Latest / The One Small Change Podcast / Transforming Your Mindset & Subconscious Beliefs with Judy Kane
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to the One Small Change.
- 0:02I'm thrilled to embark on this journey of exploration and transformation with you.
- 0:06And I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, bring almost 30 years of entrepreneurial experience and a passion for discovering growth through the power of seemingly small change.
- 0:16And so I want to thank you for being open to going on this journey with me.
- 0:21And this week, we are talking to the amazing Judy Kane.
- 0:26Judy.
- 0:27Thank you so much for taking your time to do this.
- 0:31And not only that, I have had a chance to experience what you do.
- 0:35So that makes it even more fun.
- 0:37So why don't you start us off by just telling us what was the thing that made you, that steered you in the direction of doing what you do and tell us what you do.
- 0:48Hey, and I'm happy to be here.
- 0:50So I'm looking forward to the conversation.
- 0:52Back in 2009, I was married.
- 0:57My husband had an ache or a pain somewhere.
- 1:00I don't really remember the details of it.
- 1:03But he had a friend that practiced a whole lot of alternative techniques to help people.
- 1:11And they offered to help him and he accepted.
- 1:14And the change I made was I watched.
- 1:18And I was paying attention to what was happening.
- 1:21And I could see that this process that this person was using was something that was very straightforward.
- 1:30It was also effective.
- 1:32The pain went away and didn't come back.
- 1:35And it went away in less than five minutes.
- 1:38Got my attention, know, definitely because of the effectiveness of it, but also because a lot of modalities require
- 1:48people to interpret information that they're, know, interpret messages or to be actively moving energy or doing things that I don't have a good idea how to do, right?
- 2:03This was a very straightforward process.
- 2:06I came from an IT background.
- 2:08So it has appealed to my IT brain.
- 2:12What?
- 2:13And it was something I could see, I could do.
- 2:17And so I got very excited about it.
- 2:21And as soon as I could, I took the first workshop to learn how to do this myself.
- 2:30I did it with willing friends and family for about three years.
- 2:35And then I started my own business because it was too good to keep to such a small group.
- 2:41I wanted to be able to spread it.
- 2:43So for those of you that don't know Judy, Judy, tell us what you do.
- 2:49I've experienced it, but I want you to tell them.
- 2:52I help people take out their head trash is how I introduce myself in networking meetings.
- 2:57But what that means is I help them rewrite subconscious beliefs that are limiting or blocking them in some way from achieving their conscious goals.
- 3:07So here's the question that I want to ask you, because I find it amazing that you came from an IT background, which is very kind of fact and data driven, right?
- 3:21To something that's in the kind of holistic realm.
- 3:24And I think that that's a piece that entrepreneurs are missing a lot.
- 3:31very good at what we do.
- 3:35We are very good in managing our projects and stuff, but we tend to be somewhat unaware of our body and that body-mind connection.
- 3:47we walk away from things as simple as mindset.
- 3:52And so the idea of...
- 3:56doing something to unblock things in your body just seems like it's too far afield.
- 4:02Can you?
- 4:05As an IT person, can you speak to this to us?
- 4:09Absolutely.
- 4:11First, just quickly, let me talk about that connection because everybody goes, that's such a weird thing.
- 4:16How did you get there from here?
- 4:17And actually, you know, the way I look at it, it's very similar to IT because you've got a system that's not doing what you want, right?
- 4:26And so you find the thing that needs to change so that you get the system to perform the way you want it to.
- 4:32It's the same thing, right?
- 4:35But back to the like the
- 4:38paying attention to your body and the mind-body connection.
- 4:42The example I gave with my second husband is something that I see frequently when I work with clients.
- 4:50That's not the primary reason that people come see me usually, but when I look at the body as a dashboard, right?
- 5:01And if it's doing something to catch your attention, it's because you need to change something.
- 5:07And so I have seen this mind-body connection in awesome ways change when you change some of those subconscious beliefs, they could be the thing causing the symptom of stress,
- 5:23right?
- 5:24We all know stress causes physical symptoms.
- 5:28The stress is caused by your subconscious beliefs.
- 5:31So if you can change beliefs, you can get rid of the stress.
