Latest / We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism / Ep. 27: Alyssa Has the Plague

Transcript

Ep. 27: Alyssa Has the Plague · We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism

0:00
Welcome to the We Are More podcast.
0:13
My name is Alyssa.
0:15
And my name's Bri.
0:16
We're two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism.
0:20
We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His
0:25
word.
0:26
And apparently that's controversial.
0:28
Get comfy.
0:33
Hello everybody.
0:36
Hello world.
0:37
Welcome to Live on Locations.
0:42
Brianna and Alyssa, but Alyssa has the plague.
0:44
Also, we're not live in any way.
0:48
I'm alive.
0:49
I don't know that I am.
0:51
You're not.
0:52
So if you've noticed a little bit of a change in our social media.
0:56
It may be lacking.
0:59
This week, the plague took over my whole body.
1:04
Just yours.
1:05
Just mine.
1:06
I was in the ER twice this week for a couple of different things.
1:11
But one of which, interestingly, was pneumonia.
1:15
Which we have established is a new name of a demon.
1:18
I mean, at this point, probably.
1:21
I don't like, I feel like old people get pneumonia.
1:25
No.
1:26
You are old.
1:28
Shut up.
1:30
So that's why we've been a little bit less present.
1:34
And frankly, I'm still, you know, on the verge of death at any moment.
1:39
I've discovered a good way of engaging on the social medias is just reposting other
1:44
people's posts.
1:45
That sounds great.
1:46
I've been doing a ton of that.
1:47
If you're like, why do I have 17 notifications from this feminist podcast about them reposting
1:52
every video they've ever seen in their life?
1:54
That was me at nine o'clock last night.
1:57
I'm sorry.
1:58
Bree's been holding things together for us.
2:00
But not well.
2:02
But together, though.
2:06
Just because Frankenstein looked like a monster doesn't mean he wasn't together.
2:10
I think.
2:11
What are you trying to call me?
2:14
I was going to make an analogy about a bad bra.
2:18
Oh no.
2:19
Bree, I can't laugh that hard.
2:22
The cough is coming.
2:23
It's in the back of my throat.
2:24
The plague.
2:25
The plague.
2:26
So today is going to be a way shorter episode.
2:31
I know you just want to hear our voices and know that we're semi alive and present.
2:37
So what we're going to do is talk about TikTok.
2:44
And also a book that I bought.
2:45
Oh, yeah.
2:46
That I'm very excited about.
2:47
Yeah.
2:48
So really, we're just chatting about a whole lot of hot garbage.
2:52
And we hope you're excited about that.
2:54
Yeah.
2:55
Welcome.
2:56
Get comfy.
2:57
Put on some...
2:58
Take off your bra.
2:59
You know, take off your bra.
3:00
Sit down.
3:01
Let the freak flag wave.
3:05
And by that I'm talking about your boobs.
3:07
Thank you.
3:08
I actually went to my therapist today and I was like, she was like, so what's your next
3:14
episode about?
3:15
Because I told her we just finished our Bathshiba series, which was extensive.
3:20
And she goes, so what are you doing the next one about?
3:24
And I was like, like TikTok.
3:27
I was like, no one's having a spiritual transformation today.
3:32
Just prepare yourself.
3:33
Sometimes we just need to rest.
3:35
Yes.
3:36
This is, let me tell you, this is the week of rest.
3:40
I have barely pulled it together.
3:42
I can attest to that.
3:44
Yeah.
3:45
She's not together now.
3:46
So jumping right in.
3:49
Alyssa and I do this thing where we just send each other feminist TikToks and reels
3:56
back and forth all the time.
3:58
But also what I do is from my personal TikTok, I will send it to the podcast TikTok so I
4:03
can then repost it from the podcast.
4:06
I always, I never even bother to look at them because I assume you're like gonna reference
4:11
this for yourself later.
4:12
Oh yeah.
4:13
I do that.
4:14
It is something that I do.
4:15
Oh, I want to make a point also that we are currently recording.
4:19
So we've been at my mom's house, at our mom's house.
4:22
No, just yours.
4:23
For the last like week or so because I'm passing on and you know, need that assistance.
4:30
And we are currently recording in our childhood bedroom.
4:36
And it is bubblegum pink.
4:38
Let me just show you that much.
4:40
Fairies along the border.
4:43
Bubblegum pink.
4:44
And traces of my feet from the ceiling.
4:47
There's glow in the dark stars up there.
4:50
Many things are happening.
4:51
So lots of throwbacks for Alyssa and Brianna today.
4:54
We definitely destroyed this room.
4:56
We did.
4:57
And it's really frozen in time.
