Latest / The Heart-Led Business Show / Heartfelt Leadership Unlocks Profits with Randy Lyman
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker: Welcome to The Heart-Led Business Show, where compassion meets commerce and leaders lead with love.
- 0:09Speaker: Join your host, Tom Jackobs, as he delves into the insightful conversations with visionary business leaders who defy the status quo, putting humanity first and profit second.
- 0:20Speaker: From heartfelt strategies to inspiring stories, this podcast is your compass in the world of conscious capitalism.
- 0:29Speaker: So buckle up and let your heart guide your business journey.
- 0:36Tom Jackobs: Back to the heart-led business show where we blend passion with purpose.
- 0:41Tom Jackobs: And today we have the pleasure of chatting with Randy Lyman, the maestro of emotional, intelligent, and the architect of authentic leadership.
- 0:50Tom Jackobs: He's here to share his wisdom from his book, the Third Element, and How he transformed his path from Corporate Success to Heartfelt Connection.
- 0:59Tom Jackobs: So get ready to unlock your potential as Randy reveals the beauty of leading with love and emotional truth.
- 1:05Tom Jackobs: Randy, welcome to the show.
- 1:07Randy Lyman: Hello, Tom.
- 1:07Randy Lyman: Good to be here.
- 1:08Tom Jackobs: I'm really excited to talk to you about.
- 1:11Tom Jackobs: All about your business and what makes it Heart-Led, but of course, the first question I always like to ask is, what's your definition of a Heart-Led Business?
- 1:19Randy Lyman: While a heart-led business means we show up, understanding that we are all spiritual beings on a human path, and anything we do together whether we want to or not, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.
- 1:31Randy Lyman: When we show up as a leader, that's because we're leading somebody.
- 1:34Randy Lyman: We can't do the job by ourselves.
- 1:36Randy Lyman: And the best way for corporate success is success through our teams.
- 1:42Randy Lyman: And the best way for success through our teams is connection with our teams.
- 1:46Randy Lyman: And that's where our heartfelt leader shows up and is experienced and acknowledged completely different by their team than somebody who's just there to drive them.
- 1:55Randy Lyman: One of the challenges with that is we have to take risks and try new things in order to find out what works and if we are in a position where we're worried about our business succeeding, then that's a big risk.
- 2:06Randy Lyman: If we're in a position where we're worried about getting a promotion, that's a big risk.
- 2:09Randy Lyman: And if nobody shows us how to do it, we're gonna make some mistakes along the way.
- 2:13Randy Lyman: I'm a risk taker.
- 2:14Randy Lyman: I made a lot of mistakes and I figured out a lot of things by making those mistakes and was able to correct and learn and really share, now share those successful approaches with other people.
- 2:23Randy Lyman: But it's a risk to start down a path that's undefined.
- 2:27Randy Lyman: The heart-led side of it's done right, really drives the business and the numbers don't drive people.
- 2:33Randy Lyman: People drive the numbers.
- 2:35Randy Lyman: And so the heartfelt connection that we have with our teams, that drives, motivates, inspires people to be their best and when they are and when they're given good guidance and direction, then the business finds more success than it would have without the heartfelt leader.
- 2:51Randy Lyman: And that's the irony.
- 2:53Randy Lyman: It's absolutely ironic that when we show up caring about people first, then the numbers really show a positive response to that.
- 3:01Randy Lyman: And in business, the only way we're going to be able to support our customers, support our employees, support ourselves, just to be able to find success.
- 3:07Randy Lyman: And so we're always worried, oh my God, I gotta have the success, I've gotta have the numbers, I've gotta have the profits and all that.
- 3:14Randy Lyman: But again, what I learned through my experimentation was how to interact with teams in a way that they drive the profits, they're concerned and they're interested in the success of the business.
- 3:25Randy Lyman: And we get to that level of the team members being interested in the success of the business, and the business finds more success.
- 3:31Randy Lyman: I've had several situations where leaders within my business were not approaching their team from a heartfelt point of view from a heartfelt position.
- 3:42Randy Lyman: And when they did that, it did of course cause challenges within the group.
