Latest / Discomfort Required / You Failed, Now What? Why You Don't Get To Just Quit | Stacy Terry
Transcript
- Trent: so like how you look on camera right now. It looks like since you're wearing glasses It looks like one of those old disguises with fake nose in the fucking face Yes Yeah Yeah, it was it's from Stacy: Yeah. D V Cooper. I have millions of dollars. don't ask me I got it, but it was from skydiving. I'm a famous skydiver. Trent: sky in the famous sky never just so you know, alright guys, welcome to discomfort required today we're gonna be talking about What we do when we fail? got my good buddy Stacey on. Stacey Terry, we've been friends for years. He's kind of like my go-to for anything that I need in life when it comes to best friendship. He's also going to be the best man at my wedding, which I'm pretty excited about. I love this for us. Stacey, how are you, Stacy: I am I'm fantastic. I was ecstatic when you told me that I was gonna be your best man, which is like pouring over a speech is something that I'm not common or I'm not privy to. So like being like, these are the reasons why I love Trent in front of his Trent: These are the reasons. Stacy: wife, I guess at the time when I say that, she's gonna look at me like, Are you guys gay? Like a little bit. Trent: Hey, I told her like if, if, you know, I didn't get married or find somebody by the time I was 50, me and you were going to figure out how to make a throuple out of me, you and Sydney. I know, right? I mean, maybe have an office. Stacy: Absolutely. We have the room already available. I was kind of upset. Now I don't know what to do with it. Like I guess I can make it an office. Yeah. Trent: Alright Stacey, today we're going be talking about what we do when we fail. First off though, what does discomfort required mean to you? Stacy: Well, I will say listening to the other previous podcast, I think I have a unique perspective because I think I I might be uniquely qualified to be your fat friend is what I would call myself. Trent: Correct. Stacy: So if you don't know what Trent does in his off time, what he doesn't moonlight as, I mean, everyone's listening to your other podcast, so everyone knows kind of what you do and who you you your normal crowd is. But I think I am the the your other friend. The one who's like, no, I bring him around, he's super great, but he's not like the CrossFit dude, he's not in a PT, he's does other things. So my perspective of like discomfort required is more of like mental anguish. Putting yourself through, yes, there are times and I'm not saying doing anything physical isn't required to have a mental strain. But I Trent has known my background. I did I was a Air Force UAV pilot for a while. I did spy plane stuff, I was a flight engineer for a long time. I worked at American Airlines and now I work at Lockheed Martin's Skunk Works, which I'm super proud about and super jazz, but we'll get into that. But that Goal that will constantly put you in a position to figure out what you're made of is really what discomforts discomfort required is for me when it comes to attaining any goal. I hope that makes sense. I don't know. Trent: Yeah, for sure. And it's like, absolutely makes sense. so I've known Stacey since 2017. and he's been in college almost the entire time I've known him. he just graduated not that long ago. So like, him getting uncomfortable and being in college for a long ass time to get his bachelor's was, it was a whole thing. Yeah. Super proud, super, It's been really cool to see your trajectory and growth since then. Good word. Good word. We try. Stacy: Good word. Trent: know, I try to have good vocabs. Stacy: Yeah. You know, some people choose impact as word of the year, you using trajectory, I really like it. Trent: There we go trajectory, know, fuck that impact. We're gonna go for the for the path to the impact. Boom. But seeing you grind, you're really good at grinding. One thing about Stacey, when I first met him, we he decided that he wanted to do across the competition and I was going to be his partner for it. And when the man has a goal, he he grinds and grinds and grinds till that goal is done. So Stacey is having a little bit He's not having a little bit of a different season life. He just doesn't have like a fitness or a, you know, attainable physical goal that he's kind of like working towards. and, you know, that's very uncharacteristic for him, you know? So it's like seeing him grind for work. That's great. I love that. but you know, let's talk a little bit about Stacy: yeah. Trent: why you've, why that physical goal. Yeah. What's going on with Stacy: Fallen off your your said wagon? Yeah. Trent: that? Stacy: So it's been something that's been kind of really close to me that I don't share with a whole lot of people. But when I became a flight engineer in the Air Force, it was I think like within my first year. And the pilots would always say, If for those of you who don't know what a flight engineer does, if you've ever seen like a World War II movie, the moment the airplane catches fire, the pilots turn around and Start yelling at some dude behind them to go fix the fire and fix the plane. That's what a flight engineer is. So the first thing they always said is, hey engineer. And I absolutely fell in love with being a flight engineer. being the systems matter expert with airplanes just really leaned into my flavor of autism. So I hope that's acceptable. Hope hope your your viewership is is okay with me saying that. All respect to people who are autistic. I work with plenty of them. You can ask them. Trent: You know, you know, if it it offends him, you know, yeah. And, know, if people get offended, man, that's a them problem, not a you problem. You know, it's just what it is. Stacy: So I really, really liked it. And at that moment, it was, I mean, it was not too long after we met. I think it was 2016 when I decided this is what I want to do when I grow up. Like when I am no longer in the Air Force, I want to go work at Skunkworks as a test engineer for him. And I'm not kidding you, Trent. Thirteen years ago, that's what I set my eyes on. And I said, that's what I want to be. What do I gotta do to get there? And so when Trent's talking about how I've been in school for almost 10 years. Yeah, almost 10 years now. he's not wrong because I decided to try and teach myself physics while flying and having a family and all that. So in the roundabout way, this has been to get to this point has been a 13 year grind. And trying to sacrifice certain things in my life to get to this point has not been easy. Obviously, having a family, having a twelve year old now, a Nine ten year old. if he hears that he's gonna flip out. But a 10-year-old, Trent: You Stacy: my wife had a career, and me trying to go to school, being a dad, and flying all the time is like borderline impossible. Then I was doing everything I could to try and do. I ran the Air Force marathon. I was doing CrossFit competitions with you, trying to compete in wherever I could, triathlons and whatnot. But at a certain point I had to sacrifice something. And in the order of priorities, it just kinda fell towards my I wouldn't say my own health, but because I still work out when I can, but it isn't the highest priority anymore. That said, yes, you are right. I have fallen off in that time to compete. But now I'm like, Okay, now school's done and I've got my dream job. Literally I have my dream job that I've wanted for 13 years. So now I'm like starting to get settled in, because that was the big point right now, is getting settled in with my schedule, my current schedule on what the timeline is looking like, where we're going in the world. obviously working at Lockheed Martin's advanced developments, I can't talk to you about half of it here or any of it here. But no, yeah. I I Trent: Right. And in a visit all. Yeah. Stacy: can tell you that I work there and do this. But now I'm trying to figure out kind of my future schedule and then say, okay, now This is where I have time to to start that physical grinding and get back in shape, not quite be a fat piece of shit, just a piece of shit in general. Just that part. Trent: Yeah, there we go. You know? