Latest / The Shift Podcast / 40. Leaning In

Transcript

40. Leaning In · The Shift Podcast

0:00
Welcome to fight my datak, a podcast that helps bridge, the
0:03
gap between healthcare workers and First Responders and
0:06
everything in between. Hey, you guys, it's the week
0:12
before Easter and it's finally getting sunny here in
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California. In fact, I think we're going to
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have close to 90 s coming up next week.
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So I'm really excited about that.
0:22
Just kind of wanted to catch you guys up on my personal life and
0:26
my professional life and kind of what's going on.
0:29
Personally, it is spring break and so the kids are enjoying
0:33
themselves, my twins. And my husband actually took
0:37
about 13 days to visit the Philippines.
0:41
And explore a little bit of that.
0:43
My husband spent some time in the Philippines as a missionary
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and so speaks the language. So it's really cool for us to be
0:51
able to send our kids over there with him as they get older, to
0:55
really just experience a different culture and a
0:58
different lifestyle. So, that's kind of what's been
1:00
going on personally professionally in my business.
1:03
I am still working one-on-one with coaching all healthcare
1:06
workers and First Responders and nurses and paramedics.
1:09
Who are trying to get The flight.
1:11
But I am also currently halfway through a flight nurse prep
1:16
group and so I'm prepping them to get into flight nursing.
1:20
And then I am getting ready to start in just two weeks, another
1:23
group. This is for General coaching for
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anyone who's ready to create big things in their lives and get to
1:29
their goals and gain some confidence.
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This is for all healthcare workers and First Responders.
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So getting ready to start that group this month.
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So I'm very excited into moving and group coaching and being
1:39
able to serve more. If you guys and get you guys to
1:42
your goals this year, this week, I had the opportunity to
1:45
interview, one of my clients Sam, he actually played soccer
1:49
in college and did an accelerated BSN program and
1:55
found himself not being able to pass the NCLEX.
1:58
And he really tied a lot of his identity and self-worth to
2:02
failing that test and that's kind of when we met up and we
2:06
started coaching together. He talks about the myths that he
2:09
thought about life coaching, and Really what it is taught him and
2:12
what he is learning from it and how he's growing from it now.
2:15
And how it really, ultimately helped him, get some success to
2:18
be able to pass it, and collects, and move into his new
2:20
role as a pediatric ICU nurse. So he talks about his struggles
2:24
of that and how he was really able to separate his identity
2:27
and step into the person that he knows that he was, and Trust,
2:32
all the challenges that he's faced to get to this point.
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So without further Ado, here is my interview with Sam.
2:45
Hey, Sam. Thanks for joining me today.
2:47
Let's start out. Tell everyone a little bit about
2:49
yourself and what you want to share.
2:50
Yeah, my name is Sam and I am a pediatric ICU nurse in Seattle.
2:56
And I'm a new grad and I've been working with Janessa for I don't
3:02
know how long. It's been maybe three, four
3:04
months now. Yeah.
3:09
And I'm excited to try a little bit with with you and talk about
3:14
My experience and what's been going on and what's new with me
3:18
so? Well, first of all, how good
3:21
does it say that you're a pediatric ICU nurse?
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I think that might have been the first time that I actually said
3:26
that in a normal capacity. So recap, I mean, really cool as
3:32
a new grad especially to be able to say that because that's
3:36
that's a hard job to get. Yeah, definitely was on my list
3:42
and my list of goals personally. Quite a while.
3:45
So pretty cool to make it happen.
3:47
Yeah. And let's talk about that
3:49
because I think it's really interesting for you to tell
3:52
everybody. Kind of how you landed that job.
3:55
Yeah, so I originally went to school a traditional four-year
4:00
for degree in biology, and I was a NCAA soccer player.
4:06
So I played soccer for four years as well.
4:09
And I had just thought that medicine was something that was
4:14
What I was going to do, I always kind of saw my interests line
4:19
and science, and math and those types of subjects.
4:23
And so I thought, you know, why don't we just go study biology
4:26
and see what happens? And so I was thinking that
4:29
medical school and maybe potentially PA school was on my
4:32
radar, and then I found nursing and decided that that was more
4:37
aligned with my beliefs in my values.
4:40
And where I saw myself in the future and So that's where it
4:44
started. And I graduated in the middle of
4:47
the pandemic and took a job at a large Medical Center here in
4:51
Seattle and was working in their registered nurse are in
4:55
Residency program in their Simulation Center.
4:58
And then shortly thereafter. I got into the accelerated BSN
5:02
program at the University of Washington finished that up and
5:06
then took my NCLEX and got my job at sell children's.