5:00
So where my bed was I'm looking at right now, in the corner of the wall I had taken these
5:07
like foam stickers for some reason of monkeys and bananas and put them like every other
5:13
one.
5:14
So monkey, banana, monkey, banana.
5:16
All the way from the ceiling to the floor.
5:17
And now there's this residue of brown gook.
5:21
And it's been there for probably what?
5:24
15 years?
5:25
It's been there a long time.
5:27
Yeah.
5:28
And then we sharpie down the wall a couple places.
5:32
Everywhere.
5:33
It's weird.
5:34
Terrible.
5:35
We were destructive.
5:37
Yeah.
5:38
Yeah.
5:39
We always criticize Brandon for like hanging stuff up.
5:41
Our brother, his wall was terrifying.
5:44
His room was terrifying.
5:47
But I feel like maybe we were worse.
5:51
Sorry Brandon.
5:52
No, I'm not.
5:53
Brandon, you deserve that.
5:54
So back to TikTok.
5:58
Back to TikTok.
6:00
Some of the more recent trends I've been seeing lately.
6:03
Hilarious.
6:04
It says, letting men know I'm not an easy target when I'm on, when I'm on.
6:11
And we thought I was going to be the problem today.
6:16
I can't breathe.
6:18
I can't.
6:19
When I'm on a walk.
6:21
All right.
6:23
Just start the whole sentence over again.
6:25
Letting men know I'm not an easy target when I'm on a walk.
6:29
There we go.
6:30
She got it, folks.
6:33
So it's like girls on the phone or, you know, on their headphones or something talking while
6:39
they're hiking or doing a run.
6:43
Just so like, especially if you're alone.
6:45
And it's just funny, like this girl's on the phone and she goes, my doctor told me to stop
6:50
eating Tide Pods, but they're so good.
6:53
But to me, it's just ridiculous that that even has to be a thing.
6:59
That girls have to come up with clever ways to make sure that they're safe.
7:05
And it's a joke, but it's not a joke.
7:07
It's not a joke.
7:08
It's not a joke.
7:09
Actually, a couple of years ago, not far from us, a woman that was just taking a walk through
7:15
like a semi populated area.
7:19
You know, she was kind of in the back wooded area, but semi populated area.
7:24
And she was murdered.
7:27
Just taking a walk.
7:28
They say something like if you're a single woman or you live alone, whatever.
7:34
Something that you should do is get like big, heavy, large construction boots that look
7:38
like worn by a man and leave them somewhere noticeable, like outside your front door and
7:46
get a mannequin or something to keep in your passenger seat or whatever.
7:50
So it just appears that you're not alone.
7:52
Right.
7:53
Ridiculous.
7:54
Well, it's the same thing as they say if you're out at a bar and a man is harassing you and
8:01
won't leave you alone.
8:02
You can say a million times over, I'm not interested.
8:05
No thank you.
8:06
Leave me alone.
8:08
And he will, not everyone, but oftentimes women experience where men continually won't
8:15
leave them alone despite the fact that no is a full sentence.
8:19
But if you say, I have a boyfriend, you're much more likely to have that man back off
8:26
because men have more respect for another man that they've never met.
8:30
As opposed to the woman that's standing right in front of them.
8:33
And I think that's what a lot of that plays back into.
8:37
Well, it reminds me of that, I think that we've said this before, but you know that
8:42
scene from Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Collins is proposing to Lizzie and she says no.
8:49
And she says it as polite as she can, but she says no.
8:53
And he's like, oh, silly women.
8:56
I know that you often say no when you mean to say yes.
9:02
So I'm excited to propose to you again or something.
9:05
I forget what he says, but she goes again like, I said no.
9:09
And it takes him a while to get it through his thick skull.
9:12
I think we've taught men that like, oh, it's the chase.
9:17
Women like you to chase after them, blah, blah, blah.
9:21
But what hasn't been taken into account in that statement and that sentiment is not every
9:27
woman wants you to chase them, first of all.
9:30
And second of all, we have to be scared of you now.
9:35
Right.
9:36
Well, how often are we telling girls that a boy likes you if he teases you?
9:42
If he pulls your hair.
9:44
Or antagonizes you.
9:46
So it teaches men too, like, oh, do you want to show her that you like her?
9:50
Oh, torture her a little bit.
9:52
Yeah.
9:53
And it goes all the way back to taking a walk.
9:59
Taking a walk, eating Tide Pods.
10:02
Maybe you should bring some Tide Pods along.
10:05
Snack on them as you go.
10:06
Because Tide Pods make me stronger.
10:09
All right, Brie, on to the next TikTok.
10:13
On to the next one.
10:15
Which one should I talk about?
10:17
This one I thought was good.