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I've helped Stacey train through all kinds of different sport and whatever whatever, you know, mission he is on at the moment. When it comes down to it, though, you didn't have to sacrifice for your health, right? Like that's not not necessarily a thing. It just it you just had to sacrifice something to make space for other things right like schools, schools. No joke. Stacey also moved to Texas solo and Stacy: Yeah. Trent: left the left the fam in North Dakota for a bit. Stacy: yeah. You betcha. Trent: Yeah, just to like get it you know, his foot in the door to make this thing happen. Right. So like, it's when he says that he sacrifices a lot of things a lot of things, a lot of people looking from the outside wouldn't realize like how much he sacrifices for his family for the long term, like benefit, right. And it's not always him making a sacrifice for his own well being. It's it's always for the team moving forward. That's always what it is. And he is Stacy: It's it's that little bit of discomfort's required, right? To get to where I wanna be. So whether it's a year away from my Trent: Yeah, for sure. it's. Stacy: family or whatever it is, but you gotta be uncomfortable to get to that goal or that dream. Name of the show on the podcast, point, right? Trent: And then getting people on board with that. Exactly. You to circle back to the name always. But like, you know, mean, it's just it's Stacy: yeah, sorry. Trent: it's uncomfortable for his family to write like there's plenty of times where, you know, Stacey would call me and he'd be upset that like, I haven't seen my family in forever. Or, you know, he hadn't seen his family in forever. And Sydney's mad at him that he hasn't seen his family forever. It's just what it is, And yeah, and it's it's tough, And missing the kids growing up and missing kids doing stuff. And it's really cool seeing how involved you are with all their sports and all that stuff. And we're going to get into that in just a little bit. But I mainly want to Stacy: Yeah. Yeah. Trent: talk about what it's like when we fail, Failing. There's a couple different ways to look at it. Failing can either be a humongous setback. could fuck up your headspace. and it could change your whole outlook on how you go about something, or you can take it as a learning lesson and make yourself better from it, So Stacy: Absolutely. Trent: what do we do when we fail? Stacy: first off, being super critical, I mean I I use this with a lot of people. So being a flight engineer has like a 60% attrition rate. It's it's a really high f washout rate in the Air Force, right? Not including anything else I did, but that was the one that was like the hardest school for me. trying to teach yourself a lot of aerodynamics, especially when you don't have the degree because it's an enlisted position. And you I can tell you I failed through it's a two year program before you're even allowed to go fly the aircraft by yourself. Right, before you're allowed to be a mission qualified engineer, you have two years of schooling. In a year and a half of that, you na yeah, about a little over a year, you're not even allowed to go touch the airplane. It's all like test taking. So you're sitting there and you're grinding and you're studying and you're studying. And I think I had failed with throughout the entire span of it with multi multiple tests. You failed two tests, you're done. They cut you from the program. I failed a test. I think I failed like three tests out of like the ten or twelve that were there. and some of them weren't my fault necessarily. like a performance check. Like you get trained to do something and it becomes like muscle memory, and then all of a sudden the thing happens, but there was like an extenuating circumstance that I didn't think of. And then they're like, Hey, you know, you didn't think of this when the aircraft started to depressurize, and because of that, you got out of your seat. Well, if the aircraft's depressurized depressurizing and you get out of your seat. Well, I I I could be sucked right out the aircraft with you. So you hooked your check right or you hooked that part. And then there was a time when I was going through pilot training. I was flying down at San Marcos and we were coming in for a landing and the winds, the crosswinds were just insane that day. And I f could not land, like legally could not land the airplane because the crosswinds so bad. And so my instructor was in the seat and we went around and he's like, All right, well, we're running out of time. And I was like, I can get try give it one more chance, but the winds aren't changing. He's Nope, just go back, or you're just gonna take an X for the day. And sure enough, like I I failed my ride because of winds. And so I think when it comes to like what do we do when we fail, I think there's a like a a negative connotation with with that word. Yes, no one wants to fail. I get that. But It needs to be there. It's a requirement. Failing is required. Like it should be like, what is it? Batteries required on the back of packages. Failing's required to be good at anything. Trent: Yeah, right. Stacy: And so it's it's that let's take a moment of reflection, figured out why. It was it me? Was it somebody else? We talked about during COVID. I had that morning meditations thing I was doing for a while. And Marcus Aurelius has this quote about a bird's eye view and looking from the top. So if something happens to you. You know, someone walks up and smacks you in the face before you get egotistical about it and say, Hey, what the hell? And start throwing fists. Think of it like, did I do something? What was my action? What role did I play that this happened? Right? Did they see something that I didn't, or you know, vice versa? And so it's one of those moments, let's take a step back. Is there something I did wrong? Is there something out of my control? Is there something absolutely within my control I could have done? Right? So, you know It's one of those things that we we kind of put a lot of emphasis on fail and we don't learn from it and expect it to happen. I'm not saying don't I guess don't accept it as a norm, but definitely don't become too critical. So what what do we do when we fail? First thing is don't be too critical and definitely not emotional. I I I'm teaching my kids this right now, but If you can the thing I tell them is if you can't control your emotions, someone will control them for you. And so if you fail and you start getting crybaby or you start like, my god, blah blah like someone will control you with those emotions. So don't get emotional. Definitely take a of a reflection period, be quiet and just let it play out and figure out what happened and how you can fix it, and then move forward. But The the my biggest thing is that negative that high emphasis on fail definitely needs to just be a little bit removed. Don't don't put so much Trent: Yeah. Stacy: pressure on yourself. Trent: No, I agree. And I think people tie losing to failing way too much, Stacy: Yeah. Trent: It's like, it's not necessarily about losing, If you fail, you fail. And hopefully you learn, Well, the way I look at it is, if you fail, that is just a stepping stone to change your action or behavior to, correct what you needed to correct and then move forward, It's really easy for people to just tie