Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / The Day Two Missionaries Duked It Out │ Msg 1222

Transcript

The Day Two Missionaries Duked It Out │ Msg 1222 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Let me draw your attention to the last six verses
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: of the 15th chapter of the book of Acts. You'll turn, please,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: in your New Testament to Acts 15. I'll begin reading
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: at verse 36 down to the end of the chapter,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: verse 41. Acts 15, 36. After some days, Paul said
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: to Barnabas, let us return and visit the brethren in
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: every city in which we proclaimed the word of the
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Lord and see how they are. Barnabas wanted to take John,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: called Mark, along with them also. But Paul kept insisting
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: that they should not take him along who had deserted
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: the work. And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: they separated from one another. And Barnabas took Mark with
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: him and sailed away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: and left, being committed by the brethren to the grace
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: of the Lord. And he was traveling through Syria and Cilicia,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: strengthening the churches. Some things sound so outrageous when we
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: hear them, we can hardly imagine they're really happening. For example,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: several years ago, I heard about a young interviewer who
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: was spending time with the late little Catholic nun, Mother Teresa,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: and he was curious about a number of things that
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: had never been asked her, so he decided to ask
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: her if she had any other dreams in life. Did
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: she ever want to be anything other than who she is?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: And she said to him, to everyone's surprise, well, I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: always wanted to be a flight attendant. Now, when I
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: heard that, It seemed outrageous to me to think of
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Mother Teresa handing people Cokes and coffee and serving them
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: little toy meals on an airplane. It just didn't seem right.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: One of my all-time favorites is the story of a
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: grandmother who had a rather precocious seven-year-old granddaughter who was
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: determined to find out how old her grandmother was. And
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: grandmother wouldn't tell her, and the girl kept pestering her
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: and She said, I'm not going to tell you my age,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: only your granddaddy knows how old I am and you
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: don't need to know, it doesn't matter. And she was
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: fixing supper one evening and the little girl was much
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: too quiet and so the grandmother slipped upstairs to her
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: own bedroom and walked in and there was the little
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: girl with the contents of the grandmother's purse spilled out
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: on her lap on top of the bed and she
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: had her driver's license. And she said to her grandmother
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: when she walked in, you're 73 years old. She said, well, yes,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I am. How do you know that? She said, well,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I see the date of your birthday here, and I
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: subtracted that from this year, and you're 73. She kept
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: looking at it. She said, you also made an F
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: in sex. You know, you don't think of a seven-year-old
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: as saying something like that. It seems... A little outrageous
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: for a child to make a statement like that. And
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: speaking of outrageous, you know, the day two missionaries duked
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: it out is a sermon title that just sort of
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: grabs you when you look at it. And it just
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: seems too outrageous to imagine. I mean, missionaries don't duke
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: it out. They don't even argue. Matter of fact, all
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: they do is pray. And talk about Jesus. But you
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: smile down inside if you are a missionary, you hear that,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: or if you've been with them. Because you know that
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: they are real people just like any others of us.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: And there was a day when if they hadn't controlled themselves,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: they would have literally had a fight, I'm convinced. And
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: these are not wild-eyed, carnal men who were out to
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: get one another. These are the men that we've respected
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: now for quite some time. Paul and Barnabas. I mean,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's outrageous to think that men who are
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: this mature and this godly and I... mean that sincerely,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: who have had these seasoned years of knowing and walking
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: with God, who would stand toe-to-toe against one another and
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: be engaged in an argument so heated that they could
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: no longer work together, nor did they ever again. One
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: of the things that has attracted me to the Bible
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: through the years has been its realism. When God paints
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: his people in the scriptures, he paints them warts and all.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Unlike us, who would prefer to airbrush them, God shows
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: us the whole truth. When he presents Moses, he doesn't
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: hide the fact that he once murdered an Egyptian. When
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: he gives us David, he doesn't keep us from that
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: walk on the roof of the palace and the adultery
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: that followed and the murder of Bathsheba's husband. And an
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: evangelist like Jonah, who had the chance of a lifetime
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: to lead the largest revival in the history of time,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: doesn't keep us from seeing him and all of his
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: skepticism and ugly racial prejudice. And when we see Paul
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: and Barnabas in the last few verses of Acts 15,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: here they are. Outrageous though it may seem. In such
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: a heated argument that they literally could never come to
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: terms with it. And they separated. Never to return again
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: to a mutual ministry. Let's remember where we are here.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Paul and his wonderfully close, perhaps Closest of all friends, Barnabas,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: have finished the first journey and they've set new records.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Founded churches and endured persecution. And Paul now bore the
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: marks of a stoning from Lystra. And they return with
