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Healing Your Childhood Wounds and Creating an Online Business with Hannah Huante · Reclaiming Consciousness

0:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's why I always talk about like entrepreneurship and mental health is just like one in the same because then I hit the point in my journey where like I've done the work, I've done the healing, I'm in the honeymoon hive.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: I think that I'm like all good.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: And then something blows up, as it does in business.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh my God, I'm unworthy.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm not good enough.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: I have no value.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: Why is that popping up?
0:21
SPEAKER_01: And so like constantly facing just like different spheres and parts of the journey.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: But I do believe like the core of it was the moment I decided to align everything, just catapulted with it.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: My name is Elise Bessine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner, and owner and CEO of Elise Breeds.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are, and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising consciousness and creating a new way of living on this earth.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Reclaiming Consciousness.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: I have a great episode for you today.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: So I have Hannah Juante on the show.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: And if you guys don't follow her, you should definitely go follow her.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Her Instagram is how Han Sees It.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: And she is just like such an amazing personality and just shares so vulnerably her story of how she healed and started her business on Instagram as an influencer and just sharing the way that she sees things.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: And you guys are just going to love this conversation because we go really deep into her healing journey, the trauma that she went through.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And we just have such a great conversation.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: You're going to love her energy because her and I just like instantly connected.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm also on her podcast, which is going to be coming out pretty soon.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: But her and I just like had a very instant connection.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: Her energy is just so magnetic.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: And she's just such, it's great to listen to her.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: So I know you're going to love this episode.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: And then also just a couple of things we have going on now.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: So I have two more spaces available in the high frequency channel.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Mastermind, we're going to be starting next week.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: And this is a very high-touch, close proximity space with me.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's perfect for you if you want to get the same experience that you would in a private container, but in a group, essentially.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: But you're still getting three one-on-one calls with me, plus the group calls, plus Telegram.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a very intimate experience.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is for you if you feel like you know you're ready to take the next step, whether it's in your business, so you're ready to really be seen in a bigger way, go to the next income level, create recurring revenue that you can rely on, or you're at the place where you have been trying to start your business or you want to start your business, but it feels difficult for you to get out of the starting gate, you will blow through the starting gate here.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Because the reason why that happens is because of trauma.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: And I will help you clear it, dissolve it very quickly because that's what I do.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: That's what I love to do, and that's what people do in my presence.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: That's what we're gonna be doing in the mastermind is clearing any trauma that is blocking your full ability to channel through exactly what you are meant to share, offer, create, and really take your business and your life essentially to the next level by being able to fully and freely express yourself creatively and make money just for being you.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so excited for the women who've already said yes.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: And the group feels so magical.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: But like I said, it's gonna be a small group.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: So I want to keep it intimate, I want to keep it very tight and some a place where everybody's gonna be super engaged and have a ton of momentum.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested, just reach out to me and we can chat about if this is a fit for you.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, there are different types of payment plans available to accommodate you.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I'm more interested in if this is a fit for you.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: And if it is, then we will figure out payments that work for you.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: So that's that.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: And then I also have past lives and money coming up in June.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: And if you have not done this course yet, please jump in.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Like these are things that every woman needs to know, every spiritual woman needs to understand how to recognize and shift these four past life archetypal energies that hold you back.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: And they are the witch wounds, so the fear of being killed for sharing your spiritual or psychic gifts, the unconscious lack and scarcity imprints that have been imprinted on all of us through lifetimes that keep you creating just enough and never in overflow.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: That is a very real thing, and you'll learn how to dissolve that inside the container.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: And then the other one is the fear of what people are gonna think.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: So when you show up and you're constantly micromanaging in your mind how everyone is going to receive you or what people are gonna think about every little thing you say, that is actually rooted in past life wounding as well.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: And when you shift that, it becomes so much easier to show up in your authentic expression.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: And then what happens is people are so much more easily attracted to you and your work.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: And then the fourth one is the good old fear of something terrible happening.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: That's something that we all hold as an energetic imprint for many lifetimes of, you know, collective traumatic situations and that can show up in your business, or it can show up even before you realize you want to start a business and stop you right in your tracks.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: And this is another thing that I show you how to dissolve inside the container.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: So it's five weeks.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: It includes breath work and a telegram chat where there'll be a QA at the end.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: And I really show you how to dissolve these using my unique methodology, the metamorphosis method to pinpoint trauma and shift it through breathwork.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: And I really go deep into showing you how to recognize and shift this programming when it surfaces for you.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: Because my work is practical and it's tangible and it leaves you with the tools to navigate things on your own moving forward.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: And I teach you how to have a deep level of awareness around these things so you can recognize it and shift them on your own when they come up moving forward, because these are things that will come up for every woman, whether you're starting a business or just wanting to grow in general.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: I have not worked with any woman yet who has not come up against these four energies and they are rooted in past life trauma and past life wounding and imprints.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna show you how to shift them inside past lives and money.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: So if you are wanting to learn how to make things a hell of a lot easier for yourself and grow a lot faster, this is for you.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: And it's only$555.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And there's gonna be multiple payment plans.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: Right now, I have a two-payment payment plan, and I'm gonna create one that's three as well.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: And we will link that below so you can sign up for that.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: We start June 24th, but I'm going to limit spaces.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: So make sure you sign up as soon as you know that it's for you.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Please reach out to me with any questions.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: So, without further ado, I'm sending you lots of love and enjoy the episode with Hannah.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Hi, everyone, welcome back to the show.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: So I am super excited for today's conversation.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: I have with me today Hannah Wante, who is a content creator and podcaster.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And I know we're gonna have such an amazing conversation.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: So, welcome to the show, Hannah.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: After our episode of where you came on my podcast, I was like so excited because I was like, oh, we just like totally vibe and go back and forth and we come from different worlds and like meet in the middle with this like same passion for healing.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm really, really excited.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just so excited to hear like more of your story and kind of like what happened for you.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: First of all, just a little bit about what you do and how you got into that.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: And then like what was the catalyst for like the healing journey?