- 3:46Randy Lyman: And I've had success working with those leaders to help them become more vulnerable, to become more genuine to show up more authentically.
- 3:54Randy Lyman: And I've had situations where even one of my best friends ever in the early two thousands was not able to become clear enough to show up genuine.
- 4:05Randy Lyman: With authenticity and vulnerability, and I had to let them go.
- 4:09Randy Lyman: That was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make in my business.
- 4:12Randy Lyman: But I've had others where when we sit down and we talk about, okay, what's going on?
- 4:15Randy Lyman: What are you thinking?
- 4:16Randy Lyman: And then underneath, what are you thinking?
- 4:18Randy Lyman: What are you feeling?
- 4:19Randy Lyman: What's irritating you?
- 4:21Randy Lyman: And can we get to whatever the underlying emotional challenge is now?
- 4:26Randy Lyman: In business, we're taught to look at operational challenges.
- 4:29Randy Lyman: We're taught to look at logistics and all those things are still very important, but when we have a relationship challenge, it comes down to somebody having an emotional wound from the past and they're not willing to address and look at that emotional wound.
- 4:42Randy Lyman: So first we have to be aware of it, and then we have to be willing to look at it and address it, and then we have to be willing to be vulnerable to the pain.
- 4:50Randy Lyman: Of addressing our emotional wounds, and I am educated as a scientist.
- 4:55Randy Lyman: I'm a mechanical engineer with multiple patents.
- 4:57Randy Lyman: I'm an Ink 500 entrepreneur.
- 5:00Randy Lyman: Yet my success came not from being smart and from working hard.
- 5:04Randy Lyman: Those helped, but from being able to work through my own emotional wounds to deal with my disappointment and my loneliness, to deal with my own anger issues, and to work through my own emotional challenges.
- 5:15Randy Lyman: In a space away from business.
- 5:17Randy Lyman: Now, once I became comfortable with that, then I could help my other business leaders that I worked with become comfortable with their own emotional challenges and work through them with exercises and processes and things that are proven that work to help us become more clear, put our personal baggage aside and show up.
- 5:36Randy Lyman: As caring, considerate leaders who people respond to.
- 5:42Randy Lyman: So it's a, it's always still about logistics and operations and accounting.
- 5:48Randy Lyman: Underneath that, what really drives that is when leaders can say, okay, I have my own issues.
- 5:52Randy Lyman: I'm gonna work through them.
- 5:53Randy Lyman: I'm gonna show up in a way that is more authentic and more genuine so that people I'm leading can feel me in a positive way and can respond to me in a positive way.
- 6:04Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 6:05Tom-Jackobs: And I can imagine that, that transformation that you went through.
- 6:10Tom-Jackobs: To become that heart-led leader was somewhat challenging maybe at the time.
- 6:17Tom-Jackobs: What was that like for you in terms of where you had to recognize that you needed to change and become the heart-led leader?
- 6:25Tom-Jackobs: That process like?
- 6:26Randy Lyman: As I learned about the law of attraction, and some people don't believe in that, but let's just say when I show up happier, the people around me are gonna be happier and let's leave it that simple for now.
- 6:34Randy Lyman: And we can always go into that in depth if that's on another show or another topic.
- 6:37Randy Lyman: But when I learned that the world responds to who I am at a deeper level, not just how I act and what I say.
- 6:45Randy Lyman: But how I feel when I show up, when I realize that when I walk in the room, people can feel me before they can hear me.
- 6:51Randy Lyman: And sometimes even before they can see me, I said, I need to experiment with this.
- 6:56Randy Lyman: And I had different businesses, I had different departments.
- 6:59Randy Lyman: So I chose one of my smaller departments.
- 7:01Randy Lyman: And it was interesting, it was in, I had a differential repair service shop in Sacramento, California.
- 7:06Randy Lyman: And so I said, I'm gonna try with these guys.
- 7:08Randy Lyman: It was, I dunno, eight guys.
- 7:10Randy Lyman: And so I said, let's go to dinner and we're gonna talk about what you'd like to see different in the business.
- 7:15Randy Lyman: So first I got them to open up.
- 7:17Randy Lyman: First we established communications.