- 5:34If the stress goes away,
- 5:37So can the symptom, but I have seen some things go, not everything changes as quickly, but particularly pains and mobility issues.
- 5:47I have seen times where those have gone away immediately when I'm working with somebody like in a minute.
- 5:55Well, you know, the other thing is, well, first of all, that's gotta be rewarding.
- 6:00I know I had a great session with you.
- 6:03And I think, I'd like to demystify this a little bit.
- 6:09I mean, I think we have, we all are aware that there is a mind-body connection.
- 6:16And for me, a lot of times I'll say, you know, if it feels right, you get the wiggle giggle.
- 6:21You know, it's like, it makes you wanna go, yeah.
- 6:24You know, guys do the hand bump.
- 6:26You know, yeah, you know.
- 6:28And so you're already using this in really common ways, you know, expressing it.
- 6:34But, you know, typically it is, we're looking at the big ones, right?
- 6:41We're not listening to the smaller ones, like, you know, my gut tightens up every time something happens, right?
- 6:49So.
- 6:51What are some things that we can, you know, can you give us some examples of how we're already doing that and then things that we should start paying attention to?
- 7:01Sure, let me start with the things we should start paying attention to.
- 7:06And remind me if I forget to answer the first part.
- 7:12So I think, you know, you're right on target there where we just ignore what our body is telling us.
- 7:21We might feel really tired, but push through because we got to get this stuff done.
- 7:29and not honor the fact that your body is letting you know you need to stop for a minute.
- 7:34They've done lots of studies about how much more effective your decision-making is, how much more efficient your work can be if you're rested and if your mind is clear.
- 7:47So if you're stressed out, if you're tired, if there are things there that are gonna make you less than effective, it's...
- 7:55you know, smart business decision to pay attention to that.
- 7:59If you can tell that your body needs some food, you know, some fuel, you know, and go for the stuff that's better fuel than, you know, junk.
- 8:11You know what else I find for me is because I try to drink a lot of water.
- 8:17If I get really busy and I don't drink water, it's like I willed.
- 8:22And it's kind of like, I'm so tired.
- 8:25And then I think to myself, have I had any liquids to drink today?
- 8:31And so yes, I think we have patterns and we just don't take time to take a look at them.
- 8:42When I was losing weight, I did this thing that was called graph you're eating, which nobody, it's really weird.
- 8:48mean, my daughter is now in her 50s.
- 8:50So I found this out like 50 years ago and it actually came out of the University of Pennsylvania, but I've never heard anybody else talk about it.
- 8:58But the thing that was interesting to me was, cause I'm a visual learner, writing in a journal doesn't help me to identify patterns.
- 9:07But doing a griff like I had it here, I had it there, you know.
- 9:11And it was funny because what I realized was that I had all my, what I call emotional anger eating was after nine o'clock at night.
- 9:19And it was kind of, apparently that's when I had time.
- 9:23It was when, you know, it was like, it was a combination of I had eaten earlier, so I probably had some hunger in there.
- 9:33you know, my kids were young and they were in bed.
- 9:35And so that was the time that I, in my head, could rant and rave about what was going on.
- 9:41And, you know, once I realized that, then I could, you know, I could have a healthy snack at eight o'clock.
- 9:47I wasn't hungry at nine and I didn't do that.
- 9:51So, you know, we all have those patterns and I think knowing we can improve our efficiency and our bottom line.
- 10:01which is where we typically don't tie it in, is like amazing.
- 10:05So I absolutely agree with what you said.
- 10:09So I think people may still think, they still don't actually know what it is that you do.
- 10:17You take out the head trash, but what does that actually encompass?
- 10:22Okay, so when I work with people, there are two ways I can help them.
- 10:29One is that they have emotions that are just hijacking their life, right?
- 10:34The far end of that are phobias.
- 10:37we all have, mean, a lot of people have an instant unpleasant emotional response to certain situations.
- 10:48Like if there are money conflicts, it might be that you feel
- 10:52you know, really stressed out when you think about having to pay bills.
- 10:57Or if you think about having to write a check for some purchase you hadn't expected, you know.
- 11:04So there, or you can, you know, a lot of people I've worked with have a history of trauma.
- 11:10And there's a lot of guilt and shame and stuff that that goes along with them and fear that goes along with them every day.