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's so interesting because I feel like for me, it kind of like simultaneously was happening at the same time, which is so weird because I feel like not a lot of people would expect that.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, there's a lot of like misconceptions about influencers, bloggers that they're like, it's all about like just taking pictures and like all about them and whatever.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: But for me, like my kind of story starts with I've always like loved fashion.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I'm very passionate about it, and I loved putting outfits together.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: It just I always struggled with confidence about like the way I looked and the way I presented myself, but I never struggled with understanding like who I was at my core and that I like loved fashion and wanted to like share it.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: And I think that at the time I started, which was like six and a half years ago, people weren't really being like authentic online.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: There weren't that many people that weren't just like the stereotypical like model sharing on Instagram, and then simultaneously, like I had been battling like mental health stuff my entire life, depression, anxiety.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: It was very hard for me.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I was in a very dark place for a lot of the end of middle school and high school and in college.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: So, like all this is kind of happening at the same time.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like scrolling on Instagram and I'm just like, there's no realness here.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, no one is talking about being depressed, like no one is talking about all of these important things that were very much real in my life.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: And so I kind of was like, you know what?
10:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna start posting my outfits and talking about just the things I go through each day, like very candidly and authentically.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: And so it just kind of like started from there.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: And I started posting and sharing and started growing a community at the end of college.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And I simultaneously was like trying to work through my depression and anxiety and like try to get to the root cause.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: And I was so lost.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: And I think in the beginning, I didn't realize like what was happening, but I had like subconsciously picked how hand sees it as the name.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: And like looking back, it's so funny because it's like I spent my entire childhood not feeling seen or heard.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm picking like how hand sees it, like unapologetic fashion and lifestyle, and like working through these issues where like I was violating my conscience so much and violating like who I was at my core that I was depressed and anxious.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: But then I was like promoting unapologetic fashion lifestyle.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: Like I had picked these really core healing missions and like didn't even realize at the time what was happening.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: And so I threw myself into therapy after I graduated.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: I had hit like rock bottom.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: I had struggled with, you know, suicidal thoughts.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: I was depressed, I was anxious.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: Like I couldn't function.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: And I think I knew at my core I was like meant for more than just being depressed and like not moving and not feeling like I could move, even though I had so many dreams.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: I was like super driven.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: So I like was like, it can't get much worse than this.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: So I'm just gonna go to therapy and see if it helps.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: And it did.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: It was game-changing for me to actually face myself.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: And I think I was just so open to like wanting to feel better, that that openness allowed me to be able to like face myself in the mirror and like address like my part now in what was happening.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: And like it removed this veil that I this lie I had told to myself that none of the feelings and none of the core things that were like stopping me from doing things were like my fault.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: Like, I had told myself over and over that this is out of my control, this these things happened to me.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Like I grew up in this very chaotic home and now I'm depressed.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: And I think I had sold myself this idea that it had to be like that forever.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: And after I faced that, I just like catapulted forward.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's like a long-winded story.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: That's kind of how it started.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: And then the podcast just came as like a result of like immense healing.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to add more depth.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: I like was talking so much on my stories about healing and like mental health, like when I was having bad days, when I was having good days.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: And like I just realized I want like my entire audience to hear more of this, and I want to like bring some of that into the community more because you can't share like a fashion post and then be like, I don't know, you can, but it's just not my style.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
13:19
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just like really hard to like say what you want to say in a carousel post.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: And so I decided that I wanted to like start a podcast.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: I found like so much healing and inspiration and motivation when it came to starting my business and like launching the podcast and like moving through my healing journey from like listening to just other people tell their stories of like where they started, where they are now.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: I feel like we think we're alone a lot in what we're going through.
13:47
SPEAKER_01: And the reality is that we're all facing the same things, just they all started and were planted in us in a different way.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, you know, I find like so much inspiration in listening to people's stories.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: I want to like orchestrate these conversations.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: So I started practicing on Clubhouse.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you remember that app.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: When it first came out, I was like in it immediately.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: But then it like fizzled out.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it fizzled out, but it was such a good practice round for me because I was, okay, I'm gonna facilitate conversations with some of my creator friends who I know have a like deep story or like are feel that like mental health is important or entrepreneurship is important.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: I love talking about entrepreneurship because I feel the mental health stuff goes like right hand in hand with that.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: And so I started practicing and like people loved it and I realized how much I loved it.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: And so I like decided to launch the podcast, and that's kind of how it all came together.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: It's just so funny.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Just about Clubhouse, really quick.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: It's so funny because I met like a couple like really important people in my life now on Clubhouse, and it's weird because it was like a weird little catalyst, I feel like, for a lot of people, even though it only lasted for a few months.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: But I think it was also during this very perfect time where everybody was home and it was just it worked for that six months or whatever, however long it was.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: No, totally.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: It was so random.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it was such a weird thing that you like couldn't record the conversations.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: Like, I wish I could go back and listen because it was such a like pivotal birth point for this whole nother chapter in my life, not only like for the business, but for my healing.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's so healing listening to people's stories and like orchestrating these conversations.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: So it would be so cool to go back and listen.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: I feel like they had the right idea, but it just the execution was weird.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: But I used it to my advantage.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, same.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: So okay, there's a few places I want to go with this.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: And I can't help myself.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: I have to dig deep in like the childhood trauma perspective.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: So for you, as you went down your healing journey, what were some of the things that you realized deeply impacted you or stuff that like now you're aware of that you can navigate?
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Whereas like before you might not have realized like what these things were.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: So many things.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: So many things.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: So I grew up in a really chaotic home.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's hard because like I have a relationship with my parents still.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: I love them very much, but they're just very unhealed.
16:12
SPEAKER_01: They didn't do the work and love them to death, but that's just the truth.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: And so a lot of chaos in that way.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: Like their marriage was very chaotic.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: So, like, from one side, I was seeing a lot of why my romantic relationships weren't playing out.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm such a fixer at my core, and that's something I've had to really work through.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: Like, you don't need to fix everyone just because you couldn't fix your parents and you're used to putting up with chaos and like fighting, confrontation, like all of that I had to rewire because it was all I knew.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: I grew up in a house where everyone was screaming at each other.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: That was how they communicated.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: And so I was always angry and upset, and I couldn't handle any type of confrontation without my nervous system just deregulating completely.