- 7:19Randy Lyman: Then when I heard what they wanted to work through, then I got to work through their challenges.
- 7:23Randy Lyman: And eventually I got to work through, Hey, let's figure out a way that together we can see the outcomes we want for the business, and together we can figure out how to make changes to get the outcomes for the business.
- 7:34Randy Lyman: So it was group problem solving.
- 7:36Randy Lyman: That sounds really simple, but to me it was very scary.
- 7:39Randy Lyman: Because what happens if they come up with a solution that sucks?
- 7:42Randy Lyman: What happens if I have to disagree with them?
- 7:45Randy Lyman: What happens if I have to say no, we can't do what you guys wanna do, guys.
- 7:47Randy Lyman: Now I've created more problems than I had before I started.
- 7:51Randy Lyman: I didn't really have any problems, but I wanted an improvement, so I took that risk and.
- 7:55Randy Lyman: I learned some things along the way.
- 7:57Randy Lyman: I learned that before people can really become part of planning and problem solving, we have to teach them how to plan and how to problem solve.
- 8:04Randy Lyman: And I've broken that down into four steps.
- 8:05Randy Lyman: So that becomes easy discovery, assessment, prioritization, and execution.
- 8:09Randy Lyman: So once I taught them that, then our communications changed.
- 8:13Randy Lyman: I had to teach them to disagree with each other openly in a way that was civil, in a way that was caring and compassion.
- 8:19Randy Lyman: So we almost did our own mediations in a way.
- 8:21Randy Lyman: If somebody disagreed, we knew how to communicate that.
- 8:24Randy Lyman: And then most importantly, I had to learn how to listen without being ready to respond.
- 8:30Randy Lyman: I had to learn to put my thought process aside.
- 8:33Randy Lyman: I had to be open to whatever they had to say and I had to do, I had to learn the pregnant pause, give them a lot of time to respond if they want to and if they don't.
- 8:43Randy Lyman: Ask them more questions.
- 8:44Randy Lyman: So all this was, can sound really simple.
- 8:47Randy Lyman: Oh yeah, I could do this.
- 8:48Randy Lyman: But when I had to put it into practice and there was the chance that things could go sideways and everything can turn upside down, that was risky.
- 8:56Randy Lyman: But what I learned was, again, I learned the listening.
- 8:58Randy Lyman: I learned to teach people how to problem solve, and I learned that people want to show up and be acknowledged for who they are.
- 9:05Randy Lyman: They want to feel like they're contributing to the cause and they wanna feel like they belong to the group.
- 9:10Randy Lyman: And when I was able to actually quantify that, the acknowledgement, contribution and the belonging, then I was able to interact differently.
- 9:19Randy Lyman: And so these are real simple things that I integrated all together by making a lot of mistakes.
- 9:24Randy Lyman: And I was fortunate.
- 9:26Randy Lyman: I had, so for example, Robert.
- 9:27Randy Lyman: Robert was really difficult to deal with.
- 9:30Randy Lyman: You disagreed with everything.
- 9:33Randy Lyman: And so I asked at this first dinner, I said, Robert you have any ideas on what you could do?
- 9:37Randy Lyman: And he says I think we should be open six days a week instead of five days a week.
- 9:39Randy Lyman: And he said we can't for these reasons, but thank you for sharing that.
- 9:42Randy Lyman: He said, okay.
- 9:44Randy Lyman: That's the first time Robert ever said okay to anything.
- 9:46Randy Lyman: He always wanted to argue.
- 9:47Randy Lyman: I said hang on.
- 9:49Randy Lyman: What's going on?
- 9:49Randy Lyman: You just said, okay.
- 9:51Randy Lyman: He says, you listen to what I have to say, and you heard me, and that was an epiphany to me.
- 9:57Randy Lyman: This person who was used to arguing about everything was suddenly okay with me disagreeing.
- 10:03Randy Lyman: That was because I listened and that his response, his clear response of because you listened to me, helped me realize that I hadn't been listening.
- 10:11Randy Lyman: It helped me realize that we could disagree with each other if we spent the time to actually pay attention to what the other person was saying.
