Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHLIGHT POD: The Woody Show September 14th 2026 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHLIGHT POD: The Woody Show September 14th 2026 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: All right, well, got some mother-effing zoo news out of England.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Where the zoo, they're offering up, they have this new
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: guided tour of, quote, iconic predators of the animal kingdom
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: and their prey, which seems, you know, simple enough, right?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: And so you go to buy the tickets. All it
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: says is predator tour. Now, here's the problem. There's an
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: online listing of for the child's ticket on the tour
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and it reads Child Predator Tour. That's going to put
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: you on a list. So you can sign up for
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: the Child Predator Tour.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: They're all lined up for you to look at.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it went viral and the zoo, our bad,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: changed the name. They fixed that.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I'll take two. The child predator tour.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I'd like to see all of them.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: My daughter was saying something to my son about this
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: the other day, and I didn't know much about it,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: but clearly it's caught on. It's everywhere. This cat in
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: the hat thing. Have you heard anything about that? Are
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: you familiar with that at all, Gina? Because your son
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: is a certain age.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: So schools and police departments around the country, they're warning
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: about this social media thing involving these creepy AI generated
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: versions of the cat in the hat. That's being used
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: to make threats against schools and communities.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: Right. And sometimes specific people even.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: That I don't even really understand. So it's AI generated.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: It's the cat in the hat character. The Mike Myers
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: live action version. Yeah, the movie version. And it's doing what, though?
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: It's making threats, right, against schools and people.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: They're producing videos.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: So it's not like anybody's waiting for the cat in
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: the hat to show up.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: It's just that they're using it to generate it like a...
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Because it's ironic. Like, watch your back, menace.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: That kind of thing. It started in Ireland, I believe.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So some of the posts have gotten serious enough that
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: teenagers have reportedly been arrested in connection with these things.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: In at least three states.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: What was the... The other one, Slenderman.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Slenderman.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: That wasn't Threats.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: That was just like a fake character.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: Well, two girls killed their friend.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: That was also fake though, right? Yeah, 100%. Not AI generated.
• 2:26
  Speaker 6: No, no.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It was just like a folklore or whatever. Candyman, that
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: sort of thing.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: It was a mythical thing. Dude, right?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they made character drawings of it online.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but people went to jail.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and dumb, crazy people were like, I'm going to
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: kill for Slenderman.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: So Slenderman was this character that was asking people to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: do things?
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, some 12-foot-tall ghostly.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: You know, not even a real person, not even, didn't
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: even look like a real person.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: It was like Jack Skellington. Right.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Background.
• 2:55
  Speaker 7: Some guy just created it for like a Photoshop contest.
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: Somebody found it and said, I'm going to make, you know, a.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Story behind it. And so the story went, what? And
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: so how did kids end up getting like in to
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: where they thought that they were doing something for.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: Because some kids don't understand reality. I mean, they're crazy, right?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's crazy people.
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: And their kid's like, oh, he wants me to kill
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: my best friend. My best friend is in seventh grade.
• 3:23
  Speaker 8: So they're being threatened by the Slenderman, allegedly, who's a
• 3:26
  Speaker 8: crazy person. So it's causing them to do other stuff.
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: No, they're more like, oh, all hail the great Slenderman.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: That's the part I didn't understand. I heard about it.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I know somebody died. I knew people got arrested and
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: sent to jail for it. Never quite understood the- Because
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: it doesn't make any sense.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah.
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: Goth teens and pre-teens adopt it as their little thing,
• 3:45
  Speaker 7: and then they make a whole world around it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: And they kill their friends.
• 3:47
  Speaker 6: Cool.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: It's like their evil hero. Yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: God, whatever happened to the good old rumors that we
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: had as a kid, you know?
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Like so-and-so- The gerbil. Yeah, Richard Gere and the gerbil.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: Rod Stewart and the stomach pump.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, see, it was Rod Stewart, Mr. Rogers, Bon Jovi.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: By the time it hit me, it was Lil' Kim. Right, yeah,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: because it just depends on what era.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: You grew up in.
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: What state you grew up in.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, oh, you hear Mr. Rogers has all these
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: tattoos from all the kills he.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Had in Vietnam.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Well, that one was true. Yeah, there was that one.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: There was, oh, Mr. Rogers ended up in the hospital
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: and they had to pump his stomach and inside was
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Bon Jovi semen.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: That sounds about right.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Which, of course, God, if they had to pump your
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: stomach for that, imagine how many people would end up
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: in the hospital.