5:11
And here I am. Perfect and before we go into
5:14
the NCLEX and all of that stuff. Yes of course I was just like
5:17
spurred thinking about and I know we talked about this but
5:20
I'm curious what your thoughts are about it.
5:23
As far as like being a soccer player and doing that for four
5:26
years and not really being a huge part of your life.
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I'm wondering if that really helped you in transitioning and
5:33
thinking about going into nursing because I think
5:35
nursing's like the Ultimate Team teamwork, got to work together
5:40
thing and I just like love To be in critical situations where
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you're just working. So well, as a team like that's
5:46
my favorite part about it. Yeah, it's interesting.
5:49
You say that I was actually thinking about it, the other
5:51
day, in regards to my experience, playing soccer.
5:56
And I was on a team playing competitively for a larger
6:01
portion of my life than I haven't at this point, which I
6:04
think is quite interesting. So team sports and being on a
6:08
team and just being a Kind of environment is something where I
6:15
feel comfortable and I know that I thrive.
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And so I think what really was attractive to me about nursing
6:21
when I got exposed to, it was that I saw that teamwork
6:25
happening pretty much all the time.
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And I think it was beneficial that I got, you know, experience
6:33
and exposure places where that teamwork was, you know, heavily
6:36
practiced. But I saw what I wanted to see
6:41
in myself or what I saw. Myself and my future.
6:45
And I just wanted to continue to be a part of a team and I knew
6:48
that that was a large portion of what nursing is and you know,
6:54
working with other Healthcare Providers.
6:55
I mean, it's a Cooperative environment so it's nice and you
7:01
know, we've talked about this but it feels nice to be back in
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that type of environment because I have been away for a little
7:06
bit while I was doing school and not really in a intensive based
7:11
team. Apartment.
7:12
And so it's been very nice to get back to that.
7:15
And I'm wondering for you, personally, if it's helped at
7:18
all with that background to transition now, into nursing, or
7:22
it is very team, especially in an ICU or a pediatric ICU.
7:26
Yeah, in some ways, I'm just curious.
7:29
If you feel like that's been really helpful for you to have
7:32
that background to be able to integrate yourself into a new
7:34
team. Yeah, absolutely.
7:38
I think one of the most difficult things about being on
7:40
a team and be new. New is kind of giving up your
7:43
pride or at least a portion of your pride.
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Meaning, you have to accept that, you don't know things, you
7:53
have to accept that you are new, you have to accept that things
7:56
are done a certain way that you might not have experience doing
8:00
them or is completely new to you.
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And so I think, you know, going to college and playing soccer
8:06
and being a Freshman with guys that have been there for 34
8:10
years that are, you know, sometimes quite physically
8:14
larger than you, they could be in their middle twenties, like
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that was pretty scary. And so, I definitely think that
8:21
having an experience being on a team like that where you kind of
8:24
just have to suck it up. Suck up your pride and accept
8:28
your role on that team is very important and I also think that
8:32
knowing your role on any team is very important.
8:36
And so, I think having or taking comfort or taking pride in what
8:42
your role is also very important.
8:44
And I feel like that has definitely been beneficial to me
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as well. I think that's why I really want
8:50
to offer you two that. I think that's why you've been
8:52
so successful in starting out especially as a new grad in this
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unit because you really have thought Beyond this comparing
9:00
thing, where I see a lot of new nurses, especially Who start out
9:04
in the ICU or ER and some of these tougher units is that they
9:07
get in this compare and despair. And it's like, you've really
9:11
been able to use your concept of teamwork before to just be like,
9:15
well, what is my part of this team?
9:17
Now, as coming in as a new team player and, and really The
9:20
Surety and confidence in yourself that you have a lot to
9:23
offer. Yes, Del yeah.
9:25
I think it's important to recognize that.
9:28
While you might be new, you're not always going to be new.
9:30
And so you have to definitely find where you fit in and how
9:34
you're going to contribute and also recognize where you might,
9:39
you know. Not be able to offer things or
9:42
might not have strong suits in certain areas.
9:44
And so I think if you get to a point where you haven't really
9:46
made that decision yet or realized where you fit into the
9:50
team, you're gonna have a really difficult time when you're off
9:53
orientation or don't have a preceptor.
9:57
It's kind of, like, finding your identity.
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Like, you have to find your nursing identity and you, you
10:00
know, it can't be dictated off of what your preceptor does or
10:04
what everyone else on the unit does because you really got to
10:06
find your own Niche. Yeah.
10:08
And I'm interested too because it's been So long, since I went
10:10
to nursing school, but how do you feel like nursing school
10:14
really prepared you for this job?
10:16
Or what has that kind of transition been like as far as
10:20
being a student to now being a full-time.