it to losing. And if they fail, they're, I give up, right? One of Stacy: Yeah. Trent: the things that, I mean, there's a few things that you can, that you are completely in control of. Your attitude being the number one, It is in your control how you respond to anything that happens, anything that you have done, anything that anybody else has done, just like you were saying if somebody walked up and punched you in the face, what did I have to do with that? What did I do Stacy: Yeah. Trent: to cause this? Is it a me problem or a them problem? When it comes down to looking at it from an outside perspective like that, when you kind of compartmentalize it, it's like, did I do this? No? well. Like, if it's not a me problem, then I don't need to necessarily worry about it. When it comes Stacy: Absolutely. Trent: to failing, we'll talk about, we'll get like, for instance, if I fail a snatch or a clean, right, it is a opportunity to lift again. Stacy: Mm-hmm. Trent: fix my positions, any one of those things. There's people Stacy: Yeah, absolutely. Trent: that I have seen in the gym that have missed a clean and taken off their weight belt and thrown across the room like a child when they are 50 years old. Five zero. Stacy: I thought you were gonna say That's what mean. And that's what I mean, like. Trent: Five zero and then take off a shoe and then throw it Who fucking does that stacy? Fuck that shoe. Yeah, fuck that shoe. Stacy: That's a heavy shoe depending on that shoot. What are those lifters? Dude that's Trent: Yeah, fuck this thing Who does that though? Right? Stacy: Like, hey. Yeah. I gotta fix that wall, asshole. You don't throw that away. You fix it. Trent: You know what I mean? Don't fucking throw it at the wall, dick. Stacy: yeah, that's what I mean. Like controlling your emotions so others don't control you is mind blowing. Cause you're never going to be successful if you can't control your emotions. Ever. Cause it's I mean, I know me personally, I pride myself on getting people riled up. Like I will if I know I can say something that gets you, I'm gonna say it ten out of ten times. Like, absolutely you see my dog? She's even like, Trent: Mm-hmm. 11 out of 10 times. Yeah. Stacy: What's daddy, what are you yelling at? Like, we're gonna have a conversation. dude, you know Trent: Yeah, like, come on, I'm Wait, you talking to me? Stacy: Yeah, right. She's like, what's wrong with you? you know, and it's funny, I was I was listening again to to Shane talk about it today. And I know that you're on your own spiritual journey and stuff like that. So there's something though, and I I teach my family and I, as you know, are are we Catholic and we're actively practicing, but there's a there's a part that I like to explain, and I know your comment this is gonna blow your comment section up and be like, sacrilege, but When you look at the Bible, just talk about New Testament, right? There is a specific saint, Saint Peter. We're gonna use him. If you count how many times he lost faith in Jesus or did something against it, against him, right? Seven times, roughly. There's in the boat, twice, where he's going. where like the one where the storm comes and he has to wake Jesus up. Mind you, Peter was a fisherman his whole life in the Sea of Galilee, and all of a sudden he'd like this storm's coming. And I'm so terrified. I need to wake up, who apparently is our Lord and Savior to save me, right? Then he's walking on water, and Jesus tells Peter, get out of the boat. This dude is staring Jesus in the face. And would you go lay down? Stable, go lay down. She is really needing something. But Peter's looking Jesus in the face, and he still sings because he loses faith, right? Then he denies him three times. Then after that, he hides in a room. Like he constantly is denied God, right? That is like failure on the highest level. You're looking your creator in the face and you can't do this. Right? And I'm like my screen's shaking. I'm getting intense about this. But you know what's funny is years later, he learns, right? Peter Peter learns. And today, on the capital of the country that crucified Jesus, right? That's where the Pope has his church and where he teaches, right? Do you know what the name of that, you know what the name of the Pope's church is? St. Peter's Bas Trent: St. Peter's Cathedral. Stacy: St. Peter's Basilica inside St. Peter's Square. And I'm like, Trent: Okay. Yeah. Stacy: if you want to be successful, you're gonna fail. Like even the Bible talks about it, right? You're gonna fail. But don't let your minor moments of failure dictate you having a cathedral named after you and being like having roadmaps named after you. Like it's gonna happen. Just take time. So I tell my kids, give yourself some grace if you fail. You're gonna do it. Everyone did it. Trent: So what do you think for a mindset shift, Stacy: Sorry. Trent: do you think that if you're gonna give somebody advice to fix how they look at failure, how would you go about it? Stacy: Of all right, so sorry, let me how would Trent: Strictly a mindset perspective. Strictly mindset. Stacy: I tell someone mindset if l hold on. Let me rephrase let me rephrase the question. Sorry, it's so it's how would I tell give advice to someone who needs a mindset shift to approach failure? Is that Trent: So if somebody doesn't take failure well, right? Stacy: Uh-huh. Trent: How would you explain to them to shift their mindset for like the easiest, quickest fixed? Stacy: Yeah. Just get over it, man. Trent: Get over it. Why you being a bitch? Stacy: I mean, some that's honestly that is my only I mean when someone's having a a moment like that, right? It's really just that. Get over it. It's it's it it is what it is. Is there anything you can do about it now? It's over, right? Now we need that reflecting period. We need to remove our emotions, we need that reflecting period, and then you need to move forward. So my advice, and I I do give this to s a lot of my students that I have as flight engineers or or pilots or even the some of the people I work with who are under me. Who get emotional because they're like they can't figure out a problem at work. Right. And or they're, I mean, even in the gym when they're like failing, or my kids who are like failing their running events or baseball, or even when we were lifting together, it's like, I can't do this lift. And I'm like, maybe you just need a nap. Like Get over it. That's why I say like the bet Yeah. I I really Trent: more pre-workout. Stacy: do approach it like that. It's that and I know I could hear everyone in your comments again saying like it's not that simple. And I'm like, it kind of is. Just get over it. Like it is a common if you are 50 years old ripping your belt off, throwing a shoe, you clearly can't get over it. Just get over it. And like huh? Yeah. That Trent: Right. That's an ego problem. That is a fucking ego problem. Ego. the, like, to the nth degree. Stacy: Yeah, remove yourself from the situation and let it go. Like, I I don't I and I wish I could give you a bigger answer, but I really think it just boils down to that. Don't don't think yourself so highly. And I mean, there are times where you should think so highly of yourself, but just let it go. Get over it and move on. Otherwise that mentality that you approached it with before is now gonna be tarnished. And I say that because there are those times where yes, you need to be the center of what you're doing. You need to have the utmost confidence in yourself, right? I tell my kids all the time, fighter pilots, I hated I hated working with fighter pilots all the time. Because they're never wrong. Ever, ever wrong. Even when you prove them wrong, they're never wrong. And so, Trent: Really? Stacy: all the time, dude. You can prove them wrong and they're