Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / OUTRO: Beating Off The Cops [R18]

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OUTRO: Beating Off The Cops [R18] · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kid.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, just a little disclaimer here, Old.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I knew you were going to say that.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I was going to say, Mogi. Look, don't lers do
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: it for the kids around right, for all your men bastards.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Loving the Big Show podcast Get Up Even Closer on Instagram,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: YouTube and ticktu Off for raw doggets four to seven
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: every weekday on Radio.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: WALG Live, fels.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Happened, Hello.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Tuesday.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what you feel. There's a lot of
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: dope smoking going on in the city today. Walking up
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to work.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: By Old Jace Otony, old stony head Jace.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: That is such a good nickname, Stony here.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Boy, it's pungent, just from pretty much the whole journey.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: But there's a bit of drama this morning. And old
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Elliott Street right coming back from the supermarket.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Always a bit of drama there.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot Comelli Street, you know where.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: The supermarket is in town, the countdown down the.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Years, the city Mission just goes straight across.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It leads you on too, sort of the square.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: And I was walking along they had done a bit
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: of shopping and the police fan turned up. Sex police
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: officers got out of the van and I went all and.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: They were jet on the ground, Get on the ground,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: on the ground, Stony Head profession crime.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Those boots?
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, once, what's it you wearing your piece of ship boots.
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: I wasn't wearing my boots. I was wearing my slip ons.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: But anyway, I'm wrong. So there were like six of
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: them and I was like, oh this, and it was,
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: you know, the big police fan. I thought maybe there's
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: a ruckus going on. And I was walking along and
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: they all fanned out and went. There's a little sort
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: of car park right next to Elliot Street, and they
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: all fanned out, you know the one and.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: They were sort of looking around, and then you know,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: one of the.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: General public went, he's there, and no, pointed this dude
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: in the car park and he was a pretty wild
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: looking feller.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I gotta say a case of the Stony Heads way.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: He may very well have.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Did that guy see the public person pointed him.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: No, he didn't see that.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: But as he as I walked along, I caught his
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: eye and there were six policemen converging on him, and
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: he looked at me and there was a moment where
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: he saw all the cops and I registered in his face,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I'm fucked.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, like, there's no way out of this. They
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: cut off all the way and he just you could
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: just see.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: In his face he was like, ah, fuck, I'm not
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: getting out of this one.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to get arrested.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: I didn't stay around to watch, because you know, it's
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: not my place to do that. But just a little
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: moment in the city for Jason.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Doesn't know the city city city chair here.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: What do you reckon?
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: You would have done in that Situay? How do you
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: have got away from the cops?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: There was no there was no escape.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: Was there a way he could have like as the
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: cops were coming over, he could climbed on a car
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: and running, Well.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: He could have done that. He may very well have done.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: But these were six foot looking dunes and he was
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: a pretty ragged looking bastard. I reckon, I don't see
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: him taking out sex fit cops.
• 3:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, then they were really fit. They were fat, Well,
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: they fit, they were fat. They're so cool, they were
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: well built. They look like they're in top physical condition.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: You spent a lot of time the CBD. How come
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: you don't have these adventures? I don't spend a lot
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: of time on the street. To be honest, I had
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: one adventure with one home listened to a duel, but
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: it was yeah, I know.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Was that the infamous pace scenario? No, there was that one, absolutely,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: but I mean more recently now, I don't know. I
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: don't spend as much time on the street. And do
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: you fear I think it's worse around where Jason's because
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: you're up there, you're there a little bit. You wouldn't
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: have any kind of adventures.
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: There's one guy outside your work almost daily with a guitar.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: Oh really, who just ons in the traffic there. He's
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: a nice guy. Part of me is like, mate, you're
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: just gonna play the guitar or what? Because he doesn't
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: actually play the guitar, right, because.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, get a fucking skill, brother, You've got all
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: day well skill.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: That's not what I was thinking, you know.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: In fairness to him, I probably wouldn't be playing the
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: guitar if I was crossing in traffic either, kesy.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: But like, why bring the guitar down?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: He probably goes, yeah, house, that's really hard of you, keezy.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: What I mean he probably sits there and strums his
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: guitar and sings for the punters most of the day,
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: probably gets like seven bucks and coins, and you're dissing
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: the guy.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I'm not dissing. I'm just asking, like, play the guitar.
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: And the only people that are sitting sitting around and
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: strumming is that guy that was outside your house.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Remember that.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I did if I looked out
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: my window and there was just a guy there.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: He's giving death.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: What was surprising about that was the vigorous nature of
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: what he was.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, man, I've.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Never been He was like he was like really going
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: after it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: He was going hammer and Tom's bless him, like.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: He was punishing himself almost.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: It is just be on some one of those dragon
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: juice rages. J were your horny ears. You've got no
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: outlet and you're just giving it to yourself at sort
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: of nine o'clock in the morning. Yeah, Jason, you must
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: after an all nighter.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: To be honest, it sounds like you've done. I've never
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: been a vigorous massurbator.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, you always take it easy on yourself. Yeah, telling
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: me that you're constantly putting yourself into the into doggie
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: style when you masturbate. The next your standard.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: On all fours looking at your sheldy sicko.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: You need to look over your showlder case. There is
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: half a dozen thick cops coming at you because you're
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: in the car park in the middle of the city.
