Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - A Little Nibble On Your Pinky
Transcript
- 0:00all you crazy cats and kittens welcome to very fine friends after dark what does that mean
- 0:24Jenna. That means
- 0:26it's time for a little
- 0:28bonus
- 0:29improv.
- 0:33I don't know why it's after dark.
- 0:36It may or may not be dirty. I'm not sure.
- 0:38We don't know yet. We haven't done it yet.
- 0:40No.
- 0:42So all you cats and kittens
- 0:44out there,
- 0:46buckle up.
- 0:50Joe, my main cat,
- 0:53could we get a suggestion
- 0:54please.
- 0:55It is with a meower.
- 0:56Mm.
- 0:59Your suggestion
- 1:00is
- 1:02bones.
- 1:05Bones.
- 1:08Do you think if you put a human bone
- 1:10in soup, it would be like
- 1:12a flavor like human?
- 1:17Not what I was going to ask.
- 1:19No, I'm curious.
- 1:21No, I was thinking like, so you put like a
- 1:22like a marrow bone in soup.
- 1:24flavor it?
- 1:26Do you think it would taste the same?
- 1:33No.
- 1:34I don't think it would taste the same.
- 1:36It would be like my ostrich egg.
- 1:38Yeah.
- 1:38Something's wrong with this soup.
- 1:40Who's in here?
- 1:43A little leftover John Malkovich?
- 1:44Grandpa.
- 1:49Good callback
- 1:50to eating John Malkovich.
- 1:52I remember.
- 1:57It's weird to me that there are,
- 1:59it's a great, a small number of people,
- 2:00but there are like sickos out there that want to eat people.
- 2:05I'd feel like they would get power from that.
- 2:08They feel like they're going to get power.
- 2:09Yeah.
- 2:09Like, like the sickos that like want to be cannibals.
- 2:12It's like they, they get like imbue, imbued with power.
- 2:18From.
- 2:19He sounded like Jimmy from.
- 2:22Great audience.
- 2:30That's crazy.
- 2:31Yeah, it is.
- 2:33What a world.
- 2:34Yeah.
- 2:36What a world.
- 2:37Listeners, don't eat people.
- 2:40Don't do it.
- 2:43Unless you're in a plane crash of some kind and you need it to live.
- 2:49No you can go so long without food That true I think people don realize that You can be hungry for a little while Don eat the other passengers please Yeah you can go like 40 days But what if all the peanuts fly out the window That good I think you better
- 3:03to just straight fast. Yeah. You'll be able to handle it
- 3:07better. I need a snack on the way down. Also, hear me.
- 3:11You're eating mid plane crash? Yes.
- 3:14I wanted this. I stress eat. I was thinking
- 3:18in previous incidents where people have eaten people
- 3:20because of emergencies, those people
- 3:22died in the crash.
- 3:24So it's like, okay, I understand that.
- 3:26I guess I was thinking
- 3:28they killed people to eat them, but that's probably
- 3:30not happening. But if they were going to do that,
- 3:32I would be like, let's just draw
- 3:34at random. We'll cut one person's arm off
- 3:36at the elbow. See how long that lasts
- 3:38us. Then we'll take something from another person.
- 3:41Spread the wealth
- 3:42a little bit.
- 3:43Yeah.
- 3:45Also, I don't want to live with the memory of
- 3:47having eaten someone.
- 3:48yeah
- 3:49I agree with that
- 3:51I don't need to be alive that badly
- 3:52hey
- 3:55the rest of them hear you say something like that
- 3:57you're going to be the first one
- 3:58getting elbow chopped for dinner
- 4:01this is for entertainment value only
- 4:04stay away from you sons of bitches
- 4:05back to the pod
- 4:07and now
- 4:10improv
- 4:18Lisa?
- 4:20Yes, Bertrand.
- 4:23You have such amazing grace under pressure.
- 4:29The way you handled yourself in that meeting,
- 4:33the slideshow was not properly loaded onto your computer,
- 4:38and you did the whole thing from memory.
- 4:40That's just so impressive to me.
- 4:44And I wish I had that.
- 4:48I wish that I could do that.
- 4:50I would have faltered in there.
- 4:52So I need to ask you a huge favor.
- 4:56Yeah, anything, Bertrand.
- 4:59Thanks, by the way.
- 5:02I'm going to need a little nibble on your pinky.
- 5:05My pinky?
- 5:06Yeah, I need to get whatever is in you.
- 5:10I need that in me.
- 5:12I've heard that if I just eat the people that I admire,
- 5:18that I'll take on some of that quality.
- 5:21Well, that's subjectively true,
- 5:22but I'm just concerned that you want to go to the pinky.
- 5:26If you want memory, you got to go right to the brain, babe.
- 5:28I know, but then you wouldn't be around anymore.
- 5:30I don't want to do anything.
- 5:31No, that's not true.
- 5:31That's not true.
- 5:32If you just take a tiny little piece, I'll be okay.
- 5:36Oh, okay, great.
- 5:37Yeah.
- 5:38You don't mind?
- 5:39No, you're my coworker,
- 5:40and that's the extent of our relationship,
- 5:42and I want to help you.
- 5:43Okay, thank you.
- 5:44I really appreciate it.
- 5:45you I can see why you get employee of the month every month too It plus Bertrand you up for presenting next month got to be ready That true That true Oh yeah I don want to take you down with me Boy
- 5:57Yeah.
- 5:58No problem.
- 5:58You come over tonight.
- 6:00I'll cook.
- 6:02And yeah, we'll make sure you get your memory.
- 6:05Thank you.