• 4:38
  Speaker 7: How do they know it was Bon Jovi? Because we
• 4:39
  Speaker 7: didn't have DNA technology like that back then.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Right, but that was the stuff that went around. And
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: then it got big into the celebrity death hoaxes. Like
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: every week, Adam Sandler was dead.
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: It seemed.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, babe.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Or people who weren't dead like Elvis.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Oh he's very much alive right slender man was on reddit.
• 4:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah uh yeah i'm well that's that's who that and
• 5:02
  Speaker 7: uh menace's hate that he has for 4chan or these
• 5:05
  Speaker 7: are the people who.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: That'd be carton arcs at carton arcs but a lot of.
• 5:08
  Speaker 7: These people are like guys who are actual real internet
• 5:12
  Speaker 7: trolls yeah i haven't.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Heard about that in a long time if if other
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: than other than sea bass trolling menace over it but.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: It's basically like the dark web now yeah.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But that was like one thing for the longest time.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: That was more like a semi-public thing where.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like how we call every tissue now
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: a Kleenex.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Or every copy machine's a Xerox. But Chan just means channel.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And so 4chan, 8chan.
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: And so all these like actual hardcore internet trolls will
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: be on there and they'll be talking and they'll have
• 5:39
  Speaker 7: these little inside jokes. And sometimes, every once in a while,
• 5:42
  Speaker 7: those inside jokes get out to the real world. And
• 5:44
  Speaker 7: that's kind of what, you know, things like Slenderman or
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: Pepe the Frog.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Slenderman was more of a message board type era.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Like, Slenderman, Momo. Momo. Somebody else in the text mentioned that.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, I remember that.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Mentioning that.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: The weird eyes.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's another one that my daughter was freaked out about.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And she was doing the same thing that I was
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: doing when I first, like, you know those trypophobia pictures
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: that people see where, like, the palm of someone's hand
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: just has a bunch of little holes in it? Yeah,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: you hate dots and holes. Yeah, and it looks like there's, like, almost, like,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: little butterflies or something in there. It does, yeah.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Dude, it grossed me out so hard. Like, you know,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I can watch a lot of really disgusting things.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: The more disgusting, the better. Yeah.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Like, I can watch a ton of stuff like that.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But man, for whatever reason.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: God forbid you look at a lotus pod.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Like, these trypophobia pictures, like, were turning my stomach.
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: God, what would a pomegranate do to you?
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: And I would wake up in the middle of the night,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: grab my phone, and I almost challenged myself to see
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: the photo.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Like, all right. Exposure therapy.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: And you know what?
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Eventually it worked. I was looking at it so much
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: that I eventually just like, all right, this is nothing.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: You were grossed out by fern leaves and the bottom
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: side of a mushroom.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Well, fern leaves, like if you flip them over, like,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: you know, they have those little like along each.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Like warts. Yeah.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But they were like perfect. Like the symmetry and
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the pattern of it.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: That is pretty impressive. I'm looking at one right now.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: It gave me like a full body shiver, like a
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: douche chill.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And then look for a lotus flower too.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Anyway, so my daughter with that whole Momo thing, like
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: she was waking up with like these nightmares and stuff,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: but she kept looking at the photo, looking at the photo,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: looking at the photo. She couldn't help herself. And my
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: wife finally was like, you got to stop. You got
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: to stop looking at this thing. That's why she can't
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: watch scary movies because she will have nightmares.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: What is it about?
• 7:37
  Speaker 7: 12 through 16-year-old girls where they are just obsessed by
• 7:41
  Speaker 7: horror and all that crap.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Slenderman, well, those were girls.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe they're more gullible.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: Or they're more into fantasy, I think.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: It's fantasy, also community. Fantasy, but like the whole idea that,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: you know, girls mature faster than boys, right?
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Physically.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: But is that also, like, are they supposed to.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: They're supposed to be more mature just in general.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Like emotionally?
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Because it seems like teenage girls are way more of
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: a mess. Right. Than boys are.
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Of the same age. And I think that plays into this.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: So physically, maybe you've matured quicker. That's a good point.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 7: But that mess leads to attraction to all this horror
• 8:22
  Speaker 7: crap and obsessing over it and creating all these lore.
• 8:25
  Speaker 8: But is the horror stuff a sense of rebellion for them?
• 8:28
  Speaker 8: Like the teen rebellion stage just in general, this is
• 8:31
  Speaker 8: a form of it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: I see. I don't know.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Go toilet paper house. Yeah.