- 10:19Randy Lyman: And that was one of the that was one of the times when I was divinely guided to learn something new and if we set out on a path of I'm gonna learn how to do this, and I'm gonna find success, and I'm determined to find success, then the entire universe gets behind us and helps us find success if we're doing it from a place of caring and what's good for the entire group.
- 10:37Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 10:38Tom-Jackobs: So how long did that process take?
- 10:40Tom-Jackobs: Surely it wasn't just one dinner and then solution.
- 10:45Tom-Jackobs: So like, how long, how many dinners did it actually take to, get everybody to open up and really share?
- 10:52Randy Lyman: Two or three dinners set the tone, and then when they knew that I was listening to them because I responded to what they had to share with me, I didn't just let it go in one ear and out the other and then do something different.
- 11:02Randy Lyman: My actions had to follow my words, and when they did, then they built trust in me.
- 11:06Randy Lyman: And then our meetings at work we're different.
- 11:09Randy Lyman: Our morning meeting was different.
- 11:10Randy Lyman: If we had a challenge and we had to discuss it individually or as a group, they went different.
- 11:15Randy Lyman: So I set the tone through the offsite dinner meetings, and then I built the trust by following through on what I said I would do.
- 11:24Randy Lyman: And then as my team started to trust me more and realized I valued them than they interacted differently.
- 11:30Randy Lyman: And then that trust in me became trust in them because also, if I don't have trust in my team, they can't have trust in me.
- 11:37Randy Lyman: So it took months, it took probably three months before it really took hold.
- 11:41Randy Lyman: I had to be steady, I had to be consistent.
- 11:43Randy Lyman: And within a year.
- 11:44Randy Lyman: Huge differences in how smooth things ran and our profitability increased.
- 11:49Randy Lyman: So it, it's not easy and it's a big investment of time, but here's the thing that people don't realize upfront.
- 11:55Randy Lyman: That investment of time gave me free time to attend to other things rather than having to be there and babysit the business and babysit the team.
- 12:03Randy Lyman: And I know I didn't have to babysit'em, but I'm using extreme terms and that investment and time gave me my time back, gave me my peace of mind and allowed them.
- 12:12Randy Lyman: To learn how to lead themselves.
- 12:14Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 12:15Tom-Jackobs: Oh wow.
- 12:16Tom-Jackobs: That's, that's fascinating case study.
- 12:20Tom-Jackobs: And what were some of the results that actually happened?
- 12:23Tom-Jackobs: Did you actually, change the time to six days a week versus five days a week, or?
- 12:28Randy Lyman: No, I still disagreed with Robert, but he understood why.
- 12:31Randy Lyman: And for me, it's really important in the business that I was in where I had mechanics in the differential repair shop who had to be able to follow a job through from beginning to completion.
- 12:41Randy Lyman: They had to be there on the day the customer picked up their vehicle.
- 12:43Randy Lyman: And I like to give people two days off.
- 12:45Randy Lyman: To do what they wanna do.
- 12:47Randy Lyman: I don't even bother my my executive assistant on the weekends, unless I absolutely have to when I'm traveling because I think people need some time to recoup and recover.
- 12:55Randy Lyman: Then they can be extremely focused on what they need to be doing at work.
- 12:58Randy Lyman: Now, it's a different work environment for so many today because we're virtual, but we still need time to to recover and to have our own enjoy the things that we wanna enjoy in life that are outside of work.
- 13:10Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 13:11Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 13:12Tom-Jackobs: So you did this experiment with this one department.
- 13:15Tom-Jackobs: Then did you take that to the rest of the companies that you worked with, or, how did you roll this out after?
- 13:22Randy Lyman: Then I worked at, I rolled it out into my sales group and as we know, sales is is the face of the business.
- 13:28Randy Lyman: So that's one place I definitely wanted to know that I knew what I was doing and I had a idea how to find success before I took this to my sales group.
- 13:36Randy Lyman: So I took it to one of my sales groups and we found good success.
- 13:39Randy Lyman: And from there I rolled it out simultaneously to several groups.
- 13:43Randy Lyman: Once I got through my second my second team and I had success with that team, then I rolled it out to a, pretty much the entire company and it changed the tone.
