Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: MLB Marathons, NFL Islands, Lamps, Forks

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The Fifth Hour: MLB Marathons, NFL Islands, Lamps, Forks · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Mahler and Danny g Radio A Happy Saturday, College football
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Saturday today, the eleventh day of October. Danny, and there's
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a baseball game today. How about that game last night,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the Holy Canoly.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: You mean the one that ended ten minutes ago.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, I thought, well, you know, Friday night.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I love elimination games. I'm a loser, Danny. I spent
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: my Friday night. I thought the game would last two
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: and a half hours. That thing lasted five hours, five
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: hours before Jorge Polanco delivered the dagger for the Mariners.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: Let's put it this way, Benny. I did the CNR podcast,
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: I did their Best of the Week podcast. I cut
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: up clips for sponsors, sent emails left the network, sat
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: in traffic for an hour, got home, had dinner, baby,
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: sat CoA for two hours, and the game was still going.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, no. I was like, okay, so that
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: is Friday. The game starts on the West Coast at
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: five o'clock or five oh eight or whatever. This thing
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: will be over by seven thirty, LA time, no problem.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: The thing ended after ten o'clock. It was like one
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: in the you know, I think it was after ten o'clock.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: It was ridiculous. But the Mariners congratulations to what Robbie
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: the Mariner fan JJ and written crying Craig no denis
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: the long suffering Mariner apologist, all all you guys, as
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: the Mariners have advanced to the American League Championship Series.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: The winner take all Game five, and uh the the
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: line from John Sterling that's been on this podcast. That's baseball, Susan.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: The Tigers lose both games started by clearing away the
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: top pitcher in the American League, Schooble, and they both
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: games he started, they end up losing, and they lose
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: the series. So it's bananas. I did have a developing take,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: which it's no one's gonna remember it because the Mariners
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: won the game. It was the I think it was
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: the what ending? Was it the sixth inning? George Kirby
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: had thrown five shutout innings for the Mariners. To me,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: this was peak modern baseball stupidity, and I jotted it down.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I wrote a little note because I knew I'd be
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: talking about this game, and this game will be old
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: by the time the radio show comes back around, right,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: So I was like, maybe I'll mention this on the podcast.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: But it bothered me so much, and it's like it's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: one of those things. Since Seattle won, It's like, who cares.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: But you've got George Kirby who was dealing and I
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: don't even think he's that good, but he was dealing bullets,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: mowing guys down in this winner take all game. And
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Dan Wilson looks at his iPad and goes, well, you know,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: it's third time through the order penalty. The chart says,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: take him out of the game. You can't make this
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: stuff up. And this is the religion of analytics at
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: its dumble.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: H Oh, yeah, you mean, like how glass now was
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: dealing and he got pulled and good thing that worked
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: out for the Dodgers.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: But had it not, we'd be talking about that still.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well then they claimed he had a cramp, which,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: as I said, there's some jokes we used to make
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: on the radio. We don't make anymore about cramps.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: But he Nolan Ryan is laughing to himself right now.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: But this guy Danny threw, he was throwing a jam.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I was like he was matching.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: He wasn't striking out as many as a schoogle, but
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: he was getting the outs. In fact, he had the
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: lead at that point, sixty six pitches, no runs, and
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: they handed the ball the Mariners to Gabe Speier, who
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: had a five point four ERA in the postseason and
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: who exactly baseball malpractice. Of course, Carry Carpenter hit a
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: home run. He went to Poundtown and hit a two
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: run bomb. Boom goes the dynamite off the reliever. You know,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Seattle won the game. So it's like it's only one
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: of those things that'll be something I remember about this.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: But you're right, Nolan Ryan, You're absolutely right. Laugh Randy Johns,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: even Randy Johnson would laugh at that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: And the like you pussy's do you think I didn't
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: have any ramps when I was on my one hundred
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: and twenty fifth pitch.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, the one hundred pitch thing drives me nuts. And
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I guess every day on this podcast because yesterday I
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: was ripping the Philadelphia Phillies on the podcast. I was
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: mocking the analytics, right, because the analytics would tell you
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: the dog should not have won that game because the Phillies.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: All the Dodgers did was put the ball in play.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: It was the funniest thing that the game game was
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: a game four Dodgers and Phillies. When Andy pie is
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: he hit a little two hopper that went about thirty
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: five forty feet and he's doing the postgame interview on
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Turner like he was a hero of the game. Because
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: this is the problem. You put the ball in play,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: you make people make plays. That's another one of these things,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: the cult of baseball, modern baseball. They don't believe in that,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: and they don't you know, you're not allowing people to
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: test the limits like all that stuff. Just pot listen, Sea,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I don't one. Congratulations and so we are set.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Up another five today.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: That's right. Well, yeah, we'll be definitely watching that with
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: baited breath from Milwaukee as the Brew Crew and the
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Cubbies will decide who gets to play the Dodgers, so
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: we're we're guaranteed to have a well if the Dodgers
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: get there, we'll definitely have a World Series with someone
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: they've ever played before. The Mariners have never been to
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: the World Series, and as far as the Dodgers have
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: played the Brewers and Cubs, I feel like they've played
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: them a lot in the playoffs.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: That would be a West Coast World Series and the
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: Dodgers would have home field.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Oh with Seattle?