- 11:18So it's kind of like an ongoing stress
- 11:21that's in the background for them all the time.
- 11:24I can help them neutralize those emotions that are stressful for them.
- 11:31So that's one of the things that, know, anything that's causing distress, we can neutralize and get that to stop hijacking.
- 11:42I got an idea.
- 11:46Instead of a fly on the wall, it's an act trying to listen in.
- 11:51But then after you neutralize those emotions, there are things that people want to get done.
- 11:58And a lot of times their subconscious has a different belief about how good that is for you.
- 12:04So we figure out what the beliefs are there that are blocking you from the goals that you're trying to get.
- 12:11And we install beliefs.
- 12:13that are more supportive of those conscious goals.
- 12:16For instance, if a lot of times people have a money conflict, it's a measure of success and it's certainly something we need at some level to survive, right?
- 12:30So there's a lot of motivation to bring in money, but it might be you grew up in a family and have a subconscious belief that it's not okay to have more than you need.
- 12:40Maybe it's greedy, maybe it's,
- 12:43dangers for you spiritually, maybe it's because you don't want to be like those people who have too much and you don't like how they act.
- 12:49There'll all sorts of reasons in there.
- 12:53But so if your subconscious doesn't think it's okay to have more than you need, it's going to be really hard to make more, make and keep more than you need.
- 13:02Yeah, so we can, you know, if that's one of the things that's in the way,
- 13:10It's a pretty straightforward process to just replace that with a belief that it's okay to have more than I need.
- 13:17So the other thing is, one of the things that I've been saying recently is you don't need to be fixed, you just need to be found.
- 13:25And so that really is about, so many programs and people are like, let's not use what you have, let's start you from scratch, let's use my stuff kind of thing.
- 13:38And I was thinking about this in terms of, you're not actually fixing yourself in the sense of, so,
- 13:47you know what you're actually what I look at it is is part of continuous learning and evolving.
- 13:54You know it's to me it's about clearing the way so that you can be more of who you actually are.
- 14:02So I don't know if that if that fits into the way you think about it or.
- 14:07I mean everybody we get though we get most of our subconscious by the time we're seven and a lot of those beliefs Maybe you aren't even useful then but by the time you become an
- 14:20adult They are not supporting direction you consciously want to get right, but you don't always know that's what's going on So you could find yourself in repeating relationships
- 14:31that are not rewarding
- 14:34or might even be dangerous, right?
- 14:36And it's based on some subconscious beliefs you have that get you into that situation over and over again.
- 14:44So if there are patterns of things not going the way you want, right?
- 14:49Whether that's in business or with relationships or your health or any of those things, they're usually subconscious beliefs that are causing that.
- 15:00Yeah.
- 15:02Oh, go ahead.
- 15:03I was just gonna say, know, we are a closed system I mean there was a you a long part of my life where you know, I felt like I was two people I was like the businesswoman outside
- 15:12my house and you know this other person inside my house But your your business your body your relationships whether they're personal They're all connected and so you tend to
- 15:23repeat the same patterns in your personal life and your business life
- 15:27And so, you know, that's the reason why I think it's, it's, you know, this whole idea of clearing these, you know, this trash out, you know, just gives you more room, like I said,
- 15:39to be more of yourself.
- 15:41And that's personally and professionally.
- 15:45I absolutely, if you want to give you permission to talk about what we did, if you, if you remember.
- 15:53You know, I rarely retain the content of what goes on, but I would be happy for you to, if you say a few things, I'll probably, you know, it'll jog my memory.
- 16:03think for me, I'm in a period of growth.
- 16:07And so when you are growing, there's a certain amount of discomfort and those feelings of doubt.
- 16:15Am I doing the right thing?
- 16:16And I think part of what we worked on was the fact that I'm on the right track, that I am forging ahead and starting to make the impact that I want.
- 16:30And I think that
- 16:32You know, for me,
- 16:38I don't know if I want to say relief or just kind of a grounding that everything's okay and everything is working, you know, because we are the hardest on ourselves.
- 16:51I mean, we would never talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves.
- 16:55I mean, you know, and even though I know that every time I do a workshop, the first thing I think to myself is, I could have done this different.
- 17:02I should have done this different.