- 13:54Randy Lyman: And the tone of a company is not easy to sense when we're in our heads and we're thinking, and we're acting and we're planning and doing all those things.
- 14:03Randy Lyman: But over time, what it came down to for me was I could walk into a room and I, at times found people problem solving together.
- 14:10Randy Lyman: Imagine that.
- 14:11Randy Lyman: I found that people just seemed happier and that's something we can measure.
- 14:14Randy Lyman: And I found that I was more comfortable on Sunday nights.
- 14:19Randy Lyman: On Sunday nights, I would start to worry about what I have to do Monday to keep the business on track.
- 14:23Randy Lyman: And my Sunday nights became more calm and I was anticipating going to work rather than worrying about going to work.
- 14:31Randy Lyman: And.
- 14:32Randy Lyman: During that time, the businesses all were growing and I was continuing to have more and more success.
- 14:38Randy Lyman: But I saw the key numbers, the dollars pro gross profit per call increase.
- 14:43Randy Lyman: I saw the sales commission's calculations.
- 14:46Randy Lyman: I saw that people were selling more.
- 14:48Randy Lyman: I saw the errors in inventory counts go down, and those are the things that really were the, those were the monetary rewards.
- 14:56Randy Lyman: And at the same time, I had the personal rewards of seeing people.
- 15:00Randy Lyman: Realize how capable they were and take ownership of their positions at work.
- 15:05Randy Lyman: And then they just seem to be brighter and they seem to be in a position where they're able to help the people around them more.
- 15:13Randy Lyman: And all those things had a positive effect on my emotional state, their emotional state, and the success of the business.
- 15:19Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 15:21Tom-Jackobs: So how would you handle then and you work with other companies now, is that that's right.
- 15:26Randy Lyman: Yes I do.
- 15:27Tom-Jackobs: So how do you deal with an executive that is not getting it like and trying to bring them around if you can.
- 15:37Randy Lyman: Two things that really matter.
- 15:39Randy Lyman: Two, two words.
- 15:40Randy Lyman: I go back to curiosity and deeper.
- 15:42Randy Lyman: So they have to be curious about what else is possible, and they have to be curious and interested in learning new things.
- 15:48Randy Lyman: If they're not, it's not gonna work.
- 15:49Randy Lyman: And then second, if they're interested in a deeper point of view.
- 15:54Randy Lyman: First about themselves, how can I improve?
- 15:56Randy Lyman: And then how can I look at my team dynamics?
- 15:58Randy Lyman: How can I look at my business from a different perspective and go to a deeper root cause of what's really bringing us success or keeping us from success?
- 16:10Randy Lyman: And again, I'm a scientist.
- 16:12Randy Lyman: I'm still action first and planning.
- 16:15Randy Lyman: But I understand the importance of the emotional aspect of the human experience.
- 16:20Randy Lyman: So I always.
- 16:21Randy Lyman: Look at my own problems of what do I need to feel?
- 16:24Randy Lyman: What do I need to heal from the past, and when I can help people understand.
- 16:28Randy Lyman: Hey, you have some frustration here, and let's not push all this out on the operations.
- 16:33Randy Lyman: Yes, we may have to set boundaries.
- 16:35Randy Lyman: We may have to change our operational approach, but let's look at you, the leader, and how are you feeling and why are you feeling this way, and can you find a way to work through this inner turmoil in a way that you show up more clear and caring and compassionate so that people can first feel you.
- 16:54Randy Lyman: Then once they feel you, they can hear you.
- 16:56Randy Lyman: Because if they feel tension from us.
- 16:59Randy Lyman: They feel tension when we show up.
- 17:01Randy Lyman: They're guarded, they're not listening to our great ideas and our plan.
- 17:05Randy Lyman: They're not getting on board with what we wanna accomplish.
- 17:08Randy Lyman: They're protecting themselves.
- 17:09Randy Lyman: And that's a natural human response.
- 17:12Randy Lyman: And if I walk into a room anywhere, whether it's in, in a cashier at Home Depot, or whether I walk into a team meeting, if somebody is tense, I feel that.
- 17:20Randy Lyman: And then I'm trying to navigate that and it gets in the way of progress.