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Is that yeah?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Would they really? Okay?
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: I think so? Yeah.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know the overall records the matchup though, the
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Brewers and the Cubs. I don't believe either team has
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: listed a starting pitcher. And it's the morning of the game,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: which seems problematic. The Brewers are a slight favorite in
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: that game tonight, so that's what's up in the winner,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: we'll take on the the Doyers, you get the Mariners
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: and the Blue Jays. Game Game one of that series
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: will be tomorrow, So quick turnaround for the Mariners.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: And Mariners won ninety games. Dodgers won ninety three games.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, Okay, so they would have they would have
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: home field, and they would have if the Cubs win,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: would the Dodgers have home field? They would have home
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: fielder with Cubs, I would assume, right, is that.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Over the Cubs? But not Yeah, but not the Brewers.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not the Brewers. I don't think it matters, like
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you know, it's not. There's not like a moat around
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: the field with alligators if you go to the warning
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: track and all that stuff. So I wanted to begin
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: though on this podcast. We've got the island life heat
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: lamps and lunch with the plastics, but I want to
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: begin with this. So I used this term a lot,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: and I've had some people reach out to me says,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I don't understand what is that? What does that mean?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: An island game? An island game? Now you're the listener.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you know, Danny, you know what
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: an island games, but maybe the listeners does not know.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: So it's the one NFL game on the schedule. Now,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: this was a The game last night between the Tigers
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and the Mariners was an island game. It was a
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: standalone game. But the island game is mostly a football term.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: And early if you watch football on Sunday, normally the
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: early window, you have the late window. But when it's
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: an island game, there's no there's no competition, there's.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: No red zone.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: There's one game, one stage, one reason. You know you're
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: texting your friends about that one game. That's it. That's it.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: It's the island, not a palm tree, not my tie.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: There's no hammock anywhere, and that's it. Like Monday night
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: football originated the island life, it became an event. It
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: was Howard Cosell in your living room telling you what
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: you already knew, but had very good dictation and was
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: the grown up in the room. It was the soundtrack
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: back in those days, like massive ratings felt important and
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: all that, and and the NFL over the years they said,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: well why stop at Monday. So they did Thursday, and
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: they do Sunday night, even the technically the London game.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of these now and if you're on
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the West coast, that is six in the morning they
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: kick off the London game and so you can enjoy
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: that while you're eating a stale bagel or whatever. But
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the NFL does not miss an opportunity to remind you
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: that they run the show. They run the counter. There's
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: something different about these island games and I in the
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: gambling world. It's kind of more of a gambling thing
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: than anything, but you certainly feel it. You can tell
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: it's bigger when even when it is it it's the
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: only show in town. Like we had Jacksonville and Kansas City.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Nobody gets up for Jacksonville. But that was the last
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Monday night game. It was an island game. Is everyone's watching.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Everything is micro analyzed an island game. Every throw, every punt,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: every bad time out feels louder like for example, the
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: end of that last Monday night game between Kansas City
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: and Jacksonville, you had Trevor Lawrence fall down, get up,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: look around in shock. No one was there and walking
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: to the end zone because Chris Jones decided he didn't
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: want to hustle on the play.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: He actually fell twice.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, felt but Chris Jones standing there watching like
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: he was one of the camera people were security butt. Yeah,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: that was That was great and so u as in
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: football we love it and all that. It's it's great,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: but the party, party of one, party of one, and
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: when you're watching on Sunday in the early window at
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: one o'clock Eastern or even four o'clock. There's there's usually
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: a few other games at four o'clock Eastern, but there's noise,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: there's other games, there's distractions. You might miss a play.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: You know, you're flipping around. I'm watching two or three well,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: in the early window, I'm usually watching three or four games.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: The late window, I'm flipping around to all three games.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: But an island game, an island game, every mistake under
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: the microscope right becomes a headline. You blow a coverage
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: on Monday night, they're replaying it as we were just
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: laid out here. If you don't hustle playing it for