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: wonderful reports of God's taking his grace to the Gentiles.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: And they spend a long time in Antioch. after the
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: report and then right on the heels of this they
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: are leaders in what has come to be known as
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: the Jerusalem Council. First 35 verses of Acts 15 tell
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: us of how these thoughtful and carefully thinking theologians hammered
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: away at the grace of God and determined that Gentiles
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: do not need to be Jewish in order to be believers.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Though some said they must be circumcised and they must
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: keep the Sabbath and they must order their lives according
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to the law, Paul and Barnabas and Silas and others
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: like James said no, no. If a Gentile comes to Christ,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: if a Jew comes to Christ, it is all by
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: grace through faith apart from works based on the finished
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: work at the cross where Christ paid the penalty for
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: their sins as he paid him for ours. They remained
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: a long time, according to verse 35, where they teach
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: and preach the word of the Lord. Chapter 15, verse 35.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: These are the kind of men we're talking about. These
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: are the men you and I would stand in line
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: to be with, to spend an evening with. This is
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Paul and this is Barnabas. Who would ever expect anything
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: near a disagreement to say nothing of a heated argument
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: between men like that? So much for the setting. It
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: all began with an idea. Paul's idea, verse 36. Let's
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: return and visit the brethren in every city in which
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: we proclaim the word of the Lord and see how
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: they are. How wholesome. Let's return. How helpful. Let's visit
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: the brethren. And how exciting. Let's see how they are.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Let's go together. We've done it before, Barnabas, and there
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: will be less surprises. These are godly men doing godly things,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: theological issues being resolved, and the word of the Lord
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: being taught between them. What a great idea. And Barnabas responded,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: great thought, let's do it. Let's take John Mark with
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: us as we go the second time. Verse 38 said, no,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: John Mark won't be going. And Barnabas said, oh, yes,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: he will. And Paul said, oh, no, he won't. And
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Barnabas said, oh, yes, he will. Verse 39, and there
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: The idea wasn't the problem. Both of them wanted to go.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's what followed the idea that created the rift. And
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: they showed themselves warts and all. Campbell Morgan writes of
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: this encounter, I'm greatly comforted whenever I read this. I'm
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: thankful for the revelation of the humanity of these men.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: If I had never read that Paul and Barnabas had
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: a contention, I should have been afraid. These men were
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: not angels. They were men. It's a good word. They're
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: good men. They're godly men. But they're not perfect men.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: And it must have hit Paul wrong to think that
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Barnabas would have a wild idea like taking along a
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: defector I like the words of Dr. Bob Cook, God
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: reserves the right to use people who disagree with me.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: We come a long ways in life when we realize
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: that there may be another idea outside the one we
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: thought of that goes even further that God may be
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: pleased to bless. This is a good time for me
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: to pause and share with you maybe two or three
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: very important things to remember regarding disagreements. I don't often
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: ask you to do this, but somewhere in your printed materials,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: find a place where you might be able to write
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: some things down. Maybe you'll never have another disagreement, but
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I think I will have some, and I've written them down,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and I think it might be helpful should that occur
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: in your life. to be able to go back to
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: these three things and to review them. Here's the first.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: In every disagreement, there are the same two ingredients. In
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: every disagreement, there are the same two ingredients. First is
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: an issue. The issue is objective and it involves principles.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: There's an issue at stake and It's clearly stated and
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: there are principles that surround it. Here's the second ingredient,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: various viewpoints. And the viewpoints are subjective and they involve personalities.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: You look at it one way and, if I may,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: your wife looks at it another way. You look at
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: it one way and your son or daughter looks at
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: it another way. You look at it one way and
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: your roommate at school looks at it another way. It's
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: very subjective. And the way we look at it has
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: a lot to do with how we're put together. That's
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: why I say it involves personalities. If you can keep
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: those simple factors in mind, it will really keep the
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: heat down so that you can work your way through
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: an argument rather than stomp out in the middle of it.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: There is an issue that involves principles and they are
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: looked at from different perspectives. In fact, I could put
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: together a definition of a disagreement, having said what I've
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: just said. A disagreement is a conflict that involves an
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: issue seen from opposing points of view. It's an issue
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: that is looked at from different or opposing points of view.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: This is the issue This is how I see it,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: says Paul. No, this is how I see it, says Barnabas.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: That brings up a second comment. In many disagreements, each
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: side has validity. Both sides have strengths. Sure, every argument
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: has its weaknesses, but both sides have their strengths. Neither
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: side is what I would call a slam dunk. If
