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What is the etiquette for befriending a friends friend? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang and the club on nine
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: four seven.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: So this is how friendships end?
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: How well?
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: And I'm saying this because I'm currently watching this in
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: real time happening in like, not in my friendship circle,
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: but in my in my extent, my satellite friendship circle.
• 0:25
  Speaker 5: Where.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: People forget that there's an etiquette to befriending your friend's friend.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Befriending your friend's friend. Yes, okay, So let's.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Say everybody made through me, okay, and then two of
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: the friends decide that they're going to be friends, even
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: outside of you. Apparently it's a thing, and apparently people
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: don't like it.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: People catch feelings about this kind of stuffy.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: I've always found that when my friends get along, it
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: makes my life easier because then you don't constantly have
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: to be worrying about oh oh, it's this friendship circle.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: As that friendship circle, the fact that you can put
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: all your friends in one melting pot, especially around birthdays, funerals,
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: baby showers, weddings and all of that, it should work easier.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: But apparently some people don't like it, and that's also allowed.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: Let's not judge them.
• 1:12
  Speaker 6: I mean, look, I'm not a big fan of mixing
• 1:15
  Speaker 6: groups of friends because sometimes it doesn't work as an experiment.
• 1:18
  Speaker 6: But from what I've heard, what people what upsets people
• 1:21
  Speaker 6: is so you connect Cyndia and I, right, and then
• 1:26
  Speaker 6: we then arrange a meetup that you weren't aware of
• 1:29
  Speaker 6: until you see Instagram snaps and you go, oh, so
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: you guys have cut out the middle man. I thought
• 1:34
  Speaker 6: the three of us were a trio type of thing.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And people have rules around this kind of stuff
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: and they'll catch feelings.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: So there's etiquette.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: I found an article that has etiquette, and it's like, Okay,
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: finally somebody put it into words right, because the truth
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: of the matter is people who feel like those people
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: who feel slighted when their friends become friends with their
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: other friends. They're painted as being childish and you know, insecure.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: But there's I think there's kind of mayor to your feeling.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: So listen to this etiquette. Okay, you must include rule one.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: You must include the friend who introduced you to at
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: least a few times before you.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Guys hang out by yourselves.
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: Which is what I was saying, because that's where they
• 2:15
  Speaker 6: catch feelings.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: So there's going to be a slow transition.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, it is funny enough.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Rule too, The transition from hanging out the three of
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: you to hanging out one on one can happen if
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: and only the original friend has missed at least two
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: of the in person hangouts in a role.
• 2:31
  Speaker 7: Sorry, is this an adult friendship or a board game?
• 2:33
  Speaker 7: What is going on here?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Adults?
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 2:35
  Speaker 7: Why are we having rules in adult friendships just to
• 2:38
  Speaker 7: keep the peace?
• 2:39
  Speaker 8: No?
• 2:39
  Speaker 7: Why can't we all just understand different friends for different things,
• 2:43
  Speaker 7: different people for different things. It's okay to have different
• 2:46
  Speaker 7: friends for different things, and it's okay for people to
• 2:49
  Speaker 7: be friends without you.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: The first time you and your friends hang out one
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: on one, you must take a selfie together and send
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: it to the original friend to the original later.
• 3:01
  Speaker 7: So what happened before cell phones? In the letter, you're
• 3:04
  Speaker 7: gonna take a photo and then go to CNA and
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: develop develop it and saying no, guys, I'm sorry.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: You can't have rules around friendships.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: Rule four. It is the final rule.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: No, never post a photo.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Of you and your friend's friend unless she knows that
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: you guys are together, so it can't surprise me. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: can't be scrolling through WhatsApp or Facebook or.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: Twitter, although meeting and making sure there's no evidence sounds
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: far more devious.
• 3:31
  Speaker 7: Do you agree with any of these rules? Do you
• 3:34
  Speaker 7: think there should be rules?
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: I mean I don't care for it personally, Like I say,
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: I like it when my friends get along.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: But I understand people who feel like this.
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: So if you got on Instagram this afternoon on your
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: birthday and Cyndia and now I don't know at Jimelle,
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: do you know why?
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: Do you know?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: I like it because I like them together, because they
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: like the same person.