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: days to come. And if you're a quarterback at one
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: o'clock in the afternoon and you throw a terrible interception,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: it's not being dissected like a frog in a lab.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: It's not. And again, the Gambers kind of figure this
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: stuff out first. This is their playground. You can pretend
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it's about football, but it's just more juice on island games.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: And there's no hedging with seven other bets and all
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: that stuff is just one game. You're either winning or
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: you're throwing the remote control. And the other thing, which
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: is great, it's undeniable, is the communal aspect of that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: That in this streaming world where you watch stuff on
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: demand when you want something where everyone is united and
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: everyone's watching the same thing, and it's like the Last Bastion,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: if you will, where everyone's doing the same thing at
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the same time. I say everyone. There's still a lot
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: of people don't care about football and all that, but
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: it's either shared dread or shared joy depending on the outcome,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: like the super Bowl, but the entire football consuming public
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: looking at the same whether it's bad offense or you know,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: people say, I don't know, what's that coach doing. You fired.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's like a church or a temple if the tabernacle
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: or synagogue had prop bets pretty much right, you got.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: A quarterback can have a bad throw in the early windows,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I said, people are gonna remember it. You throw the
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: same lame duck in a primetime Island game and you
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: become a trending topic and we're all ranting Daniel and
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: the radio about you in island. It's an ordinary thing
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: an island games, there's an ordinary play into a defining moment,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: and reputations are often enhanced and people come out of
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: nowhere and occasionally, you know, things are overcooked by Tuesday
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: morning and all that. But that's the beauty of the NFL,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: the master illusionists in the NFL. It turns the little
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: scheduling quirk into this national ritual of watching. And again,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter who's in there. You know, you could
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: put the Tennessee Titans against the Cleveland Browns and it
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: would look like Picasso if you just shine the right
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: light on it. And so everyone kind of understands that,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and they know they know we're gonna watch, right, and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: we know we're gonna they know many of us are
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: gonna bet on it, and so yeah, even if we
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: all post on social media, boy, this game stinks. Or
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: did you hear what al Michael said. That's the genius
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: of it. It's an island game because the NFL made
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: it an island game. It's a Maden man made creation.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: It's like a skyscraper man made it. But the point
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: is that island games, it's not about the quality, it's
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: about the focus. It's one giant magnifying glass. And so
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: there you go.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Isild in games. Moon.
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: When you first said that, I thought you were talking
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: about how they scouted play Thompson's dad, Michael back in the.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Day, back back in the day. Michael Thompson, who I
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: used to have on the radio when he was playing, Well,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: he wasn't playing. He was a broadcaster for the Trailblazers
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: back in the day. But yeah, he's still.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Doing his he's still a little almost man.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: He's still doing the Laker games, right, I think he is.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he is.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: So, there you go.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: That's the island game. So don't ask me about it again.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I don't. If you have any questions, look for Sports
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: with Coleman. He'll answer all your questions about island game.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: No bikinis, no palm trees, none of that stuff. And
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: certainly in an island game, because you have the island life,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: there are no there are no heat lamps because it's
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: an island game. You don't need heat lamps because there's
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: enough juice out there.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, let me take you back to Monday at Fox
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: Sports Radio. Monday, Monday, you know, usually Monday evening at
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: the network is usually kind of uneventful. I see Mike
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: Carmon in the blue kitchen. I see Jason Smith walking
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: down the hallway as I'm leaving. Monday night football is
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: going on. So you hear a little editors reacting to
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: the football game, as you said, because it's an island game.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: Other than that, you know, not a lot of fireworks
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: going on at that hour. This past Monday was different
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: because Rob Parker was celebrating press box being named after him.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I know, Ben, I'm sure your alma
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: mater there in Orange County is going to name a
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: press box after you pretty soon.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Oh sure, I'm sure they're working on it right now
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: as we speak. They're waiting for Do they even have
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: a press box there? Yes, it has three chairs in it. Yeah,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: but hey, I'll take it. You know they want to
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: do it, eh, saddle back then?