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: Go egg somebody.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Fear is fun. That's why you like horror movies and
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: roller coasters. And girls kind of like drama and fear
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: is kind of drama. Just a little bit.
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: So, you know.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: It's the alternate world.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: It's all cause of strife.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Somebody texted over. The big rumor for me growing up
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: is that Marilyn Manson had a couple of ribs removed
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: so he can give himself head. Oh, that was a
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: big one. Yeah. Remember that one? And then also that...
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Marilyn Manson was Paul Pfeiffer from The Wonder Years.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, from The Wonder Years.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: They're identical.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: They're both so hot.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, speaking of fear, an actor playing Nikki at Halloween
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Horror Nights got fired because I guess she was doing
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: too good of a job.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: Nikki from Obsession.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, too scary? Yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, here's a- She looked good.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: There we go.
• 9:19
  Speaker 9: A woman hired to play Nikki at Halloween Horror Nights
• 9:21
  Speaker 9: was fired after visitors complained that her performance was too frightening.
• 9:25
  Speaker 9: Universal added the character after Nikki from the horror movie
• 9:28
  Speaker 9: Obsession became popular online. The actress walked around the park
• 9:31
  Speaker 9: approaching random guests while acting emotionally unstable and obsessed with them.
• 9:35
  Speaker 9: During each encounter, she shouted lines such as, why don't
• 9:38
  Speaker 9: you love me? And you don't love me as much
• 9:41
  Speaker 9: as I love you. She also hit herself with a
• 9:43
  Speaker 9: foam brick as part of the performance. Some visitors said
• 9:46
  Speaker 9: the unexpected confrontations made them uncomfortable and complained to Park's staff.
• 9:50
  Speaker 9: According to online claims, the actress was later removed from
• 9:53
  Speaker 9: the role and lost her job because her performance went
• 9:55
  Speaker 9: too far.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Wait, so they actually fired her?
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Or they just removed her from that, like, hey, we're
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: not going to.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Have you be niggie anymore. Yeah, you're too good.
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: I hate to be a menace on this one, but
• 10:04
  Speaker 7: that sounds like, if I'm universal, I put that story
• 10:06
  Speaker 7: out all day, every day.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Because like, oh, it gets rough in here, guys. You
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: can't handle it. Yeah, but does that look good on
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: them for letting this person go because they did too
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: good of a job?
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You want to hear what it sounded like? Here's a
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: little clip of what she did in it. This is Bear.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: He's my Bear.
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: I love Bear so, so, so.
• 10:26
  Speaker 10: So much.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: That's really good.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: That's in the movie. Actually, I didn't enjoy that. Not
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: that it was scary.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Just, you know. It wasn't good.
• 10:37
  Speaker 11: Yeah, but then go be one of those people that
• 10:39
  Speaker 11: has like the baby flashlight on that says like, don't
• 10:42
  Speaker 11: scare me if you don't want her to come up
• 10:43
  Speaker 11: to you.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: That's weak.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I honestly, I did not know that existed.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely.
• 10:48
  Speaker 11: You can wear a little special flashlight and no one
• 10:51
  Speaker 11: will scare you.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: I just go on a different night.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: I remember I was carrying two trays of food and
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: I just screamed the whole way.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Don't scare me.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I'm carrying food.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Don't scare me.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I'm carrying food. Yeah. All right, well, we're going to
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: take a quick break. Oh, here's a fun joke. 562 says, oh,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: it's JT texting in.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Hi, JT.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Woody, how come gerbils can't drive?
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Because they can't get out of gear.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Get it. A classic.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And now.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: The Woody Show.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And into another new hour. Woody, Greg, Menace. There's Gina Graham.
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: Hi.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Seabass. Yeah.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: He does a lot of guest appearances on different podcasts
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: talking about carton arcs. That's true. They want to talk
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: about it. There's this one I thought was a pretty
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: interesting concept. It's like a live night show that you
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: posted something about it. Yeah. I thought it was part
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: of like an audible or something.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, good.
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: It was like, oh, I'll look it up. I'll figure
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: out what it was.
• 11:58
  Speaker 7: It was like the host is British. It's like called
• 12:00
  Speaker 7: like the night chat or something.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'll find it for you.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: It's like a, it's a live call in. OK. But
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: and they just talk about random different things like like
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: people will just call in with whatever their thoughts are.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Like they're they're they're they're random thoughts like at night.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: It's called the nightly. You know how your brain gets
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: going on things.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Do I.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: And this is a place that you could take that thought.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: And share it.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: And share it. But he speaks like this. Yeah, it
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: was super soothing and calming. You put it on while
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: you're asleep and it's this British guy. I made a
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: note of it to check it out. They don't have
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: a lot of followers either.
