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45 - My Story of the Civil War and the Under-Ground Railroad by Marvin Benjamin Butler · My Story of the Civil War and the Under-Ground Railroad

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  Speaker 1: Chapter forty four of My Story of the Civil War
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  Speaker 1: and the Underground Railroad by Marbyn Benjamin Butler. This libribox
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  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. The Hospital Farewell, chapter
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  Speaker 1: forty four. The chaplain went out, promising to return after dinner,
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  Speaker 1: and soon a boy from the cabin came in with
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  Speaker 1: a note from Lawrence saying, quote, if it will be
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  Speaker 1: convenient and you feel able, mother, and I will call
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  Speaker 1: on you about three pm. Prentiss wrote on the same
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  Speaker 1: card and handed to the boy quote come by all
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  Speaker 1: means and bring your mother unquote. Well, Princess, I said,
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  Speaker 1: such a day as this has never occurred in our
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  Speaker 1: lives before, and probably never will again. It seems a
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  Speaker 1: long time since morning, and now I just realized how
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  Speaker 1: hungry I am. It surely has been an exciting day,
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  Speaker 1: one we'll never forget. And now it is twelve thirty
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  Speaker 1: and I had forgotten dinner. I fear so much excitement
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  Speaker 1: will be too much for you, Marian, Oh no, no,
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  Speaker 1: don't worry. I feel like a colt today with a good,
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  Speaker 1: sharp appetite. As soon as ready, I ate my scalded
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  Speaker 1: milk and toast in half of an egg scalded. Then
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  Speaker 1: turned over on my side and took a refreshing sleep
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  Speaker 1: till nearly three pm, when Aunt Rose and her boy
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  Speaker 1: entered the room. Pryncess introduced himself to Lawrence, and aunt
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  Speaker 1: Rose came immediately to my bed and took my hand
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  Speaker 1: in hers, But her heart was too full of joy
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  Speaker 1: to speak. Dear Aunt, I said, your prayers are answered.
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  Speaker 1: Now God's richest blessings are certainly falling on you. Soon
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  Speaker 1: I saw that she wanted to overwhelm me with thanks,
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  Speaker 1: and I said, no, no, All that we did for
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  Speaker 1: you anyone could have done. But what you did for
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  Speaker 1: me was royal service, all actuated by divine love. I
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  Speaker 1: was a stranger, and you ministered to me, gave me
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  Speaker 1: food and drink, and if I could have been moved,
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  Speaker 1: you would have taken me to your little cabin and
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  Speaker 1: nursed me there. And now it rejoices my heart to
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  Speaker 1: know that, without cost or trouble to us, we have
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  Speaker 1: helped you find your children. Then Lawrence came and gave
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  Speaker 1: me his hand, and he too could hardly speak. God,
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  Speaker 1: bless you, my boy, I said, this has all turned
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  Speaker 1: out better than we expected when we first met at
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  Speaker 1: mumpers Bille. The cloud that was thick and dark around
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  Speaker 1: and over you has opened wide, and now all is sunshine,
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  Speaker 1: thank God, and not me. I am your debtor, Lawrence.
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  Speaker 1: To change his thoughts to other subjects, I asked, have
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  Speaker 1: you heard from Florence more than once? Oh? Yes, I
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  Speaker 1: have received two letters from hers since the one you copied.
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  Speaker 1: I will bring them over and let you read them.
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  Speaker 1: And have you read them to your mother? Yes? Yes,
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  Speaker 1: and they made her happy? Poor mother, how she suffered.
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  Speaker 1: I now realized that mine was nothing compared with hers.
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  Speaker 1: But don't you think she has grown younger? Before that
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  Speaker 1: terrible day, she was handsome once she was as beautiful
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  Speaker 1: as Florence. Yes, she looks almost twenty years younger, and
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  Speaker 1: her face shows that she's happy. What will you do now, Lawrence?
