Latest / Dits & Dahs / what did you say?
Transcript
- Sue: One of the experiences I had with being married to a person who native language was not English, as mine is, was the occasional times when my husband would talk in his sleep. And because Welsh was his native language, that was the language, apparently, that he spoke in his sleep. And for anybody who has listened to Welsh or tried to read it, there aren't many words that you will... pick out of that monologue that he was saying, unless they were modern words. You know, the Welsh word for astronaut, for example, is astronaut. Modern inventions and things adapted in Welsh is just using the English, but that's a digression. So one of the first times that he was speaking in his sleep, I would only judge the vibe of his voice. Did he sound like he was, you know, distressed? Was he enjoying himself, et cetera, to determine whether I would awaken him. As having been a Royal Welsh Fusilier that served in Northern Ireland during the Troubles. He was often haunted by those moments. When he dreamt and he sounded like he was just having a conversation or relaxed in his tone of voice, I would roll over and go back to sleep. And one morning I had the presence of mind to let him know that he was talking in his sleep and wondered if he remembered what his dream might have been. Not that it would have helped me translate anything that he spoke, but never mind that. So he suggested I... keep a pad and pencil next to my nightstand and write down the words as I heard them speak them. Yeah. Okay. Let's understand something. While I can intuit the spelling of Welsh words, given that I'm trying to pick the letters and string them together as real words in Welsh while A, while I've been awoken from asleep and B, I'm not sure I'd have any luck other than recognizing a few words. So that seemed like an impossible task for me. And at the time I didn't have little digital recorder that I'm using to make this recording now. So it wouldn't just have been a matter of me turning something on and recording it and then playing it back for him in the morning to ask what it meant. You know, and it got to a place where eventually he would say something like, well, well, it's just phonetic, just sounded out. Yeah. Okay. So we don't have a double L in English. There are a lot of whys that are getting used in Welsh that we don't also use in English. And the overarching thing is that for me, I had to make a decision, determination at the very least, based on the emotion that was projecting his words. And here's the thing, it's just no different than singing in a foreign language or chanting in a foreign language. And depending on the context of something like that, and then the reason why you're chanting or singing, it might be helpful to really have an independent translation of those words because, as I have mentioned before, you can find yourself chanting things that contextually might not be what people say they mean and that you're contributing your energy to something that might not be something you want to amplify. And to understand that while feeling the vibe is certainly important to adding to the context of the words, it doesn't necessarily define what it is those words contextually mean. You know, on a more sinister note, you can get a bunch of people who are gathered together to improve their finance, some sort of prayer group of wanting to get more prosperous financially. Open up the old grimoire, pick that ritual. Have the group chant it, and maybe the leader of the group who does understand what's being chanted interjects with their own little manifestation that might be sinister of some sort. Maybe the sinister thing is that they're wishing that all the wealth that they are collectively chanting to receive goes to that person. Confirmation by the hawk. Knowing isn't fully knowing unless you not only understand the context of the words and the energy upon which they are being manifested. That's my opinion, that's my experience, and what I'm suggesting is to be a little more wary of speaking words that you don't natively understand, even if you think it's completely innocuous and that's going to be to your benefit. Unbeknownst to you, you may be contributing. That's going to hurt somebody. Yeah, just because the group is doing it doesn't mean that it's good to do. My life with my husband, he usually said, I speak English for your convenience, which is true because the amount of Welsh that I understand and can speak and read is... quite minimal, and that meant that ultimately I had to have trust in him, which I've spoken about in previous blog posts. When I met my husband, I really didn't know anything about his past at all. I had no way to verify it because I had no contact with anybody in Wales that knew him. I met a couple of his friends and was aligned with them, but I really had no reason to doubt what my husband said because I knew my sense of knowing trusted what he said. In fact, several of the things that I had no way to prove revealed themselves as to be truth after he died. A little confirmation to what I believed in initially that I was on spot on. But that living my life in trust was the way to go, as scary as that might be. It's no different than if you watch your YouTube videos and you put the captions on, as I do, and listen and watch the translation or the captions created on the fly, because most people wouldn't take the time with their videos to... upload captions or as I do just go ahead and subtitle it in the originating video just to make certain that the words that I speak and what you hear match. But you know you look at these captions as you're listening to the words being spoken and you can see immediately that it's colored by the fact that if you have a particular accent or dialect when you speak The captions not going to correctly identify the word that was spoken. And you have to intuit, you have to go within to your intuition and decide for yourself what's true. And you don't base it on the fact that you just got a whole bunch of other people chanting or reciting the same words that it's okay. Particularly if no one is absolutely able to verify independently the context of those words in that language. It is as ever about having faith in yourself. Trust in your intuition. Be satisfied with, sometimes, with that beep that you only have you to verify that truth is, in fact, the truth, and to stand tall even though when you are the only one in the group that knows the truth. Don't be deterred. Don't be swayed by others, even if it's somebody that you think that you trust with your life. No matter what, trust yourself. You might not find out the truth many years after. So you're going to be standing alone for quite some time. So let your integrity keep you standing straight. Might be the only one. That's okay. You're actually not because you know what? I'm with you. You're not alone. Standing in truth can be a very, very lonely life. So if you're feeling that you are the only one that sees the truth, don't doubt it. No, I'm seeing it too. I just might take longer to see it than you, but I am seeing it. I'm proud of you for standing alone in your truth. That's just temporary. You're not alone, and that's proof because you're listening. So thank you for that. I appreciate you sharing your energy with me today. I'm making this post to memorialize the beginning of the gardening season in my life. I'm committing myself to spending a minimum of an hour each day to getting a hold of everything that should be growing, whether it be for physical enjoyment of its looks, aesthetics, or a garden for which I need to feed myself this season. And with that, memorializing in this blog post, I know that I will stick to it. Now... Do I have to make this online statement of doing this to complete it? No. But I think it's about accountability and that there are a few of you that listen to my posts and might be following along enough on a weekly basis to ascertain what the mundane highlights of my week are. And in the interest of needing emotional support, no, I don't need that. But we all have places in our life where we commit to doing something and then situations beyond our control might intercede us from succeeding at completing that mission. That said, the only thing that's going to stop me from completing the mission is the weather. So all things being equal, I have to commit to this personally. And it's one of those things about being in balance that's important to me, because I recognize that anytime you have the opportunity to eat food that you grow yourself or was grown by a local farm that you purchase is really beneficial to your physical person. synchronicities, everything is meaning. We all have to raise our awareness amongst ourselves.