10:23
Pediatric ICU nurse? Yeah, I think.
10:29
I think a lot of nurses would say that nursing school doesn't
10:32
prepare them in regard to the knowledge that it takes to be a
10:38
nurse or the subject matter. A lot of that we do on our own
10:42
just because we want to know the physiology of something.
10:45
Or because we want to know why something happens.
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I think more of nursing schools. That is accepting and becoming.
10:52
Becoming uncomfortable, almost you kind of have to you're
10:58
forced into situations where you might have a preceptor who
11:01
doesn't want to be with you. Or you have a patient that
11:04
you've never dealt with before, you're really uncomfortable.
11:06
And I think that more of nursing schools that experiential
11:10
learning and learning to know yourself.
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I think, or at least that was my experience, of course, I learned
11:19
so much during nursing school but I think you're learning more
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how to become a nurse rather than You know, just book smarts,
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I guess if that makes sense. So, yeah, and what I'm hearing
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from you two is like, you're learning just like the
11:35
discomfort. Yeah.
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And and, and if you can, if you can do that in nursing school,
11:41
then you can definitely hold on to the discomfort of being a
11:44
nurse because we're uncomfortable every shift.
11:46
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
11:50
You know, you have to be okay, with making mistakes.
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You have to be okay with Saying that you are wrong or that you
11:56
misunderstood something or all of those things.
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And I think, especially in nursing school where you're in a
12:02
position where you don't have much control.
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You kind of just have to accept that and learn from it, because
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it really is valuable. But I'm that you do, spend as a
12:12
nursing student. And I don't think that I would
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relish going back to nursing school.
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And being a student is it feels much nicer to have a license and
12:20
be a real, quote, quote unquote nurse But being a nursing
12:25
student, you know, you have the ability to say, let me go get
12:27
your nurse, or let me go get a nurse because, you know, eat,
12:30
there's always someone that's teaching you or that is able to
12:35
kind of offer support and so you have that support.
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So lean on to, you know, lean into being uncomfortable and
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figuring out what works for you and what doesn't and where your
12:45
skillset lies and where you fit into that team.
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Because again it only lasts for so long and then you're out into
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the real world and yep. Definitely patients are taking
12:55
care of and you're having new experiences that are, you know,
12:59
equally as uncomfortable. So, yeah.
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Just add it. Your trading.
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Like, your level of discomfort for something else.
13:05
That's uncomfortable. Exactly.
13:07
Yeah, yeah. So, let's back up and talk about
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the NCLEX or talk about, like, what we originally met for and
13:14
kind of what you wanted. Some help with with coaching.
13:17
Yeah, so I had graduated in August of last.
13:23
Year. And I took my first NCLEX, I
13:28
don't know the first or second week of September and had a
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pretty big freak out halfway through the test just like
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definitely an anxiety attack and did not have a good experience.
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Did not pass on that first try and was pretty defeated to be
13:47
completely honest. I think more so because I just
13:50
set very high expectations for myself.
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I also, you know what surrounded or am surrounded by good
13:58
friends, who are also very intelligent and past there and
14:01
collects on the first try. So, there was pressure there and
14:04
then I also already had my job offer wind up and so the
14:09
pressure of, you know, needing to pass on the first try, having
14:12
an upcoming job offer but I need to have a license to begin
14:15
residency. It was all just very stressful
14:18
and it came to a head when I had to take the test and it didn't
14:20
go so well and so I spent some more time I'm studying.
14:25
And what I thought would be best for me to prepare.
14:29
I took my second NCLEX, you know, the 90-day waiting period.
14:34
So it's a 90 or 45 days. I can't remember at this point,
14:37
but doesn't really matter anymore.
14:40
I think it was November and then felt a little bit more prepared,
14:44
but still didn't have a very good experience and did not pass
14:49
on my second try. And so, I was kind of at a loss
14:53
to To be completely honest because I didn't know what else
14:57
I needed to be doing to pass this test because I thought that
15:01
I was preparing in the manner to which I needed to be.
15:05
And so, I was very much that this stalemate and I felt very
15:09
very trapped in my situation which is very It's not very nice
15:15
to feel that way. It doesn't make you feel very
15:17
good and so I had had a friend who worked with Janessa and
15:22
highly recommended you. And so, I decided to go for it.
15:26
And, you know, I don't know if we've ever, I don't know if I've
15:29
ever actually said this to you, but I don't think I would have
15:33
ever considered myself someone to do life coaching.
15:36
And I think that's just more so because I, you know, I consider
15:40
myself someone to be I don't know, I think my perception of
15:46
life coaching was very out there and we have kind of chatted
15:49
about this previously as well. Tell me like what that was
15:52
because you aren't my only client that ever tells me that.