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  Speaker 1: I sent the colonel's horse an ambulance back, and send
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  Speaker 1: him a note that I had found mother, or rather
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  Speaker 1: that you had, and that I would stay with her
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  Speaker 1: till able to work. Then I'll see you often. We
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  Speaker 1: expect to start for home by the fifth or sixth
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  Speaker 1: of May, if possible, so soon as that, will you
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  Speaker 1: be able? Yes? I believe I will. If careful, it
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  Speaker 1: would be impossible to reproduce with my pen the scene
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  Speaker 1: in our room during the hour they remained, it was
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  Speaker 1: an hour of sweet communion, and the reunion of this
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  Speaker 1: mother and son was more of Heaven than earth. As
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  Speaker 1: they arose to go, Aunt Rose came to my bed,
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  Speaker 1: and as she took my hand in hers to bid
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  Speaker 1: me goodbye, she said, I am so glad, Marian, to
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  Speaker 1: see you gaining so fast. When you were the very
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  Speaker 1: worst and the doctor said you could not rally, I
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  Speaker 1: couldn't give you up. I didn't know why then, but
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  Speaker 1: I believe I know now why the Lord put it
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  Speaker 1: in my heart. It takes such a special interest in
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  Speaker 1: you while you make light of what you did for us.
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  Speaker 1: Your kind hospitality so freely bestowed upon my poor girl
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  Speaker 1: when fleeing for her life, was the means of restoring
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  Speaker 1: my children to me. Yes, Aunt Rose, and doing what
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  Speaker 1: was a pleasure to us, we did more than we
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  Speaker 1: then knew. It has made my heart glad that your
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  Speaker 1: boy has been restored to you, and that's one reason
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  Speaker 1: of my rapid gain. Every day following this visit, I
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  Speaker 1: walked across the room back and forth, and when a
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  Speaker 1: little tired, would lie down and rest, and then try
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  Speaker 1: it again, and though but a ghost. I could see
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  Speaker 1: from day to day as I used my limbs that
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  Speaker 1: I was gaining strength and courage. Letters came from home
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  Speaker 1: nearly every day, full of good cheer, but all admonished
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  Speaker 1: me to be careful. My bed sores were healing very fast,
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  Speaker 1: my wrist was nearly well, and the last crop of
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  Speaker 1: berman nearly cleaned out. And what remained, if any, belonged
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  Speaker 1: to the infantry. One day, about half after eleven o'clock,
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  Speaker 1: Aunt Rose came tripping in like a young girl, with
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  Speaker 1: a nice piece of squirrel Lawrence had shot, and dressed
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  Speaker 1: with a small cup of broth. Oh you are a
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  Speaker 1: good mother, I said, always doing for someone.
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  Speaker 2: I was just thinking that if I could have a
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  Speaker 2: little change of diet, such a dinner as this will
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  Speaker 2: make me how good it would taste. It is a
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  Speaker 2: royal gift, and I thank you. I do so wish
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  Speaker 2: that you and John would go home with us. I
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  Speaker 2: shall miss you so much, Aunt Rose, Oh Mary, and.
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  Speaker 1: My dear boy. You don't know what you say. I
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  Speaker 1: should like to go and help you get home, but
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  Speaker 1: I could not stay. I have saved by hard work
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  Speaker 1: a little sum and my boy and I when the
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  Speaker 1: war is over. Oh, buy a little home of our own,
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  Speaker 1: where I'll stay till I go to my heavenly home.
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  Speaker 1: The April days had slipped by when the Princess came
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  Speaker 1: in and informed me that my resignation had been accepted,
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  Speaker 1: and on the fifth we should leave Murphysborough for Nashville
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  Speaker 1: at ten a m. Oh. How my heart thrilled at
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  Speaker 1: the prospect of starting for home after a confinement for
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  Speaker 1: four months in that hospital, much of the time entirely
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  Speaker 1: helpless and suffering more than my pen can describe. Lawrence
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  Speaker 1: soon heard of our intention and came in to see me.
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  Speaker 1: He handed me Florence's letters to read, in which she
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  Speaker 1: gave a brief history of her life in Canada, a
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  Speaker 1: description of her home and the people who were very
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  Speaker 1: kind and intelligent. She taught music, painting, and drawing from
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  Speaker 1: the time she reached there until married, and in her
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  Speaker 1: last letter she said, my husband has a chance to
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  Speaker 1: sell his property here at a big margin. And if
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  Speaker 1: you succeed in finding mother and the rebellion is crushed
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  Speaker 1: out and slavery abolished, it is possible, on account of
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  Speaker 1: the milder climate, that we may go back to southern
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  Speaker 1: Ohio or Indiana. Well, John, what are you going to do?
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  Speaker 1: I have not determined yet. When in college I chose
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  Speaker 1: the law and studied with that in view. You know, Marian,
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  Speaker 1: I have friends in Cincinnati that are anxious for me
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  Speaker 1: to come back and finish my course and locate there.
