my problem is I can see things any which way and this is why I struggle with making decisions.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, here's to hair, here's to loving your hair, here's to loving yourself, and I'll catch you next time.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mom Talk Maryland.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend or @the.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: columbiamom on Instagram.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you think and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting local and keep being the incredible mom, woman, human that you are.