• 3:55
  Speaker 7: She would only be upset because she'd be like, it's
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: my birthday, I'd like to come drink champagne. That's the
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: only reason she wouldn't be je of the friendship.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: I mean, friends of mine went on holiday together after
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: meeting through me.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: But did they invite you? No? Oh you didn't want
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: to go? Yes? You see, this is why I would
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: catch a little bit of feelings.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Like if my two best friends started hanging out together
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: without me, without inviting me, I'd be like, what's happening?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: What did I do?
• 4:18
  Speaker 7: But you wouldn't have You wouldn't have a problem with
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: them being friends. You would just have pomo for how
• 4:22
  Speaker 7: much fun they're gonna have?
• 4:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I feel like I'm being cut out
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: of the friendship.
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: But if they included you the next time.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: That's fine.
• 4:30
  Speaker 8: See.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's that you can be friends, but
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: you guys now can't be friends more than your friends
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: with mem Hmmm, I think.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: That's where it is.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: Oh one one eight thirty eight nine four seven. This
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: is why I'm protecting you here. You're not childish. Just
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: run us through it. Run us through why you don't
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: want your friends being friends with your other friends without
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: you in the mix.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I'm at this point of the game.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I can admit that I might be instigating a little
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: bit of a French coo ooh right, but I'll tell
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: you just now about it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: But am I bastie? But I'm being very open about
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: it so he knows, So he knows it's coming. He
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: knows it's coming.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: You're poaching poaching his friend, yes, and you want his
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: friend to be better friends with you than him.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: We'll talk about it just now.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: Zero eight four double zero double zero nine four seven.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Apparently there's an etiquette to be friending a friend's friend.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Has this ever happened to you? Do you wish that
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: these rules were followed?
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Where does it stand now? Has it caused havoc? Is
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: their tension? Have you lost friends because of this?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I can imagine a lot of people have gone through this.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Some are against you, some are for you. But don't worry.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: It's all balanced, not not everyone is going to jump
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: down your throat, justindy.
• 5:43
  Speaker 9: Yeah, we all need to be mature about this and
• 5:45
  Speaker 9: realize that people may have more than one friend. You
• 5:49
  Speaker 9: are not entitled to be the only friend of your friend.
• 5:53
  Speaker 9: Friends get to make more friends.
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: People should just do what the hell you want, whether
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: or not they met through me or whatever the situation is.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I really I do not mind. I could not be bothered.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I actually don't care.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I love for them to be happy without me, because
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: sometimes I'll be busy to be there, or whatever the.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Case would be.
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: You know what's worse than your friends becoming friends behind
• 6:13
  Speaker 7: your back?
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: When your sister and your mother in law becomes besties
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: and having key dates and they don't include you.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: It's about not being included. Yeah, when you become friends
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: with your friends.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: Your sister's not call for that because she I mean,
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not saying even your mother in law, she's just
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: saying that she preshoes your sister to you.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Well, they just connect better, you see that they obviously
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: that's what the issue is here.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see it Christmas. Who connects better with who?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: When it's time for me to buy you a gift?
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: What's your story?
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: So my best friend's name is Vickers, right, Yes, we
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: jump together all the time, lovely, play some tennis. He's
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: back on the tennis court now, paddle et cetera, played
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: real man, Real Men.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: He has a friend called Jimmy.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Is this the one that you're trying desperately to be
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: friends with?
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: So Jimmy is an exceptionally nice guy everyone. He's so
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: cool and I wish I could be friends with Jimmy.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: But we are connected through Vickers.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: But Vickers.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I don't think Jimmy knows this, but Vickers knows. I've
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: said to him, if I could be friends with Jimmy,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I choose that.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: So what's stopping you from being friends with Jimmy.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: Well, Jimmy's got a lot of friends.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: So at the moment there's a cue, there's a waiting list.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Jimmy's French.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So Jimmy, obviously we know each other and we've seen
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: each other a few times, met a few times.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: You've never been around Jimmy without Vickers there. This is
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: what you want. You want one on one time with Jimmy.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: But now this is what we're talking about because the
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: etiquette here states that we shouldn't be doing it.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: I shouldn't be pursuing that.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: This only applies when both parties want to be friends.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Are you saying that, Jimmy?
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Jimmy Rozoni in.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: Limpopo, good morning, Hey, happy birthday.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for Rodany. I'm having a good day.
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: I can hear.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, talk to us.
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: What do you think about this friendship etiquette?
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: You know what I'm not for the in terms of
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: how you Expennard was taking selfie and whatnot. I think
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: that's to my son. Were all adult and you know
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: we can just manage, you know, our own emotions, et cetera.