- 6:06Thank you so much.
- 6:07I really, really appreciate it.
- 6:08And a little bit of that grace under pressure too would be.
- 6:12If you could throw some of that.
- 6:13Oh, absolutely.
- 6:13That's comes from the adrenals.
- 6:15You can just take a little slice out of my kidney.
- 6:16Oh, great.
- 6:17Yeah.
- 6:18Great.
- 6:19Can I just say something really quick?
- 6:21Please.
- 6:21I've always thought you were exceptionally beautiful.
- 6:24Aw.
- 6:25I always wanted a nose like yours, so.
- 6:27Oh.
- 6:28Yeah, I feel like if I'm helping you, maybe.
- 6:33You want my nose?
- 6:34Okay.
- 6:36Yes.
- 6:37Okay.
- 6:38This job means more to me than.
- 6:39You don't need that.
- 6:40My nose.
- 6:41You breathe out your mouth anyway.
- 6:42Yeah, that's true.
- 6:43I'm a mouth breather.
- 6:44Everyone says it.
- 6:45I know.
- 6:45I know.
- 6:45I don't mind, actually.
- 6:46they say it behind my back you can say it to my face it doesn't bother me
- 6:50I'm not being judgmental you won't die young
- 6:52well yeah that's fine
- 6:54as long as I die with grace under pressure
- 6:57and good memory
- 6:58did you mention memory or did I make that up
- 7:01no you remembered correctly
- 7:04I said you have a great memory
- 7:07you did the whole thing from memory
- 7:08here's my address
- 7:10127 Finolfoek
- 7:12in the city that we live in
- 7:16see you there
- 7:16cut to dinner oh it smells so good in here i know it's my brain oh yeah so i hope this is a
- 7:26big enough piece oh am i being stingy do you want more no no no no no just whatever you're willing
- 7:30to to give it part with okay that's oh yeah oh i'm gonna i'm wafting the aroma yeah oh yeah i put
- 7:37garlic in my head and a little rosemary yes i love it yeah that's coconut aminos they're very
- 7:43versatile. Also, I don't feel well.
- 7:46Go ahead, take a bite.
- 7:48I'm just going to go right into your...
- 7:50No, I don't feel it, actually.
- 7:51Oh, good. I'm glad this isn't...
- 7:53No, I think I was being performative. You don't feel the brain.
- 7:56I felt that when I was cutting into it.
- 7:59But now the damage
- 8:00is done? Yeah, you don't feel the brain.
- 8:01Okay. Take a bite.
- 8:04Oh, it's hot.
- 8:05It's hot. Okay.
- 8:08And...
- 8:11Mmm.
- 8:11You bitch! You son of a bitch!
- 8:14I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you!
- 8:18Hey, hey, now, I want you to listen to me real quick, okay?
- 8:22I know you're angry right now.
- 8:24Wow.
- 8:25But this is going to pass, and I'm going to tell you something.
- 8:30I just remembered where I left my retainer in the seventh grade.
- 8:35That just happened right now,
- 8:37and I'm going to offer you a solution that's going to make you feel better
- 8:41and make me feel better.
- 8:44Bertrand How was that We did it How did it feel I felt like I had more grace under pressure than This is how you walk around
- 8:54This is how you feel all the time
- 8:56You are amazing
- 8:58God
- 8:59God I am on top of the world
- 9:01Thank you so much
- 9:03Hey no problem
- 9:03I think there's only one thing left to do
- 9:07Oh yeah
- 9:07Do you want to do the honors or should I?
- 9:12No go ahead
- 9:12Okay
- 9:13Oh, it honked
- 9:18That was interesting
- 9:20Here you go
- 9:21There's my nose
- 9:24Oh, thank you
- 9:25Oh, thank you so much
- 9:27What? What do you mean, eh?
- 9:32Oh, I'm just not that hungry
- 9:33You were going to eat it? I thought you were going to put it on
- 9:36I just think that
- 9:39You ate my brain
- 9:40you thought i was gonna wear your nose yeah i thought you were gonna wear my nose
- 9:45i see now that i've eaten your brain that seems like a stupid idea that's an old bertrand idea
- 9:51but now that i have lisa inside me it's getting late but you're gonna stay at work tomorrow
- 9:59okay all right bye thank thank you got to work uh bertrand yes um sorry to come to
- 10:10Something strange has come to my attention.
- 10:13What was your co-worker's name?
- 10:16Lisa.
- 10:17Sounds like you could use some memory increase.
- 10:20I don't know what that means.
- 10:22Apparently she's been lobotomized.
- 10:25What?
- 10:26She's not well.
- 10:28We're trying to figure out what happened.
- 10:29When's the last time you talked to her?
- 10:31Last night.
- 10:34Oh, before or after the lobotomy?
- 10:36I don't, I don't know.
- 10:40I'm assuming before she seemed fine when I talked to her.
- 10:45Huh?
- 10:46This is, this is horrible.
- 10:47Her family's devastated.
- 10:50This is, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to them.
- 10:52She's drooling all over herself.
- 10:55Does she have a hint of rosemary to her?
- 11:00Yeah.
- 11:00Now that you mentioned it.
- 11:02And maybe a little garlic.
- 11:03That's what it was.
- 11:04I thought someone farted.
- 11:06Well, just letting you know, this is tough.
- 11:10This whole family, this work family is going to take this tough.
- 11:12Let me ask you one last question.
- 11:14Yeah.
- 11:15What did her nose look like?
- 11:20Now that you've mentioned it, she had two noses.
- 11:24That bitch.
- 11:28See you.
- 11:36you