10:19
To make yourself small, quiet, and easy to swallow.
10:22
They said your fire was too much.
10:24
That your desires were too wild.
10:26
That you should be ashamed of the hunger in your soul.
10:30
But here's the truth they won't tell you.
10:33
The world fears women who know what they want.
10:36
They fear women who refuse to play by the rules.
10:39
Who aren't afraid to burn everything down just to feel alive.
10:43
You were never meant to fit in their little box.
10:46
You were born to shatter it.
10:48
They want you tamed because they can't handle the storm that's inside you.
10:53
But why should you apologize for being powerful?
10:55
For wanting more than a life of empty smiles and shallow conversations?
11:01
You deserve to be wild, to be unruly, to take up space unapologetically.
11:07
Stop dimming your light for people who can't handle your shine.
11:11
Remember this.
11:13
The ones who fear your power will always try to silence it.
11:17
But your voice was never meant to be quiet.
11:21
I saw this and then I posted something that said like, take up space unapologetically.
11:28
And it reminded me of, I think your pastor's wife had mentioned something about that when
11:34
I was at your church one Sunday.
11:36
She's like, quit apologizing for taking up any amount of space.
11:40
And that's so true too.
11:42
How often are women trying to make themselves smaller?
11:45
And I'm not just talking about physically.
11:48
I'm talking about how much energy you put into something or how much joy you have about
11:55
something.
11:57
Your passion for something.
11:58
You're always trying to stomp it out a little bit because you don't want to be too much.
12:04
Right.
12:05
It reminds me of, there was a, when we were younger, there was a trendy sticker that people
12:11
like, I remember seeing it on the back of cars and whatever.
12:14
Baby on board?
12:15
No.
12:16
Not that one.
12:17
Oh, no.
12:18
It was like, well-behaved women rarely make history.
12:24
It was, it was all over the place.
12:25
And I remember our mom did not like that because she was like, well, you can be well-behaved
12:31
and still, still be important, still, you know, have an impact or whatever.
12:37
And I think when you pull that whole thing apart, would you ever say well-behaved men?
12:47
Would that ever be a phrase you would even hear?
12:49
No, because there's not a way that men are supposed to behave.
12:53
There's not an expectation of well-behaved men.
12:59
Because what a childish thing to say.
13:01
Yeah.
13:02
I'm not well-behaved.
13:03
I'm a grownup.
13:04
I behave as I wish.
13:06
And yet for women, there's this concept of well-behaved.
13:13
Do what you're told.
13:14
Yeah.
13:15
The proper sort of woman.
13:17
Yes.
13:18
Someone that's smaller, someone that's not intimidating, someone whose feet are the right
13:24
size and whose features are small and you know, whatever, like that really stereotypical
13:31
tiny little woman.
13:32
And I mean, I say this as a five foot tall woman, okay?
13:35
Like I'm the little person.
13:36
Google says it's Pulitzer Prize winning historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.
13:41
Oh, there we go.
13:43
Thanks Laurel.
13:44
Thanks Laurel.
13:45
It's a good quote.
13:46
But I, and you know, we've talked a lot about how Bree and I and our mom have been on like
13:52
a feminist journey.
13:54
So I think that this reaction to that phrase has really turned around.
14:00
But it's so interesting as you pull it apart and look at the deeper meaning of it.
14:07
Well-behaved women.
14:10
Women that have decided to live in the box we've been told to live in are unlikely to
14:16
make history.
14:18
Don't make waves.
14:21
Stay in line.
14:22
I think there's a song there.
14:26
The women who stepped apart from the crowd who let their passions and their loves and
14:34
their dislikes be as loud as they wanted to and kept going.
14:39
Well, and we've said this before about the podcast too about how we look at feminism
14:45
from a religious perspective.
14:47
That's what we do here.
14:49
If this is your first episode, sorry, this is a little weird.
14:54
But as a rule, we look at things from a biblical perspective and how feminism is totally in
15:02
there.
15:03
Kind of loudly.
15:04
Very loudly.
15:05
But we've had people say, why can't you believe what you believe quieter?
15:12
Can't you just shut up about it?
15:14
Can't you just stop talking about it?
15:17
Because it lights a fire in our butt or our stomach, wherever you want the fire to be.
15:23
At the moment, the fire's in my throat and my lungs.
15:28
And it's everywhere.
15:29
That's what pneumonia is?
15:30
Yeah, fire in your lungs is what it is.
15:35
No, but it all goes back to that phrase.
15:39
If we walk away quietly, then we're allowing other women to sit in what I think is a pile
15:46
of garbage.
15:47
A literal pile of hot steaming poop.