15:56
I mean most of people that come to me.
15:57
I've never had life coaching and have this perception of it.
15:59
So tell me what your perception was and then what kind of you
16:02
got from it? I think I think all of the
16:09
people that I, either know, or a previously seen that do life
16:12
coaching, I consider to be more free spirit types or And I don't
16:21
even know how to quite describe it.
16:22
Just people that I thoroughly enjoy, but that I also consider
16:27
very different from myself. And so I never saw myself and
16:32
benefiting from life coaching. And I think it's also because I
16:36
Associated it potentially with people who needed direction or
16:39
who needed it guidance. When I felt, like I've got my
16:43
plan, I know where I'm going. Like, I know how to do this.
16:45
Yeah. When in reality, that's just not
16:48
how it works out. That's all.
16:49
So about what it's for. And so I think I made the
16:53
realization that like, yeah, you have done, wonderful things, you
16:58
are successful. But you also like deal with
17:01
challenges, like anyone else, you also deal with feelings of
17:05
inadequacy or feelings of being lost, just like anyone else
17:11
regardless of how successful you might be.
17:12
So I think, recognizing that life coaching is for everyone.
17:19
And before anyone and doesn't matter how successful your are,
17:24
you know, I think it might also be quite beneficial for folks
17:27
that have already you know found success and what they're doing
17:30
to find ways to even further amplify that.
17:33
So I think I was just dead wrong to be completely honest.
17:37
Like I just, you know, I made my judgment before I had any
17:41
experience with it and I think it's been a very beneficial
17:44
experience for me. So very grateful for that and
17:47
very grateful for my my friend who When you be in this
17:50
direction and made the connection.
17:52
So yeah, I'm grateful for you being able to trust me in your
17:56
journey to especially in that really moment of where you
18:01
really felt inadequacy with the test.
18:05
I don't take that for granted, you being able to trust me in
18:07
that moment to be able to kind of guide you and lead you
18:09
through that and I think that's what it is.
18:11
A lot of people think life coaching is like me giving
18:13
advice but I'm not giving advice.
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I'm just like really like pulling from you your thoughts
18:18
so that you can get. Clarity and what to do for
18:20
yourself. So my question for you is, how
18:24
did coaching kind of help you with passing the NCLEX?
18:28
Ultimately, because we didn't go over questions or content or
18:33
anything like that together, but I really focus on your thought
18:36
work and your mindset and these feelings of feeling inadequate,
18:40
and loneliness, and all kind of all of that.
18:42
How did that kind of help you? And kind of achieving your goal
18:45
that you that you got in the end?
18:48
It's actually quite interesting to me that we didn't even go
18:51
over any content. That wasn't even.
18:56
You know, something that I needed because I definitely felt
19:00
like, I walked into those first two tests, and had no idea what
19:03
was going on in that test. Even though, you know, I know
19:06
that I have a solid education and then I can think through the
19:09
questions and problem solve and all those things.
19:12
So, you bringing that up is definitely very interesting, but
19:19
I think what it boiled down to was, I just needed to think
19:21
about the test differently. That's what most of our
19:25
conversations revolved around. Just you know, either breaking
19:30
it up into second. Well talking about test taking
19:32
strategies but also you know how I felt about myself and the test
19:37
walking in to the test was something that we worked on.
19:42
So like I said, you know test taking strategies and how to
19:45
break it up into segments and don't freak out.
19:47
When you get to question 75 in the It doesn't turn off and all
19:51
those things, but I think the bigger thing was that I gave a
19:57
lot of power to the test. We talked a lot about the
20:01
control that it had over me and how I felt about myself and how
20:07
I felt about my situation. And so I think kind of removing
20:13
Removing the pedestal that I had put it on and just you know like
20:16
we had chatted about all the time viewing it as a test and
20:20
just another test and it will always just be another tests.
20:24
And there will always be another one to take if it doesn't work
20:27
out, you know, and yes it is a big deal and yes it, you know
20:31
gives you your license. But if you put it on the
20:34
pedestal, it's going to own you and it's going to have that
20:37
power over you and you just can't you can't let it do that
20:40
because we got through Nursing school we're smart or
20:44
intelligent. We're successful people already
20:48
and you know, the test doesn't Define you and it doesn't Define
20:51
your success. So, yeah.
20:52
And I think it was also just like you putting yourself on
20:56
that pedestal to, like, I think as successful people, which you
21:00
are, because you had so much success already and life at such
21:04
a young age, when you kind of fail at something, or don't do
21:09
well at something, we make that mean a lot about ourselves.
21:12
Absolutely, yeah, and I could see like you were really stuck
21:15
in that. Oh yeah.