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, I mean he didn't go to a big school, right,
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: isn't it southern Connecticut?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, I saw. I saw a photo. It
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: looked it looked kind of cool. His name was right here.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Hey, they painted it, Danny. That's a big upgrade.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Nice they did. They painted it, They put his name
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: on it.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Sell the alarm if you know.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: He loves some Rob And it's not a bad thing
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: because all these years he's been really good at promoting himself.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: The next newspaper writing gig the next TV gig, the next.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Radio gig, No Lie no bs.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: It got really good because as I'm in the Casey
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: case And Production studio doing the Covino and Rich podcast.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: After the show, Iowa Sam comes walking by and knocks
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: on the door, sticks his head in, and he says, dude,
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: they are setting up heat lamps out there in the kitchen.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: Ooh yeah, like really, And he was so excited telling
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: a little kid they're going to get to go to
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: the toy section at Target because Iowa Sam, there's nothing
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: better than free food. In the mind of that guy.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: There's free food. Sure, it starts at seven pm. I'm
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: going to go home and shower and shape. It was
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: like Sam was getting ready for a date.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: So just for the record, for those that don't know,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: so we have the Smurf Kitchen at Fox Sports Radio.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: So what you're describing here is Rob Parker decided to
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: rent out the venue, the hall, which is not even
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: a hall, it's a blue table.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: So he took that party from Connecticut and had another
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: party in Sherman Oaks with some of the staff there
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: at our network. So it was a good turnout and
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: there was ribs, there was mac and cheese. There was
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: corn bread chicken wings. Of course, Rob loves the flats.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: That's a joke on the show that whenever Rob goes
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: to like a chicken wing place, no drums, no drums,
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: he tells them all flats. Don't even try to give
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: me any drums. I want all flats, really good catering company.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: Rob went all out for his party. Rob g who
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: used to produce your fine radio show, Wrong Button Bob,
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, funny ass snow man. And then Kelvin Washington
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: is on air partner. He said, Kelvin, you're gonna do
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: the second toast. Okay, Elijah, you got the video set up.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: There was like a news piece in Connecticut where they
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: did a story on Rob.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: Wow. All right, guys, I know everyone's hungry.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: You all want to eat, but we're gonna hear from
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: a couple of people that I work closely with, and
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: then you're gonna watch a video and then we're gona
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: have a toast and then we're gonna eat.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: Well, this is impressive.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, there's no question I love Rob. Clearly did
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: not get the inner. You know, when you think of me, Danny,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: you think of an introvert. He did not get the
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: introvert a gene. Rob, he did not. I was at
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: his birthday party. Was it a couple of years ago?
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Remember he rented out the hall at the MGM Grand
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: in Vegas.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: And then oh, yeah, that's right, you had the.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Big birthday bash there that was hundreds of people. That
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: was insane how many people were there. But this was
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: obviously a smaller, a smaller event. I did not get
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: the invite actually saw Rob. Now, I get there pretty early.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I get to the to the station pretty early before
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: the show because I've got a very long drive from
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: the north Wood, So I usually try to get there
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: sometimes up to ninety minutes before the show, just so
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I can finish getting ready and I don't have to
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: be rushed worry about an accident or anything like that.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So I get there early and I'm walking in and
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Rob's walking out with trays of food and he's got
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: a couple of his buddies with them, and I was like, well,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: that's kind of odd because Rob was way before, way
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: before that time. And yeah, he said there's some corn
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: bread in there if you want some, So there was.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's all they left you. Yeah, speaking of that cornbread.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: The other amazing feat of the night, one of our
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: coworkers I won't say their name, he was first in
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: line for the food. And you know that's always kind
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: of awkward too, because you don't want to rush to
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: the front. You let other people go first. We especially
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: the couple of girls that were there, we let them
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: go first as gentlemen. So we're watching this. I load
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: up a plate super high. Oh my god, he must
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: be hungry. And he turns to Rob and he said,
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: I didn't eat anything all day. I saved it up
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: for this. So yeah, so he was off shot.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: At his birthday party. I'm pretty sure he was doing
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: inventory on what was being consumed and what was you
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, he is keeping track. Rob does
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: keep track of what's being consumed and what's not being consumed.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: Well, he didn't stop this coworker from going back a
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: second time, because when we were finally sitting down eating
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: our first plate, this guy went back to all of
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: the uh, what are the catering trays?