15:53
Whereas if we walk away loudly and we say, look, that's crap.
16:04
It's not biblical.
16:06
You don't need to be a tiny submissive wife.
16:09
You don't need to listen to every word your husband says.
16:11
You don't need to worry about- You don't need to be a wife at all.
16:16
You don't need to worry about the patriarchy.
16:19
You can just say no.
16:21
You are enough.
16:23
If we say that loud enough, then maybe one or two people will hear it.
16:30
And I think we've gotten really positive responses on TikTok lately, which I'm really happy about.
16:36
We've gotten a couple of weirdos out there.
16:38
I'm looking at you out there.
16:39
Actually, I'm looking at one comment we got today in particular.
16:42
Oh, I haven't looked at it.
16:44
But yeah, join the club.
16:46
You're more.
16:47
You're more than what society and culture and patriarchy and misogyny has told you you
16:53
are.
16:55
And I also want to say this might feel random, but it doesn't feel random to me and it's
17:00
my podcast, so I'm gonna say what I want.
17:02
Misogyny and patriarchy do not reflect the love of God.
17:08
They never reflected the love of God.
17:10
They were never part of the plan.
17:13
It's not good.
17:15
Say it one more time for the people in the back.
17:17
Let me just- Hey, hey.
17:19
We're talking to you.
17:22
At no point did patriarchy, male headship, male leadership, men being superior to women
17:30
in any tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny way, at no point was that reflective of God's perfect
17:38
plan for his people.
17:39
At no point was it reflective of Christ's love.
17:43
I just- You know what?
17:45
Let's end the podcast there.
17:47
19 minutes in, we're out.
17:49
We're done.
17:50
See you, bye.
17:51
That's all that needed to be said.
17:54
Not to get political necessarily, but there was- there's a trend going around on TikTok
18:00
right now because someone made a whole song about it.
18:03
Kamala Harris was being interviewed and I forget, a governor or some- I think it was
18:10
a governor, made a comment about her from, I don't know where they were from.
18:16
Don't listen to me about where they were from.
18:17
But they accused her of, because she didn't have children essentially, that made her not
18:25
humble.
18:26
And she, as a leader, needs to be more humble and that's what she should aspire to be.
18:30
And her response, because the interviewer was saying, how would you like to respond
18:35
to that comment?
18:36
She said, well, first of all, I would like to say not all women are out here aspiring
18:41
to be humble.
18:43
Thank you.
18:44
For heaven's sake.
18:46
I just think that is so powerful.
18:52
Humility is great.
18:53
I'm not saying that humility is not something that we should have.
18:59
In certain aspects.
19:00
Because you are a woman does not mean that your number one aspiration in life should
19:05
be to be humble.
19:07
Would you say the same thing to a man?
19:10
I mean, look at any of our male political leaders.
19:14
And I'm not talking about currently even.
19:17
Look at any of our presidents going back.
19:21
Would you say he needs to be more humble?
19:25
Would you even want that?
19:27
Because in a president, you do kind of want someone who's going to stand up and be a little
19:32
loud.
19:33
So would you want humbleness?
19:36
No, you just want it because she's a woman and she's stepped outside of the box you wanted
19:41
to put her in.
19:42
Exactly.
19:43
I bought a book.
19:45
I know that everybody's shocked here.
19:49
It's a different sort of book than my normal sort of book.
19:53
Romance novels.
19:54
Yeah.
19:55
I'm known on the podcast for the romance novels.
20:00
Romance novels and her children's fiction.
20:04
Yes.
20:05
Okay.
20:06
So this book.
20:08
Now this is going to be a little bit controversial and I want to dive into it in a loving way,
20:17
but also in a way that says like there is some righteous anger behind this.
20:22
A little bit of Taylor Swift female rage.
20:24
A little bit.
20:26
Now this book was written by a man, by a heterosexual man.
20:30
I didn't know that.
20:33
He was on TikTok and he got, I don't want to say famous, but he got pretty popular on
20:39
TikTok because he did this series of how to make men angry.
20:44
So the book is called How to Piss Off Men, 109 Things to Say to Shatter the Male Ego.
20:51
And I bought it mostly because it was funny.
20:54
I saw it on TikTok and I was like, I must own this, what in the actual heck could be
21:00
in this thing.
21:01
A quick coffee table read.
21:03
A toilet read.
21:04
Yes.
21:05
It's quite quick if you want to pick it on up and have a good laugh.
21:09
I laughed very hard and actually my husband thought it was really funny too.
21:14
And that's how she got pneumonia.
21:15
Yeah, that was it.
21:17
She laughed too hard.
21:18
I laughed too hard and then I died.
21:21
Died.