- 17:24Randy Lyman: So the personal approach to what am I feeling from the past that I can work through curiosity and an openness to look at that from a deeper perspective.
- 17:34Randy Lyman: That's what leaders need.
- 17:35Randy Lyman: And when leaders have that, they're easy to work with the right approach.
- 17:39Randy Lyman: But if they don't have that, there's no way I'm ever going to get them to open up to showing up vulnerable and genuine and authentic.
- 17:47Randy Lyman: Now, if they are open to a different approach.
- 17:51Randy Lyman: Then I have systems and processes.
- 17:54Randy Lyman: Some of'em I outline in my book The Third Element in chapter seven, there's 14 different processes for working through our emotional challenges.
- 18:00Randy Lyman: Some of'em are as simple as journaling that's safe for a left brain leader right down the list of the problem.
- 18:05Randy Lyman: So we step through it.
- 18:06Randy Lyman: We work with lists, we work we some visualizations.
- 18:09Randy Lyman: We work through simple EFT tapping and breathing exercises that are tangible and that are acceptable for a person who is.
- 18:18Randy Lyman: Really starting out from an intellectual perspective to open them up to the perspective of, hey, there could be some underlying emotional issues that are going to help.
- 18:27Randy Lyman: And it doesn't mean we're gonna make decisions based on emotions, doesn't mean we're gonna let emotional people control us, or people who are being emotional control us.
- 18:35Randy Lyman: It means we're going to be aware of the emotional component and we're gonna balance on a three-legged stool of thoughts and information of our actions.
- 18:44Randy Lyman: And the emotional component, and when we have balance on that three-legged stool, it all comes together better for the business.
- 18:50Tom-Jackobs: Yeah, that's so much to unpack there.
- 18:53Tom-Jackobs: I'm really curious too, though, have you worked with leaders that are too far on the other side?
- 19:00Tom-Jackobs: So we have the leaders that are not emotionally connected and then you need to work with them to become connected.
- 19:06Tom-Jackobs: But what about the leaders that are way emotionally connected and are really looking at the business.
- 19:11Tom-Jackobs: and the numbers appropriately in the business that might be faltering, but they have a great heart.
- 19:16Tom-Jackobs: Like how.
- 19:18Tom-Jackobs: How, or have you worked with people like that?
- 19:21Tom-Jackobs: I have ano, and when people are sympathetic rather than empathetic, they're allowing other people's emotions.
- 19:28Tom-Jackobs: They're internalizing those.
- 19:30Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 19:30Randy Lyman: And they're symp, they're sympathizing, and they're in resonance with them without separating out their own emotional wounding or their own emotional response or their attachment style or lots of different ways of looking at the psychology of it.
- 19:43Randy Lyman: But they're not separating out and saying, this is outside of me and this is what I get to work on.
- 19:49Randy Lyman: And once they work through their own wounds that are bring, that are coming up.
- 19:53Randy Lyman: And they say, oh, wow.
- 19:55Randy Lyman: I have something I need to feel and I can work through.
- 19:58Randy Lyman: Then they get to a place where their thoughts can be more involved.
- 20:02Randy Lyman: Their thinking, logical mind can be more involved and they can take the action they need to if they've been in a place where they're paralyzed.
- 20:08Randy Lyman: But.
- 20:08Randy Lyman: People who are emotionally centered, and some of us, some people are, I'm not any better than anybody else.
- 20:13Randy Lyman: I'm just different.
- 20:14Randy Lyman: But if somebody's emotionally centered, they tend to go to their emotions first, and sometimes they get stuck there.
- 20:19Randy Lyman: But when we can help them get to a deeper feeling and understanding of their emotional experience, they can work through it because emotions are bigger than time and space.
- 20:29Randy Lyman: That energy.
- 20:30Randy Lyman: Doesn't change until we address it.
- 20:32Randy Lyman: People say time heals all wounds.
- 20:34Randy Lyman: No time doesn't fix it at all.
- 20:36Randy Lyman: Diving in and feeling the pain or feeling the joy that we were told not to feel when we were children and feeling whatever it is that we're avoiding feeling when we do that.
- 20:45Randy Lyman: And we can do it in a personal space.