like, Well, let me tell you it's over here, and then when we do it this way, and I'm like, my god, okay, I get it. But It's you need to have that same mindset and that same at that same thought process of like, even when I'm wrong, you're not gonna tell me I'm wrong. Cause I'm gonna get it, I'm gonna get after it again, and we're gonna win. And that's the idea you want, right? Like, how many fighters, like actual fighters, boxers, MMA fighters, they get their face busted in? And then what, three months later, they're like, Hey, I'm gonna go fight on the White House lawn. I don't know why I keep going to a Boston accent, Trent: Yeah. Stacy: but that's what I'm doing these days. Trent: It's like, you know what I want? To get Stacy: But you're like, how? Trent: punched in the face again. Stacy: Yeah, Connor McGregor, come punch me in the face. Right. Trent: Yeah, right? Sounds awful. Stacy: And so it's that mentality. Like, yes, there is a certain amount of confidence you need to have to be able to reapproach something you failed at. But let it go so you can approach it with that same confidence. Cause if you don't, you're gonna have that voice in the back of your head being like, You remember last time? You kind of fucking sucked at it. You know? Trent: Yeah, for sure. Stacy: Remember the last time you tried to snatch and you blew your shoulder out and four years later you had surgery and I'm gonna t tell you this whole life story that I have built in my head about a time that I did no, I'm just kidding. But Trent: about this time that I did this thing that never happened. Stacy: Yeah, I could I could tell you yeah. Pop what we we were doing box jumps and I popped my my calf muscle or busted my shoulder. Yeah, but it's that like I still out here I'm still out here having fun. Even if I rip you know, if I break something else, it's gonna be a great time. I'm gonna love it. Trent: Do you want to tell them how you strained your calf muscle doing a pull up? Stacy: yeah, that was thirty pounds ago. That was that was actually the time when, you know, I joke with everyone, like I'm a trans fat friend. I think I was in North Dakota where drinking is a necessity. And I know everyone again comments like drinking's never a necessity. It's so cold there you drink to stay warm. Just saying. But y I yeah, I was drinking a lot because it was cold. Trent: All the time. Stacy: Wink wink for those of you not watching. but I think I was like two thirty, two thirty five and I was doing pull ups and I just let go and the way my foot hit I just felt like a massive pop in my calf and it was not fun and apparently I had a minor tear in my calf for a while and that was the moment I was like, You need to stop eating so much. Trent: Yeah, for sure. It happens to the best of us. Stacy: But yeah, just doing dumb things like that. absolutely. But that didn't stop me from anything else. I'm still reaching out and being like, Okay, now it's time to get back in it. Like I'm I'm l I've lost weight. I need to get back into the gym. I need to start doing some I need to start finding that goal that we talked about at the beginning of the episode, like some sort of physical goal. So and I'm also tired of having my twelve year old beat me around the neighborhood. Just saying No, just Just Trent: at stuff. All the things. Like riding it. You're in a golf cart chasing Arthur down. Stacy: tha that'll be later in the episode. But yeah, I I'm not chasing Trent: You Stacy: him down, but I absolutely am sitting there like pick it up. Go faster. Trent: Yeah, go faster. Go faster. Okay, so we're gonna get into your kids. So Arthur, killing it running. Jamison, killing it at baseball. Okay, Stacy: Yes. Trent: how has your mentality, how have you helped your kids through their sports adventures? Right? Because your mentality, like you said, is a lot different than most people's. It's, Stacy: Yeah. Trent: we're gonna get this done. You know, if we suck, we suck, we're to suck until we don't suck anymore. Right. So how have you kind of helped your kids along with that? Stacy: a lot of it with my kids, I t I use like a a more technical mindset, right? So when we're running, I'll show videos of themselves. I'm like, let's break down why this isn't working. I think a lot of it also comes from being an athlete prior. So I know a lot of the people you've talked to, and I'm sure a lot of people at the that at your are your athletes, excuse me, at some point in their youth they played competitively. I don't mean wreck. I don't mean like, we're participation trophies, run wild. No, I mean like at some point Trent: Hmm. Stacy: they would have been the best at what they did at their respective sport, right? So first off, I think having that background helped. I played junior Olympic soccer for a while for or Olympic development program is what it was called back then. and so I have that mentality of like, I'm gonna rip your throat out, regardless if you're my best friend, if you're on the other team. Trent: Right. That's what it is. Yeah. Stacy: Just this is what I'm gonna do. And there's nothing I can do about it. Cause the moment I step on the field, like I am I am a different person. I am not there to be your friend. I am there to break your ankles and score goals. That's what my job is. Right. And so when it comes to teaching my kids about these, like this discomfort, dude, I the other day and it was it was funny. Arthur was struggling and he was like, I don't know. He came up and he's like, He first off, my son, fantastic runner. he's down in Houston right now running the regionals. he qualified today in both the four by eight hundred and the three thousand for nationals. So for the for those listening, he's going to be going to California at the end of the month for the National Junior Olympics for running. But there was Trent: Super proud. Stacy: a day, you know, you were talking to man, I can't remember her name. The you had her on and she's sailing, she's your sailor, your sailor friend. Trent: Yeah, Hannah. Stacy: Hannah, yep, your pirate friend. That's what I referred to her at. I'm like the pirate, the pirate girl. She lives on a boat. That's that's all you need. And sh she sounds very, very Trent: The pirate friend. Yeah. Stacy: tough. but it's like you don't get that luxury to quit, right? She was she made the comment, she was like, Well, if you're on land, you could just go take a break, go to the gym, go do things to get your like, but when you're on a boat, you don't get that option. You no longer have that option to quit, right? So I approach most things with that mentality. You don't, I don't, I don't get an option to quit. You don't get an option to quit. No one here gets to quit at life. And if you do, that's a whole different conversation that we could talk about down the road. But no, my you're not going to get that luxury. You don't get to quit. And so there was a time when Arthur was just struggling. He just couldn't figure out how to run faster. And so I told him, I was like, first off, you need a you need a friend. You need someone who you can talk to. Right now it's kind of me. Because none of his friends run like he does. So we talk through it and we're like, okay, let me take a video of you and we're gonna look at the mechanics of your running. We're gonna look at your gait. We're gonna look at your stride. We're gonna look at your lean. We're gonna look at everything. And with between your coaches and me, we're gonna get you going. But you don't have that luxury to quit. And one day he came home, Trent. It was probably my most diabolical thing. I was so proud of myself. But he was like, Dad, I'm just you know, I'm not feeling it. And I was like Congratulations, you now get to run until you don't want to quit anymore. And he was like, What does that