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: He goes back to all the heat lamps in the
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: trays and starts piling up a second plate. He has
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: the second plate in one hand and in the other
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: hand he has one of the to go containers that
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: the catering company had on the table. I think they
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: meant for those to be used at the end of
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: the party. Not only was he first in line, he's
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: now eating a second plate while we're eating our first
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: and he's loading up. But to go plate, Well, you
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: got something you should something you should know about summer
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: radio peoples, if there is free food, be there early
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: and be there first.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: So this guy went in there and just was gobbling
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: up all the food and didn't even like no decorum.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: My grandfather would say a hawser Yiddish for a pig, porky,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: porky the pig. Wow, all right, we got I guess
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: there you go. So the lesson to Rob is to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: have have that somewhere else and not invite whoever that
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I think I know who that was, but don't invite them.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: That's that's it, man. I had one more, as all
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: stories do. This was an ordinary weekday adventure, and this
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: is the Saturday podcast, so it's the Life of mal
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: or the Life of Danny g. So it started out
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: any other ordinary weekday, although this time my wife she
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: went into work a little later. She at night during
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: the week, and so we had a little bit of
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: a lunch thing. And we do this every time she
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: gets either the night off or she goes into work
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: a little later, because we don't really see each other
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: much during the week at all. It's pretty much just
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: on the weekends. And you know, sometimes she has plans
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: then too, so I don't even see her then. But
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: she didn't have to be at work so that early.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: So we thought we'll be civilized humans, will go out,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: have a nice meal whatever normally cook is, I like
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: to say here, and so sat down at the table.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Don't have to be at home where Moxie's farting while
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: we're eating, you know, and all that. So we picked
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: up a local restaurant, nothing fancy, you know, place that
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: has my kind of food, fried food, which I like
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: when I go out and all that. And so I
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: had my chili chili fries, which is my new Michagas.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Tastes like a touchdown in your mouth, and I'm living
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: my best middle aged dream right there. And then I
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: bit into them. It was like the I can bite
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: and I bit into and it was like kind of crunchy,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: and it was like some crunchy And now crunch is
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: fine when you expect crunch if you bite it, bite
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: a chip, you know it's I don't. I don't eat pickles,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: but I've been around people like, who are weird that
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: like pickles? And you get a crunch, Maybe eat a
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: fry you know that fry it that it's been in
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: the deep fryer a little too long.
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, But there's nothing weird about pickles. You're the
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: weird one for not liking.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Though I like the smell of them, I don't like
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: the texture. I don't like the taste. I had to
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I was forced to eat them as a kid. But
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: so this crunch, the crunch did not feel quite right.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: This sounded to me like the crunch of doom. So
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: my mind starts spinning. Here, my mind is wandering, right,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, did I just like, is a tooth? Did
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I just bite a tooth out of my mouth? Is
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: this is maybe they put a metal shard in the chili?
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm going through all this.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Right, and it was a finger in your fry?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Has my lunch become a crime scene or something like
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: that we need to get a CSI crew in here
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: or something like that. And my wife looks at me
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: across the table, and you know, like in my head,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, I'm like, I got my tongue,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of moving around my teeth throw all there.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I don't feel any chips or anything like that. I'm thinking, Oh,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: they must have put something in the chili. I'm going
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: to file a lawsuit, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: contact one of these ambulance chasing lawyers. And I'm I'm
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: kind of but I wanted to know what it was.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, looking examining the chili, I'm like searching
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: for Jimmy Hoffa there. And then and then the culprit emerged,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: and after my investigation, it was determined it was not
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: a rock. It was not a piece of metal. It
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: was not a filling. It was not a shard from
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: something in the kitchen. It was the cutlery that I
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: was using. It was the fork, stupid. It was the fork.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Not not just any fork. We're talking about one of
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: those black plastic forks. You know what I'm talking.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, this has happened to Brenda before at
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Panda express she had a fork that it broke and
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: she swallowed parting it.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I had bitten clean through this
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: utensil like it owed me money or something like that.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: A giant chunk was missing, gone, presumed in my stomach.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: And so not just the prong. It was an actual
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: piece of the fork.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: It was more than just a little piece. It was
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: a It was a pretty big chunk. And so I've
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: read articles about micro plastics, you know, in our guts
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: and all that, so micro being the operative work. This
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: was like a macro plastic, Danny. I swallowed this thing.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: So it was not This wasn't a molecule. This is
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: like a souvenir from the gift shop. And and so
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: in my brain, I've already I've already melted from all
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: the late nights doing radio and all that stuff. So
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I start spinning, and this is this is how my
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: mind wanders, Danny. So in my head, I'm like, wait
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: a minute, I just ate a large chunk of a
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: plastic fork. And so I'm thinking of all those Marvel stories,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: you know, the comic book stories of Marvel, And I'm like,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: if Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive Spider becomes
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Spider Man and Bruce Banner gets hit with gamma rays
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: and becomes the Hulk. Then what happens if I, you know,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I swallow a chunk of a plastic from a discount chili,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: you know, a fork at a chili restaurant? Do I
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: become plastic Man? Right? Do I stretch across the studio
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: console and grab grab my drink? You know, without standing up?