- 20:46Randy Lyman: We don't have to do it at work, but we can do that and we can work through that emotional pain, that energy, that energetic frequency that's getting in the way of our clarity that's released and gone.
- 20:58Randy Lyman: But again, it's bigger than time and space.
- 21:00Randy Lyman: And the only time, the only way we can.
- 21:03Randy Lyman: Release that emotional and not gonna just call it trauma.
- 21:06Randy Lyman: It can be something really simple.
- 21:08Randy Lyman: Maybe in the eighth grade, I'm sitting next to a girl I got a crush on and somebody makes fun of me.
- 21:11Randy Lyman: Their teacher says, don't speak.
- 21:15Randy Lyman: That's really simple Now, as an adult, right?
- 21:17Randy Lyman: But as an eighth grader next to sitting next to my crush, that's emotionally devastating.
- 21:22Randy Lyman: And if I didn't feel that completely, that energy stored in my energy field, in my being, so it's like gasoline.
- 21:28Randy Lyman: Gasoline.
- 21:29Randy Lyman: I can store gasoline in a metal can for 10 or 20 years.
- 21:32Randy Lyman: When I pour it out, it still burns, but once I burn it, it only has to be burned once.
- 21:37Randy Lyman: So our emotional trauma, when we feel it completely one time, it gets rid of most of it.
- 21:42Randy Lyman: Maybe there it's like peeling an onion and there's more layers to get through.
- 21:44Randy Lyman: But every time we release that, that emotional trauma, good, bad, or otherwise, now that energy is not in our field and we can show up.
- 21:54Randy Lyman: More clearly in our intellect and more clearly in the actions that we take.
- 21:58Randy Lyman: So emotional people who are on the surface of their emotions without diving down into the deeper part.
- 22:04Randy Lyman: That's scary for everybody.
- 22:05Randy Lyman: It was scary for me to start opening Pandora's box of emotions, but when I did.
- 22:11Randy Lyman: And I worked through some of that pain.
- 22:13Randy Lyman: Then it became easier and eventually it got to a place where I'm like, oh yeah, I gotta dive in and feel this, and my world will become more clear and my work will become easier and my job will become easier.
- 22:25Randy Lyman: And that's a process and that's a path.
- 22:27Randy Lyman: But emotional people who tend to act emotional first can learn to be comfortable with their emotions in the way they let that energy out of the way, and then they contend to the numbers, then they contend to the planning.
- 22:39Randy Lyman: Then they can take the action they need to take.
- 22:41Tom-Jackobs: Yeah, that's probably one of the best explanations of stored energy trauma that I've heard in a long time.
- 22:47Tom-Jackobs: So thank you for that very much, that it totally makes sense that If you don't feel the feels all the way through, then.
- 22:54Tom-Jackobs: That's gonna be stuck in somewhere in your body.
- 22:57Randy Lyman: If I can add one thing to that which is the human mind, the thinking mind is never in the present moment.
- 23:05Randy Lyman: Yes, we can observe in the moment, but the thinking mind, our thoughts are never in the present moment.
- 23:10Randy Lyman: Our body is only in the present moment.
- 23:13Randy Lyman: And here's the real important part, our emotions, no, no time at all.
- 23:18Randy Lyman: They can only come through and be experienced through our bodily sensations in the present moment.
- 23:23Randy Lyman: So if I'm in my mind, disconnected from my body, I can't clear out my emotional trauma, I have to be in a place where I'm breathing.
- 23:31Randy Lyman: I'm doing a EFT, tapping.
- 23:32Randy Lyman: I'm exercising, working out, punching a punching bag.
- 23:35Randy Lyman: I'm feeling my physical experience.
- 23:38Randy Lyman: Then I can feel those old emotional wounds and trauma and release them.
- 23:43Randy Lyman: But I can never work through emotional challenges with my thinking mind.
- 23:48Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 23:49Tom-Jackobs: It's so interesting too that you can dream and then wake up and you have this whole physiological effect that, you know, if you're dreaming that you're running or is a nightmare and your heart's racing and you're exhausting and you're breathing heavy, and it's ah, wait a second.