mean? And I was like, We're gonna find out, buddy. And so he knows shit. He like we did sprints. And mind you, for most people, like that's child abuse. I'm like, my it's not because my son can run seven miles in like an hour and two minutes just for fun without headphones because he's a borderline psychopath. So when I say Trent: Yeah. Yeah. Stacy: you're gonna go for a run, like when he has a bad day, he's like, Dad, I'm going for a run, and he just goes for a run. But I told him I was like, you don't get this, you don't get this option. You're not quitting, and I'm gonna run the quit out of you. And so we did sprints and sprints and sprints until I showed him his PRs that he was getting with each run. And I was like, look at what you can accomplish. So that mindset of like, I can't do this. We're gonna run it until you no longer believe you can't do this anymore. And then he started to accomplish it. And now you're seeing, like I was telling you, he's running 3,000 meter in like 1140. Eleven minutes forty seconds. He runs he's twelve years old, can he runs sub twelve minute two miles. Like he runs a sub six minute mile. And he runs ten Ks, like I say, f for fun. So I just told him I was like, You're not getting that luxury. You don't get the luxury to quit. And so that's one thing I'm imposing on him. With Jameson, my youngest with baseball Anyone who wants to know what failure is like, I've learned baseball is it. That is a game of who can fail less to win. Like that's that's really it. Like which team can Trent: Nice. Yeah, this is what it is. Stacy: fail not as quite as much. and I know all the baseball fans are gonna be like, yeah, I believe that. But it is. Trent: Yeah, yeah, totally. Stacy: You can you can take your hockey, okay? And it's about who's better. But baseball is all about like who cannot suck as bad. but Trent: For sure, for sure. Stacy: But for him, it's like he's a stud catcher. He was invited to go play on a national youth national team this last season. and every team that meets him is like, we want him as our catcher. Absolutely phenomenal stud. For those of you we'll talk at the end, if you want to follow him and and see what he's about, by all means. But there was a time where his hitting was just dude couldn't hit the ball. Come to find out, he was just catching so much, and he's n at the time nine. He Could not physically see the ball because he was just tired. He's like, I need to play a different position for like one inning and I'll be good. Back to it, right? So we just that's that approach of okay, let's take a step back. Let's look at all the factors. Let's not get emotional. And trust me, dealing with a 12 year old is Chef's kiss of emotion right now. I forgot what it was like to go through puberty. But Trent: Yeah. Stacy: so it's like, let's approach, Trent: just nightmare. Stacy: yo, man. The things I could say that cannot be recorded. Trent: Fair. Stacy: but yeah, it's it's that. It's just that you're not allowed to quit. No matter what. You can be uncomfortable all you want. But I mean, you've talked about on this podcast plenty of times, and I want to hear, I wanna don't want to just ramble, but I mean, how many times have you felt like quitting and you're just like, I'm going to keep doing this until right? Whatever it is. How many times have you hit Trent: Dude, yeah. Stacy: that where you're just like We're just gonna do it again and again. Trent: It's It's just it's a thing like, man, I've wanted to quit everything I've ever done. You know what I mean? But I like I Stacy: Man. Yeah. Trent: don't I just know like all I know how to do is just work hard. Right? am I the smartest person in the room? No. Am I smart? Sure. You know what I mean? Stacy: Matter f matter of fact, you're too dumb to quit. Trent: Like exactly. Exactly. That's where I was going. like, no matter what it is, if I suck at something, I will I will be good at it. I don't care what it takes. I don't care how much pain I have to go through. I don't care what mental anguish blah blah blah blah. Right. So it's like this new adventure into tactical games like can I shoot guns? Well, yes. Can I do strongman fitness? Yes. Putting them together is that extremely hard. Holy fucking shit. Am I going to continue to do this until I'm good at it? Yes. Did it did I have to bust my ass to be good at CrossFit? Yes. I'm pretty fortunate that I am. athletic, right? When it comes to certain things, I have to work a little bit less hard than your average person, Gymnastically, Stacy: Absolutely. Yeah. Trent: that big of a deal. Lifting heavy weights, I am lighter than most people, but I can lift for my power output. It's pretty fucking good, right? But it's Stacy: Hashtag babywaits. Trent: hashtag baby. you see my tattoo on my quad. It's pretty great. I'll put a clip of it. Stacy: Yeah. Link in the bio. Trent: But, you know, link link in bio right there. it Stacy: Link of Sorry, I love saying that. Trent: saves as many times as need to get it out of your system. Stacy: I'm gonna say it till I don't wanna I'm gonna say it till I wanna quit. Sorry. Sorry, but you're right. Yeah, sorry. But you you do have Trent: Yes, I want to never say this again, you know, but it. Stacy: natural skills that you don't have to necessarily train for. That's where you're going with that. Sorry. Trent: Right. So anything is just like growing up man. I couldn't quit. Right. Like I you know it was a rough time. You know it. People can look at it from the outside like it was so not no fucking wasn't. It was there was some good parts. There's Stacy: Yeah. You weren't there. Trent: a lot lots of lots of bad parts. And it's like Stacy: Yeah. Trent: I didn't have like there was no quit. It just you just do you get shit done. That's just how it goes. And I think that mentality goes a lot further than what's happening nowadays, it's kind of sad seeing people quit and give up so easy, right? They fail once and they're like, I'm not doing this anymore. Or, you know, they take it as a loss. And I think that more people should stick it out and learn how to grind and learn some grit. like, you know, was it terrible that, you know, our parents are like, if we got hurt, they're like, rubs and dirt and you'll be fine. For sure. Did that cause trauma? Probably, you know, but at the same time, you know, get get in it. You know, you you need to build some grit. That's the only way you're going to get through life. Right. Like because life is going Stacy: Absolutely. Trent: to swing. Life is going to swing and it's going to swing hard. And how you respond to that is going to be how what your life, you know, becomes, you know, and if you are Stacy: Absolutely. Trent: if you're not taking punches well and you turn 30 years old and life really digs in, what are you going to do? Just crumple. That it. You know, like what's the point of that? That's not the way to go about it, right? Stacy: Yeah. And that's what I mean. Like you're not allowed to quit. Like at life. That's not how this works. You don't you don't Trent: Yeah. No. Stacy: get that option. And so that approach towards like the well, I got uncomfortable or this didn't work out, and then finding reasons and excuses. There's a couple people Trent: Mmm. A slap a hoe. Stacy: I work with and even teaching my kids it, right? I'm always like, there's always a reason, isn't there? There's always a reason. Like if I say, why didn't this work out? And they're like, well, because if I hear that, well, because I'm always like, there's always a reason, isn't there? Like, not just Trent: and Stacy: to because I couldn't make it, or like, because I checked out today's, you know, like today's run, for example, that I was talking to you about. I was like, just checked out. Is that what happened? And he was like, yes. And I