21:18
My identity was completely tied to the test which was completely
21:22
inadvertent. But it happened and it it
21:26
suffocated me. Truly, I didn't feel like I
21:28
could do anything until that test was passed.
21:31
Yeah, what do you think was it? I mean, I know you said like
21:36
taking the taking it off the pedestal and taking the power
21:38
away from it like and really talking about that really was
21:41
helpful for you, but was there anything else that you think
21:44
really created your success for you?
21:46
Be able to pass it this last time.
21:51
I was just going to make a bad joke about pharmacological
21:54
assistance because it can cut that out.
22:02
I don't know, I think it to be completely honest.
22:05
I didn't even walk out of this last test feeling that wonderful
22:10
but I think more so than the previous times, I knew that I
22:14
had done what I could. And that I did my best and that,
22:19
you know, he would go from there and things would be, all right?
22:22
Whereas I just had a greater sense of again, earlier
22:27
inadequacy, whatever you want to call it after the first two
22:29
times. But of course, that doesn't
22:31
matter as Working out in the test.
22:32
I don't know if I could pinpoint something else that really
22:37
changed. I mean it would be interesting
22:39
to hear your perspective if you know from seeing the progression
22:42
of how things went. But I got I think removing my
22:48
identity from, it was the most important thing and my, you
22:51
know, my value in my worth, as a new nurse or as a new grad, or
22:55
as an as a person. You know, was not dependent upon
22:58
me passing that test, even though it might have felt like
23:00
it was, which is quite dramatic. I think that was the biggest
23:03
thing, right? Was your self-concept, like,
23:05
your self concept was based all around this test, but it was
23:09
like, when we removed that and was like, well, how do you
23:12
already know your worth as a person prior to Ooh, this test
23:16
and really talking about that and building that back up again.
23:21
I think that really helped give your power back to being able to
23:25
say, hey, this test doesn't have me.
23:27
I have this test. Yeah, I think it's hard to do
23:31
that as a nurse to because so much like I think, you know, I
23:36
might have been conditioned or it just, you know, happened
23:40
naturally because so much of who we are is tied into, being a
23:44
nurse and especially during nurse School.
23:46
Like it feels like it's your entire personality because it is
23:49
your entire personality. You're going to school, you're
23:51
doing clinical, you don't have extra time, you're studying, you
23:53
doing this? And that and so, so much of your
23:55
identity is being a nursing student and so I think it might,
23:59
you know, it's very hard to not. Then tie your identity into.
24:03
Okay. I graduated I need to take my
24:05
NCLEX and now pass it. And so you know you just jump
24:08
onto the next thing, right? And so it becomes the test that
24:11
you tie your identity to. And then, you know, when you
24:13
become a nurse, I think it's very difficult not to Do that
24:16
because you're so engrossed in your work, you care so much.
24:20
You have picked this profession, you have put your Blood Sweat
24:23
and Tears into being a nurse and so you know, naturally.
24:28
So I think you know, if anything, you know, it's okay
24:32
because it's not bad to be a caring compassionate person who
24:37
takes care of others. I don't see a problem with that.
24:40
I just think it's very easy for that kind of I want to say
24:46
identity confusion, but just, you know, making that Identity
24:50
or making it your whole identity happens.
24:52
So, yeah, and I think that's also a part of what's created
24:56
success for you, in, in collects.
24:58
And now, being a new pediatric, ICU nurse to, is that you've
25:03
been able to allow yourself to be proud to, like, not only from
25:08
where you've come from but like, where you are now and we talked
25:12
about that, like that's kind of been hard for you.
25:15
Except like being proud of those things.
25:17
But I think, as you've stepped into that concept of yourself
25:20
who's allowing of that, that's where your confidence is kind of
25:24
building as well, in this new stage that you're in.
25:26
Yeah, I mean I know it's not that I wasn't confident but I,
25:31
you know, I don't shout it from the mountaintops right, but it's
25:34
okay to exude confidence and talk about things that you're
25:40
proud of and I'm proud of the fact that, you know, I'm only
25:42
one of two new grads in the ICU at this moment. and you know,
25:47
that says a lot about me and it also says a lot about the other
25:51
new grad, who's with me but It's hard, it's rough and not
25:57
everyone could do it. So I'm very proud of that and
26:01
made the joke and I'll make it again, but it is definitely not
26:04
a learning curve. It is a brick wall that I will
26:07
eventually climb over build stairs, whatever it might be.