- 24:02Tom-Jackobs: I was just sleeping.
- 24:03Tom-Jackobs: It was all in the head, and the head was controlling the body.
- 24:06Tom-Jackobs: And if, like what you're saying, if you're disconnected from the thought and the body, you can't release that energy.
- 24:13Randy Lyman: We have a story when we have any situation where we're going to move towards it, away from it, our emotions, and we make a story.
- 24:19Randy Lyman: This is great.
- 24:20Randy Lyman: Good emotions go towards it.
- 24:22Randy Lyman: That emotional guidance is valid in that moment.
- 24:24Randy Lyman: Once the moment passes, it's not valid.
- 24:26Randy Lyman: Okay?
- 24:27Randy Lyman: Something happens that's scary.
- 24:28Randy Lyman: I create a story in my head.
- 24:30Randy Lyman: My body responds with hormones and adrenaline and emotions.
- 24:35Randy Lyman: And that guidance of emotion is valid in the moment, but once the moment passes, if I didn't feel that emotion completely, it stores in my being and it gets in the way of me being clear.
- 24:46Randy Lyman: So that emotional energy is a valid part of the human experience.
- 24:50Randy Lyman: Whatever emotion we feel in the moment is valid in the moment, but if we don't feel it and release it, it lingers on and it's no longer valid.
- 24:58Randy Lyman: And it influences us in ways that are just not valid and appropriate.
- 25:02Tom-Jackobs: Yeah.
- 25:02Tom-Jackobs: Oh boy.
- 25:03Tom-Jackobs: A lot of work to be done, for sure.
- 25:06Tom-Jackobs: Tell us how can people learn more about what you do and how you're able to help organizations?
- 25:11Randy Lyman: Most of what I do is out there in the world right now is on a personal level and helping organizations.
- 25:17Randy Lyman: What I have is I have written procedures and processes and such that can be implemented with teams.
- 25:23Randy Lyman: I have procedures and workbooks and worksheets and stuff.
- 25:27Randy Lyman: I work through with people on personal leadership coaching.
- 25:30Randy Lyman: So a lot of what I do in leadership coaching is not out in the world right now, but I implemented this in my business over a period of 25 years before I sold my business 10 years ago.
- 25:41Randy Lyman: And again, they can't find that directly, but they can book a call with me, they can DM me, they can email me, and we can have a exploratory call to talk about if what has worked for me, will work for them and their business, but other than that, randylyman.com, my website is a great way to see what I do on a more public personal level.
- 26:00Randy Lyman: And if they say, yeah, that makes sense, then I'd be glad to engage on a exploratory call.
- 26:06Tom Jackobs: Awesome.
- 26:06Tom Jackobs: That's great.
- 26:07Tom Jackobs: We'll link your website on the the show notes so people are easily can get to that as well.
- 26:13Tom Jackobs: Randy, this is a fascinating conversation and just the emotional piece of it and how to manage that while it's still being a heart-led business owner is I think it was very valuable for our audience to hear today.
- 26:25Tom Jackobs: So thank you for sharing that.
- 26:27Randy Lyman: You're welcome.
- 26:27Randy Lyman: Thank you for having me on.
- 26:28Randy Lyman: And you, I loved your questions and this was a fun experience for me.
- 26:32Tom Jackobs: Awesome.
- 26:34Tom Jackobs: And thank you listeners for tuning into the heart-led business show today.
- 26:38Tom Jackobs: I certainly appreciate you and I know Randy appreciates you tuning in as well and make sure that you're checking out everything that Randy's doing.
- 26:44Tom Jackobs: We're gonna provide all of that down in the show notes, so make sure you're clicking away down there.
- 26:49Tom Jackobs: And you might actually see in the show notes this little thing called review now, if you could do me a big favor and give the show a rating and a review, I would really appreciate it because it does help other people find the heart-led business show and, get more advice on being more heart-led and still be thriving in the business.
- 27:10Tom Jackobs: So until next time, lead with your heart.
- 27:14Speaker 2: You've been listening to The Heart-Led Business Show, hosted by Tom Jackobs.
- 27:19Speaker 2: Join us next time for another inspiring journey into the heart of business.