16:55
SPEAKER_01: So, like on the romantic relationship side, definitely realized that I was like choosing bad partners.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: I was staying in things that I didn't need to stay in.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, self-worth, all of that over there, crazy.
17:08
SPEAKER_01: On my everyday, just my mom, oh, she's blessed her heart.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: She instilled a lot of bad confrontation habits in me and my siblings, a lot of self-worth issues.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: And so for me, I noticed that a lot of the way I was like handling my relationships or the way I was coming at life, just like each day was just so deregulated.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: I was always defensive.
17:34
SPEAKER_01: I took everything everyone said as an insult.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: I would jump at people's throats to fight.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: There were so many problems in that way where I had to like actually look in the mirror, sit myself down, and rewire like a lot of the way I, for lack of a better word, did life.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: I and I still do it.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: It's like an ongoing thing.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Like I will hear something and I have to like breathe and think about what's being said to me and be like, this isn't real.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: This reaction that you're having is not real and you need to act accordingly.
18:03
SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of that.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: And I think just not even addressing the fact that I grew up in this chaotic home and I had experienced a lot of these like traumatic events and not understanding that each time I like didn't set up a boundary, or like each time that I like was fighting and angry and like giving into all of these human things that are ingrained in us at a young age, depending on your situation.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: I was violating my conscience just like over and over and over again.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: And I do believe it caused like immense depression and anxiety because I honestly have, of course, my bad days, but I don't even claim those things anymore because of like the healing I've experienced and like the work I've done in that way to regulate the nervous system has relinquished a lot of those titles that I was assigning myself.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Because I do believe, and that's why How Han sees it, it so coincides with what I do because I'm preaching to like my community over and over be authentic, be unapologetic.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: It sounds so cliche, but it's like when you don't honor yourself and you're not in alignment, that's when the mental health problems start.
19:07
SPEAKER_01: So a lot of my journey was just like unpacking those things.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: That makes a lot of sense because I and I think when we say it, everyone can be like, oh yeah, that's true.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: But a lot of times people don't realize when they're not being authentic with themselves, like they think they are, but they're not actually.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the part where it can get tricky, and that's the part where there's things where you just can't see.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: And obviously that's why we get help.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that is basically what causes all of these things, is basically going against yourself.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because they feel like a lot of the trauma we experience growing up, or like the roles we have to play at some point, right?
19:52
SPEAKER_01: They like become your own.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: And so you either one get stuck in the victim mentality, like we all do, where it's this happened to me and this is just the way I am.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: We give ourselves these titles and we don't realize you do have the power to change them.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: You do.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: It's hard work, it's very fucking hard, but you can do it.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: It's you don't have to live in that space.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: And I think for a while I was like kind of playing into that role of my mom treated me this way, my dad treated me this way, like I had to be the adult in my family.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: So I deserve to out and be upset.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: Because I think at a young age, when no one is validating your feelings or no one is validating your experience, and they're like denying your reality, you feel like you're crazy, one, but like you get older, and instead of leaning into the healing, you're like, I had to go through this, I deserve to be miserable.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: And like the reality is that it's not comfortable being uncomfortable.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: And we sell ourselves that over and over and over and over again.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: And it can be difficult, of course, to look in the mirror and realize, wow, like I'm not a kid anymore.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: And like my parents don't dictate the way I act.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: Like I have the power to do this, but it's so freeing and it is beautiful, even though it's hard.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: It takes work.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting you brought that up because this is something I see with a lot of people is the reason why people have resistance to changing is because on some level they are staying where they're at to get back at their parents or to be like, oh, well, if I grow, then that's gonna make it that it was okay for what they did.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: So I don't want to make it okay.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: So if I just am stuck and I'm not successful and I'm my life isn't working, then it's like I get to shove that in their face.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's like such a weird pattern or dynamic that people get into, but you have to extract yourself from that because you're only hurting yourself.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: I've seen that with so many people where it's like they're actually associating getting better with the other person getting off the hook or something.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: And that's not 100%.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's not actually true.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: It's real.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: It's so real.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: It's like strange, but it's not because it totally makes sense.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: But I still catch myself doing it like all the time, like having to flex being like the bigger person, having to like assert healthy boundary by just making peace.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Our ego gets in the way a lot of times, especially in these situations.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: And I think for me, I totally relate to that.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: There was so long that I was trying to get my like experience validated.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: And I was scared, not scared, but to your point, like I didn't want to move forward because I was like, if I move forward, like who's gonna validate what happened to me?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm the only one speaking to what happened to me.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, if I move on, no one is gonna be like, Hannah, you went through this, good job.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think you just have to come to this reality that you make decisions for yourself.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: No one else is really affected by the decisions you make.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you have kids or whatever, but like the personal decisions that you have to like sit with every single day.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: And I think there's just a moment where you have to realize you're just making your situation worse for yourself.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: And it's hard though.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: It's really hard to like actually face that.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: But once you do, you can't go back.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, I feel better, it's working, it doesn't matter.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: It's just human that I want these people to say sorry and take accountability, but you can't control what people do.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: You can only control what you can do.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then eventually you get to the point where you acknowledge yourself and that's all you really needed in the first place, right?
23:23
SPEAKER_00: And then the cool thing that happens is that you stop needing that from your parents.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: So then you can actually show up with your parents in present time instead of being triggered by them when you're allowing them.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: And I see this with people all the time because they're like, well, why am I so triggered by my mom?
23:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, because on some level, you're still angry that she didn't acknowledge you or you're waiting for this person to finally acknowledge you, and that's not gonna happen.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: But if you reconcile that within yourself, then you can show up with them in present time.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: And again, this doesn't mean that everybody has to have a relationship with their parents.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: Like for some people, it's better if they don't.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm not like generalizing that.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: But if you do want to, which I would say 85% of people do want to, then you can.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: It's just about reconciling that within you.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I literally have zero expectations for my parents.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just and they're not bad people, but I don't need anything from them.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: So like I can show up and just shoot the shit, talk about my kids, make some jokes, and go home.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, my mom annoys me sometimes.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie, but it's not like that gut wrenching, you know, that gut wrenching where you're like, oh, I just can't be around this person.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: It's not like that at all.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: It's now it's just like, oh, you're annoying, but I don't care.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: I was talking to my brother actually about this because he's younger than me.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: And I think like a lot of times when we all are just gonna be like triggered by our parents.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: I think even if like you didn't grow up in a chaotic home, like people are just triggered by their parents, like all the time.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: It's just human.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: But I think for me, like a huge part of my healing was grieving the dynamic I wish I had.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's like so real.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: And I think that helps a lot with the disappointment because once you can like kind of drop to your point those expectations that you have, it's not as like gut wretching every single time when like your inner child is like bawling their eyes out, yeah.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: That like your parents aren't acting the way you wish they could.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: So I was talking to my brother about this.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, you have to take time to actually grieve the childhood you wish you had, because again, to the victim mentality, like a lot of us will keep like sulking in the like, I wish this happened to me, I wish I had this, and I still wish I had this.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: And then like the trauma cycle continues, especially if you don't want to cut your parents out because they're just doing the same things they did.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: And again, like, no hate to my parents, love them, but it's just the reality.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: And so, like, I think there's a lot, obviously, that goes into elevating to your highest self.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of it starts with facing yourself and oh, how amazing it would be if we could just learn our trauma and then all our triggers would go away and everything would be fabulous.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: But the reality is that it's just learning and like acknowledging just gives you context to healing.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: And you have to actually make choices every single day.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: And it fucking sucks, but that's just the way it is.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: And I've found that making those hard choices, I talk a lot on the podcast with people, whether it's like entrepreneurship or your mental health or like relationships with guys or friends or family, making the hard choice and making hard decisions for yourself is so incredibly obviously hard.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: They're hard choices, hard decisions, but ultimately they elevate your life to like new places.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm like running businesses now, like I feel so much happier.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm not depressed and anxious.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Like it was such hard work for so many years and it never stops.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: But like I wouldn't trade it for the world.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I would be able to even get close to the person I am now if I didn't make those hard decisions.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: And that kind of brings me into the business piece because I'm curious, like how, as you started healing, like how that affected like the way that you were showing up in your business.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, in so many ways.
27:12
SPEAKER_01: Again, like I was always so incredibly driven inside.
27:17
SPEAKER_01: Like I knew I was meant for more always.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: And I think we all do.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: Everyone has whether it's their dream or passion or something they know they're good at.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: I knew I was meant to do something more, especially when it came to building a community and talking over people and like talking with people.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: But I just like couldn't move.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: I was in a state of freeze.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: I was unwell.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: There's no other way to put it.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, I was unwell.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: Pandemic hit, and that's when I like full sent into healing.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: Like I was like in therapy, and then the pandemic actually allowed me a chance to actually go to therapy like twice a week, throw myself into my business because everything paused.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: So I like took advantage big time.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: And I think once you get a taste of feeling better, it's like addictive.
28:02
SPEAKER_01: So I just like threw myself in.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: I was like so inspired to just full send how hand sees it.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: I had graduated college the year before, and so I like decided I wasn't gonna go to law school because I had studied to go to law school, actually.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: I like loved to really to fight.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: Like I like had been told it had been spoken over me my entire life that I like loved confrontation and that like I was such a good fighter.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: And so I was gonna go to law school, and I was just like honestly too depressed to even move past taking the LSAT.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't have the like motivation or energy to apply.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: So I took a year off and I was like, I'm going to do this.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to see if I can make an income doing this.
28:41
SPEAKER_01: And because I had this newfound like lust for life, I just threw myself into it.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: It was like the first time that I felt I was on to feeling better, I guess.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: How Han sees it now and like the podcast and the blog and the community is like truly my heart.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: And so I think it was like the first time that I was like, I love this and this is what I'm supposed to do.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to make everything I've been through and like the wisdom I feel I'm I have and I'm gaining like worth it.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to talk to other people who feel the same way.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: And so it just started to grow.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: I think like when you honor yourself in this way and you actually follow your intuition and lean into your elevated self, things just kind of like fall into place.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: So I was like grinding for all of the pandemic, and then I ended up being able to go full-time by the time the pandemic ended, and I had just created the career I had dreamed of.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: It changes every day, and I'm continuing to like do other stuff.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: This last year, I like started the social media consulting business.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: And so I've been working with like a couple exclusive clients.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: It all kind of like moved together.
29:46
SPEAKER_01: I feel like as I elevated, everything elevated.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: And that's why I always talk about like entrepreneurship and mental health is just like one in the same because then I hit the point in my journey where I've done the work, I've done the healing, I'm in the honeymoon high.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: I think that I'm like all good.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: And then something blows up as it does in business.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh my God, I'm unworthy.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm not good enough.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: I have no value.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like, why is that popping up?
30:12
SPEAKER_01: And so like constantly facing just like different spheres and parts of the journey.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: But I do believe like the core of it was the moment I decided to align everything, just catapulted with it.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know what you mean.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: That happened for me too.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: And there's a few things I just want to touch on that you said that I think are important.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: One is because I talked about this yesterday on a podcast, and I was talking with a client about this today when you said you felt frozen, right?
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Like you couldn't move forward and until you dealt with the trauma.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think that a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs or women who are like just starting their business will experience this thing.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: Cause I love working with women who are at this stage because I just love it.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: It's like two steps forward, one step back, or they feel like they can't get out of the starting gate.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: And this is exactly why.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: And I was talking about this yesterday on a podcast when this woman was asking me, like, well, you talk a lot about being trauma informed.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Well, what does that mean?
31:12
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, actually, I think coaches need to be trauma informed because if you're working with a client to help them build their business and you're telling them to do something and they're not doing it, the coach could be like, Oh, well, I just need to hold them accountable and ask them why they're not doing it and whatever.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: But actually, most likely, if that person paid money, they do want to do it, they're most likely having some kind of trauma response.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: Just like we said.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a block and it feels like you're frozen.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: And I was just talking to a client earlier who I've been working with her for the last three months to shift this thing that was holding her back from starting her business.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: And where we've really done it.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: But that's what happens for people.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: And that's why, like to your point about the mental health piece, entrepreneurship will call you forward to grow and to address your trauma.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: So I think that that is such an important thing for people to understand and a misconception because this is not just like tactical and it's not just strategic.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: Cause I've seen so many people like have the best intentions and then it's like they fall off the face of the earth.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you, it's not because they're lazy.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: No, that's why they say all the time that I like listen to Ed Milette a lot.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: I just think he's so motivating and he's like funny, and I just love him.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: But he always says entrepreneurship is like taking like the road less traveled on.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times people think that just means because it's hard.