21:22
So this goes into, it'll say something like, it'll give a quote, like you should say this
21:30
to a man.
21:31
And then it explains why it would hurt their ego, basically.
21:35
It hurt my feelings.
21:36
Yeah.
21:37
It makes me feel bad.
21:39
And I think it's important to point out that we're not sitting here like male bashing all
21:45
the time.
21:47
We don't hate, sometimes.
21:49
We don't hate all the men.
21:51
But it's important to point out why some of these things hit.
21:55
Like why they're funny, but why also for women these are relevant.
22:02
So let's see.
22:05
Oh, this is a great one.
22:07
So it says, say this when a man tries to explain crypto to you.
22:11
Oh, so it's like Kohl's cash?
22:19
I loved that one.
22:21
Especially for our family.
22:23
I feel like our family, like not just Alyssa and my mom, but my grandma, my aunts, my cousins,
22:33
our entire wardrobe came from Kohl's.
22:35
It's very possible.
22:36
At least at one point in our lives.
22:38
But I think it's, that one hits a little bit harder because of mansplaining.
22:46
Like I, and I love the men in our family, okay?
22:51
But the amount of mansplaining.
22:59
I'm a fairly educated woman.
23:00
Bri's a fairly educated woman.
23:03
We know stuff.
23:04
I don't need you to explain how to cook to me.
23:06
I've got it.
23:07
I've got it covered, guys.
23:10
The spice blends, we're good.
23:12
I got it.
23:13
Add more salt.
23:15
I'm not going to need any explanations.
23:17
But I think that's why that one's so funny is because we're so used to men over explaining
23:22
things we already understand.
23:24
I think there's, like we talked about, I think in the last podcast, there's a difference
23:29
between talking to someone peer to peer and then talking down to someone.
23:35
I feel like very often the issue with mansplaining is that you are talking down to someone.
23:42
You couldn't possibly understand this.
23:44
You're a silly little female.
23:45
Right.
23:46
If I ask you about crypto, if I'm like, oh hey, could you explain that to me?
23:51
Now, crypto is a large part of my job, so I get it already.
23:55
But if I ask you and we're having an educated conversation, that's very different.
24:01
Well, that's a conversation.
24:03
Right.
24:04
As opposed to you deciding that I need this information.
24:07
Let me teach you.
24:10
I like to say things to make...
24:12
I think I do these things.
24:14
I like to say things just to annoy people.
24:19
For example, if someone's watching pickleball and I say, where's all the gherkins?
24:26
I know there's no pickles in pickleball.
24:34
But the reactions that I get make me laugh.
24:42
I mean, you have to ask too, why do women have to play stupid a little bit in those
24:47
scenarios?
24:48
True.
24:49
Why do you say those things?
24:51
Because it gets a reaction.
24:55
When you think about those older movies where the girl has to go through a makeover and
24:59
she's chasing the boy, that's part of the requirement.
25:03
To get a boy, you have to be a little stupid.
25:06
Play dumb.
25:07
Yeah.
25:08
You have to play dumb.
25:09
That's the advice from all the matriarchs in those old movies is like, well, you can't
25:14
let him know you're too intelligent until you got a ring on your finger.
25:18
Even now, they're like, oh, you need to make the man feel like he's still in power.
25:24
You need to give him situations where he can make the decision ultimately, but you don't
25:29
really care what the decision is.
25:31
Yeah.
25:32
I remember in college, one of my guy friends telling me...
25:37
Now, I was already dating my now husband, so I'm not really sure why this was brought
25:43
up to me, but he was like, you're just so intimidating to guys.
25:49
You told me that one time.
25:51
Well, we're both intimidating and we're proud of it.
25:53
It's okay.
25:54
Yeah, I like that about myself.
25:55
But what a thing to say to a woman.
25:59
My intelligence intimidates you as we both sit here on equal playing ground.
26:06
We're in the same classes.
26:07
I think we should look each other dead in the eye and say, good.
26:13
I want to be terrifying.
26:15
I saw a thing online one time and it was a guy saying something about brightly colored
26:21
hair on a woman.
26:23
He was like, in nature, brightly colored animals, it means stay away, I'm toxic or whatever.
26:32
He's talking about women with pink hair or women with bright red hair or whatever as
26:37
the same kind of thing.
26:38
Oh, a woman with brightly colored hair, it's a sign to stay away.
26:42
A woman commented back and said something along the lines of, that's not meant to scare
26:48
away a mate, it's meant to scare away predators.
26:53
If it's scaring you away, then it's working.
26:55
Yeah.
26:56
How about we stop talking about physical appearance all the time?
27:01
How about we talk about what's inside?
27:03
Wouldn't that be nice?