- 17:05Do you know?
- 17:06Yeah.
- 17:08I had that sense of ease and kind of just kind of like the world is okay.
- 17:19Beautiful, wonderful.
- 17:22I think, you know, when we talk about identifying beliefs, my childhood belief was that it was not okay to fail.
- 17:34And when you're not willing to fail, you're not willing to do new things.
- 17:38And my family went to the extreme, and I tell the story that I was running for student council in junior high, and my mom said, I don't want you to do it.
- 17:46And I was like, why?
- 17:47And she's like, because you might lose.
- 17:50And I said, mom, are five of us running.
- 17:53There's like an 80 % chance I'm going to lose.
- 17:56Right?
- 17:57But you still hold on to that belief, even though, logically, you know it doesn't make any sense.
- 18:07Kind of deep subconsciously, it's still there.
- 18:12Absolutely.
- 18:13And that's such a good point because so many times people are surprised at the beliefs we discover in the subconscious that they don't consciously agree with at all.
- 18:25I had a woman, this is a long time ago with my business, we were trying to, I was meeting with her in person, we were trying, we used muscle testing and she was trying, we were
- 18:36trying to calibrate it and she says, well, I say this affirmation every morning, I've done it for
- 18:42years, I think it was over 10 years, she had said the same thing every morning and she was confident that that's something that was established well in her subconscious.
- 18:52And her subconscious did not believe it.
- 18:55And it's like, that was the first thing we changed for.
- 18:59Yeah.
- 18:59Because obviously it was important to her.
- 19:03And the other thing going back to my business is that I talk about your unique power and people do not believe that they've got one.
- 19:11And so much of our training as children and stuff is like, don't stand out, don't make waves, don't make noise, don't get a big head.
- 19:20Just absolutely the opposite of what you need to stand out as an entrepreneur to attract the clients that you want.
- 19:29Before we run out of time, tell us about the gift that you're giving.
- 19:34Sure, all right.
- 19:35So I've got a page, it's not a, it's not a, got a lot of things on there, but there's a page that should be in the show notes where I have resources that can be downloaded.
- 19:47So, you know, there are a couple of books that you could sign up for newsletter if you choose to, there's a free workbook if anybody bought my book, but there are links there
- 19:56where you can download stuff that, that explains a little bit more about subconscious beliefs.
- 20:02Okay.
- 20:02And so, you know, the other thing is since this may be kind of far afield of a lot of entrepreneurs, tell us a couple of things that we can do, practical steps that we can do
- 20:13to work on this ourselves, or at least to become aware that we've got this issue.
- 20:19Right.
- 20:20There are two things that I would offer up.
- 20:23One is something I see so often when people come in.
- 20:28They come to me because they want something to be different.
- 20:31And when I ask them what they want to be true in their life, they don't know.
- 20:35They know what they're trying to avoid.
- 20:38But they haven't spent a whole lot of time identifying what it is they really want.
- 20:42So I would encourage anybody out there who's listening to take a little time to figure out what you really want.
- 20:49because that's the first step.
- 20:55Go ahead.
- 20:57When we're talking about what it is you really want, do you find that most people do not define that big enough?
- 21:08Some people have a really hard time dreaming.
- 21:11Other people, they think they can tell me what they want, but it's really just what they don't want, right?
- 21:17They don't want to be poor or they don't want to be a lesbian or they don't, know, but they haven't been able to put into words what it is they do want.
- 21:29And in some cases, if they say it's money, it's not, it's what's the money gonna.
- 21:35What's the emotion the money's going to provide for them is the thing, right?
- 21:38It's what do they think they get from having the money?
- 21:42So spending a little time to figure out what you really want is a good thing to do.
- 21:49And I think that's kind of the first part of having limiting beliefs.
- 21:57Because if you say, I want a yacht, right?
- 22:05The first reaction that you have kind of is, everybody in my family is going to talk about me, they're going to, nobody in my family has ever done this before, that kind of stuff.
- 22:16And, you know, or if that's so materialistic, you know, you're really here to help people.
- 22:23you know, so I think that's kind of the beginning of being able to just clear the path enough to actually say, what do I want?
- 22:34What, you know, and, and, and in some ways I'm, I'm kind of going through that now.