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: it were true, there wouldn't be an argument. Of course,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: from your point of view, it is a slam dunk.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Or from my point of view, it's so obvious, I'm
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: surprised the other person doesn't see it. But there are strengths.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: In most every disagreement, both sides have validity. Here's a
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: third comment I would add. In heated disagreements, someone usually
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: gets hurt. In heated disagreements, someone usually gets hurt. And
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: by the way, the higher the heat, the deeper the hurt.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: The deeper the hurt. I don't care what level of
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: maturity you have reached in your walk with Christ, you
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: are not immune to hurt. Words strike like shrapnel embedded
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: in the brain, and you don't forget them. Especially if
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: during the argument, character assassination occurs. Someone calls you a
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: name or implies a certain thing about your character. I
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: know a friend who is in his late 70s who
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: can still remember decades ago when his father-in-law in front
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: of the whole family clan on a Thanksgiving afternoon looked
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: at his son-in-law and said, you know, he called his name,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I never had much use for you anyway. And this man,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: now white-haired, Really getting up in years remembers not only
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: the words, but the feelings and even the tone of
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: that statement that Thanksgiving afternoon. It hit like shrapnel. In
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: heated disagreement, someone usually gets hurt. Now, I give you
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: those three not because they're all that great or insightful,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: but they're necessary to remember. If you and I will
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: remember those three statements, it will help in the next argument.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: It will help you become a little more objective. Now
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you to sit behind the bench.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: You're the judge. Today we're going to work hard at
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: being neutral because we like both Paul and Barnabas. Some
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: of us are more like Barnabas than we are like Paul.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Others of us are more like Paul than Barnabas. And
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: to be sure, they are from a little different background
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: and they see things differently, which is what happened in
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: this case. Now, what is the issue? The issue objectively
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: stated is should a person who has walked away from
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a serious responsibility be given a second chance? Worded another way,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: should someone who leaves people in the lurch be allowed
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: to go again on a similar mission? Barnabas says, yes,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: by all means. Paul answers, no, absolutely not. Obviously, they
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: have opposing points of view in this particular issue. What's
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Barnabas thinking? When we read Barnabas wanted to take John Mark,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: don't think it was just sort of a shrug, kind
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: of like a nice idea. Would you please, may I, Paul?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: This word wanted is in the imperfect tense in the Greek,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: and it is from a word that means to will something.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Barnabas willed it and wished it and
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: stuck by his guns. The young man is going. He
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: has every right to take the trip with us. Sure,
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: he failed. Sure, he walked away. No one's denying it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: But Paul, nobody's perfect. He was young and inexperienced several
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: years ago. He blew it only once and we still
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: made it. Yes, it was hard, but we made it.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: And we had a difficult time and we missed him,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: but he's learned a lot from this experience. And I
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: know he's willing to go again. He not only needs
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: our encouragement, he could use our endorsement. And what else
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: are mentors for, if not to give us endorsement when
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: we are weak? One of the reasons you have been...
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: your mentor has endeared herself or himself to you is
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: because they stood with you when most people stood against you.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: They were there. Barnabas says this is our chance. And
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: you can't forget they were cousins. They were. The letter
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: to the Colossians tells us that Barnabas and John Mark
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: were cousins. And when blood enters into it, it's almost
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: impossible to be completely objective. Because of that and other reasons,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Barnabas wanted to take John Mark. Paul's response in verse 38,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: the imperfect here again is revealed in the way it's translated,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: kept on insisting that they should not take him along.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Can't you hear Paul? He has proven himself a quitter earlier.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Faithfulness is job one among God's servants. Remember Barnabas is
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: looking at the man, Paul is looking at the principal.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Barnabas is looking ahead, Paul is looking back. We'll need strength,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: we'll need stability, we need someone with a proven track
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: record If we thought it was hard the first trip,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: can you imagine what we're going to encounter on the
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: second time around? We need confidence if we're going to
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: lean on this man and rely on him to be
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: there when we need him. But Paul, you're the preacher
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: of grace. The book is full of people who have
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: flown higher even though they failed. Moses was a murderer.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Jephthah was rash in his judgment. Rahab, the harlot. Jonah,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: a racist. Paul, you yourself, once a persecutor. it's tough,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: isn't it? It's a tough decision to go with this.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Some of you are feeling very magnanimous right now. You're thinking, well, Paul,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: get with it. Would you loan money to a person
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: who didn't pay off his first amount that he borrowed
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: from you? Would you loan him more money? Would you
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: loan him your car if he wrecked the other one?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Would you let them stay in your house if they
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: tore up the other apartment when you let them stay before?