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I reckon, you could beat off all six of them.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: To be fair, you can beat them off.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: No worries come one.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Disclaimer, Yeah, disclaimer. This is going on YouTube. By the way,
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: people will be able to watch.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: It The Whole Arky Big Show week days from four
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: on Radio Hiarchy The Wcky Big Show Podcast.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: It's good.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: I think I know pretty much a lot of the
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: people on the streets now.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It's good.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I know their names though I know a lot of
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: their names. Oh yeah, you don't know anybody's name here?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Who are you? I mean, give me an example.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: Who's the guy producing for us right now? Would never
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: clue that's Pugs?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: That Pugs.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I'm here. Did you go last night? Cas it? What
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: time to go to beard Man? Because you're hangover? Yesterday?
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: Ah, my wife and I were watching Grand Designs New Zealand.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Ah.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I told her about the guy who wrote
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: and about how his wife not only likes the host
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: but also liked the builder and so then she was ill,
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: sure we watch the last episode and try.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And find the building that's it was the wrong episode.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: The builder was like nice Valla, but yeah it wasn't.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: It wasn't the same guy.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: But we watched the last twenty minut to it in
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: bed top and I was asleep.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: By like nine thirty. Good fun. It was good. Yeah.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: I was just like, now I love my bed.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: What time you wake up? Seventh thy people the way through?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: I woke up at three to go wheeze. Yes, literally
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: this morning.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: My wife was like, when you go wheaze, you have
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: to like close the door when you leave. I was like,
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: why so the toilet flush wakes me up? And also
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: you did a fart last night and that way, and
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: I was.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: I don't even remember.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I sort of like stagged out, went wheeze, ripped as
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: obviously flush then when I got a glass of water,
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: and then I.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Don't flash the toilet. We don't flush the toilet at night, no,
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: neither do we we flush it. We flashed a grogan
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: was a massive steamer.
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: Yes, I mean it's gonna sound weird, but I feel
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: like my toilet's very quite flushing.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: You know, it's not like it's like, but.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: You wait, your miss is up man, she's having.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: A she could hear like.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: I think it was more me stirring.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: My wife said the very same same thing to me
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: a month ago. She said, can you shut the door
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: when you do wheeze?
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Please?
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but not even when I'm getting up at night,
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: just in general.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Echoes because you're right in the center of the you're.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: A water aimor as well.
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you're a water and you do that weird thing
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: when you're beating off and you're on.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: All fours, very powerful stream.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Bullshit it is.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: It was like a fire hose.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, mine's not super high PS. I wouldn't say mine's
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: not like like some days you listen, you're like, holy ship.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I went to a real period of what do
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: you call it? There?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Power person now the.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Other one where you've got prostate issues yea. Yeah, so
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: it just time just ignored it and went away eventually,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: was the answer. So that was good. Yeah.
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: Like, it's funny when you go to this like the
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: stadium on Sunday with the Wars and you're going wheeze
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: at halftime with Wheeze, and it was just like everyone's
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: there and just like you just notice, and I'm not
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: looking or anything, but you just notice the nature of
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: certain people's wheeze. Yes, the guy in to me was
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: an absolute stallion. He was like forty something. I was like, Jesus,
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: that guy. I feel like I'm getting splashed on him.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: And then the guy next to me was like really
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: pathetic and he was like in his early twenties.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: But you know a lot of people get strapped by
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: anxiety wheeze, like the stage fright, and so they're like.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'll never forget.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I was umpiring a cricket match and it was a
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: school match, and I was in the changing rooms for
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: the umpires and it was a very prestigious school and.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Just sort of looking through the gaps.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: The coach of the team was really this old dude
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: and he went for a pass and the toilet and
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: it was the most painful Stacasto WII.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It was literally like.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Must be a horrible way when you need to go
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: and you can't.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: It took him by five minutes to pass, and I was.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: There's a classic sit down down.
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: They're like they're shaking it around stuff. It's like the
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: harrowing scenes and are the Green Mile when Tom Hanks
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: is trying to person fucking how that.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Is not good? Not good heart? That's hot?
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: What Tom Hanks taking a person struggling?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's touched by that guy. That guy
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: touches him and then he's all good on the person front.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Urinates like a train, didn't he too?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: That's right?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: This is hard. Do we need to put a disclaimer
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: on this?
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: Can we put a disclaimer on the Okay? Thanks for
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: listening The Big Show four to seven Radio Hurdaki weekdays.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Great listening.