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  Speaker 1: And Ruth is waiting for you. I said, oh, yes,
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  Speaker 1: bliss her kind heart. During my five years of serfdom,
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  Speaker 1: her suffering will never be known, but now she is
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  Speaker 1: contented and happy. In my second letter, written from Louisville,
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  Speaker 1: I felt my degradation and poverty so keenly that I
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  Speaker 1: wrote she had better forget me. Well, I got a
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  Speaker 1: letter back that would have melted a heart of stone.
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  Speaker 1: She has a snug little fortune in her own right.
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  Speaker 1: And in her last letter she wrote that if I
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  Speaker 1: succeeded in finding mother, I should bring her there and locate.
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  Speaker 1: And she said further, she shall be my mother too. Well, John,
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  Speaker 1: I congratulate you. She is a jewel. I know that
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  Speaker 1: from Florence's description of her. Stand by her. She loved
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  Speaker 1: you and your poverty and degradation, and she'll never love
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  Speaker 1: you less. In prosperity. You and your family, John, have
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  Speaker 1: dropped into my life so mysteriously that I don't want
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  Speaker 1: to lose you. And if I live to get home
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  Speaker 1: and you get settled, you must write to me and
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  Speaker 1: give me your address. You have mine. Now you know
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  Speaker 1: of my affection for my mother, Florence and Ruth, and
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  Speaker 1: you stand next. I shall always think of you as
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  Speaker 1: my elder brother. Please don't say if you live to
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  Speaker 1: get home, it makes me feel sad you will get home.
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  Speaker 1: You have already gone through enough suffering to kill a
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  Speaker 1: whole regiment. Charles Party, the steward, told me when everyone
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  Speaker 1: was looking for you to die, that you had a
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  Speaker 1: charmed life and felt satisfied all the time. You'd make
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  Speaker 1: it on the last heat. But I tell you it
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  Speaker 1: was a close shave, and a hard one for you.
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  Speaker 1: By the way, Marian, I met a Union soldier from
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  Speaker 1: near Hampton Center a few days ago. He knew my
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  Speaker 1: three cousins who realized so handsomely from my father's estate,
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  Speaker 1: including the wife and children. One has died a horrible
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  Speaker 1: death with delirium trimmings, and the other two are gamblers
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  Speaker 1: and drunkards, and the estate is nearly all squandered. Verily,
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  Speaker 1: they are reaping their reward. I said, and the wrath
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  Speaker 1: of the Almighty will follow them. Prinice came in then,
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  Speaker 1: and John turned to him and asked, have you read
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  Speaker 1: my sister's letters yet? Oh? Yes, that letter ought to
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  Speaker 1: be published up north, people would not believe it, said John.
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  Speaker 1: It is so out of the ordinary. You boys must
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  Speaker 1: not get the impression that all slaveholders are as brutal
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  Speaker 1: as those that bid off Florence and me, or as
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  Speaker 1: destitute of human sympathy and heart as our cousins who
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  Speaker 1: brought such ruin upon us. I am glad to say
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  Speaker 1: that many of them are very indulgent. General Spence was
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  Speaker 1: very kind to mother. They treated her more as a
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  Speaker 1: servant than a slave. But these system is all wrong,
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  Speaker 1: a sin against God and a curse to slave and master.
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  Speaker 1: Where descend, said Prentice. Many of the masters are much
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  Speaker 1: better than the law up north. If a man should
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  Speaker 1: whip a horse to death, he would be punished. But
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  Speaker 1: here a master can whip a slave to death and
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  Speaker 1: be justified. After John went out, I took my walk
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  Speaker 1: around the room more than usual, and felt much encouraged.