• 12:36
  Speaker 7: No, because I thought it was part of like an
• 12:38
  Speaker 7: audible or something, but I guess it's not. It's just
• 12:40
  Speaker 7: some dude, something called Hatch for Sleep.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know who that is. He reached out to you?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they said, hey, would you like to do an interview? Yeah,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: but it was super soothing. The sound of it, Greg,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I think something you would like, you put that on
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: as you're nodding off. But they were talking about card narks.
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: Card narks, card narks, what you gonna do? What you
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: gonna do when they narc on you? Card narks, card narks,
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: what you gonna do? What you gonna do when they
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: narc on you? Cartnarks is filmed alongside the men and
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: women of Cartnarks. Lister discretion is advised.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so Agent Sebastian out there doing the Lord's work,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: trying to get people to do the right thing and
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: return their carts to either the corral or back to
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: the front of the store. Hey, shout out to my
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: local grocery store who has all brand new carts. They're
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: so smooth and so quiet. It's the one at the
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: bottom of the hill right by our house there.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: I didn't realize we had new carts.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: New carts. They are nice. They have a nice little
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: place for hold your drink. Wow, they have a bunch
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: of phone in there. Yeah, they're not all trashed up
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: like all the other ones were. Yeah, they're very nice.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So let's take care of these things. Let's bring them
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: back to the corral or back to the front of
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: the store. They're called lazy bones. They are. And Agent
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Sebastian approaches them and tries to get them.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: To do the right thing.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: We go everywhere for this.
• 13:49
  Speaker 7: I go to a lot of quote-unquote dangerous places, Chicago, Detroit, Oakland.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: So I thought I'd take it easy for this one.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: and go somewhere, just a nice suburb of St. Louis
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: called Ferguson, Missouri.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: Oh, I think I've heard of them. They might have
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: been in the news.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, for quietest, nicest place in the world?
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: So I went to a big box store in Ferguson, Missouri,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: and I noticed this guy. He was loading the back
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: of his hatch on his SUV. He just dumped the
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: cart in the mulch back there.
• 14:15
  Speaker 7: So the next person who wants to do just what
• 14:17
  Speaker 7: he did has to move around his cart to load
• 14:19
  Speaker 7: their stuff, for instance.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: That's called a curbing, is it not?
• 14:22
  Speaker 7: That was a four-wheel curbing because it was fully up
• 14:23
  Speaker 7: in the mulch, yes. So I approached him, and he
• 14:26
  Speaker 7: kind of recognized what was going on. In fact, he
• 14:28
  Speaker 7: calls me the cart police when he sees me. I'm
• 14:32
  Speaker 7: going to leave that cart right there, I hope.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I hope and pray. Yes, sir.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Well, cart and arcs.
• 14:38
  Speaker 7: Get your cart and turn right over there.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Scootin' the wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: I'm pushing on my car, man. I'm telling you, don't
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: touch my motherfucking car.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:46
  Speaker 6: Oh, boy.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: Coming in hot.
• 14:48
  Speaker 7: I didn't take anything out. I didn't show him my magnets,
• 14:51
  Speaker 7: but I was holding them in my hand. I didn't, like, motion.
• 14:53
  Speaker 7: I think he's maybe seen a video. He knew what
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: was going.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: So he went from zero to, don't.
• 14:57
  Speaker 7: Touch my mother-in-law's car, man. So, like, I kind of say, well,
• 15:01
  Speaker 7: hold on. I haven't even really done anything other than
• 15:03
  Speaker 7: point out where you left your car at this point.
• 15:05
  Speaker 7: Why so angry all of a sudden?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Why did you think I was going to.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Don't touch my damn car.
• 15:08
  Speaker 7: Don't touch my motherfucking car, man.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: Hold on.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, motherfucking ass.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Don't touch my motherfucking car.
• 15:15
  Speaker 7: Why do you think I was going to do that?
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: Because you got it in your fucking hand.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: But I had it in my hand a minute ago, too.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Get away from me, man. Yeah, man.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a liar. He knows.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's seen a video before.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Why are people in Ferguson so anxious? It's ridiculous.
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: Anyway, so I still, I'm like, well, maybe if I can.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: He likes, he loves yelling. I like having conversations. Let's
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: see if I can get him to explain himself here.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Why are you so angry?