26:12
But for now, it definitely is We're at the bottom, but that's
26:19
okay, I can accept that. I definitely can accept being at
26:23
the bottom of the totem pole. It's not, what advice, would you
26:26
give someone? Because a lot of people are
26:29
struggling with these standardized tests because this
26:31
is nursing right from here on out, our career is based on
26:34
these standardized tests. So what would you say to other
26:37
people who are kind of struggling with their identity
26:40
and themselves? And not passing these tests
26:42
right now and being really nervous about it.
26:44
What advice would you give them? Um, I think.
26:53
You know, something that we've talked about is looking to the
26:59
Future and not necessarily holding onto the things in the
27:01
past. But also holding on to the fact
27:07
that what you've done is already very difficult, getting into
27:11
nursing school dealing with nursing school going to
27:14
clinicals taking the classes with very little, you know,
27:18
structure sometimes or clarification or support or you
27:21
know, whatever it might be, whatever.
27:23
The issue is of your nursing school, you know, you have
27:26
already dealt with significant challenges and if anything in
27:30
the big scheme of things, this NCLEX is even less of a bump in
27:34
the road or a challenge than nursing school was and that your
27:38
nursing career will be because you will probably face greater
27:41
more significant challenges in your nursing career that you
27:45
even recognize at this very moment.
27:50
So yes it is scary and yes it is hard.
27:53
And yes you need to prepare more than you think you need to
27:56
prepare but at the same time there are way more difficult
28:01
things that you have dealt with previously then the test and
28:07
taking comfort in that and recognizing that it's all right,
28:12
to be scared and it's alright to be apprehensive, but you also
28:15
need to, you know, find confidence and strength and the
28:19
things that you have. Previously dealt with and been
28:21
through and hold onto those and use that to your benefit.
28:26
Because when you can look at the big picture of things, which is
28:29
hard, especially was hard for me when I was in those couple of
28:32
months. Feeling, very sorry.
28:33
For myself. Again, it's just one one, tiny,
28:38
tiny, event in the big, big scheme of, of life, in your
28:45
nursing career. So, you know, I think it's also
28:47
very easy for me to say that being on the other side.
28:50
Side. But I'm also what sick?
28:53
Not even six months. I was about to say, six months,
28:54
I'm like four months into my nursing career like not even.
28:57
So I know they think that time period, where it was so hard for
29:02
you, taught you a lot and I think it's making you stronger
29:04
now in this new period of time than if you hadn't have gone
29:08
through it. Well, yeah, I mean, I think
29:12
there's definitely benefits to it, but I also just recognize
29:15
how poorly I felt it would truly was a really bad Bali and, you
29:20
know, the scheme of my mountains and valleys in my life, thus
29:25
far. But that was also a lot of it
29:27
was self-inflicted because I was feeling sorry for myself rather
29:31
than, you know, taking hold and digging in and all those things.
29:36
I mean, eventually we got there but that was not where I had
29:39
defaulted to Yeah, we talked about that a lot because our
29:42
brain naturally wants to go to the evidence of why we're
29:44
failing. Yeah.
29:46
Like it naturally wants to eat all that stuff up and then it's
29:48
twos on it but like we really worked on just focusing on those
29:52
challenges that you've already faced.
29:54
And and the evidence of like why this is just another challenge
29:57
that you can overcome as well. Yeah, well also getting real
30:02
with the feelings that you were having and being okay, that they
30:04
were just like sitting there too.
30:07
Oh yeah. Absolutely.
30:10
Yeah, because I'm curious if you like, because I'm sure you've
30:14
experienced some of those feelings that you did have in
30:16
that time period now. But I'm curious, if you're able
30:19
to like kind of walk yourself through them a little bit better
30:22
because of the deep valley that you were in the thing to also
30:26
kind of like you had mentioned. I wanted to know why I was
30:28
failing and I was hyper fixating on what I was not doing or what?
30:32
I couldn't like it was more. So what did I do, wrong?
30:35
What did I do? Miss what did I not study
30:39
instead of being proactive about what I could be doing, what I
30:43
could be changing, what new strategies I could be using.
30:46
And so I think that was the real benefit of our coaching or your
30:49
coaching rather and just kind of providing me with those options
30:55
and things that might work, things that I might want to try
30:58
things that I vetoed, because I just didn't even want to try,
31:02
you know, it was very organic conversation in regards to the
31:06
coaching. And how I might be able to
31:10
succeed. So again I think it was being
31:13
more, proactive looking to the Future.
31:15
Yeah, we have spent a lot of time, you know, talking about
31:20
that needing to kind of be my vision and my focus rather than
31:24
looking back. So, and I'm interested now in,
31:27
like, because we're still continuing to work together.
31:30
How is coaching kind of helping you right now, in this time and
31:34
I think probably based based on our ation, a lot of people are
31:37
thinking, we're just like coaching on nursing, but
31:40
obviously it seeps into other areas of our lives.