- 22:39And it's part of a kind of a time shift, you know, it's kind of like what
- 22:44what do I want to be remembered for when I'm at my 100th birthday or what kind of legacy am I going to leave?
- 22:51And how does that factor into the kind of business that I'm building?
- 22:57I I remember one time I was like, no, I don't want to do retreats.
- 23:00And then I was talking to somebody, I was like, this actually sounds like something I could do.
- 23:05And then we were talking about certification.
- 23:07I was like, no, I don't have enough.
- 23:09And then I was like, this might actually be.
- 23:14You know, so just think, I mean, it sounds simple.
- 23:17What do you want?
- 23:18But it is like just a huge pile of stuff to go through to.
- 23:23Absolutely is.
- 23:25aren't trained to sit down.
- 23:26Nobody asks us that, you know, and one wants us to spend time thinking about it.
- 23:31You know, it's like that's kind of selfish, right?
- 23:36It's a difference between what should you do and what could you do.
- 23:42Right.
- 23:42Yes.
- 23:43OK.
- 23:43I'm sorry.
- 23:43I got off on a tangent.
- 23:45that was one figure out what's
- 23:48what you really want and then imagine examples of how that's going to look in your life, right?
- 23:55In detail, like detailed, you know, if you were describing a picture, you know, don't say I look happy, say I've got a smile on my face, you know, what are you seeing visually when
- 24:06you're, when you look at this example, what might you be hearing?
- 24:10What might you be saying to yourself?
- 24:12And most importantly, how are you going to be feeling and just immerse yourself
- 24:16in examples of this.
- 24:18And sometimes I have seen that actually change subconscious beliefs.
- 24:24Okay, so that's two, so what's three?
- 24:27It was just too I was going to give you.
- 24:29Okay, sorry.
- 24:31You know, I get lots.
- 24:32Oh, number three, come say something about a hook and a ho.
- 24:35Yes, go.
- 24:36You know, I think that three is what's your plan?
- 24:40What's your plan?
- 24:41And I think that that's a really important step because it's, know, if you don't implement, if you don't do something, you're going to be in the same place.
- 24:53Do you know?
- 24:56Maybe get left behind.
- 24:57If you don't do anything, then you start to stagnate because everybody else is moving forward.
- 25:02Yeah, lost opportunity.
- 25:05There's a huge lost opportunity when people don't go and take care of these things that are holding them back.
- 25:13So here's the thing.
- 25:16You and I could talk for like a really long time, I'm sure, but we don't have the time.
- 25:22So here's your surprise question.
- 25:25When was the last time you did something new for the first time?
- 25:29Well, I moved this past weekend into a community, so that's kind of new.
- 25:35Got a new hip last month.
- 25:37That was new.
- 25:39That's a lot of newness in a short period of time.
- 25:48I hate to do this, but we need to bring this to an end.
- 25:52time for the commercial.
- 25:54And as a first step, I hope everybody will subscribe and share and engage in this podcast on social media.
- 26:01And one of the reasons I did it is it was a way for me to give back to the community and help fuel your quest for growth and impact.
- 26:08And I hope that you're gonna join me on a regular basis for the one small change so that we can all embark on a journey where even the smallest shifts can yield a monumental
- 26:18transformation.
- 26:19And if you haven't listened to the first episode, you should do so so you can see what the goal was when I started out.
- 26:27And I hope again that you will share this with other people because there's lots of interesting information and Judy's information will be in the notes.
- 26:36So Judy, just to take us out, what's your last words of wisdom?
- 26:40What do you want us to remember as we go on this journey?
- 26:44Yeah, don't just assume that things are the way they are and they just have to be that way.
- 26:49I frequently hear people say, that's just the way I am, or that's just the way my life goes, or don't, don't do that.
- 26:58You know, if it's not what you want, go find a way to make it different.
- 27:01You can do that.
- 27:03Fantastic.
- 27:04All right, people, it's time to go.
- 27:06But remember, change is simple, but it's not always easy.
- 27:09And it requires courage and resilience and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone, which is what we were talking about.
- 27:17So join me on the next edition of the One Small Change as we go and take a look at how to get bold visions and innovative possibilities.
- 27:25Until next time, stay curious.