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Suddenly it gets a little bit uneasy. And that's why
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: it says there was a sharp disagreement. I'm sure Paul
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: could have quoted confidence in an unfaithful man in time
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: of trouble is like a broken tooth and a foot
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: out of joint. Proverbs 25, 19. It's a verse. Literally,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: it says, putting your trust in an unreliable man is
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: like chewing on a sore tooth or trying to run
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: on a broken foot. You ever done that? Ever had
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: somebody else leave you in the lurch and you're left
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: with the whole shooting match? I'm sure Barnabas could have
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: quoted David, the adulterer. He pardons all our iniquities as
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: far as the east is from the west. So far
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: has he removed our transgressions from us. I waited patiently
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: for the Lord and he inclined unto me and heard
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: my cry. He lifted me up out of a horrible
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: pit and put my feet on a rock and established
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: my going and put a new song in my mouth,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: even praise to our God. God is a God of
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: second chances. It's funny what verses we turn to to
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: support our positions. His compassions fail not, they are new
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: every morning, great is thy faithfulness. When my wife and
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I have an argument every decade or so, I like
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: to refer to verses of scripture that help. Then I
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: have to get used to sleeping on the patio for
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: a while. until she tells me where she hid the key,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: and then I get back in. We have a little
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: fun with it, but the fact is, there was no reconciliation.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: They never even came halfway. Before it just rumbled, Drains
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: off in your mind as black print on white pages.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: It's like hearing screaming and shouting and arguing in the
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: senior pastor's office. And you hear the other voice and
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: it's another staff member. And you blush with embarrassment. And
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: it is really heated. And it is really ugly. That's
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: what we have here. There occurred such a sharp. Disagreement. Paracusmos.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: We get our word paroxysm from it. Paracuno means to
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: sharpen as you would sharpen the blade of a knife.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This is
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: one intense argument. And neither is giving ground. And it
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: led to a separation from one another, and you don't
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: read again of the ministry of Barnabas. You never read
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: again of the companionship of Paul with his longtime friend.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: John Pollock writes wisely, there must have been serious wrong
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: in a situation which made the lovable, even-tempered Barnabas use
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: angry words. And Paul had far to go before he
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: could write, love is patient, And kind love does not
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: insist on its own way. I think Pollock is right.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I don't like having this in the scriptures. I don't.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I want to take it away. But I can't. I
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: can't do that anymore than I can erase the argument
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: you have had and you still linger over, though it's
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: been months, months past since the words were used. and
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: you still drag the anchor, or she does or he does.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: There are Christians today that won't talk to each other.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Christians going to the same heaven, they'll have to talk
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: on the way up because they've got an eternity to
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: spend together. It'll be no problem then because the old
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: nature will be gone and we'll be freed from all
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: those hangups. Are you from your former mate and you
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: live in the bitterness and the blame of her wrong
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: or his? Or you're spreading that venom to one of
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: your children or somebody's grandchild? Come on. Come on. What
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: do we do about this? What would I have said
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: had I been available and had they even thought of
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: asking what I would say? I probably would have listened
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: to the argument which may have gone something like this.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: John Mark, we can't take John. He failed us last time.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: But that was last time. Wait, wait, wait, Barnabas. He's
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: likely to fail us again. He's a deserter at heart.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: But He's had time to think it over, Paul. We've
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: got to give him another chance. He's got the makings
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: of a great missionary. Tell me, Barnabas, isn't it because
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: he's your cousin you want to take him again? That's
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: not fair, Paul. You know I've tried to help many
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: people who aren't related to me. I'm convinced this young
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: man needs understanding and he needs our encouragement. He could
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: be a great evangelist someday. We need someone who can
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: stand in the gap, Barnabas. Stand up to persecution and
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: angry mobs and beatings and even time in jail. Our
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: team has to be close-knit and thoroughly reliable. How can
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: we trust a man who failed like John Mark? No, Barnabas.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Remember the words of the master, no man who puts
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: his hand to the plow and looks back is fit
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: for the kingdom of God. I've talked to him about
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: his failure. I'm sure he won't defect again. It's too
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: soon to trust him. Paul, remember how soon after your
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: conversion I took a chance on you? The apostles were
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: afraid of you, thinking you were faking your conversion in
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: order to infiltrate the church at Jerusalem. I didn't make