32:41
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to risk it all, put yourself out there, like hustle, keep yourself accountable.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: There's all these business things that are very hard, they're different in the from the corporate space.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: Like you are kind of a lone wolf and it's hard.
32:53
SPEAKER_01: But I think a lot of that like road less traveled on is you are like under a freaking flashlight.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: Every turn, something internal pops up because you're you're in most cases alone in whatever you're going for.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: And it's usually at the point where like you don't have a team yet.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: And even so, like things will always pop up because this is your heart, like this is your business.
33:14
SPEAKER_01: So things are so much more personal.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: So when like things go wrong or something isn't happening, it's like you immediately turn inward.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: And for me, the beginning part, it's funny because looking back, I would say now the beginning part actually wasn't the hardest part.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: Myself then would probably be like, Are you crazy, bitch?
33:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like it was so hard.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: But now the hard part is like sustaining and continuing and not letting that stuff get to me.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: Because for me, in my personal experience, I put so much of my self-value in work, it's something I'm continuously working on.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: I think it's hard because of how personal my business is, like it's literally me, but also because the way I got validation growing up or any sort of like love and positive affirmation was from doing good on things, like achievement.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: It's made me like very overachiever.
34:01
SPEAKER_01: Anytime like business is doing great, I was on this like major high.
34:07
SPEAKER_01: And anytime things slowed down or plateaued, I was so anxious and depressed.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: But I was very aware what was happening.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't get out of it, I couldn't shake it.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so I think it's just kind of like coming to these realizations where every time now that I'm faced with some type of crippling deja vu anxiety, I call it, where I have to like not spiral, like, oh my gosh, my anxiety's coming back.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: No, there's a reason I'm getting triggered with anxiety and depression.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm like in a funk.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, what is happening and going on that I'm not like seeing clearly?
34:41
SPEAKER_01: And for me, like this last year or 2023, I like hit like a plateau with income.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm the person that like wants to continuously look aboard, obviously, like we all do.
34:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: So I wasn't like failing, obviously, but it felt like it on like a deep level, and it like really didn't make sense.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: It does like looking back at like my childhood and stuff, but like it didn't make sense why I could not acknowledge that you're doing good.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: Life is lifing right now, but like you need to pivot and do something else.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: And you're having like a mental breakdown because of it, and it doesn't even make sense.
35:19
SPEAKER_01: And I think it it showed me like you gotta work on your value and like where that comes from, and not let your ego get in the way when you have to pivot and not see it as a failure and not see it like you're not good enough.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: And like the moment that I like could step over that a little was the moment that like everything elevated again.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: I got to start like consulting random companies.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: It doubled my income.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel so good.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: It it showed me like a new passion that I like didn't know I had, which was like helping people do what I do.
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is never something I thought I wanted to do.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: And it like forced me there.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: So I think like growth is not only good, obviously, for your own inner self and to get into alignment, but like it can catapult you in business too, and people don't realize it.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: No.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: And I think that it's funny because last year was kind of the same for me.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: It was like a plateau that forced me to change things the way I was doing things.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: And that was, I started my business in 2020.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: So that was like my third year, which I feel like is like a time where you you reassess and you're like, okay, how can I make this more sustainable?
36:24
SPEAKER_00: What are the things that are working?
36:25
SPEAKER_00: What's not working?
36:26
SPEAKER_00: And it was the same thing where I think that's part of the entrepreneur journey is like changing things and reassessing and growing and like changing the way you're doing things to evolve.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: And then also the other piece, I don't know if you experienced this, but I definitely did, where it was like the industry evolved too.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: And like things that were working for me in 2021 as far as marketing and selling and offers, like it wasn't the same anymore.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: Like things shifted.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: So it was like also evolving with that too.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: But I think if we're in our little kid trigger, we think, okay, well, I figured out how to do it.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: Now I should just be able to do this one thing and it'll just always work and I'll be happy and safe.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, that's not how it works.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: No, a hundred percent.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm so used to things evolving because the social media game is like that.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: New ass pops up you have to be on.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: But I think from a childhood trauma standpoint, I don't like change.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm a routine creature of habit.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: I like um to be in my comfort zones, and I'm still kind of like that.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I've had to force myself to like be scared to travel anymore, do all of these things.
37:36
SPEAKER_01: But for me, it was more so letting go of what the control of what I thought exactly was going to happen and look like.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what was going on.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, I found this new way where I was like, cool, like this could add something to my business.
37:51
SPEAKER_01: It could not just elevate me and my intelligence and money, obviously, but it can create this whole new other side of my business.
38:00
SPEAKER_01: Yet, like I didn't want it because I was so in my own head about the fact like, no, this is my dream.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: This is what I want.
38:10
SPEAKER_01: This is all me.
38:11
SPEAKER_01: I created this, and I'm too scared to like see it change and like it feels not only a failure, but I'm losing my dream.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, was that such like a debilitating lie I was telling myself?
38:26
SPEAKER_01: Because it, but it's like valid.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: Like I can like helicopter now and see what was happening.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: And it was just like my business is so close to my heart and it is so much integrated into my healing that like the thought of any of it shifting in any way that like wasn't how I wanted was so incredibly triggering and scary.
38:47
SPEAKER_01: But I think again, like it's about looking in the mirror and seeing like, why am I purposely holding myself back because of fear or trauma or just not being in control?
38:58
SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
38:59
SPEAKER_00: It's really like embracing the unknown too.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: And that's where you find this place within yourself where you feel solid and safe no matter what is happening around you.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: And that was something that I feel like last year I really learned too, because I think I had so much success in the beginning.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: And then it was like, okay, but you can't just keep doing the same thing now in year three that you did in year two and year one, and still have the same thing happen because you're changing, your work's changing, and the industry's changing.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: And I had to really get that.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a thing that a lot of entrepreneurs go through because you think that it's like, okay, I'm gonna find this thing, and then that's it.