was like, well, absolutely can't have this happen again. But at least there's no one else to blame. You are in that seat. Trent: Mm hmm. Well, and he's and he's Stacy: You're driving, and so Trent: and he's owning it too. Like that's a pretty good thing. He's like, Yeah, hey, I Stacy: Yeah, absolutely. Trent: checked out I don't I didn't didn't blame it on anybody else. He didn't blame it on being sad or, you know, oh, my legs are tired. He's like, Nope, I just checked out. You know, I don't know. Tell you Stacy: Yeah. And so you're like, Well, I appreciate that. While I appreciate that, you better fix this then. Like this is now, you know, this is this cannot happen again. So how do we move forward? Take that reflection period, move on. But yeah, dude, the resistance from you know, when we were kids and growing up and and the whole rub dirt on it, drink out of the w drink out of the hose, you're not allowed to come back in the house, kind of a thing. Trent: Hmm? Hmm? Stacy: Yeah, it it it made us who we were, but there is this weird soft parenting that I'm I mean, I'm not a huge fan of. I don't have I don't hang out with many people that do soft parenting. But Trent: No, it's not. Stacy: you can tell. You can always tell too. You're like, me and Sydney. All right, here we go. There are times that Sydney, mind anyone who's listening, was she's retired Air Force as well. So we're both in the military. And there are times where we see other people's kids, and I mean, dude, I'll do it for you. Here it is, right here. And we're just like, where are your Yeah, where are your Trent: Stacey does that when he's mad. Stacy: Where are your parents? And then they'll point and I'm like, Good, where are their parents? That's who I'd like to meet. 'Cause this is a clearly a problem. Yeah. Trent: Yeah. Yeah, that's who I'd like to talk to. Yeah, this is generational. What is happening? All right. Stacy: Th this is yeah, we're like who taught you man, who it drives me nuts. So the whole soft parenting thing, not not a fan of, but sorry, we'll continue. Trent: You're good. So walk me through what happens when you fail. Stacy: God. lots of crying. wanna quit. Trent: Yeah. Rolling around on the ground. Somebody Stacy: Yeah. Trent: help me! Stacy: N there is actually it's kinda goes back to my soccer days where if I fail depending on the situation, right? yeah, it really depends, man, on the the situation on or the the the reason as to why it failed. If it was the flying thing like I was telling you about, where it's like crosswinds are out of limits, d there's nothing I can do, right? Trent: Mm. Stacy: but if it's something that I absolutely did, I I I'll get reclusive for a minute because that's my reflective period, right? Where it's like Let me replay it in my head. And for again, going back to anyone who is a competitive athlete, when you fail, there's that moment in your head where you replay the whole game or you replay the scenario over and over and you're trying to envision it from different angles. It's like that Robert Downey Jr. when he played Sherlock Holmes and he like plays it all out in his head. That's kind of what I'll do. In a sense of like, okay, what happened? Where'd it go wrong? So then when it when it happens again, because you know if you fail and you reapproach something, it's going to happen again. Right. So how do you approach it if you don't know what you did wrong the first time? So that's how I'll I'll approach it. Now, I think that there also needs to be a little bit of tack, and I'm I'm leading into a story that I know that you love. And it actually is my tattoo. The sprinkled. where is it? There it is. Kind of. Trent: Nice. Yeah. There it is. There it is. Stacy: s it's a little little skull ice cream and at the bottom it says sprinkles are for winners. So that that story I was telling where we were flying and the winds rattle in it. Pilot training was in in in IPT, initial pilot training, it was hard. It's a washout program. Like if you can't hack it, you're they're gonna make you quit. That is literal the design of the program is to make you quit. People quit all the time, not a big deal. But there was a table of me and my pilot buddies, and this is the softest thing you're ever gonna hear me say about the Air Force, I promise. But where we were eating, and I can I can hear it now, and I loved bragging about it. They had a free ice cream machine inside the chow hall. Yeah. And so we would get like after a long day of flying, it's Colorado in the summer, it's hot, like you're in altitude, it's miserable. And so you come back and your like flight suits dark green because you've been sweating so much. And so we would all get ice cream. Well then we were like, hey, for the group of friends, if you failed your ride, no ice cream for you. Right. Trent: Mm. Stacy: And so this way, one, we could see who at the table had a good day or good flight, and we could see who didn't. Well then, me and a buddy of mine, we we hooked our rides. And I was like, Man, fuck that. I want some fucking ice cream. I'm having a bad day. What the Trent: Mm-hmm. Stacy: What doesn't make a day better that's not ice cream? Like that's what I want. So we ended up Yeah, I had a bad day. I want some ice cream. That's how this works. So Trent: You Stacy: we ended up ended up getting ice cream and the guy was like, dude, I thought you had I thought you hooked your ride. Why do you why are you getting ice cream? And I like, 'cause I want fucking ice cream, man. But Trent: Yeah. Stacy: we changed the rule at that point. They're like Sorry, I'm laughing. You've heard this story, but I'm sharing it for everybody else. there was the c like a condiment bar for your ice cream. And we like chocolate. Softest thing. Welcome to the Air Force. We have free ice cream machines. This is go down to your local Air Force recruiter's office. Tell them you want free ice cream. Trent: Free ice cream machines with condiments. Stacy: So they had like, you know, chocolate chippies and everything else, right? Trent: Damn it. Stacy: but we all agreed, we're like, okay, fine, you can have ice cream. Because if you have a bad day, who doesn't want ice cream? But you couldn't put sprinkles on it if you didn't have a good day. So from that point Trent: Mm-hmm. Stacy: forward, we said sprinkles are for winners. And that's so it kind of was from that per I think progressive commercial. But we were like, yeah, no, spr sprinkles are for winners. You you don't win, you don't get you don't get sprinkles. So now, you know, I Trent: Yeah. That's what it is. You don't get sprinkles. Stacy: d I I tell my kids that too. I'm like, sprinkles are for winners. You don't get that. So so to your original question of like how do I deal with it or when I fail, what do I do? That's that rec reclusivity. If I win, I get ice cream. If I lose, I'm not gonna withhold myself necessarily from certain things that would put me in a better mood. But there also is a part of discipline that is like, I'm not going to accept the failure. Like that is not the end all be all. That is not who I am. That's not going to be what identifies me. So I'm going to reflect on it. I'm going to have my ice cream. And I'm going to redo it again. I'm not going to get sprinkles this time, but next time I'm going to get sprinkles. And I'm going, whether it's doing whatever, if it's like, I gotta break your knees to make this lift. Right? You know, what is it? Empty Laudit. Make the lift or die trying. Trent: Empty lot and make the lifter die trying. Stacy: You know, like I'm about lauded. Yeah. Throwback. Bet you bet you thought I forgot. Yeah, but Trent: Yeah. Throwback. Stacy: you know, make the lift or dry trying. I'm you know what? I might die trying today because and I'm not gonna get those sprinkles. But