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: you prove yourself. At first, I'd rather not keep John
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Mark waiting. I vouch for him today. A.T. Robertson writes,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: No one can rightly blame Barnabas for giving his cousin
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: John Mark a second chance, nor Paul for fearing to
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: risk him again. One's judgment may go with Paul, but
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: one's heart goes with Barnabas. So what would I say?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I've thought about this for hours. I've had my own
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: share of arguments. I'm sad to tell you, and you've
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: had yours. I've had some that were never reconciled. I've
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: had most that have been, thankfully. And I've learned in
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: these years on this earth that there are some lessons
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: that stay with us, that work. And I want to
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: give them to you. I want to share them, and
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: I want to remember them the next time if there
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: is another. Next time I'm engaged in something anywhere near
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: this heated, I want to remember these four lessons. Here's
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: the first. When in a disagreement, work hard at seeing
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: the other point of view. When in a disagreement, work
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: hard to see the other point of view. It begins
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: with listening. And let me tell you, it will take
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: three qualities that don't come easily. It will take honesty.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: It will take objectivity. It will take humility. None of
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: which are easy. None of which come naturally. Philippians 2, 3,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: and 4 talks about not doing things for our own benefit,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: but for the benefit of another. Don't look only at
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: your own point of view, we would paraphrase, but look
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: at the view of the other. Remember I use the
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: words work hard. It's hard work to put yourself in
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: the other person's shoes. The disagreement will never find any
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: path toward reconciliation until we do that. That brings me
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: to the second. When both sides have good support, and
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: they often do, seek a wise compromise. When both sides
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: have good support, seek a wise compromise. Now, I can
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: tell by the way some of you bristled when I
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: said that. I watch you rather closely. Compromise is not
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: a word you've been raised with. you've got backbone, you
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: don't give in. You stand firm. I know. I was
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: raised like that. And I sometime appreciate gristle and backbone,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: but I'll tell you I admire more a person who
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: can negotiate compromise without giving up any moral or ethical principles.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: There's a lot more wobble room than most of us
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: want to give credit to any argument. One man writes,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Could Paul or Barnabas or both have developed a reasonable compromise?
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Giving in would not have meant heresy, for no doctrine
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: was involved. Could Paul have said, We'll tell him he's
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: on probation. If he doesn't work out the first month,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: we'll send him home again. Or Barnabas perhaps could have conceded,
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: We do need dedicated workers on our team. Let's give
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Mark a minor assignment here at home, see how he does. Meanwhile,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: we'll start our journey. If he measures up, we'll send
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: for him and he can join us along the way.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Or they could have agreed on a contingent plan. Let's
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: take Mark, but others also. If Mark does desert us again,
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: we'll have others to fall back on. Those are compromises.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: The only way nations outside of war solve their battles
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: is people sit at tables and look at one another
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: and talk about it. My dad used to say, be careful,
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: you have two fists and one mouth. The great tendency
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: is to swing your fists, but intelligent people use their mouths.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: He was right. When both sides have good support, seek
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: a wise compromise. Here's a third. When the conflict persists,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: care enough to work it through rather than walk out.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: When the conflict persists, care enough to work it through
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: rather than walk out. Let me tell you what solves nothing.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Slamming a phone down in the middle of a conversation.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Or slamming a door as you stomp out. Or a lengthy, needless,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: silent treatment. Or bolting from a marriage. Or quitting your
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: job in the heated moment of difficulty. Breaking a long-term
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: relationship with a friend or one of your own family members.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Work it through. Work it through. Stay at it. It's
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: the hardest work you'll do, but it's the most rewarding. Now,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I'm a realist, and so I have to bring this forth.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: When it cannot be resolved, graciously agree to disagree without
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: becoming disagreeable. When it cannot be resolved, graciously agree to
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: disagree without becoming disagreeable. You know, I think they did that.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Not once does Paul write against Barnabas in all of
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: his letters, not one slam. Not once does Barnabas take
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: on Paul with a group of friends and say, well,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: if you knew the man like I know him, then
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: you finish the sentence. Can I add the words and
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: get over it? And just get on with life? You know,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: I didn't know the South lost until I was in
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: the 10th grade in high school. I just thought we
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: ran out of time and ammunition and money and territory.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: And finally, I had a very reliable American history teacher
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: who convinced me we lost. Some of you can't get