39:42
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: And then that's when like you revisit the shit that comes up again.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: It's so funny.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: I always have people come to me and they're like, Well, I've already done so much work around this.
39:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, that's great.
39:56
SPEAKER_00: And so wouldn't that be amazing?
39:59
SPEAKER_01: No, but this is like back to the piece I was saying about how like it's like healing too.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: You do all this work and you're like, yay, I'm good.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: And then like life life and like new things pop up.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: And so business and healing, it's the same, which sucks.
40:15
SPEAKER_01: It's just the reality, though.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: Like it just never stops.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: Something happens and you get to like flex the tools that you've learned, and then it's really empowering when you do it.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And then when you don't, you're just like, okay, I need to work here.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: And then you have to grow too.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, for me, like I did so much healing work at a really young age, like in my early 20s, but then I had to live life.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, I had still had to like go through awful breakups and go through really hard work things and go through like horrible like situations and learning stuff and all of these things.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I'm glad that I'm aware of this stuff, but just because you do the healing work doesn't mean that your life just gets to be perfect and that's it.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: It's still like a human experience.
40:59
SPEAKER_00: It's just like being able to have, like you said, the context to understand what's happening.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: I think that's the biggest thing.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk about because I know we talked before on your podcast, and I want to bring this to the table too, because we love talking about this, to take the business and how you love your business and I love my business, and how the business has actually been like this catalyst to leaving the matrix.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: And what does that mean to you?
41:24
SPEAKER_00: What are your thoughts on that?
41:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, it's so funny because I feel like people are starting to talk about this more, at least in our sphere, which is great.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's so funny because the social media, the way it works, like your algorithm like goes to where you like.
41:37
SPEAKER_01: So to me, it feels like more people are, but I know that that's not the case.
41:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, it might not be.
41:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like, yeah, I feel like people are talking about crazy shit all the time, but that's just because I am.
41:49
SPEAKER_01: Right?
41:50
SPEAKER_01: No, but I was at dinner last night, actually, and like I literally just went by myself and I started talking to this guy next to me, and he was like brought up the matrix, and I was like, Oh my god, this is so cool, and he was so nice, and we just had this conversation and it totally affirmed what I believe as well, which is just like when you decide, because it is a conscious choice to not address your issues, and I say that generally.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: So, whether that's like depression, anxiety, anything that you're going through, like I believe that you are continuing to participate in the matrix.
42:23
SPEAKER_01: It's just like this ignorance is bliss type thing.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think that the bliss is not actually bliss.
42:29
SPEAKER_01: I think that people are very comfortable being uncomfortable, actually uncomfortable.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: And it's the comfort that they know.
42:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes, they don't realize it's uncomfortable, they don't realize like how detrimental it is to all aspects of their life.
42:45
SPEAKER_01: And so when you decide that you're going to take what pill is it that gives you consciousness?
42:50
SPEAKER_01: The red pill.
42:51
SPEAKER_01: The red pill.
42:52
SPEAKER_01: When you take the red pill, so when you decide to look in the mirror, when you decide to face yourself, when you decide to make the hard choice, which it is, it's really uncomfortable and hard.
43:04
SPEAKER_01: Ultimately, yes, you're going to live, quote unquote, maybe a bit more difficult life because you're very much aware of what's happening.
43:12
SPEAKER_01: It's hard.
43:12
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't feel good to constantly be triggered and have like new things pop up.
43:17
SPEAKER_01: In my life now, to our point five seconds ago, talking about how constantly you're triggered, it never stops.
43:22
SPEAKER_01: And I think even now I'm like, I thought it was hard what I was doing in the beginning, which it was, but this feels harder now.
43:29
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm having to like actually exercise because my eyes are opened to things that I have to do to grow and change and elevate.
43:37
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't feel good.
43:38
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't feel good when you have to make the choice that doesn't feel comfortable or like in line with what you've done your entire life.
43:45
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't feel good to like unfriend people because they're like not showing up the way you need them to.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't feel good to do all those things, but ultimately I do think you're more comfortable, like you're more free, you're more aligned.
43:58
SPEAKER_01: And that's where.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Your most healed and elevated self lives.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: And so for me, that's what it looks like to like escape the matrix.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: It's just like being real with ourselves.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people struggle to do that.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, because the other piece, and this is something I've been saying since 2020, is I think where the disconnect comes in for people is what it actually means to look at yourself and to look at what is really happening on this planet is would mean that you have to take full responsibility for everything in your life, good or bad.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: And that is very confronting for people.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: And the reason why is because everyone has unhealed childhood trauma and they're subconsciously waiting for mommy and daddy to tell them what to do and to finally tell them that they're good enough, but it's all unconscious, right?
44:50
SPEAKER_00: So it's really terrifying to take full responsibility when you have unconscious childhood trauma because it feels just very unsafe.
45:01
SPEAKER_00: So I think that is a really big piece of it too.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: Cause that's that's one thing that like we can talk about leaving the matrix and doing things differently and not subscribe to like society's norms and everything.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: But the reality is it's not that glamorous.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: And it really is about this full radical responsibility for everything, even the things that you felt weren't necessarily your fault and where you felt like the victim, it's still taking responsibility for all of that.
45:30
SPEAKER_00: And that is not necessarily glamorous, but the business does get to be the catalyst for that, because then you get to make money just for being you, and that's like your ticket out of it.
45:45
SPEAKER_01: No, for sure.
45:46
SPEAKER_01: I think for me, the hardest part is now that your eye will say eyes are open since we're talking about like the matrix.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: So now that like you see everything and like you can be really real with yourself, that doesn't stop the wanting to make the choices that you made before.
46:02
SPEAKER_01: And so there's like a hard balance of trying to not feel like shame when you're like repeating a pattern that you know is not right.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: For instance, I can even just think in my life right now, like in dating, for instance, I am single right now.
46:17
SPEAKER_01: And over the last even year, there have been situations where I really like someone, but it is apparent that I would have to step in and fix.
46:28
SPEAKER_01: They are not ready for me.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: And I've caught myself wanting to stick around, wanting to help, and like wanting to not just leave the horse to water, but force it to drink.
46:40
SPEAKER_01: And I've had to like really look at myself and be like, you're doing it.