31:42
Like, that's what why it's called life coaching because
31:45
it's not just on the area that your career, and what you're
31:47
wanting to work on. So how has that been for you and
31:50
like, what is it that how coaching is kind of currently
31:53
helping you in this new state? Yeah, I think we'll to be
31:58
honest, you caught me a week or two ago, when you asked me how
32:01
things were and I am lady Italy defaulted to work and to talk
32:06
About something and then you were like, okay, but like how
32:09
well sir, like, how else are other things, you know?
32:13
How is life, how is life outside of work?
32:15
And I kind of paused and I was like, oh that she probably meant
32:19
that when she asked, first number one.
32:21
And number two, like my I got my whole identity doesn't need to
32:24
be my job, and I think it's difficult right now because
32:28
residency is so all consuming, it's difficult to challenging
32:32
it's exhausting. And so with having so many
32:35
educational classes and shift, It's and all those things
32:37
happening. It kind of is my my life at this
32:41
very moment, but especially the last couple weeks, the last
32:45
couple of sessions we've had, just kind of looking toward new
32:50
goals. And where I want to see myself,
32:53
I think has been the biggest benefit to me.
32:56
Because again, I think for so long, my goals were associated
32:58
with passing the NCLEX and getting my license and getting a
33:02
job and all those things. And so I think pivoting are Are
33:09
you know vision board? I guess if you want to say that
33:11
even though we don't have one two things have one for you.
33:16
Oh I mean I know you do but like I don't have one here with me.
33:19
Um, You know, I think just like switching what almost was just
33:25
on the Forefront of my mind has been beneficial to kind of
33:28
transition into those other areas of my life and make things
33:32
happen that I've wanted to make happen but just haven't quite
33:35
had the capacity or Focus to be able to do given all the recent
33:40
events. So yeah, and I've really noticed
33:44
you've been this transition has been really not.
33:47
I wouldn't say easy for you but you've done really well on it.
33:50
Because I think, you know, like I said before, you went through
33:53
a lot of negative emotions leading up to it.
33:55
So now you're able to kind of deal with them as they come and
33:59
you're just I think the way that you handle this new experience
34:05
and not letting yourself compare yourself to others, has been
34:08
really helpful for you to be successful in this new time.
34:14
Just gotta go with the flow. I mean, I think I've always
34:19
dealt with transition. Well, but that's also because
34:22
I'm very flexible and adaptable. Hmm.
34:25
I won an award in high school. That was the Swiss army knife
34:28
Awards. So that's pretty cool.
34:32
That's my claim to fame. So, you know, I think it's
34:36
always just kind of been my nature, but it's also, you know,
34:40
a superpower of mine because not everyone can with transition
34:43
while Be uncomfortable on set with that discomfort.
34:45
And so, I know that that's something that I'm okay with
34:48
doing, as well. So, and that's gonna really help
34:51
you working in ICU, especially a pediatric ICU.
34:53
When things go bad very quickly for you to be flexible and
34:57
dynamic like that is going to work so well in your favor.
35:00
Oh, yeah, we've talked about already.
35:03
Yeah. Yeah.
35:04
What is last question for you? But like, what is one piece of
35:07
advice? And it doesn't even have to be
35:09
as far as nursing or something that you've gotten in your life
35:12
that has really helped you and propelled you to.
35:13
Ooh, to be kind of the person or the nurse that you are right
35:16
now. You're putting me on the spot
35:20
without one. Something that might be useful
35:26
for someone who's like, listening out there.
35:28
Who's a new nurse, a new grad, maybe be thinking about taking
35:32
NCLEX and wanting to get into the ice.
35:34
You like, what? Something advice that you've
35:37
gotten that's really helped you. um, I think something that I've
35:47
received from you through coaching is just simply talking
35:49
about confidence, it's okay to be confident, you know, I think
35:53
my Association previously with confidence wise people aren't
35:56
going to like you. They're not going to want to be
35:57
around you. But quite opposite at least
36:01
especially in kind of that the nursing realm, you know, if
36:04
you're confident and you know what you can do and what you
36:06
can't do, people are gonna want to work with you there.
36:10
I want to be around you because, you know, confidence breeds
36:13
confidence and other People are going to feel confident and
36:16
they're going to want to be around that.
36:17
So I think one being confident but that doesn't necessarily
36:21
mean being overly confident. I think that's where I am really
36:24
careful being confident. means, you know, Having belief in what
36:32
you actually know and what you know you can do and what you
36:35
can't do. And so you have to have the
36:38
ability to say. Yes I can do that or no, I'm
36:40
uncomfortable with that. I can't do that.