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: You just said to touch it.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I haven't said.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I was going to touch your car. All I ask
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: is put your car right back, sir.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Leave!
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: So what is that?
• 15:56
  Speaker 7: So he notices, well, this is some car alarm or something.
• 15:58
  Speaker 7: But he notices, running towards us, because there's a man
• 16:01
  Speaker 7: screaming at me, a police officer. Because for some reason,
• 16:05
  Speaker 7: there's a police stationed at the location in Ferguson, Missouri.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, what?
• 16:09
  Speaker 7: So he's yelling to the cop, get this guy the
• 16:11
  Speaker 7: mother effer away from me! And then the cop immediately,
• 16:14
  Speaker 7: you have the last thing the cop says is, leave!
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: To you?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: To me!
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, the wrong side of history.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Because.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Again, wrong side of history. Well, he does see some weirdo, like,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: head to toe, with a bulletproof vest on, and aviators
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: sung up. Out of the ordinary.
• 16:31
  Speaker 7: But it's always like we take the side of the
• 16:34
  Speaker 7: person who's screaming aloud the most, as opposed to the
• 16:36
  Speaker 7: person who's doing the right thing. I have not even
• 16:39
  Speaker 7: threatened to do anything to him at all at this point.
• 16:41
  Speaker 7: I'm just holding magnets.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Now the cop comes to me, and he's in full
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: cop mode, just screaming at me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 6: I am.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Fuck this.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Fuck this.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: To be fair, I didn't do anything to him whatsoever.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir. Are you like the actual YouTube guy?
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir. Are you the actual guy? The actual YouTube guy,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: not the imitator?
• 17:01
  Speaker 7: To break that down, he's, now, get out of here.
• 17:03
  Speaker 7: And then the guy, the lazy bones, oh.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: You punk-ass mother effer, oh, you're the one who got
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: the cops, you bitch. You're the one being a bitch.
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: You're the one being an actual narc, you bitch. Calling
• 17:12
  Speaker 7: me a punk mother effer. And then the cop immediately like.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're the YouTube guy.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: I know you.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Can I get a photo?
• 17:21
  Speaker 7: Well, almost, but for some reason, he thinks... that I
• 17:25
  Speaker 7: shouldn't be at this particular location in Ferguson for whatever reason.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And to be fair, I didn't touch him. He just
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: saw me.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I've watched your videos.
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: I know how it goes, but I'm telling you, dude, here, man,
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: I've seen shootings in this parking lot.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: What?
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, he's trying to help you.
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: Slash threaten you.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty much. And there was not one, but two
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: cops there. He had his little, like, trainee with him, too.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: But he was very nice. Like, oh, man, yeah, you know,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: just kind of get out of here.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Not smart.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: You're going to get shot, you know, whatever.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: So sadly, this is what I hate, is that Lazy
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Bones thinks... Man, I told him to F off. The
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: cop was on my side.
• 17:57
  Speaker 7: I don't think I'll leave my, but that's why we
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: do the segment is so yeah, he, he will have
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: the same loser attitude, but somewhere out there, hopefully the
• 18:04
  Speaker 7: audience will.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: He's going to teach the youth of today how to
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: handle their cars. It's going to be a vicious cycle.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: By the way, I'm on Ferguson Zillow and you can
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: get a lovely home for $ 30, 000. Oh, that's a good deal.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Get two.
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: So this guy, we've talked about him before, The Legal Beef.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: He's an Instagram lawyer.
• 18:23
  Speaker 7: He caught attention to a classics Cartnark episode of me
• 18:26
  Speaker 7: versus the lady, the lazy bones-itis lady who's throwing drinks
• 18:29
  Speaker 7: at me and threatening to.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Run me over and stuff.
• 18:31
  Speaker 7: And because people think Some, I mean, a small minority
• 18:34
  Speaker 7: think that when they watch those videos, like, yeah, you
• 18:36
  Speaker 7: can do that. You can just toss your drink at
• 18:38
  Speaker 7: somebody and threaten to run them over.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: And that's totally legal. Well, thankfully, the legal beef is
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: here to set them straight.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: This lady is about to commit a lot of crimes.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: That's not where the cart goes. That's in the handicapped walkway.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I do have a handicap, actually. But I get what
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: you're saying. Is it lazy bonsitis? Don't hit me, ma'am.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to hit you.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to take your glasses. I'm going to throw
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: them on the ground. So what crimes did she commit?