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: But for me, the only problem is when you when
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: the friends who the friends who have not become friends starts,
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: you know, the main friend that he's not connection the
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: other friends, he starts talking badly about you to the
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: other friends. And the friend that you have a startid
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: relationship with now start taking the other friends side.
• 8:35
  Speaker 8: So I remember, for.
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: Example, my husband is so his friend doesn't stay here,
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: says in Joe bots for the one day he and
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: they were like they those friends that like to teach
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: everything ale day on the phone like with a you morning, noon,
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: like every single day. And then one day he didn't
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: say anything and he wrapped up the side and my
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: husband bumped into him like it was a surprise. So
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: I think those kinds of things. But just I feel
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: like that where you are just regarding the just a
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: simple call like hey dude, it was last minute, but
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I am around, I might see you, I might not,
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: you know, so that when you do see me, it's
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: not a surprise. So for me, that's the only otherwise.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: You know, friends can be friends, and it's always nice
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: being friends of friends become friends.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: It really is easier because even your trips away are
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: much easier because you're not playing middleman where you oh,
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: you know, she also likes cooking. Everyone gets along.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Because they know each other.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: But even with that, guys, there is boundaries, like you're
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: saying there's no now you are in my neighborhood when
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: you used to come and visit me all the time,
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: and you don't say anything because you're somewhere else exactly.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So, and I mean, I mean they can have
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: their own, you know, friendship with actually being there. But
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: I think just or I think, just remember like who
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: your main friend is and that you know you should
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: you should by all means try and protect that their
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: friendship because if you allow someone else become and poison
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: that friendship thing, yeah, because even now they're like, it's
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: so said, they don't even speak as much. It's as
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: if they don't even know it.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: And that's the sad thing.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: That's what happens, right because obviously now you know you
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: feel betrayed. I think that's because you feel betrayed by
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: your friends.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: So when like I'm watching this happen in my periphery
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: friendship circle, and it's purely because if you and I
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: are really good friends, right and I tell you.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Everything, you must remember that.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: If I want to moan about Cindy, who's also my friend,
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: but you guys are not friends you in my safe space,
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: I bounce off you.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: You know, Cindy and I have.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: Got this issue, but she's like this and she's like that.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: So it doesn't mean that I don't love Cindy any lace.
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: But it just means that if there is something that
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: her and I are grappling with, I will confide in Frankie. Now,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: if Frankie and Cindy become friends, now my vault is gone.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: And everything I've ever said about Cindy to Frankie now yeah,
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: now they're you know what I'm saying because well, you
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: know one said this about you. Yes, but you know
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: now you're just giving that. You're not giving the context
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: and how I was feeling and what was happening between
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: me and you then, because humans are complex creatures, we
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: go up, we go down, we go left.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: We go right.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Emotional.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I just think the whole like friendship amalga mating,
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: is that you now no longer have safe spaces.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't even like like you're saying an individual
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: friend of two that you can go to.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: Yeahala in Centurion, Good morning.
• 11:20
  Speaker 8: Good morning, guys. How are you doing?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: We're great? You say you're going to do the same thing.
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's wild for me, guys, because I was I
• 11:28
  Speaker 8: was with a friend. I'm going to say it wise
• 11:30
  Speaker 8: because we're not friends anymore, and there was been I
• 11:34
  Speaker 8: was friends within twenty years. You know what I mean,
• 11:37
  Speaker 8: and he introduced me to a friend of his. We
• 11:40
  Speaker 8: got into business with this friend of his, and then
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: we you know, we we built a relationship because of
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: the business side of it, you know what I mean.
• 11:49
  Speaker 8: It's it was always my best friend and I would
• 11:52
  Speaker 8: go to them and we would chill together, a few
• 11:56
  Speaker 8: of us. It was always a three of us. And
• 11:59
  Speaker 8: then you know, me and the side frame, we got
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: closer because of the business side. He got of it.
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: He started spreading rumors about me and to our other friends,
• 12:11
  Speaker 8: and you know, I mean, he messed it up, and
• 12:14
  Speaker 8: I didn't that. Me and the guy became closer to
• 12:18
  Speaker 8: a point right now we are best friends, you know.
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: And now he's going to be the best man at
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: you're waiting and not your real friend, you know.
• 12:25
  Speaker 8: What I mean. And it's not because of me, it's
• 12:27
  Speaker 8: because of him.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: He's the one that caught feelings.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Go back to making your morning and on nine four seven,