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  Speaker 1: A comrade had whittled me out ane cane from a
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  Speaker 1: piece of cedar brought from the battlefield, which was a
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  Speaker 1: great help to keep me from falling. May fourth was
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  Speaker 1: my last day in the hospital. Many of the boys
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  Speaker 1: came in to see me and bid me goodbye. From
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  Speaker 1: the first all the boys, without exception, had treated me
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  Speaker 1: so kindly that the part from them was a severe trial,
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  Speaker 1: and when I took their hand to say goodbye, I
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  Speaker 1: could hardly control my voice or keep back the tears
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  Speaker 1: from my eyes. About two pm, Aunt Rose ran in
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  Speaker 1: and took a chair near my bed. Well, Aunt Rose,
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  Speaker 1: I have just been thinking of you, and have been
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  Speaker 1: wondering if you noticed how closely I watched you the
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  Speaker 1: other morning when you brought me my toast, squirrel egg
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  Speaker 1: and tea. You had taken special pains in dressing your
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  Speaker 1: hair that morning, and it was arranged precisely as Florence
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  Speaker 1: had hers. The afternoon I wrote up her history. Then
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  Speaker 1: I watched the expression of your face and eyes, and
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  Speaker 1: especially your voice, and I almost trembled, thinking of her
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  Speaker 1: and John that possibly, yes, only possibly, I had made
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  Speaker 1: a discovery. And when you spoke of your boy, a
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  Speaker 1: little younger perhaps than I sold from you five years ago,
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  Speaker 1: my hope grew strong. And then I pressed you hard
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  Speaker 1: for your story, which so many times you had very
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  Speaker 1: delicately refused to tell me. Marian, I wanted to tell
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  Speaker 1: you many times, but it seemed like thrusting an iron
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  Speaker 1: through my heart. And that morning I felt more determined
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  Speaker 1: than ever to give you my history. How mysterious it
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  Speaker 1: all is. Had you denied Florence shelter and such very
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  Speaker 1: generous hospitality, in all probability, I should never have found
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  Speaker 1: my children, or had you taken no interest in me
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  Speaker 1: at Rose, the same might have been the result. I
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  Speaker 1: could not help that when you were delirious, you're for
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  Speaker 1: your mother and one other person. May I think were
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  Speaker 1: so pathetic that you won my heart and all the
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  Speaker 1: service I could render, and in thus sacrificing one for
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  Speaker 1: the other, God has richly blessed us all.
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  Speaker 2: But Marian, I must not tire you with this call.
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  Speaker 1: You have had too much company today, so I will
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  Speaker 1: bid you goodbye now and call again in the morning.
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  Speaker 1: When I laid myself down for the night, my last
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  Speaker 1: night in the hospital, my hard bed was a luxury. Indeed,
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  Speaker 1: as I was tired, I realized that I was surrounded
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  Speaker 1: by an atmosphere of supreme kindness and sympathy, and was well,
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  Speaker 1: content to lie still and watch through the large uncurtained window.
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  Speaker 1: The dark foliage waved to and fro, the leaves grow
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  Speaker 1: distinct in the light of the rising moon. Until I
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  Speaker 1: fell asleep quite early in the morning. After a long
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  Speaker 1: refreshing sleep, I seemed to hear such lovely strains of
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  Speaker 1: music that swelled into richer harmony, until what seemed to
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  Speaker 1: be a beautiful orchestra awoke me. I soon discovered that
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  Speaker 1: an unusual gathering of my old friends the birds, were
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  Speaker 1: giving me a farewell serenade. The leader of the orchestra
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  Speaker 1: sat near my window on an old bough, with her
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  Speaker 1: tuneful throat swelled to the utmost. She I recognized as
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  Speaker 1: the very songster that had furnished me such exquisite music
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  Speaker 1: for the last few weeks, and on this last morning
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  Speaker 1: at the hospital, she had gathered all her friends together
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  Speaker 1: to bid me farewell. After my breakfast. The first to
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  Speaker 1: enter was doctor m Well, by Jack's boys, you are going,
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  Speaker 1: I see. Never thought you'd get out of here till
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  Speaker 1: you went in a box. But you'll make it now
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  Speaker 1: unless they kill you on the train. Here are some
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  Speaker 1: brandy printers in case of fright exhaustion. Or accident. Use it.
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  Speaker 1: Don't let them chill. You are changing climates. Remember, I
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  Speaker 1: gave the doctor my hand and said, you have been
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  Speaker 1: very kind to me, doctor, and I thank you. When
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  Speaker 1: you get home, i'll call on you and we'll take
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  Speaker 1: a fish on the old feederdam. Then, for a few
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  Speaker 1: minutes the room was full of our boys who came
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  Speaker 1: in to bid me goodbye. The last that entered was
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  Speaker 1: the chaplain, aunt Rose and John. I took their hands
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  Speaker 1: in mine, but could not speak to Aunt Rose. I
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  Speaker 1: could only say, God bless you. End of Chapter forty four.