27:05
Our guts and our spleens.
27:06
Hey, my lungs are full of fluid.
27:08
Listen, maybe that's intimidating.
27:11
Yeah, all the fluid.
27:13
It's too much fluid.
27:16
So another quote from this, it says, in the next Batman movie, the Joker should be a woman,
27:22
which it then goes on to say, when he presses you on this, say, well, women are more persecuted
27:28
in society, so I think she'll have actual things to be upset about.
27:32
As he stares at you in stunned silence, finish him off with, and maybe Tom Holland can play
27:38
Batman.
27:40
Tom Holland is a beautiful soul.
27:43
He's adorable.
27:44
He's like a precious little angel baby.
27:46
But I think with that one, it's so easy for men to relegate women to a certain role.
27:55
Well, a woman could play this role, but she can't play this role.
28:01
And I understand that, you know, stereotypically, the chokers, I hadn't like, the comics say
28:07
so.
28:08
But at the same time, we expand our thoughts on what women can do and what they can be.
28:16
If they want to be a villain, they can be a villain.
28:19
Well, that's such an interesting thing, because women are held up as this symbol of purity
28:26
and peace.
28:27
Or men that want to look for a good woman.
28:31
That's what they're looking for.
28:32
Purity and peace and quiet, calm and whatever, you know.
28:37
Compliant.
28:38
Yeah.
28:39
What if we're not that?
28:42
I've never been calm, quiet.
28:47
I've been calm.
28:49
Maybe for like short moments.
28:51
I do occasionally sleep.
28:54
Not as much as I should.
28:56
Certainly not as the fluid fills my lungs.
28:59
But I remember as a kid getting these comments from the women in my life of like, and I know
29:06
I've said this before, but you need to be less opinionated because you're going to have
29:14
to take on your husband's opinions someday.
29:18
You need to be less stubborn because you're going to have to obey your husband someday.
29:23
And it just never sat right with me.
29:27
I'm not that girl.
29:29
And why would God make me stubborn and strong and opinionated and loud if that's not what
29:37
a woman is supposed to be?
29:39
I think just in general, we need to expand our definition of woman because we've made
29:47
it so small.
29:50
A woman can be quiet.
29:52
A woman can be calm.
29:54
If that's in your nature to be more quiet, more reserved, more calm, be those things.
30:01
Own those things.
30:04
If you as a woman are loud or smart or whatever it is, any attribute, that is a woman.
30:14
And the same for men.
30:15
Men, you don't all have to be full of rage.
30:19
You don't have to be big and strong and like, raw meat.
30:28
We were talking about this with mom the other day too.
30:30
Men are allowed to like pedicures.
30:33
They're allowed to like going to the spa.
30:36
They're allowed to like anything they want because you're a person and you get to have
30:41
your own personality.
30:43
Well, and you got to ask if it's such a small box, what happens when someone deviates from
30:52
that box?
30:53
Doesn't that make our God smaller?
30:56
Yeah.
30:57
If all he can do is make copy pasted boxes.
31:02
Exactly.
31:03
And yet you look at when God made Adam and Eve, he gave them individual personalities,
31:11
but then he gave each of their children individual personalities and each of their children individual
31:15
personalities and each of my children, very individual personalities.
31:22
And all of that still fits within peoplehood, personhood.
31:30
It all still fits just as humans.
31:36
There's one more quote.
31:37
I want to see if I can find it.
31:38
It's my favorite one.
31:40
Okay.
31:41
This is very, this is the last one from this book.
31:45
I probably will revisit this book later because I think it's spectacular, but the last one
31:51
for today from this book.
31:53
So it says, say this to a man wearing a Jersey.
31:57
I love your cosplay.
32:01
And when he says it's not cosplay, say, well, it kind of is.
32:06
You're not really a basketball.
32:08
I mean, that's very true.
32:10
I think a lot of what this book dives into is this idea of like really easily shattered
32:17
masculinity.
32:20
And when we make either femininity or masculinity into such a tiny little construct, anything
32:30
that goes out of that box, like we said, suddenly makes you not masculine or not feminine or
32:36
whatever.
32:39
And if someone's entire personality is, I'm an alpha man, I'm masculine, I'm whatever,
32:46
the tiniest thing that pinpricks that is going to throw off their entire personality.
32:56
Imagine that.
32:57
Imagine one tiny little comment, like one tiny little joke about a tiny little rumor
33:04
is all I need to make a big mess.
33:07
I'm the rumor weed.
33:08
Well, there's the veggie tales for the day guys.
33:10
You can check off the box.
33:13
And imagine if that's your whole personality and the littlest thing can throw it off completely
33:21
or can completely insult you to your core because that's who you are is just I'm masculine
33:30
or I'm feminine.