tomorrow Trent: Mm. Right. Stacy: I'm gonna make the lift and I'm gonna get those fucking sprinkles, dog. So that's kinda how I approach it. Trent: There it is. Yeah. So let's let's talk. Stacy: Sorry. Trent: Yeah. Let's talk about discipline a little bit. Right. So when it comes to. Failing. What is your most recent failure? Stacy: My most recent failure. It's it'd take me a second. Cause I've been Trent: We'll come back to that. Stacy: I say that not not not saying like I can't think of one or I'm like perfect. I've just been more selective. I you know, getting older. I've learned how to move through what I need to do to get to where I'm going. Trent: Right. Stacy: Yeah, actually here. My most recent failure, which is trying to be faster than my kid in a mile, has been my my Trent: Okay. Stacy: my absolute fail right now. And mind you, Arthur's getting faster, and I am not. But Arthur can run a sub five minute mile, and I'm like, my new goal is to beat my kid in a one mile race. And I absolutely can't. Trent: Okay. Right. Stacy: and so that that has been my my pain of like I'm getting older. Right. I'm not nearly as fast as I used to be. I can absolutely sprint faster than him. but that is that has been my most recent failure of like my New Year's resolution was to beat him in a mile and I couldn't beat him in a mile. Trent: Okay, so what are you doing about it? Stacy: I'm quitting dog. I'm giving up. I got a golf cart. That's how I beat him. Trent: That's what's up. I beat him in a mile, that's for sure. Stacy: no, I I I'm taking my win, and I know this sounds terrible of like you're quitting. I'm not quitting because it turned into a year two project, right? And I went from like a 9 30 pace to where I'm down to like an eight minute mile right now, which I'm super happy about. It's been a long time Trent: That's a big deal. Stacy: since I've been able to yeah. so my goal is to still try and beat him. But I've now it's something I share with with my y with Jameson right now. So when Jameson approaches a baseball game, and I know I got a story for everything, and I'm sorry about that. If you're okay with that. All right. I just don't want to ramble on your podcast. It's the mustache. It makes me Trent: Don't be sorry, dude, just go. This what we're here for. No, this is what we're here for. Stacy: like more like a dad. You know, I'm like dad everybody. yeah. Trent: Get a cup, hold it like this. Stacy: I don't I need to get a cup. I might have to go grab one. Trent: Lost it. Stacy: I know. So when Jameson goes and approaches baseball, because like I told you, it's a game of failures, right? So every game to Jamison, there's a game within it. Okay. And I say that because like his he has a goal every single game within the game. So last week he's like, okay, I want to hit two doubles and when I'm catch if I'm catching, I wanna get two put outs. I wanna throw a dude down or get him at third. If I'm pitching, I want to pitch a per at least one perfect inning. And if I'm fielding, I want three times, two to three times where I've attacked the ball, like I've moved forward, received it, and thrown it to first. Those are those are his three goals. And I'm sure you've heard the term smart goals. Sizable, Trent: Got it. Yeah. Stacy: measurable, attainable, my gosh, it's Trent: Repeatable. Stacy: realistic and timely. Timely. Right. So huh, relatable. Okay, sorry. Trent: repeatable. Stacy: Repeatable. Repeatable? Is it repeatable? I thought it was realistic. I don't know. It the R doesn't matter. It's a smart goal. Trent: Is it real? Maybe it's realistic. Who fucking knows? It's a smart, smart goat. What is with you and this boss bullshit? Where does this come from? Stacy: But it's I don't know, man. It's the voice of the day. I don't really I don't know. We'll come back to that. Maybe it'll come to me. Trent: Yeah, we'll come back to that. Stacy: We'll come back to that. Put a pen in it. but he does that. So I kind of am approaching this running to that, right? Did I fail? Absolutely. It's not a goal that's going away, but maybe that that is gonna be unattainable. Right? Maybe catching my twelve year old because he's getting faster and I'm not. Maybe that's something I won't be able to accomplish. I'm sorry I'm boring you with your yawns. But maybe that's something that I need to reflect on, right? Is this goal or is it is it unattainable? Like is this something that Trent: Hmm. Stacy: I have set for myself too high of a mountain? And Trent: Mm-hmm. Stacy: I'm saying that like I'm sure Trent, you're like, Okay, t your goal for this year is to go race Usain Bolt. You're like, No, not happening. Trent: No, that's not the thing. It's not Stacy: So Trent: the thing. Stacy: that's my approach is like I'm not emotional. I mean, I'm a little mad because my 12 year old can beat me. My at the time eleven year old could beat me. But maybe I need to do that reflection period on my goal and think, is this, is this something that I can dedicate my time to? The appropriate amount of time. Not just like, I'm quitting because I'm what is it you guys said, do I want it or do I want to want it? That was that was a very good line. I was like, I need that. Trent: Thanks. Stacy: Like, is this something I want to want, or is this something I want? Or is this even something I can do? Right? So that's the approach of my fail currently is like beating my my kid who could run a sub five minute mile in a race may not be something I'm able to do. But can I help him get faster in certain aspects? And I say that like sprinting. He can run forever, but he's not as quick. So now my current goals are beating him in sprints when we do speed training. So that is kind of where I'm at right now. I'm still trying to get faster than him on the off time. Don't let him know that. But when we're training, Trent: Don't let him know that. Stacy: yeah, no, I'm just trying to catch him. But like that's what it is, is being able to beat him at least eight times. Right now it's ten out of ten. But in those sprinting times. So when we're doing Just sprints, I beat him every time. Is my current goal right now is until the day that I can't, because he's gonna beat me in a hype. But that's it. It's just that approach. When I fail, just looking back on those that smart idea. Is this something that I can do? Am I giving it the appropriate time? Is it like is it realistic or repeatable? Whatever one you want to say. Right? And how can I how can I do that? Trent: think reassessment is something that should happen regardless, right? So like, even if you have a goal, right, like, reassessing your goal should always be something that you constantly do, right? So like, when you were training for, like when you started training for not an Iron Man for a triathlon, right? Stacy: Yeah. Trent: Like reassessing it, like, do I have the time to dedicate to this? Do I have the will Stacy: Yeah. Trent: to dedicate to this? Do I have the mental capacity to to dedicate to this, you know, because, you know, life, family, obligations, work, school, bandwidth that you have to give, and then physically, like, do you have all of these things? And I think it is not a failure or a loss or anything along those lines or, or quitting when it comes to reassessing the goals that you set for yourself. Stacy: Absolutely. Trent: I So me and tags, we competed a shit ton last year. I burned myself out completely. I didn't like no injuries, no nothing, you know, crazy like that, but like I completely burned myself out on wanting to do crossword or wanting to compete or anything like that. And I Stacy: Yeah. Trent: turned out it made me not even want to work out, which, know, it is what it is. Having a new goal and a new something to fucking do is great for my brain, right? Because I'm not Stacy: Yeah. Yeah. Trent: doing the same thing over and over and over again. And it's like, I've been doing Stacy: Right. Trent: crossword for a long time. I. get burned out when I'm in it too much. I'm not like other people that can just be in it forever. Like it just, I Stacy: Yeah. Trent: got, I'm like that I've, I've reached my end, right? Stacy: I need a different flavor. Trent: Right. And you know, my reassessing my goals was probably one of the best things that I've done, right? Cause it got me back Stacy: Yeah. Trent: in the gym. It got me working out again. I'm not like, I'm not just fucking getting fat. Thank God. Right. So it's like that, that's a problem. You know what I mean? That's not what I want. That's awful. And Stacy: Y that's that's a real, real problem, yeah. Trent: It is a problem, you know, and it's like, I want to not say no to cookies because I like cookies. You know what I mean? So I need I need to do some fitness. But but it. Stacy: Yeah, ext See, sometimes they gotta be a big back. Trent: Yes, sometimes just have to be. Stacy: I got big back pro I got big back tendencies, dog. Trent: That's what it is. That's what it is. But like reassessing man, it plans change. People change. Mindset changes. You could look at a path that even Arthur could look at a path. He's like, I in four years, I want to do X, Y and Z with running. Stacy: Yeah. Trent: In two years, he could pick up lacrosse and be like, this is the best sport I've ever done in my entire life. I get to run with a stick. You know what I mean? And it's like. Stacy: Yeah. Absolutely. Trent: It could be anything like that when it comes to like careers and things you could have changed paths six or seven times You could have been just a pilot. You know what I mean? But you Stacy: I did. Dude. I did change pads like six or seven times. Yeah, absolutely. Trent: still like you for 13 years you worked to getting your dream job, right? Like you could have you could have been like you could be flying fucking 777s right now if you wanted to Stacy: I I mean yeah, absolutely. And it's it's Trent: You alright? Stacy: that yeah, it can you hear me? Sorry, did I? okay. I Trent: Yeah, you're there. Stacy: thought you were like, okay, sorry. You're a hundred percent right. And and Trent: I'm just looking at you. Stacy: I don't I I sometimes I just stare at you two. Trent: Yeah. Stacy: I you're a hundred percent right. I don't think sometimes that that quitting or changing a direction is a failure or even that idea of quitting, you're like, no, I just quit this. It's that reflecting reflecting period of like, did you at least give it the try that it needed to have? And and can you honestly say at the end of the day that you gave a hundred percent? Right. And I t again, the same thing I tell my kids, I'll never be disappointed with them in their sports, no matter how good or bad they do, because they're going to do fantastic some days and some days they're not. And I'm like, dude, big three. And it's kind of how I've started to approach a lot of my life. Did you give a hundred percent? Did you play how you practiced? And did you have fun? Like that's it. If you did the and they all they all feed into each other. If you did those big three, then there's nothing you can't scoff at it. You can't be like, no man, like I did, I didn't I gave 95%. Well then you probably didn't have fun because you're getting your ass kicked. Right. And Trent: You Stacy: if you did 95%, then you're definitely not doing what we practiced. And it's the same thing in like adulting. Trent: Yeah, and there's a way to look Stacy: Mm-hmm. Trent: at it. If you only have 70 % in the tank, if you gave 100 % of that 70 % in the tank, at least you're gonna feel good about your effort. Well, you're gonna feel good about your effort, right? And Stacy: That's still a hundred percent. Yeah. Exactly. Trent: that's what it comes down to. And that goes with life, that goes with hunting down careers Stacy: mean, even that 70%, if you can only give 70%, that's still your hundred percent for the day. Like Trent: Right, which is great. Stacy: and that's not a fail I mean, it is a fail, but that's not you, that's not a fail in the aspect of like you didn't give a hundred percent. You did everything you could, and yeah, it's gonna happen. So what are we gonna do to move forward? So yeah, absolutely. Yeah. No, I dig Trent: Right. I dig it. Yeah, yeah. Stacy: it. Trent: I dig it. This is great. Stacey, thanks for coming on. I appreciate it, Stacy: Mm. Trent: Very insightful and you have a good outlook on life Stacy: I hope so. Trent: and I appreciate it. You do. All right, guys. So Stacey, where can people find you if they need to get a hold of you? Stacy: You No with Trent: Alright, that works out great. I will forward the messages. Stacy: No, I I mean, as you guys can see, I'm really big with my family. and I say that because Trent: Yeah. Stacy: as Trent kinda alluded to earlier, with flying and going to school, there's in being in the military, there's a large portion of my life where I couldn't be around my family. and I mean, even the year that I was gone. So I'm doing a lot of pouring into my family right now to make time up. not to get too much of a sob story, but you know, one of the big failures as a father that I had was my oldest Arthur, he reminded me about up until about two years ago that I had only been there for one of his birthdays. and so that is a failure on me as a dad. Right. There there's something that I have to do to prepare for the next generation. So I I've changed a lot of what I do and where my focus is to make sure that I'm paying that back to my kids to make good humans going forward. so and then with my job now at Skunkworks, there's There's not a lot that you can find me on because I purposely am don't post anything anymore. This is I think as far social as I really post for me. but if you guys want, trent I mean, you could follow my kids and tell them they'd suck at baseball and running, but outside of that, just reach out to Trent and tell him how terrible of a interviewee I was. Fucking never bring that asshole back. Trent: Exactly. you know, like, see, I just keep sucking at this hoping I'm gonna get better and I don't know about that's going. nope, still sucks. Stacy: Yeah. Yeah. You're doing a great job. What is it the I my kid posted it the other day, it was really it made me laugh, but it was that Chris Pratt in Parks and Rec where he's like, I have no Trent: Mm. Stacy: idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really well. I'm terrible. But yeah, that's it. Trent: Yeah, exactly. For sure. All right, Stacey. Thanks, man. Love it. I'll put some Stacy: Love you. Trent: links of like how cool you are and stuff and in the show notes. Lincoln bio. Stacy: Yeah. League leg of bio. If you guys do have questions Trent: you Stacy: though, I will say reach out to Trent if you guys do have questions about Air Force stuff. I know the ice cream stuff really was a big a piece, but there are a lot of really cool things that we do. Like I said, I flew spy planes for a few years, flew cargo, was a mechanic for a long time. And for those of you I worked at American Airlines as an instructor for them and then now I work at Lockheed. So if you guys do have questions or anyone has questions as as far as aviation is concerned, like I said I'm Trent's anomaly friend, the one that like, I don't know how you got in this group, but you can stay. if you guys have questions about that, reach out. I'm not the person Trent: story. Stacy: Yeah. or running running a long distance, I can help with that. But that's about the extent. I Trent: Yeah. Stacy: I don't I no longer lift lift gooder. Trent: It looked good. Awesome. Stacy: I don't know if I live good in the first place, but Trent: Thanks Stacey.