• 18:57
  Speaker 7: Reaching for the glasses on his face while saying she's
• 19:00
  Speaker 7: going to take them is assault.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: Assault doesn't actually.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Require hitting or touching someone. The threat of imminent harmful.
• 19:06
  Speaker 7: Or offensive contact is enough.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: Then she throws her drinks on him. That's battery, actual
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: harmful or offensive contact. No injuries are required. And when
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: she threatens to run him over, threatening someone with serious
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: violence can also be a crime. Lastly, coming after him
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: with pepper spray while threatening him, that's another assault. She
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: doesn't actually have to spray him. Bottom line, lady, being
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: offended isn't worth a criminal record.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he did a great video on battery and assault.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: And he had all these evidence and he goes, this
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: is battery. This is assault. That's assault. This is battery. Yeah,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: people don't know. The videos of the kids who were
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: doing the wheelies on the bicycles and they get really
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: close to somebody and then swerve away at the last second. Ah,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: tricked you. Technically a crime.
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah, because you're putting them in reasonable fear of getting
• 20:04
  Speaker 7: hit in the face by your bike.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's assault.
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Or battery.
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Assault, yes. When you're going right toward them. Right, because
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: you might jump to the ground or something. Yeah, or
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you cock back with your fist and you make it look...
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Because I reasonable person would expect you're going to get punched.
• 20:18
  Speaker 7: And by the way, what she said she was going
• 20:20
  Speaker 7: to run me over, that's probably aggravated assault because.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: She did sound aggravated. And she could kill me. So
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: thank you, Legal Beef.
• 20:28
  Speaker 7: Another Carton Arcs person who's caught some attention... Would you
• 20:31
  Speaker 7: believe a pastor made an entire sermon about cart darts?
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: I'm going to go to church now.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I'd be curious on which side.
• 20:40
  Speaker 7: Hold that thought about if you want to go see
• 20:42
  Speaker 7: this guy or not. But this is Pastor Oz, A-W-E-S,
• 20:45
  Speaker 7: and here is part of his sermon.
• 20:46
  Speaker 10: Put your shopping cart away, you degenerate, lazy bum.
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: Okay?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I almost named this sermon, Put Your Shopping Cart Away.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: Okay?
• 20:56
  Speaker 10: Let me tell you, you could tell a lot from
• 20:58
  Speaker 10: a person that doesn't put their shopping cart away. They
• 21:01
  Speaker 10: have no consideration for anyone else. Someone else is going
• 21:05
  Speaker 10: to pick up their mess. They're too lazy to walk
• 21:07
  Speaker 10: two feet to the stall. They're going to let some
• 21:10
  Speaker 10: car hit it. They're going to let someone walk over it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 10: What a lazy thing to do.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Preach. Love this dude.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Tell it.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Now, to be fair. I think Menace is looking at
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: his page. This guy's a little bit of a nut. Oh, no.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: He probably wouldn't actually like you, Gina.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: So many reasons.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Am I kind of a Jew?
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: But I like him. Again, we separate the art from
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: the artist sort of.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Thing, maybe.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like you'd be a big fan of
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Greg either.
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: Nope. Oh, no.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: No gays, no Jews.
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: I'm not promoting everything he does.
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: Okay, so should I take back I want to go
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: to his church?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: That'd be an interesting experience. Here he continues.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: I saw this funny YouTube channel. It's called Cartnark. Has
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: anyone seen this?
• 21:54
  Speaker 10: This guy, his whole channel is he shames people for
• 21:56
  Speaker 10: not putting away their shopping cart. He has like these
• 22:00
  Speaker 10: big magnets that says like, I'm lazy bones. And he
• 22:03
  Speaker 10: throws it on people's cars. And he just says like, oh,
• 22:05
  Speaker 10: put your shopping cart back. Boom, he throws it on
• 22:06
  Speaker 10: their car.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not recommending you do that, okay?
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: You're going to get shot. But man, you should be
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: ashamed if you don't put your shopping cart back.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: All right, so loves cart narks, hates juice.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: And gays.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: And gays. Okay, so you know. Take the good with
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: the bad, or you pick a la carte. Well, Craig,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: look at the picture.
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: I mean, straight as an arrow, right?
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, yeah. He doesn't like gay people.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Come on now.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, well, there you go.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Hard nards.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Hard nards.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Putting himself in harm's way for the good of society.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: According to local cops.
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: What do you think I'm doing?
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: Hold on.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Why do you think I was going to do that?
• 22:47
  Speaker 7: But I had my hand a minute ago, too.