Latest / YINWorldWide / The Power of Facing Your Past
Transcript
- Liv Yin: This is yin. And these are conversations about discipline, direction, and identity, how they quietly shape who you become. It is human nature to be focused on the future. That's what we're all building towards. But most people make a mistake when they do it. They try to erase where they came from, the version of themselves that failed, the relationships they handled poorly. The years they wasted, the people they hurt. They think moving forward means leaving all of that in the past. But it doesn't. You see, the past isn't baggage, it's proof. The only evidence you have that the work is real, because anyone can say they've changed. Anyone can claim they're different. But the only way to know that's true is to look at where you started and And measure the distance. If you can't face who you were, you'll never know who you became. But here's the part most people miss. You can't keep the past visible if you're carrying shame about it. Shame makes you bury it, hide it, rewrite it. So the work isn't just keeping it visible, it's forgiving it. So you can actually use it. The past Is proof. Forgiveness is what allows you to use it. Identity is built on truth. Not the version of yourself you wish existed, the version that actually did, the one that made mistakes, the one that hurt people, the one that wasted time being unfocused. That version isn't separate from the one you are now. It's the foundation. Most people try to rewrite that. Make it sound like they were always serious, always disciplined, always had direction. That's a cover story. Real identity includes all of it. Because if your identity only works when things go right, it's fragile. The moment you slip, the moment you fail, it cracks. Because you never integrated the part of you that fails. You just tried to build over it. And what you build over eventually comes through. The work is integration, being able to say that was me and this is me now. Not with shame, but with clarity, because the distance between those two versions is what makes your identity real. Shame makes you hide it, not just from other people, but But from yourself. So instead of facing it honestly, you soften it, you minimize it. You move past it quickly. And in doing that, you lose access to it. Because you can't learn from something you refuse to look at directly. And if you can't look at it, you can't measure from it. You don't lack growth. You lack the courage. To look at your past and measure it. The problem has never been your past. It's your relationship with your past. Because if looking at it brings up shame, you won't look at it long enough to learn from it. That's why forgiveness isn't optional. Forgiveness is required. And the hardest part about forgiveness isn't forgiving other people. It's forgiving ourselves for what we did, for the relationships we handled poorly, for the people we hurt, and for the years that we wasted. That's what sits the heaviest, because we can't undo those things. We can't go back and fix them. So instead we avoid them, and when we avoid it, we lose the ability to use it. Forgiveness is Isn't saying it was okay. It's saying I did that. It cost what it cost. I was who I was. However, I'm not that person anymore. And choosing to stop carrying it forward, that's not a feeling. That's a decision. What you refuse to face, you will repeat. Forgiveness is what lets you turn around and face it honestly. And use it as your starting line. And once you can face it, direction becomes real. Because direction isn't just where you're going, it's the line between where you were and where you're going. If you don't know where you started, you don't have a direction. You just have movement. And those are not the same thing. Movement is effort. Direction is measured. The past gives you that measurement, and it shows you what cost you time, what held you back, what your patterns look like, and if you can see that, you can correct it, but only if you're willing to look at it long enough to learn from it. Otherwise, the past will repeat itself. Speaking from someone who Who's had to do the work? I can speak towards the difference, not vaguely, but specifically. I used to hate conflict. I've had multiple hard conversations this month. I used to not finish things. I've completed multiple things this week. I used to blame other people. Now I look at my role first. I'm the proof. Someone who hasn't done the work has. Just says that they're different, but they can't tell you how, because they can't look at before long enough to measure it. Someone who's done the work recognizes old patterns immediately. The urge to quit, the tendency to take shortcuts, the instinct to blame. They see it early and stop it because they've studied that version of themselves. Someone who hasn't gets caught in it again because they're too busy pretending they've outgrown it. There's two parts to this. First, forgiveness. What are you still holding from your past that you haven't forgiven yourself for? Not what happened to you, what you did. Name it clearly. I handled that relationship badly. I hurt those people. I wasted those years. Name it. What was the cost? Be honest about it. Not to punish yourself, but to acknowledge the reality. Then say, I did that. It cost what it cost. I was who I was. However, I'm not that person anymore. I'm not carrying this forward. And mean it. Then prove it with how you move. The second part is measurement. Write down three things about who you were. Be specific, then write down what is different now. Not what you hope, what you can actually prove with real examples. If you can't point to real change, don't adjust the story. Adjust your behavior. The gap is your proof. This week, forgive one thing. The one you've been carrying the longest, name it, acknowledge it, release it, and then use it. Write down what that version of you did and what you do now instead. Be specific. The past isn't something to erase. It's your starting line. But if you're too ashamed to look at it, you don't have a starting line. You have a story. And stories don't prove anything. Only proof does. Forgiveness is what lets you face it. Measurement is what lets you use it, and the distance between those two versions of you is the only thing that tells the truth. This is Yin. If this resonated, share with someone who needs to hear it. Not everyone, just someone who's ready. You can find Yin Worldwide Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And if you want to go deeper, visit our website at live yin.com. That's www.livin dot com. Subscribe if you're committed to the work. If not, that's fine too. This isn't for everyone. Remember, move with intention.