33:33
If that's all you've got, it's going to be really easy to destroy you.
33:38
You're going to need to spend a lot of time in therapy.
33:41
That's very true.
33:42
You're going to need to figure out who the crap you are apart from stereotypes.
33:47
Stereotypes.
33:48
There was a TikTok that I saw.
33:50
We're back on the TikToks.
33:51
Is everybody drinking along with me that I sent you, Alyssa, the other day?
33:55
I want to see what his name is.
33:59
Oh, this is Mark Driscoll.
34:02
Oh no, we hate him.
34:06
And he there's, is he a pastor?
34:10
Oh yeah.
34:11
He's a mega church pastor.
34:13
Should we listen to this or should I just talk about it?
34:16
Just talk about it.
34:17
Okay.
34:18
So I saw a TikTok from him that talks about his daughters and he said, I raised my daughters
34:24
to be strong, but not independent.
34:30
Because if you raise an independent daughter, she's more likely to get divorced or die single
34:35
and that's terrible.
34:36
That's not what you want from her.
34:37
The horror.
34:38
Because she eventually needs to be married and needs to submit to her husband.
34:43
So I raised my daughters to be not independent.
34:50
I want my wife not to be independent because they need me.
34:54
Those poor little females.
34:56
And I just raged.
34:58
You know when you see those, when you see something like that and you just want to like
35:03
spew vomit.
35:06
Sometimes you just want to like the exorcist just, she was going to say something.
35:13
Were you going to, oh, you were going to react to it on TikTok and she physically could not
35:18
because she was so mad.
35:21
So mad.
35:22
Eventually when I find, you know, some peace, I will react to it.
35:29
But I just, I'm shocked that that kind of behavior is out there in the world and people
35:37
accept it and people follow it.
35:39
That's insane to me.
35:40
I want to raise my daughters not to be independent.
35:44
Would you say that of your sons?
35:46
Like that is abusive.
35:49
What it, like is, first of all, is the worst thing in the world for her to be single?
35:54
I mean, I think he probably thinks it is.
35:57
Jesus was single.
35:59
Jesus was single.
36:00
Come on.
36:01
Paul said it's better to be single and if you must get married, then do so.
36:08
But also in today's society, it's really, really hard to be like a one income household.
36:16
So she has to have some independence because she has to go out and interview and find a
36:23
career or say that this husband that she finds if he's anything like you is abusive.
36:31
Now she's stuck in a situation where she can't get out.
36:35
Well, she's been emotionally stunted since she was a child and now she has to try and
36:41
recover herself.
36:43
What if her husband dies?
36:45
What is she going to do?
36:47
You're setting her up for failure.
36:50
Not just failure, but you're setting her up for a lifetime of misery because if you're,
37:00
here's the reality at the end of the day, people will fail you 100% of the time.
37:06
My husband's wonderful.
37:07
Like I love him, but he's going to fail me because he's a person and so people do.
37:15
If I am 100% dependent on my husband, whether that be financially, emotionally, spiritually,
37:25
if I am dependent on this human man standing in front of me, when he fails, I will also
37:34
fall apart.
37:36
I want to know what he thinks the difference between strong and independent is.
37:43
What do you think makes a strong woman?
37:46
Because to me, a strong woman is independent, but to him, maybe a strong woman knows how
37:51
to make a sandwich.
37:53
And can raise five children without ever asking for help.
37:58
My guess is it's a woman who's quiet that will never ask her husband to be a partner.
38:08
That will never ask for anything more than a person that maybe financially supports her.
38:17
And I will say it takes a level of strength to live through that kind of abuse.
38:23
Absolutely.
38:25
But don't raise your daughters for the slaughter.
38:30
Don't raise your daughters with an expectation that they're going to put themselves into
38:34
the same abusive situation that your poor wife put herself in.
38:39
Don't do that to them.
38:41
It's literally astounding to me that he can go out there and post these things on social
38:50
media and have a following.
38:52
And what's particularly sad to me is even the people that disagree with someone like
38:56
this often, and we saw this with Harrison Bucker, we saw the same thing, where men instead
39:03
of standing up and saying, no, this is garbage, he's wrong, he's hurting women, instead of
39:11
saying that they said, well, he's entitled to his religious beliefs.
39:16
I'm not going to tell him he can't believe what he wants to believe.
39:20
Once again, as a man, you want to defend that power.
39:25
You want to defend that power more than you want to defend a woman or the victim.
39:32
If your religious beliefs step on someone else's rights, right to live, to be safe,
39:44
to feel like an equal human being in the world, if your religious beliefs impede that for
39:52
someone else, I'm sorry, they're no longer valid.