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I do? I melt in the sun because I made
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: out of plastic? Can I go on Coast to Coast?
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Because I can now ship, I can shape shift into
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: like a solo cup, and that way I can get
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: into those Dodger playoff games. I'm banned because the Dodger's
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: not room for me because of all the Japanese media.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: But if I could become plastic Man, I could shape shift.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I could also get a guest spot on Coast to Coast,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: And then I was thinking, I can go on vacation.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You know, if I'm plastic Man, Danny, I'll take a
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: pilgrimage to the Great Plastic You know that Pacific garbage
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: patch out in the ocean. Have you you've seen that, right?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: You know that big thing of plastic. That's like circling
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: around the ocean. That could be my vacation spot. Like,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: that could be my can coon. I could go out
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: there the mecca of the plastics, and I can I
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: can have a powwow with my people, other plastic people,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: and if I'm really plastic man, I was like, what
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: will my origin story be my local radio guy or
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: you know, syndicate a radio guy bites fork, swallows destiny
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: or whatever. So like all this was going through my
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: head and then the other thing was like is that
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: going to be painful coming out the other side. I
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: was thinking about that too. I was like, well, wait
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: a minute, here do I sell that maybe maybe ferg
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Dog would want to buy the piece of plastic if
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: it comes out. I was like, maybe I can put
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: it in it is like a Mallard of Militia action figure.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: You know, it could be like a sword, you know,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: something like that.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, pork on the way in, sword on the way out.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: And uh So, anyway, then I realized, well, I'll probably
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: just forget all about this and maybe I'll mention it
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: on the podcast and I'll go back to complaining about
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: quarterbacks on the overnight, and uh I guess I'll just
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: every time I use a plastic fork. Now I'm gonna
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: have PTSD, right, I'm gonna be like, oh no.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: You know, ben as utensil man. The kind of crime,
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: the kind of crime you could fight. We've talked on
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: the podcast before about how Rich Davis steals thirty forks, yes,
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: stacks of napkins every time he goes to Chipotle. You
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: could go to all these different restaurants and catch thieves
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: like Rich.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: That's a great idea, although I would feel bad because,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: as I've told the story, I was rich in the past,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: like I used when I was a bachelor. I had
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: a drawer of napkins that I gotten from restaurants. I
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: had a drawer of plastic forks. I had a drawer
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: of condiments. I had one drawer just for ketchup packets
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: from the restaurants. I had another drawer for like barbecue sauce,
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: because I love barbecue. Suck.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: It could be part of the origin story.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Put it in it. But make a movie. Yeah, comic book,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: we should do it. Somebody put that out.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: You used to be who you hate?
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I Yeah, that's there, you go. That's the storyboard right there,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: all right? We'll get out on that. Enjoy the baseball
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: game tonight. Are we suppose I have no skin in
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: the game. Are we supposed to pull for the Brewers
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: or the Cubs? I don't.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: I guess if we want home field advantage, then we
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: go for the Cubs.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: My thing is, Danny, I want to learn this by you.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: My position is that the Dodgers will have an easier
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: time with the Cubs than the Brewers like. The Brewers,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: to me, are the kind of team that the Dodgers
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: will have more trouble with because they got a lot
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: of pesky. You wouldn't know the last couple of days
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: in Chicago because you know, they were terrible. But the
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Brewers generally have a really pesky kind of team. That
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: to me, that's the kind of team that will give
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: them more problems. But you know, the way the Dodgers
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: are starting pitching is they're in really good shape. And
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: as long as they as I pointed out on the
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Friday podcast, as long as they avoid the actual real
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: relief pitchers and just use Rory Suzaki in the bullpen,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: they're good. So there you go, They've solved it. So
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: have a great rest of your Saturday. Remember the mail
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: bag is tomorrow. If you want to send a letter
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: into the mail bag, send it care of Real fits
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com. Don't forget Bennie versus the
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Penny streaming live on tape on YouTube week six, so
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you get all day today and tomorrow in the morning
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: before the afternoon game start. Forget about the lending game,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: but watch Benny versus De Penny on YouTube YouTube dot com,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: slash at Bennievspenny YouTube dot com slash at Bennievspenny, and
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: we'll do it all over again tomorrow later.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Skater Myopulation