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: beyond the Mason-Dixon line. You just can't get there. Get there.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: We lost. Your daughter wants to marry a Yankee? It's okay.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Just be sure they're marrying Texas. Don't clap. That's a joke.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: But it is a good idea. Isn't it amazing when
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: you meet up with people, they'll sometime bring up a
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: deal from a wound that was cut open in 1977.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Or they'll bring up a marriage that was over in 1984.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Or they'll talk about not getting voted into office because
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: of some schlock back in 1991. And you don't even
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: remember the names. And frankly, you don't care. They care.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And so they live in the swarm and the swell
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: of the puss. They've never gotten over it. I don't
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: think there's any pus in this wound. I think there
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: was a sharp disagreement and I don't think Paul and
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Barnabas worked together again. But you know, it all worked out.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Tell you the truth, not all separations lead to bad conclusions.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Some of the greatest seminaries in the world began because
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: they split off from seminaries going south. I shouldn't say south,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: I should say going left. That's it. Some of the
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: finest schools in the country started because of difficulties in
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: the administration and the faculty, and they decided to start
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: another school. Some mighty fine churches started from splits. Not
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: a lot, but some mighty fine ones. Some awfully good
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: second marriages emerged from terrible first marriages. Though there were
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: heartaches in the first one. Deep and abiding. The reason
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: is they got over them. I want you to remember
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: these words. In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Once again, in essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Got it? Let's do it. In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: In all things, charity. What a way to live. Father,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: forgive them, for they don't know what they're doing. As
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: he hung with Roman spikes in his hands and in
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: his feet. As he died, Father, they don't know what
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: they're doing. And he paid the penalty in full for
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: the sins of the whole world. And there was reconciliation
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: between God and man. And he paid the complete price,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: though he didn't deserve a bit of it. Praise his name.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: I'd like us to bow together. I'd like you to
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: close your eyes. I'd like you to revisit your own
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: wounded world where you will see the face of a
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: parent or a child or a friend, former mate, fellow
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: employee of years ago, a boss, a coach, a pastor,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: a guardian, some authority figure, some counselor, somebody, a sibling.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: It's time, women and men, It's time to get on
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: with it. It's time to let it go. Separate, fine,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: but get on with it. If you can't reconcile, that's
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: a big if. Get on with your life. We don't
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: need the poison. We have enough of it to wade
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: through in our own lives. Right now, stand at the
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: foot of the cross. Look up to him. See him
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: hanging there, bleeding and dying. That he might give us
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: the gift of forgiveness, which we did never deserve, and
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: a fulfilling life, which we could never earn. It's called grace.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: It's because he forgave us. He went the whole way
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: and we went none of it. And he did it
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: because he loved us. He did it because he wanted
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: our love in return. It may be that you have
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: a little homework to take care of. You may have
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: never come to the Lord Jesus Christ personally. This may
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: be the first time you ever saw it in light
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: of all of this. Wouldn't it be a great day
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: to trust him? Give your heart wholly to him. Maybe
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: there's a phone call you need to make. Maybe there's
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: a visit you need to pay or a letter to write.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: If they're dead, it might help to go to the
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: grave site or go to a good counselor and pour
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: out your soul and get rid of the venom and
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: release it. Best of all, you just do it face
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: to face. Lord God, Thank you for the mighty victory
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: that was wrought in Christ at Calvary. Thank you for
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: spanning the gap between our sin and your righteousness, between
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: our ugliness and your holiness. Thank you for loving us
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: through it all. Thank you, Father. Thank you for the
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: beautiful way that you mend and heal and you bring
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: about release and reconciliation. Thank you for the relief that
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: comes through forgiveness. Broaden our shoulders and deepen our wisdom
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: and break our wills as we humble ourselves to do
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: what has to be done. And may we do it
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: graciously and may we do it willingly as you give
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: the strength that's needed. I trust you, Father, to speak
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: personally to each one of us in this very personal message.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Not just about Paul and Barnabas, but about us. And
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I trust you, Father, to do it deeply and permanently
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: that the wound might heal and that a full life
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: might follow. I ask it through Jesus Christ, our Savior,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: and all of his people said, Amen.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: The preceding message, The Day Two Missionaries Duked It Out,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: was copyrighted in 2001, 2003, and 2024, and the sound
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: recording was copyrighted in 2024.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: By Charles R. Swindoll, Inc.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: commercial use is strictly prohibited.