39:56
They no longer have any credence in my mind.
39:58
I don't respect them in any way.
40:00
And that's exactly how I feel about this person.
40:03
Something on Instagram or TikTok earlier that was like, if you are reading your Bible, finding
40:11
excuses to put down someone else, you're reading your Bible wrong.
40:16
We follow a page on Facebook called Ezra Rising.
40:20
And we actually repost from her semi often.
40:23
And so she is quoting someone else and it says, if reading the Bible causes me to scrutinize
40:27
others more than I scrutinize myself, then I am not reading the Bible correctly.
40:32
If reading the Bible gives you some sort of right in your head to put others down, some
40:40
sort of right to harm their freedoms, their God given freedoms and rights, you're doing
40:48
something wrong, something very wrong.
40:51
But I also wanted to bring up when I looked up this quote, I just saw another one that
40:54
I want to talk about.
40:55
She posted this about an hour ago.
40:58
And it's a quote.
41:01
And it says, I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very
41:06
different from my own.
41:09
We are a sisterhood of the traveling pants.
41:13
Okay, when I was scrolling through the TikToks and I was looking for other Christian feminist
41:20
accounts to follow just for inspiration, but when you look up Christian feminism, Mark
41:27
Driscoll pops up and all but he was one of the men but more often than not, it's women
41:36
talking about how feminism is wrong.
41:39
And feminism is all about putting down men and we shouldn't be putting down men and blah,
41:45
blah, blah, blah, blah.
41:46
And your strength is the home and there are differences between men and women and you
41:51
should own those differences.
41:53
It's just mostly women defending patriarchy and misogyny.
41:59
But I think it's important to say, even though that's incredibly disheartening, it hurts
42:07
my soul to think that there are women out there fighting to oppress other women.
42:12
However, and I've talked with our mom about this before, there was a time I would have
42:19
said those same things because you're conditioned.
42:24
Because you're raised that this is what's right.
42:27
You're raised that that's what God wants for you.
42:30
And until someone opens the door and says, hey, no, that's not what God wanted.
42:37
It's okay, you can come out here, it's better.
42:40
Until someone does that, I think sometimes you just get stuck and it sucks.
42:47
But again, as loudly as we can shout as we run away from this garbage pile, at least
42:54
a couple people might hear us screaming and maybe they'll follow and maybe they won't
43:00
get themselves stuck in such a terrible situation.
43:05
Maybe they'll comment back to this moron of a pastor and talk about how this is not right.
43:14
Alright.
43:17
So I don't know where we're headed from here in our next couple weeks, we need to sit down
43:21
and kind of have a mapping out meeting.
43:25
But if there are things that you specifically would like to hear about, hear us talk about,
43:29
if there are women of the Bible you'd like to learn more about, we had a ton of fun with
43:32
our Bathsheba series.
43:35
Tell us Lewis and Clark.
43:36
I'd rather you didn't.
43:39
I'll be Lewis, you be Clark.
43:41
Okay, sure.
43:42
We'll get right on that.
43:43
We actually might also, we're kind of excited about a Halloween episode we want to do about
43:47
the Salem witch trials.
43:48
I think that could be really fun and interesting.
43:52
Especially because there's all kinds of shirts going around on TikTok that say they killed
43:56
women not witches.
43:58
Yeah, so that probably will be in the next couple of weeks as Alyssa hopefully heals
44:06
and perhaps doesn't pass on entirely.
44:11
I would also really like to do an episode on people pleasing.
44:15
That's been something that's been weighing on my heart lately.
44:18
I think that's something that again we as women take on mostly and it's affecting my
44:26
mental health.
44:27
Yeah.
44:28
Alright, so let us know what you guys are interested in.
44:32
We are gonna sit down, have a chat, plan some stuff out and we'll see you guys next week
44:39
for something.
44:41
I'm not gonna see a single one of you.
44:43
That's true.
44:44
I really need to get it through my head that this is a podcast.
44:47
I could start filming you, just you.
44:49
Frankly, even if you did, I still wouldn't see them.
44:51
They would see me.
44:52
We'd like to have a live show.
44:54
No, we wouldn't.
44:55
Come to my old bedroom.
44:56
No live events.
44:57
Alyssa's very anti-social.
44:58
You can sit on this bed with us.
44:59
No, no.
45:00
We're not inviting anyone.
45:01
Into our beds.
45:02
Nope.
45:03
Okay.
45:04
You'll hear us.
45:05
You'll hear us next week.
45:06
If you know anyone from Zimbabwe, share this with them because we would love to have a
45:07
Zimbabwean house.
45:08
Oh good, things I can plan out.
45:09
Bye!