46:44
SPEAKER_01: And I know it sucks to walk away from something you really like, something you think is really good, but from the growth you've done, you should know this is the pattern repeating.
46:55
SPEAKER_01: Do not do this.
46:57
SPEAKER_00: And it's so hard because you don't want to make that choice.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: And also like when you're attracted to somebody, your brain and your emotional, chemical, all of that is not like, oh, this is the pattern.
47:09
SPEAKER_00: No, I just feel like attracted to this person.
47:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm not you know what I mean.
47:13
SPEAKER_01: It's 100% really hard.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: No, but it's even harder, I feel.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: And there's a misconception that we've talked about this entire episode of like when you realize things, like it gets easier.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: No, like you have to actually make the right choices now.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: And so it's incredibly difficult to walk away from things that like your body feels is like comfortable, even though it's not going to work, or even in business, moving from romantic relationships into business, same problem.
47:39
SPEAKER_01: Like, I know that I feel like shit when I'm not cortisol high running around making myself stressed.
47:47
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't need to be that way.
47:49
SPEAKER_01: I have implemented like tools and skills to make sure that I get my crazy to-do list done every single day and not feel stressed.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: But it's been like really difficult dealing with, okay, like I finished everything I need to before the sun goes down.
48:03
SPEAKER_01: Did I do enough?
48:04
SPEAKER_01: Should I have worked harder?
48:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm confused why I don't feel stressed right now.
48:08
SPEAKER_01: Because I don't feel stressed, does that mean I didn't work hard enough?
48:12
SPEAKER_01: And having to like rewire and sit in that and be like, no, you are making healthy choices.
48:17
SPEAKER_01: You've done work and created tools necessary so that you don't have to live in a high cortisol, deregulated place.
48:24
SPEAKER_01: You need to rewrite this feeling.
48:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, this is good.
48:27
SPEAKER_01: You're supposed to relax.
48:28
SPEAKER_01: Like it's very difficult to like do all of these things, but that's how you live your highest elevated self.
48:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: And it's so funny.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: I've had so many people say to me when they start doing the metamorphosis, when they're like, I have anxiety about not having anxiety.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:43
SPEAKER_01: This is real.
48:45
SPEAKER_01: It's so real because if you are living in that place for so long and then you don't experience it, you almost don't trust it.
48:53
SPEAKER_01: And I think that goes back to childhood trauma too.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: Like, I was always waiting for like the shoe to drop, yeah, constantly.
48:58
SPEAKER_01: So it's really hard for me to like feel good in like a state of like success and like relaxation and happiness.
49:05
SPEAKER_01: Cause I'm like, there's something gonna happen.
49:07
SPEAKER_01: Something's gonna happen.
49:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't trust any of this.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: But no, it's like rewriting that and like really being able to be like, no, this is normal.
49:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm supposed to enjoy life.
49:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that was me.
49:18
SPEAKER_00: I feel like my first at least year of my business because I was like so new.
49:23
SPEAKER_00: I feel like the whole time I was literally just moving from a place of like fear that it was just all gonna be taken away.
49:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, what if all of my clients leave?
49:32
SPEAKER_00: What if all my money goes away?
49:34
SPEAKER_00: It was literally like that.
49:36
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't even know that I was operating from that way.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like pretty self-aware.
49:41
SPEAKER_00: But I think just being so new as a business owner, it just brought up so much stuff for me that I just I wouldn't have had any context for because I've never done it before.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: So it was like once I realized that that I was like making business decisions from that fear, I was like, this is crazy.
50:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't do this anymore.
50:03
SPEAKER_00: That's the trauma that comes up for people.
50:05
SPEAKER_00: And I think that if you don't have a context for it, you do think that it's real and you think that you do have to operate from that place.
50:13
SPEAKER_00: And then it causes you to make decisions that are not a contribution to like the growth of your business, to your clients, to you in general.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: And then people wonder why they feel like burnt out or they don't feel good in the business.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: And it's usually because they're operating from that place of like fear that something terrible is going to happen.
50:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: And aside from the energy just being awful and not good for business, we all deserve to like feel good.
50:40
SPEAKER_01: That was like a huge part of my healing and the reason why I interview people on the podcast and have grown a community.
50:47
SPEAKER_01: Like it's not to like be here and just be someone you listen to.
50:51
SPEAKER_01: I just want people to like feel good.
50:54
SPEAKER_01: And I want people to know that they have the capacity to do so.
50:57
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times, like we think we don't.
50:59
SPEAKER_01: And it's the same thing with that you're talking about.
51:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, we all have the capacity to start a business.
51:03
SPEAKER_01: We're all like more than capable of being in a healthy relationship, starting the business, even if you think that you're not qualified.
51:10
SPEAKER_01: Like we all have it in us.
51:12
SPEAKER_01: And I think that if you don't face yourself and like the insecurities and fears you have, like it holds you back from being able to have that capacity.
51:22
SPEAKER_01: Even though it's there, you are so convinced that it's not that you will just never elevate.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of people get stuck at that place where they just think that they can't for whatever reason.
51:33
SPEAKER_00: And not to say that every single person has to start a business.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: That's not the case.
51:38
SPEAKER_00: But I feel like a lot of people do want to do that, but they have these like reasons why they think they can't that they think are true, which are not actually true.
51:47
SPEAKER_00: It's just based in trauma.
51:49
SPEAKER_00: Or they think they don't know what they would do, but they actually do.
51:53
SPEAKER_00: It's just the trauma that clouds their vision.
51:56
SPEAKER_00: So it's just something that unless you decide you're gonna look at it, you're not gonna be able to see it.
52:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
52:03
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people trick themselves into thinking that they're the only person that's feeling the way they are.
52:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
52:08
SPEAKER_01: And that I think a lot of people would look at me and be like, oh my God, well, she's obviously an entrepreneur.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: It makes sense a hundred percent why she's doing that, like blah, blah, blah.
52:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's definitely like a calling of mine, but I face imposter syndrome every single day.
52:21
SPEAKER_01: I feel scared all the time.
52:23
SPEAKER_01: It's a conscious flex of having to like choose to move those feelings aside, like let them.
52:29
SPEAKER_01: I just read this book and it was really, really good.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: And she essentially was talking about how, like, when you go after a dream, like fear is always gonna be there.