36:42
Would you show me that? So you know I think confidence
36:46
something to some people means just you know being overt and
36:50
all those things and I wouldn't even consider myself to be
36:53
someone that's over time. Pretty quiet truthfully.
36:55
I kind of sit back and do a lot of watching and listening before
36:58
I To engage or add something but one I think the confidence and
37:04
then I had something else but I can't remember.
37:10
Well I love just being okay with being uncomfortable.
37:12
I think is the most important thing, I think a lot of people
37:14
will rather shy away and remove themselves from a situation
37:17
rather than sitting in discomfort when I think so much
37:22
can be learned and taken away from being uncomfortable because
37:26
the next time you're in that situation you're not gonna be
37:28
uncomfortable, you already dealt with it before.
37:30
So you know, you just kind of made the process more drawn out
37:34
because the next time if you didn't deal with it, then it's
37:36
going to be uncomfortable again and like that, you know?
37:39
No one wants to. To deal with that.
37:40
So I just always saline in always lean in just lean into
37:47
the discomfort and what I loved about.
37:50
You staying with confidence is that confidence for you to is
37:54
asking those tough questions and speaking up when you don't know
37:57
the answer. Like that is confidence to like
38:00
knowing yourself enough like what are your limits and what is
38:03
it that you need to know more about like that's compliment.
38:06
That's why I've gotten my most significant feedback already you
38:09
from working. Is that my preceptors and the
38:12
charge nurses and everyone else on the unit, really appreciates
38:15
that I have the confidence to say?
38:16
Yes I can do that. Yes, I know how to do that.
38:19
No, I don't need someone to help me and then in the moments where
38:23
I'm very uncomfortable or I don't know how to do something,
38:25
it's okay to say, you know, I want to watch.
38:27
You watch one do one, teach one, whatever.
38:30
It's like, I never get it right? Yeah.
38:33
Um, You just have to have the ability to do that because
38:36
otherwise, you're, you're going to be on safe and you know,
38:40
you're going to her patients or, you know, have negative outcomes
38:43
and that's nothing that any of us want.
38:45
So, you know, you're not fooling anyone number one, and you're
38:51
certainly not there to impress anyone.
38:53
You're there to do your job, you're doing there to take care
38:55
of patients and you're there to continue learning and providing
39:00
the best care possible you can as a nurse.
39:01
And so again I'll come to back to the why'd you just got to be
39:05
able to get rid of your pride for 12 hours and just recognize
39:09
that there are things that you don't know and there are things
39:12
to do that are you know, to be taught to you and no one thinks
39:18
you're stupid for asking questions.
39:19
You can ask, how else are you supposed to learn?
39:22
Yeah, it's really at any level whether it's beginner, or
39:25
whatever you are. It's like that.
39:27
Those things are any level. If you can learn to kind of
39:30
Master that like, that's how you're going to always be
39:33
successful in your nursing. Well, thanks for being on today.
39:37
Sam, I really appreciate. I really think that this is
39:41
going to be helpful for a lot of people who are stuck in
39:44
standardized tests or who are stuck feeling comparing
39:48
themselves to other people and the units at their beginning,
39:51
out in or as new nurses. So, I think there's a lot of
39:54
good information that you talked about in this episode.
39:57
Well, I appreciate you having me on and giving me the opportunity
40:01
to share a little bit about my experience.
40:04
And my new grad status has a baby rest nurse.
40:09
So yes, I love it and I hate like, yeah, I appreciate you.
40:14
Just letting me be a part of your journey to and trusting me
40:16
and I cannot wait to see where you go from here while
40:20
continuing to work together. Very exciting things.
40:23
Well, thank you. Okay, thanks.
40:25
Am by thanks. If any of you guys find yourself
40:33
in the same place that Sam was and you're having a hard time
40:36
passing that test or getting that interview or doing well in
40:40
a position that you're in and gaining the confidence that you
40:42
need. Come get coaching, come find
40:44
out, how coaching can help you be successful in all of those
40:47
areas and ultimately seep into the rest of your career and the
40:51
rest of your life as well. I hear my clients a lot of them.
40:54
Say, I wish I would have done this earlier.
40:56
I wish I would have taken this step earlier.
40:58
So that I could have gotten there with more help and so that
41:01
is what I want to offer to you guys this week that coaching can
41:05
help you get to the place that you haven't been able to do thus
41:08
far on your own. That's it for this week.
41:10
I will see all of you guys next week.
41:12
Bye. So that I could have gotten
40:59
there with more help and so that is what I want to offer to you
41:02
guys this week that coaching can help you get to the place that
41:06
you haven't been able to do thus far on your own.
41:09
That's it for this week. I will see all of you guys next
41:11
week. Bye.