52:35
SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times we let it be the driver and not the passenger.
52:38
SPEAKER_01: Moving our like insecurities and fears into the passenger seat, members of the car, but they don't actually drive.
52:45
SPEAKER_01: Because I think for me, it's easy to say that, but I thought for so long that they shouldn't even be passengers in the car.
52:53
SPEAKER_01: No, I shouldn't be feeling this way at all.
52:55
SPEAKER_01: Anxiety, I don't claim her anymore.
52:57
SPEAKER_01: Why is she here?
52:58
SPEAKER_01: Fear, oh my gosh, no, get out of the car.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: And I think the moment you realize, like, this is human, it's actually just human and normal.
53:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a superhuman.
53:08
SPEAKER_01: Like, they're always gonna be passengers in my car, and I need to be okay with that and not let them lead the car, but just be okay with them being there because I am human and that's normal, and I can't have them exit the vehicle.
53:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I totally agree.
53:23
SPEAKER_00: I feel like in the beginning of my business, I got to this point where I was like, okay, I just am like used to being afraid now.
53:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm just fine with being afraid.
53:32
SPEAKER_00: It's not like I'm like acting from being afraid, but like the feeling of fear about continuously putting myself out there, sharing my gifts, like all of these things, I'm just used to being afraid and it's fine.
53:45
SPEAKER_00: And it was like once I like normalize that and realize it was gonna be part of the process, and not to say like I have to be afraid all the time, but what I mean is, you know, when anytime I like do something new or bring a new idea forward, it's always, oh, is this gonna work?
53:58
SPEAKER_00: Is this not gonna work?
53:59
SPEAKER_00: What's gonna happen?
54:00
SPEAKER_00: And you have that little like anxiety or that little fear of what if this was a bad idea or what if this doesn't work out, or what if this is stupid or whatever, because you're constantly just birthing these things out of you all the time.
54:13
SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's vulnerable to share, like you said, for me to share the things that I share.
54:19
SPEAKER_00: This is like my deepest, most inner things, my life's work.
54:23
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's vulnerable at times, but once I got used to like, I'm gonna be afraid and that's okay.
54:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay, you can just move forward anyway.
54:32
SPEAKER_01: It's like exposure therapy.
54:33
SPEAKER_01: You just have to like keep doing it over and over again.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think the more times that things don't work out or that you make yourself uncomfortable, like I don't think it ever goes away, but I do think it gets easier to like flex.
54:47
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
54:47
SPEAKER_01: And so like the more times you like just do things with fear there, the more you can be like, okay, I can keep doing and making these choices.
54:55
SPEAKER_01: And then you can also differentiate your intuition a little bit better.
54:59
SPEAKER_01: Is this fear like actually like a sign that I shouldn't do this?
55:03
SPEAKER_01: Or is this the fear I know to be like, okay, this is a good idea if I'm scared?
55:08
SPEAKER_01: You can like start to recognize, and I think you can only start to do that and intuitively make decisions, whether it's in your relationships, business, whatever, if you actually step out in fear.
55:17
SPEAKER_01: And you can't figure it out unless you do so.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I always joke, people will be like, How do you like record yourself in public?
55:23
SPEAKER_01: Because that's such an influencer thing.
55:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, you have to like vlog on stories, and I'll do it like in public all the time.
55:28
SPEAKER_01: And people are like, How do you do it?
55:30
SPEAKER_01: It's so scary.
55:30
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, you just have to keep doing it, and then it's not weird.
55:33
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
55:34
SPEAKER_01: People are more scared or not scared.
55:37
SPEAKER_01: I've never been like scared of public speaking or like that kind of stuff, but it is uncomfortable at first.
55:43
SPEAKER_01: It's not normal to like pick up a phone and look in it and talk to your phone in front of people in public.
55:49
SPEAKER_01: But like over and over and over, you're doing it, like it just gets easier.
55:53
SPEAKER_01: And it just becomes like nothing.
55:55
SPEAKER_00: I used to be afraid of that.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: I won't sit in like a coffee shop and do that, but I'll do it while I'm like walking down the street, like walking the dog.
56:03
SPEAKER_00: But I remember my one coach, like she'll always get on the stories like while she's in an Uber.
56:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, wow, that's like ballsy.
56:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, I really aspire to that.
56:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
56:14
SPEAKER_01: It came to this point where I was like, because I shoot all my content on my tripod.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, I would say like 85% of my content is shot like by myself.
56:23
SPEAKER_01: And so it got to this point where I was like, I can't do my job unless I like can get over this and do it myself.
56:29
SPEAKER_01: I can't like rely on other people.
56:31
SPEAKER_01: And so I think you gotta do the things that are like necessary in catapulting your business, even when it's uncomfortable.
56:38
SPEAKER_01: And so for me, that's like shooting myself, talking on my phone, like making these choices by myself.
56:44
SPEAKER_01: It's just you have to do a little exposure therapy.
56:47
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
56:48
SPEAKER_01: I love that exposure therapy.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I know we could keep talking forever, but I know we have to wrap up.
56:53
SPEAKER_00: So can you just let people know where they can find you and also if you have anything exciting going on or anything you want to tell people about?
57:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I am how hand sees it on everything on Instagram, TikTok.
57:05
SPEAKER_01: The blog is how handsees it.com and the podcast is how I see it, and the Instagram is how I see it pod.
57:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, life is exciting.
57:14
SPEAKER_01: I feel like I have nothing like major happening.
57:17
SPEAKER_01: Like I always talk about it on Instagram, if so, but come join fam.
57:21
SPEAKER_01: Love to have you.
57:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm just excited to like do what I do.
57:24
SPEAKER_01: So everything is exciting, but yeah, nothing major.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: Yay, I love that.
57:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for being here.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: I know everyone's gonna love it.
57:31
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
57:32
SPEAKER_00: Bye, everyone.
57:34
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
57:36
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
57:43
SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit you can apply to anything else in my world.
57:50
SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds and by joining my Facebook group, Financial Freedom for Spiritual Entrepreneurs, where I share all of my most fun and potent content.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my breathwork for financial freedom at elisebreeds.com.
58:06
SPEAKER_00: See you next time.